2033 Olympics: Team Combat: Barkida & Bonecrusher versus Blades & First Aid

Mon Aug 13 2033

&lt;Earth&gt; Glittery Magic Fusillade says, "TONIGHT! I present to you, a Lightweight match made heavier by the atmospheres of Venus! Barrrrrrrrrrrrrrkiiiiiiida, Fourth to Diiiiiiiiiiie! Pairing up with a Decepticon with a name to match the atmospheric pressure! Boooooooooooonecrusherrrrrrrrrrr!" Her enthusiasm for the Decepticon-containing team is apparent. "Versus the good guy in white, First Aid, ready to put you back together after gyroscopic badguy Blades takes you apart, it's the Protectoooooooooooooooobots!!""

&lt;Cybertron&gt; Fusillade says, "TONIGHT! I present to you, a Lightweight match made heavier by the atmospheres of Venus! Barrrrrrrrrrrrrrkiiiiiiida, Fourth to Diiiiiiiiiiie! Pairing up with a Decepticon with a name to match the atmospheric pressure! Boooooooooooonecrusherrrrrrrrrrr!" Her enthusiasm for the Decepticon-containing team is apparent. "Versus the good guy in white, First Aid, ready to put you back together after gyroscopic badguy Blades takes you apart, it's the Protectoooooooooooooooobots!!""

Venusian Orbit

The swirling green dot that is Venus flows before you as it moves in its backwards orbit about the Sun, unmolested.

Contents:

Redshift

Fusillade

Barkida

Bonecrusher

First Aid

Decepticon Research Station &lt;FERROX-1&gt;

Shrouded in baleful shrouds of puce and ochre colored clouds, Fusillade descends in bombee mode toward the oppressive surface of Venus. "Oooh-ooh-WEE!" she emits toward an attending camera-bot, "It is HOT AND HEAVY here today in the lower atmosphere of Venus. Wouldn't expect anything less." She transforms, toes hissing from the contact with the compacted surface. "You could bake a pie on these rocks, and that's not even countin' the volcano behind me!" she slowly gestures with a thumb over her shoulder. "This pressure cooker is roastin' us at fifty times the atmospheric pressure of Ee-yarth, so once I am done announcing our contestants and event, I am going over THERE -- " She languidly gestures with a wingblade toward a climate-controlled tent, before flicking the weapon back and forth in front of her as a large, showy, and frankly ineffectual fan. "TONIGHT! I present to you, a Lightweight match made heavier by the atmospheres of Venus! Barrrrrrrrrrrrrrkiiiiiiida, Fourth to Diiiiiiiiiiie! Pairing up with a Decepticon with a name to match the atmospheric pressure! Boooooooooooonecrusherrrrrrrrrrr!" Her enthusiasm for the Decepticon-containing team is apparent. "Versus the good guy in white, First Aid, ready to put you back together after gyroscopic badguy Blades takes you apart, it's the Protectoooooooooooooooobots!!" She raises hands and fans to the sky a few times to rally cheers, before trudging back to the tent, huffing and quaffing coolant.

Fusillade ohs after she has recovered from her vapors, "And now, the coin toss!" "Someone from each team, call heads or tails!"

Bonecrusher hasn't gotten to break anything since Iacon. And that... well, it was disappointing. So it's well past time he had himself a fix: he almost can't even run in a straight line as he crashes out of the drop ship that brought he and his odd teammate Barkida to Venus, charging out at full speed and waving his laser pistol, bareful noticing the heat. "Booooonecrusher is rrrreeady to BUST UP these Olympics and put the HURT on these two squirts, yeeeah. Yeah, gonna beat up these Protectobots PLENTY BAD!" He points at Barkida. "I hope you're ready to kill something because I'm rrrrrready to kill something, dig it?"

First Aid leans over to Blades as they emerge from the drop ship, "This really is a pretty planet, all things considered," he whispers while Fusillade gets her WWF Announcing groove on. He's not really listening to her, as the swirling clouds and pleasant heat has his attention instead. He'd love to take Amber, Andi, Jayson, and all the other humans here... y'know, if it wouldn't make their eyeballs melt. At the mention of the coin toss, Aid confides with Blades, "Heads? Should we go for heads? I'm thinking heads."

