Bronco Bustin' 2029

Summary: Several transformers test their skills and endurance by seeing who ran ride a buckin' Igyak the longest!

Six Lasers - Cheyne Ig-Yac Ranch

You ever try to milk an Ig-Yac, son? It ain't easy.

Ranches and other attractions cover the planet of Cheyne. They offer places for tourists to stay, as well as feature cattle rides, cowboy shows, aliens gazing off at the sunset with a wistful look in his eye while occasionally saying 'Yup' in a long, drawn out fashion, and other Wild West-themed attractions. All ranches have a stable of the planet's main draw, though: Ig-Yacs.

Ig-Yacs (also spelled Ig-Yak) are bipedal reptilian creatures that vaguely resemble a thin 'upright' T-Rex. Standing a good head and shoulders taller than a Dinobot, Ig-Yacs are large enough for most Transformers to ride Yoshi style. Although the ones on the ranch have been domesticated, a strong will and mean temperament make them a challenge for even an experienced rider. This makes them the perfect candidate for the Bucking Broncho event. Hold on tight!

Sunder is eager to prove his skill on the back of an Igyak once again. He's done quite well in previous years, and utters a low rumble in the presence of the beasts, to let them know who is boss.

"Sorry Scourge, Ig-Yaks don't speak /stupid/" Raindance quips quietly

Cheyne (also affectionately known as Cowboy Planet) is ripped right out of the Old Wild West (lots of planets have a west, after all). The sun is beating down on the near-desert like terrain. It's hot, but the dryness in the air makes it bearable. The location for this event is one of the many Ig-Yac/Ig-Yak/Ick-Yak/etc ranches surface-side, which consists of a single building made up of wooden planks that looks like it's about to fall over, and a fenced off area where the Ick-Yaks roam.

Clint Eastwood, or an alien that looks remarkably like him (the only difference are the eye-stocks instead of normal eyes) slowly walks out of a nearby saloon. There's a cowboy hat on his head, and a blade of grass sticking out of his mouth. He swaggers out towards the ranch, stopping by Raindance. "Storm's comin'," Clint mutters to the Autobot. Then Sunder arrives. Is Sunder the storm?

"Eheheheh," snickers the Air Commander quietly as Raindance serves a Sweep. Even if it is Scourge, Ramjet has little issue in enjoying his misfortunes. He walks up behind Sunder but pays him little mind, instead looking around for Blueshift. Where is he?

Storm? How about an earthquake? That would be Grimlock's footsteps as he trompatrompatromps to the ranch. "Hrr!" he says- taking a moment to glance over towards the Ig-Yak pasture. "Him Ku tell me Grimlock stories 'bout them things!" he hmmms...and then grunts a bit. "...Them not look so tough."
 * Boom! Boom! Boom!*

Cliffjumper is wearing robot chaps. They are actually Nepsan chaps for riding yetis, but Nepsans are robot-sized, and when Cliffjumper wears them they are robot chaps.

"Awright," he says, "let's bust some ick-yaks!"

Robotic Bald Eagle  soars in, and perches on Sunder's shoulder. His expression is grim, as if he knows the incredible task ahead of him. Or... it's probably just the fact Bald Eagles always kinda look that way.

A little gun nozzle comes out of Raindance's front as Cliffjumper talks. "Oh" he emits. "Bust them up? We're supposed to shoot them?"

Cliffjumper shrugs. "You compete however you like, Raindance, an' the Olympic Committee can sort it out for themselves."

"Y'don't shoot an Ig-Yak, son," Clint tells Raindance. "Or the Ig-Yak shoots back." He stops and waits, letting this profound statement sink in. Clint slowly turns to face the other arrivals. "Y'all'er makin' more noise than a stampede of space cattle." He chews on the blade of grass for a few seconds. He's so Texan that American may have trouble walking after this is done. "Right then. Y'all are here to take turns at try'n to tame some of the meanest beasts in this here quadrant. An' after we do that we're gonna go drill us sum oil." Eastwood swaggers up to the gate in the fence. Several Ig-Yaks wander over. Clint just smiles at Grimlock. It is a knowing smile. It is not the smile of someone full of BS. Ok, maybe it is. "This here is our Ick-Yaks. Let me introduce to you Dave Gorman, Trakker, Mr. Pokey, Ziggy, Joe Bumbly, Sah-Clone-us, an' Quockswotch. Quockswotch here's named after the greatest hero our sister planet's ever known." Clint pats Quockswotch affectionately. But /manly/ affection.

Ramjet glares at Cyclonus the Ig-Yak before he ends up glaring at Grimlock. "I think -this- one is perfect for you, /Dolt/lock. Small. Shaved. Just like your cranial circuits."

Raindance floats up and down excitedly. "I want Joe Bumbly, I want Joe Bumbly!" he beeps, an embaressing mess

A Mysterious stranger enters the ranch, just as a chill wind kicks up a swirl of dust. Is THIS the storm that was foretold? The stranger wears a long, concealing poncho, with a wide-brimed hat leaving his face obscured by shadow. Glinting red optics watch the Clint lookalike closely as he explains the Ick-Yak rodeo.

"Me Grimlock BEST Ig-Yak rider!" So Grimlock decrees. "'cuz me Grimlock am best at EVERYTHING!" he gloats, and trompatrompatromps towards the corral, quite unintimidated. After all, when one's faced down Unicron, a big overgrown lizard is no problem! He pauses, then looks over towards Ramjet. "You shut up, um...DUMB Jet! Yeah! Me Grimlock bust MEANEST thing! Bust IN FACE."

