Library Session

Darkmount - Atrium

The interior of the fortress is a revolutionary design; after the original Darkmount was demolished in the cataclysmic final battle between Galvatron and the usurper Avatar, Shockwave had seventeen years in which to develop uniquely Decepticon architecture for the reconstruction. Consequently Darkmount is entirely without elevators, stairs, or for that matter contiguous floors. Designed by and for a flying species, such concessions as "connections between floors" are unnecessary at best and a tactical error at worst. Instead the center of the fortress is hollow, a vast hive-like space encircled by projecting structural members like the ribs of a whale balanced on its end. Decepticons fly up and down between the levels, landing on the ledges formed by the ribs which separate each floor from the next. Moving about in the fortress without the ability to fly would be something akin to scaling a cliff face.

In one of Darkmount's lower decks, a library of sorts can be found. It's strange to call it a library though, because Cybertronians don't really have books. Do they? If they did, would they be Transforming volumes of knowledge? Who would want to be a bookformer??

Either way, Juggernaut is currently seated at a table with a collection of reports in front of him. The lummox flips through them with little grace, his large fingers tearing into them as he does so. Hanging lights illuminate the area, kept to a low enough setting to create an ambiance of silence. Seated near the front of the deck is an attendant, a plaque on her desk reads: QUIET.

Striding in with dimissive ease, Kickback enters the room. He has a look around at the various records - and the attendant, tossing her a flirty grin as he heads straight to what he's looking for, pulling out a data reader clearly labelled: HOW TO SERVE HADDOCK.

Blueshift enters, walking behind Kickback at an uncomfortatly close distance, staring at the back of his head intently. He shoots the attendant as Kickback smiles at her, mentally noting that she must be a traitor for liaising with the Insecticon

The librarian gives Kickback a dismissive glare, but smiles when she sees Blueshift.. her hero! She'd always been a big fan of the Shift brothers, but since Redshift is out of her league.. she was willing to settle for second fiddles. But all of that doesn't matter, as the shot renders her unconcious with smoke trailing from her open mouth.

Standing, Juggernaut approaches the pair of them and looks to snatch the weapon out of Blueshift's hands. "Are you crazy on purpose.. or just a halfwit?" he scathes the spaceship, giving Kickback a curteous nod.

"One wonders," Kickback muses, before sitting on the desk next to the smoking librarian. "What brings you gentlemen here? The ambiance or the Aldebarran poetry?"

"Yeah Kickback, you halfwit!" Blueshift rolls his eyes at Kickback, before sitting on the desk next to Kickback, kicking his legs idly. "What sort of hellhole is this place anyway?"

Rolling his optics, Juggernaut looks around for a sign. "Dunno, but it's quiet. I needed some time to think, about Scorn and stuff." he replies to Kickback, aiming to knock Blueshift off the desk with a heavy swipe of his forearm.

".... Yes," Kickback says, jaunty demeanor shifting immediately into serious. He folds his arms. "What's happened to her is bizarre to say the least."

Blueshift has taken out a delicate box containings Juggernaut's birthday present, when he is cruelly knocked to the floor by Juggernaut, the box spinning out of his hands and the contents shattering. "You accidently hit me," he says to Juggernaut, picking up the box and handing it to him. He looks at Kickback. "I had Scorn marked as a filthy traitor from the very beginning"

"You have *everyone* marked as a filthy traitor," Kickback sighs.

"Yeah, biz.. biza.. buz.. weird." Juggernaut responds to Kickback, plopping down on the desk next to him. Taking the box in his hands, the Insecticon can only imagine why the blue guy was carrying around a broken porcelin figure of Redshift winning all the things. "Wasn't an accident." he says, setting the box aside.

"She shortwaved me a message before taking off with those goofy Seekers."

Kickback does look surprised.

"... What was it?" he asks.

Blueshift sits back on the desk on the other side of Kickback. "Was it a SECRET message?" he asks. "I am good at code breaking"

"She said.." Juggernaut looks embarrassed and confused, all at the same time. "Chatterbug."

Blueshift frowns. "Is there an Insectron called Chatterbug?"