"OHH yeah!"

Barkida steps off the Olympic shuttle from the Swordfish with her teammate, ready for battle! More importantly, ready for Venus, thanks to goggles, rebreather mask, rubberized athetic tank and shorts, and a thin layer of translucent gel over her skin, which seems to be sufficient to protect her from a caustic atmosphere which would simultaneously crush, suffocate, and poison a human in moments. "Machine-man, be mindful," she warns the short green brick house which is Bonecrusher. "The doctor-machine is battle-wise despite his harmless appearance. Guard yourself." She shrugs a quiver of javelins into a better position over her shoulder and draws her weapon from its sheath along her thigh; it appears to be a black iron rod about six feet long and eight inches thick, and as she draws it it reshapes itself into a long and slender spear with a sound like a fingertip rubbed over wet glass, barely audible over the tectonic rumble of the active volcano behind her. "Durandal, the Star's Gift," she announces formally, and points it at Blades. "Swordsman, I am here to test your skill at arms! Let the matter be decided; we will take heads!"

"Uh, heads it is," Fusillade points at Barkida, whose voice carries over the rumbling volcano. With the back of one hand against her forehead as she positively LANGUISHES on the oversized fainting couch, she flips the coin with her other. The atmospheric pressure means that it barely gets a tumble before it THUDS to the rocky, acid-etched ground.

GAME: Barkida rolls a (2)-sided die:

ROLL: Fusillade rolled a 2

Blades pulls one of the blades off his back and coolly looks Bonecrusher and Barkida up and down. (This is maybe why Blades has problems with his helicopter blades breaking too often; because he keeps stabbing people with them.) Bonecrusher, Blades has no qualms with smearing across the surface of Venus. In fact, he says lowly to First Aid, "It'll be a prettier planet when the greenie's in pieces all over the place." Barkida... well, Blades isn't entirely thrilled about fighting some fleshie alien, but he imagine that it'll give First Aid some trouble, mentally, so he steels himself. Someone will need to do it. Might as well be Blades. It usually is. He laughs, "Swordsman? You got me wrong, there. I'm a lot more... lowbrow than that, lady," and he smiles rather nastily. Streetfighter, yes.

First Aid steps forward, "Barkida? I just want to say that I'm really looking forward to sparring with you. You've been a true ally to the Autobots, a good friend, and a dependable individual. I'm really glad we've had you on Earth this past while. So while I am going to try my very best against you, it's only in the spirit of competition that I do so." He gives the Femaxian a respectful nod before turning towards Bonecrusher. "You on the other hand are kind of a dick, so I'm ok with fighting you." As Fusillade gives the ok, the Protectobot draws his sidearm. He did some research on how a photon pistol will handle the toxic Venusian atmosphere, and concluded that it should be fine. "You, Bonecrusher, should know that I am indeed ready to 'dig it', as it were, in order to see this through." After making sure that Bonecrusher is indeed ready, First Aid takes aim and fires!

Combat: First Aid sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: First Aid strikes Bonecrusher with his Photon Pistol attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Bonecrusher's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Blades really does relish the chance to engage in some close combat. He doesn't get to indulge himself nearly as often as he would like, but he has his duty, and that's more important than what he personally thinks is fun. Right now, however, his only duty is to his teammate and to not completely embarrass the Autobots on television. He rushes Barkida, trying to get inside the swing of her arms to make it difficult for her to use the full length of Durandal. And he tries for a scalp wound - those tend to bleed something fierce, all dripping down in the eyes. Pretty scary, even if it isn't super-dangerous. Blades is less articulate than First Aid and just says, "Yeah, whatever. Bring it."

Combat: Blades sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Blades misses Barkida with his Rotor Blade attack! [Pulled -3]

Combat: Drained 2 energon.

Bonecrusher looks at Barkida like she's a crazy giant person. "Dangerous?! HIM?! LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!" But then he doesn't tell anyone anything because he really needs to break something and it's starting to mess with his personality functions. And of course the first thing that happens is that the harmless robot shoots him in the face with a photon flash that completely screws up his optics.

