Spin That *Mishap*

Lunar Colony - Craniax

Largely abandoned in the wake of the Decepticons' arrival and attack, the Ricerca lunar colony was once a thriving multi-level cityscape. In less than a day, the Decepticons turned its gleaming spires and anti-gravity roadways into a craterous, smoking wreck. Virtually the only aspect of it left standing in full is the powerful communications array at the center of the colony, an artificial plateau holding up a small bunker and a titanic transmitting dish.

Scorponok is here on a secret, stealth mission... to his astonishment. The Decepticons took the smallest shuttle they possibly could to avoid detection from Nebulos, which meant Scorponok was balled up inside and extremely irritated the entire time. Only when the ramp opened at their destination could Scorponok roll over onto his side and awkwardly crawl onto the surface. "Nnnngh... how annoying... the things I've had to do to further ZARAK'S ambitions!" he snarls, stomping onto the surface of the moon.

Cramped quarters, urgh. Guess who else was crammed into that tiny vessel with that giant aft of Scorponok's. Yes, Triggerhappy, since he is Blowpipe's partner. And ugh, all because the Autobots are currently beating Zarak's conniving brother at his own game. Believe it or not, even if Red Alert hadn't modified what had been said, he certainly hadn't told the entire truth. Of course he'd cut out a few things, here and there...to suit his purposes.

Anyway, Blowpipe is certainly not going to just let the Autobots have the last laugh. Nope! He is determined not to fail his older brother in this respect. Thus, Triggerhappy is stuck returning to Craniax with Zarak and Blowpipe. The Targetmaster nods as Scorponok complains. "Ugh, I know right? Hmph."

Scorponok snorts. "Well, I suppose we have to keep our little parasites SOMEWHAT happy, don't we, Triggerhappy? Hngh. Alright, Zarak, talk to your halfwit crony and organize this sham of yours so I can get out of here!"

At that, Lord Zarak pops off of Scorponok's shoulders and lands there in Nebulan mode. He scowls. "Now, Scorponok, if I didn't know better, I'd say you didn't appreciate me! Ahem... Bowpipe!" He looks at Triggerhappy's gun. "Of course, this is your show. Let us know where the players need to be on the stage!"

Zarak detaches himself from Scorponok!

"Heh. Yeah..." Triggerhappy nods at Scorponok's snort, much to Blowpipe's chagrin. Yeah, right, this little organic 'parasite' is part of the reason Triggerhappy can be more than just a drooling madmech. Ah, well. At least he's used to this kind of abuse. Could be worse...

The compressed air cannon drops out of the Targetmaster's hand, transforming before it hits the ground. "Zarak." he says, nodding before taking a moment to survey the landscape. "Hmm...well, who do we have at our disposal? Do we have additional Nebulan prisoners from Charr?"

Lord Zarak thinks for a moment. "Hmmm... sadly, no. We gave them all up! But I did make sure to bring along some Repticulans. They look virtually identical to Nebulans... even though they're actually lizards, not mammals. Their lack of hair will be a bit of an issue, though not too much since soldiers shave themselves nearly bald... and we only have six. Hm. We may have to take multiple shots of them, move their containment pod around now and then, make it appear as if they are in fact twenty and not six."

Blowpipe sighs, rubbing the back of his head. "...I suppose we will have to do well with whatever we have. So um...are these Repticulans intelligent enough to follow instructions or will we have to coax them with food or something? Well, let's have a look at them, anyway."

Lord Zarak sighs as he sends off a transmission, and soon a gumbycon is hauling out a containment pod full of six Repticulans who do indeed look like *bald* Nebulans. "Oh, they're quite intelligent, aside from their odd habits. Flicking their forked tongues out now and then... which reminds me." He keys into a frequency that the Repticulans can hear in a portable radio set up into their pod. "All of you, keep your forked tongues behind your teeth! If you don't, well... you'll be vacating that pod! Forcibly!"

The Repticulans hiss in their usual way--often described as very off-putting by more mammalian humanoids--but then seem to comply, none of them opening their mouths.

"Good, good." Blowpipe says, nodding as they appear to obey. He takes out an external comm device that probably resembles a super-advanced iPhone and hands it to a gumby. "Give this to one of them. And tell them to turn on the camera and then pretend the pod is being shot at by Autobots--be sure to express fear and confusion at this." He hopes these guys are good at acting.

The gumby, thankfully only about minibot-size--it's why he's here--takes the non-iPhone and slips it through a forcefield-shielded porthole into the pod. After the gumby spends a few moments unenthusiastically relaying Blowpipe's instructions via radio, one of the Repticulans takes the non-iPhone, activates the camera, points it at... somewhere? He's confused.

