Get Your RACE on!

An advertisement that has been circulating recently describes our set-up:

ATTENTION SPEED DEMONS OF THE GALAXY! The Velocitron Racing Assocation is proud to be hosting the open-roster race of the MILLENIUM! Think you're fast? Come test your mettle against the best racers in the galaxy, with a fabulous prize going to the winner! Don't care much for trophies? Then this is the race for you! The SuperScope XT1000 awaits the one in first place! With this targeting array, you'll be sure to never miss your mark! Send your enemies running like the wind, never to return! Participants will be served in the order they arrive, no sign-ups necessary! Just show up and get your RACE on!"

CUE: TODAY, right here, right now!

"Well, the crowds have really turned out in droves for this race today..." The Race Announcer broadcasts over the Velocitron loudspeakers. And indeed, it's true: large crowds full of all kind of species and races cram the stands, eager to see this mega-hyped racing event! Vendors cruise the stands, selling all manner of strange and wondrous (or possibly disgusting, if that's your thing) gastronomic delights.

The Announcer continues.... "Today's race is brought to you by Maccadam's Old Oil House. Try a refreshing flask today!!!.... Ok, folks, this is shaping up to be a very exciting event that we have for you today. We are VERY pleased to be able to inform you that one of our all-time racing champions, the amazing, ferociously fast Autobot BLURR, is here today!" At the mention of Blurr, the crowds cheer- the Autobot rightfully has a huge following. Fans scream his name and wave signs of support, while children hold posters of Blurr by the trackside, calling for his autograph. "But Blurr is facing several challengers for the title of fastest Cybertonian today.... Here we have Spinister, Hubcap, Shiftlock, Swindle, Misfire, and Blast Off!" The crowd cheers for each name- though not as loudly as for Blurr. "SO! Hold on to your hats (or whatever you might have), folks, and prepare to watch history be made!!!"

Singe glances up at Spinister in the stands. "We're racing?"

Spinister stares back down at the Neb, who nods. "I didn't think so..."

<>

From across the stadium, Hairsplitter just sighs. "Yeah...No sign yet. And as a reminder, everyone needs to fill our expense forms for any energon purchased from concessions. So...."

Military Gunnery Jeep  is hardly the fastest thing on the track. But who says he's here trying to -win-? No, he's here to make sure Blast Off owes him favors for a very, very long time.

And cash in on the betting and merchandizing afterwards, of course.

Blurr makes his way down to the track, and indeed, he does have quite a large following. He waves to the screaming crowds as they wave their arms, holographic banners, or any manner of noisemakers in the air and shout his name. He stops near the front of the grandstands, smiling at those begging for autographs and granting a few of them their wishes. The rest will just have to wait until after the race.

Finally, he makes his way all the way down to the track, and stands at the starting line, waving a few more times before he transforms and prepares himself for the competition to begin! The crowds roar their approval as they watch him transform--many of the money mongers have placed their bets on him today, which shouldn't come as a surprise.

Combat: Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> sets his defense level to Neutral.

<p class="MsoNormal">Revving his engines, Misfire's paint seems to be painted a more vivid shade of Magenta. A faint black strip accents his features and makes him seem almost like a racer. Aimless stands next to him, with an old style racing helmet and scarf, bellowing in the breeze, and racing glove which Aimless then pulls tight. Aimless looks at Misfire with a bit of a scowl. "I thought the card turned in said, Aimless and Misfire...Not just Misfire."

<p class="MsoNormal">Misfire emits, "Eh, they didn't let me add pets." Aimless whaps Misfire, "I ain't a pet!" Misfire emits, "Hey! I had to call in like five favors for this paint job and your racing cloths!" The pair then growl at each other.

<p class="MsoNormal">Shiftlock's here just for the excuse to race. She doesn't care about winning - though that would be nice - but really, no one's winning but Blurr. Everyone knows this by now. It's so much of a given it would almost be disheartening if you had your spark set on being first place.

<p class="MsoNormal">Singe just rolls his optics. "These disgusting mouth breathers...What a fanbase." He smirks as Blurr makes his entrance. "Spinister, did you know that Blurr is fast? He is, in case you haven't heard him remind the galaxy about it with his endless prattling."

<p class="MsoNormal">Spinister says nothing, though he probably has indeed heard that Blurr is fast.

<p class="MsoNormal">Well, this is it. The big showdown. Blast Off has been waiting for this day for...eons it seems. And maybe it actually has been, literally, who knows? The Combaticon waits, in shuttle mode, primed and ready to *finally* put that annoying Hovercar in his place. What will Blurr's adoring fans think when he beats the racing champion right their in front of their very optics? The thought is nearly enough to warm his cold spark. "Blurr, I'm surprised you even showed up! I hope I don't humiliate you TOO severely in front of all your fans..." To Swindle, Spinister, and Misfire, he adds, "Keep an eye on these Autobots! they always like to take cheap pot shots at me when I race...because they know I will defeat them. If *I* win this race, then all the Decepticons gain some glory. If we lose, then.... the Autobots will gain another moral victory, and they don't deserve it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Space Shuttle <Blast Off> sets his defense level to Protected.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Space Shuttle <Blast Off> sets his defense level to Aggressive.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Twin-Nosed Jet <Misfire> sets his defense level to Fearless.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> sets her defense level to Neutral.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Space Shuttle <Blast Off> sets his defense level to Protected.

