Amazon Ambush

Amazon River Basin

Though vastly depleted from what it once was, the tropical rain forests of South America still claim a vast and seemingly impenetrable stretch of land. Unfortunately, that stretch of land is shrinking quickly, and the jungle is being metamorphosed into one of concrete and steel. The rain now patters on oxygenating towers and chemical plants. Oil wells replace trees, chemists and workers replace tribes and animals. The remaining true forest is owned by various eco-groups and individuals interested in seeing it preserved.

F-15 Eagle  coasts along at a slow pace, just above the treetops, apparently taking the long way out of the Aerialbot base seeing as he can't fly through Mexico. Something flashes through the thick canopy, catching his attention. He dives and circles a bit for a closer look.

F16 is circling Mexico, having recently returned from the planet Charr and been assigned sky duty over Ayotzinco. To this end, he has, admitedly, flown a bit far beyond the designated perimeter, but it is just such a nice night and he is feeling rather chipper. He is humming to himself, onboard radio playing an old Cybertronian hymn, when he sees Air Raid flying low to the ground. "An Autobot," he says to himself, "sneaking around our border!" He banks and swoops in, intending to drop on Raid silently!

The F16 Fighting Falcon unfolds into Artifice!

Combat: Artifice strikes F-15 Eagle  with his Sneak Attack! (Smash) attack!

Mecha-Tiger  is prowling. He sees the Aerialbot and hides under brush, preparing for an ambush. He anticipates the Seeker above will be sending the Aerialbot spiralling to the ground very soon.

F-15 Eagle  is distracted enough to get his tail end smashed. He whirls around from the force and tries to even out. "What the-!?! Oho! A pigeon!" The jet sounds genuinely glad, and moves in for a counter attack... but veers off abruptly. He'd been told specifically by Roddy to be "less stupid". <> as much as it pained him to say it. "So what's your name!" Raid asks cheerily, trying to buy some time as he climbs a bit. "Seeker drone 4953?"

Combat: F-15 Eagle  takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Artifice recovers fairly clumsily from this impulsive attack. He rights himself and ascends, antigravs kicking out trails of white heat from his boots. He produces his lightning gun and grins. "You're in Decepticon airspace," he says, unsure if this is really true but not really caring whether it is or not, "and that's all you need to note, Autobum!" He raises his lighting rifle and tries to draw a bead on the Aerialbot!

Combat: Artifice analyzes Air Raid for weaknesses.

The Tiger is still crouched in the bushes. He's ready to pounce as soon as the Aerialbot is in range. For now, he shortranges to the Seeker. <>

"The air don't belong to nobody!" Raid is unfamiliar with double negatives, evidently. Unaware he's being... thoroughly checked out, he banks back around for a strafing run, guns blazing. "No name? Aww... have it your way, pigeon!" Rampage is pretty well hidden, so Raid naturally pays him no mind.

Combat: F-15 Eagle  strikes Artifice with his Laser attack!

Artifice is hit by Raid's laser fire and goes spinning toward the ground. He gets his bearings quickly, fixing the F-15 with a pathetic, hurt sneer. "Well, that's just what you think," he retorts, "but... who CARES what you think?!" He aims his lightning gun and pulls the trigger with extreme prejudice! <> Artifice radios, <>

Combat: Artifice strikes F-15 Eagle  with his Lightning Cannon attack! [Pulled -1]

Peterbilt 352 Car-Carrier  is driving aimlessly through the various random deserted and under kept roads near the tropical rain forest. Why you might ask? Well, it's a known fact that if you're not in Autobot City ... it's hard to get stuck with all the work. And not the fun kind of work, the boring file kind. Rocking out to some old school rock, the Autobot's second in command is zig-zagging down the road, car trailer swaying wildly from side to side. "Ahhhh, this is the life. No Primes asking for that blasted TPS report or the red swingline stapler of mine constantly going missing!" Ultra Magnus mumbles to himself inbetween commercial interruptions. Suddenly the radio station's volume lowers and the alert broadband declares loudly <> Oh crap, that sounded like a certain Aerialbot who has a penchant for getting himself outgunned and alone. Kicking it into fifth gear, Magnus responds on the shortwave frequency. <> Ripping and tearing through the jungle, eventually the Autobot Commander transforms and starts running at full speed through the brush.

As the Car Carrier speeds through the Jungle, Mecha-Tiger  POUNCES! Claws try to tear up armor. "BJ and the Bear you're not!" the Predacon snarls, "You don't even have a human-monkey passenger this time!"

Combat: Mecha-Tiger  strikes Ultra Magnus with his claw (Punch) attack!

Of all the mechs to answer the distress call! <<Hiiii sir... no tearing of new exhaust vents is necessary, got everything under contRAHHH!">> Raid promptly gets zapped by what appears to be lightning, the surge temporarily shorting out important systems. He glides aimlessly for a moment, wings clipping treetops as he unwillingly ends up descending.

Combat: F-15 Eagle <Air Raid> takes extra time to steady himself.