Robotic Bald Eagle  squawks shrilly. "MISTER ALIEN TEXAN! I will do battle with your greatest hero, and defeat him, then *I* will be your greatest hero, ever, in America!"

Ramjet grits his teeth and grunts at Grimlock. He shakes his fist at him, "One day, when I find the biggest anti-Dinobot laser I can find...."

Long Haul  is green.. and not at all large. He just sort of stands around waiting for the event to start. He looked on dispassionately.. He was here to ride something and prove the power of Constructicon crotch technology.

Sunder grins, baring his fangs. If Grimlock is any good at Igyak riding, it's either through dumb luck or sheer dino brute strength. "I would think a Dinobot's weight would snap those beasts in two," he murmurs.

The lime green, Dump Truck kicks it's bucket back, shrinking greatly as it transforms into the.. um.. uninteresting Decepticon; Long Haul

"Right then," Clint says, "How 'bout you boys just simmer down. You'll get yer chance to prove yer the best there is at whatever it is you do... bub," he tells Grimlock. "And you," he turns towards Americon. "You just concentrate on not makin' a fool of yerself." Eastwood snaps his fingers. Clint looks over at the Sweep. "Now... you look like a robot that respects the Ig-Yak's power 'n grace. You go show 'em how it's done." Clint moves aside and swings open the gate, letting Sunder in to pick his Ig-Yak. Not that Sunder couldn't have just flown over the fence, but it's the thought that counts.

"Once this Sweep here has gone," Clint continues, "Then y'all are going to get the chance to give it a whirl yerselves. Once everyone's had their fair shot, we go onto round 2. The buckers in the top half of the rankings move on. We repeat that until we have ourselves some medalists." Clint spits on the ground. "Anyone have any stupid questions?" Eastwood fully expects that he will.

Ramjet looks down at Americon when Clint asks this question. Wait, shouldn't he look at Grimlock, too?

Ramjet looks around for Yul Brynner.

Robotic Bald Eagle  launches off of Sunder so that he can get ready. "YES! Do you have therapists on standby for when I utterly humiliate your Ig-Yak!? Because he will need one when I DEFEAT HIM and he needs to recover from his shameful defeat! SQUAAAAAAWK!" He flies around in circles overhead like a patriotic vulture, which is perhaps appropriate for the setting.

"Yeah, you bring big laser, and then me Grimlock just smash it anyway!" The dinocommander hnfs at the seeker...and neatly misses a better part of 'Clint's' speech. No matter, as Grimlock is probably awesome at Ig-Yakking anyway. He's awesome at everything, after all!

The Mysterious stranger in his poncho and sombrero waits paitently off to the side, his optics watching the Sweeps closely as the Unicronian Sunder is instructed to choose and mount a creature.

Sunder ponders a moment before choosing the beast he will ride. He sidles over to Trakker and gets on, swinging up in one fluid motion. If things get hairy, he can dig in with his claws. He rumbles in relief as Americon vacates his shoulder. He'll get the talon-marks buffed out later. Uttering a nonverbal guttural growl, the Sweep begins the ride.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder is placed on the back of Trakker the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

The ig-yac tries to fall on its side to pin the rider.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Cliffjumper watches, unimpressed by Sunder.

Raindance bobs next to Cliffjumper. "Got the duct tape?" he muttersd

Grimlock hnf. "That not so hard!" he says, looking & watching sunder. "Thing just fall over! Him must get BROKEN one!"

Long Haul says, "He's a Sweep.. don't expect much."

Redshift humphs. Doesn't look so hard! He keepsa hiden underneath his voluminous poncho and sombrero, watching and biding his time to ride.

Clint Eastwood doesn't look impressed either. "Trakker always wuz a bit of a laz-about," he mutters to nobody. Clint takes off his cowboy hat and uses his sleeve to wipe the sweat off his brow after a long hard day's work of doing whatever the hell Cowboys do to make them sweat so much.

Cliffjumper rips off a strip and rolls it so that it can stick something to something else. He then applies one side of the duct tape ring to Raindance's underside. "You're good ta go, pal," he says.

A rider as experienced as Sunder knows the tricks of the beasts, and is not surprised by the beast's attempt to flop on one side and dislodge him. Sunder counterbalances his weight so that he doesn't get pinned, then skillfully rebalances as the Igyak gets up again. "I heard that," he murmurs in Long Haul's direction.

Doing ferrets proud, the ig-yac bounces sideways, hard, several times in a row.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Raindance buzzes towards Quockswotch, and slowly lowers himself over the beast's back.

"Yay look at me!" he emits as he attempts to ride the Ig-Yak. "I'm a HERO!"

Beast Rodeo: Raindance is placed on the back of Quockswotch the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

"Hrr! This boring!" and with that, Grimlock steps over the fence to the corral, glancing over towards Sunder, impassive. "Me Grimlock show all you how it done!" and, picking out the meanest-looking Ig-Yak he can find (quite a feat, given this bunch), he swings one leg up upon it, and takes hold of the harness! ...Let's see if the thing can even support his weight!

Porsche 924 Mini  bounds toward Joe Bumbly the Igyak. "Awright! Time to show you jerks how a /real/ Autobot does things!"

Cliffjumper's hood bursts outward as his robot mode rises to its full height.