"ARGHL!" Bonecrusher covers his optics in a moment of panic. "Blasted Autobots! I don't need to see to see you into the ground, you hear me?!" Yeah that made no sense. But he locks down on the trigger regardless, spraying a mass of laser in First Aid's general direction.

Combat: Bonecrusher sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Bonecrusher misses First Aid with his RAAAAAAAAAAAGE BULLETS! (Full-Auto) attack!

Barkida dips her spearhead respectfully towards First Aid. "I also respect your devotion to the causes of righteousness, First Aid. You have helped teach me the potential that your race has to do good in the galaxy, in spite of their history. I hold you no rancor. Let us meet with joy in the power of life, not seeking death!"

She drops into a defensive stance on the ground, her insulated sandals scattering gravel down the mountainside as she reverses the haft of her weapon and blocks Blades' swing with a clang, then responds, stepping in and turning her grip to try to clothesline him with the shaft of the spear.

Combat: Barkida sets her defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Barkida strikes Blades with her Clothesline attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Barkida (Barkida) used "Durandal": A Level 2 MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 11 damage.

Fusillade says, "Argh, just run off with each other already!" Fusillade bellows crabbily, a glistening sheen forming on her surfaces. "Bonecrusher's got the right idea, at least!"

First Aid refrains from giving a few choice retorts against Bonecrusher. Not because he doesn't want to, but because blinding your opponent doesn't work so well if you start shouting out your position after that. The split-second after Bonecrusher covers his optics, First Aid is on the move. The high pressure limits his maneuvering, but he manages to make a single leap that takes him far away enough from his old position that Bonecrusher's spray-and-pray tactic results in Aid escaping unharmed. Out of the corner of his optic, the doctor sees Barkida and Blades engaging in close quarters combat. Ignoring Fusillade's "suggestion", First Aid switches his photon pistol to a higher setting and takes another shot. This time he's aiming square in Bonecrusher's chest since it's the centre of mass and easiest to hit.

Combat: First Aid strikes Bonecrusher with his Photon Pistol - High Yield (Laser) attack!

Blades shoots a glare over at Fusillade and gets clotheslined by Barkida's spear for his troubles. He twists back, pulling his blade back with him, and then Blades tries to smack her spear away with his hand. He says idly, "Y'think this place stinks? 'cos I think it does. All the sulphur. And I think it's gonna be awful hard t'get outta all your clothes."

Combat: Blades sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Blades misses Barkida with his Smack! (Punch) attack!

Combat: Gained 1 energon.

Bonecrusher takes a step back with a growl, the photon blast hitting him square in the chest. "Oh so the doctor is into games? Well Bonecrusher only plays ONE game: Total destructomolition, YEAH! Time to get broke, Protectobot!" A lot of people don't know this because Bonecrusher is screaming nonsense most of the time, but he's mildly smart: at least, he knows a lot about measuring angles. They help with breaking things. So he takes his best guess at Frist Aid's location and springs forward with a sudden burst of speed aided by his anti grav units, punch fists outstretched!

Combat: Bonecrusher strikes First Aid with his double flying punch! (Punch) attack!

"You have the right of it," Barkida agrees, her accent warped by the speakers in her breathing mask as she struggles with Blades briefly. "I will burn these after the contest." Although he doesn't manage to put her on the back foot, she declines to break away cleanly, either. With a whispering ring her spear shortens and curves into a bill-guisarme, which she attempts to hook into Blades' back, and rip him as she withdraws!

Combat: Barkida sets her defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Barkida strikes Blades with her Hook Wounding attack!

Combat: Barkida (Barkida) used "Durandal": A Level 4 MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 12 damage.

Combat: Barkida's attack has strange and mysterious effects on Blades.

Combat: You can't seem to think straight...

