A Beautiful Mindwipe

NCC Medical Ward

Like its previous incarnation, this medical ward was designed with the medic in mind, with all the modern advances to make the dirty work of repairs a world easier. It is well lit, the blue and violet metal of the walls and decor is a shade paler here, and the ubiquitous filigree is missing, all to assist in ease of cleaning. Still, the place veritably sparkles. In the furniture, there is a subtle motif of blades and sharp edges, as if to evoke the scalpel of a surgeon, although it is all quite safe. Around two dozen beds, more comfortable than their sharp looks would suggest, fill the medical ward, laid out in a tidy grid, and more can be flipped out of the walls should emergency demand it. A set of tracks on the ceiling mirror the grid of beds, allowing advanced scanning equipment and tolls to be swiveled around to the various beds. Computer terminals and cabinets are molded right into the walls at intervals, and while there are the normal medical security cameras, it appears as if someone has set some of the cameras specifically to watch the cabinets.

A small, pale blue mechanical creature is sitting at a computer console, it's bright magenta optics glued intently to the screen's display. It seems to be having some difficulty using the controls, which are clearly designed for a much larger Transformer.

Excise is currently in the medical ward, patching people up using his leet medical skills. The triplechanger is waving a tricorder thingee over a fallen but still alive Seeker's form, going 'hmm' and 'huh' and 'oh that's very interesting' every so often. The orange mech scratches his chin as he thinks about what diagnosis to give this poor, mauled Decepticon.

Mindwipe has been haunting the halls of the Absolution, familiarising himself with the flower of Decepticon ship-building. He pauses in the medical ward, a place where he might be expected to serve some duties. Mindwipe can already guess that the place won't be set up properly at all, and he isn't disappointed. Mindwipe sighs, rather histrionically.

Wiretap managed somehow not to notice Excise's potentially-dangerous medical ministrations until just now! Perhaps the contents of the computer's screen is just too good to ignore. The mutterings of Excise have now become too much for the sensitive ears of the weasel to bea, and she turns her head to watch the gaudily-painted Excise and his attempts at performing 'repairs'. "You don't have clearance to perform repairs, Mr. Orange. Just what do you plan on doing?"

"Oh don't worry then," Excise assures Wiretap in a reassuring tone that might not reassure her, "I'm not Mr. Orange. I'm Excise!" he flexes for Wiretap's benefit and goes back to scanning the poor Seeker. A part of him wonders why Mr. Orange would be conducting medical affairs without the authorization. Mr. Orange must be a moron, he decides. As Mindwipe enters, Excise gives out an audible gasp. He elbows Wiretap a few times to get her attention. "Look," he whispers in a loud voice, "It's one of those creepy Headmasters! Lets pick on him!"

Mindwipe narrows his optics and attempts to catch Excise's optics with his own magenta glare. "Excise, so you are named, so I call you. Names have power, and unless you would like that power used against you, I would rather suggest that you /eat/ those words of yours now, lest you /choke/ on them later."

"Excise." Wiretap replies flatly, preparing to log the orange Decepticon's actions for future use, and now having a name to attach to the face. The elbow-nudging almost sends her off the edge of the computer console, since Wiretap isn't much bigger than Excise's forearm. she peers quizzically at Mindwipe with her own magenta eyes, before asking, "Then what might your name be, hmm? Introductions seem to be in order."

"I-what?" Excise stammers at Mindwipe. He avoids Mindwipe's glare, lest Mindwipe give him Headmaster cooties. He looks around for a shiny object so that he can view Mindwipe off of that instead, much the way Perseus defeated Medusa. "My name is a powerful name, yes... but I think just about everyone has names... oh sure some people get extra names, and some people get misspellings of names which may or may not count as an extra name, but that doesn't really make them more powerful. And... I... don't eat. You're confusing me for one of those little fleshie guys that sit on your shoulders." He gives Wiretap a brief look, trying to silently warn her against looking directly at Mindwipe.

Mindwipe eyes Wiretap with a mixture of wariness and disdain. While she did reprimand Excise, she is also staying the same room as him. Hesitantly, he answers, "Count Mindwipe of the Hellbender. I answer to Scorponok. You are?" It's only half his name and not even his name in the Black Tongue. Idly, Mindwipe withdraws his viper pistol and plays with the weapon, commenting, "Excise, you imbibe fuel. That is eating. Semantics are a poor game to play."

