2031 Olympics - Demolition Derby

Six Lasers - Planet XXX Screw you guys, I'll build my own theme park! With hookers and blackjack! You know what, forget the theme park! Technically a small asteroid, Planet XXX resides in the Six Lasers solar system's outer rim, tucked out of harm's way. A misshapen planetoid, this down and dirty attraction is usually not mentioned in the rest of the ads, as Six Lasers puts on a family friendly public front. Those interested will know where to find it. The attractions themselves reside in a single domed fortress consisting of a docking bay with a discreet shuttle that arrives every hour, and the main entertainment area. Inside, the facilities resemble a crude strip joint, with all manner of exotic aliens and robots on display. Although the variety is immense, humanity's lack of a galactic presence has resulted in little in the way that a human would find sensual. It the very least it's amusing and/or gross. Planet XXX also has ready access to more liquor than anywhere in the system aside from Bar Moon. Shady dealings often take place here.

Contents:

Sit-Com Temple Dog  Chromedome White Lamborghini Blue Sportscar  Red Spacecraft  Porsche 928  Winnebago  Carjack Kenworth K100 Aerodyne  Blue Femme

Obvious exits: Space  leads to Six Lasers Solar System.

XXX has erected a giant mud pit, the sort that is usually used for scantily clad mud-wrestling, just for this event. There are also tubs of Jell-O and pudding on stand-by to liven up the event if it gets too dull. The announcer is a man in a bright pink suit who is wearing a rather ridiculous plumed hat. He sits up in a box behind the audience stands, behind a bulletproof plate glass shield, and he has a thousand-watt grin as he announces, "Weeeelll, well, well, this ain't the kind of shindig I usually emcee, but I figure hey... y'all'll be stripped to the chassis by the time you're done. S'all good. So let's get it on!" He snaps his fingers and a loud gong rings. Round one, fight!

Temple Dog  prowls slowly around the mess of an arena as things get underway. The cobalt and jade monsterbot lets his optics observe the rest of the contestants until the word is given by the slick emcee and the gong sounds. Keeper moves into a trot and then charges at one of the biggest targets on the field, the big black menacing Kenworth aka Motormaster with a roar.

Combat: Temple Dog  strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne  with his Headbutting Foo! (Ram) attack!

 Breakdown says, "Haha, wow, three Stunticons here! We're gonna do great, huh, Motormaster?"

 Carjack says, "Despite the rules requiring me to help -any-one that asks for it, you know I'm totally rooting for you guys."

Red Spacecraft  approaches the ring, eyeing the pit full of viscous mud with disdain. Still, unlike most(all?) of the competition, HE won't be driving. The small red Decepticon flips up into his spaceship mode, and hovers out over the muck-filled arena. A quick visual scan of the Autobots reveals that the Autobots have brought in a ringer; Rodimus Prime! Still, Redshift is no stranger to fighting the surviving Prime, and the small darts out to try and clip Rodimus with a quick wing-slice. "You have no chance, Autobots! Once Rodimus is defeated, victory will come to the Decepticons!"

 Motormaster says, "For once I agree with you, Breakdown! Even though their FEEBLE rules forbid the presence of Menasor, if we keep our heads we should OWN these wretches! Only the Prime is a threat to us!"

Combat: Red Spacecraft  sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Red Spacecraft  misses Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> with his wing slice attack! [Pulled -5]

The Junkion contingent is faithfully working the pits, awaiting those who need a few repairs or a boost in morale. Sit-Com oversees a few others. "C'mon Gar-Badge, get a move-on!" he says, "We have to be ready for when the casualties start rolling in. Ray-Dar! Get those wrenches out of their box! Kling-Or! For the last time you're not getting a Section 8!"

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "Th-thanks, Carjack! Just don't do any experimenting on my systems, I'm a finely tuned machine! And, and, we gotta watch those other Autobots, too, we can't let them blindside us!"

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "Maybe you can slip some battery acid in thier fuel if any Autobots come looking for a recharge?"

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Rest assured, if it wasn't for Lord Galvatron's insistance that the truce be maintained, I would do much worse to them!"

Mirage has arrived.

"Yes! Demolish the Prime! Rip him apart!" Motormaster booms, barely registering the impact of the foo dog against his fender. "Give them no quarter!" His diesel roars as he accelerates towards Rodimus, going through Keeper if he has to.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Temple Dog <Keeper> with his Ram attack!

White Lamborghini, hanging out in a corner of the arena, quietly shaking in a decidedly un-car-like fashion, chuckles to himself a bit at Redshift's words. "Hhheheheh," he chuckles under his breath, "You mean victory will come to the STUNTICONS!" A reporter's camera flashes as he takes a picture of Breakdown, and the spastic Decepticon yells, "AHHH!" and peals away, coincidentally as the announcer begins the match. He swerves wildly about the track until finally he remembers what he's supposed to be doing! "Oh, right, take out Rodisuck!" Powersliding around, tossing up a huge amount of mud, he aims himself at Rodimus Prime, and takes a cautious sideswipe at the RV. "Eat it, P-Prime!"

Combat: White Lamborghini sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: White Lamborghini misses Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> with his Crash attack! [Pulled -4]

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> stand as the lone Wrecker in this event.. how odd. The Jumpstarter shrugs, "Well.. "Wreck and rule!!" he yells as he flip transforms and igniting his turbines. The small oddly shaped hoversled goes darting across the arena of grossness, "Oh no you don't!" the Wrecker is going full bore at Redshift as the Decepticon tries to clip the Autobot leader. One full speed pontoon ram coming right up! And unluckily for the red Decepticon the little Jumpstarter can actually take to the skies so theres no escape.

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> misses Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Ram attack!

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "Oh, man, I missed! I gotta get away before he tries to return the favor!"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Don't let yourself get mired in the mud pit! Prime will crush you like an empty oilcan if you catch his eye!"

<Decepticon> Geo says, "So crush Prime like, uh... nevermind?"

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Oil Drum, since he's bigger and has a fatter aft."

Blue Sportscar <Clutch>'s engine kicks into life, front wheels locking while the rear spin wildly, churning up the mud. His back slides in a crescent across the muddy ground until the vehicle is pointed at the largest, toughest looking Decepticon vehicle. Three guesses who that might be. Releases the front brakes makes him lurch forward, roaring straight at Motormaster - no doubt to bounce off of his rear bumper.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Offensive Driving attack!

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "W-we just gotta whittle him down! He's not invincible! Just... just really tough!"

Seated directly below the booth, Stylor looks rather bored. His face plopped down into his hands, which are resting on his knees. How did Chromedome ever talk him into attending this over 'America's Next Top Model'. He wears his disgruntled demeanor on his face. "You better do something Mr. Genius!" Upon the announcement, the Nebulon turns around to laugh at the announcer. "And I thought Chromedome had no style!"

Turbo Car <Chromedome> revs his engines, waiting for the starting gun. When instead he signals the start by just merely announcing it, the Headmaster (minus the head) is caught unawares! Everyone dashes out before him, wrecking into eachother and causing mayhem. Not an expert in this 'field' of interest, Chromedome puts the pedal to the medal. <<I am well capable of hearing you while competing, Stylor.>> he reminds his partner, who's probably too busy trashtalking him to notice.

<Decepticon> Beastbox says, "Time and pressure. Time and pressure."

Combat: Chromedome takes extra time to aim his next attack.

Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> circles the outter edge of the pit, checking out the opposition, chosing his target carefully. He proves that even when driving in mud, he's still a damned manauverable motor home, and a quick swerve easily takes him out of the way of Redshift's quick slice. "It'll take a bigger mechanoid than you to take me out, Redshift," he shouts back. Breakdown's attack /does/ hit him, but glances off of Rodimus Prime's thick armor. "And if you want a chance of hurting me, you'll need to fight like you mean it!" he shouts, as he bounces off, then swerves right back towards Breakdown, ready to deliver a sideswipe of his own.

Combat: Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> misses White Lamborghini with his sideswipe with a lower-case 's' attack! [Pulled -5]

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "OH SH--HE TRIED TO GET ME!! AHHH!"

<Decepticon> Geo says, "Anyone have an oil slick ejector? Or better yet, a reverse-missile launcher?"

Carjack meanwhile remains standing in one of the pit areas, watching the derby as it gets underway. And eyeing the combatants a little too eagerly, wondering which one he's going to get to pick at while putting them back together... Oddly enough, he's actually -hoping- an Autobot is willing to ask help from him due to the rules, since then he can snoop at some of their systems for later use prehaps....

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Ramming attacks only. Alas"

<KNUJ> Sit-Com says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27FlXGA7R50"

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "A reverse-missile launcher.. what's it do, blow you up instead?"

Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> weaves in and out of the fray, his wheels swirvels left and right as he swerves out of the path of incoming traffic, "Sorry folks, as much as I'd love to meet and greet with the rest of you, I prefer that you folks not leave a lasting impression on my fenders just yet." With a loud engine roar, Mirage's vehicle form accelerates to the other end of the arena, his body frame shimmering cerulian blue momentarily before fading out of view, only leaving behind the dust and vaguely visible tracks behind in his wake.

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> activates his cloaking field and vanishes from sight!

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "He means that it fires behind you instead of forward"

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "Hey look, there's Mirage!"

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "Wait no, nevermind."

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Get behind me, Breakdown! Lead him this way!"

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "OKAY GET HIM OFF ME AHHH"

<KNUJ> Sit-Com says, "Penelope Pitstop should have put a hit out on the "Hooded Claw." After all, she was hanging out with the Mob."

<Decepticon> Carjack mmhmms. Possibly flicking through medical files via uplink to the faction databases. ".. Okay, freaking out like that is normal for him. Carry on!"

The announcer twirls a golden cane absently in one hand, noting, "And they're off to a roaring start! And some more subdued starts, too? Can we get a slow-mo replay of that vanish for the crowd?" They get a slow-mo replay. "Mmm-hm, those are some slick moves. And what's that a'chromed one up to? Better watch him, because he might just be watching you. Round two, fight!"

Temple Dog <Keeper> is by no means road kill when the Stunticon leader comes about to run him down to get to Rodimus Prime. The ehavy beast grunts with the impact as he trys to step aside and takes a glancing blow. "Watch your mudflaps, Motormaster. Boasting takes your mind off the road." The Temple Dog then weaves through the mayhem, choosing an opening his four legs can carry him to. He darts on the muddy ground using claws to grip and leaps at the big Red Spacecraft Redshift, knowing full well his target has an advantage of manueverability on his side.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> misses Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Leaping Lion-Dogs Redman! (Ram) attack!

<Decepticon> Geo says, "You're a Stunticon, use that forcefield in your fricking FRONT END AND SMASH HIM!"

"Hey, what the frag is THAT?" Redshift emits, as a weird blue SLED comes flying up at him. The red ship executes a swift barrel roll to one side, letting the hover-sled-thing pass. "What are you supposed to be, anyway? Flying tuning fork? Garbage scow? You can't just put your FEET behind your head and call is a transformation!" He quips at the Jumpstarter. Also some kind of giant dog comes leaping at him, but the red ship is already in motion on a new course. "I'll deal with YOU later, bow-wow!" Let Motormaster have Rodimus, Redshift has a new target! Redshift's engines flare, and propel the small ship forward to try and slam into Topspin.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> misses Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> with his Aerial Maneuvers attack! [Pulled -3]

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "It's not that easy!!! I gotta spin around and, and, you know, and build up enough speed, and--"

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Less excuses, more doing!"

<Decepticon> Geo says, "EXACTLY!"

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> plunges through the mud with eighteen wheels churning, in hot pursuit of Rodimus Prime. When Prime goes after Breakdown, Motormaster makes his move, but finds Clutch in his way! Motormaster's trailer fishtails a little as he turns into the impact and tries to spin out Clutch while continuing to pursue Prime.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Under my Wheels (Ram) attack!

