2030 Olympics: Team Shift vs Team FU

Six lasers - Thrull Lava Pits

Crazy Galvatron? Yeah that's our bad.

Behold! The hellish lava pits of Thrull. A planet still in its initial stages of forming, Thrull's landscape is a churning mess of lava and molten rock. Volcanoes dot the landscape, spewing ash and smoke into the atmosphere. The central landing area has been made civilized via an outpost protected with a forcefield. The nearby area, consisting of lava pits, is conditioned to be safe to breathe.

Known galaxy-wide for their psychological "benefits", the lava pits range in size from ocean to "convenient hot tub shape". In fact, there are only a few places on Thrull that are not covered in lava. In the northern hemisphere stretches the largest of these "plains", hosting a modestly-sized Spaceport, and the newly-constructed Six Lasers (tm) Olympic Omni-Arena 5000.

More adventuresome tourists & gladiators can venture out beyond the safe areas to the magma rivers.

Blueshift is here, he is smoking and drinking and stuff

Fulcrum isn't sure what he was drinking last night, but by the pounding in his head it must have been good. Also it's lucky he woke up here because he completely forgot about this match. "Ughh.. are we fighting yet?"

Rodimus Prime isn't really here. But a half-asleep and abnormally boring judge is.

Glancing irritably up at the sky, Fusillade finishes making the last of her wagers in the betting pools. "Soon, yeah Fulcrum. Here, this direction." She takes him by the shoulders, and orients himself facing in the Shifts' direction. Blueshift puts down the orphan he was trying to turn into a Headmaster as he sees his opponents file in. "I'll take the communist!" he exclaims. "Fulcrum. He is a Constructicon who turns into Devastator's bum, yes?" He raises his gun and fires, pew pew pew

Combat: Blueshift strikes Fulcrum with his Speed Stealing Gun attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Fulcrum's Agility. (Crippled)

Shockwave has arrived.

Redshift sputters as Blueshift leaps right into the fight, and fumbles to bring his plasma rifle up to take aim. He winks once at Fusillade, before opening fire. "Nothing personal." He quips, while peeling off blots of plasma in the large bomber's direction.

Combat: Redshift sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Redshift strikes Fusillade with his Incinerator Rifle attack! [Pulled -5]

Shockwave, impassive calculator that he is, performs his duty to the party yet again in his appearance at this battle, observing and recording. However, his eye flickers from time to time without speech, indicating that he's working on something else internally and is, perhaps, distracted. One would be wise not to try to cheat, even so.

Ramjet has arrived.

"Ehn, close enough," Fusillade says in response to Blueshift, as she tenses in response to the riflefire aimed at Fulcrum. "See, there he is. He's announced his position!" "Of course not," Fusillade snorts as the plasma sizzles toward her. She tries to spring away, but it bites into her armor. "But now you're just insultin' me. Don't hold back, unless you're trying to suggest your output matches your height. Here, have some REAL plasma." She curve-balls an angry blue-purple mass of her own plasma in his direction.

Combat: Fusillade sets her defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Fusillade misses Redshift with her Plasma Caster attack!

"My speeeeeeeeeed" Fulcrum complains, sounding like a foghorn as he's temporarily slowed down by some Blue Spaceship Dude. Why couldn't it have been a dame, a broad, a gal with moxie, pizzaz, chutzpah! Still, he can muster the energy to charge Blueshift, that evil sickle swinging out again in an attempt to once more rip Blueshift's armor into metal confetti.

Combat: Fulcrum strikes Blueshift with his Burning Sickle attack!

Blueshift punches the air as he hits Fulcrum. "Yesss!" But then the air punches Blueshift back in the face, for it is actually some sort of alien. This distracts him as Fulcrum ruins his armour. "Nooo!" he shouts, transforming and rushing towards Fulcrum. "You die for that!" He rockets forwards, intent on murdering Mr F with his wings

Blueshift leaps into the air, flipping into the form of a small spacecraft

Combat: Blueshift sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Blue Spaceship strikes Fulcrum with his Wing Slice attack!