Ultra Magnus is suddenly pounced, just when he thought he was the one making the rescue attempt! The claws dig into his armor a tad bit, but more or less just leave faint scratch marks instead of any deep gouges. "I don't know BJ ... or his Bear." the Autobot replies, rearing back a punch. "But give them both my regards!!"

Combat: Ultra Magnus sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Ultra Magnus strikes Mecha-Tiger <Rampage> with his KAPOW! (Punch) attack!

Artifice is about to fall back to Rampage's position when he sees that the Mecha-Tiger is in battle with Ultra Magnus. "Slag..." He swears to himself as he looks toward Air Raid again. He supposes the Aerialbot can wait... That lightning blast should keep him down for a bit. Trying to stay out of the big Autobot's range, he scans Ultra Magnus to try and help out Rampage.

Combat: Artifice analyzes Ultra Magnus for weaknesses Rampage can exploit.

The Tiger is smacked, and rolls a short distance. "Owwww," he growls, "Oh I'll make you pay for that! Here, have some lead!" He opens up with his sidemounted machine guns. "I'm going to make your armor sacred. It's going to be very holey!"

Combat: Mecha-Tiger <Rampage> strikes Ultra Magnus with his Gun-Ports attack!

F-15 Eagle <Air Raid> spectactularly crashes into the river itself, with the grace of a cinderblock. "HuuAHH!" *SPLASH* *gargle* Thankfully it's not too deep, so he transforms and scrambles to right himself. "Hey! HEY! I'm over here! PIGEON!" Raid waves his arms about, demanding attention, and finally draws his rifle on the ignorant Seeker.

Air Raid folds and compacts, transforming into his robot mode.

Combat: Air Raid strikes Artifice with his Torque Rifle attack!

Ultra Magnus's attention is momentarily pulled to great a new face among the Decepticons. Then again, all these Seekers look alike ... only this one's colored like human baby poop. Looking back at the mention of lead and holey, he's peppered by all sorts of firepower. Stumbling backwards, Magnus holds his hands in front of his face to protect the ole noggin. After the ferrrrrrocious assault is over, he simply aims a wrist mounted blaster at the Predacon and fires. "That was a horrible pun."

Combat: Ultra Magnus strikes Mecha-Tiger <Rampage> with his Return Fire and

Artifice is too busy watching Rampage pepper Ultra Magnus with lead to give much of a damn about the fallen Air Raid. The heavy implications of this mistake become immediately evident when as a searing pain suddenly explodes across his back, radiating from his shoulder. Metal twists, creaking, screaming in complaint as the amazing force generated by Raid's gun mangle his shoulder armor. "Daagh... Jeez! In the back? Really?" He makes haste to the river to find Air Raid rising from the water. "Get back in that river!

Combat: Artifice strikes Air Raid with his Seeker Brand Arm Laser! (Laser) attack!

The Tiger is grazed with a few shots by Ultra Magnus. He grrrrrs and transforms, rising up into Robot mode. He gets out his thermal Sword and holds it high above his head. "BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!" he shouts, before attempting to lop off Ultra Magnus' head, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

Rampage's head slides down to his chest, his body rising upright. His robot head appears where his beast mode head had just been, and he now stands before you in robot mode.

Combat: Rampage strikes Ultra Magnus with his HASSAN CHOP! attack!

Air Raid isn't too graceful on land, and even worse in the water. He gets lasereddd in the chest, and stumbles backwards, causing another epic splash. The piranhas are pissed, actively nibbling at his feet. "DAMNIT! ...Hey!" Noticing the huge lily pads surrounding him, he pries one from its roots and /wings/ it up at Artifice.

Combat: Air Raid strikes Artifice with his GIANT LILY PAD (Smash) attack!

Ultra Magnus cringes as bad 80's morning cartoon references are brought up, so much in fact that he completely misses seeing the attack at all. "AGAH!" The sword digs vigorously into his shoulder armor's joint, temporary incapacitating all movement from the limb. With the other arm, Magnus attempts to grip at the sword and bash it's owner with it. "Air Raid, what in the slag hell were you doing out here ALONE?!"

Combat: Ultra Magnus strikes Rampage with his Sword BASH! (Kick) attack!

The lily pad hits with surprising force and wraps itself entirely around poor Artifice's frame! The Seeker flails to free himself, dropping quickly as all his attention is caught up in this struggle! By the time he finally thinks to blast through the sopping, green leaf with his lightning cannon, he is too late to stop himself from crashing into the sandy bank of the river. Whatever he has to say to Air Raid is lost, as Artifice's head is stuck in the sand!

Combat: Artifice takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

"I was just tryin' to get back from the Panama canal!" Raid whines, knowing he's going to get another tongue-lashing should they get out of this. "Sorry sir, it-" Just then, Artifice faceplants into the bank. Raid quickly sloshes over, bends with his hands on his knees, and laughs. "HAHAHAHA!" He vents in, pauses, and continues, "BAHAHAAHA! Too bad for you, pigeon!" He aims a kick at the Seeker's side.