Juggernaut shrugs, "What's an Insectron?"

Blueshift says, "Well... you know... what you and Kickback are"

Kickback faceplatepalms.

"Oh." Juggernaut nods along, "I dunno. Kickback, you should like open up that weird looking thing and see what it says." he points at a datapad near the desk. "Maybe this place has like, records or something."

"Well, let's see what I can find," Kickback agrees, picking up the datapad and turning it on.

"By the way, it's 'Insecticon', Blueshift."

Blueshift snorts at Kickback. "I THINK I know what an Insectron is! Don't try to make me look foolish!"

The datapad boots up, as the owner is still lying there knocked out with smoke trailing from her. The screensaver is that of Redshift, crossing the finish line in an Olympics event.

After an initial search, it indicates that Insecticon service records are located in hall six, row nine, shelf three.

Blueshift looks at the datapad. "The colour is all wrong on this, it is red instead of blue. What a mistake"

Kickback hands it off to Blueshift. "Then fix it." He gets up, and heads towards the Insecticon service records. If nothing else, this is going to be an educational experience. Is he in there?

Blueshift takes the datapad and then continuously smashes it against the desk as if that will repair it. He then gets up and follows Kickback, drawing his ray gun as he goes. "Careful, it might be a trap!"

"Yeah, fix-it guy." Juggernaut says to the butthurt spaceship, before trodding along behind Kickback. A few datapad whacks off the desk later and Blueshift is traveling with them. "Heh, only if we're lucky. Thinking and no punching things makes my head hurt."

As they approach the area, a large tome listed 'INSECTICONS' stands out on the shelf.

"They spelt it wrong," Blueshift mutters (This is shocking, as it reveals Blueshift can read)

"Good thing I'm a thinker, then," Kickback muses. He draws the book from the shelf. "Wheel of morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn," he chuckles, booking up the databook.

Blueshift, meanwhile, has misunderstood what is going on, and attempts to move the bookshelf to uncover a secret door behind it.

The databook boots up, displaying the opening menu page.. with snazzy introduction for the uninformed!

- INSECTICONS -

In the beginning, there were three. Bombshell, Shrapnel, and some other guy no one liked. Then, there came more. Many more. After losing all three of the original Insecticons in the War of Autobot City in the terran year 2005, even more were introduced. This volume is an attempt to catalogue each individual and serve as a convienent resource, to be immediately forgotten afterwards.

Juggernaut just blankly stares at the screen, then looks over to Blueshift. "What are you doing?"

Blueshift looks back at Juggernaut, before using his twinky strength to topple the bookshelf. "I'm looking for the secret passageway behind the book which leads to Backfire's base. That's what the clue was, wasn't it?"

"Uh, sure." Juggernaut nods along with Blueshift, pushing over the bookshelf.. which causes a domino effect that topples over a line of them, straight to the entrance.

Kickback just... tries to block out Blueshift, as he searches for 'Chatterbug'.

"Aha!" Blueshift cries out in victory. Rather impossibly he has found a hidden door behind the bookshelf. It has the words "SEPTIC TANK" written on it. "I'VE FOUND HIS SECRET LAIR!" Blueshift calls out.

Ho-humming along out of the mechanical shop, Dustoff is casually meandering along when he hears the ruckus of bookshelves being toppled and Blueshift being overdramatic. Pausing, he makes his way towards the commotion and crosses his arms... No, nothing is said. Yet. After all, when it comes to the group before him, it seems that often times it takes a fair bit of processing power just to figure out what is going on. If anything, it should prove entertaining.

"HEY! YOU!" Blueshift points at Dustoff. "Climb into this doorway right now and tell us what you see?" He motions towards the septic tank doorway invitingly.

"Ignore that order," Kickback replies, searching through the database.

- Chatterbug -

Probably the most famous Grasshopper moded Insecticon, Chatterbug's service to the Empire was very distinguished and short. Known to endlessly talk without ever taking a break, it was rumored that he and Blurr had an ongoing feud to see who was more annoying. He once recounted the entire Cybertronian Civil War in half a cycle, immediately earning a Galvcannon for his effort. Was well known for being able to produce seemingly silent high pitched frequencies that other Insecticons could hear.

