Space Pirates

Terrestrial Planets  - Milky Way

As you travel along what might be considered the organic life belt of the Solar System, the gleaming dots of Earth and Mars visible as they reflect the brilliant light of the Sun. This part of space seems much more cluttered as various defunct space probes from NASA and... others, litter the void.

Contents: Shipping Lanes Autobot Sensor #3383 Mars Asteroid Belt Earth

Shipping Lanes

Space is truly vast, but the odds of encountering another ship increase exponentially if one knows where to look. The paths connecting Earth to the Moon, Mars, Cybertron and points beyond are strewn with the ion and exhaust plumes of military, merchant, and tourist ships. Enterprising privateers might be able to take advantage of some of the more regular delivery schedules or impatient crews trying to cut corners off their delivery routes and times. EDC escorts prowl about to counter space piracy, ever-vigilant and ready to protect the interests of those traveling these space highways.

Rumble has arrived. Misfire has arrived.

Space Shuttle  soars through space along galactic shipping lanes not too far from Earth. The Decepticons are on a mission- find and steal some spacecraft. An entire alien freighter would be preferable, but barring that- some small space craft engines will do. The order comes from Soundwave, without much explanation. Just... the directive to get the job done. Blast Off actually sort of hopes they can steal a whole ship. Scavenging parts from another space shuttle, even though it is not sentient and he is, just seems... a bit weird to him somehow.

The Combaticon broadcasts to his passengers, < > His scanners start to take in data.

Within Blast Off's cargo area, the top pops off of a small storage crate, and Rumble emerges. "Whazzat, now? -- Oh! OK, hey, want me to hit it? We'd get some good parts offa that."

Aimless leans back in chair as he looks over Rumble and Misfire, The man eyes the pair of Deceptcions for a moment, "I got my eyes on you two..." Misfire looks over at Aimless, "You keep saying that...What is your problem?" Aimless looks at at Misfire, "We Nebuleans talk...Aint nobody gonna farm..." Misfire waves at Aimless to hush before looking at Rumble, the target master was kinda surprised he was assigned this task. "We could try hailing them first..." Misfire suggests before smiling at the Tape, "Also, don't we need eye patches?"

Space Shuttle  responds evenly, <> The Combaticon moves closer to the alien freighter, which sends a hailing frequency to the shuttle. "This is Spaceship Endless Journey to spacecraft of unknown origin. State your name and purpose." Blast Off replies, <>

There is a sputter of anger and surprsie at the other end, and the radio frequency turns off. Blast Off notes, <> The shuttle's weapons come online as well.

"Peaceful? Awww..." Rumble looks crestfallen. He really wanted to bash something! Glancing over at Misfire, he grins. "Yeah, if we're gonna be space pirates, we can at least look like 'em!"

"Now Aimless!" Misfire shouts as he fumbles into subspace and pulls out a makeshift Pirate Eyepatch which he slides over his optic bar. On the Eyepatch is a Decepticon Logo, with a purple eye patch over the Logo's eye. Misfire looks at Aimless who complains, "I don't wanna." Misfire tilts his head, "But I made them....It took me months!" Aimless grumbles and puts on his matching Eyepatch. Misfire beams, "Pets matching their owners are so in!!!" Misfire then looks at Rumble and tosses the Tape another eyepatch he made. "Yeah! That is the spirit!" Aimless sighs again, "I'M NOT A PET!" Misfire chuckles as he looks at Rumble. "Sounds like the bash mash, is about to happen!"

Space Shuttle  sighs. "These aliens are so very rarely ever /reasonable/..." The shuttle's cargo bay door begins to open as his side lasers warm up and lock on target to the alien ship. <> He radios the ship one last time, <>

Rumble eagerly snatches up the offered eyepatch, and puts it on his...visorlike optics. Kind of a fail, really, but he thinks he looks like hot stuff. "Arrrrrrr, no destroyin'!" He says in the worst pirate accent EVER. Sounds like someone from Brooklyn trying to talk like Captain Kidd. He then pops out of the cargo bay, pulling his laser rifles off his back. "Arrrr, jerks! Give us your freakin' ship! Matey."

