Log: Hindered of Hearing

IHQ Med Bay

''The new Med Bay is large enough to house all the wounded that could result from battles against the Autobots. Near the entrance, there are a series of benches for patients awaiting treatment. Advanced medtables line the sides of the room in symetrical rows while surgery is located within the central area. In the ceiling are several crane mechanisms to assist medics in moving larger Decepticons, each one highly articulated and built to withstand the strain of lifting even Devastator. The room's floor, walls, and ceiling are fitted with forceshield generators to contain those that are too injured to return to duty, possible contaminants, and also are set to automatically engage to protect the room from combat damage. The room is immaculately clean, carries a glossy shine, and always smells of disinfectants, giving off the air of a proper medical bay. To the rear are the airlock doors that lead to the Laboratory.''

Soundwave medics it up in the medical bay.

"NNNYYYYRRRSSSSSOUNDWAAAVE!" The unmistakable sound of His Master's Voice echoes through the halls of IHQ as Galvatron stalks toward the Medical Bay, clutching the sides of his helmet. He staggers through the corridors, slamming from one side to another, like that one scene in 'Altered States,' or possibly the climax of the music video to "Take on Me" by a-ha.

Galvatron is aware of neither, so he continues on his way, bursting through the doors of the Med Bay. "SOUNDWAVE!" he cries, as if in relief -- although not quite joy, since it's debatable whether or not Galvatron is capable of such. "Something is wrong, Soundwave -- something is wrong with my AUDIORECEPTORS!"

Cyclonus follows directly behind Galvatron. "Soundwave!" he announces, as if some gigantic purple parrot. "Lord Galvatron has problems with his audioreceptors, you will fix it immediately or face his wrath!"

Soundwave is just putting away a bin of doodads when Galv walks in. So the Communicator turns to examine his Glorious Leader. He seems to wait for a few moments, then picks up a portable scanner and begins walking over. Cyclonus is mostly ignored except for a brief, silent glare. "Hail Lord Galvatron," and in Galv's head the salutation is sure to echo (tron TRON tron..). "Soundwave reporting," (re WAVE ting..).

"GGYYYARRRGHHH!" Galvatron says as Soundwave's monotone echoes strangely, expressing his rage by shoving a box of supplies off a countertop, where they spill and clatter, making a mess. "NNNNNN, CYCLONUS, /CLEAN THAT UP/!" he roars, clearly having one of his Welker Days.

Galvatron lurches over and sits on a medical bed, fiddling with his crown to try and remove his helmet. "SABOTAGE, SOUNDWAVE!" he screams. "FIRST THAT /ACCURSED/ HEAD MAIL -- AND NOW THIS! SOMEONE HAS /PURPOSEFULLY/ ALTERED MY AUDIOS, SOUNDWAVE," Galvatron says, waving his fists around in a fit of conspiracy-theory, "TRYING TO DRIVE /ME/ /MAD/!" Galvatron says this as if the notion was preposterous.

"Of course my Lord" bows Cyclonus, who then points to a passing gumby. "CLEAR THAT UP BY COMMAND OF GALVATRON!" he barks, before marching over to Soundwave. "None may meddle with Lord Galvatron's mind, Soundwave, not even Unicron himself! You are to remove this pox or I will have you rebuilt into a Sky Lynx!"

Rebuilt as a Sky Lynx? Soundwave's dream of flying free amongst the stars and loving all the universe could become a reality! No! Musn't let on, no one can know!

Ahem.

Soundwave approaches the medical bed, holding the scanner up to Galvatron's head. Purely for show. In fact, he's already modified this scanner along with the medical terminals to provide whatever reports he wants them to display. "Affirmative. Scanning.." he resonates, and the little device makes little bleeping and blooping sounds, like this: beep bloOOP BEEP BLEeep blooOoop. "Detecting anomalous activity in aural housing," he concludes. "Replacement recommended."

"What is the SOURCE!" Cyclonus slams a fist angrily on a table. "This is inconceivable Soundwave, an attack on Galvatron himself! You will track this assault and /annihilate/ whoever attacked our Master!"

Soundwave subtly makes Cyclonus' furious yelling echo VERY LOUDLY IN GALVATRON'S HEAD.

"STOP," Galvatron bellows, pushing the scanner away as it delivers its forged results. "SILENCE, CYCLONUS!" He screams, the echo of Cyclonus' voice causing him to seize up so violently that he falls off the table, clutching his head and writhing on the ground.