Combat: Air Raid strikes Artifice with his Felled by aquatic plant life! (Kick) attack!

Rampage gets konked on the head by his own sword! "Bah, He-man never had problems like this," he growls, "Where's Skeletor's Havoc Staff when you need it? Nevermind!" He grabs a large stick and tries to whack Ultra Magnus with it.

Combat: Rampage strikes Ultra Magnus with his More than you can shake a stick at! (Punch) attack!

Artifice is finally dislodged, albeit in a rather undiginified manner courtest of Air Raid's boot. He topples, face covered in dark, wet sand, and pushes himself to his feet. He brushes sand of off himself and looks at Raid with his arms out. "Really? That... that's not classy... mech. If yer gonna fight, fight with - WHAT IN THE PIT IS THAT?!?!" He points over Air Raid's shoulder, suddenly terrified, his optics burning with fear. He then tries to give Raid a nice punch in the face.

Combat: Artifice strikes Air Raid with his Look Over There! (Punch) attack!

Ultra Magnus actually smirks as the stick shatters on his chest plate. The weapon instantly breaks and flies over his shoulder, not so much as a smudge left on his chassis. "Seriously? Who trains you people? A stick...seriously?" Moving his arms to his hips, he peeeeers down at Rampage. "Now why don't you scoot like a nice kittie, I feel bad beating you up. That goes for you too Seeker." Magnus motions with his hand to Rampage, "Shoo now."

Combat: Ultra Magnus takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Air Raid is totally dumb enough to look over his shoulder, "What!? Where!! ARGH!" So he gets decked in the mouth, Artifice's fist dislodging dental plates. Enraged at his own stupidity, he spits out some metal shards and tries to grapple Artifice's helm for a bit of a headbutt. "Yeah, shoo now!"

Combat: Air Raid strikes Artifice with his Smash attack!

Artifice is in too much pain to avoid a bit of a headbutt. The DORK rifle attack continues to twist the metal plates in his shoulder, now his back, now his arm. He staggers, wincing, and is easy prey as the Aerialbot's foread dents his olfactory sensor. "Gahhh! You fight dirrttyy!!" He lifts off, backing away from Air Raid, and trying to find Rampage. His optics are screwy right now, tho. "Tiger!" He says. "I'm going back to get a huge ... giant gun to shoot and kill these jerks! You can come, too, if you want!" He barely manages to transform.

Combat: F16 begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

Air Raid sloshes after Artifice until the Seeker gets airborn, "Dirty? Little ole' me? Shucks. Bye bye pigeon! Leave the flyin' to the Aerialbots!" Hmm. "Ultra Magnus sir, need any help!"

Combat: Air Raid takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

The Predacon's mauling is more or less random gouging at best, claws scraping needlessly against armor at worst. Ultra Magnus shoot's his arms around Rampage, grabbing the kitten by the scruff of the neck and holding him out, squirming no less. "I'm afraid that was /not/ a suggestion." Rearing back a foot, the City Commander drops the Decepticon and boots forward as hard as he can, off in the general direction Artifice was flying. A cupped hand is held above the brow, as Magnus tries to ascertain where the kitten will land. "Nah, I think I'm good Raid."

Combat: Ultra Magnus strikes Mecha-Tiger <Rampage> with his DAS BOOT! (Grab)

T he Tiger gets booted! He sails through the air like Team Rocket, blasting off again! "AT LEAST I WON'T MISS STAAAAAAAR TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEK," he shouts as he goes.

Combat: Mecha-Tiger <Rampage> begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from F16

Ultra Magnus smiles as Rampage sails through the air and out of view, however his moment of enjoyment is sullied by Air Raid's constant chattering. I swear to Primus, he is the only mech addicted to the sound of his own vocal processor. Turning around, Magnus crosses both arms and looks down upon the Aerialbot, fury pretty much burning in his optics. "Yes. That is likely something we will have to look at. However, it does not explain why you were sallying around like a one mech army. Face it Raid, you're not a Wrecker or a Dinobot. And I explicitly remember a conversation about this broad subject, correct?"

"Hnn... y'think if I were a Wrecker I could sally about more? Maybe Impactor would let me join, yeah?" Raid doesn't meet Magnus' gaze, however, idly rubbing at a laser wound. "...Can head back now, sir?"

"Oh of course, and please think about this excursion when you're mopping up the Repair Bay for the next week Raid." Magnus bellows lightly, trying not to lose composure during his semi-serious speech.

"WHAT!?" Raid huffs and puffs and stalks in place, squashing a floundering piranha. "That's not fair! I kicked that Seeker's aft, didn't I? All I was-!!" Raid cuts himself off and glowers at the muddy bank, and eventually grates out a "yes, sir" dripping with sarcasm.

"You finished? Good. You know, those floors don't scrub themselves." Ultra Magnus states blankly, stalking off back toward the access road.