Looking at Aimless, Misfire grins widely, "See Rumble likes it!" Aimless just sighs and hangs his head, as Misfire continues, "Now...now...Let's do some shootin' Matey!" Misfire holds out his hand as Aimless leaps into it, forming the gun, "Just let us when to make the scalawywags eat laser, Blast Off!" Misfire whispers to Aimless, "Remember, if we fire warning shots, we haft miss." Aimless emits, "You think that will be a problem Misfire?" Misfire grumbles, "Hush..."

Space Shuttle  sighs again- this time at Rumble's "accent". But at least he understands the "no destroyin'" part. "Very good. Let me draw their fire, while you go in unnoticed. ...Maybe." The shuttle arcs towards the ship, and fires his lasers at it. The alien ship returns fire immediately. "This would be a good time, Misfire. You may join Rumble out there or stay here and shoot from the door. Just..." Does this need to be said? "...Watch your aim, please."

The shuttle flies in closer, seeking to draw fire, his scanners still sweeping the ship. He finally radios back to the other two, <>

Rumble hops out and begins firing wildly. Fortunately, he's sticking with the game plan...he can be very cooperative when he wants to be. << Hey, maybe I can sneak inside an' find out what that is your finest sensors ain't pickin' up. Want me to try?? >>

Space Shuttle  responds, <> In the meantime, the shuttle continues to circle around and draw fire from the alien freighter. The Endless Journey radios them, <>

Rumble folds over and actually shrinks in size to become a tiny cassette tape.

Purple Cassette seems to vanish into the space between Blast Off and the Endless Journey as he transforms out of sight. In tiny cassette mode, the tape infiltrates the ship via one of the backup thrust ports, and drops down through the inner workings of the ship to locate the precious cargo.

What Rumble will find are several disgruntled-looking aliens- humanoid, but with mechanical body attachments- working frantically around the ship. Some are manning the weapons systems, while others rush to take care of the cargo. There are crates and crates lining the bay. They /seem/ innocent enough. If Rumble gets close, he might smell... coffee grounds?

In the meantime, Blast Off keeps firing upon the ship in strategic locations, attempting to disable, not destroy. <>

The cassette tape suddenly unfolds and expands quickly into Rumble's diminuitive robot mode.

Rumble transforms within the slightly larger compartment of the ventilation system, and peers through the grate at the cargo. "...Naw, it *can't* be..." he mutters to himself, then waits for a moment before answering his radio. "<< Listen, I got some bad news...this ain't even worth it. Not unless y'like coffee beans. >>"

Space Shuttle <Blast Off> responds with confusion, <<Coffee?>> There is a silence as the shuttle considers this- while still doing his job, of course, shooting and soaring through the void. Then... OH. The shuttle's vents huff... an *almost* amused huff, too. In a... not *that* amused way. <<Rumble.... break into one of those crates. Tell me what you find. If there is anything besides coffee, however, I will most *certainly* recommend you do NOT ingest it.>>

Rumble sighs, and waits until the coast is clear. Then, he transforms into tape mode again to minimize the chance of being spotted, and drops out of the vent onto one of the crates. He looks to see if there's any sort of crevasse he could slide into to really get a sample of the aromatic product.

The crates are sealed tight, but there are some keys hanging nearby, rattling as the ship sways back and forth. Some of the aliens rush by, but there are occasional gaps in the numbers. One crate starts to slide out of place, thudding against the cargo bay wall. One of the crew comes grumbling up to straighten it again, his back turned to Rumble.

Rumble seizes the sudden opportunity, transforming to robot mode and bashing the crewman in the head with his pylon. Once this dirty deed is done, he puts his pylons away and grabs the keys. "Numbered keys...great security they got in this frickin' dump," he muses. He pulls Key 1 and goes to locate Crate 1, hoping this particular system is pretty much the way it looks.

The man falls with a thud, leaving no one to challenge the Cassetticon. The keys do indeed work, and if Rumble opens the crate, at first he will only see coffee grounds. However.... if he looks further he may find something else....

Rumble ignores Blast Off, for now, and hopes that the Combaticon leaves him be so he can try out these crates. It's almost like being on one of those intergalactic game shows...what's in Crate #2? He pulls Key #2, stepping on the fallen crewman to get to it.