<p class="MsoNormal">Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

<p class="MsoNormal">The Announcer yells, "Wow....and MISFIRE pulls ahead! Blurr is coming in second, and the rest are trying to catch up.... Will BLurr pull ahead or do we have a new star?"

<p class="MsoNormal">Space Shuttle <Blast Off> remains wary of an attack at any second- he's been in these races too long and thus he tries to fly defensively- at least at first. However, he is less than pleased to see Blurr rounding the corner ahead- just out of reach. <<Misfire- YOU'RE ahead? Well- keep it up...and keep an optic on Blurr.... I'll be up there shortly, I assure you!>>

<p class="MsoNormal">Right before the Race begins, Aimless climbs into the narrow cockpit of Misfire, preparing to manage the controls. Playing with Misfire's controls, Aimless states, "I am going to drop the hammer." Misfire emits, "Don't do it..." Aimless says, "I feel the need for speed!" At the moment of GO! Aimless pushes Misfire's engines full tilt as he barely manages to push to the head of the back. Misfire emits, "Pull back, I can't maintain this speed..." Aimless grumbles as he dials down the throttle as Misfire makes a large bank turn, so he can take the next turn. Misfire emits, "You got it Blast Off!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Twin-Nosed Jet <Misfire> sets his defense level to Protected.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap> tears away from the starting line, but is clearly outmatched. Oh well, Blast Off /did/ say something about cheap pot shots. Hubcap fills a databomb with junk info, and sends it at the spaceship.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap> misses Space Shuttle <Blast Off> with his Super Hearing attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">And the start signal goes off! The fans keep on shouting and waving their various noisemakers and banners. Blurr chuckles as he easily surges ahead of the others, without really putting forth much effort. He notices Misfire in the lead, but it doesn't really faze him. He knows the Decepticon can't keep that up for long, unless he gets himself disqualified by taking his altitude too high. The Velocitronians did take their racing very seriously. Too bad, that mech could probably use a scope like the one being offered as a prize this time around. Heheh.

<p class="MsoNormal">Thus, he maintains speed, swerving sharply around the first hairpin turn. He absently wonders if there will be any traps lurking about this time...

<p class="MsoNormal">The orange and black speeder only wishes Jazz were here. That would make this complete; she still wants to test her mettle against him - someone with the kind of moves and experience he has would make for the most enjoyable race she could ever hope to have.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Nevertheless, Swindle is here. He's a nice silver medal when it comes to competition. Is it... is it WRONG to enjoy competing against an enemy? Well, Ultra Magnus did say 'go with your gut', and her gut is saying that right now, it's time to worry less about war, and just have fun. 'Punching Air Raid in the face' kind of fun.

<p class="MsoNormal">Shiftlock's sense of fun may be a little skewed.

<p class="MsoNormal">Angling her spoiler to increase downthrust, she picks up a little speed. "'Sup Swindle? Knock over any little old drones lately?" she chuckles as she pulls ahead of him.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> sets her defense level to Aggressive.

<p class="MsoNormal"><<Glory be damned, I better get my credits' worth out of this Blast Off,>> Swindle retorts, though his tone of voice makes it hard to tell if he's being sarcastic or not.

<p class="MsoNormal">At the green light he punches the gas but doesn't drop it all the way just yet, still making a decent pace off the starting line all the same. Just hope this race doesn't have too many sharp turns, he doesn't really like those... and is Blast Off actually being concervative? Someone must of not punched his ego enough times yet.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Well well, fancy seeing -you- here my dear." There's little questioning who that's adressed to, considering Shiftlock is -right there-. "Did you miss me? Or have you been too busy mourning all those losses you yet again couldn't stop?" Ooh, wasting no time getting to the trash talk this time.

<p class="MsoNormal">Or down to business it seems. There's a click-clack-click as spikes pop out of the hubs of his wheels, and the jeep veers towards the speedster. "Let's get re-aquainted!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> strikes Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> with his Check out this racin' bling (Ram) attack! [Pulled -2]

<p class="MsoNormal">Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

<p class="MsoNormal">============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]=============================

<p class="MsoNormal">Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">->Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> 3   1   NEUTRAL        --

<p class="MsoNormal">Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlo 8   0   AGGRESSIVE     --

<p class="MsoNormal">Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap>  10  0   NEUTRAL        --

<p class="MsoNormal">Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindl 11  0   NEUTRAL        --

<p class="MsoNormal">Space Shuttle <Blast Off>     16  0   PROTECTED      --

<p class="MsoNormal">Twin-Nosed Jet <Misfire>      19  0   PROTECTED      --

<p class="MsoNormal">=========================[ Sorted by Track Position ]=========================

<p class="MsoNormal">Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap> swerves slightly as he attempts to recover, distracted as he was by throwing the databomb, and frustrated by screwing it up. "I'm... last? Man I need an upgrade."