For other lesser known Grasshopper Insecticons, see: Kickback

Dustoff makes his way towards the door, giving Kickback a thoughtful look... "Uh, right. What I see." He taps the surface of the door and suddenly points in the opposite direction. "Quick! Look over there, Blue!" Yes, he heard Kickback... but first things first.

Kickback hmms and taps his chin with his first finger, thoughtful. This might be a clue indeed. He does not tell the others what he's learned.

Out of morbid curiosity, he decides to see if there's anything in the database about himself.

He might need to erase it.

Blueshift turns his head and looks in the opposite direction. "What? What? What? What? What?" He continues to stand there, staring. "What?"

- KICKBACK -

CLASSIFIED

Dustoff bangs on the door while Blueshift's not looking. "Thought I saw something... Red. And Blue. With an ugly face. Probably a ladybug." He knocks on the door again, pretending all the while to have shut it. "You're...not going to like what's in here, bud."

Kickback 's antennae wobble back and forth once, an indicator of curiosity and surprise. He attempts to see what sort of security clearance is on the classification ... and if he can hack it.

Juggernaut pushes Dustoff out of the way, ripping the door off it's hinges and dives in. "LEMME AT 'EM!!"

Dustoff blinks and is shoved. He hits the groud with a grunt...and just makes sure to roll out of the way of what's coming. "Oh. No. Please, be careful," he offers in only the most sarcastically mocking of tones... yeah, let's make sure he's recording this for later laughs.

Blueshift leaps into the air as Juggernaut rips the septic tank door off its hinge, instantly flooding the library with sewage. "IS BACKFIRE IN THERE?" he shouts

Juggernaut says, "IF HE IS, HE SURE STINKS!"

Kickback has leapt up to a high bookshelf to avoid the effluvience as he hacks.

Blueshift hovers in the air, before balancing on the top of a toppled bookcase. "Could he have transformed himself into some sort of brown sludge monster?"

Juggernaut hovers up from the waste with a disappointed look on his face, slapping the databook from Kickback's hands. "Having fun yet? Find what you needed to??"

Dustoff just...finds a spot to stand atop the bookshelf toppled earlier. Apparently with Blueshift. "I did say you wouldn't like what's in there." He frowns and looks at the sewage flooding the floor. "Uh, and...no, I find that highly unlikely." He pauses. "Not impossible, just unlikely," he clarifies, for Blueshift.

Kickback loses the datapad he was trying to hack. "You idiot!" he snaps as it falls into the wastewater, LOST FOREVER. There could have been a further message in that!

"Juggernaut I NEEDED THAT!"

"Well..." Blueshift considers this. "Just in case, we should shoot it." He takes out his gun, and starts shooting at the sewage water in case it is Backfire in disguise

Unfortunately, it is not Backfire in disguise. Just sewage, which smells worse now because it is burnt sewage.

"YEAH TAKE THAT!" shouts Blueshift

 Blueshift says, "We have found Backfire's secret base and killed Backfire!"

 Blueshift says, "I can say this with one hundred percent certainty"

 Kickback says, "No, you have found the septic tank, and burned sewage."

 Contrail says, "How many times have you already killed backfire this week?"

 Blueshift says, "This would be the third"

 Blueshift says, "But I am SURE this time"

 Contrail says, "Mmhmm."

 Kickback says, "He gets an 'E' for effort."

 Blueshift says, "There was a secret door and everything"

 Contrail says, "Kickback, do I need to come out there?"

Dustoff turns off his olfactory sensors for good measure. "Uh huh... you showed it." He looks down at the waste and just reaches in to nab the data-pad... He'll sterilize that hand later. Maybe. Hopefully before operating on anyone and contaminating their energon systems. As for the data-pad, he gives it a light flick before cracking open the case to get at the storage cores.

 Dustoff says, "Yes."

 Dustoff says, "Highly recommended. Bring waders."

 Contrail says, "You aren't Kickback, mysterious voice, but I guess you'll do!"

 Dustoff says, "I'm Kickback in clever disguise. Which I will deny promptly to confirm this fact."

