Markdown vs. Blueshift (Gladiatorial)

Statue Of The Hero

At the bottom of the ski slope looms a gigantic statue that would dwarf the Statue of Liberty. At first glance is it made out of the finest gold, but closer up, the construction more resembles paint and fiberglass. It depicts a huge, boxy robot on skis with a square head lifting a skipole in triumph, the other hand cradling a robot fox with a bow on one ear. The plaque at the base of the statue, which is also a seating area, reads: "2028 - The greatest skiier in the galaxy, the Autorobot Quockswotch, came from his home planet of Earth to crush all opponents in the Galactic skiing championships."

Blueshift is standing in front of the statue and as per the Nepsan tradition, salutes it. "Oh Quockswotch, mysterious hero of Nepsa!" he mutters. "One day I will meet you!"

"We can only hope," snorts Markdown as he stomps up behind Blueshift, glaring at the Decepticon. "But! Glad to see you're here. I've had a hankering to crush your skull--though I can't imagine that'll be too hard." Behind the capitalist is a camera crew and a reporter, who exclaims, "This fight was brought to you by A-Mart, your one-stop shop for ANYTHING you want! We're not kidding! Whatever you want, it's in our store!"

Bulbous and squat describes the referee. Full of pointy teeth, with huge glowing eyes and spindl little lrgs also suffices. The ref for this bout is one of the dastardly MECANNIBALS, spheroid, spider-like mechanical aliens. This particular one has a black and white striped shirt on, stretched to its' limit as it wrapes around the creature's round body. "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, robots and slimes! In this corner is the master of the bargain, MARKDOWN! His opponent, the blue-painted bufoon, BLUESHIFT! Beware, because he who loses the match whill be EATEN by yours truly!" He says cheerfully. Someone whispers from off-stage. "It's WHAT? Oh, um.. er. The loser shall be EATEN.. by SHAME!"

Markdown shrugs at the Meccanibal. "Yeah, thanks, buddy, that sounds really complicated. I might have to write that down." Yes, Markdown can be a bit of a jerk when he wants to be. "Well, without further ado..." Scowling at Blueshift, Markdown simply stomps up to him and backhands him.

Or tries to.

Blueshift evades your Backhand attack.

Blueshift scowls at the Meccannibal. "Uuugh, I thought you guys were banned from like, everywhere!" he mutters as he ducks away from Markdown. "WHAT?" he utters. "Was THAT?" He lunges forwards, swinging an open palm at the Autobot's face. "You guys fight worse than Sweeps OR Redshifts!"

Blueshift has partially disconnected.

The Mecannibal, whom we shall call BOB because his real name is too long and complex for human brains to comprehend, idly snacks on a bucket of fried Insecticon legs as he watches the match. "Ahh, they're trading girly slaps to the face! On some planets that would be considered a proper courtship. Maybe these two should stop fighting and start loving?" *munch munch munch*

A Chromite laughs reluctantly.

Markdown winces as his face is dented by the palm strike, and his head snaps back a bit from the impact. "Unf. And you hit about as hard as Bumblebee, minus his happy-go-lucky attitude--uh, well, scratch that, something's gotten into him lately, I don't know what, but I'm kind of worried. Anyway, wanna be a snowball?" Then, he tries to grab Blueshift under his arms and toss him up the slope, so that he can tumble all the way back down. As he makes the attempt, Markdown yells at the Meccannibal, "Oh, will you shut up?"

Blueshift has partially disconnected.

Blueshift evades your That's Snow Way to Fight attack.

Blueshift leaps into the air, his feet hitting the head of the statue as he bounces off the top, somersaulting in the air as he uses his boosters to slow his descent. Quickly he swings out his energy sword at the Autobot's head. "This will be quick and easy Autobot. Make it faster for yourself and just surrender now!"

Blueshift strikes you with Sword Buzz! for 11 points of damage.

Bob the Mecannibal laughs heartily at the poor fools. "Now now! Poor sportsmanship! Minus ten thousand points for back-talk to the referee! Tsk tsk!" He spits out bits of deliciously crunchy fried Kickback legs as he speaks. "Keep the trash talk confined to your opponent, or your opponent's mother!"

A trio of primary colored glowing brains in protective see through domes, the Gamesters of Triskelion, chatter among themselves, betting Quatloos on who will win and how.

Markdown shouts at the Meccanibal as Blueshift springs away, "Oh, dear, minus ten thousand points! Like it matters anyway! But ok, I'll take your advice." He stares up at the speedy Blueshift descending down upon with, sighing to himself. Realizing that his bulky body isn't fast enough to dodge in time, Markdown instead holds up both of his forearms to absorb the blow. "ARRRRRGH!" he yells as the blade bites deeply into his armor. Markdown then thrusts his arms forward to push Blueshift off of him, and mutters, "This isn't going so well--I need to take a risk or I'm finished!" Transforming into his Hummer mode, Markdown roars ahead and attempts to slam him into the base of the Nepsan statue of Quirwogcth or whatever the guy's name is.