Redshift leaps aside from the incoming purple-blue blast of plasma, a smirk curling up at the end of mouth. "I'm just warming up, Fusillade. If you want a REAL fight, you've got one!" He snaps, cranking his rifle up to full power, firing a searing beam of hot orange plasma in Fusillade's direction.

Combat: Redshift sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Redshift misses Fusillade with his Incinerator Rifle attack!

"You're complaining about your SPEED? HAHAHAH!" Fusillade laughs at Fulcurm, before wincing at the shots that he's taking. "Okay, enough of this." Pew pew! "Yeah, I DO WANT A REAL FIGHT!" she yells at Redshift as she leaps to avoid the blast, before transforming and looming...

Fusillade leans forward, wingblades whipping out to their full span, even as her arms lock backward in place as the rear fuselage. Her torso folds out to the become the cockpit of a space capable B-1R Lancer, ready for flight!

Combat: Fusillade sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Space-Going B-1R Lancer strikes Redshift with her Like a Vast Predatory Bird Area attack!

Combat: You took 18 damage.

Combat: Space-Going B-1R Lancer strikes Blue Spaceship with her Like a Vast Predatory Bird Area attack!

Fulcrum knows what's coming, so is already moving out of the blast radius at high speed, glancing back as the area is rocked by huge explosions

Combat: Fulcrum takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Blueshift laughs as he slices into Fulcrum, but the Seeker's attack still burns over him. And then Fusillade tries to explode him. "You are the worst Constructicon ever!" he shouts at Fulcrum, banking around as he aims his body at Fulcrum's face. "I will smash off your face and make it into another mug. Damn I love mugs!" Zoom zoom.

Combat: Blue Spaceship misses Fulcrum with his Full-Body Strike attack!

"He really does love mugs," Desert-Attack! Ramjet tells Shockwave.

Kup has arrived.

Redshift is blasted off his feet by the incoming bomb, even his quick reflexes not enough to avoid the huge crater-carving explosion. Bitf of Redshift's shiny red armor go flying, and the singe-edged warrior flips up into his spaceship mode. Fusillade may be able to whallop with her bombs, but she's also a bigger target! The red and black ship guns it's engines, and blasts toeards the Lancer on a colission course.

Redshift transforms into his sleek spacecraft mode and takes to the air.

Combat: Red Spaceship  strikes Space-Going B-1R Lancer with his Full Speed Ahead attack!

"You know that eyepatch?" Fulcrum replies, suddenly dropping like a stone towards Redshift and avoiding Blueshift's attack as he switches targets. "I made it into an ornamental codpiece! Forr.... Blot!" Quickly transforming, he races after the red twin, heat-rays lancing out to ward him off his attack run.

Shockwave's head swivels slightly to regard Desert Attack Ramjet. "His love of mugs will not bring him victory if he doesn't accelerate his evasion."

Combat: Fulcrum sets his defense level to Fearless.

Fulcrum's joints screech as his body reconfigures itself into a green MiG-29.

Combat: MiG-29  misses Red Spaceship  with his Heat Ray attack!

Wind whistling about her frame as she banks hard, lining herself up for another run. However, she's managed to draw out the two Shifts, driving them to greater action. "More like it, wow." CREAK, creak, the gash down the entire length of th fuselage drops sharply in altitude. As the air fills with heat rays, she mmmmphs to herself, and changes her target as well, sending several low-powered shots from her disruptor at the speedy Blueshift.

Combat: Space-Going B-1R Lancer strikes Blue Spaceship with her Disruptor attack!

Blueshift rockets straight past Fulcrum as he misses, Fusillade having damaged him quite a bit. "Man that sucks!" he shouts, transforming to robot mode, his gun cocked and aimed at Fulcrum. "Also it was a sucky eyepatch. You know when you were sleeping? I totally exchanged your fuel port with your waste output, yessssss"

The spaceship flips up into the handsome form of Blueshift

Combat: Blueshift strikes MiG-29  with his Speed Stealing Gun attack!

Red Spaceship  careens higher into the air, always satisfied after a good ramming. His excessive speed lets him outrace the searing heat rays, and the red ship whirls around for a strafing run on the larger and less maneuverable bomber. Red lasers streak out as he opens fire, before pulling up and away.