The mysterious cloaked stranger moseys on along, choosing the Igyak by the name of Mr Pokey. He sweeps his wavy poncho, and leaps up onto the back of the unsuspecting creature, digging in with his heels. He even bought a pair of spurs for just this occasion!

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper is placed on the back of Joe Bumbly the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

Beast Rodeo: Grimlock is placed on the back of Dave Gorman the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

The ig-yac jerks to a sudden stop!

Beast Rodeo: Grimlock manages to stay in control of Dave Gorman the Igyak for another round!

Beast Rodeo: Redshift is placed on the back of Mr Pokey the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

Bucking wildly, the ig-yac comes tromping and stomping across the arena!

Beast Rodeo: Redshift manages to stay in control of Mr Pokey the Igyak for another round!

Knocking over a few barrels, the ig-yac keeps bucking.

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper manages to stay in control of Joe Bumbly the Igyak for another round!

The ig-yac spins counterclockwise.

Beast Rodeo: Raindance manages to stay in control of Quockswotch the Igyak for another round!

Cliffjumper grips the saddle tightly, despite being totally tiny compared to the Igyak. "Whoo!" he hollers. "Ha ha ha! This is more fun than the time me an' Hubcap went sleddin' on Motormaster's unconscious body!"

Beast Rodeo: Ramjet is placed on the back of Ziggy the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

Suddenly, the ig-yac snorts out a cloud of fire and smoke!

Beast Rodeo: Ramjet is knocked off of Ziggy the Igyak!

Clint watches as everyone begins bucking with one another. He slowly reaches over and pats Ziggy's snout. "Don't worry," he tells the lizard. "You'll be gettin' yer turn soon enough." Eastwood smiles as Ramjet chooses this one, slowly stepping aside. He tips his hat at the conehead. Nice knowing you, sucker.

Raindance bounces atop his Ic Yak. "Come on Quocky!" he bleeps as the duct tape strains, and his cowboy hat bounces about. "We need to beat that awful Mr Cliffjumper, so I win the money I bet on this event, and the Meccanibals don't take me out back and beat me up!"

The ig-yac slows briefly, rolling eyes, snorting, and looking unimpressed.

Beast Rodeo: Raindance is knocked off of Quockswotch the Igyak!

There's a mighty bellow from the ig-yac as it thrashes hard to the left.

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper manages to stay in control of Joe Bumbly the Igyak for another round!

Grimlock sits on his Ig-Yak. It...doesn't move. "Hey!" he says, bouncing his knees a little bit- probably abusing the poor creature. Doesn't help much that Grim's nearly as big as the thing. "Me Grimlock's Ig-Yak broken!" he says. And then, as Ramjet flies off so suddenly, he can't help but point and laugh. "HAW HAW HAW! YOU RAMJET DUMB!"

Raindance tumbles off as duct-tape flies everywhere :(

The bucking ig-yac slips on some unidentified substance.

Beast Rodeo: Grimlock manages to stay in control of Dave Gorman the Igyak for another round!

The mysterious stranger is bucked quickly by the ugly, multi-legged beast, and his sombrero is tossed off into the air, revealing it to be the Decepticon Redshift! He digs in with his heels, grasping the beast around the neck, and holding on for dear life! The ig-yac spins counterclockwise.

Beast Rodeo: Redshift manages to stay in control of Mr Pokey the Igyak for another round!

"Yee-hoo!" Cliffjumper hollers as Cliffjumper barely hangs on. "Sorry, Raindance, but at least ya outlasted Ramjet! Prob'ly best ta leave this one to those of us who got arms an' legs!"

"Ha-ha!" Ramjet shouts as he leaps onto the beast. He then thrusts his arms into the air and shouts victoriously, forgetting to realize that he had to hold onto the beast if he wanted to stay on. Flung off, Ramjet promptly responds to Grimlock by transforming into an F-15 and shooting past his head -really fast-.

Ramjet transforms! His arms fold into his chest cavity as his legs fuse together to allow his thruster housings to slide snug against his chassis. Wings link together and lock into place as his cockpit twists into position. Ramjet retreats from the area swiftly, outdistancing all pursuit and parting shots.

Long Haul's cold depraved soul warms once he sees Ramjet go flying, "Lousy Seeker." he critiques befor he himself passes the gate, heading for the remaining critter.. The only way this could be better is if he were purple.

Beast Rodeo: Long Haul is placed on the back of Cyclonus the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

Kicking up clods of dirt, the ig-yac leaps back and forth between front and back paws.

Beast Rodeo: Long Haul manages to stay in control of Cyclonus the Igyak for another round!

The ig-yac barrel-rolls in mid-jump!

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper manages to stay in control of Joe Bumbly the Igyak for another round!

Redshift suceeds on holding on to his filthy creature, although as the thing spins him around, he can see that some of the other compeititor are not so lucky! "Come on you beast, don't you DARE throw me off if you want to LIVE!" He snarls in the creature's ear. He doesn't know if he thing can understand him or not, but he tried anyway. "You'll be made into cheap knockoff fashion HANDBAGS if you knock me off!"

The ig-yac whirls clockwise!

Beast Rodeo: Redshift manages to stay in control of Mr Pokey the Igyak for another round!

"Sure Cliffjumper, sure!" Raindance bleeps, as a small gun nozzle sneakily comes out of his front, and a metal spike blasts off, crackling with electricity at Cliffjumper.

Raindance strikes Cliffjumper with drain.