Markdown falls forward onto his arms, his legs fold up into the back section, then his arms collapse into the front section of a powerful General Motors H12 Hummer!

You say, "You HAVE NO MOTHER, Blueshift!"

You strike Blueshift with ram.

Blueshift is taken aback by the horrid insult, as he is smashed by Markdown, flying through the air, his arms waving giddily as he ploughs into the snow. "What?" he shouts, having not bothered to read the rules beforehand. "We can RAM in this fight? Why didn't you say so before!" He shakes a hand at the Meccanibal, before running forwards, transforming to his spacecraft mode and rocketing straight for Markdown

Blueshift leaps into the air, flipping into the form of a small spacecraft

Blue Spaceship strikes you with ram for 23 points of damage.

Getting hit head-on by a space fighter is about as painful as it sounds. Markdown's front end crumples inwards and his windshield is utterly smashed in. The Hummer flips end over end through the air until it lands upside down in the snow, bearing buried deep within its white mass. There doesn't appear to be any movement from him for a while... then...

BOOMMFF! That is the sound of Markdown bursting free of the snow, holding what appears to be a giant snowball in his hands.

The capitalist then unleashes some witty unliners. "Hey, Blueshift! There's SNOW way you're going to take me down! Now it's time to put you on ICE." Then, he hurls the snowball, much like Prime threw that boulder at Megatron during Heavy Metal War.

A gaggle of Stormtroopers on leave try to pick up women playing the clone angle up.

Bob waves off Blueshift's protests with a flap of one skinny, clawed hand. "Running into things is perfectly legal, citing rule 23 b, article a, section iixiiv, line 3: 'Running into things is perfectly legal'. You Transformers, thingk 'cause you can transform means you're to ogood to read the rule book..."

Blueshift has reconnected.

The H12 Hummer suddenly splits open, pushing itself up as the front end turns into a pair of powerful arms and the back end forms a pair of legs. Markdown emerges, ready for business!

Blue Spaceship evades your Anti-Air Snowball attack.

Blueshift's spacecraft mode flies past the snowball quickly, doing several loop-the-loops in celebration of smashing into Markdown. At the apex of one loop, Blueshift transforms back into robot mode, and hurtles downwards, one foot extended to kick Markdown in the face. "C'mon Autobot, how quick can you die? Or how -slowly-"

Blueshift strikes you with Foot! for 8 points of damage.

Blueshift has reconnected.

Markdown sighs with disappointment as the snowball sails harmlessly by. Well, it kills a Sweepcub-looking alien under its massive, freezing weight, but who cares about that? Then, to make his day worse, his face takes the full brunt of Blueshift's kick, bending his nose to the side and sending him toppling backwards. "Urnghf," he grunts. "Well, lemme tell you, I don't die too quickly at all." From the ground, he snarls as he tries to bring up a leg to kick Blueshift in the jimmies. "So, slowly it is."

You have set the custom name for attack kick in mode 1 to "Low Blow."

You strike Blueshift with Low Blow.

"My jimmies!" cries Blueshift as Markdown kicks his jimmies off, as they fly into the air into a patch of snow. "Those were my favourite Jimmie, Autobot!" he snarls, bunching his fists together as he swings at Markdown's own jimmies. "I'll make you eat them!"

 Blueshift used punch. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.)

You evade Blueshift's Jimmies :( attack.

And every male gendered watcher cringes.

And every male gendered watcher sighs in relief.

Bob claps his hands at the show, and hungrily eyes the remains of the squashed Sweepcub. His globular eyes shift this way and that, to make sure nobody minds a missing Sweepcub. He darts over to it on his spindly spiderlegs, and snatches up the poor, broekn little Sweepcub... Aww, is he comforting the poor tings in it's last throes of death? Aww, he's giving it a kiss! No, wait.. He's stuffing the creature into his mouth WHOLE, hiding the evidence, and skittering away. "Mrrph mrr mrrph murph!"

Pizza The Hutt hides from the Mecannibals.

Markdown acks, scrambling away on his back away from Blueshift's vengeful fists. "Uh, no thanks, I prefer energon!" He tries to throw a bit of snow at Blueshift's optics to briefly blind him and give himself enough to stand up. He does so with great effort, groaning with the strain of it as his systems protest against the rough treatment. "You know, out of all the Decepticons, you're one of the ones I hate the most, you know that?" Markdown growls as he swings his palm at Blueshift's face.

Blueshift has partially disconnected.

You strike Blueshift with Smack My Shift Up.