<p class="MsoNormal">"Gah!" Shiftlock swings out of the way of Swindle's tire-popping spikes, only to grind up against the sidewall, leaving a nice dent and scrape across her side, bending a wheel wing straight up. She's slowed down considerably as she regains her footing.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Sorry Swindle, you're gonna have to find some fresh disses. You can't keep usin' the same tired ol' song every time we meet - I thought you were a little more, I dunno, *cunning* than that!" she calls ahead, speeding to play catch up, giggling already at the thought of a little dust-up.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> sets her defense level to Fearless.

<p class="MsoNormal">"And now we're at Round 2.....look at those Cybertronians go! ...AND BLURR TAKES THE LEAD!!!!! I don't know about you folks, but this is an exciting race!

<p class="MsoNormal">Resting his engines, Aimless yawns as Misfire makes his way through the turns of the track, the lap marker is about a position in front of Misfire. "So, bored Misfire..." Aimless then pushes Misfire's engines full tilt!

<p class="MsoNormal">"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

<p class="MsoNormal">Exclaims Misfire as his engines are once again pushed to the maximum!

<p class="MsoNormal">Aimless looks around the cockpit of Misfire, "We need tunes Misfire..." Misfire continues to emit his yell as he pushes around the track! Aimless looks around and finds a place to plug in his music device..."Hmmmmm..." Aimless looks through the song list, "Ohhh, this one is nice!" Aimless selects, 'Light My Fire' by the Doors!

<p class="MsoNormal">In an instance, Misfire vocals cut out and the song blares through his emitters!

<p class="MsoNormal">Space Shuttle <Blast Off> can see that Blurr is going to continue to ignore him. Well, that's probably just because the poor Autobot is so petrified that Blast Off will finally defeat him where NO ONE can miss it. OBVIOUSLY, that's it. "It's admirable to see you continue to try, Blurr! But I assure you, your fans are going to be very disappointed today." To Swindle, he radios <<Oh, I assure you, you will... and then some. Just keep those Autobots busy.>>

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap> sets his defense level to Fearless.

<p class="MsoNormal">At the remark about being cunning, Swindle just laughs a bit. "I kept -you- from getting a head start, did I not?", the Combaticon retorts. "Catch ya later, toots." He finally gives the accelerator a bit more of a push, not wanting to lag too far behind despite how much fun taunting the rebel is, he's got a teammate to keep an eye on.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> sets his defense level to Aggressive.

<p class="MsoNormal">Blurr blows past Misfire as the Decepticon slows down. "Haha! So long, Decepti-slag!" he taunts, as his optic displays light up with the race standings and his current status, which indicate he has taken the lead.

<p class="MsoNormal"><<Lap 0 COMPLETE.>>

<p class="MsoNormal">The crowd shouts its approval as Blurr blazes past the starting line for the second time, some of them jumping to their feet and waving their banners even more wildly. The speedster smirks inwardly as the commentator announces Blurr's lead. He spurs himself forward into a slightly higher gear, showing off a nice burst of speed as he drives by the audience.

<p class="MsoNormal">Yeah, he's a showoff. But given his occupation preceding the war, can you blame him?

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> sets his defense level to Aggressive.

<p class="MsoNormal">Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Hey Hubcap! Who you gunnin' for?"

<p class="MsoNormal">============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]=============================

<p class="MsoNormal">Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">Twin-Nosed Jet <Misfire>      7   1   PROTECTED      --

<p class="MsoNormal">Space Shuttle <Blast Off>     10  1   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">->Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> 15  1   AGGRESSIVE     --

<p class="MsoNormal">Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlo 18  0   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap>  19  0   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindl 19  0   AGGRESSIVE     --

<p class="MsoNormal">=========================[ Sorted by Track Position ]=========================

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hubcap says, "Whoever I can reach.  Swindle's looking quite tempting at the moment."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Yeah, I'm likin' the thought of giving him some heat myself. I'mma take a swing at him, if I miss, you  nail him. Sound fair?"

<p class="MsoNormal">As Misfire races through the tract, Aimless continues to look through his songs. "Ahhhh, now this is fun...OOOOOOOOOOO....the RPM needle is the red, Misfire...better push it some more!" Aimless moves the throttle a little bit more forcing Misfire to go faster!