First Aid squints, trying to see if he's managing to break through Bonecrusher's armour at all. He knows the Constructicon is tough, but hopefully he can delay him long enough for Blades to get the upper hand on Barkida. A quick glance in their direction suggests that isn't going so well, though. This momentary distraction is enough for Bonecrusher to charge in and hit him with a flying fist attack! The Protectobot takes it on the chin. His head snaps back as he goes flying across the battlefield, putting a sudden halt to his attempt to outmaneuver the Constructicon. As fate would have it, he lands (on his butt) near where Blades is getting his rear kicked. With Barkida withdrawing, Aid's optics widen. "Wait, hold on Blades! You have a... dang, what is it called, bill something? Billhook? Bill-gu...? Whatever it is, let me get it." Aid moves in to repair the damage with his laser fingers... but this might be a bad idea given what just happened to Blades.

Combat: First Aid sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: First Aid quickly patches up some of Blades's minor injuries.

Blades's back is ripped into, his energon and circuitry spilling out and tumbling into the carbon-dioxide and nitrogen atmosphere. Despite himself, Blades laughs, his optics unfocusing. A clear sign that Blades is ill, he draws his photon pistol, waving it around wildly. Blades exclaims, "Hey. Hey. I think... I must have licked Groove. Whoa." He stiffens as /someone/ touches him in the back, and he fires his photon pistol wildly, shouting, "Matrix-slag it, spiders!"

Combat: Blades's Photon Pistol attack on Barkida goes wild!

Combat: Blades strikes himself with his Photon Pistol Area attack!

Combat: Blades (Blades) used "Photon Pistol": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 4 damage.

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Blades's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Blades's Photon Pistol attack on Bonecrusher goes wild!

Combat: Blades strikes himself with his Photon Pistol Area attack!

Combat: Blades (Blades) used "Photon Pistol": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 4 damage.

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Blades's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Drained 7 energon.

Blades shoots himself in the optics. Twice.

Durandal reforms again, slinking back into Barkida's hand to shorten into a broad, leaf-shaped sword with a shallow bend in it as Barkida steps back, jumping over a lava stream to rest a moment; even her heavy-planet biology is tested in this environment! She just looks on in a mixture of satisfaction and puzzlement as Blades shoots himself with his flashy gun thing. That wasn't quite what she expected. "...the whims of battle are ever fickle," she remarks.

Combat: Barkida sets her defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Barkida takes extra time to steady herself. [Pass]

Bonecrusher smiles darkly with his faceplate that has no mouth to smile with as First Aid tries to help his teammate. And then crazy stuff happens with his teammate's pistol. "Time for a little two for the price of one action!" He transforms into his terrifying BULLDOZER mode, charging at the Protectobots with a viscious sounding 'tooot toooooooot!' as his bomb launching cannon takes aim and fires!

Bonecrusher decides to start destroying things as a bulldozer and turns into one.

Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt; strikes First Aid with his Concussion Bomb Launcher Area attack!

Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt; strikes Blades with his Concussion Bomb Launcher Area attack!

Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt; (Bonecrusher) used "Concussion Bomb Launcher": A Level 4 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 10 damage.

Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt;'s attack has damaged your Accuracy!

Fusillade wolf-whistles appreciatively at the destruction wraught by alt mode.

"Wait, no, hold on Blades!" First Aid shouts, but he gets cut off by several explosions. The doctor's optics fizzle into static, and then go dark. An undetermined amount of time passes (Aid's chronometer is suddenly on the fritz) and First Aid finds himself staring up at the swirling Venusian clouds. First Aid forces himself back up to his feet. He looks left and right, seeing Fusillade sitting on her butt and Barkida and the buzzdozer still here. Clearly however long he was out, it wasn't enough for the battle to end. Fighting the urge to hold his head in order to make the pain go away, First Aid shifts into ambulance mode, bringing his decrystallizer to bear.

First Aid folds down into Ambulance mode.

Combat: Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; misses Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt; with his Mine's Bigger attack!

Fusillade sits on her butt.

Blades has a harrowing moment where he is absolutely convinced that there are spiders on his face and that the best thing to do about the spiders is to shoot them.

Then Blades feels really, really stupid, and he stumbles around blindly while the grenade wave further trashes his optics, cussing up a blue streak, "Motherboard-fragging smelt! Grind my gears sideways! Just... swash-plate-slotting /clinker!/"

Now, he sincerely prefers getting down and dirty in hand to hand combat. It's only sporting. Ranged attacks are cowardly.