Galvatron slowly stands. "I CAN HEAR IT! RADIO WAVES... /MOCKING ME/!" Actually, it's just a redirected signal of some jets laughing at a dirty joke about Arcee. Of course, the laughter is looped and looped, and grows louder and louder. "THEY WILL PAY FOR THIS... SO DEARLY... SO DEARLY INDEED!" Galvatron flips a med-table over. "CLEAN IT UP!" he roars at some random Constructirobot.

Then, Galvatron whirls on his heel to face Soundwave. "Ah, but they did not count on my secret weapon," Galvatron says, grinning feverishly and gripping Soundwave by the shoulders. "You, Soundwave, who have stood by me through thick and thin -- you will REBUILD my audios -- make them STRONGER than EVER BEFORE!"

"Yes, silence Cyclonus!" bellows Cyclonus, who turns and raises his gun to blast a passing blue helicopter Decepticon in the head. Cyclonus then raises a chronometer and presses a button. "I have started the timer My Lord!" he announces. "You have three minutes Soundwave."

Cyclonus the helicopter (it's a common name!) is walking along, fresh from having his face completely repaired. "Ahh," he says, "I feel like a new robot!" Then Cyclonus blasts him in the head, causing one side of his face to explode. "WHHHYYYYYY?!" he screams.

Next time Soundwave gets the urge to throw his Commander and Friends out of an airlock, he'll remember to scan for godlike superweapons first. They have a habit of making people bigger, stronger, and crazier.

Soundwave points at the surface of the medical table. "Required: remain motionless. Probable result of noncompliance: additional damage, reduced brain function." Three minutes? Pshaw. Not even a challenge.

Cyclonus stares at his Chronometer as Soundwave makes his insane demands. Galvatron? Remain still? "Do not be traitorous Soundwave!" he announces. "Your perchant for deceit and deception is well known. At the slightest sign of treachery I will destroy you"

Galvatron growls, laying down on the table and struggling to remain still, which is always a challenge when he's all angried up. "Just /do it/," he rasps at Soundwave. "And then, the /SABOTEUR/ who--"

Galvatron pauses. "Saboteur..." he murmurs, slowly turning his head to look at Cyclonus.

Cyclonus turns to shoot the helicoptor Cyclonus again. "OUT!" he bellows

Crawling for the door, Cyclonus the helicopter is shot in the ass, half of which explodes, knocking him toward the doors, which open and shut for him with a 'whoosh.'

Soundwave should really just kill them. Open up Galvatron's armored helmet and put a spike through his brain, then take the cannon and blast Cyclonus' stupid ugly V-shaped head into the next star system.

But no, that would cause another Civil War, and there's been one of those already this season. Also, the last time he vied for power, he lost to Starscream. If history repeats itself, he'd probably end up losing to -Ramjet-. No, he must take power through other, subtler means. And wait.

Soundwave doesn't hesitate in removing Galvatron's headwear, seeking access to the delicate internal audio sensors and radio relays. He taps a few buttons on the table's data terminal and a medical drone hurries over with an array of parts and tools necessary to the operation.

Galvatron lays there like a growling, unhappy lump, rather like a child being made to sit still he's getting his ears checked out by the pediatrician. "It is good I have soldiers as /loyal/ as you, Soundwave," Galvatron grumbles. "Ones I can always /count on/, who lack /ambition/ to rise beyond their /station/."

"That's right Soundwave!" Cyclonus mumbles rather uselessly. "Be careful, you would not want to make a mistake." He starts pacing up and down the room, pounding a fist into his open palm. "We have lost the advantage, we must regather our forces to strike at the Autobots before too much ground is lost. If the war fails Soundwave, I blame YOU!"

Galvatron's comment is punctuated by Cyclonus' rant, causing the Decepticon tyrant to sigh in annoyance.

Soundwave is just disconnecting Galvatron's right audio sensor when Cyclonus makes his accusation. This is enough to cause him to pause and glare back over his shoulder. He idly contemplates putting the mecha-whosit-audio-sensor-remover thingy through Cyclonus' eye. "Removing sensors.." he reports, unnecessarily feeling the need to narrate all his actions. The first sensor comes out easily, followed rapidly by the second, leaving Galvatron effectively deaf. In this time of opportunity, while he is retrieving the two replacements from the medical drone, he addresses Cyclonus: "Silence. Opinion of Cyclonus.. unwanted, valueless." The word 'lapdog' seems to float at the edges of perceptibility, but that might be your imagination.

Galvatron stares upward, fists clenching, as if preparing to fend off an assassin who might strike while he's momentarily incapacitated.