<p class="MsoNormal">"Misfire continues to weave through the track, he manages to interrupt the song so he can in 'Morse Code' tap out. "Please...Help...Hijacked...by...Little...Man..." Aimless continues to push buttons on Misfire's dash. Misfire barrel rolls randomly, then jukes, then feints as Blast Off flies past him!

<p class="MsoNormal">"H...E...L...P...!" Misfire taps out in the static again.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Take a look at that.... Blast Off comes in from the rest of the pack and pulls past Misfire to take second place!!!! ...Meanwhile, we've got some interesting grudge matches going on all around this track.... is this entertaining or WHAT!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hubcap says, "Sounds fun."

<p class="MsoNormal">"Aw baby, I was givin' you a fair shake by not rammin' your aft from the start!" Shiftlock laughs after Swindle. "Shoulda just started out rough with you from the start. You Combaticons like it hard'n'heavy, don't ya?" She stalks up behind him and attempts to slam into him from behind.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> strikes Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> with her Ram attack!

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Well I hope you guys are having fun."

<p class="MsoNormal">Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> is trucking along now, but he's got two of the Autobots right behind him more or less. Normally he wouldn't be so pleased with drawing aggro so quickly, but the point here is to keep them off Blast Off, after all. Sure enough, Shiftlock comes up right behind him with enough force to jostle the Jeep off the ground briefly. His shocks can take the landing, but it still rattles him out of his progress.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Tsk tsk, such innuendo from a vocalizer of a femme. I'd almost think you were processed in a back alley trash bin somewhere... Oh wait, that's right. You -where-." Admist the scathing remarks though his turret swings back towards the two Autobots and opens fire, explosive pellets ripping across the racetrack in an attempt to keep them from proceeding as well.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> sets his defense level to Guarded.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> strikes Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> with his Scatter Blaster Area attack! [Pulled -2]

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> strikes Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap> with his Scatter Blaster Area attack! [Pulled -2]

<p class="MsoNormal">Space Shuttle <Blast Off> pulls through the possible attacks from the slower Autobots and, finding a clear path, decides it's time to engage full thrusters- so he does. The shuttle accelerates to his highest possible speed (within the confines of the ground-based racetrack, at least) and the Combaticon shoots past Misfire. << I can take it from here, Misfire. But.... I must say your taste in music is terrible today. Where are those Kaon opera performances I gave you?>> Blast Off comes around a corner- and there is Blurr. Just me...and him, he thinks. FINALLY. "I'm catching up, Blurrrrrr.... I'll try not to leave wind burns as I pass you by....."

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Space Shuttle <Blast Off> sets his defense level to Fearless.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap> abandons his plans to hurt Swindle as Shiftlock does /horrible/ things to the poor 'Con. At least, until Swindle shoots him. That's just /rude./

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I kinda want Swindle for Primemas."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Tied up and with all his weapons gone."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "What."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I need a punching bag."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "Ok."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I can't help myself, he's *so much fun to hurt*."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hubcap says, "I know people who might be able to help with that."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "That is...........interesting."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock gleefully, "Wheeeee!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "Poor Swindle."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "This is....odd."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "What?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "Hnnnn"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I don't think I've been this happy in... ever!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Velum says, "Heh, you alright over there, Hardhead?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "Hnnnn...yes."

<p class="MsoNormal">Blurr is still in the lead...so far so good! He throttles up a steep hill, and gets some air time as his engines roar over the top, landing smoothly on the other side by increasing the power to his hover thrusters.

<p class="MsoNormal">But wait, is that Blast Off coming up behind him? Heh, he should have expected that! He doesn't dignify the Combaticon with a response to the insults. He's already a winner, end of discussion. No matter what happens. Gunning it, speeds up to keep Blast Off from passing him!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> sets his defense level to Fearless.

<p class="MsoNormal">Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

<p class="MsoNormal">============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]=============================

<p class="MsoNormal">Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">Space Shuttle <Blast Off>     3   2   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">->Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> 8   2   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">Twin-Nosed Jet <Misfire>      15  1   NEUTRAL        --

<p class="MsoNormal">Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlo 18  0   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap>  19  0   NEUTRAL        --

<p class="MsoNormal">Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindl 19  0   GUARDED        --

<p class="MsoNormal">=========================[ Sorted by Track Position ]=========================

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Twin-Nosed Jet <Misfire> sets his defense level to Fearless.

<p class="MsoNormal">The Announcer's voice comes over the loudspeakers again as the crowd continues to cheer and wave to their favorites. "Well, Blurr continues to lead (not much surprise there)! Will anyone be able to catch up the racing Champ? There's not much time left!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Through his eternal speaker, Misfire admits, "Blast Off wants the Opera!" Aimless pushes more buttons finding Misfire's turbo button. "What does this do?" Misfire sighs internally, "You can push it, if you put on the Opera..." Aimless states, "And Extra rations..." Misfire intones internally, "And extra rations..."

<p class="MsoNormal">The Earth Music cuts out as the track, 'Glory to the Warrior' from the fourth act of the Kaon Opera, 'Senator Legates Magnus Folly'.