Combat: Red Spaceship  strikes Space-Going B-1R Lancer with his Laser attack!

Flicking tailslabs, Fusillade does present a rather promising target. The weapons fire strafes her, sending small chunks of material off her frame. That passes quickly enough though, as Redshift hurtles past her. "Gotcha," Fusillade murmurs as he bolts forward into her air to air missile targetting range. A rotary carriage modified to handle missiles drops down under her body, and lets fly a 14 foot long heat-seeker.

Combat: Fusillade sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Space-Going B-1R Lancer misses Red Spaceship  with her Heat-Seeker! attack!

"That was Acid Storm!" the MiG broadcasts, swinging around and firing his jets to head back towards Blueshift. "He had to come for me to repairs! And therapy!" The Russian jet transforms just before he's about to crash into his opponent, ending in robot mode with his fearsome sledge outstretched..

The MiG-29 twists around and folds in on itself with a grinding sound, transforming into the robotic form of Fulcrum.

Combat: Fulcrum strikes Blueshift with his Thunder Hammer attack!

Kup has appeared on the perimeter of the battlezone, sitting on a chunk of blackened rock, and for some reason he's sporting a helmet emblazoned with a "THE 'PIECE" sticker. "BOTH SIDES LOSE!" he heckles. "BOTH SIDES LOSE! Heheh."

Blueshift glares as his laser hits Fulcrum, and he gets SMACKED. He transforms to speed into the sky. But it is not Fulcrum he goes after, instead he rockets after Fusillade. "No-one bombs me and lives!" he shouts. "Also your bomb bay door is really huge and creaky!" He twists and attempts to slash into her with his wings

Blueshift leaps into the air, flipping into the form of a small spacecraft

Combat: Blue Spaceship strikes Space-Going B-1R Lancer with his Wing Slice attack!

Desert-Attack! Ramjet turns his cone, having caught sight of Kup. "Wh--" He makes a sound, but the word is stolen from his lips by the sheer magnificence of Kup's helmet. "Hnnh.." Ramjet's upper lip curls back. His hand clenches into a fist, "..I must have that helmet and its sticker.."

"Your chances of acquiring it are minimal by comparison to any conceivable value in doing so," points out Shockwave.

Killjoy.

Kup catches Ramjet's look and glares. If the conehead isn't careful, Kup just might give him that helmet, alright... but not in a place where he'd want it!

..Like in the back of a Volkswagen?

The incoming missile is very nearly the same length as Redshift's spacecraft mode, and he has to dive down hard to avoid the massive piece of munition. The missile barely misses his wing, but that's good enough! The red shift transforms to his robot mode, landing hard on the rocky ground below. Bringing his rifle to bear, he lines up a shot on Fulcrum's rear, hoping the green mech with the hammer is busy focussing on Blueshift.

The sleek red spacecraft transforms into the winged warrior Redshift.

Combat: Redshift strikes Fulcrum with his Incinerator Rifle attack!

Ramjet narrows his optics at Shockwave.

Fulcrum winces as Blueshift's previous attack continues to bite into his systems.. and as his gaze follows Blueshift, he gets engulfed in fire. "AHHHHHHHHHHH" he screams, rocketing away from Redshift, the sudden accelleration putting out the fires. Biting off a particularly nasty curse as he sees Blueshift pulling the same trick with Fusillade, he drops a quick radio message and heads for her top-side to affect some hasty battlefield repairs. It'd be easier to work on the open bomb-bays but that's a dangerous place to be right now...

Combat: Fulcrum quickly patches up some of Space-Going B-1R Lancer's minor injuries.

Combat: Fulcrum sets his defense level to Protected.

With Blueshift nearly slicing out a whole bomb bay, Fusillade squaks and surges back skyward, getting a bead on the offending, smaller, more nimbler craft. "You're not supposed to juggle them at me unless I'm ready for them," she chides Fulcru wryly. She slows her flight path briefly, before saying, "Bah, door's jammed. Just tear it off. I gotta dump some of these munitions." She actiavates several anti-personnel weapons, (well, anti-Cybteronian personnel anyway), and sends out another gift wrapped presnt the Shifts' way.