The Decepticons are in the Darkmount library. SOMEONE has knocked down all the bookshelves, and the floor is covered in sewage as SOMEONE has bust open the door to the septic tank

Contrail remembers that she can hover in robot mode for this episode, which is convenient as she make sher way to the Darkmount Atrium and... "...I didn't realize that Nebulans produced that much waste."

Kickback sits atop a bookshelf, sort of staring beyond the chaos erupting around him, resting his hands on his knees.

 Contrail says, "Imperial memo: reduce the amount of fibre in Nebulan diets immediately."

 Kickback says, "It's just Blueshift being Blueshift again."

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "We need another librarian."

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "The present one seems to be dead."

<Decepticon> Contrail says, "Do we know how he died?"

<Decepticon> Dustoff says, "For Blueshift to state he's killed Backfire means something had to die."

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Blueshift shot her for looking at me."

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "I guess that meant she was a 'traitor'."

<Decepticon> Contrail sighs.

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "She SMILED at him"

Blueshift waves at Contrail from atop of another bookcase, and points at Kickback with a conspiratorial wink

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "She was smling at *you*."

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Why would she do that? I am not a traitor"

<Decepticon> Dustoff says, "I'll haul her to the shop and see if I can get her back online."

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Maybe she liked you."

<Decepticon> Contrail says, "Are we sure that Blueshift isn't actually Backfire in disguise?"

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Doubtful she does *now*."

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "I've wondered."

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "I did have that thought Contrail, but after a day spent torturing myself, I decided that I was not"

<Decepticon> Contrail says, "Kickback, could you nibble on Blueshift to determine if he tastes like Backfire?"

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "That sounds fascinating, but I have not tasted Backfire. I have no point of reference."

<Decepticon> Contrail says, "Curses!"

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Well Backfire turned himself into the sewage on the floor, so taste that first, then taste me"

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Most seekers have a very piquant flavor that is suitable to pair with a dry white wine."

Dustoff glances at Contrail. He's busy ripping open a data-pad to retrieve the data cores, tossing the rest of the garbage back into the sludge flooding the area.

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Most sewage is bitter."

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Let's see if you taste bitter."

After listening to Kickback, Blueshift slips off the shelf and onto the sewagy floor, standing over the still-smoking body of the librarian. "So..." he asks bashfully. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

Kickback hops down off the bookshelf and strides right through the effluvient towards Blueshift.

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Hold still, Blueshift, I'll make this as painless as possible."

Contrail looks at Dustoff. She doesn't actually know who he is, though she thinks she maybe saw him in the crowd yesterday. Contrail makes a mental note to pull his dossier at the next available chance. "...so, Backfire... turned himself into sewage? And Blueshift killed the librarian. Do I have this straight?"

<Decepticon> Harrow says, "Are you killing Blueshift?"

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "No, we have killed Backfire, harrow"

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "We found his secret base in the library"

<Decepticon> Harrow says, "What!?"

Dustoff pockets the data cores in a compartment before following Blueshift. "No. She's got other plans, Blue. Sorry to break it to you. Why didn't you tell me there was a body..." He grabs the librarian and drags her towards one of the toppled shelves, away from Blueshift, and just kneels to get to work, frowning. "Who the scrap taught you to shoot, Blue?"

Blueshift salutes at Contrail. "Yes sir! The Insectrons found a clue that led us to a secret door behind a bookshelf marked 'septic tank' or some sort of secret code, and Backfire was hiding in it, having used some obviously alien technology to turn himself into a goo monster."

Kickback says, "Blueshift shot the librarian for looking at me, then pushed over a book case, and opened a septic tank behind the bookshelf." Kickback takes out a piece of chalk and begins drawing on Blueshift, marking out sections such as 'chops' and 'rump roast',."

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "No, he found a septic tank."

<Decepticon> Harrow says, "..."

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Yes, that was his secret hideout, keep up Kickback"

<Decepticon> Snapdragon says, "Goodie!"

<Decepticon> Dustoff says, "And made a mess. Good news is, I get to practice on the librarian.."

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Don't hurt her, we have a date later!"

<Decepticon> Dustoff says, "No you don't."