<p class="MsoNormal">"At yourselves," Lord Zarak radios to them. The Repticulans turn the camera towards their group in general, then, and begin to shrink away from Zarak, though their facial expressions are a bit bland. "It's a... start," Zarak says. "But you!" He points at one. "Remember what I said! No tongues! Yes... better." He rubs his chin. "Scorponok, let us help them express fear." He transforms back into Scorponok's head, and the Headmaster lunges forward, a claw extended as if to smash them. "RAAAAHHHH!" Scorponok screams.

<p class="MsoNormal">That does it--the Repticulans jerk away from Scorponok, and amazingly they all remember to keep their tongues firmly behind their teeth--even if some of them are baring those teeth in alarm! Zarak transforms into Nebulan mode again. "Hahaha! Yes, that's better!" Zarak says.

<p class="MsoNormal">Blowpipe watches, rolling his eyes a bit at first when the Repticulans appear confused at the phone. Come on, didn't they know what a comm device was? Ugh. But then Scorponok saves the day. Still, it looks way too staged.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">He shakes his head. "No no no, that won't do. We have to be more specific than that. Tell them to pretend they're recording some kind of journal, or just playing with the camera, or perhaps the camera was accidentally turned on. And then the Autobots start attacking the containment chamber! They're terrified that the shots might cause the pod to explode."

<p class="MsoNormal">The Repticulans listen to the new batch of orders, chattering to themselves in their hissing reptile language. They complain loudly about not signing up for this before Zarak detaches again and silences them with, well, "Silence! Focus, Repticulans! Do you want to go home or not?" The Repticulans grumble, and eventually, they choose one among themselves to fumble with the recorder for a moment. They record a few minutes of watching something in the distance, then, as if to cue them, Scorponok raises a claw again to frighten them.

<p class="MsoNormal">And of course it works--the Repticulans back away suddenly as if confronted with sudden danger! It's a bit more convincing this time.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Very good!" Blowpipe nods, encouraging them. "Now, shout in a frightened and panicked fashion about the Autobots shooting the container." he says, grinning unpleasantly.

<p class="MsoNormal">He then turns to his partner. "Triggerhappy! Make yourself useful, fire near the container, to recreate the effect." Man, maybe he should have directed Transformers instead of Michael Bay!

<p class="MsoNormal">Triggerhappy grins and obliges. "My pleasure." It's his favorite thing, after all. Though he may have some difficulty not actually hitting the pod. "Whoops." Yep, he accidentally hits a corner of it, and the framework starts to crack.

<p class="MsoNormal">Blowpipe shrugs. "Oh well--it can only help, right? After all, that did happen during the duel, right? Pretend an Autobot did it."

<p class="MsoNormal">The Repticulans exchange confused glances for a moment--shout about Autobots shooting them and not show their tongues? It helps, though--the look of genuine confusion could be interpreted as something else. That's especially true when laser blasts start smacking into the terrain around them, and they cower as expected. "Oh, no! Why... why are the Autobots shooting at us?" Another joins in: "Something's wrong with one of them!"

<p class="MsoNormal">The Repticulans' voices sound a bit off as they are trying to keep their tongues inside their mouths AND talk--but then, maybe someone would rationalize that as an auditory effect caused by the pod.

<p class="MsoNormal">They jerk away again as a stray blast hits the pod, eyes widening in alarm! "He... he's insane!" one says, though he means Triggerhappy.

<p class="MsoNormal">Blowpipe grins as he watches the show, then claps enthusiastically. "Excellent! All right--that should be enough." he says. Triggerhappy doesn't stop shooting right away but Blowpipe gives him a sharp look and he stops reluctantly. Easy enough to get him to start, stopping was the hard part. "Return the recording device to me, and we'll review the results."

<p class="MsoNormal">The Repticulans, showing a brief moment of shame once it's done, hand the communicator back through the forcefield to the short gumby, who hands it back to Blowpipe.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Good," Zarak says. "Now, what do you think, Blowpipe? What more can we do? Record some more lines and splice them into the radio communications the Autobots intercepted? That's an old one, heheh--you may remember, that one got me out of hot water over that phone call I made to Monzo, which the damned Nebulan press happened to obtain a recording of somehow."