Combat: Space-Going B-1R Lancer strikes Redshift with her Cheapo Ammo Area attack!

Combat: You took 16 damage.

Combat: Space-Going B-1R Lancer's attack has damaged your Velocity!

Combat: Space-Going B-1R Lancer strikes Blue Spaceship with her Cheapo Ammo Area attack!

Combat: Blue Spaceship falls to the ground, unconscious.

Blue Spaceship explodes and died :(

Kup yells, "ONE DOWN, THREE TO GO! HAHA!"

Ramjet cups his hands over his mouth and shouts, "OLD MAN YOUR TIME DRAWS NEAR... ER. NEARER. NOT RIGHT NOW BUT LATER. SOON-ISH, EVEN."

Ramjet's optics get all bright. "I think Blueshift just exploded. Shockwave, confirm!"

Kup points at Ramjet from across the battlefield. "ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, RAMJET! You bring your conehead flunkies, too, I'll take them all on!" Then, he notices his helmet's a bit crooked, so he adjusts it.

Redshift takes a second to fist-pump after scoring a full-powered hit on Fulcrum, but his celebration is short-lived as Fusillade carpet-bombs the arena, blasting Redshift into the air, and seemingly totalling his brother. Redshift lets out a few short curses, then transforms, blasting off for the sky. His own bomb-bays open, dropping a cluster of small bombs that burst in bright, white-hot flashes

Redshift transforms into his sleek spacecraft mode and takes to the air.

Shockwave scans the explosion with his internal radar array. "Confirmed. Redshift's chances of success have precipitously fallen from sixty-two percent to approximately fourteen percent."

Combat: Red Spaceship  strikes Space-Going B-1R Lancer with his Phosphorous Bombs Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Space-Going B-1R Lancer's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Red Spaceship  strikes Fulcrum with his Phosphorous Bombs Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Fulcrum's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Used up 1 WP_Bombs. 2 remain.

"MY VISION IS IMPARED!" blares Fulcrum, spinning in midair and aiming his arm-mounted heat rays at the most annoying sounding engines.

Combat: Fulcrum misses Red Spaceship  with his EXTERMINATE (Disruptor) attack!

"Why that decrepit, rust-ridden.." Ramjet seethes. He shouts back, "YOU WILL PERISH AND THEN RODIMUS PRIME WILL HAVE NO ONE TO GO TO IN ORDER TO SEEK COMFORT WHEN HIS SILICON NIGHTMARES WAKE HIM UP. THEN I WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH, YOU DIP-MODEL EARLY-STICK!"

Flexing his hands into fists, Ramjet tilts his cone back and exhults in the glory of his win. Wait. Dip-model ear... oh f--. ".. I MEAN EARLY-MODEL DIP-STICK! YOU EARLY-MODEL DIP-STICK!" Shockwave was about to correct Ramjet.

Ramjet is totally screwed if Kup ever deers to kill Galvatron's dare.


 * BLOOMPH* The blue one goes down, which is a bit surprising to the Lancer. However, Fusillade doesn't have the luxury of enjoying the victory for long as Redshift covers his bases, and reduces his chances to get hit. Fusillade screams, transforms back to robot mode, and wildly shoots plasma everywhere. The crowd ducks.

The sleek bomber rears up, wings collapsing onto hips even as the rear fuselage splits to form arms. The horizontal stabilizer slides up, the forward fuselage folds up accordian style, and Fusillade hops up on thrustered feet.

Combat: Fusillade strikes Red Spaceship  with her Plasma Caster attack!

Combat: You took 14 damage.

Combat: You are very aware that your life is in danger!

Combat: Fusillade's attack has damaged your Accuracy!

"That was statistically remarkable," remarks Shockwave, which is as close as he gets to being surprised by something.

Kup shakes a fist at Ramjet. "I got a dipstick, RIGHT HERE! Guess where it's supposed to go? You know what, on second thought, you probably don't wanna think about that! It's alright, though, I'll show ya soon enough!"

Ramjet makes a face.. that immediately softens in realization. "YOU ARE RIGHT. I DO NOT WISH TO KNOW." He turns to Shockwave and bobs his cone, "He is right, you know."