Wiretap is used to being looked down-upon by the other Decepticons, due to her small stature, animal mode, and complete lack of combat effectiveness. They only like her when they NEED her, it seems. "Wiretap, communications officer." she replies, her end of the introductions taken care of. "What brings you here, then, Mindwipe, aside from a battle of wits with Excise?" She asks, faint amusement playing across her features.

Excise ahs and understands the name thing now. This fellow has /five/ names. Count, Mindwipe, of, the, and Hellbender. Excise prays the name theory isn't right, or else Mindwipe'll be five times as strong as he is. "Well I don't /choke/ on fuel now do I?" he shoots back. He can't see that Mindwipe is playing with his pistol, as the shiny side of the medical bed he's using as a mirror to view Mindwipe isn't very clean.

Mindwipe doesn't look down on animals, for obvious reasons, and he doesn't even look down on small creatures anymore, due to his present circumstances. He's just concerned that the ferret is keeping bad company. He replies to Wiretap, "It's only a battle if both sides are armed, otherwise, it is a /slaughter/, and I can get behind a bit or carnage, now and then." Mildly, he notes to Excise, "You could, if the servos that control your throat diameter suddenly and involuntarily contracted."

"Never hurts to take an opportunity to sharpen one's wit." Wiretap replies, glancing between Mindwipe and Excise. "Although with Excise here, it may be a lost cause. Something like sharpening a turnip, I would imagine. Is there any real reason for your visit to the medical ward, Mindwipe? No complications from your recent transformation?"

Excise snorts at Mindwipe, "Look, Count Mindwipe of the Hellbender, if that is your real name, I think I know a thing or two about medicine and I know it's impossible for Transformer throats to contract by accident. I mean maybe if someone were strangling a Transformer with their bare hands, sure, the victim might cough or wheeze or make motions similar to someone trying to gasp for air, but that is for obvious reasons that don't require an explanation at this point in time." Excise is starting to think they've gotten off track, and by accident he finally looks back at Mindwipe. Wiretap seems to have survived so far, so perhaps it isn't too dangerous.

Mindwipe explains to Wiretap, "I am quite fine. Never better. However, I may be called upon to pull some duty shifts here, insofar as my sphere of knowledge extends into the healing talents. Best to be familiar with the set-up." As soon as Excise looks over at Mindwipe, the hypnotist intones at Excise, "Choke," and snaps his fingers.

Wiretap keeps all her senses on full record, in case this developes into something interesting... Soundwave would likely want to see how well Mindwipe's supossed mental abilities function.

Excise gets swirly eyes on top of his optics. "Yes, master Count Mindwipe of the Hellbender," he says in a monotone voice. Pause. "Choke as in the aforementioned discussion, or choke as in fail to accomplish a specific feat when a) either it was a very important feat, or b) one that was nearly accomplished, with the undertone that success should have been likely?" Oh oh, Mindwipe seems to be distracted by the radio. What will Wiretap do?!

Wiretap peers sharply at Excise, who's swirly optics are not the only sign of mental disturbance. With a monotone that would surely shame Soundwave, the orange mech seems to be stranded in a hypnotic state. She scampers up Excise's body, and looks into his eyes. She slaps him across the face experimentally, the standard procedure for breaking a trance.

Mindwipe facepalms as Excise fails to understand even a simple command. He will need to be more specific in the future. He hisses lowly, "So I see that you /choke/ at choking. How appropriate." He inquires sharply of Wiretap, "What compassion do you have for this fool? He suggested that you and he should gang up on me. Does your sympathy really lie with such an imbecile?"

Excise gets slapped. "Owwww!" he whines, rubbing his slapped cheek. His optics go back from swirly mode to normal mode, and he looks upset that Wiretap struck him. "What was that for?" he complains to both Mindwipe and Wiretap.

"My allegiances are my own, Mindwipe." The ermine Decepticon replies, leaping away from Excise. "And frankly, I expected your attempt to override Excise's willpower would've been more... Effective. Despite that, you have little to fear from me, but I can't speak for the rest of the Decepticons." She says, eyeing Mindwipe suspiciously. "Excise may be an imbicile, but he is truly a Decepticon. Can the same be said of you?"