Raindance drains energon from Cliffjumper.

Long Haul is bucked and bucked and bucked, snapping to and fro as Cyclonus lets him have it. Long Haul has never been bucked so hard in his life! Cursing and grunting, the Constructicon holds on tight, muttering profanities towards bunny eared flyers everywhere.

The ig-yac changes direction, jumping backwards!

Beast Rodeo: Long Haul is knocked off of Cyclonus the Igyak!

"Rargh!" Grimlock stays put- his feet nearly brushing the ground as his Ig-Yak bucks and writhes- though Ramjet's head-buzzing seems to be giving the dinobot more trouble. He does point and laugh at Long Haul, too.

The ig-yac tries to fall on its side to pin the rider.

Beast Rodeo: Grimlock is knocked off of Dave Gorman the Igyak!

Cliffjumper's igyak barrel-rolls mid-jump, and as Cliffjumper is spun upside down, a metal-spike blasts him in the face. As his igyak continues his rampage, Cliffjumper screams, "AWW, AW PRIMUS, WHYYYY" in utter agony, still holding on somehow despite his face having a huge spike stuck into it.

The ig-yac slows briefly, rolling eyes, snorting, and looking unimpressed.

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper manages to stay in control of Joe Bumbly the Igyak for another round!

Balancing like an acrobat, flaring his wings as necessary, Sunder compensates for Trakker's erratic sideways motions. He chuckles as he notices that Grimlock's beast is basically a couch now. He also notes with amusement the speed at which Ziggy launches Ramjet into the air. "A pity he didn't land on his head, on Grimlock," he says, getting ready to dig in his claws if the beast starts acting up.

With a growl, the ig-yac tries to bite at the rider.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Clint stands stoically as Raindance and Ramjet are promptly knocked off, while others just keep going and going and going. Although it may not look like it, the alien cowboy really is paying attention and can tell how long each person has been on their respective Ick-Yacks. He is particularly impressed with Grimlock... up until the DinobotCommander is firmly knocked right off. This leaves Cliffjumper and Redshift as the kings for round 1.

Perhaps Redshift's stream of threats seems to be working! Or maybe this one is just defective. Too much igyac inbreeding? The beast spins him clockwise, but he manages to hold on, lacing his fingers together in a death grip on the beast's neck.

The ig-yac tries to head-butt one of the rodeo clowns.

Beast Rodeo: Redshift manages to stay in control of Mr Pokey the Igyak for another round!

Beast Rodeo: Americon is placed on the back of Quockswotch the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

"Yeah, wut, that all you can do?! Stuopid slaggin-hurk!" and with a sudden change of tactics, Long haul is sent flying.. atleast he's in bad company.

 Blueshift says, "I TRIUMPH"

Robotic Bald Eagle  finally descends onto Quockswotch, settling onto his back and sharply digging his talons into the creature's back. "Kneel before my patriotic might, you bastard!" Americon cries, pecking at the Ig-Yak's neck. Of course, it does not like that.

There's a mighty bellow from the ig-yac as it thrashes hard to the left.

Beast Rodeo: Americon manages to stay in control of Quockswotch the Igyak for another round!

Grimlock's Ig-Yak collapses! Grimlock isn't 'thrown' off so much as 'rolled'...which his quite an event, nonetheless. "Grr! Stupid thing!" he says, pushing himself up to his feet. "Stupid Ig-Yak too weak for me Grimlock!" Poor Dave Gorman hisses a bit, and slinks off to elsewhere in the arena to go chew on a rodeo clown or two. Maybe next time he'll get a rider who isn't as big as he is!

 Scrapper dies a little on the inside.

 Galvatron says, "Nnggg."

 Galvatron says, "Nhhhh."

 Galvatron says, "NnnnnnNNNNYYYYARRRRGGGGHHH"

 Geist says, "Lord Galvatron.... are you bound and gagged? One moan for yes, two for no."

Redshift snarls as he hears about the vicotry of his blue brother over the radio, focusing his anger at blueshift into anger at Mr Pokey the Ickyak. He grabs even harder, clinging on for dear life, laughing as the beast tries to chase down a helpless rodeo clown.

 Galvatron says, "Was that a /joke/, /Sweep/."

The ig-yac barrel-rolls in mid-jump!

Beast Rodeo: Redshift manages to stay in control of Mr Pokey the Igyak for another round!

 Galvatron says, "Choose your answer carefully."

 Geist says, "Only if your worshipfulness wishes it."

 Galvatron says, "Because this... /imbecile/ is advancing in the tournament. Every time he does, the risk grows."

<Decepticon> Galvatron says, "That the proud face of Decepticon victory."

<Decepticon> Galvatron says, "Will be /Blueshift's/."

Robotic Bald Eagle <Americon>'s sharp talons keep him dug into the Ig-Yak's hide, and this, combined with his onslaught of pecks, enrages the creature like few riders have ever done. "YOU ARE NOT FIT FOR THE RODEO, YOU LITTLE CREEP! YOU SUCK! YOU STINK! GO RETIRE!"

<Decepticon> Galvatron says, "So I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR JOKES! /BWWWWAAAHHHHH/!"

The ig-yac tries to head-butt one of the rodeo clowns.

Beast Rodeo: Americon manages to stay in control of Quockswotch the Igyak for another round!

<Decepticon> Galvatron can be heard firing his cannon at something.

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Well, perhaps either Americon or more likely myself will rearrange that face."