White Lamborghini just flips his sh** when Rodimus tries to do the exact same thing he attempted on Rodimus! "AHHHHHH!" he screams, pealing away from Rodimus the *instant* the Autobot Leader so much as nudges towards him, but at the very least, he does remember to follow Motormaster's instructions. Pulling ahead of Rodimus, he attempts to ramp up off of Rodimus's weird front and straight through his windshield, then he pulls away and drives right at the Stunticon Leader! Is he trying to play chicken with his own boss? No! At the last second, Breakdown jinks to the right, and if Rodimus is still following, that should leave him wide open for his boss!

Combat: White Lamborghini strikes Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> with his Don't Follow Too Closely attack! [Pulled -3]

"Well this is a fine kettle of fish," Sit-Com says, inspecting the repair equipment, his voice sounding a little like Alan Alda's Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H. "Where's the 3 1/4 inch socket?" He digs through one of the other tool chests and finds it, along with a bottle of gin. "Was someone bringing this for Martini Checkers?" he asks.

"How could you pervert such a wholesome game as Checkers?" a clipped English voice says from out of nowhere.

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> goes cruising pass Redshift and skids to a halt in mid air and turns, "What? Oh.. you talking trash? Yeah.. I'm takin' out the trash.. and I see a big red pile of junk in front of me!!" His wtiny wing flaps adjust and the Jumpstarter ignites his engines and roars towards Redshift, "I'll put my legs ontop of YOUR head!!" Way to piss of the Wrecker by insulting his awesome altmode.

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Ram attack!

<Decepticon> Carjack aaaaaahs wistfully. "Stunticons in action. Best. Night. Ever. Can't wait to see someone blowing up!"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Dead End needs to stop waxing himself and get back here! He'll get his beatings one way or another!"

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "H-he probably didn't want to get all muddy!"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "I'll show him muddy!"

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> 's tires spin in the mud, then catch partially, sending him fishtailing out of the muck for a moment. Finally they grip on a patch of dry ground and he speeds away from Motormaster. "I need to rethink my strategy!" he calls out as he goes looking for a smaller target. Almost immediately he finds it as a flash of white races in front of him. "One Stunticon's as good as another," he announces before pouring on the speed.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes White Lamborghini with his Offensive Driving attack!

<<Worry not Rodimus Prime, I am well capable of delivering sufficient physical harm to the Stunticon nuissance!>> Turbo Car <Chromedome> emits, fish tailing around Clutch and headed straight for Breakdown's other side.

"Aw come on, you're not even doing anything! Why'd you have to drag me to this boring event anyways, if you're just sitting in lame mode.. I don't have to be around!" Stylor laments from the bleachers.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes White Lamborghini with his Objects In Mirror... attack! [Pulled -1]

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "GAH! See, I told you we have to watch the other Autobots!"

<Decepticon> Geo says, "Screw the rules, just transform and shoot them1"

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Lord Galvatron insists on the truce being maintained, or they probably would."

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "But then we can't WIN and prove how awesome we are."

Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> gets a lamborghini through the windshield, shattering it spectacularly but doing relatively little damage to the Prime. If he had had any passengers how, though, he'd be /pissed/. He chases after Breakdown. He can see the strategy coming a mile away, but this time he doesn't care. A head on collission between him and Motormaster sometime during the night was pretty much inevitable, and Rodimus embraces it, attempting to drive right into the semi. "Good job, guys!" he shouts to Chromedone and Clutch as they sandwich the escaping Stunticon, just before impacting with Motormaster... or slipping right by him?

Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> makes a half a donut turn, his rear end dragging along as it fights against the inertia. For the time being, the invisible formula one car has relocated to the eastern end of the arena while all manners of vehicles, from normal cars, oversized trailer park cars, tractor trailers, and even spacecrafts are crashing into each other or swirving out of harms way in elaborate manners. Mirage continues to observe the situation carefully, his engines constantly revving at ready as he waits for an opportune moment to strike.

Combat: Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Head On Collision attack! [Pulled -2]

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "NO! Loss to an Autobot by these rediculous rules is a better fate, than facing the fury of Lord Galvatron."

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "and a RAMMING competition is something I'M good at! I intend to murder these sheet-metal autocars and reign supreme! The Stunts probably have something similar in mind."

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Keep watch for Mirage! I hear that overtuned four-cylinder around here somewhere!"

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "I don't see him! Is he invisible!? THAT'S CHEATING!"

<Decepticon> Geo says, "THEN FREAKING RAM THEM, REDSHIFT. HIT HIS WHEEL WELL!"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Exactly, Breakdown! He could be anywhere! Hiding, lurking... WATCHING YOU, and you wouldn't... even... know. The only thing to do is KILL HIM."

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "D-d-don't do that, you're freaking me out!"

<Decepticon> Geo says, "DRIVE FASTER AND HARDER MOTORMASTER. CRUSH PRIME LIKE HE WAS HUFFER! Oh, wait, WE ALREADY KILLED HIM!"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Get ahold of yourself! And keep your sensors peeled! He'll reveal himself soon, and then you can demolish him!"

Combat: Carjack runs a diagnostic check on White Lamborghini

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "WHO DID THAT"

Temple Dog <Keeper> lands on all fours in the mud missing his slippery target. His broad paws make easy work of keeping his footing in the maleable surface, and his optics hunt for a desireable target. The sounds of winnebago and kenworth meeting draws his attention, and Keeper leaps and bounds across the field looking to make a scaley impression with his shoulder into the side of Motormaster.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Stay off the shoulder (Ram) attack!

<Decepticon> Geo says, "Stupid Autoclods. They're cheating, using invisibility1"

Red Spacecraft <Redshift> isn't so lucky this time, as Topspin collides with him, sending the sleek red ship tumbling! The Decepticon spacer crashes into the muck that fills the arena, sending up a splash of brown slime as he skids to a halt. "NOW look what you've done! I'm FILTHY! Are you happy!" Redshift shouts, as the muddy spacejet takes off again, trying to crash into the hoversled and send HIM into the muck.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> strikes Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> with his Full Speed Ahead attack!

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "HA! That's what that stupid sled gets for crashing me!"

Far be it from Motormaster to shrink away from a head-on collision, even if it is with an RV instead of a proper tractor-trailer. "Prime! So GOOD to see you!" Motormaster lets out a hollow laugh utterly without humor, and lines up his chrome grill with Rodimus'. "I would've given you a PROPER greeting earlier, but your minions have been foolishly throwing themselves in my way!" Even as he says this, in fact, a monsterbot bounces off the corrugated side of his trailer. "Let's find out who is the King of the Mud Pit!" He charges into the head-on collision with Prime... but which of the two will come out the better for it?

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> with his SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY (Ram) attack!

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Ahhh, that felt good. Now, where is that crawling traitor Mirage."

Sit-Com sits on a lawn-chair once all the equimpent is set up, drinking a long tall iced antifreeze. It's relaxing, watching the others get all muddy and dented. He also listens to the M*A*S*H theme playing on his wrist-TV.

Some of the other Junk-gumbies have a tent set up, an open-air version of a M*A*S*H living quarters tent. Sit-Com groans. "That won't do for surgeries! And where's the powerwasher? We'll be up to our elbows in mud working on these guys!"

White Lamborghini gets sandwiched between two Autobot cars! "GAHHH!" he yells. "Ganging up on me, huh!? And where is your little pal, Mirage, huh!? HE'S WATCHING ME ISN'T HE!?!?" He tears away from the two Autobots, powerslides about, then charges ahead at Chromedome, attempting to hit his front fender at an angle and send him spinning around!

Combat: White Lamborghini sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: White Lamborghini misses Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Crash attack!

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> is busy laugh as Redshift gets knocked into the muck. Perhaps he was enjoying the moment a bit much, cuz he might of had the presence of mind to move out of the dirtied red spaceship's way.. alas *CRASH* the blow is ough, sending chunks of the Jumpstarter's armor everywhere and the little hoversled goes spiralling out of control towards the arena floor. Luckily for him, there is a. uh.. dog to break his fall?

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> strikes Temple Dog <Keeper> with his Ram attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> speeds towards one edge of the mud-filled area and then spins around in a sliding turn, sending mud and sludge spraying out in a wide arc behind him. He pauses there for a moment, engine revving a few times, as if surveying the action. Then he peels out, quickly building up speed and momentum. Halfway towards the concentration of ground vehicles, there's a tremendous WHOOOOSH noise that can be heard even over the sound of the engines roaring everywhere around, and he somehow launches into the air at Redshift's flying form - now the only flier in the air.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Offensive Dr H HFlying attack!

"Hey, watch out!" Stylor calls from the sidelines, when Breakdown comes around powersliding for Chromedome's fender! Slamming on the breaks, the hacker whips around in reverse and narrowly avoids the collision. <<I thank you for the adequate and beneficial information Stylor, but must you yell?>> Keeping it in reverse, Chromedome aims the rearend for Breakdown's side door.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> misses White Lamborghini with his *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* attack!

Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> bounces off of Motormaster and back. His hood is now dented, pushed back a little, but the damage isn't extensive. "You know what, Motormaster? You want to be king of mud, you go right ahead!" he shouts as he pulls forward again, now trying to move /past/ Motormaster before swerving towards his side in a swipe.

Combat: Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> misses Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Another Swipe to the Side That Is Not Sideswipe attack! [Pulled -5]

Various vehicles slams into each other for Mirage to see as he stays an invisible spectator to the mayhem going on in front of him. Some parts of him is reluctant to enter the fray, however all reservations are thrown to the winds as he witnesses an opportunity unveil itself to him. Suddenly his transmission shifts and gears locks into place as he accelerates towards his target, weaving out of the path of Motormaster who collides against Rodimus Prime. "Sorry Breakdown, but I have more exotic tastes than a rubber burner like you." He speeds on towards his intended target, the midget spacecraft!

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "No offense, Motormaster, but you've taken a lot of hits! Maybe you should get patched up?"

Combat: Suddenly, Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> appears out of fat air!

Combat: Sneak Attack!!

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Ram attack! [Pulled -1]

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "It's nothing! Only one of these Autobots is even a small concern to me!"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "There he IS! Crush Mirage, grind him under your wheels!"

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "I-it'll be a pleasure!"

The announcer is just about to sip a martini when the invisible man makes his appearance. He snaps his fingers, teeth gleaming, and he notes, "Now /that/ is stylin'. Classy, even. We can't be having that! Time to break out the Jell-O." Six Lasers staffers roll huge barrel drums of red Jell-O onto the field, as directed.

Temple Dog <Keeper> is just turning around after giving the Kenworth a nudge when down comes Topspin, cradle and all. His legs give out and down he goes belly flopping into the mud. pushing himself up, he rolls the Hovercar off his back and grumbles in that deep voiced french accent, "That was unfortunate. Try to keep your bearings from now on." He flick-shakes each of his legs in turn, making a little mud fly off his limbs before bounding back into the fray... and being muddy, his instincts subtly direct him to take off after the pristine white Lamborghini Breakdown. He charges and lowers his head, looking to hit the car low and from the side to make it roll, or at least skid and kick up lots of mud.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> strikes White Lamborghini with his Mud Dogging (Ram) attack!

A blue sportscar comes flying up to knock Redshift out of the sky, the red ship suffering a bent wing that makes him an easy target for Mirage's devastating crash! The Ligier slams into Redshift's frame, crumpling Redshift's durable armor like it was mere paper, and sending the spacer careening across the arena. "Yeeeeaaaaaaaagh!" He emits and he flies uncontrollably, landing in the muck at Carjack's feet. Convenient! "YOU! Car person! Fix me!"

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> whips around Rodimus, blue diesel smoke chugging from his stacks as he accelerates, bearing down on Mirage. The delicate, precision racing machine's spoiler logo can be clearly made out in Motormaster's gleaming chromium grill as the brute looms behind him. "You should've STAYED hidden, COWARD!" Motormaster booms, giving a blast on his horn. "Breakdown, to me!"