Blueshift clutches his face and staggers back. And it was all going so well. "Nyaaargh!" he cries, vengeful optics burning. "That's odd, because out of all the Decepticons, I'm the one that I like best!" He grabs a rock, covers it in snow, and throws it at Markdown, like a mean playground bully.

You evade Blueshift's Snowball attack.

Blueshift has partially disconnected.

Blueshift has reconnected.

Markdown stomps relentlessly after the Decepticon as he staggers back, steam pouring out of his mouth and some of his joints. As the snowball is launched at him, Markdown simply catches it in mid-air, then holds it in his fist as he swings it at the Shift brother. "Fair enough, but you're not going to like the way you LOOK when I'm done with you!" he yells.

You have set the custom name for attack smash in mode 1 to "Rock You."

Blueshift evades your Rock You attack.

"I will always be the most handsome Decepticon ever!" cries Blueshift as he swings his energy sword at the snowball, vaporising it harmlessly. "And yet, you will always be the ugliest Autobot, because Autobots are all ugly!" He leaps forwards, arcing the blade downwards. "Now, I'll improve you by /cutting off your face/!"

 Blueshift used energy_sword. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.)

Blueshift strikes you with Sword Buzz! for 10 points of damage.

You are very conscious that your life is in serious danger in this battle.

Blueshift has partially disconnected.

The Bowie watches all this upon a monitor from an undisclosed location while 'Rebel Rebel' plays in the background.

"AGGGH!" Markdown yells as the blade slices through his face, just as Blueshift promised. His nose--which had been bent out of shape anyway--and a good part of his cheeks and mouth are also sliced off, revealing the underlying mechanical components. Clutching his face, Markdown staggers away, yelling in a somewhat garbled voice, "Argggh, you, sonova... ARRRGH! Dammit, you win... let's... shake on it." He holds out a hand, hoping Blueshift takes it. So he can crush it.

Blueshift evades your Shake and Break attack.

Blueshift stays away from Markdown's hand as he attempts to kill him. "What? Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm too busy /kicking your aft/" he snarls, as he leaps into the air, transforming into his spacecraft mode and flying straight at the downed Autobot again. "Here you go Mr Judge, dinner is SERVED!" Blueshift leaps into the air, flipping into the form of a small spacecraft

Blue Spaceship strikes you with ram for 19 points of damage.

You are very conscious that your life is in serious danger in this battle.

Bob looks on in amazement. "Is the do-gooer autobot giving up? Look! He's congratulating his opponent! What a loser! Ha!" He cries. "Oh, wait! It's a RUSE! Oh, jolly good, show 'em that even the good guys can still be manipulative little bastards! And there goes ANOTHER massive crash! I hope none of you bet on the gass-guzzling hummer!

The Red Gambler of Triskelion is kissing his betted Quatloos goodbye.

Markdown grunts out, "BRUUUNGFFFF!" as his midsection is crumpled inwards and he is launched backwards for a huge distance. His optics look about ready to pop out of his skull from that impact. Landing just in front of the Meccanibal, Markdown groans, "Dinner... is... NOT... served.... Urnnnghf... Urrrnnnghhh!" Every movement to stand back up causes him great pain, but he still tries, regardless, no matter how hopeless it is at this point. He then stalks up to the base of a tree, and summoning the last of his strength, rips it out of the ground and tries to hurl it at the Decepticon. "BLUUUUESHIIIIFT!" he roars as he hurls the wooden projectile.

You strike Blue Spaceship with Tree Points of Damage.

Blueshift has partially disconnected.

A Sharkticon with a camera films all the games events for his Quintesson master.

Blueshift has reconnected.

Announcement: Victory Leo shouts, "OH GOD BRITAIN EXPLODED"

Blueshift is blasted backwards by the tree, spinning in the air as it hits him. He transforms to robot mode, bunching his fists as he blasts forwards, attempting to give Markdown a righteous slap. "Pathetic!" he mutters. "Utterly pathetic. THAT is why I am the greatest Decepticon ever, and you are the DEADEST Autobot!"

The spaceship flips up into the handsome form of Blueshift

Blueshift strikes you with Face Grab for 6 points of damage.

Markdown falls to the ground unconscious

Rock Em Sock Em Robots episode 12 concludes.

Blueshift has reconnected.

Bob claps his hands, smilin broadly. "and once again evil triupmhs over good, because good is dumb!" He leaps around excitedly, eating an errant R2D2 as he does. "Contradulations, Blueshift! you are mightier than a boxy, over priced status symbol!"

Markdown's already damaged face explodes with sparks as Blueshift's superman punch crushes it inwards. With a groan of mechanical parts, Markdown slowly tips over until he flops lifelessly in the snow.

BLUESHIFT, WINS

FACEALITY