<p class="MsoNormal">In a flash, as a sharp corner appears, Misfire's engines burn into overdrive, fire blooms out of his engines, pushing Misfire through the curve. His wing scrapes against the protective barrier, causing sparks to fly everywhere.

<p class="MsoNormal">Misfire emits internally, "My paint job..." Aimless bahs at him, "Chicks dig scars..." Misfire emits internally, "Chicks? Small earth Chi...." Aimless then moots Misfire as he humms through the track.

<p class="MsoNormal">Misfire maintains his position, but drifts back from the leaders. He starts to shake as his engines burn faster and brighter causing the hapless Targetmaster to start to vibrate." Aimless intones, "Woah, love the vibrating chair...next time we are on Monacus..." Misfire races through the track!

<p class="MsoNormal">"Oh Swindle. Swindle, Swindle, Swindle," Shiftlock sighs disappointedly. "Back alley trash bins? Is that the best you can do? I guess so, after all, back alley trash bins are the only things that'll pop their plates for ya."

<p class="MsoNormal">Shift is forced to swing to the side, taking bullets along her left door and wheel well as the track explodes with puffs of dust and shards of pavement in front of both her and Hubcap.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Nice gun there, mind if I borrow it a minute?" she asks, swinging back around to the front, a grapple popping up out of the top of her hood, shooting towards the gun turret on Swindle, attempting to latch on and bend its supports and turret, if not steal it outright!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> misses Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> with her Yoink! (Punch) attack!

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Nuts and bolts, I missed!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Impactor says, "Just keep shooting."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "Sound strategy."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I was trying to rip Swindle's gun off his back!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "AND THEN CLUB HIM TO DEATH WITH IT."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hubcap says, "Guess that makes it my turn."

<p class="MsoNormal">Blurr once again roars past the starting line with Blast Off not far behind him. The crowds are getting wilder and wilder as the race goes on, many of them intent on Blurr winning, especially since they have their precious shanix on the blue speedster!

<p class="MsoNormal">He doesn't show off for them this time, though...his fuel reserves are in the yellow, and might be heading into the red zone soon. If he wants to win this, he's got to manage his energon supplies right. Any racer should know that! Thus, he slows down just a bit--he can afford it. He's not even within firing range of the Combaticon shuttle. Yet.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> sets his defense level to Aggressive.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap>  is, oddly enough, still on the road, possibly. Although he does appear to be experiencing some difficulty. Engine revving, he careens wildly towards Swindle. "Oops, sorry, don't mind me!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Space Shuttle <Blast Off> continues to race ahead, blasting an icy, white "cloud" behind him as he goes....but he still can't quite catch up to Blurr. The slightest bit of doubt begins to creep in...what if...what if... *I* lose the race? No, that's not possible..... in all this time, Blast Off never even considered the *possibility*. Some tiny voice of ...pessimism?...reason? pipes up in his subconcious somewhere, reminding him of his recent encounter with Blitzwing- who compared him to STARCREAM of all mechs.... something about having an oversized ego. PFFFT. As if. But just as he begins to doubt, he hears Misfire begin to blast out Kaon Opera. Ah! Something is still right in Blast Off's world now, and the music gives him the inspiration he needs to continue engaging thrusters and GOOOOOOO....

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Space Shuttle <Blast Off> sets his defense level to Fearless.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap> misses Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> with his LEGS! (Ram) attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">And the grappling hook flies wide as Swindle veers to the side. Shiftlock better hope that doesn't snag onto something else. Like something stationary. "Sorry sweetie, but this piece isn't on the market," he jeers back at her. Then he has to swerve the other way to avoid the little coupe trying to fender bender him. "Tch, tch, such lousy playmates." But other than the defensive driving, Swindle is just continuing to cruise along at this point.

<p class="MsoNormal">Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

<p class="MsoNormal">============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]=============================

<p class="MsoNormal">Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">->Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> 0   3   AGGRESSIVE     --

<p class="MsoNormal">+Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap>  1   1   NEUTRAL        --

<p class="MsoNormal">+Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlo 1   1   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">Twin-Nosed Jet <Misfire>      5   2   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindl 6   1   GUARDED        --

<p class="MsoNormal">Space Shuttle <Blast Off>     16  2   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">=========================[ Sorted by Track Position ]=========================

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Hey Impactor, you're not afraid of heights or anything, are you??"

<p class="MsoNormal">The crowd continues to cheer wildly as their Champion looks like he's about to repeat history- again, and again, and again! "GO, Blurr, Goooooo!" Even the Announcer gets caught up in the crowd's excitement. "Uh- But it's not over yet folks....however, it's lookin' pretty grim for anyone trying to catch up to Blurr now!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Shiftlock's grapple does miss - and snags onto a light post on the side of the track. She knows how to handle these kinds of situations, however, and she lets the grapple do its job as she long-sides to the left, tires screaming against the track; she flies up and sideways, leaving the track momentarily before centripetal force caries her along and through the air. The moment her nose lines back up with the track she jettisons the grapple cable, landing on her wheels and speeding onwards.