"I have no opinions" lies Cyclonus. "The words I speak are the words of Galvatron himself, so to insult me is to insult him, for it is through me that He speaks!" He pounds his fist into his hand again. "And he demands speed and perfection! Do not fail Soundwave!" As if Soundwave didn't know that!

The word 'useless' filters through the room as if from the hallway.

Soundwave turns his attention fully to Galvatron's ears, reconnecting one lead and then the other. "Replacement complete. Adjusting input levels." Tweak, torque, turn, and the input volume begins to normalize for the Glorious Leader.

 Geist says, "Do we happen to have any samples stored of that delightfully insidious Cosmic Rust contageon?"

 Onslaught says, "If we do, it ought not to be disturbed."

 Geist says, "Thank you for that unhelpful answer full of motherly advice."

 Onslaught says, "Ignore if you feel so inclined."

 Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "You wish to scare someone with it, do you not?"

 Geist says, "Likewise."

Galvatron sits up, shaking his head against his palm as his audioreceptors correct themselves. "I can hear -- THOSE ACCURSED /VOICES/ DISTURB ME NO /LONGER/!" Galvatron thrusts his fists into the air in victory. Behind him, the Gumby Medic stares, dumbfounded.

 Geist says, "Yes, to some extent, Sunder. In the line of duty ofcourse."

 Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "Ahhh excellent. Do you actually need to convince them we have it?  Or is the mere threat of its possession by us enough?"

 Geist says, "Oh no, Sunder... I fully intend to avoid bluffing altogether. A real threat and promise."

Soundwave reaches up to pluck the radio module out of the back of Galvatron's head while his helmet is still off and he's celebrating. "Probable source of malfunction: damaged radio interface." He sets the 'broken' one on a tray and then plugs in the replacement just as swiftly. "Report further anomalous perception."

 Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "As I surmised. Well then, authenticity is the best policy, I always say."

"Yes, Soundwave, this is /perfect/," Galvatron says, grinning. "Any further attempts to intrude on my /HARMONY/ and /PEACE OF MIND/ will be met with /ABJECT AND UTTER EXTERMINATION, UNTIL NOT EVEN THEIR ATOMS SURVIVE/!" Galvatron skates off on a mad peal of laughter, launching to his feet and striding toward the exit. "CYCLONUS! COME! I have a SABOTEUR to find..."

Soundwave resonates, sharply, "Lord Galvatron.." He holds up the crowned helmet for his commander to take.

Galvatron spins around. "Ah. Yes." If he is at all humbled by this moment of zealous forgetfulness, he attempts not to let it show, although he is duly silenced.

Soundwave reaches up to place the crown on his lord's head. A second coronation, perhaps. Maybe there's a bomb in it this time. Maybe not. Probably not. "Recommended: full radio systems test."

"Ah, good idea," Galvatron smiles. And then he does so.

 Galvatron says, "DECEPTICONS!"

 <:D Catechism says, "Yes, sir?"

Cyclonus violently clicks off his chronometer. "Contratulations Soundwave" he coldly states. "You live. And now my Lord, I will personally find and annhihilate this traitor!"

 Galvatron says, "Whoever DARED to interfere with my SYSTEMS will be DESTROYED."

 Galvatron says, "That is /ALL/."

 Geist says, "Wasn't that Americon, my Lord?"

 Cyclonus says, "Lord Galvatron is VERY ANGRY Geist, do not try his patience"

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Is your patience an acceptable substitute, Commander Cyclonus?"

<Decepticon> Galvatron ignores Geist, if he hears him at all.

<Decepticon> Onslaught says, "Geist has been shown to be averse to advice, Commander Cyclonus. I do not believe I had realized the full extent of the situation till now."

Soundwave casually takes all the leftover parts and stashes them in a carrying bin marked 'Recycling.'

Cyclonus turns and marches back into the room. He takes out a beautifully crafted tiny coffin made of finest wood and inlaid with precious metals. "Soundwave, you are to dispose of Lord Galvatron's parts in a way fitting for a God!"

Soundwave takes the tiny coffin. He supposes he'll have to incinerate it at midnight at the center of the glassy ruin of Darkmount. "Affirmative," he responds, and very slowly, very precisely begins laying the parts in their chest.

<Decepticon> Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder sighs audibly over the channel.

Galvatron watches this and grunts, apparently accepting this mode of disposal. "In any case. COME. There is /much/ to be done," Galvatron rasps to Cyclonus, turning to leave. "Soundwave -- keep an audio out. For anything that might /afoot/." Galvatron nods curtly, and barrels on out.