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "Thank you my lie-ARGH-"

<Decepticon> Galvatron says, "YES! A king's ransom of energon to the first Decepticon to /knock Blueshift out of competition/!"

<Decepticon> Dirge says, "Lord Galvatron, imagine the embarrassment of the Autobots should the least of us defeat them all.."

"BOOOO CLIFFJUMPER!" Raindance emits as the minibot manages to hang on. "BOOOOO!"

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "No Dirge, Redshift is already /out/"

The harness starts to slide to one side of the ig-yac.

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper manages to stay in control of Joe Bumbly the Igyak for another round!

<Decepticon> Counterpunch says, "Hmm. I wonder if perhaps I should enter the sharpshooting contest once more."

"OH GOD!" a rodeo clown yells shortly before being gored by the Ig-Yak. It's really quite gruesome, thanks to the rage Americon instilled in it. "You are the loseriest of all rodeo animals! I've seen sheep put up a better fight than you! You are worthless, do you hear me!?" PECK PECK PECK.

<Decepticon> Scrapper says, "Don't worry, Commander, I assure you Blueshift will not defeat us in the engineering competition."

The ig-yac tries to head-butt one of the rodeo clowns.

Beast Rodeo: Americon manages to stay in control of Quockswotch the Igyak for another round!

Cliffjumper's harness slides and he is now riding the Igyak sideways, unable to see for the spike stuck into his eyes. "AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!" he screams. "WHAT'S EVEN HAPPENIN' I CAN'T SEEEEEE!"

Whoo, five rounds and still going strong! Redshift had never even SEEN an igyak before, let alone thought he'd be riding one. But, it seems he is in fact AWESOME as bronco bustin'! He lets out a victorious whoop, as the beast dubbed Mr Pokey romps around the penned in area of the ranch.

The harness starts to slide to one side of the ig-yac.

Beast Rodeo: Redshift manages to stay in control of Mr Pokey the Igyak for another round!

<Decepticon> Galvatron says, "Imagine the embarassment of /ME/, Dirge, having /Blueshift/ as the mightiest of my warriors!"

Grimlock trompatrompatromps across the corral, and just *LOOMS* over Redshift. "Hey! You no boo Autobots!" he says. "Or me SMASH you!" he growls, and cracks his knuckles- so much for 'sportsmanship' but hey, Grimlock gave a warning! That's more than usual.

The ig-yac tries to head-butt one of the rodeo clowns.

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper manages to stay in control of Joe Bumbly the Igyak for another round!

Trakker hisses and snaps at Sunder, and the Sweep hisses right back! "You will not best me," the Sweep growls. He groans at some chatter he hears over the channel, shaking his head before turning his attention back to the ride. He notices some Autobots are still holding on, and he means to out-last them at all costs!

Tossing its head, the ig-yac shoots off in a bouncy gallop.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

"No, not me, someone help me!!!" another rodeo clown yells, shortly before the Ig-Yak descends upon him without mercy. "Oh, you mauled another clown!" Americon yells between pecks. "Whoop-tee-doo! I could kill FIVE clowns in tape mode! No seriously, I've done it! I got a little cannon in that mode and everything."

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Sunder, catechism, Razorclaw and Blitzwing in the middleweight division are an admirable selection for victors, Lord."

A rodeo clown responds to the attempted headbutt by shooting the igyak in the face with a shotgun, which just makes it angrier. With both rider (sideways) and igyak facially injured, Cliffjumper's wild ride continues.

The ig-yac flips end over end to try to dislodge the rider.

Beast Rodeo: Americon manages to stay in control of Quockswotch the Igyak for another round!

Clint Eastwood doesn't bother helping the rodeo clowns. Clint Eastwood is too badass for rodeo clowns. Going to help them would just make the rodeo clowns die of shock, which wouldn't help the situation. And so Clint Eastwood remains where he is, watching the Ick-Yaks buck those Transformers as best they can.

Suddenly, the ig-yac snorts out a cloud of fire and smoke!

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper manages to stay in control of Joe Bumbly the Igyak for another round!

Robotic Bald Eagle <Americon> stays on despite the amazing backflip, perhaps because his claws have sunken into the Ig-Yak so deeply. Americon doesn't seem to care how angry the thing is, and is even trying to make it angrier, slapping it in the side of the head with his wing. "Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt?" SLAP. "How about that?" SLAP. "Or that?" SLAP.

Suddenly, the ig-yac snorts out a cloud of fire and smoke!

Beast Rodeo: Americon is knocked off of Quockswotch the Igyak!

Cliffjumper catches fire. "WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?!" he screams. "AM I ON FIRE?!"

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "They have not won their matches though, have they Geist"

Redshift grits his teeth as the creature continues to romp around. He spots the saddle beginning to slide off to one side, and tries to counter-balance it by leaning in the opposite direction. He tightens his grip on the beast, and brances himself for the inevitable... He probaly won't be able ot hold on much longer!

Bucking wildly, the ig-yac comes tromping and stomping across the arena!

Beast Rodeo: Redshift manages to stay in control of Mr Pokey the Igyak for another round!

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Strange."

Long Haul dusts himself off and picks himself up. He did his horrible best and he will no doubt be humiliated for attempting anything other then hauling equipment or supplies.. There is a moment's idle thought of seeing how well a Ig-Yak would fare if it were riding Long Haul.. but that moment quickly passes. "Y'louse earth-built heap of metal. Keep yer vocalizer shut and sit down with the rest of the losers." remarks Long Haul as he threatens Blueshift, a fist raised and shaken.