Red Spaceship  is kinda surprised at the effectiveness of his bombs, ussualy they just blow /himself/ up. Sadly, now he seems to be fighting a losing battle, since there's little chance of Red taking on both Fulcrum and Fusillade. Fusillade's second plasma-caster attack is unfortunatly more effective than her first, as it strikes Redshift and blasts away one of his wings. The red n' black ship begins to hurtle towards the ground, and Redshift struggles to crash-land in Fusillade's face.

Combat: Redshift sets his defense level to Fearless.

"I have calculated where it is supposed to go," replies Shockwave, which is not reassuring.

Combat: Red Spaceship  strikes Fusillade with his crash landing attack! [Pulled -3]

Combat: You are running low on energon!

Ramjet glowers, "That is not reassuring!!"

Kup didn't hear what they were saying. "Yeah, you're GONNA need insurance!"

"/Need/!?" Ramjet looks shocked. "I ALREADY HAVE IT! IT IS THE IMPERIAL PPO. I CHOOSE MY CHOICE OF MECHANICS WITHOUT NEED OF REFERRALS. LET'S SEE YOUR PUNY REBEL HMO COMPETE WITH THAT!"

"In accordance with your stated desires," says Shockwave, "I will print it out on a piece of paper and if you wish to educate yourself on a future occasion you may read it while seated." A screechy clattering noise as of a dot-matrix printer emits from inside Shockwave for a few seconds and then stops.

Fulcrum's optics finally clear, shaking the spots from his eyes. "I didn't even notice Blueshift was dead" he mutters, since the first thing he sees is the crescent-fighter's corpse, still annoying even in repose. Suddenly spotting Redshift hurtling down towards Fusillade, Fulcrum guns his boot-jets and follows him down, attempting to kick him away from his partner in crime.

Combat: Fulcrum sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Fulcrum strikes Red Spaceship  with his Oy hands off! (Kick) attack!

Combat: You took 11 damage.

Combat: Fulcrum's attack has damaged your Strength!

As the static fades from her vision, Fusillade is briefly rewarded with seeing the supercharged mass chew away at Redshift. However, what she doesn't want to see is him HURTLING towards her. "GAH!" CRASH!!! The continued pounding from the two spacers really takes a toll on her, and in a last-ditch effort to preserve herself from unconsciousness, she gives Redshift a second helping of missile. "I think you missed out the first time around!"

Combat: Fusillade strikes Red Spaceship  with her Medium Range Missiles attack!

Combat: You took 15 damage.

Combat: Fusillade's attack has damaged your Velocity!

Combat: Red Spaceship  falls to the ground, unconscious.

Fulcrum pauses for a moment.. then tilts his head back and laughs, a low, surprisingly clear sound. "Nice work" he says when he's able.

Kup yells, "Your PPO ain't gonna cover the kinda injuries I can do to you, Ramjet! That's why you better--" He turns back to the fight as Redshift is shot down by a missile. "What, that's it? Only two went down? Bah!"

"THEY WON'T!?" Ramjet shouts in disbelief. He looks back to Shockwave. "Shockwave! Will the Imperial insurance plan cover the injuries that Kup is threatening me with!?"

Red Spaceship <Redshift>'s life flashes before his eyes, especially the part where he bet so much money on winning this match. Then he explodes! The missile rips Redshift apart like he was made of tissue paper and confetti, blasting bits of him across the hellish landscape.

"That was appropriately concise," announces Shockwave. "An authoritative conclusion. Let the record show that Fulcrum and Fusillade will recieve the gold medal, and Redshift and Blueshift the silver."

Standing shakily, Fusillade smiles at Redshift's bits. "Good boy. Glad you thought it out. Particularly how much of a living HELL your life would be if you had WON."

Shockwave explains to Ramjet, "I have insufficient data on the injuries in question."

"Hnh. I see." Ramjet shouts back to Kup, "I DON'T LIKE YOU." That isn't saying much. He dislikes everyone.

Kup says, "SCREW YOU!"

Kup wanders off. >:(

Ramjet looks left.

Ramjet looks right.

Ramjet shouts, ".. I AM NOT PAYING FOR IT THIS TIME AROUND."