Santa Defensor



Cavernous Entrance

Harsh, bright lights, the type seen either on movie sets or prisons, illumine every corner of this area. If any entrants have something to hide, they will have to do better than hiding it behind their backs. The area is plated over with solid, shiny, cheerful orange metal and is large enough to allow even Omega Supreme entrance to the bridge to the northwest. To the southeast, the vast expanse of the desert around the volcano rolls on as far as the optic can see.

The roof has been heavily reinforced to keep this exit open in case of volcanic eruption, that the Autobots might flee to safely. Despite sound dampeners in the walls, the volcano's occasional rumble is still audible, a dull roar. There are deep grooves in the floor and walls where the blast doors, thick and weighty enough to withstand almost anything. The doors can close more quickly than one might expect; quite quickly enough to keep out pesky wildlife.

Especially birds.

Contents:

Barkida

Defensor

Reidan Wesley

Keeper

Autobot Hovercraft 

Autobot Sensor #3597

Obvious exits:

Southeast  leads to Cascades.

West  leads to Communications Room .

Northwest  leads to Bridge .

This room is a shuttle room. You can type '+destinations' to take an auxillary shuttle from here.

Repugnus has arrived.

Sit-Com has arrived.

Grapple has arrived.

Powerglide has arrived.

Torque exits from the Ark's bridge and the doors close.

Torque has arrived.

Jayson Redfield has arrived.

Timewarp! This occurs before the past. Er... the scene in the past. You know what I mean.

The Autobots have put a lot of effort into redecorating the Ark. A string of red and green lights are lining the ship's hull, fake snow has been placed strategically on the ground, a huge tree that nearly reaches the cavernous roof has been placed in the centre, with multi-coloured presents at the bottom, tinsel on its branches, and glowing Autobot, EDC, and Junkion insignia ornaments hanging off of it. The best part? Christmas music is playing in the background. Everything from the Trans Siberian Orchestra to Weird Al to the classics like Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby.

Actually, that was a lie. The BEST part is the open bar policy for both organics and Transformrs. Egg-nog, hard liquor, beer (for those not in the festive season), Lightspeed Lager (Swindlebrau's chief competitor), and more are all available. There's helpful signs, though, that tell you to please drink responsibly--especially if you're going to be driving and/or transforming into a car later.

In the middle of the Cavern is a huge line-up of human children and new, ex-Crystal City civilians. What are they lining up for? Why, the big man himself, who's seated up on his throne. Defensor has a big Santa hat on his head, Santa coat wrapped around him, and Santa bag at his feet for holding all the presents for the good little heroes of the universe.

Victory Leo has arrived.

For a day and a night, Reidan had been preparing for this feast. Though he claimed to not celebrate Christmas at all, this was one of those moments where he was in one of his elements. He seemed a dervish whirlwind of action, and perhaps some who had been here all that time would be concerned that he had not even taken a break, much less eaten.

in a cordoned off (and guarded, at his insistence) part of the hall, where tables were set up, a long buffet was being prepared by his assistants, and the cook himself, in his white poufy hat and coat, was moving constantly like a hummingbird on royal icing. Checking this, sniffing that... the smells of roast beef, turkey, potatoes, vegetables, stews, corn bread and many other things filling the hall with the desserts ' table smelling of fine spices, cinnamon, pumpkin, chocolate, and there was a large, flat pan, covered with a silver lid, that smelled strongly of rum.

All in all, it was no doubt to be a fine feast.

Repugnus twists and flips around into his horrific creature mode!

Loadout has arrived.

Jayson Redfield is still underage, so no alcohol for him. Dammit.

Well, maybe.

Either way, here he is, accompanied by a brunet about his own age--his boyfriend, probably. "You haven't met many Autobots, right, Caz?" Jayson asks him conversationally.

"Nope," Caz answers. He glances around. "Hey, check out the spread."

"That's Mr. Wesley's work," Jayson says, grinning. "Let's go say hi."

Bug Creature  has hung up a bit of mistletoe by the cavernous entrance, and is busying himself by harassing any femmes that try to enter. "Hey. Mistle toe," he says, indicating the mistle toe with a gesture of his talons. "You gotta kiss me, baby! Come on, plant one right on my lips." He puckers his hideous bug mouth at them, and thus far every femme has made a disgusted look at him and told him what he can do with himself. "Thanks for the suggestion, I might do that later," is his typical response after leering at them.