Robotic Bald Eagle <Americon> shrieks as he is blasted off of the Ig-Yak by an expected blast of fire, and tumbles to the ground. He stands up, shaking the dirt off of himself, remarking, "Well, that wasn't so--" CRUNCH CRUNCH STOMP! Quockswotch furiously stomps and hops up and down on Americon, roaring angrily. "ARRGH!"

Sunder holds on tightly as the beast begins running like a cross between a racehorse and a bronco. It's not enough by any means to dislodge the Sweep from the beast's back. So far, Sunder is still in control. He is the predator, and his mount is the prey.

The ig-yac whirls clockwise!

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Redshift kicks the beast with his spurred heels, sending Mr Pokey bucking and stomping across the penn. Redshift cries out, full of excitement and fear, "Yeeee HAW!" Wow, he never thought he'd be a champion BRONCO BUSTER in addition to a champion runner! "WOOOOOEE!"

<Decepticon> Blueshift says, "So currently, going by the results as they stand, I /am/ the Decepticon's finest warrior!"

Knocking over a few barrels, the ig-yac keeps bucking.

Beast Rodeo: Redshift is knocked off of Mr Pokey the Igyak!

A nimble leap carries the ig-yac halfway across the arena.

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper manages to stay in control of Joe Bumbly the Igyak for another round!

Grimlock hmms, and watches the goings on...and he finally makes an important decree. "This DUMB!" he says, and then abruptly trompatrompatromps on off to...well, somewhere else! Maybe there will be something shiny.

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "But I have the most MEDALS, Blueshift"

The rush of oxygen as the igyak leaping through the sky whooshes the flames off of Cloffjomper. "Wha -- wha -- wait, am I flyin'?!" he hollers, high in the air. "What's happenin'?!"

<Decepticon> Geist claws taps. "Americon. Busy? One of us needs to appease our lord with a victory over the other to advance in rounds.

"You're losing Cliffjumper!" Raindance bleeps. "Give up now!"

Redshift's exuberance is short-lived, however, as just as he clls out in a most stereotypical cowboy manner, he is flung from the back of Mr Pokey, and launched through the air. He lands heavily in the dust, but his poncho protects him from too much damage. "AHA! Seven ENTIRE rounds on the mightiest of Ickyaks! I shall be the champion!"

<Decepticon> Americon says, "Ow, ooh, argh!"

"Don't go tyin' yer britches before the chickens' eggs come home," Clint warns Redshift. "You still have more rounds to do, and I don't see that thar Sweep falling off anytime soon. Nor the little red fella with the goat horns on his head." Eastwood nods in Cliffjumper andJoe Bumbly's direction.

Sunder leans in as Trakker begins to chase his tail. Or, that's what it seems like. The Sweep notices Redshift getting bucked off, and is disappointed that the wrong red robot got thrown from his beast. "No minibot is going to best me at taming Igyaks!" Sunder snarls.

<Decepticon> Americon says, "Uh... one sec... having trouble with this bastard... OW."

The ig-yac slows briefly, rolling eyes, snorting, and looking unimpressed.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Robotic Bald Eagle <Americon>, after several minutes of brutal mauling, lies in a crumpled, colorful heap on the dusty ground. The Igyak slowly walks away from him, apparently satisfied.

Redshift ponders throwing a rock at Cliffjumper's Igyak... Or just at Cliffjumper himsefl, but the Olympic rules comitte might not approve of any interfereance. Redshift has no qualms against cheating, but only if he can get away with it. He grumbles in reply to alienClint, and styomps over to wher his sombrero lies, battered and dirty. He dusts it off and slaps it over his head, optics glowing like embers as he waits for the next round.

Bucking wildly, the ig-yac comes tromping and stomping across the arena!

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper is knocked off of Joe Bumbly the Igyak!

Cliffjumper is flung all the way into the stands, spitting up microchips after landing in a vat of Nepsan Arctic Circle Candy. "Auughh... why did I enter this..." he moans. Clint turns his attention away from Cliffjumper and towards Sunder. "Yer movin' onto the next round, y'know," he tells the Sweep as he struggles to stay on. Trakker is looking kind of tired at this point. Maybe he won't last much longer anyway.

Sunder grins as the minibot is flung far and wide, right into the crowd. "Now it's just you and me," he purrs at the beast. He utters an additional nonverbal growl, which could be Igyak for "Toss me too soon and I will turn you into Igyak burgers." The beast seems to be tiring, losing the will to fight the Sweep much right now. But this could be a feignt. Sunder keeps his wits about him, lest a relaxed grip sends him spiralling off into the wide blue yonder.

The harness starts to slide to one side of the ig-yac.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

As the harness slides, the Sweep quickly slides to the other side to compensate. "Not yet my pretty, not yet," he says, "Just a little longer. Give the Decepticons the glory they deserve."

The ig-yac slows briefly, rolling eyes, snorting, and looking unimpressed.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Ameripile remarks, "GEEZE, let it throw you already! You aren't a cowboy until you get mauled at least once, come on!"

Clint closes his eyes, but you can't tell because his face is hidden in shadow underneath his cowboy hat. He tries not to look bored as Sunder refuses to fall off the Ick-Yak.