Mindwipe, sower of discord, apparently, as Excise gets mad at Wiretap for hitting him. Let the ermine dismiss him. Let them all dismiss him, but someday, they will be sorry, because really, he isn't named Mindwipe for nothing. He leans over Wiretap and replies, "You should not doubt me, little one. If I was exiled, it was for being more the ideal than most find comforting."

Excise walks around a bit, rubbing his eyes with his hands in order to get rid of any residual swirlyness. "I am one hundred percent Decepticon!" He points at his insignia. As Mindwipe approaches Wiretap, Excise stands there uselessly and doesn't move to help.

"Exiled, or fled?" The sharp little face of Wiretap looks up. "you have yet to prove yourself. Respect is to be earned, and isn't given lightly. My doubts are founded in solid fact, and will be until you have done something to change those facts."

Mindwipe notes, tone frosty, "My lord Scorponok killed two Primes, and he sought to rid the universe of Fortress Maximus and his merry band of men. We did not flee." He was indeed exiled, assigned to Scorponok's crew as punishment for past crimes. "We trailed ruin in our wake! But ah, you make such demands of me, little one. Why, just days ago, I faced a strangely-coloured Autobot beast in combat on Craniax. He looked something like..." Mindwipe withdraws a blank scroll, and in suspiciously dark ink, he sketches out the Autobot Quickswitch.

Excise scoffs, "Fortress Maximus. Hah! Meanwhile the rest of us were battling a little Autobot you might have heard of? /Optimus Prime/. The deadliest, most powerful, terrifying Autobot of them all! And we cut him down to size." Not Excise specifically, per se. He was out on a deep space assignment for the past million years or so. Excise squints at the scroll, "That's Quickswitch," he says. "He's pretty tough, but he's no Optimus Prime!" Wiretap shrugs, and turns away from the pair of larger Decepticons. "It is not your mettle in battle I doubt, Mindwipe. That would be a poor choice of measurement from one such as I, defenseless and weaponless." She leaves it at that, not wanting to provoke the bat-winged Decepticon any further.

Mindwipe repeats the name, as if tasting it, "Quickswitch." Putting the scroll and ink away, he actually admits, "Optimus Prime? You know, I never heard of him until I visited here and checked the history files. I am afraid that he never made a very big splash in the parts of space we were busily oppressing. I am sincerely sorry that it took you so many millions of years to murder him when Scorponok felled Sarikus Prime scant hours after the death of Sentinel Prime." He narrows his optics and inquires of Wiretap, "Do you doubt me, for my organic component? The Decepticons accepted Thunderwing's pretender shells easily enough, and those had organic components." Just what does Mindwipe know about Pretender shells, anyway? "It is not the metal of the machine, but the mettle that matters."

Excise clenches a fist, annoyed as Mindwipe slanders... wait, slanders the Autobots. Alright that's ok then. "Sarikus? Mo like /Sorry/kus if you ask me, am I right? Eh? Eh?" He looks at Wiretap for some support on this. Crickets chirp. "Uh, anyway... about that organic thing... can we see it?"

"The Pretender shells met with MUCH distaste and distrust when they were unveiled. Reviled by many, called abominations." Wiretap adds, looking over her shoulder. "UNTIL they were proven to be effective. And even then, we were betrayed by thier master, the aforementioned Thunderwing."

Mindwipe grumbles, "I was not placed on this plane of existence to amuse you." However, he cannot see the harm in it, so Mindwipe transforms. A small, armour-clad figure that vaguely resembles a small robot-mode tape stands atop the bat's back. In a flash, the armour vanishes, revealing a rather severe-looking fellow dressed in black. If anyone tries anything funny, the armour will be back in a flash.

Mindwipe turns into a bat. Is anyone shocked?

Excise nods in agreement with Wiretap about the Pretenders, though he wasn't actually there for it. When Mindtape takes off his head, having it transform into its Nebulon form, he recoils, "Ew, that's disgusting!" he screeches, backing away and bumping against the medical table that the Seeker was treating is resting on. Looking at it from a safe distance, Excise curls his lips in a distasteful manner. "Can... can it do any tricks?" he asks haltingly. Wiretap is curious what happens if the biological component is... Forcibly incapacitated, but now does now seem to be the time. "What happens to your... mind when you are apart? Can you still communicate, or are you effectively split?" Her optics look at the humanoid with great interest, but she's hardly any threat.