Barkida, looking fully healed (thanks to First Aid's xenobiology expertise) and resplendently togate, shows up with the world's largest and densest fruitcake. A heavy-planet fruitcake. The table creaks under it as she carefully sets it down as if it was a dark-matter ingot. "I bring the treasures of my people," she declares. "As much as I could produce on this world. The 'tree sloths' of this land are tiny and wholly inappropriate for feasting."

Barkida eyes Repugnus warily whether or not he hideously propositions her. They seem to have some small history. Maybe it's just that they know eachother better than some.

 Sit-Com says, "I come bearing gifts! Ho-ho-ho!"

Bug Creature  is about to proposition her, but he makes a frowny face when he remembers that she's a dirty rotten slaver, and resumes harassing femmes.

As food arrives to be added to the feast, Reidan makes his way over, darting like an angry bumblebee that way, a rather dissapprovig frown on his face at first. Then he pauses, staring at Barkida. Then he replies "Fruitcake IS something that was not invented by the people of earth. Put it on the desert table please." his eyes catch Jayson and Caz, waving to them as well as they arrive. "And yes. the giant sloths of this world are long extinct sadly. Put it by the rum cake." He has two assistants move up to help. His hands trembled a little bit, his face somewhat pale.

Grapple may seem a touch out of place with all the festivities and overall party atmosphere. It may be because he seems to be actively avoiding everything and everyone around. It may be because he's off in his own little corner, against a wall and all by himself. Or, quite possibly, it may be the small smile that seems to indicate he's somehow enjoying himself. When was the last time anyone's seen Grapple at a party, anyway?

Keeper finishes safety inspecting each and every bit of holiday decoration that adorns the Ark base making sure regulations have been met and he finally returns to the main festivities area now that it has gotten underway... the two bell-grenades that hang over his shoulders have been painted red and green. He looks around at the growing crowd and wrinkles his optic ridges slightly. So many people. He's not used to the cave being so 'active'.

And who should walk in, but jolly old Saint Nick? It's a bulky, blocky Santa Claus. It's a Sit-Claus, in fact! He wears a white fake Santa beard, a Santa hat that fits just right, a Santa jacket with belt, and there's a HUGE sack of presents slung over one shoulder. "Ho-ho-ho, Merry Christmas!" he shouts.

People might wonder how it is that Sit-Claus can hold such an enormous sack.

Jayson Redfield leads Caz over to Reidan, then peers at the man in concern. "You okay, Mr. Wesley? You look pale."

Barkida hefts the fruitcake onto her shoulder and carries it over to gently place it by the rum cake.

ENTER POWERGLIDE. He's managed to get himself over to the Ark in one piece despite the pre-game drinks he's already had (sssh, don't tell) He's looking pretty festive what with the novelty reindeer horns duct-taped to either side of his pointy head and the strand of multi-coloured lights wrapped around his body.

"Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!" Powerglide sings, a case of Swindlebrau (LET'S GET DRUNK) tucked under one of his arms. He stumbles his way over to Repugnus, "Hey ugly! You get any pity-smooches yet?"

The softer puddings and some of the beverages lean slightly towards the super-massive fruitcake in their containers as if they were being tipped, due to its gravitational field.

"Man, do I love Christmas. You humans throw some sweet parties on the holidays, but now it's our turn!" Torque chuckles heartily as she shows up to the party, grinning bright and towing a large platform stocked with wrapped present, both human and Cybertronian sized. "I come bearing gifts!"

Too stay in the spirit of things she even has a new paintjob for the evening. Cheery red paint covers her chestplate, pelvic plating, and leg plating, the bits between painted white. She even seems to have white fur trimmed around the red here and there. Extra adornments are a antlers installed where her antenna usually are, a long string of bells around her waist, and her cable hair recolored to be more festive.

"I'm fine. I'm justa little tired. I cannot stop yet though. i am carving the roast beast." dismisses Reidan with a wave of his trembling hand. One ofthe assistants, overhearing this as they prepared the heated plates, shook his head with a roll of his eyes.

Hot Spot says, "+gpose :may be great in size (don't ask how they even aquired a Santa hat and coat that would fit his massive squarish form) but it is offset by being prehaps the most gentle and cautious of the gestalts as well. A great dark blue hand is held down to each visitor to step upon the palm up, lifting them up to his knee so pictures can be taken (get a wide lense) as he asks them what they wish for christmas. Once it's all said and done a deep (he can't really help it, his voice is just that big due to his size) "Merry Christmas!" is given, and a present is produced from the great red sack.