Raindance slowly aims his gun at Sunder. "Just say the word!" he bleeps to anyone in sight

Trakker is noticeably wearing down now, or at least, is making a good show of it. Sunder does not fall for the tactic and grips tighter still, determined to outlast the amount of time that Cliffjumper spent on his Igyak. He doesn't care if boredom is starting to creep into the crowd. He wants to come out on top!

The ig-yac jerks to a sudden stop!

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Trakker grinds to a halt, and this is clearly a tactic to try to vault the Sweep over the beast's head and off. It does not work, however, since Sunder was wise to the tactic.

The ig-yac shakes like a wet dog drying itself off.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Clint Eastwood meanwhile picks up a stick. He begins writing four names in the dirt, one below the other. Next to each name he writes a number:

Americon: 4

Redshift: 7

Cliffjumper: 8

Sunder: ???

"Right then, we have ourselves the next round... once claws over there is done makin' a darn fool out of Trakker. Next round, you gotta use a different Ick-Yak than you used in the first. Give them lizards a chance to rest up."

Sunder finally sees that his spot in the next round is safe, and willingly dismounts from the Igyak. "Well done," he murmurs, and he's not referring to his preference of cooked animal flesh. Once he dismounts, he gazes at the alien Clint Eastwood.

The ig-yac flips end over end to try to dislodge the rider.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

The ig-yac whirls clockwise!

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

A nimble leap carries the ig-yac halfway across the arena.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Clint makes a mental note. Trakker goes back in the barn for the next round. Thinking better of it, Clint makes a second note: Trakker gets taken out back and shot for the next round.

Trakker gets sent to the glue factory :(

Well, it seems like Trakker has other ideas. He's not /letting/ the Sweep off. Perhaps the beast took to heart what Sunder said about Glory for the Decepticons?

Hunching its back, the ig-yac paws at the air with its foreclaws.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Bucking wildly, the ig-yac comes tromping and stomping across the arena!

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

Kicking up clods of dirt, the ig-yac leaps back and forth between front and back paws.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder manages to stay in control of Trakker the Igyak for another round!

"You wish to continue? Very well then," Sunder growls. Perhaps this beast will continue to ride itself to death? Who knows. The Sweep hears what Clint Eastwood says and grins. Maybe he'll get Igyak burgers out of the deal after all.

Kicking up clods of dirt, the ig-yac leaps back and forth between front and back paws.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder is knocked off of Trakker the Igyak!

Sunder finally finds a way off the beast. He dismounts as gracefully as possible, bowing to the crowd as his exhausted Igyak slumps down, panting. Some various aliens cheer Sunder's success, but there's some haters in the crowd and someone's beer cup misses the Sweep by mere inches, and the Sweep gets a facefull of Lucky, right in the beard. "So I see you like the cheap stuff?" the Sweep taunts at the thrower.

Redshift humphs as the Sweep makes such a big bloody show of it... Trakker is /clearly/ a defective Ickyak, and any fool can stay on a beast that doesn't buck like it ought to... He grumble,s getting impatient to begin the next round of bronco busting. He eyes Joe Bumble, the creature that was ridden by Cliffjumper. If Cliffjumper could go so long in it's back, it shold be a walk in the park for Redshift, right? He waits, impatiently, for Clint to officially begin the next round.

Clint scribbles out the ??? in the dirt and replaces it with... well it takes Clint a while to tally it all up, since he's a Cowboy and therefore didn't get much of an ed-ju-ma-cation, but he finally comes up with 16 at the end. "Right then. Burt, if yew could take care of ol' Trakker there..." From the saloon, another alien appears, looking exactly like Burt Lancaster. Burt takes Trakker by the reigns, leading the exhausted Ick-Yak away.

Ameripile suddenly pops up, whirling around until he is reformed into a robot. "Phew! That was quite a workout!" he says, grinning widely. Americon undergoes a patriotic transformation into his All-American robot mode!

Cliffjumper, groaning, climbs to his feet and wanders toward the field again, prying the spike out of his eyes. "Aw, here we go again," he mopes. Things are looking good for a second Decepticon gold medal, perhaps the 'cons can SWEEP the entire series of events. Redshift flings back his poncho, putting his hands on his hips, as he waits for Clint to make the announcement to begin, but keeping his eyes on the beast dubbed 'Joe Bumble'.

Sunder is ready for more, and he eyes the minibot with narrowed optics. For a brief moment, the visions of Igyak burgers morph briefly into visions of minibot burgers. Since Trakker is probably out of the question (and being ground up for burger meat as we speak), he ponders which of the other Igyaks to select.

Redshift struts his way back into the penn full of massive, pissed off Igyaks. He singles out the Joe Bumbly one, which is either tired from Cliffjumper's bronco bustin'... Or just getting warmed up. Is that the remains of a clown between it's claws? Well, time to show the beast who's boss, so Redshift leaps up onto the beefy taupe Igyak, and prepares to hold on for dear life!

Cliffjumper walks up to Quockswotch. "Awright, buddy, looks like we're doin' this. Hey, don't kill me, awright? Thanks, pal."

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper is placed on the back of Quockswotch the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

Beast Rodeo: Redshift is placed on the back of Joe Bumbly the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

Some of the audience's cheers cause the ig-yac to lunge at the wall!

Beast Rodeo: Redshift manages to stay in control of Joe Bumbly the Igyak for another round!

"Y'all don't need my say-so to start, y'know," Clint mutters with a chuckle. "We haven't got all day, and some of us have real work that we have to get done before sundown." Clint appraises the various choices that the riders make. Joe Bumbly and Quockswotch are selected. With Trakker out, it remains to be seen who Ameripile and Sunder will choose for Round 2.