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> with his Earnhardt'd! (Ram) attack!

White Lamborghini just tears away from Chromedome the moment that he realizes he missed the Autobot, yelling, "OH CRAP!" so by the time Chromedome has shifted into reverse, Breakdown is LONG gone. Sadly, though, he succeeds only in driving right into Keeper's headbutt, and is flipped into the air! Fortunately, though, he lands on his tires, and immediately speeds away from the Monsterbot, yelling profanities all the way.

That's when he finally sees Mirage, but what really sets him off is when he HEARS Mirage. "OH YEAH!?" Breakdown says, pulling up alongside Motormaster. "We'll see how exotic you are when I've pounded you to scrap, Mirage! Make you pay for sneaking around--I FREAKING HATE YOU!" And he guns his engines hard, attempting to slam right into Mirage's side and into one of the pit's sidewalls!

Combat: White Lamborghini sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: White Lamborghini strikes Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> with his Crash attack! [Pulled -2]

Carjack erps, stepping to the side as Redshift comes careening through the mud, more so to not get scrunched in the process. The mud, he doesn't really care about. "Finally, I was getting bored!" Once Redshift actually comes to a stop Carjack trots over, and gives him a kick to get him back on his.. bottom section, lacking wheels. The smaller dents are ignored, favoring instead of bend that wing back into place and weld shut the more obvious openings so he doesn't get mud somewhere it doesn't belong. "Now get back out there and show em what you can really do!"

Combat: Carjack quickly patches up some of Red Spacecraft <Redshift>'s minor injuries.

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> mutters, "I hate Decepticons." the little Wrecker gets himself ready for another go. But his screens are all cracked and muddied up so he can't see anything anyways. Instead he hovers his little opntoons over to the pit creew and pulls into the Junkion station.

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

<<You dimwitted Decepticons, ganging up on a fellow Autobot! Have you no manners? Wait, don't answer that.>> Turbo-Car <Chromedome> emits, building up speed once he's lined up a bead on Breakdown. Then barrels of Jell-O start bouncing around the place, forcing the hacker to swerve and throwing his AIM for a loop.

Combat: Chromedome takes extra time to aim his next attack.

Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> mutters a few whispered curses as Motormaster gets past him. Then, when he sees just who the Stunticons /are/ focusing on, he shouts, "Mirage!" He starts to pull around to chase after Motormaster. "Get back here and pick on someone your own si- yow!" And then he slips in the Jell-O. As manuverable as he is, he really was never made for rolling around in Jell-O, and quite unintentionally he slides towards Chromedome, who's chasing after Breakdown just as Rodimus is chasing after Motormaster. "Chromedome, look out!" he shouts, but it may be too late...

Combat: Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> misses Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Jell-O Slide attack! [Pulled -6]

An announcement over some loudspeakers at the Junkion's pit tent says, "Now hear this. Now hear this. Choppers arriving. All doctors scrub up and suit up. Incoming wounded."

Sit-Com directs Topspin into the repair area and he and the gumbies start work. "We'll have you out of here and shooting at North Koreans in no time," he quips.

Combat: Sit-Com quickly patches up some of Blue Hovercraft <Topspin>'s minor injuries.

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "C-carjack, I'm taking a beating here, I think I'll pull in after you're done with Redshift!"

Combat: Sit-Com runs a diagnostic check on Blue Hovercraft <Topspin>

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Come one and all into my stall, I'll keep you runnin' as long as possible."

Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> goes into full reverse as he hears Motormaster's booming voice in the distance and forcibly goes into a turn, spinning the nose of his body frame around just a few seconds shy of being run over by the Stunticon commander. "Well gee, ever heard of the word irony, Motormaster?" The blue speedster shifts gears once more as it attempts to move forward before he's promptly collided into by Breakdown, sending thinly plated metal all over the place, and Mirage himself into a spin, "Gah. Somehow getting your thugs to help you out just doesn't scream courageous either." Mirage turns around and begins heading towards the pit stop as well, "Hey, try to make it look better than before will ya?"

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Temple Dog <Keeper> finds himself bouncing off the hood of a Blue Sportscar, another Autobot out of nowhere. When he lands on the other side in the disappearing tracks in the oozing mud and mashed Jell-O, Keeper looks up and sees it was Clutch. His big optics narrow as muck drips down his face and mane. "Am I a clumsy-magnet?" He picks himself up, rotates his leg-hip joints, shakes his tail, and then backs off to the far edge of the arena to gather himself for a moment, keeping a lookout for any intentional as well as unintentional collissions coming his way.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Red Spacecraft <Redshift> is duly patched up by the Decepticon medical staff, and afer taking a second to check his hull integrity readings, the meters rising back to acceptable levels again. It seems the muck is confusig some of the competition, with some Autobots attacking each other, but this red ship won't be fooled; He knows exactly who he'll be gunnin' for next. Hover-boosters and jet thrusters send Redshift up and over the slop-filled arena. The distinctive formula-1 car is easy to pick out now that it isn't INVISIBLE, and Redshift dives down to try to take Mirage out of the bout.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> misses Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> with his Revenge is best served MUDDY! attack!

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> blows past Mirage as Breakdown takes him from the side, enjoying a dark satisfaction. "Don't confuse cowardice with CUNNING, my little porcelain doll!" he rumbles cruelly at Mirage. Motormaster takes a lap to circle the track and look for other targets to pick up, staying close to the wall to try to avoid the worst of the jello hazards. "Redshift, get your sorry fuselage back out there and finish off Topspin! Are you going to let people say you got beat by a DWARF riding his OWN GROIN? Because if you give up now that's what I'm going to tell everyone!"

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> inspires Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with righteous and terrifying words!

White Lamborghini snaps, "Shut up, Mirage, y-you spent half the match invisible, so... shut up!" Pulling away from Motormaster, he accelerates towards Carjack's pit stop, and comes to to a sliding stop, throwing mud up everywhere. "Okay, quick, before they get me!" he tells the medic, though his jittery, shaking form suggests he might tear away at the first sign of danger.

Combat: White Lamborghini sets his defense level to Guarded.

The announcer rubs his chin, sipping his martini thoughtfully, and then he flourishes a hand, saying, "You know, for a demolition derby, this has been oddly... bloodless. Prolly because these machines don't /bleed/. So let's have some skin on the planetoid of sin!"

Six Lasers staffers throw a terrified-looking stripper into the Jell-O and mud pit. She struggles, trying to get out of the mire before one of the giant alien robots in disguise mows her down.

Combat: White Lamborghini takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

"Come on you clowns, we got another one!" Sit-COm says, as Mirage heads in to the repair station. "So, let's see, the U-joint's connected to the Y-joint..."

Combat: Sit-Com quickly patches up some of Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage>'s minor injuries.

"Keep it invisible-side-up!" Sit-Com calls after Mirage when the patient exits the pitstop.

Carjack is gonna be a busy medic tonight! Considering he's also going to have to fix these people up afterwards too. Oh well, he likes Stunticons and Redshift is decent enough, so it's all good in the end. As soon as Redshift is done and on his way he hurries over as Breakdown pulls up, taking out his welder and getting some new plates over the larger damages. And ductaping a corner of his bumper back to his frame. It doesn't look very elegant, but it'll do. No point in fixing them up too much when they're going to smash each other apart afterwards.

"Now go out there and kick some asphalt!" Same he doesn't actually have an inspiring ability. Oh well. He can still cheer.

Combat: Carjack quickly patches up some of White Lamborghini <Breakdown>'s minor injuries.

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> roars out of the Junkion's pit crew station, "Thanks!!" the Jumpstarter calls back as tool land everywhere. He bursts forth from the little pit stop area and back into the disgusting muck of mud, pudding, jello. He scans the area and spots his target. Yup, the little Wrecker is going after the biggest target in this place.. Rodimus Prime, no really its the big black 18 wheeled bringer of pain. The hoversled is fully intent on ramming his ponton up the Stinticon's you know whats!

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Ram attack!

"Sorry!" Clutch calls out to Keeper. Wipers activate and form two wedge-shaped clear spots on his winshield. "Gotta get out of this gunk, I can't steer worth slag in here...hope these things still work!" His tires rotate in until each is nearly vertical. Small ports iris open in the center of each hubcap and emit the telltale glow of Autobot hover-jets. Small jets of flame lick from his tailpipes from rounded tail-lights to give him forward movement - now just a few feet ABOVE the treacherous Jell-O'd ground. Quickly gathering speed, he sees Redshift at low altitudes this time. "That's gonna cost you!" He promises, trying to accelerate and clip the Decepticon before he can pull into the air once again.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Stay In The Air! attack!

Jell-O gumbed up in the wheel wells, Chromedome can't help but spin out as Rodimus Prime starts sliding towards him. <<Rodimus, sir. Are you quite capable of controlling your bulk?>> he questions, growing worried about the impending collision. But his tires hit a patch of ground, and send him shooting forward at Motormaster.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> misses Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Jell-O Be Damned! attack!

Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> had just recovered from his slide and starts to circle the outer edges of the pit "Yes, Chromedome," he answers, annoyed. "I'm able to control my fat ass." He would complain about the Matrix giving him more junk in the trunk, but considering that junk includes a big-ass cannon, he supposes he shouldn't complain too much.

Like Motormaster, Rodimus is once more looking for a target, and no doubt he would have zeroed in on Motormaster, had a terrified stripper not been suddenly thrown into the field. "HEY!" he shouts, suddenly changes direction to drive towards the mud-covered, scantily clad woman. He pulls near her and transforms, skidding in the mud as he lands on his feet. He snatches up the woman and holds her protectively, then shouts up at staff members. "What the hell are you people doing?! Are you INSANE?!"

Doesn't transforming disqualify the Prime?

Winnebago <Rodimus Prime> transforms into his Robot mode.

Combat: Rodimus Prime takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Damn and blast that Prime! I wanted to crush the stripper myself!"

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "HEY! RODIMUS TRANSFORMED! HES CHEATING"

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "W-woah, Rodimus transformed! Hahaha, no, this is great, he's disqualified now! Trashing the other Autobots should be EASY!"

<Decepticon> Carjack says, ".... Good point"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Don't get cocky, Breakdown! That bestial monstrosity is still on the field, and Mirage is a danger as long as he's still in one piece!"

Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> is dropped to the ground with a thump as the pit-crew pulls away the last jack that's lifting the bulk of his body up, "Fancy juryrigging there, Sit-Com." The blue forumla one race car spots the vengeful red spacecraft barreling towards him like a meteor and promptly revs up his engines, causing his tires to burn rubber against the floor as it gains traction, "I'd love to stay and chat but common sense is telling me to make haste and leave no tracks behind." With a vroom, Mirage launches out of the pit-stop and fades out of a view again before Redshift can get close enough.

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> activates his cloaking field and vanishes from sight!

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "Speaking of--HE'S GONE! AHH!"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Double damn! Where is Dead End?!"

Temple Dog <Keeper> narrows his optics, giving the announcer a glare of death before instinctively bounding off towards the fleshling stripper thrown into the arena. Ah, but he should have known Rodimus Prime would already be on it.... disqualifying himself no less. "Such valor..." he says admirably, and then turns his attentions back to the competetors, namely the juggernaut that is the now unmatched Motormaster. Keeper leaps over Jell-O barrels, splashes through mud, and steers between the paths of the others as he guns for the Kenworth.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> misses Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Ain't Nothing But The Dog In Me (Ram) attack!

Again the sportscar blindsides Redshift, crumpling his flank and threatening to knock Redshift back onto the sludgy muck below. Instead he puts on extra thrust to launch himself upwards, from where he sees Rodimus's game-breaking actions! "HA! Foolish Prime, now you've ensured VICTORY for us!" He emits, and laughs triumphantly, while coming crashing down upon Clutch's car mode.

