Crankcase

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"Things are as never good as they seem."

A wheezing, whining ingrate. As welcome as a rash of rust-rot. The worse things get, the happier he is. Enjoys complaining about everything. Equipped with vast memory storage capacity and shell-resistant armor. Also equipped with infrared probes that penetrate and analyze enemy circuitry. Armed with two high-impact laser blasters and a distortion modulator that scrambles enemy cerebral impulses.