<p class="MsoNormal">"It was worth a try!" she laughs as she speeds past Swindle, redlining her engine to get some breathing room.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Hey Skydive, how's it jettin', mech?"

<p class="MsoNormal">As the Opera blares, Misfire manages to navigate through most of the traffic and the chaos of the action below. It isn't realy skill, but more dumb luck of Aimless' button pushing that keeps Misfire out of harm's way. A corkscrew turn here, a roll there, a flip there. In fact, Misfire appears to fly backwards for a brief moment, before falling into a flat spin that he barely pushes through.

<p class="MsoNormal">Looking inside at the dashboard, Aimless taps at it, "Misfire, I think your Energon Gauge is whacked out...Apropos to Nothing, you have that ejection seat installed?" Un-muting Misfire, the Targetmaster internally emits, "I am so going to MUR...." Muted again Aimless sighs, "Well that was boring...you really need a TV in here..." Aimless chuckles as Misfire continues to push his way around the track, stuck in Third.

<p class="MsoNormal"><<Lap 2: COMPLETE.>>

<p class="MsoNormal">Blurr's displays notify him that he has begun the final leg of the race. And he is still in the lead. No surprise there. Looks like Blast Off is still on the second lap, but not ridiculously far behind, while the others are still playing games back there, which was perfectly fine. It certainly kept Swindle from harassing him. Misfire is still in third, but he's not worried about the Targetmaster, because he's bound to fail, one way or another, sooner or later.

<p class="MsoNormal">Blurr chuckles inwardly at the commentator's words.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Heh." he says to himself. "He's sure got that one right."

<p class="MsoNormal">Blurr's voice comes on Blast Off's hailing freqency. <<Ya hear that, Blasty? Looking pretty grim for anyone trying to catch up to me! Nothing new there, though. Haha!>> he taunts.

<p class="MsoNormal">"I can get you a great deal on a used portable holo-screen projector!" Swindle remarks to the Targetmaster and partner as the two pass him on the track. Looks like he gave those Autobots the ditch for the moment, so he can turn his attention to other possible deals to be made.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Oh, good! Eh-heh, hope you're having fun at the race..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Oh yeah! I love this. Seriously, I should have been a racer. Too bad I was rolled out too late for that sorta thing."

<p class="MsoNormal">Perhaps Hubcap has been trying the wrong strategy. And now the only ones around him are friends.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive  mumbles incomprehensibly, sounding distracted.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "You doin' okay?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "YES! FABULOUS...!!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "You spend a lot of time with Whirl, right? Do you know his approximate dimensions??"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Actually I've only spent a little time with him, but I could try to guess. Why do you ask?"

<p class="MsoNormal">Space Shuttle <Blast Off> can't believe it. Blurr is WINNING???!!! How is this possible? Did he cheat? That MUST be it.... or one of Blurr's cursed 'Bot "buddies" did..... Blast Off's mind goes through a "race" of its own- desperately searching for an excuse, any excuse. But the Combaticon fails to find any for now....and Blurr is still ahead. TOO FAR ahead..... A small surge of panic begins to form inside his spark for the first time. Only (slightly) soothed by Misfire's opera broadcast. Then he hears Blurr's radio taunt. Furious, the shuttle has no reply for Blurr. There....there are no words right now. He just keeps pressing ahead.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Velum snickers, "Sounds like you're fitting him for a dress or something, Skydive."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hubcap says, "Bigger than me, smaller than Magnus, surprisingly open-minded."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid groans.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "....a what? What's that? What for...? Hn?? Oh no, I need ... I need... hm....."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Hey Raid, I passed my test!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "Heyyyy grats! For what?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Autobot code."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "Snap."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "There is a test?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "There was for me."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "Do we get to haze you now?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "You can try, if you want me to bend your wings again."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hubcap says, "I think that /was/ the hazing."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "So aggressive."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Sorry, racin' around gets my circuits speedin'."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Plus, y'know, gettin' shot by Swindle."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Ah, well, if any of you happen across Whirl anytime soon, could you ask him his exact dimensions? That would be nice!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "Could you not find them in the personnel files?"

<p class="MsoNormal">Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

<p class="MsoNormal">Race: Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> crosses the finish line!

<p class="MsoNormal">Race: Space Shuttle <Blast Off> crosses the finish line!

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "OH HEY JETFIRE. He..hehe. Right, oh yeah, that's.. I forgot about that.., haha..."