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Well she didn't say NO"

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Blueshift, would you say your arm shank or eye of round is more tender?"

Contrail is forced to listen to Kickback's account of the story, because Kickback isn't Blueshift. She prompts, "...why did you decide to investigate the library? It's... not the first place I would look for Backfire."

<Decepticon> Dustoff says, "I'm putting her on bedrest. And ICU, and you're not listed as one of her visitors. So, no. You don't."

"Juggernaut wanted to speak to me," Kickback replies.

<Decepticon> Harrow says, "Librarian?"

"BECAUSE OF THE CLUE!" Blueshift half-shouts at Contrail, before toddling over to Dustoff and looking down at the librarian. "Hey, you look uh... smoking," he says, as smoke curls off her body

"...in the library?" Contrail prompts.

"That's where Juggernaut was," Kickback answers. He reaches over to try to snap off a little piece of Blueshift's wing.

Dustoff looks up from his work and shoots a glare at Blueshift. "Want me to break you so you can have the next bed over?" He waits for a response before going back to his work, reaching into a compartment for a few tools as he goes back to it with a whistle.

There is a horrible crack and Blueshift's entire left wing falls off at Kickback's touch. Blueshift doesn't notice this at all.

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "She was a suspected traitor, Harrow"

<Decepticon> Dustoff says, "My guess is no. No she wasn't."

Kickback's holding a wing.

He bites into it like a slice of watermellon.

<Decepticon> Snapdragon says, "Blueshift."

<Decepticon> Snapdragon says, "Can you bring the septic tank to the base, please."

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Well, if we all went by GUESSWORK the whole time, noone would get anything done"

<Decepticon> Kickback, around a mouthful of something, "Mmn. Rich, bold flavor... well marbled with protons..."

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "... Vector Sigma, Blueshift, you're *delicious*."

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "It's sort of inside the library wall, Snapdragon"

<Decepticon> Snapdragon says, "Well then."

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Why Kickback, you're rather stunning yourself"

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Would you care for a bite of yourself?"

Contrail spreads her hands and says, "I just think it's weird that Juggernaut would want to meet in the library, okay? Anyway, what did Juggernaut want to talk about? Why is Blueshift even here? ...why is the other guy here?"

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "I wouldn't say no"

Blueshift turns to Contrail and salutes. "I have been keeping a close eye on the Insectron traitors, as ordered! Sir!"

Dustoff doesn't even look up from the work he's doing on the librarian, pulling a rather interesting looking set of clamps out of a compartment to help control energon loss on the librarian...or to keep sewage out. Ugh. "Medic." It's all he says, pointing at the librarian. "Heard crashing noises. Found this. Doing work."

Kickback hands the wing to Blueshift, and answers Contrail. "Juggernaut wanted to talk to me about Scorn," he says. "For some reason he was here, looking up Insecticon records. Dustoff, you have the data cores for that log."

Blueshift takes his wing, casually takes a bite, and then passes it on to Contrail. "Juggernaut had a secret clue from Scorn!" he announces

<Decepticon> Harrow says, "...Kickback."

<Decepticon> Harrow says, "Are you all right?"

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Kickback, this is delicious, is there any more of this?"

Dustoff mmhms. "I do. And the primary storage. No power source, though." He pauses to pull the box he stowed the cores in off his pack, setting it on the shelf next to the librarian before resuming operations.

Contrail finds herself holding Blueshift's wing. She stares at it. Is she going to have to take a bite just to act casual and fit in? Decepticon peer pressure is the worst.

Combat: Contrail compares her Intelligence to Blueshift's Leadership: Success!

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "Blueshift, you are *made* of this."

Contrail thinks better of it and tries to hand the wing back to Blueshift.

<Decepticon> Kickback says, "And yes, I'm fine."

Blueshift takes another bite, and hands it back to Kickback

Kickback takes it back, and eats it grasshopper style: Ie, back and forth, like rows of kernels on corn.

Contrail covers her face with her hands, and she asks, "Do we know /which/ records he was looking up?"

"Chatterbug," Kickback says around a mouthful of Blueshift wing.