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Who cares, if you crush the other ones he's not gonna be able to do much on his own!"

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> strikes Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Full Speed Ahead attack! [Pulled -2]

The announcer cries out, "Oh, too bad, so sad! Rodimus Prime, will you leave the pit? Or will we have to DRAG you out?" He sounds like he'd like a fight, actually. He winks. "And just leave the girl in the stands, thanks, she's still on the clock."

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> was headed straight for that stripper, having had an idea to drive the Autobots to distraction and possibly make them less effective warriors by splattering the insignificant squirming thing into roadkill. But then Prime transforms to snatch it up before Motormaster can crush it, and that changes the field quite a bit. Topspin bangs into his trailer, followed by Keeper's wild sliding lunge, and that puts Motormaster in a thoughtful mood. Who to crush? Why not the thinker of the Autobot group? He looks like he's got a glass jaw. Motormaster turns into the mud and punches the throttle, splashing across the center of the derby field to try to run down Chromedome in a vicious T-boning.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Totally T-Boned! (Ram) attack!

White Lamborghini <Breakdown> yells, "Thanks, Carjack!" after the cursory repairs are done. Gosh, he's awful nice for a Stunticon, even though his back tires do spray mud at the medic as he tears out like a bat out of hell. He looks about for an Autobot to smash when he spies Rodimus "foolishly" stopping to save the stripper's life! "Hahaha, good one, Prime!" Breakdown mocks, making sure to catch him with a spray of mud and Jell-O, too. "You know they mass-produce those strippers, right? Now you know, hahaha!" Circling around the Prime, he guns his engines again and bears right down on Topspin! "Hey, lay off of Motormaster, Autobot!"

Combat: White Lamborghini <Breakdown> strikes Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> with his Crash attack! [Pulled -4]

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> alreadyy bend his poor pontoons on Motormaster's fenmder and then he's blindsided by Breakdown. The little Wrecker goes skidding along the muck but not before he pulls off an amazing fishtail manuever which allows him to quickly readjust his position, "Why you dirty little Stunticon.. I'm going to wreck all over your face!" and throwing caution to the wind. The Jumpstarter kicks his turvbines on full and goes rocketing towards the white lambo, "Ruuuuuuuuule!" he screams. Fortunately for him since he's a hoversled the terrain doesn't really effect his traction.

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> strikes White Lamborghini <Breakdown> with his Ram attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> gets smashed back down towards the Jello by the much quicker Redshift. "Nnnh! "Rodimus isn't the only one you need to worry about!" Seeing the Jell-O speeding by below, Clutch siezes onto a bizarre idea. He intentionally lets his front end dip, the bumper digging into the Jell-O and then causing him to fly up into the air in a wild tumbling arc. But while his motion is seemingly completely out of control, he is arcing up and over towards Redshift.

"Get a private garage for that sort of thing, geez!" Carjack bellows from the pits in response to Topspin's bizarre choice of insults. "Ugh, dirty little pervert Wreckers."

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his This is Why People Love NASCAAR attack!

Turbo Car <Chromedome> misses his mark, but manages to evade the counter ram all the while. Hitting another patch of the deadly gelatinous substance, he's sent into a spiral and out of control. <<Not again!>>

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his CURSE YOU BILL COSBY! attack! [Pulled -2]

Rodimus Prime glares up at the announcer, optics narrowed. "I'm leaving," he says angrily, "if only to make sure you idiots don't throw any /more/ people in." He stands stoicly as Breakdown sprays mud and Jell-O over him, once again holding the stripper protectively before making his way towards the edges of the pit. He pulls himself up and into the stands, ignoring the Decepticon taunting - in the end, these games are not worth anyone's life!

<Autobot> Clutch says, "Nice one Rodimus!" *clang* "I don't know if any Autobot has ever --" *CRASH* "--rescued a stripper before!"

<Autobot> Keeper says, "Check Powerglide's records to be sure."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "Hell, I'd be surprised if Kup didn't have a story or two."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire can be heard giggling.

There's a trail of muck being thrown all over the place in the middle of the arena but with no vehicle to show for it? Or is there? Well everyone knows it's really just Mirage driving around like the cheap shifty bastard that he is and he realizes that too.

There's a shimmering blue hue of cerulian light, and where one might've expected a formula-1 race car to arrive, it is instead a large glossy black Kenworth K100 Aerodyne truck that pops out instead behind Breakdown, "Hey! Look out behind! Ha hah!" Yep, it's Mirage feigning a disguise with a killer voice over to boot, but when he pops in so suddenly can anyone really tell the fake from the real McCoy?

Combat: Suddenly, Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> appears out of thin air!

Combat: Sneak Attack!!

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> strikes White Lamborghini <Breakdown> with his Ram attack!

Sit-Com powerwashes himself off after taking care of the latest filthy customer. He notices a derelict sofa at the edge of the pit crew. A thumping noise alerts him. *POOM-POOM. POOM-POOM. *POOM-POOM* And he whispers, "CHicken heart!" He sets the sofa on fire. Luckily there's jello and pudding smeared all over the track. "Get outta here, Chicken Heart! You won't come near smoke and fire and Jell-O!"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "So...you rescued a stripper, chief?"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire sounds unusually interested.

Temple Dog <Keeper> skid-slides to a halt as the truck accelerates away for another target. He bumps into a Jell-O barrel and knocks it over. Somewhere, a starving nation weeps. The monsterbot modelled after a guardian lion dog turns away from it, having no concept that that gelatonous substance could be considered food, and trots after a different target... he leaps after the red spacecraft Redshift for a headbutting.

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "That little CHEAT! He's disguising himself as US! You'd better make VERY sure of your targets from here on out!"

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "Yeah. Got me disqualified from the demolition derby, though."

<Autobot> Colonel Nate Briar says, "Rodimus Prime and a stripper?"

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> misses Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his A Face Full Of Cobalt (Ram) attack!

The stripper huddles against Rodimus Prime and coos in a breathy voice, "Ooooh, you big, strong robot! My hero! You know, there's this car wash down at the intersection of Hard Road and Long..."

It's probably a brainwashing carwash.

Meanwhile, Six Lasers staffers, having run out of Jell-O, start dumping vanilla pudding into the area. Ratings spike, but for all the wrong reasons.

<Autobot> Chromedome says, "Some acts are worth more than petty medals, sir."

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Indeed!"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "That's why I like you, boss."

Rodimus Prime eyes the stripper warily. "I'll, uhm, keep that in mind." He's certainly dirty, what with all the mud and jell-o! But at least he manages to avoid the pudding. "But I think I'll stick around here a little longer."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "And now she's inviting me to a carwash. For some reason, though, I've got a bad feeling about it."

<Autobot> Specialist Mirage says, "Well, I'd say you might not want to get caught around with that femme in the public for too long, that's for sure."

<Autobot> Chromedome |Stylor says, "Yeah, even I agree that hooker around your neck looks more stylish than some medal!"

<Autobot> Patchwork says, "Who's going to a carwash?"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Why doesn't anyone ever invite the fox to those things?"

Red Spacecraft <Redshift> feels glad he's been such a threat he needs TWO Autobot cars to come crashing into him, although his armor certainly isn't holding up to the punishment. Clutch slams into Redshift's engines, sending him into the path of Chromedome, who sends Redshift nose-first into the muck. The rough field-repairs Carjack made have been undone by the combined efforts of Clutch and Chromedome. "If I could use my BOMBS you'd both be toast!" He snaps, before blastig his jets and trying to skip across the muddy floor towards Clutch again!

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Full Speed Ahead attack! [Pulled -4]

<Autobot> Keeper says, "Perhaps for future events, we should try to impose a new rule on the Galactic Olympic comitee that no sentient life forms may be used against their will?"

"You DARE?!" Motormaster bellows, throwing the wheel over and skidding through the mud as he spots himself of all people in his rear view mirrors, and attacking his own team member! "You've gone too far, Mirage! I'm going to beat you back into your proper place... GROVELLING on your KNEES!" Gears grind and mud flies as Motormaster plunges through the muck after the hologram.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> with his Dare! Dare to believe you can survive being rammed by Motormaster! (Ram) attack!

White Lamborghini <Breakdown> yells, "Wha--MOTORMASTER!?" Then he gets slammed by Mirage, flipping around in the air, and when he lands in a clump of vanilla pudding, he's a little disoriented! He does, however, see the actual Motormaster, and while he can't remember how Motormaster got over *there* all of a sudden, he does look a little steamed. "M-M-Motormaster! You.. you! We were supposed to wait until after we trashed the Autobots before we turned on each other! You really tick me off sometimes!!!" And he launches himself at Motormaster's cab from the side! Does he manage to hear Motormaster's transmission in time to realize his mistake and pull away, or will Breakdown earn Motormaster's ire?

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "What? OH C--"

Combat: White Lamborghini <Breakdown> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Crash attack! [Pulled -3]

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Breakdown, you fool! Not me, the OTHER Motormaster! The one that just rammed you!"

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "I... I... I thought--"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "No thinking! Don't think! Only kill!"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "I'll tell you when to think!"

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "Y-yes sir!"

<Autobot> Sit-Com says, "Pudding, pudding!"

<Autobot> Saboteur Foxfire says, "Pudding?"

Gar-Badge walks towards Sit-Com and goes *zip-boom* slipping on some Jello. "What the hell's the sofa doing on fire?"

"To scare away the chicken heart!"

"What chicken heart are you talking about?"

"The one on the radio!"

"Ya idjit, turn it off."

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> is in pretty rough shape. The little Wrecker has loads of armor missing and his pontonns have been used as battering rams for so long that they're both all crumpled up against the body of the hoversled. He does a systems check and its not looking so good for our soloe Wrecker, "WRECK N RULE!!!!" he screams as his turbines ignite and his rockets blast at full speed, "Ramming speeeeeed!" If he's going to go down, he's fully intent on taking a Decepticon and with as mucvh damage as his systems has taken.. Aiming for the biggest target would give him the highest chance of hitting. The Jumpstarter takes to the air dripping mud and whatever other gross things are on the ground. He flies in a high arch with his intended landing spot being Motormaster's windshield!

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> misses Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Ram attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> is falling to the ground when Redshift streaks after him, yet Clutch is still tumbling erraticly and this somehow causes him avoid the high-speed attack. Part of his vehicle mode targetted spins out of the way at just the right time, and an instant later Redshift has flashed by. But there's no avoiding the surface coated with mud, Jell-O, now vanilla pudding. And no avoiding the fact that once Clutch lands he's almost right in front of Breakdown. With wheels unable to get any traction, all Clutch can do is brace himself and hope it doesn't hurt. Much.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes White Lamborghini <Breakdown> with his Speed Bump (Ram) attack!

Turbo Car <Chromedome> pulls to the far side of the huge arena, not entirely enthused at getting stuck in pudding instead of Jell-O. <<Why must these Olympic games be so eccentric? Strippers, Jell-O, pudding? What's next, little walking time bombs??>> The Headmaster draws a line of sight on his next target.

Combat: Chromedome takes extra time to aim his next attack.

Fender meets fender as the illusionary black truck collides against the white lamborghini, but instead of the smaller car being crushed under the sheer mass of the truck it is bounced away instead. The answer quickly reveals itself as the form of the black truck destablizes and warps in multi-colour under the impact, it's a hologram! A darn good hologram. Underneath that hologram is the much hated shifty blue bastard, Mirage.

The Autobot counter-intelligence specialist isn't given much time to enjoy his success though as the real Motormaster proves to be unamused about being impostered. It's a real sight to behold at the moment as a (much speedier) black truck is being chased by another black truck through out the arena, "Hey now, don't you know that imitation is the best form of flattery?" There's still plenty of room in the arena and Mirage makes use of it by going full throttle, outpacing his pursuer while leaving nothing but a trail of muck behind. Unfortunately that also pretty much also takes him out of the vicinity of everyone else. His holographic disguise fades away, leaving behind his original vestige.