<p class="MsoNormal">============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]=============================

<p class="MsoNormal">Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">Lil' Yellow Porsche <Hubcap>  8   1   NEUTRAL        --

<p class="MsoNormal">+Space Shuttle <Blast Off>     9   3   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">->Cybertronian Hovercar <Blurr> 11  3   AGGRESSIVE     --

<p class="MsoNormal">+Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlo 11  1   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">+Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindl 13  1   GUARDED        --

<p class="MsoNormal">Twin-Nosed Jet <Misfire>      17  2   FEARLESS       --

<p class="MsoNormal">=========================[ Sorted by Track Position ]=========================

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "...?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "Skydive, what are you up to?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "Are in you my lab?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Nah, just hanging with Brainstorm! We were uh, gonna try some things..no worries, I'm in Brainstorm's lab."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Oh dear."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "No."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Alert! Alert! Trouble senses tingling!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "And what exactly were you going to try?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Guys, don't panick... we're not working with explosives..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "No."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "Brainstorm?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "Can you confirm this?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Well....."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "The fact that that's the *first thing you have to reassure us about* is *not reassuring*."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "No."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Look, nobody go blow a piston, I'm heading back the barracks soon. We were just profiling some of the Autobots that may need... psychiatric assistance, that's all."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "No."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Oh that is VERY reassuring."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Did you get your own measurements?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "Hmm, Brainstorm is not answering his comm."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Yes, actually, I did, if you'd like to know them...."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Er, he passed out."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "And why is that?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "I MEAN. He knocked himself out, eh-heh..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Jetfire says, "..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "No."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Well you know Brainstorm, haha, he has a knack for, uh, being accident prone..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "No."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Er, quite an extensive vocabulary you have there...."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "Yes."

<p class="MsoNormal">Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> rolls to a slow pace as ....Blurr -and- Blast Off cross the finish line? Is it a tie? A photo finish? .... Damn, he should of sold the cameras for that so he could rig them. Oh well. It's someone else's problem to figure out just who the victor is. "Welp, it looks like my job here is done." Pause. "Time to go collect the betting pools!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "There's something to be said about being succinct."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Sooooo, the race is going well, right? Is Blurr winning?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "Shiftlock, Skydive needs protecting from himself...when you are done with the race."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "You know I can't TELL. I'd swear Blurr and Blast Off just *tied*."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Hey I can do that myself! Oh good! I MEAN.. I hope Blurr wins.. eh-heh..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "No."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive  gasps. You don't want Blurr to win?!

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "I hope Blurr wins. No, you can't take care of yourself."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive  is incredulous. I've cured him of his redundancy! Maybe I'm qualified to be psychiatrist after all...

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "No."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Velum belatedly, "You're doing something with Brainstorm? Oi, what's he up to this time. I don't wanna come over there and smack both him and Arcana upside the head."

<p class="MsoNormal">Racing around the track, Misfire ejects Aimless and reverts to his Robot Mode, the pair struggle with each other in mid air and then hit the ground in a puff of smoke,the pair get up and slap at each other like children...which requires Misfire to crouch down. After a moment, an official come by and then says, "Third Place...straighten up?"

<p class="MsoNormal">Stopping to stare at each other, Aimless and Misfire then hi-five and shout in unison, "WE MAKE AN AWESOME TEAM!" They then point at each other, "Don't do that...GAH!!!" The pair say in unison before looking away from each other.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Oh, uh! He's passed out for now, don't worry."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "We need an /actual/ psychiatrist. Can we order one?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Velum says, "Hrrm"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Socket says, "I am qualified to treat psychiatric disorders."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "Socket, you are mean."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "Great!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Socket says, "Oh do go on."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "That is all."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "And a girl, so you can't treat me, and I'm probably going to be one of your patients, so that isn't going to work..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "Socket, I think I need some therapy."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Socket says, "Am I mean for requiring a modicum of civil behavior, or am I mean for correctly identifying a disorder you are manifesting, Hardhead?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Firestar says, "You /need/ a girl to 'treat' you. *cracks knuckles*"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hardhead says, "Hnnnnn"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Remind me to never, EVER go near you."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Socket says, "Skydive, I can treat you regardless of my gender settings."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hubcap says, "I can manage to impersonate one, if that helps?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Firestar whistles cheerily as she polishes her axe blade.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Velum says, "..Disorder?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "Well, maybe, if I let you. But I'm not going to, I've got Brainstorm..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid says, "Skydive... all of the other combiner teams are laughing at us..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Air Raid can be heard making a sad face.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Firestar says, "It's not just the combiner teams, Raid."

<p class="MsoNormal">Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> has no further interest in racing since everyone's placed. She speeds off the track, happy to have mixed it up with Swindle again. He's her favorite punching bag, next to Air Raid.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Hubcap says, "And how do you feel about that?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Skydive says, "I'm working on it, okay?! I believe in self help, and that's what Brainstorm is going to help me with. You work on being a good teammate, and I'll work on getting rid of my fear."