Vorath sniffs, "No more disgusting than a primary processing unit, not that I would expect you to be able to identify one. No, I do /not/ perform tricks, much as your own primary processing unit does not perform tricks. Just processing ticks." He steps off Mindwipe's back and looks around the medical ward. He waves a hand and grouses, "Look at this! Not configured for work on organics at all. Dreadful. Even Thunderwing had better facilities, and he killed us, often as not." The giant bat shrugs and replies to Wiretap, somewhat cryptically, "Binary bonding ensures that we are /never/ apart, though we may be far away."

"Well maybe we could train it?" Excise suggests. He's talking to Mindwipe's headless form rather than to Vorath, as Vorath ought to know that his place is in the kitchen fixin' ener-sammiches for the robots and not talkin' back when he ain't been talked to first. Even as Vorath starts complaining about the medical bay, Excise keeps giving Mindwipe suggestions. "Perhaps we could teach him out to fetch? Or roll over? Ooooh, or play dead?"

"so many questions, so little time!" Wiretap says, her eyes hungry with curiosity. "And what if one of you is killed? Perhaps some of the autobots who have had a similar fate must be captured for certain... Experiments. A full report on the details of this 'binary bonding' procedure would do much to dismiss rumour and heresay about your condition."

Vorath remarks to Mindwipe, now clearly ignoring Excise, "Or perhaps you could teach the machine to grovel on hands and knees." Mindwipe seems to be ignoring all the suggestions, and perhaps a bit annoyingly, he notes, "I am sure all that data would be rather interesting, however, I have been informed that it belongs in the hands of one Scrapper. Ah, I remember back when he was building his little city. How times change."

"Or maybe even teach it how to beg, or go on walkies, or jump through hoops..." Excise keeps rattling off ideas.

"I will have to make sure Scrapper makes his research more public, then." Wiretaps responds, but the weasel doesn't sound very convinced. Still no proof of the fleshling's loyalty... The Decepticon cause would seem to be at odds with any goals of flesh creatures.

Vorath pretty much hates everyone in this room who is not an extension of himself, it has to be said. Mindwipe suggests to Excise, "How about we train your head to speak sense, instead? I think that'll be more useful." He shrugs again and comemnts, "I need to speak with Scrapper, anyway, about the matter of repearing the Hellbender. The landing in the swamp was relatively soft, all things considered."

Excise snorts at Mindwipe, "My head isn't /organic/, Mindwipe. It can't be /trained/." He shakes his head, looking over at Wiretap and giving her a 'man this guy is crazy' look. "So what're you and Scorponok going to be doing, huh? Joining up under the wonderful flag of Lord Galvatron, I assume?"

Wiretap aits patiently, as Excise asks the question she's been wanting to ever since Mindwipe entered the repair bay in the first place. She looks to both the giant bat and the small humanoid Nebulan. There can be only one answer, really...

Giant Bat inquires innocently, "Are you saying that machines are incapable of learning, then, Excise?" He adds, demurring, "Perhaps. That is up to my lord Scorponok, of course," who recently got himself knocked out by Galvatron, so relations are bit strained there, he thinks. "Rest assured, however, that we wish to see the Autobots dead just as much as you do, and I severely doubt that, even if we do not formally ally with your Decepticons, we will not hinder you. Space is vast." The bat grins toothily. "Plenty of room for destruction." Vorath adds, rather quickly, "The destruction of elements that reduce the overall safety and security of our peoples."

Soundwave has arrived.

"I'm rational enough to accept a 'the enemy of my enemy' approach, Mindwipe." Wiretap responds cooly. "There are many who will not, however, and will be far more distrustful than I am. Would you allow the Decepticons to conquer the resource-rich Nebulos, I wonder? No need to answer now. I think the time will come soon when your actions will speak louder than words on that particular issue."

Speaking of more distrustful than Wiretap, there's no 'con more paranoid than Soundwave. Well, except perhaps Breakdown, but even then it's a close comparison.

The Decepticon intelligence agent strides into medbay, tall and strong and blue, stopping immediately upon noticing the contents -of- said medbay. His visor-like optics sweep over the group, considering them one by one, what he knew of them, what he'd heard of them, and what they might be capable of doing to him if they all ganged up on him.