Said present being what appears to be a Defensor action figure. It doesn't come apart into the Protectobots but does have spring loaded joints (think non-crappy Actionmaster) and accessories like guns, a Santa costume, and thanks to First Aid a pamphlet on Christmas saftey tips included inside of course!

And by the smile on the giant's face as child by child goes through the process, he's rather enjoying this. It's nice to see the humans he strives to protect not fleeing in terror because his appearance is usually in middle of a pitched, terrorfying battle."

And that is when Powerglide learns of the dangers of provoking Repugnus. "What... you offering, Powerglide?" He licks his horrible lips, getting them slick with green slime. "Come on, baby, you know want it..." He begins to trudge menacingly towards the minibot, arms extended, lips puckered. He glances to the side as Torque walks past his checkpoint. "D'oh... look what you did! She would have taken me up on it! Now I have to kiss YOU as compensation, Powerglide!"

Defensor may be great in size (don't ask how they even aquired a Santa hat and coat that would fit his massive squarish form) but it is offset by being prehaps the most gentle and cautious of the gestalts as well. A great dark blue hand is held down to each visitor to step upon the palm up, lifting them up to his knee so pictures can be taken (get a wide lense) as he asks them what they wish for christmas. Once it's all said and done a deep (he can't really help it, his voice is just that big due to his size) "Merry Christmas!" is given, and a present is produced from the great red sack.

Said present being what appears to be a Defensor action figure. It doesn't come apart into the Protectobots but does have spring loaded joints (think non-crappy Actionmaster) and accessories like guns, a Santa costume, and thanks to First Aid a pamphlet on Christmas saftey tips included inside of course!

And by the smile on the giant's face as child by child goes through the process, he's rather enjoying this. It's nice to see the humans he strives to protect not fleeing in terror because his appearance is usually in middle of a pitched, terrorfying battle.

Barkida looks relieved that Repugnus spurned her, watching Powerglide get menaced with horrible smoochy robot lips. If there's one thing worse than being a Monsterbot's enemy, it's being its friend!

Grapple looks around from his own little spot against the wall with quiet curiosity. This may actually be the first party Grapple's attended in quite some time. Or perhaps the first time his little land of blueprints and designs in quite some time. Either way, the moment he spots Torque, he performs a double take and stares for a couple of seconds as if he was mildly horrified.

"Roast beast?" Jayson raises an eyebrow at Reidan. "You've been watching too many Dr. Suess specials." But he chuckles a bit, then looks around to see who else is here. He stares at Defensor, wondering just how he got a Santa hat in that size.

Keeper stops the first recipient of a defensor toy and takes it for examination. He turns it over in his hands and inspects it carefully. He then returns the toy to the nervous human with a nod. Keeper approved!

Barkida considers Defensor for a while, watching the procession, and decides to get in line. Wishes granted and gifts dispersed! That seems good.

"What, you dont remember the leftover Wildebeest? " asks Reidan, then winks with a smile "Although you haven't told me who your companion is either, Jayson." he remarks at that, glancing over to ensure nobody was trying to sneak sugar cookies, waving to Barkida again.

Jayson Redfield smiles a little. "This is my boyfriend, Caz," he tells Reidan. "I forgot that you two haven't met."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Wesley," Caz chirps.

Remedy has arrived.

Loadout has been here, puttering around in the background. He doesn't really understand human holidays all that much, but far be it for him to rain in on everyone's fun if they're looking to blow off a little steam and loosen up. Especially when there's no huge flareups in the war at the moment to concern them.

Besides, the cavern needed to be spruced up a bit before all the decorations were put up. One can never really 'clean' stone in a cave completely, but one can certainly make it much more presentable! And that's just what he busied himself doing.

And is still busying himself doing in fact, off in one far corner as he finishes washing down the last areas of bare rock with a high pressure hose, letting the water trickle into an improvised drain he's rigged up below to prevent any sort of excess flooding. One has to wonder how he really enjoys this sort of work, but he seems happy nonetheless.

As the party-goers arrive, Autobots and EDCers start passing out free festive items, ranging from Santa hats, Elf Ears (swiped from a Vulcan costume set), reindeer antler headbands, and some stocking stuffers in the form of $5.00 gift cards for Best Buy. One such EDC soldier glances up at Barkida in line for Santa. "Hmm. I'll see if we have something in extra-large," he murmurs as he roots around in his swag bag.