But Blades is willing to be called a coward if that is what it takes to do the deed. He transforms and unleashes a "smart" rocket at Barkida. The recklessly blind helicopter introduces, "You got your Durandal? Well, this is... Jim, I guess. I dunno. I don't really name these things, though maybe I oughta. Because they're pretty smart."

Blades transforms into his Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; mode.

Combat: Removed restrictions on SHATTER for your attacks.

Combat: Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; strikes Barkida with his Armor-Piercing Smart Rocket attack!

Combat: Drained 14 energon.

First Aid's systems are clearly still pretty out of whack, as he revs past the Constructicon at top speed. The Constructicon turns and follows, having a hard time closing the distance between himself and the Protectobot ambulance. "Come back here, medic! I've still gotta break you into tiny pieces! Still gonna SNAP INTO YOU!"

Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt; takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Ka-whamm! The explosion knocks Barkida off her feet and sends her sprawling, ears ringing and clothes and skin slashed by shrapnel. The concussion will leave a nasty bruise, too, but that's for later. As she picks herself up she casts about for her javelins, which were scattered across the ground. "A capable weapon!" she replies. Oh, one of them fell into the lava, that one she'll have to write off. But this one- her hand closes on another javelin and she comes up to her feet, runs a few steps forward, pivots and flings it up at Blades!

Combat: Barkida sets her defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Barkida misses Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; with her Cause of Incident: Foreign Object Debris (Ruckus) Area attack!

Combat: Barkida (Barkida) used "Ruckus": A Level 2 AREA-MELEE attack.

Combat: Barkida strikes Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; with her Cause of Incident: Foreign Object Debris (Ruckus) Area attack!

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt;'s systems indeed must be out of whack if /Bonecrusher/ was able to dodge him. The medic shifts back into robot mode and takes several steps back, dislodging and tossing aside the javelin Barkida threw at him. Tearing out a weapon like that would be bad for an organic, but First Aid has a superior robot body... unfortunately it's a superior robot body that needs to be fixed up, and so Aid seals up the wound Barkida just dealt him.

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; flips up into robot mode.

Combat: First Aid quickly patches up some of his minor injuries.

First Aid's pause to fix himself gives Bonecrusher tons of time to catch and murder him, though it would be crazy if he actually hit First Aid, since he's charging and screaming about breaking him and also he's a really loud bulldozer. "It's a shame you're made of flesh and morals, Barkida!" Aww, a compliment to his teammate before he smashes into First Aid as hard as he can.

Combat: Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt; strikes First Aid with his Killdozer attack!

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; transforms and more or less falls under the trajectory the javelin. Something that may or may not be galena snow crunches under his feet. Now than he can take stock of himself, he has component spilling out his back, and one of his optics is out of its socket and hanging down his face. Blades grins and draws his photon pistol again. He gives the weapon a stern glare and growls lowly, "I swear to slotting Primus, if you shoot me in the face again, I am snapping you over my knee. Don't think I won't." Then Blades extends his arm and tries to blind his opponents.

Repugnus approaches from the depths of space.

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; transforms into his Blades mode.

Combat: Blades misses Barkida with his Photon Pistol Area attack! Combat: Blades strikes Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt; with his Photon Pistol Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt;'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Drained 7 energon.

Barkida turns her face away in time for the dazzling flash of Protectobot sidearms to pop harmlessly before her closed eyelids. Hmm, that green machine is tall. Maybe tall enough... snatching up her unnaturally ductile sword and breaking into a sprint, Barkida charges towards Bonecrusher, who in turn is charging towards the Protectobots. She leaps, grabbing onto the rear deck of the giant rumbling dozer, vaults up again onto his roof, and hurtles herself into space with a bound of her tremendously powerful legs, Durandal in its falcata formation held over her head as she arcs towards Blades, descending on him from on high!

Combat: Barkida sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Barkida strikes Blades with her Snydermotion attack!

Combat: Barkida (Barkida) used "Durandal": A Level 4 MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 13 damage.

Combat: Barkida's attack has damaged your Firepower!

Combat: Barkida's attack has strange and mysterious effects on Blades.