Dustoff shakes his head. "The data-pad was shorted out in the sludge mess, though." The sludge he's currently kneeling in to work... ugh. He's going to stink until he can powerwash this off. There's a series of sparks from the librarian, forcing him to lower the protective visor over his eyes from his helmet. "Woah...easy there... Hmm..." He resumes whistling while he works.

Contrail feels like she is trying to pull turbine blades out of an engine. "Chatterbug. Who is he?"

"A short-lived Insecticon, locust type like myself," Kickback explains. "Apparently all his talking got him Galvcannoned, but he could communicate with other Insecticons on alternate high-frequencies. Apparently this is a clue to what's going on with Scorn. I think she feigned going willingly... She's a smart girl. She may have gone to get to Backfire in person."

Dustoff doesn't look up from his work. "Chatterbug? You don't know the bug? Heh. Best hopper out there, by far. Could talk the ear off an earless mech... phenomenal at his work, and very thorough. I'm surprised more don't know about him..." He looks at Kickback as a rather counter-explanation is offered.

"... I was kind of dead," Kickback retorts.

Dustoff mutters, "Excuses, excuses," before getting back to work on the librarian.

Blueshift points a finger at Kickback. "You're a locust, are you Chatterbug? I mean, I thought Kickback was dead?" He looks at Contrail. "Contrail, Scorn is obviously a filthy traitor. We should activate the brain bomb in her. We DO have brain bombs in all Insectrons, right?"

"I am NOT Chatterbug," Kickback snorts. There is the possibility that Chatterbug is one of Kickback's descendants through arcane cloning science, but without a body, there's no means of getting a paternity test. "And yes, I was dead, I distinctly remember getting my head run over by Hot Rod - you can imagine my surprise to learn that he's *Prime* now - but after that things just sort of go black and then--"

He pauses. His body locks up a moment and his mouth is open as if he's going to keep speaking, but he doesn't.

Contrail demands, "Other guy, go give Kickback CPR."

Blueshift immediately starts to give Kickback CPR

Dustoff retracts the faceplate on his helmet so he can hold one of the clamps in his mouth as he reaches in to connect something. "Vhey onvy avreed iv vou haf one too..." He takes the clamp, reaching into the fissure caused by Blueshift's shot...and hah! Optics come online. "There...we go... stabilized." He looks back at Kickback as the bug goes quiet... "Uh, Blue, you didn't break another one, did you?" He sighs, hooking up an energon IV to the librarian before- and then there's Blueshift. He goes to pull the one-winged wonder off the bug. "Can I break this one? Promise I'll put him back together. Eventually."

Blueshift wheels around as Dustoff tries to manhandle him. "Contrail, this idiot is trying to stop me from saving Kickback's life. Perhaps he is the traitor!" He raises his ray gun. "Permission to terminate him!"

MEMORY MODULE NOT FOUND. DATA FRAGMENTATION 89%. REROUTING NEURAL NEURAL NETWORK TO AVOID FATAL SYSTEMS CRASH. SYSTEMS RESETTING IN 3 ... 2 ... 1 ..}

WARNING. SENSORS INDICATE INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE BY BLUESHIFT. SITUATION: MAKE OUT SESSION. APPROPRIATE RESPONSE NEEDED. REBOOT IN PROGRESS.

Kickback suddenly jerks to life as Dustoff pulls Blueshift off him. He startles, and then smiles coyly, placing a hand over his chestplate.

"Oh my~."

Dustoff is quick to have his own rifle out, levelling it at Blueshift in response to having a weapon drawn on him. "Stand down or I will /make/ you stand down." He glances at Kickback briefly as the insecticon comes back online without direct intervention before letting his attention settle on Blueshift once more.

"You back down!" Blueshift takes out a second ray gun, aiming it at Dustoff's face. "You started it!" He looks over at Contrail. "Look at him, he's obviously a traitor, can I murder him?"

Contrail covers he face with her hands again. Oh Straxus, what is even going on here? She's been asking questions, and she still has no idea. Contrail rubs her chin and holds up a hand, waving Blueshift off. She shakes her head and says slowly, "No, no, Blueshift, I need you to save up your special murder powers for a different target. You cannot waste them on such minor targets. You see, I require... the hands of Jazz."