Rumble will find... pretty much the same thing. More coffee grounds. However, all of the ship's moving to and fro has unsettled this one's contents a little bit. Rumble may notice... a small corner of a plastic bag sticking out from the coffee grounds in this one.

Rumble ooohs, suddenly, then quickly begins digging through the grounds. "What do we have here....!" Rumble will find several bags inside, hidden among the coffee grounds. They are full of some strange, white, powdery substance..... Blast Off finally radios in, <<...Well?>>

Rumble studies the baggies, then suddenly realizes that he's probably going to need to talk to Blast Off at some point. Especially if he wants off this ship in one piece. "<< Uhh...gotta situation here. The coffee is hidin' bags of white powder. Might be a drug, might be a fuel additive...dunno, I ain't no chemist, but they're goin' through a lotta trouble to cover these bags up with coffee grounds. >>"

Space Shuttle <Blast Off> sighs through the radio. <<Yes. I think we have come across some kind of drug runner ship. They sometimes travel along these shipping lanes, transporting drugs to various planets. Seems this one is making a shipment to Earth. Watch yourself in there... they are likely armed. I am still drawing their attention. See if you can sneak to a control panel somewhere and shortcircuit their weapons, lighting systems... anything to cause chaos and confusion. Just don't make the ship completely nonfunctional.>>

"<< You got it. >>" Rumble isn't familiar with the ship's systems, but he knows how to short-circuit a ship. This technical maneuver involves locating a central power box, and bashing it to smithereens with his pylons.

Sparks fly, the overhead lights flicker...then the power goes out in the ship, and mass pandemonium ensues.

Space Shuttle <Blast Off> is still fighting the ship outside... when the power goes out. The freighter's weapons cease to function and red emergency lights go on everywhere inside and outside the ship. The Combaticon fires a few more times, rocking the ship. It's a suggestion- leave the ship... or die. The aliens seem to get the hint, fleeing towards emergency life pods. <<Good job, Rumble. Now just don't INGEST that cargo. There's no telling WHAT is in there.>>

"<< You don't gotta tell me twice! ...Betcha I could make a great resale of that junk, though, >>" Rumble muses. Shortly after the warning blasts, Rumble the Pirate floats back over toward Blast Off, toting a few bags of blow. He isn't sure what it is, but on the streets, he's going to call it 'blow' and see how many green pieces of paper the humans are willing to give him for it.

Space Shuttle <Blast Off> radios Rumble, <<Perhaps. Here, attach this to that ship.>> The Combaticon shuttle launches out a very strong chain. Once attached to the alien ship, he can pull the ship along behind him... back to the Decepticon orbital construction site currently rotating just over the planet Earth. From there, Decepticons will be able to take the freighter and use it... for whatever purpose Soundwave had in mind. And Blast Off will make sure that one of those waiting Decepticons will be his teammate Swindle, who he knows may be *quite interested* in this cargo. Maybe enough to help pay off some of Blast Off's never-ending debt to him, too. ...Hopefully. The alien pods float away, but they are of no interest to the Combaticon now that he has won his "prize."

Rumble hooks up the towlines expertly, as if he's had some experience with this sort of heist before. Once everything's been rigged properly, Rumble heads into Blast Off's cargo hold, and hops into his crate of...well, Primus only knows what he keeps in there. "I ain't gonna lie. I was kinda hopin' for a weapons heist."

Space Shuttle <Blast Off> responds, <<Well- drug dealers are often weapons dealers, too. I used to be a mercenary.... so I have experience with.. that... /sort/ of individual. There may well be weapons in that cargo, too.>> The shuttle proceeds to fly towards the construction site, staying quiet for most of the way. He's not exactly a great conversationalist. At one point, though, as an onboard camera points towards that crate, he does ponder, <<What ARE you doing in there?>>

"Plottin' some stuff," Rumble says, then he pops back out of the crate like a lady out of a birthday cake. "But hey. We had some good times. See if you can cut me a piece of the pirate booty, willya? I mean, I know it's bros-before-everyone else, but I was here helpin' ya!"