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Temple Dog <Keeper> sneers at the runners of this event as the pudding is thrown in. "What is the matter with these people? Disgusting." Keeper gingerly lifts a vanilla coated paw up to see it drip off. He then puts it out of his mind and makes a heading for Redshift again.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Dog Will Hunt (Ram) attack!

The big dog-machine slams into Redshift, crumpling one of his scythe-like wings. "Filthy bast! You'll pay for that!" He emits as he pulls up, his systems out of whack and his fuel tanks dangerously low. "Carjack, I need some more FUEL!" He add, and the battered red ship wobbles over to Carjack's side of the arena.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

"You don't DESERVE to flatter me, you crawling little thief!" Motormaster replies, putting on the gas and leaving the edge of the arena, bumping down into the muck. He turns wide and cuts across the mud/jello/pudding to try to catch up to the significantly faster Mirage. "I'll drive that thought out of your head if I have to beat it out of your brain with my fists!"

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> with his Shortcut to Brutality (Ram) attack!

White Lamborghini <Breakdown> peels away from Motormaster. "I.. I didn't mean to! The Autobot tricked me!" he complains, but he has little time to make excuses as Clutch slides into him! "WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?" he screams, spinning around wildly in a panic, unable to get away, and possibly smacking Clutch in the process!

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> isn't surprised that he completely missed Motormaster and landed in a huge pile of jello. His sensors are so on the fritz that he can barely tell up from down. The little Jumpstarter just isnt built for this sort of rough housing. He gets his sensors back online just long enough for him to figure out which way the pit crew is. He burns up whatevers left of his energon supply to float his mangled and smoking carvass to the Junkion's pit station, "ding, ding.. repairs required and try to make it snappy. I got some Decepticons to wreck."

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Combat: White Lamborghini <Breakdown> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Crash attack! [Pulled -2]

Carjack doesn't bother with his little injector for this matter as he tromps up, sloshing through the mud. And still dripping with the mud/jello/pudding he was slopped with when Breakdown took out of the pit, but doesn't really care. Instead he opens a spot in his chest connected to his main spare tank inside, and plugs the nozzle into Redshift to give him a good strong 'drink'. "Just keep givin' it until you ain't got any more to give. They ain't gonna hold out forever."

Combat: Carjack deploys his reserve energon tank.

Combat: Carjack refuels Red Spacecraft <Redshift>'s energon reserves.

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> finally manages to make some progress through the sludge by driving through the tracks made by the wheels of other contestants. Using Breakdown's trail first to pull away from the Stunticon, he quickly reaches a point where it intersects an even larger path. So deep and wide it must have been made by a truly large vehicle. With multiple sets of wheels. "Now we're talkin'!" Clutch enthuses, and pours on the speed, racing down the veritable road Motormaster's passage has created. He quickly catches up to the source of the trail, just as he brutalizes Mirage. "Let's see how you like it!" he barks, adding a few (small and high-pitched) honks of his horn for emphasis.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his 3-Car Pileup attack!

Shooting forth like a cannon ball, Turbo-Car <Chromedome> aims to pin Breakdown into the wall for some serious damage. Rolling through pudding piles here and there, the Headmaster is mostly undeterred from his course, <<Time to put you back into the scrap metal pile you stepped out of!>>

Nerds aren't any good at threatening. :(

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes White Lamborghini <Breakdown> with his Wall Pinning! attack!

"Well, of course I never meant to flatter you intentionally but I did hope it was enough to get you off my back." Mirage comments as he continues to speed through the arena, that is until his wheels on the right hand side gets caught in a slight ditch which results in him crashing into a ditch of muck. The blue formula one race car's wheels sprays out muck all over the place but is unable to remove itself from the muddy ditch and is promptly hit in the rear by the pursing black truck. "Ugh!" The race car swirvels around defensively before making an approach at its aggressor, "You know, I'd actually welcome you to punch me here and now. It'd save me a whole lot of trouble with you disqualified too."

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Ram attack!

Temple Dog <Keeper> perks his metal ears. "Hrm. Bast you say?" He headshakes as Redshift makes a pit stop. He decides that this is an opportunity to try to make a pit stop of his own, and he runs for Sit-Com and the Junkion crew. "Could due with a quick patch up if you please."

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

"Sure thing, Cujo," Sit-Com says, as he starts to get to work on the Lion-Dog. He does a quick but respectable job, then pats the Monster-Bot on the shoulder. "Now go out there and sic 'em!"

Combat: Sit-Com quickly patches up some of Temple Dog <Keeper>'s minor injuries.

Red Spacecraft <Redshift>'s running lights and cockpit light up brightly as the fresh fuel flows into his system, although some if it starts to leak right back out again through his various injuries. "Good job, now I can get one more KABLAM in before those autocars gang up on me again!" He emits, and he takes off, uickly searching for a target. Mirage is too quick, but... Clutch has been a major pain, so he's as good a target as any. The red ship makes one last reckless dive, crashing down towards the blue car.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> sets his defense level to Fearless.

As Mirage zooms away, Motormaster takes advantage of the relative pause in the action (not that Autobots aren't still banging into him every minute or two) to pull into the pit. "Carjack! Get over here and get this wheel changed out. It's pulling to the right ever since I hit Prime."

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Full Speed Ahead attack!

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

White Lamborghini <Breakdown> is pinned up against the wall, and can't pull away because his tires can't find any traction! "AHHH! AHHH! AHHHHHHHH! GET OFF OF ME!!!" he shrieks, and his engine begins vibrating--and that's bad news for Chromedome! And Breakdown, too, it turns out!!!

Combat: White Lamborghini <Breakdown> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: White Lamborghini <Breakdown> misses Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Breakdown Shakedown attack! [Pulled -2]

Carjack doesn't get to Motormaster right away, but that's only because he's got to go back into the pit and grab a spare tire. Fortunately he came prepared for all of the Stunticons and it's not long before he returns. A few zips to the nuts to pull the bad one off, tossing it aside, and then takes a moment to grab the rest of the wheel assembly and bend it back into shape. It's not perfect, but it'll keep him rolling. Slams the tired back on, and a few more zips of the socket gun it's locked down and he's backing away. "Getta rollin' big guy!"

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> comes rocketing out of the pit crew are like he's been launched from a cannon. He's still in pretty rough shape and smoing from several areas of damasge.. But at least now he has a colorful Flintstones bandaid on his bend pontoon. The Jumpstarter is barely able to get enoughaltitude before his thrusters give out, "Miss meeeeeee?!" he yells out as he's fully intent on landing ontop of Redshift!

Combat: Carjack quickly patches up some of Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster>'s minor injuries.

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> misses Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Ram attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> sees Redshift circling for a target in his rear-view optics. He begins driving, again following Motormaster's track and then veering into some partially-filled trails from earlier in the derby. "That's it," Clutch murmurs out loud when the spaceship turns in his direction. Redshift quickly - almost instantly - catches up to the ground car, but hoping that the Decepticon is more intent on his target than his flight path, Clutch leads him directly towards a wall. And maybe into the wall -- just before Redshift makes his dive Clutch re-engages his hover system and strafes straight to one side!

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Defensive Driving attack!

<<Not only that, but your mother board is burned out!>> Turbo-Car <Chromedome> continues to lash out with likewise lame insults. Reversing, the Autobot kicks the futuristic car backwards and into Motormaster's path!

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Oopsie attack! [Pulled -2]

The announcer is rather boredly flipping through a magazine in a brown paper wrapper when one of the Six Lasers aides tugs on his fabulous pink sleeve. He sputters, "Bring out the flan!" The aide shakes his head and insists, "It's not that, sir! Illegal use of ranged weapons!" The announcer frowns. "...bring out the flan anyway and get that joker out of the pit! We run a clean... dirty show here."

And lo, vats of flan are trundled out and thrown onto the course, and staffers in white lab coats go fishing for Breakdown, to take him away, to the funny farm, ha ha, where everything is happy and wonderful!

Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> begins driving away from Motormaster, the traumatic injury he had just underwent has left him shaken but thankfully not stirred. Yeah... bad cheesy pun there. Don't hate! Steering closer to the pit-stop, Mirage mind wanders towards the thought of throwing in the towel. What's left of his rear spoiler drags across the floor, a solemn reminder that he's out of place in an arena filled with grunts. Yep, Mirage is looking down. Who oh who can possibly INSPIRE him to awesomeness once more? *winkwinknudgenudge*

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Sit-Com sees that his Auto-buddies need a boost! A boost, of INSPIRATION! "It's not over til the fat lady sings! It's always darkest before dawn! Don't ram til you can see the whitewalls on their tires!"

Combat: Sit-Com inspires Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> and Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> with lofty and righteous words!

White Lamborghini <Breakdown> transforms, looking up at the announcer with a shocked look, then he is buried under an avalanche of flan. "AAIIIIEEE!"

The white Lamborghini pops up into the jittery Breakdown!

Temple Dog <Keeper> rotates his joints and then nods to the pit crew. He bounds back out to the field and roars like Aslan, only to find it muffled by a bit of flan bounce-splashing up off the ground! He sputters and gives a look of WTH?! He coughs it out and then runs after Motormaster. He lowers his horned head and lunges.

Blue is not a good colour for Redshift. If it wasn't bad enough his moronic blue twin hasto always show him up, now he's being double-teamed by a blue hover.. thing and a blue sportscar! Even in his severely dilapidated state, he can avoid Topspin's poor attempt at ramming him, but not Clutch's clutches! The blue car knocks Redshift off course, sending the red ship smashing into Clutch once more.

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Failing at Flying attack! [Pulled -4]

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> comes out of the pit road in third gear, bounding onto the track and heading straight after Chromedome. "Get off of him!" Motormaster snarls, closing in on Chromedome at the same time Chromedome is backing away from Breakdown towards him. "The Stunticons are MINE! You get your dirty clamps off them or you answer to ME!"

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Beware a Jealous Master (Ram) attack!

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> misses Redshift completely of course since he's still as busted as he was when he went into the pit crew area. And now the ground is coming up on him fast. He tries to adjust his wing flags in an attempt to land ontop of Motormaster. He's big and might soften his laning.. maybe?

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Ram attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> sees Redshift coming and then swerves to face him head-on, engine revving mightily to give him a huge burst of speed. "Let's see who flinches first!" He calls out loudly. But apparently neither of them will.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Hey that's not how you play Chicken... attack!

Motormaster's grill smashes into and through Chromedome's rear end, sending him careening towards the wall and Redshift!

"Nooooooooo, not the fender! Anything but the fender!!" Stylor calls from the stands, particularly angry that the Stunticon messes up the one good thing his partner had going for him.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Red Spacecraft <Redshift> with his Objects In Mirror... attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: Red Spacecraft <Redshift> falls to the ground, unconscious.

Red Spacecraft <Redshift> explodes!

There's a long awkward silence after Sit-Com speaks his words of wisdom to Mirage. Somehow, somewhere, something got lost in translation. Whatever though! Mirage's courage meter goes from ZIPPO to BLAMO thanks to the almighty code and the Autobot counter-intelligence specialist breaks the silence, "Oh well, now I feel like I can go out there and take another beating or two." Wait a minute... that didn't sound right. Either way, the formula one race car speed out of the pit-stop again. Albit a bit confused.

The announcer leaps to his feet and shouts out, "And we have our first geninue knockout! Awyeah, look at that fireball! We're gonna put that on slow-mo replay in case you missed it the fiurst time!"