<p class="MsoNormal">Blurr is focused on the finish line as it comes racing up to meet him. Looks like this is going to be a win for him! Like usual, of course. The crowd roars even louder though, seeing that it is going to be a close race! Blast Off is RIGHT on Blurr's tailpipes, and in fact, it looks like they're neck and neck!

<p class="MsoNormal">FWWOOOSH! Blurr speeds past the finish line! But wait, Blast Off did as well! Who won? It's actually hard to tell. Maybe even impossible for the unaided optic...but the timers will tell, no doubt! Every head in the audience turns, craning toward the scoreboard in anticipation of the results! Who will it be, Blurr or Blast Off??!

<p class="MsoNormal">"AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!" The Announcer and most of the audience cheer loudly enough to potentially split a few eardrums- or equivalents thereof. One- or... is it two? entrants cross the finish line. "Wait, folks....we're...not sure who won. LOOKS LIKE A PHOTO FINISH!" The crowds cheer again and wait....and finally: "WE have OURSELVES a WINNER- BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!" The roar of the crowd can probably be heard back on Cybertron. Once the roar dies down a bit, there's a second announcement: "But- it's such a close call! Blurr was defintitely ahead, but Blast Off was so close that our judges have decided to... give him a second place prize!!!! We'll sort this out and see you at the winner's stand! Thank you to everyone who came out today!!!!!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Looks like Blurr just *barely* won."

<p class="MsoNormal">The Non-Terran Plane quickly begins to unfold. The rear engines slide down and form two bulky legs. The arms unfold from underneath the plan's body. The front spires on the cockpit slide up the back and sit above his head. Where there was once a plane there is now Misfire.

<p class="MsoNormal">And Blurr is victorious once again, having beaten Blast Off by just a quarter of an astrosecond, it would seem. He transforms as the holographic scoreboards light up the final standings, smirking over his shoulder at the Combaticon. "Told you you'd never beat me." he says smugly. "But I guess you're luck, you get to claim a little consolation prize."

<p class="MsoNormal">And then he waltzes over to the stand to claim first place winnings.

<p class="MsoNormal">The jeep flips back and up, revealing a lean mean black market machine.

<p class="MsoNormal">Swindle meanwhile goes to find the bookies. Not his bookies, the ones that collected all the cash on Blurr winning. They're the ones worth extorting after tonight.

<p class="MsoNormal">Blast Off is so close he can TASTE IT...uuhhh...except that means Blurr's afterburners are probably in his face. Well, um, maybe not THAT. But the space shuttle tastes VICTORY again, as he gets closer...and closer.... and closer.... and then they're through the finish line. But....Blurr was still ever-so-slightly ahead. WHAAAAT. The rest after that seems like...well, a blurr. Time gets into a strange really-fast and yet really-slow state as Blast Off tries to make sense of what just happened. He transforms and is standing there, still among the chaos, when he hears something about him winning ...second place? Blast Off's spark just sinks, but he heads towards the winner's circle. Blurr throws an insult to him, but he is still too furious to even answer the 'Bot.

<p class="MsoNormal">He stands and watches as his arch-rival gets a trophy, flowers, and is informed that his SuperScope XT1000 will arrive shortly. This is humilating....but for HIM, not Blurr. Optics glare at the winner. After the cheering dies down slightly, the judges come and hand Blast Off a...medal. They congratulate him for a really good try! Blast Off just stands there and stares at the medal, then stares at Blurr, saying nothing. Finally, he moves slightly towards the "bot. Holding his medal, he stares at Blurr some more...then nods his head in a stiff, sullen, but unmistakably "courteous" gesture of "congratulations". Blast Off is a "civilized" mech, after all. Then he walks out of there and doesn't look back.

<p class="MsoNormal">The hovercar quickly unfolds upward and outward to reveal the fastest terrestrial Cybertronian in the galaxy, Blurr!

<p class="MsoNormal">Blurr just smirks as Blast Off nods sullenly and walks away. But once the Combaticon is gone, something else occurs to him. Something that he hadn't thought of during the race, but that he'd considered before. Where were these Velocitronians getting this military hardware? Or was the Racing Association actually behind this at all? These mechs weren't the types to be offering those kinds of prizes--if they were...someone had to be baiting them. Someone wanted Cybertronians in this race. But why? Maybe an especially rich old fan of his?

<p class="MsoNormal">Heh, probably.

<p class="MsoNormal">But mind is pulled away from those thoughts as more of his fan-following rush up to him, fawning and begging for autographs, which he happily obliges...

<p class="MsoNormal">Looking around, Misfire sighs...Nobody cares about third...scuffling around for a moment, Aimless moves to grab a small piece of the racetrack, slapping Misfire. "Look there is Blast Off...go get him! He is our ride out of here!" Misfire nods, "Yeah, Blast Off looks like he could use a friend." Looking at each other, the pair take off after Blast Off, "Blast Off! Wait up! I have Flasks!" Misfire and Aimless jog after Blast Off. Aimless clutching his stolen small prize.