<p class="MsoNormal">Blowpipe nods absently at Zarak's words as he views the footage, determining that it would suit their purposes quite perfectly. Some of the sound might need to be edited, but that shouldn't be too difficult. "Yes, yes. Some of the oldest tricks in the book can still be quite effective at times. Since the Autobots spliced out some of what we said, I thought it would be appropriate to splice in a few things of our own." he replies, smirking.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lord Zarak smirks back. "Excellent. It's fortunate the Autobots were foolish enough to do that. And even more foolish of them to be the ones to let slip that Fortress Maximus isn't quite right in the head anymore! Heheheh! That head, of course, being *Galen.* Ah, and that's not even taking into consideration the fun we'll have making it seem like it's the *Autobots* who played around with the audio." He looks at the Repticulans in their pod. "Hm. But it would be odd if we returned these aliens to the Autobots, looking as they do... reconstructive surgery, I think, is in order. They may pull up their original portraits from the fleet, but we can claim those were doctored."

<p class="MsoNormal">Blowpipe uploads the footage to the data network for later access, then looks back up at Zarak. "Heh, well--we all saw how he acted after you injected him with Dark Energon." he says, shrugging slightly, then nodding. "Hm, I wonder if the substance had the same effect on Galen as it did Fortress Maximus." he says thoughtfully.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lord Zarak hmms, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm... yes, yes. We haven't heard from poor Galen, have we? Blowpipe, try to manipulate the reporters into demanding that Fortress Maximus *and* Galen reveal themselves and prove that they haven't gone insane. I imagine the fools in the Autobots will likely not accede to that demand out of concern for him--and only STRENGTHEN our case in so doing. And even if they DO trot out Maximus, well, one of two things could happen. One, he might go berserk on live holovision. Two, he might force himself to act normally, but then, should his mind fail him again, we can record it, and use the recording to prove to the galaxy that he has in fact gone mad." He seems quite satisfied with that plan.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lord Zarak laughs. "And the fact that Maximus, in the latter scenario, tried to conceal his condition would make the damage from his inevitable breakdown even worse!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Blowpipe listens to Zarak, nodding as he speaks as his smirk grows. "Yes, yes!" He looks just as enthused about this plan as his brother does. "That shouldn't be difficult to do--they should already be concerned about Maximus', and thus Galen's state of mind. "In fact...do you think you could convince Scorponok to demand a civil audience with them? Perhaps to discuss the Coalition. Or if you cannot convince Scorponok, you could request Galen, with similar results. Either they will refuse, and they will look as if they are hiding something, or they will oblige, and will inevitably lose it at some point during the conversation...of course you can prod him in that direction if he seems reluctant. But I doubt it will be difficult, given his behavior during the latter part of the duel."

<p class="MsoNormal">Lord Zarak smiles. "Oh, I'm sure I can convince Scorponok."

<p class="MsoNormal">He transforms back into Scorponok's head, and there's momentary silence as the two think at each other. "Hnnngh... Blowpipe," Scorponok growls, staring down at him. "When I first set out to destroy Maximus, your species did not even walk upright yet. And you want me to... nh... entreat him to meet with me? Peacefully?..." He clenches his dental plates briefly. "...fine. I suppose it would be a fine opportunity to humiliate Maximus, though I would obviously prefer to *destroy him.*"

<p class="MsoNormal">Scorponok rises up into his robot mode, with Zarak forming the head!

<p class="MsoNormal">"Perfect." Blowpipe nods, smiling back as Zarak goes to commune with his partner. When Scorponok address him, he shrugs. "Yes, that is true. But, sometimes we have to show patience and restrain ourselves for the sake of a worthy end result. Destroying him with your own claws, while satisfying, may actually be less rewarding than destroying him by turning his own people against him. Think of it this way, Scorponok....if you tear him limb from limb, and leave his dismembered body to rot, Galen will become a legend on Nebulos, while Maximus will become that to the Autobots. They will be martyrs, their legacies given the highest regard--comparable even to that of Optimus Prime. Heroes who died in the line of duty, making the ultimate sacrifice for the rest of them. BUT! If you humiliate them, make them out to be a violent madmech and vicious madman--you turn their own friends and family against them...that to him...would be a far greater horror than dying slowly and painfully at your hands."