Combat: Blades has been temporarily incapacitated.

Blades looks up to see the lady with the morphing sword coming down on him like a load of bricks. She manages to neatly skewer through his photon pistol and then the rest of him, too, adding an exit wound to the damage to his back. Coughing up energon, which dribbles down his lips, Blades sputters, "I. I think you just severed my primary motor chain," and he crumples over in a ditch, silent and motionless while his systems struggle desperately to get his secondary motor chain online.

First Aid steps back into the fray, firing several photon blasts at Bonecrusher that ricochet off his heavy duty armour. As Bonecrusher slams past him, First Aid sidesteps him... and almost does it. First Aid's left arm is taken off at the shoulder, giving the lime green Con a souvenir. First Aid peers at the gruesome injury and blinks. Ok, that? That is a bit out of his league to repair while on the battlefield. Now minus a limb, the doctor rushes forward as Barkida slams down on Blades. "Hey!" he calls out, trying to push her out of the way. Meanwhile, that arm? That arm Bonecrusher took? It gives Bonecrusher a smack upside the shovel The City of Steel style.

Combat: First Aid sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: First Aid strikes Barkida with his Ok work with me here. This is pushing Barkida out of the way with 16 strength while also using a severed arm to slap Bonecrusher because dammit The City of Steel was an awesome episode no matter what anybody ever says (Ruckus) Area attack!

Combat: First Aid strikes Komatsu D575A Superdozer &lt;Bonecrusher&gt; with his Ok work with me here. This is pushing Barkida out of the way with 16 strength while also using a severed arm to slap Bonecrusher because dammit The City of Steel was an awesome episode no matter what anybody ever says (Ruckus) Area attack!

Barkida snaps fuel and hydraulic fluid off her blade with a flick of the wrist and stands back, waiting for Blades to be ready. "Do you yield?" she asks First Aid, not complaining at his shove- she understands his priorities and his urgency. She definitely felt something break in there when she ran Blades through.

Combat: Barkida sets her defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Barkida takes extra time to steady herself. [Pass]

After Barkida's stunning show of teamwork awesome, Bonecrusher is so surprised by getting smacked around by a disembodied arm that he transforms, staring at the arm before looking back up at First Aid...and then over at Blades, lying there prone. "Well, looks like you're just mine for the picking, yeeeeah...The big flesh woman, she ain't got the stones, but Bonecrusher, he's got no qualms with making you hurt." And so he steps on Blades' face.

Bonecrusher stops destroying everything long enough to be a robot.

Combat: Bonecrusher strikes Blades with his Heel to optics! (Kick) attack!

Combat: Bonecrusher (Bonecrusher) used "Kick": A Level 2 MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 7 damage.

Combat: Bonecrusher's attack has damaged your Agility!

Blades is stuck in a ditch, paralysed. Bonecrusher steps on his face. One of his optics was already hanging out by a few wires. Now those wires snap, and Blades's optic goes rolling off into a lava pool. The stench of melting components mingles with the omnipresent sulphur. He feels helpless and powerless. He feels /furious/.

After a moment, his other optic flashes brighter, and Blades squirms out of the ditch, thoroughly dirtying himself with the Venusian soil. He shakes himself and transforms, taking aim at Barkida with another smart rocket. Blades says flatly, "Yeah, Bob says, 'No.' Actually, Bob says, 'Take your "yielding", set it on fire with the lava, and smoke it.'"

Blades transforms into his Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; mode.

Combat: Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; strikes Barkida with his Armor-Piercing Smart Rocket attack!

Combat: You are running low on energon!

Combat: Drained 14 energon.

Yield? First Aid hesitates, actually looking like he's going to say 'heck yes, ma'am, we yield'. But before he can do that, he feels the need to look over at Blades. "Blades, Blades, she's giving us the chance to..." First Aid trails off as Blades answers the question. He gives an apologetic look at the Femaxian. "Er, sorry, I guess not just yet. Check back soon, though!" He gives her a friendly nod before turning towards Bonecrusher, already transforming into ambulance mode. "Hey, Bonecrusher! How about you pick on someone your own intellect level!" He fires his decrystallizer, "Oh, wait, that'd just be you and Slugfest."