Americon stabs a finger at one of the Igyaks, yelling, "I choose YOU, Cyclonus!" Then, he throws a rock at it, which bounces off of the Igyak's head. It bucks and tries to hop out of the pen, but it's firmly secured for now. That's convenient, since it aids Americon in sitting atop the beast.

Beast Rodeo: Americon is placed on the back of Cyclonus the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

Redshift waves his hand to the crowd, no dobt some of his fans from last night's foto race are here to watch this event as well. The rousing cheers, however, cause Bumbly to buck and charge for the fence, and Redshift only barely manages to keep the beast in line, haling back on it's neck and shouting, "Whoa beastie!" Redshift leans hard on one side, driving the igyak to turn, and romp back out into the middle of the penn, as Redshift clutches around it's neck as tightly as he can.

The ig-yac spins counterclockwise.

Beast Rodeo: Redshift is knocked off of Joe Bumbly the Igyak!

The ig-yac shakes like a wet dog drying itself off.

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper is knocked off of Quockswotch the Igyak!

Cliffjumper falls off almost instantly. "Aw. Thank you, Primus," he says, running for the stands before the igyak catches him.

The bucking ig-yac slips on some unidentified substance.

Beast Rodeo: Americon is knocked off of Cyclonus the Igyak!

As Cliffjumper tries to escape the Ic-Yak's rage, Raindance shoots his laser from the stands at the Minibot

Raindance strikes Cliffjumper with his Stun attack.

Cliffjumper is shot in the chest and falls over.

The igyak eats him.

After Redshift's performance on Pokey, he thought this would be a breeze. Guess he was wrong. He gets knocked off the beast after only a few brief minutes, seeming to be tied with both Cliffjumper and Americon! Only the Sweep remains.. Will he, too, get bucked right away for a 4-way tie?

Raindance bobs a bit. "Eh, he'll be out within 12 hours" he mutters

Americon whoops as his Igyak charges out of the pen... only to have it slip on something and throw him into the sidewall, legs sticking out.

Sunder strides up to Pokey, a beast that quickly threw someone. So it is not a docile beast. If Sunder can stay on /this/ beast, then his mastery over Igyaks will not be in question. He leaps onto the Igyak and begins riding.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder is placed on the back of Mr Pokey the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

Kicking up clods of dirt, the ig-yac leaps back and forth between front and back paws.

Beast Rodeo: Sunder is knocked off of Mr Pokey the Igyak!

"Burt!" Clint Eastwood calls. "Yew need to get that thar red robot out of Quockswotch! We need him for the tie-breaker for the bronze!" Burt looks at Quockswotch. "Oh he'll come out one way or another... haw haw haw!"

Sunder must have dug his claws in when jumping on the beast, because as soon as he's on, he's thrown. He should have mounted with more care, in hindsight. He spits a mouthfull of dust in disgust.

Cliffjumper explodes out of Quockswotch's stomach after spraying it with glass gas. The huge beast is led to the igyak hospital by the clowns, as Cliffjumper wipes stomach glop off himself. "Euch," he whines.

Redshift pushes himself up off the dirt. "Wait, what? I won? I mean... OF COURSE I won, I am REDSHIFT, master of making the beast with two backs!" He shouts to his adoring audience. Wow, anyone who was betting on Redshift is going to be rich... Especially Redshift! "Glory for the Decepticons!"

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "ANOTHER victory for the Decepticons!"

Americon grunts as he pulls himself out of the sidewall, with a chunk of wood still attached to himself. "Ow."

<Decepticon> Scrapper says, "A real victory or a Blueshift victory?"

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "A REAL one. A second GOLD MEDAL for the glory of the Decepticons(and me)"

<Decepticon> Redshift says, "blue's victory is fleeting, he still has the rest of the tournament to face. My wins are COMPLETE."

Clint tsks and can't help but smile as everyone gets trounced that round. He's /glad/ that four riders have learned just how badass those Ick-Yaks can be. "Right then. You, you, and you," he poins the stick at Sunder, Americon, and Cliffjumper, "are due for a third round. Hop to it, boyos. And Burt! Yew go with the clowns and clean up what happened to Quockswotch." Clint tries to hide a tear. Quockswotch was his favorite Ick-Yak.

Cliffjumper snorts at Redshift. "Awright, which one do I haveta do this with next..." He looks at Dave Gorman. "Aw, why not."

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper is placed on the back of Dave Gorman the Igyak! YEE HAW!!

Doing ferrets proud, the ig-yac bounces sideways, hard, several times in a row.

Beast Rodeo: Cliffjumper manages to stay in control of Dave Gorman the Igyak for another round!

"Aah," Cliffjumper says, damaged and covered in stomach acid from an igyak, clinging to Dave Gorman's saddle for dear, dear life. "Here we go agaaaaiiinnnn!"

'''Commercial break! Stay tuned for more exciting adventures of The Transformers!''' ''Really though, I don't have the rest of the log. Scrapper, care to finish it?''

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================== 2029 Olympics ================================

Message: 37/12                    Posted        Author

Results: Ick-Yak Bronco Bustin'   Sat Aug 09    Scrapper

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GLD: Redshift

SLV: Sunder

BRZ: Americon

4th: Cliffjumper

5th: Grimlock

6th: Long Haul

7th: Raindance

Ramjet

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