<p class="MsoNormal">Scorponok's teeth gnash at the thought of his nemesis living on--as a martyr! "NOOO! Fortress Maximus is to be an OBJECT LESSON, not A HERO OF LEGEND! RAAAH!" His claws slam into the surface of the moon over and over, successfully terrifying the Repticulans again. "Hnnngh.... HNNNNGH..." Scorponok eventually settles down, cheek twitching, and he straightens himself out. "...yes, you're right, little Nebulan. That would be a more fitting fate for him... heheheh... put down like a mad dog by his own friends! Yesss... hahahaha... YESSSS!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Whoa there! Even Blowpipe stumbles backward a little in fright as Scorponok nearly goes on a rampage at his words. But at least he'd gotten the reaction he'd hoped for. Still, Scorponok is huge. And scary. "Eh...right. Exactly! That is why you're doing this, Scorponok!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Scorponok points a claw at Blowpipe. "Then make it happen! For now, however, we should depart before we place ourselves in further risk of being detected by Nebulan sensors!" He begins to stomp back towards the shuttle, growling irritably as he packs himself in tightly again.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Yeah. Let's get going." Triggerhappy says, grabbing Blowpipe and also packing himself into the cramped shuttle. "Perhaps when we return, you could create a recording of your request to Maximus so that I can give it to the reporters?" Blowpipe suggests.

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===================== Reports =================================== Message: 9/57                     Posted        Author Triple N: Craniax (1)             Thu Aug 15    Triggerhappy --       The golden NNN again scrolls across the videopane, followed by a headshot of the female reporter named Mo from earlier. "Good evening and welcome to Triple N. Tonight we return to the developing story on the Craniax duel. Just a couple of days ago, we had...Slickflow--" She looks slightly repulsed at the mention of the name, but of course she's doing her best to hide it. "--on here, with what appeared to be live, unfabricated recordings of the Decepticons' comm frequency during the fight."

"However, we've just received new information from our sources--a video with audio taken from a phone carried by one of Scorponok's prisoners."

A small second screen appears in the upper right hand corner, then expands to fill the entire display. It is a somewhat blurry video of what appears to be a group of Nebulan prisoners inside a containment cell. The wall of the cell can be seen clearly, with the landscape of the barren Nebulan moon outside, though the actual people are mostly obscured from view. Perhaps someone had accidentally activated the phone camera. There are noises of laser fire outside, and the prisoners who are visible can been cowering with fear and confusion on their faces. "Oh, no! Why...why are the Autobots shooting at us?" "Something's wrong with one of them!" There is an audible CRACK as the structure of the cell starts to give way. "He's...he's insane!" Someone is heard crying out in panic. The video then cuts to blackness, and Mo returns to the screen. "Additionally, we've received another version of the recording Slickflow provided us with. It would appear that the Autobots left a few bits out of the recording, as well as tampered with Scorponok's words."

The same recording from the other report plays, except the parts that Red Alert had left out are there, such as the part where Blowpipe actually sounded very worried about his brother Zarak's well-being against the crazed Maximus:

"Didn't you see that look in his optics? He...he'll kill you! SCORPONOK LISTEN TO US!!"

And of course, Scorponok's words at the beginning and toward the end regarding his goal of infecting Maximus with 'Shockwave's little secret' are either nonexistent or in the case of the latter part, say something else instead:

"NO. The point was to kill him! But... it seems that I did not anticipate how this duel would affect Maximus. At least, it hasn't killed him straight away. Perhaps it still will."

Also Zarak's words are slightly different: "Indeed. And... yes, see what you can do about insuring it's clear that... *mishap* was the Autobots' fault, Blowpipe. Their deaths were unfortunate, but then, by turning on me they committed treason."

Mo finally looks back up at the camera when the recording is over. "So there you have it; the full, unedited version. But before you form your own opinion about the entire situation, we have one last tidbit to show you." She half-smiles at the camera at what she's about to say, "Believe it or not, when we approached Scorponok to request a comment from him on the matter--instead of crushing our interviewers and videographers on the spot, he had this to say." And with that, the display cuts to another video:

Scorponok stands in Memorial Square in Crystal City, addressing the camera directly. "FORTRESS MAXIMUS. Your Autobot propagandists have attempted to smear me, Zarak, and my forces with lies! It was you who killed the Nebulans, not I, or any other Decepticon! You have gone completely mad, and your destructive rampage is to blame for any loss of life. And if that is not the case, then I demand that you PROVE you have not gone insane! You will meet with me, in person, to discuss a possible cease-fire with this 'Coalition of the Brave.' Do that, and perhaps you can prove me wrong... but I highly doubt it, given what you've done!"

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===================== Reports =================================== Message: 9/58                     Posted        Author Triple N: Craniax (2)             Thu Aug 15    Triggerhappy --       Mo is back on screen. "So--now that you have at least two sides to this story, perhaps you'll be able to formulate a more informed opinion. This is Mo on Triple N, the Nebulan News Network. Stay tuned, as the story may continue to develop."

Cut to commercials.

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