First Aid folds down into Ambulance mode.

Combat: Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; strikes Bonecrusher with his Laser attack!

Bonecrusher yowlps as he staggers backwards, armor on his dozer blade/chest piece becoming brittle and falling apart. "You...so it looks like we're fighting fire with fire..." He glares up at First Aid, and charges forward! "Somebody thinks he's funny! Somebody thinks he's clever! Somebody thinks he can win this! Well somebody can't!" Bonecrusher leaps at First Aid, and if this works he's basically just suplexing the crap out of the guy like Ogre manhandling a Nerd.

Combat: Bonecrusher strikes Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; with his millions and millions of tiny STFU AND EAT THIS SUPLEX attack!

Fusillade continued to swelter, idly fanning herself before she gives up, letting her arm and improvised fan fall to the ground. She levers a mike to her lips, and with a series of scratches and thumps, slurs out, "An for thossa you that haven't -MELTED-, the battle still lumbers on in Greenhouse Gas Capital of the Quadrant, this time in the form of rooooooad raaaaaaage!"

&lt;Earth&gt; Glittery Magic Fusillade says, "An for thossa you that haven't -MELTED-, the battle still lumbers on in Greenhouse Gas Capital of the Quadrant, this time in the form of rooooooad raaaaaaage!"

&lt;Cybertron&gt; Fusillade says, "An for thossa you that haven't -MELTED-, the battle still lumbers on in Greenhouse Gas Capital of the Quadrant, this time in the form of rooooooad raaaaaaage!"

Barkida swings for the incoming rocket, slashing it in half as she sidesteps, so that it doesn't strike her head-on; shrapnel thwacks into her back, blood spreading through the anti-caustic gel and running down her legs, but it could've been a lot worse. "Very well, then!" she replies. She may be out of javelins, but she has a science-fictiony-looking raygun on her belt, and she draws quickly and sends energy beams warbling back up at the defiant helicopter to try to bring him down where she can get at him.

Combat: Barkida misses Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; with her Glowing Concentric Rings (Laser) attack!

Combat: Barkida (Barkida) used "Laser": A Level 2 RANGED attack.

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; is contrary, at the very least. He putters out of the way of her concentric rings, blades laboring in the thick air, thk-thk-thk. Blades loads up another rocket, but this one is missing the warhead and some of the propellant - must have gotten damaged earlier, probably when she ran him through after jumping over the &lt;s&gt;moon&lt;/s&gt; Bonecrusher. Blades demands, "Where's your fighting spirit, First Aid?"

Combat: Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; strikes Barkida with his Armor-Piercing Smart Rocket attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: You are running low on energon!

Combat: Drained 2 energon.

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; /does/ think he's funny! First Aid /does/ think he's clever! Someone doesn't think they can win this, though, and if First Aid needed any more coaxing of this fact, he gets it in the form of Bonecrusher grabbing him and performing some kind of wrestling move that First Aid doesn't even understand. Aid shifts into robot mode out of instinct during this. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" First Aid says as he's lifted up. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he says as he's spun around. "Ieeeeeeeeeee!" First Aid says as he finds himself suplexed. With only one hand free (no, not the severed one), Aid tries to twist and fire into Bonecrusher's face at point blank range!

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; flips up into robot mode.

Combat: First Aid strikes Bonecrusher with his Laser attack!

Bonecrusher hits the ground pretty hard from the force of the blast, face smoking. "Looks like we're playing dirty now, is that it, Protectobot? No such thing as malpractice on the battlefield, noooo sirrrr..." He rambles as he acts: kicking a heel out at First Aid, hoping to trip him up, bring him to the ground. "I'M DONE playing with you, doc, dig it?!"

Combat: Bonecrusher misses First Aid with his Sweep the leg Johnny! (Kick) attack!

Barkida takes this one head on, or rather, in the belly, knocked back as the wind is knocked out of her by the weight of the rocket striking her directy. "Hmph! No quarter asked, then, I see!" As she stands back up, Barkida rushes towards Blades, springs over a lava flow, whips out her right arm and with a ringing sound Durandal narrows and extends into a thirty-foot spear, reaching upwards to try to pierce Blades' belly!