Wiretap he knew. He didn't trust her further than he could throw her, but he could throw her at least slightly further than he could throw some Decepticons, and he'd built her himself, so that was always a plus. Still, there was always that small chance that she might be trying to backstab him later, so he was already on guard from that.

Mindwipe. What had he heard of the headmasters? They were supposedly erratic, counting among their numbers such *ahem* sterling silver symbols of Decepticonian superiority as...Triggerhappy...and Mindwipe was a bit of a nutjob to begin with, but his hypnotic powers were top-notch. Almost too top-notch, Soundwave considers...he might have to be dealt with.

Soundwave crosses his arms in the door way, still surveying the room. "Wiretap: Report." He demands in his electric monotone.

Vorath, out of his armour, looks rather like a normal human, though the two hearts beating in his chest cavity give him away. He frowns thinly and crosses his arms as he wanders about the medical bay, muttering under his breath about how rubbish the place is. Mindwipe is the giant robot bat that smells faintly of incense and solder. The bat actually laughs out loud, and he coos, "Oh, you poor little thing. You don't realise, do you? We already did! Scorponok and Zarak are as one, and Zarak is the leader of Nebulos. As soon as the Autobots are put down, all we need do is exercise our /wholly legitimate/ claim on Nebulos." He glances over at Soundwave, optics narrowed.

"Well that's just a plum interesting question..." Excise murmurs, "I... think we can learn. I mean I see others do it all the time..." He seems to have been thrown for a loop while he thinks about this and his player has a phone meeting.

He's been gone since before Optimus was Prime, and his most recent appearance was just to tussle with Quickswitch."

Wiretap sits up straight, returning her creator's steady, unblinking gaze. "Gathering first-hand information from unit Mindwipe. Subject presents example of binary bonding type A; known as a 'Headmaster'. Subject posesses mental capabilities allowing him to influence the weakminded, eg, Excise. Subject posesses keen intellect and a dislike of direct questioning."

Wiretap knows Excise is still here, yes.

Soundwave looks between Vorath and Mindwipe, listening to Wiretap's rundown of the the various individuals within medbay. "Suggest Type A binary bonds retain connection with technological components when in New Crystal City," Soundwave's monotone notes after a moment, "Concurrence?"

He didn't like that little organic thing. It made him feel...feelings. Of wanting to squish the living crap out of it.

"Excise: report." He demands after another long moment, finally entering the medbay properly and pointing at one of the medics. It scrambles to attend him, in all good faith. And fear. Fear was good.

He liked fear.

Hackjob says, "I regret to inform you that the patient will live."

Combat: Hackjob expertly repairs Soundwave's injuries.

Hackjob says, "Leaded or unleaded?"

Combat: Hackjob refuels Soundwave's energon reserves.

Vorath busies himself climbing a supply cabinet by the handles, grumbling about how the Decepticons would at least have the decency to have some ladders around the place, but then, the jerks all fly and don't have any use for ladders. Mindwipe could just come over and help Vorath up, but Mindwipe is busy being obnoxiously cryptic. The bat, meanwhile, covers half his face with a wing, and he hisses lowly, "Yes, Excise. Decepticons are capable of learning. Generally speaking. I have my doubts about some specimens." He makes no action to retake his head. After Soundwave a made a suggestion, and Mindwipe answers to Scorponok, not the tape commander.

"Concurrance." Wiretap replies. It seems the closer she is to Soundwave, the more /like/ Soundwave she is. "Analysis: Evaluation of typical Decepticon attitudes towards organic creatures would lead to potential hazards towards organic component of binary bonding procedure. Subject has noted a lack of medical care present for biological entities... Subject's safety is dramatically decreased when not attached." The weasel, scarecly larger than even the un-armoured Volrath, can identify with the lack of ladders, though.

Excise gives Soundwave a thumbs up, "Feelin' good, Commander Soundwave!" he reports. "We're just making sure these Scorponok lot are going to fall in line with Lord Galvatron's rule, and explaining to them how well we learn." Excise knows Galvatron is nuts, but he doesn't want some new dude taking over, as new dude would just end up favouring new dudes over old dudes. Ironically similar to when Galvatron was new dude.