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Temple Dog <Keeper> grumbles as the truck is getting harder and harder to hit. Maybe he's just getting old prematurely from all these foreign substances the event organizers keep throwing into the pit. Flan on top of vanilla pudding on top of red Jell-O on top of mud. He pulls back once more to take a 'breather'.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Carjack looks up to watch Redshift go down like a blazing comment. Looks back to the mud pit to see Motormaster pretty much surrounded by this point. Puts his hands up to his mouth and shouts in an attempt to be helpful. "Remember Autobots, your other faction mates are still a threat to YOU winning, don't forget about taking them out as well!"

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Sorry I can't do more to help ya at this point, big guy."

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Hmph! I'll just have to take them all out myself!"

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "You can do it big guy."

<Decepticon> Dead End totally doesn't sound like he believes it.

"Five on one?" muses Motormaster, air brakes hissing as he comes to a stop on one side of the arena, turning his cab back to face the Autobot pit area. A chunk of Redshift skitters across the track, clanks off of Motormaster's passenger-side door, and bounces hissing into a steaming pile of flan. "I like those odds." He drops it into first, fires up his engine, and plunges back into the affray.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> with his One on Five (Ram) attack!

"I'm not in here with YOU!" booms Motormaster as he tears into the Autobot ranks. "YOU'RE in here with ME!"

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> pobounces offthe top of Motormaster which helps him skid to an ugly crash landing. But at least he skidded into a big pile of flan which is goopy and sticky as chunks of it fall ontop of him and into his damaged spots. The little Wreckre just decides to stay there in the flan for a moment to watch the car-b-que that once was Redshift, "Damn.. looks like he won't be in the next leg of the games." he mutters and wonders which of the two will be the one to take down the seemingly unstoppable Stunticon. Since pretty much every one of his warning sensor lights are blinking. Perhaps sitting this one out for a bit is a wise choice.

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

<Decepticon> Dead End totally dead pan, "You tell them Motormaster."

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "What were you doing, Dead End!? I got creamed out there! Every single Autobot was gunning for me! And.. they tricked me!"

<Decepticon> Breakdown sounds a little sullen

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Did you really expect anything different Breakdown? Besides, they'll all pay really."

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "Oh, they will!"

The fire on the sofa is put out, and it's only slightly charred. It can still be sat upon. Sit-Com sits on it and watches for any more potential wounded.

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "There's still the land race! I think?"

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Yes, there is."

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "YEAH!"

<Decepticon> Astrotrain says, "Wait, what did you freaks just finish doing?"

No sooner has Mirage pulled out of the Junkion pit than their next customer comes screeching in. "Hey Doc...I could really use a tune-up!"

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Yes, we'll teach them a hard lesson tonight! When they face us in the road race they'll know to fear the Stunticons!"

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "It is not what we just finished doing that you should be worried about, Astrotrain. Just stay off the roads and you'll be fine."

Turbo Car <Chromedome> whirls around and pulls up to Carjack's pit, his rear end skidding on the ground behind him. <<Winning isn't everything, Decepticon. I'd be glad to navigate the finer points of friendly competition now, but I do have an event to get back to. Try to save the fender in your repairs, if you could. Stylor is so very dear to it.>>

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Just as soon as Mirage had pulled out of the pit-stop, he is rammed again by an excited Motormaster. Well at least he thinks he's excited, one can't really tell what Motormaster is feeling when all you see is a grilled vent coming right at you. The front of the blue formula one race car disappears underneath the large black truck momentarily as the large vehicle cruises through before showing up battered and inches away from total non-functional condition.

Needless to say, Mirage's courage meter goes from BLAMO to BLIP again.

"Guh! Can't you weigh any less?!" Mirage cries out, a meager attempt at sarcasm in the face of tremendous pain. He slowly moves forward, the blue shimmering hue overtakes his form once more, albit a visual distortion can be see at the front now due to damage.

Combat: Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> activates his cloaking field and vanishes from sight!

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Oh, and Breakdown, while I know you'll most likely do this, but don't fall to the pressure of the Autobots in the race. We will win. Regardless."

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "You missed the demolition derby again, Astrotrain! The Stunticons and a SHIFT had to carry the Decepticon flag!"

<Decepticon> Astrotrain says, "Boo freakin hoo. Firstly, I didn't wanna embarass the rest of ya cause I"m just that nice a guy. Secondly, I was drunk anyway."

Sit-Com quickly gets to work on Clutch. While he fixes, a gumby Junkion powerwashes Clutch off, though they know full well he'll just be dirty the minute he leaves the pit. "Try our new gleam-o-wax," Sit-Com says, "Mud rolls right off it."

<Decepticon> Astrotrain sniffs. "May still be a little sloshed..."

Combat: Sit-Com quickly patches up some of Blue Sportscar <Clutch>'s minor injuries.

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Yes, that is what I would have guessed."

Temple Dog <Keeper> comes back in from his brief rest, all the competetors looking like a sad stack of rusted outmodes. "Motormaster. I'm coming for you." Oooookaaaaaay. Keeper goes into his bounding run looking to meet the truck head on this time.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Headon Grillon (Ram) attack!

Carjack makes a bit of a face, but rules are rules. Sigh. He goes to fix Chromedome... but does it mostly with some quick spot welds and plenty of duct tape. Though duct tape is pretty good at holding things together, at least temporarily.... and kicks a random piece that falls off in the process. "Oops... well I'm sure that wasn't -too- important!~" Stifles his snickering as he finishes up and gets out of the way. "Now go'on, scoot, get outta here."

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "I... well... it just creeps me out when they turn invisible and stuff!"

Combat: Carjack quickly patches up some of Turbo Car <Chromedome>'s minor injuries.

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> turns aside so that his impact with Keeper only knocks off one of his side mirrors. "I'll deal with YOU in a moment. First I need to refuel so that I can crush all of your delicate, dainty little friends!" Motormaster cruises into the Decepticon pit area, braking in front of Carjack so that his bumper just kisses the cones, and pops open the fuel caps on his big silver tanks. "Fill it up. I have suffering to inflict."

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "As it should. It IS creepy."

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Yes yes. They like to think they can be stealthy and sneaky and underhanded, but in the end, they're just creepy stalkers after our motivators."

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> gets himself ready and forces his systems to listen to him one more time as he blasts free from the pile of flan, "Autobots foreveeer!!" the little Jumpstarter howls as he goes rocketing across the arena head on towards Motormaster fully intent on trying to topple the juggernaut.

<Decepticon> Astrotrain says, "See when they do that, you go run over one of their weaky-type friends in retaliation."

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Ram attack!

Carjack is still kinda eeeeew that he had to work on an Autobot! ... fortunately there's a proper Decepticon that needs his help now to distract him. "Then lets get you gassed up and out there!" Forgoing the fancy stuff, he just opens his chest, takes out the whole damn fuel tank, and dumps the entire thing into Motormaster's tank. Seeing as there's no other Decepticons left on the field.

Combat: Carjack refuels Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster>'s energon reserves.

Carjack then tosses the barrel in the trash and gets the heck out of the way as the Autobots start mobbing towards the pit to slam into Motormaster while he's there. "Hey hey hey! Take it back in the field you weirdos!"

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> speeds out of the pit area and immediately swerves to direct himself at Motormaster. There's just so many Autobots in the area though, that even with a big target like the Stunticon Semi there's no real room to get in a clean shot. He tries anyway, only to have Topspin dart in first! "Look ooout!" Veering away, he ends up ramming into Keeper yet again.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Temple Dog <Keeper> with his We KEEP on meeting like this! attack!

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "I don't want them near my motivator!!!"

Turbo Car <Chromedome> rips out of Carjack's pit and circles around to give Motormaster a bit of his own medicine! When the Stunticon Commander swiftly pulls in to get a refuel and a blue hovercraft impacts into him, <<Aw shucks!!>> the Headmaster laments as he swerves around wildly and towards Clutch! :(

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Autobot Pile-Up! attack! [Pulled -2]

Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> moves cautiously over towards the nearest arena exit, well not that he can really produce enough speed to go quick in his current state. Between the trail of energon and other fluids that he's leaking out behind him and the failing hologram generator at the front of his chasis, it's not really hard to pin down where Mirage's is and where he is headed. Eventually he makes it over to the arena exit, transforms and throws himself over, "I think I've had enough of this fender banging business... oooh my head hurts."

Combat: Suddenly, Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> appears out of thin air!

Blue Ligier JS-11 <Mirage> transforms into his Robot mode.

Temple Dog <Keeper> buckles as Clutch veers into him. He grits his teeth and then turns on the blue car. "So be it..." And with a a slight limp in his scamper, Keeper charges the short distance between Clutch and himself.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Scheduled accident (Ram) attack!

"Ahhh, that's the stuff," Motormaster growls, starting up his engine with a rumble (and drawing more aggro in the process). "I'm ready to mangle some manifolds now!" Pulling out of the pit, he gets immediately knocked into by Topspin, and pulls his cab over to pursue the... jetboat, if that's what it is. "You made a mistake getting my attention, twerp!"

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Its simple then Breakdown. Just bash them in before they get the chance to do that. Give them what they are going to get anyways."

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> with his Rule the Wrecker! (Ram) attack!

Combat: Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> falls to the ground, unconscious.

Blue Hovercraft <Topspin> explodes.

The announcer sighs as Mirage just up and leaves and looks down into his magazine again... completely misssing Topspin exploding. An aide tugs on his sleeve and points at the replay, and he cries out, "Nooooo, I missed it!?"

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "I guess!"

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Hah! Some of them are getting it sooner rather than later!"

"FINALLY!" A wreck and an explosion!.. well, one that stayed in the arena, unlike Redshift. "GO MOTORMASTER! GO GO -- Oh, right." Carjack remembers he's still on the job here, and that includes cleaning up the other messes people make. He transforms and speeds out onto the field, launches a few tow chains from his back end to grab onto the flaming remains of the Wrecker, and dragging him out of the way of the others still intent on smashing each other up.

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> pulls ahead of Chromedome and then Keeper. All this driving and running has turned all the liquid, jelly and pudding dumped on the ground into a uniform sludge by now, but it's thin enough that it's no worse than normal slippery-conditions driving. "Whoa whoa guys, one problem at a time okay?!" He veers around in a wide loop around the Autobots chasing him, and then tries to clip Motormaster's rear tires.

Carjack hits the ground and folds into a rescue truck.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Offensive Driving attack! [Pulled -1]

Turbo Car <Chromedome> gets his steering under control, and pulls up alongside the arena's edge. <<Whew, that was a close call.>> Turning around, he lines up with one of the remaining combatants.

Combat: Chromedome takes extra time to aim his next attack.

Temple Dog <Keeper> is out distanced by Clutch and gets a faceful of sludge mist from the spinning back tires for his troubles. His own tactics not working particularly well, he thinks on it. And then it hits him. It worked for Mirage for a while. Keeper reaches into subspace and takes out a spray cannister. He shakes it and listens. "Enough for one treatment..." With a flick of a claw blade, Keeper activates the spray and coats himself...

One of Motormaster's rear tires blows out thanks to Clutch's masterfully executed maneuver, but he has fifteen more of them. Motormaster swerves in the direction of the blowout's pull, lurching towards Clutch to try to catch him with the side of his trailer and drag him under his undercarriage.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Movie Star Decapitation Special (Ram) attack!

Crash Response Truck <Carjack> drops Topspin off at the edge of the pitstops, and quickly chugs back over to his own, before he becomes a side hazard. Good thing he's really fast and his mode is made for horrible terrain like mud. If it wasn't for the whole pit crew thing he probably would of been out there! Maybe next year.

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> scoots under Motormaster's frame, a few sparks spraying as metal scrapes on metal. But soon the blue speedster shoots out from the other side, before swerving around and then darting at Motormaster again. This time he veers towards the huge truck's front, a glancing blow intended to connect the strongest part of his own reinforced bumper with the Stunticon's front tire.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his How Offensive Can Driving Get Anyway? attack! [Pulled -2]

<<If I'm going to flash our ethics to a Decepticon, I might as well prove our point with actions rather than words. So in the name of these Olympic games and friendly competition, I dare strike out at an ally!>> Turbo-Car <Chromedome> waxes aloud in case anyone started questioning his loyalties. Rocketing forward, the Headmaster tries to sideswipe Clutch!