Combat: Barkida sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Barkida strikes Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; with her Piercing the Heavens! attack!

Combat: Barkida (Barkida) used "Durandal": A Level 4 MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 14 damage.

Combat: You are very aware that your life is in danger!

Combat: Barkida's attack has damaged your Strength!

Combat: Barkida's attack has strange and mysterious effects on Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt;.

Combat: You can't seem to think straight...

Combat: Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; falls to the ground, unconscious.

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt;'s undercarriage is raked but good, his internals spilling out, but worse, his sensory systems start malfunctioning again. Blades screams, "Oh, scrap-frag! What's /Scorponok/ doing here? Scorponok, I'm taking you oooout!" but his voice is fading as he is saying that, and then his whole rotor assembly manages to fall /through/ his main body, spinning out grotesquely as he crashes into a ditch, whereupon he catches on fire.

Blades is confused. Also scared. But mostly just unconscious.

"Annnnnd we have our first casualty! Blades drew the anger and weapons of Bonecrusher and Barkida, leaving First Aid to fend for himself! Are we getting into the endgame, folks?" Fusillade announcs in some relief, sitting up.

"Alley-oop!" First Aid exclaims as he jumps up, neatly dodging Bonecrusher's heel kick. "If you fought as well as you brag, you'd be unstoppable Bonecrusher. But as it is I think I'm starting to get the hang of y-" *SHRUNCH!* *WHAM!* *CATCHING FIRE SOUNDS* First Aid twists as he lands, seeing what happened to his brother in arms. "Ah. Well then." Aid breaks into a sprint... heading straight towards... Barkida! "We yield! We yield! We yield!" he calls out. Upon reaching Barkida, he circles around to make sure that she's between him and Bonecrusher.

"WOOOORRRRST AAAIIIIID!" someone heckles.

Fusillade scowls. "Oh for the love of -- BOOOOO! Boooo! You suck To the death!" She yells, serving more as peanut gallery than judge.

Bonecrusher stands as he hears the word yield, looking furious. He storms towards First Aid and Blades, weapon aimed. "This isn't over! Not by a long shot, no!" He looks out to Fusillade. "You hear him say anything?!"

First Aid says, "Go bug someone else, Repugnus!"

Repugnus pokes his head out over an acid dune or whatever the hell terrain is on Venus. "Aw, man, how'd you know it was me? Must have been my sexy voice!"

Barkida's weapon withdraws back into a sword, which she raises into the air for the judge's attention. "The Protectobots yield!" She eyes Bonecrusher narrowly. "There is no glory in brutalizing a defeated opponent." She keeps First Aid behind her.

Fusillade glances at Bonecrusher, and with a michievous flare of her yelow optics to Bonecrusher, balls up a fist and mashes it into the open palm of her fist.

Combat: Barkida sets her defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Barkida takes extra time to steady herself. [Pass]

Bonecrusher points at Barkida. "You best be stepping away, flesh creature, because I don't think THE JUUUDGEEEEES heard anyone say that they yielded!" He points his pistol at Barkida.

Fusillade says, "Naw, naw, ha ham we can stop, I am like, DYING out here, it's soooooo hot.""

Fusillade neverminds that she regularly orbits stars and re-enters atmospheres.

"Whew!" First Aid exclaims, "Thanks Barkida. I owe you one." Aid sloooowly steps out from behind her just in case Bonecrusher is going to make a move. If he doesn't, he'll head over to help Blades back up.

Bonecrusher transforms into a bulldozer and drives over to some rocks and beats them up.

Bonecrusher decides to start destroying things as a bulldozer and turns into one.

Barkida glances between the languid judge and Bonecrusher warily, but it seems the judge isn't mocking this time. "A worthy attempt," she replies to First Aid, and returns to the shuttle, visibly troubled. She's glad that she won, this puts her that much closer to a medal to bring back to Femax for the First One. But fighting alongside Bonecrusher... that might be problematic in the future.

Redshift comes into the area from Venus, coasting blissfully along.

'Winners: Barkida & Bonecrusher