Soundwave listens to Excise for a moment. 'Similar to when Galvatron was new?' Treason!? Sounds like treason to Soundwave. He advances across the repair bay to stare down Mindwipe and Excise like blue-and-silver lightning - well, okay, he strides, not so much bolts - and stops before them both. His fingers flex instinctively, as though he was really, really strongly considering choking them right here and right now. Or maybe he's just a twitchy individual. Or maybe he was just feeling sore. Who knows?

The faceless red optic visor sweeps over them both briefly. "File report: A.S.A.P.," he says to Mindwipe after a short moment. He really wanted to meet this Scorponok everyone was so hot-to-trot over, and gauge the fellow for himself. "Medical profile: helpful. Request: further information." Of course, pretty much everybody in the Decepticons knew that when Soundwave was 'requesting' information, he was -demanding- it. "Demand: Medical Diagonstic soon." With that, Soundwave focuses on the little organic. Hrmmm. That could be a potential problem. He'd have to get Scrapper to set up an organic-killing virus in his office or something. Couldn't let the little things wander freely, after all.

Giant Bat snorts and gazes up at Soundwave, and he states calmly, much like Obi-Wan Kenobi to the Stormtroopers, "I don't need to file a report." Contrary to Wiretap's earlier assumption, hypnotism is not a function of willpower. Indeed, some of the most willful people are often the most easily hypnotised. Hypnotism works more mysteriously than that!

Soundwave stares at Mindwipe for a moment before waving his hand dismissively and turning to Excise. "File report: immediately," he informs Excise, Mindwipe forgotten for a moment as the massive blue and white Decepticon moves for the doorway.

Strange...had he told Mindwipe to...hrm. He couldn't remember. He stops, his frame blocking the door as his hand settles onto it for a moment, lost in thought.

Excise hesitates and moves back as Mindwave and Soundwipe (close enough) get all up in each other's grill for a stare down. In his mind, Excise hears the Star Wars soundtrack from when Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fought Darth Maul. Wasn't that awesome music? Finally, Excise clicks his heals together as Soundwave addresses him, "Sir yes sir!... report about what, exactly?" Giant Bat quietly moves over to Vorath, not about to push his luck with Soundwave too much today. Vorath's armour flashes back over his body, and he transforms back into Mindwipe's head as the bat rears up into robot mode. He leans against a wall of the medical ward idly.

The giant bat turns into the Decepticon Mindwipe. Who would have thought that a giant robot bat was really a Transformer?

Soundwave stops. About...what? Soundwave couldn't remember. He places his hand on the side of his head for a moment, tilting his head to the side. "...opinions: Headmaster-related." He informs Excise after a moment. "Exposure/Contact/Miscellaneous." Yes, that sounded right.

Sort of.

...damn, he was brain-dead today.

Excise gives a thumbs up back to Soundwave, "You got it, chief!" he exclaims. He puffs out his chest in Mindwipe's direction, pleased that someone as important as Soundwave wants his opinion. "Well I think I'll just mosey on over to this here terminal and let everyone know my opinions, as ordered by Commander Soundwave."

Mindwipe moves away from the terminals, off to occupy a different patch of wall with idly leaning. He looks faintly amused, like the Mona Lisa. Mindwipe murmurs lowly, almost keeping in the insincerity out of his voice, "Congratulations, Excise. The honour is well-deserved."

Excise doesn't take a long time to write up his report. It is not because he is a great typist, but because it is fairly short and he doesn't have that many opinions on them after all. "Thank you," he replies to Mindwipe proudly. He assumes Mindwipe is being sincere. Soundwave very, very much regrets asking Excise to offer his opinion on the Headmasters. Why had he -done- something so brainless?

...ah-HAH. Playing his own tape backwards in his head, he'd discovered what was going on. That little rodent had tricked him! Him! SOUNDWAVE! Oh, he'd pay. He'd pay with his -sprockets-.

Or at least he'd pay with a horrendously elaborate nonlethal trap. Soundwave loved those.

Clenching his fist, Soundwave turns his head backwards, his optic gleaming bright red in Mindwipe's direction. Oh yes...he'd be seeing Soundwave again, very, very soon.

With that, the Decepticon Commander steps out into the halls of NCC, ready to dig through the databases on Mindwipe...and discover how best to utilize and punish him.