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Mini-Movie Star Decapitation Special attack!

Temple Dog <Keeper> looks at himself... through himself, and then slowly starts to stalk around the edges of the pit.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> swings back the other way as Clutch deftly scoots under his trailer, and gets pounded by Chromedome for his efforts. When Clutch knocks into Motormaster's cab, Motormaster sees this as an opportunity and eases the wheel over in a defensive maneuver to try to shove Clutch back into the arena wall!

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Chariot Racing (Ram) attack! [Pulled -2]

"Ach, they're dropping like flies," one of the Junkion Gumbies says, "Looks like there's nothing left for us to do but pick up the pieces."

Sit-Com nods slowly. "The fat lady's almost ready," he says.

Crash Response Truck <Carjack> just stays in this mode and keeps his engine running. Seeing as he's morely likely to be hauling other wrecks off the field than trying to fix anyone at this point.

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> jerks forward as Chromedome slams into him, then gets knocked almost into a wall as Motormaster comes at him next. Somehow Clutch manages to get two wheels onto the wall and begins driving at more and more of an angle as Motormaster presses him, threating to crush the car completely. "Chromedome, can we PLEASE take care of this Stunticon first?! This is a matter of Autobot pride!" He squirts out ahead of Motormaster just before being crushed, the lack of resistance hopefully causing the Stunticon slam into the wall before he can recover.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Let's See You Shatter This attack! [Pulled -1]

<<Foolish pride at the cost of what? Our reputation, that's what. Perhaps my voyage aboard the Steelhaven instituted a different set of virtues on me, but the least I can do in this situation is enlighten you on how we -should- act.>> Turbo-Car <Chromedome> preaches, reversing and plowing forward again into Clutch.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Smash 'n Preach attack! [Pulled -2]

Temple Dog <Keeper> stalks and prowls and skirts around, slowing and speeding up when wise to do so. What a voyeur. Oh but the Autobots are quibbling so he decides his trip into the realm of the unseen must be short lived. He finds an angle to attack Motormaster from... and pounces.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Out of nowhere (Ram) attack!

Although the claws rake Motormaster's trailer, they aren't enough to stop or even really slow him. He swerves over towards the wall again to try to smash Clutch or Chromedome, chortling humorlessly. "Yes, that's right. Spread the love around, Clutch!"

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> sets his defense level to Fearless.

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Whoo! The Autobots are finally smashing each other too!"

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Spreading the Love (Ram) attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> downshifts, swerves aside at just the right moment and then lets Chromedome pull up next to him, as if he'd moved aside to let the other Autobot pass. <<Are you nuts?!>> He demands, using comms now. Maybe the other car couldn't hear him. Yeah, sure. <<How we should act? Isn't fighting among their own kind the way the DECEPTICONS act?>> He spins away and then heads for the center of the field, and towards Carjack. <<Hey you!>> After a moment he shouts it out loud. "Hey, you! Can you give me a quick recharge?" He skids to a stop right in front of the Decepticon. "Got any NOS back there? I'm running a little low." Ah, so that's the secret of Clutch's speed.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Motormaster's smashing love sends Chromedome into a wall, the side of the altmode is chewed up as it's raked along. <<How they act has very little to do with it, Clutch. We should never lower ourselves to their level.>>

Combat: Chromedome takes extra time to aim his next attack.

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "It was just a matter of time."

Crash Response Truck <Carjack> dumped all his extra energon into Motormaster... fortunately the Autobot asks for something else! ".. And they said I was crazy for bringing that with!" Cackling he speeds back into the pit area, transforming to grab a few tanks, and comes hurrying back out. "Here we go..." Mind you, he's not the least bit gentle about yanking out the empty ones and shoving these into place, but hey, it gets the job done, right?

The emergency response truck opens up into a robot.

Sit-Com rests in the couch, reclining while watching everyone smack into each other. "Oooooh, vanishing cheshire dog," he says, when Keeper pulls a Mirage.

Temple Dog <Keeper> just has to try to whittle at the Stunticon commander hoping all the superficial damage he can inflict accumulates before he does himself in. Keeper lunges at the Kenworth again as the other two remaining Autobots debate.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his P-p-p-puppy power! (Ram) attack!

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Show them no mercy now, Motormaster."

Combat: Carjack refuels Blue Sportscar <Clutch>'s energon reserves.

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Mercy is not a quality I cultivate."

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Mercy only gets you.. ah... murdered. Yeah, that works!"

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "The only reason I gave that bot some gas is so he can get out there and you can smash him more! Mercy has nothing to do with it."

<Decepticon> Carjack mutters about the rules of having to pit for both sides under his breath

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Sure."

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "Merciful would of been gutting his laser core were he stood so his suffering ended."

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> pulls away from Keeper, carves a great sweeping arc through the mud as he comes back around, and charges back towards the guard dog with deadly intent! "You're getting to be tiresome, mutt! You could use some training! Sit! Stay!"

<Decepticon> Carjack, employing warped medic logic

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Temple Dog <Keeper> with his Play Dead! (Ram) attack!

"Attaboy, Scrappy, pound Goliath into scrap!" Sit-Com says.

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> revs his enging experimentally after Carjack finishes. "Hmm, feels a little...off..." He pulls out and picks up speed before activating the chemical booster system the Nitrous is used for. And then he blurs into motion, jets of flame pouring out of his exhaust, leaving smoke and parallel lines of black behind him. "WhooHOOO!!" He streaks to one end of the field, skids around in a drifting turn and then races back towards Motormaster and Keeper, slamming into (and off) the Stunticon like a hockey puck.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Offensive Driving attack!

Turbo Car <Chromedome> races forward, drawing a bead on Clutch. <<I see that my advice has obviously been ignored, how are we to show them the correct way to act.. when we're just as corrupt as them?>> Hitting the brakes, the Headmaster screeches the back end around to swipe into the blue sportscar.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Sideswipe'd attack!

Temple Dog <Keeper> scampers faster than some chump woodland rodent crossing a highway and only feels the thunderous whoosh of the truck driving through where he no longer is at. He doesn't stop moving, and bounds around to chase after the truck to ram it from behind before it gets a chance to veer around.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> misses Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his The Chase (Ram) attack!

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> blares past Keeper too fast for Keeper to snag the rear doors of his trailer. While he's preparing to turn around again, who should he see coming this way but Chromedome and Clutch! And Clutch is aiming to crash into him again! Motormaster hauls the wheel over and tries to pit Clutch into a concrete barrier this time.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Crossing the Double Yellow Line (Ram) attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> blurs by ahead of Chromedome. <<WHAT is your problem? You think the 'correct way to act' is to take ME out?! There's more than one Autobot still here if you want to attack another Autobot so badly! What you're doing doesn't even make sense! If you take us out, you really think YOU can handle-->> He's still trying to reason with Chromedome, but his voice is betraying anger now. But he's cut off by the approaching Motormaster. Almost pinned again, slams on his brakes, darts under Motormaster one more time to emerge on the other side, then bumps into him for good measure.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Offensive Driving attack!

<<Whether I can or cannot handle the remaining Decepticon has little to do with our current debate, Clutch.>> Turbo-Car <Chromedome> emits as he puts on the speed to catch up to Clutch, but he jerks to the side and lines up Keeper. <<I would suggest ceasing your complaining, and partake further in these Olympic games. I fear you've lost the spirit of good competition friend!>>

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Temple Dog <Keeper> with his Objects In Mirror... attack!

Temple Dog <Keeper> would be breathing hard now if he could breath. Chasing the truck expended energy. And then a high velocity clipping from Chromedome sends him staggering on wobbling legs. He backs off for a moment. The dance continues.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> throws off a spray of sugary ooze as he slings his trailer around in a wide fishtail which threatens to slap Clutch into the wall of the arena as Motormaster tries to bring his nose around towards the nimble sports car.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Sliding Impact (Ram) attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> sends a few grumbles over the Autobot comm, then turns and speeds in front of the truck again, trying to find a spot that's damaged, maybe. And not so much like slamming into a wall. Unfortunately, Motormaster beats him to it and slams Clutch into the wall first. "Aw slaggit," he mutters, bouncing off roughly before darting in for another attack.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Wolves Nipping at Bear attack!

Turbo Car <Chromedome> charges forward once again at Keeper, fishtailing the entire way towards his target. <<I do not believe I've made your acquintence yet friend, I am known as Chromedome. You would be?>>

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Temple Dog <Keeper> with his Greetings! attack!

Temple Dog <Keeper> can't quite scamper from the oncoming Headmaster and is driven against his own traction through the mess with a loud crunching bang. "Keeper. And I already know who you are." Ooh, sounds like a school headmaster himself. But he backs off some more now, still biding and regrouping.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> puts on the brakes and swerves towards Clutch, gearing down and suddenly accelerating again to try to run his rear wheels over Clutch when he does that trick of passing under his trailer. By now the arena smells like sugar, cream, and diesel smoke. Fantastic.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Feinting Crush (Ram) attack!

"All we need is to have someone dump New Coke all over the arena, and we could summon Bill Cosby," Sit-Com says.

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> pulls away at the last second, accelerating to give himself some room before starting to circle around the much bigger vehicle. "This is getting us nowhere!" He complains bitterly. "Anybody got any ideas?! We can't just do THIS all day!" At the word THIS he turns to face Motormaster and gives him another tap on the trailer.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Offensive Driving attack!

<<You do? Well it's a pleasure to meet you, Keeper. Apparently my reputation preceeds me, or that of my Nebulon partner Stylor!>> Turbo-Car <Chromedome> replies, going straight at the temple dog for a head-on collision.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Temple Dog <Keeper> with his APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE HEAD.. HEAD-ON! attack!

Temple Dog <Keeper> growls at Chromedome chasing him down and returns the favor. His horns point forward as he lunges.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> strikes Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Mess with the dog you get the horn (Ram) attack!

"On the contrary," Motormaster replies, circling towards Clutch head-on, "I CAN do this all day."

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his This Is What I Do All Day (Ram) attack!

Sit-Com listens to the Cosby Show theme come from his wrist-TV. He watches the competitors smack into each other. "Too bad Fat Albert's not competing," he says.

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> skids out of the way and avoids yet another attack, no doubt living on borrowed time by now. "Noted," he mutters dourly. He fires his boostrts until he's a streak headed to the other side of the field once more. Once there h spins around, pauses briefly like he's waiting to joust, then accelerates, speeding towards Motormaster. "But there's only two ways this is going to end!" At the last second Clutch pulls to the side, angling to hit a glancing blow rather than collide head-on. Which would be dumb.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his This Probably Isn't Too Smart either attack!

Turbo Car <Chromedome> is knocked into another wall, chewing up the other side of the alt-mode. But that doesn't smack the fight out of him yet, the Headmaster slowly accelerates for another collision.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Temple Dog <Keeper> with his Renewed Vigor! attack!

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Come on Motormaster, show that pathetic excuse for a four wheeled vehicle what true speed is!"

Temple Dog <Keeper> limps and staggers as Chromedome comes back for another impact. CRASH. Keeper groans. Ah, if only he could just cut loose instead of being restricted to these brutal full body charge tactics. He leaps over Chromedome and puts his sights back on Motormaster.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Return of the foo (Ram) attack!

Likewise, if only the Stunticons could've merged to form Menasor and started pounding Autobots into the floor. But that's all behind us now. Like Keeper in Motormaster's side mirror as Motormaster limps after Clutch on wobbly axles. There's a limit to even his endurance, and it seems he might finally be reaching it.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Wobbly Ram (Ram) attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> manages to slip away from Motormaster once more without his bodywork savaged any more than it already is (his own bumper is completely dented and battered by this point). He speeds over to the far side of the field again and then charges back in, hoping that the longer running starts will give him the momentum to make his hits count. Although he's not really that hopeful.