Blueshift lowers his gun. "You mean... you want Jazz hands?"

Dustoff hears Contrail, but his focus remains on Blueshift. At least until the order is given. He slowly lowers his gun as well, stowing it proper before turning to check Kickback over. "Alright...let's see what managed to break, eh?"

Contrail looks left and right, and she says, "Yes, I thought that was obvious."

Blueshift nods slowly, stroking his chin. "Okay. Do you want a left and a right one?"

"Yes, if at all possible," Contrail replies, trying to keep Blueshift busy with something that he will /probably/ accomplish in some strange fashion.

Kickback holds out a hand. "It's nothing," he reassures, steading himself, getting back to a stand in the... still stinky environment. "I shouldn't have tried to recall anything past Autobot City. I black out."

Dustoff narrows his optics and shakes his head slowly. "I see... well, whether you think it's fine or not, I'm setting up a scheduled diagnostic check on your memory algorithms and subroutines. Don't worry...it won't be me. I'm just the field guy...probably'll get handled by someone in the Swarm." He just does a quick check, but seeing nothing outright and obvious, he turns to make his way back to the librarian, checking vitals.

"I've already been checked over," Kickback explains. "... Soundwave was very, very thorough."

Contrail grumbles, "Soundwave should have set you up that you don't need CPR from Blueshift." ...wait. Where is Soundwave, anyway?

Kickback snorts. "I don't need CPR from Blueshift -- wait that was CPR?"

Dustoff hmms. "Whether Soundwave was thorough or not, you got hit by it again. Gotta make sure there's no damage caused by the blackout." He nods slowly, satisfied with the results. "Eh...she'll make it. Most likely. Might take a bit." He looks back at Kickback. "No, it was not. It was, however, his idea of what CPR should be."

"...what did you think it was?" Contrail asks, half-horrified.

"Slytheen courtship ritual," Kickback replies.

The librarian's life-support monitor beeps as it is interrupted by something. Dustoff coughs and goes to tend to it. "A /what/?" He shakes his head. "No, you know what? Nevermind. Don't want to know..."

"You know, at one point I *was* a cultural investigator," Kickback sighs, folding his arms. "There's a lot of now useless knowledge on other races that litters my data banks. I'm pretty sure some of these races have gone extinct by now... "

"... Maybe even due to my efforts," he mutters under his breath.

Dustoff huhs... He shrugs. "Well, cheers to your Encyclopedia Uselessica." He frowns, adjusting the rate of flow on the Energon IV. "There we go... Well, uh... I should see this wreck of a lady back to the repair bay proper." He points at Kickback. "And you... I've set up an appointment for a basic review to make sure everything's in working order following that shutdown. Nothing invasive. But I expect you to be there. Either that, or I get to hunt you down and find other reasons that require you to be there."

"Is that a challenge?" Kickback grins - in a friendly manner.

Contrail turns to Dustoff and says, "I'd like a copy of your findings on Kickback. If one of my men is at less than optimal performance, it concerns me, and I would see steps taken to rectify it."

Dustoff grins, fixing the IV on his pack before shouldering it so it can continue to work while he hefts the librarian. "Never challenge a medic... we can totally forget to turn you back on after we fix you." He starts for the mechanical shop. "If...we remember to fix you. And, yeah, consider it done, Ma'am."

Kickback laughs. "Very well, you have me at your disposal." He points a finger upwards. "*if* you can find me."

Dustoff chuckles softly. "If indeed... But if you go missing to avoid the checkup," he turns, pointing at Contrail, "It's not me you have to worry about. It's your boss." He pops a wry smirk and informal salute before carrying on, whistling all the while.

"Tell you what - why don't you meet me in my residence for that little checkup. I'll be more at ease and you'll have assistance," Kickback offers. "Deal?"

Dustoff pauses, giving it consideration before nodding. "Fine. Wouldn't call myself a field medic if I didn't go to where I was needed." He grumbles at the notion all the same. "No eating me, though."

"Medics are far to valuable to eat," Kickback retorts, sounding mildly offended.