Sit-Com cracks open the bottle of Gin and finds a bottle of Vermouth. Well, since this derby is still going, he figures he'll kill some time by filling up a full checkerboard of martini glasses. A small dish of olives stands by for when a 'checker' gets 'kinged'. He'll start the game after the victor is declared.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Offensive Driving attack!

Turbo Car <Chromedome> reaches the end of the arena, and whips around towards the remaining combatants. Aaaaaaaaaaaand his gas light comes on, as he pulls up into Carjack's pit crew. <<Excuse me Decepticon, I require a topping off. Oh, and please spurge for the good stuff. I'm afraid the generic brands don't mix well with my systems.>>

Temple Dog <Keeper> digs his claws into the muck to steady himself after colliding with Motormaster, and watches as he and Clutch tango. The little car out manuevers the behemoth. Floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. He braces himself, and gives himself a spurring to go on. He charges the Kenworth once more., not knowing if he himself has enough left in him to survive the impact.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Relentlessly yours (Ram) attack!

Combat: Carjack deploys his reserve energon tank.

Oh. How he would just -love- to lace some of this fuel with acid. Or even just a bit of sugar in the tank, like that one human prank.

But he can't. So Carjack has to settle on just doing his job. Though while he is dumping a tank of energon into Chromedome, he's at least a bit slopping with it, dribbling some while putting the spout in, and splattering a bit more while taking it out again. Maybe he'll get hit hard enough to catch on fire or something.

They can't blame him for THAT after all.

Combat: Carjack refuels Turbo Car <Chromedome>'s energon reserves.

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> heedlessly bumps Clutch out of the way as he charges towards Keeper for a dramatic head-on collision! Keeper delivers the charge, but can Motormaster take him out?

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Temple Dog <Keeper> with his Dog Eat Dog (Ram) attack!

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> gets knocked aside like a bumper car. "Oh come on, now you're just rubbing it in!" He calls, before gunning his enging and chasing after Motormaster. Just to change things up, this time he tries to bang into the place where the double trailers meet.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Here Goes Nothing attack!

After getting his tanks refilled, Turbo-Car <Chromedome> takes off straight for the pack again. <<Excuse my abrupt absence chaps, but I'm back to see this competition to and end.>> Lining up with the Temple Dog, the Headmaster goes back to his old favorite.. the head-on collision.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> misses Temple Dog <Keeper> with his Beep Beep attack!

Carjack isn't even one of the people fighting, and he's feeling more drained that anyone else at the moment since he keeps having to pump energon in all the competators that just will not crash and burn. Staggering off into the pits he starts rummaging around for more spare tanks so he can fill up himself for filling up more people. Or just get slag-faced drunk by the time its over, either one is possible by this point.

Sit-Com notices how long this is taking and starts playing the theme to the old Roadrunner cartoon over the loudspeakers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwYQsZuh2CM

Combat: Carjack sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Carjack strikes himself with his Chugging some energon this way since it won't let me !pass without having been hit and this is really taking a long time! (Grab) attack!

Temple Dog <Keeper> is fortunately? plowed out of Chromedomes path by Motormaster, a trail is gouged through the soft sugar imbued earth and he tumbles clear. But at least he didn't get smucked between both the truck and the headmaster. Now he knows he's got next to nothing left and is determined to make what he has count instead of just walking away. He rises unsteadily but then straightens and makes himself stand firm. Keeper gives a kamikaze roar and charges... Chromedome.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> misses Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Sic Em (Ram) attack!

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> turns back towards Keeper and accelerates after him, steering to pursue the noisy (mythological) beast. Crashing into all these guys (not to mention parts of the arena, at times) is taking a toll on him, and Motormaster is having a hard time changing gears and holding his course steady, but he's determined to go down fighting!

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> strikes Temple Dog <Keeper> with his Giant Roadkill (Ram) attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: Temple Dog <Keeper> falls to the ground, unconscious.

Carjack looks out of the pits for a moment as he hears a crash... but sees its just the big dumb animal that got wrecked. "I ain't no slaggin' dogcatcher, someone else haul his tail off the field!" And goes back to his own 'refueling'.

The announcer, meanwhile, has gone through a hotel room mini-bar's wroth of assorted alcoholic beverages and is in something rather resembling a stupor. A scantily-clad woman slaps him on the face, demanding, "Wake up, you idiot!" He stirs and mutters, "Huh-wha? Oh, we're at the final three? We're at the final three!?"

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Okay Motormaster. Just 2 more to go. Pick up the pace now, you slowpoke."

"Awww man, I was bettin' on the dog to win," Sit-Com moans, then goes to drag the Temple Dog off the track and onto a stretcher. He pats the monstrous Monsterbot. "It's ok, you did good," he says quietly. Kinda like the Dog Whisperer.

"Aw Pit!" Clutch mutters as he loops around for yet another charge at Motormaster. "There goes the only guy who could actually reach that Stunticon!" Vroom vrooming towards the giant truck again, he adds philosophically. "Oh well. As long as Chromedome doesn't put me into the wall, I might still have a chance..." Tempting fate no doubt.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> with his Vroom Vroom! attack!

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster> falls to the ground, unconscious.

Temple Dog <Keeper> falls short of his prey, robbed of his last willful act in this event, and pays the price leaving himself easy game to become Motormaster's roadkill. The temple dog, soiled and knocked out, gets hauled off for the worst humiliation yet... a BATH! ~gasp~

Turbo Car <Chromedome> circles back around, intent on running into the Temple Dog again. Then suddenly, he crumples under Motormaster's blow. <<Insolent Decepticon, how could you underhandedly switch opponents like that? That's just wrong, howabout I bring the fight to you!>> Changing direction, the Headmaster lines up for a collision with the Stunticon Commander. Then Clutch knocks him out as well.

<<Well.. crap.>> he putters forward, launching himself at Clutch.

The Junkion gumbies all awwwww as Sit-Com brings Keeper in to be hosed off and repaired fully. "Can we keeeep him, pleaaaaaaase?" they ask. Sit-Com shakes his head. "A dog like this, needs to be free."

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> misses Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Twice Denied! attack!

"Now that's more like it." And at least the Stunticon still got a medal! Carjack chugs out to retrieve Motormaster and haul him into the pits. It's a good thing his vehicle mode is made for this sort of thing.

Sit-Com hears "The Littlest Hobo" theme playing on his Wrist-TV.

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne <Motormaster>'s mighty diesel finally gives out! With a sputter and a grinding of gears he coasts through the mud and clonks into a wall, coming to a stop with a heavy clang until Carjack comes to tow him away.

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> swerves out of Chromedome's way. <<I'd like to say I'm not going to enjoy this...>>, he says in a voice full of false sincerity. <<But I don't know if that's the way an Autobot should act. What do YOU think?>> Then he swerves back in, hard at Chromedome's side.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Offensive Driving attack!

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Hmph... I knew he was going to trip up in the end. We'll get them back in the Land Race though."

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Hrng... we'll get them sooner or later. Just can't... can't ever give up."

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "Yeah, that sucks! And it's all because the Autobots cheated! We should sue them or something!"

<<Witty combat banter aside, Clutch, you've been an admirable adversary in this event. If only your drive to see the Decepticon pummeled was met with your honor as an Autobot, then you would be clearly a mech among mechs.>> Turbo-Car <Chromedome> emits, before revving his engine to max speeds and heading for Clutch!

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his BALLS TO THE WALLS! attack!

The announcer can barely believe his eyes, and he stammers, "Did the Kenworth really go down? No way! End of an era, I tell you... or is that end of an error? Ah well, he gets Bronze. Soon as he's up, anyway, and on XXX, we have ways to get even a robot up." Another cheesy wink.

Pan shot to a crane.

"Must be a Big Johnson model crane," someone comments from the audience.

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "It doesn't work that way, Breakdown. Even if it did, we wouldn't win in the end. The Law favors the Autobots."

<Decepticon> Dead End says, "Usually."

<Decepticon> Breakdown says, "That isn't fair!!!"

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> is sent into a sudden rollover, before finally landing on his tires again, roof and doors crumpled. <<Uhhh,>> he moans before his engine roars to life again. <<Yeah, well, it's kind of hard sometimes when honor keeps getting in the way of winning.>> His boosters sputter and cough rather than firing, so he just does it the old fashioned way.

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> misses Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Ram attack!

<Decepticon> Carjack says, "At least in the land race I won't be stuck in the pits just watching and dragging your chassis off when you're done."

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "No justice but... what you make yourself"

<<Winning is not everything, Clutch.>> Turbo-Car <Chromedome> repeats himself, sliding on the terrain to bash into the Blue Sportscar again.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> strikes Blue Sportscar <Clutch> with his Objects In Mirror... attack!

<Decepticon> Motormaster says, "Have to have the strength to... force your will on the enemy. Resting now. Pit stop."

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> gets bashed yet again, panels flying off of his fender. <<Owww!>> he barks. <<Sure sure, I know that.>> He seems a lot more conversational now, all traces of his earlier anger at Chromedome gone. <<It's just...these driving events are kind of my thing, you know?>> Pulling away to get some distance, he spins and then comes crashing back into Chromedome again. <<It's an Autobot thing!>>

Combat: Blue Sportscar <Clutch> strikes Turbo Car <Chromedome> with his Proud to be an Autobot attack!

Sit-Com stares anxiously as it's down to the final two, all while softly drying off the freshly powerwashed Keeper with a gigantic towel. It's so big that two other gumbies have to help him. Can't work so good on a soaking wet patient, after all, though soaking wet is definitely preferable to coated in jello pudding mud.

Turbo Car <Chromedome> is plowed into, and good! The smash crushes his front end, knocking his gear down into reverse. <<Oh my.>> Sent backwards at top speeds, the Headmaster plows rear end first into Carjack's fuel depot!


 * SKAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Combat: Chromedome damages himself.

Combat: Turbo Car <Chromedome> falls to the ground, unconscious.

"DAMMIT HE RAMMED THE BOOZE!" Carjack protests. And then it explodes.

... "It makes a nice explosion though," he muses a moment later, watching the flames and smoke. Not as good as a full vehicle wreck, but still satisfying. It's a good thing he was still hauling Motor's fat aft off the field and not near it!

"And that's all she wrote," Sit-Com says, as the last bot standing turns out to be Clutch. "Congratulations and salutations," he says, waving at the victor. The freshly dried-off lion-dog is now prepped and being repaired.

Blue Sportscar <Clutch> rumbles to a stop in the middle of the battlefield. He's covered in mud, Jell-O and vanilla pudding. Dented and banged up all over, with parts hanging off and a trail of armor and metal left behind wherever he goes. "Is that...is that it?" He whispers, as if he doesn't believe it himself. Then he adds weakly, "Can somebody give me a tow...to the medical tent?"

Sit-Com folds down into his Junkcycle Mode. Vroom, vroom!

<Sit-Com> Junk-Cycle says, "Gotcher ride right here."

<Sit-Com> Junk-Cycle uses his chain to tow Clutch to repair-land.

Several scantily-clad women slog into the pit to bestow Clutch with a wreath made of exotic flowers. (Yes, he just got lei'd.) The announcer congratulates, "And the winner is... the Autobot Clutch! Oh, and Chromedome is Miss Congeniality, I guess, with Silver. And let's hear it for the pit crew, Carjack and Sit-Com!"

<Sit-Com> Junk-Cycle revs his engine at the crowd before towing Clutch off for repairs.

Results

Gold: Clutch

Silver: Chromedome

Bronze: Motormaster

Pit Crew: Carjack & Sit-Com