Meanwhile, a minibot gives Grapple some reindeer ears (and also a hug for being the very best Grapple he can be). The minibot then glances over towards Torque. "Yeow," he says. "Looks like she really got into the spirit of things, huh?" he tells Grapple.

Up next at Santa Defensor is a little kid of about 5 years old. He stares at Defensor with big, slightly horried eyes. While his mom fumbles with the camera, a helper gets the kid up on Defensor's lap. The kid keeps staring. But hey, kids are always terrified of Santa, right? That's normal, yes? Finally, the kid says, "A-are you the /real/ Santa?" Hoo-boy.

Sit-Com finds a place to stow his sack of goodies. He nods at Keeper. "Inspection welcomed," he says, "Don't want to give out a teddy bear just to find out it's got a random wire in it." He has a seat, observing the crowd and taking in the sights and smells.

The sack, once it's put down, clearly reads "KNUJ Toys For Bots Campaign"

Powerglide stumbles backwards, almost tripping over his own feet when Repugnus starts descending on him like some kind of predatory- ahh you get it. "Back off, bug-face! Just because I've kissed things uglier than you doesn't mean I want to, okay!?" He spots Torque at the same time as aforementioned bug-face and just stares. She's got horns too! Maybe she'll be more receptive to his cries for help. "TORQUE, HELP! Repugnus is trying to force himself on me!" he hollers.

Grapple blinks dumbly as he's handed the reindeer ears, giving the plush costume accessory a look that clearly stated that he had no idea what he was looking at or what to do with it. The flabbergasted expression persists as he's randomly hugged, and then just stares for a moment at the question. Somehow, all he could think to say was.. "I.. suppose so?" Well, it's a shade better then asking if the minibot was drunk.

Remedy comes in, looking left and right... "Uhm, hi...?" She looks at all the festive people and bots, an optic ridge raising in confusion. THIS is beyond anything happening she's seen on Cybertron

"Wait til he's over-energized!" Sit-Claus shouts to Repugnus.

Keeper pauses his toy safety inspections and turns to glare daggers at Powerglide and Repugnus.

 Remedy says, "Would someone care to explain to me what this is?"

 Defensor says, "Hello, Remedy. We're having a Christmas party."

 Keeper says, "A disaster waiting to happen... in other words, a party."

 Defensor says, "You are welcome to join in. Grab some energon, perhaps?"

 Sit-Com says, "Looks like our Toys for Bots campaign is about to pay off."

 The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Monstereo can be heard steepling his fingers. "Excellent."

Reidan Wesley grins at Caz and guestures to him "I cannot shake your hands. Sanitatoin efforts you see. We should begin serving the food shortly though." he sighs, blinking sleepily a few times.

Torque parks the large amount of gifts off to the side, each one addressed specifically to Bot or human at the party, who would likely find /just/ what they wanted in their designated box. The femme hefts up some of the larger boxes designated for the cybertronians, grinning bright as she goes around shoving them in Bots' hands. Keeper, Grapple, Loadout, Remedy, Sit-Com, and all the others. She'd get to the humans in a moment.

Torque pauses when Powerglide calls out for help, rolling her optics. "Alright alright, hold on." She moves over, shoving a present in Repugnus' face to slow him down. "Open your gift and stop tryin' to mack on Powerglide. You don't know where he's been." She smirks, then hands Powerglide his own present.

<Autobot> Jayson Redfield says, "Haven't been on Earth long, Remedy? Join us and have some fun!"

Caz waves a hand dismissively. "No worries."

"You need any help?" Jayson asks Reidan.

Keeper is distractd when Torque hands him a present. His gold optics glitter with a 'for me?' look and then he carefully starts to unwrap it, not tearing the paper...

Remedy is standing near the entry to the room, looking at the craziness. As Torque thrusts a box into her hands, she is certain the bots in this room are suffering from an infestation of Evil Mind Impulses. "Uhm, thanks?"

Grapple goes from flabbergasted to outright shocked that Torque has given him a gift. He holds the reindeer ears in one hand and the present in the other for a long few seconds. It takes what is probably far too long to make a decision; he sticks the antlers on the random minibot's head and, after giving Torque another stare, opens the gift. "...Oh!" He holds up.. Blueprint paper! A stack of it! Grapple looks delighted!

The minibot hanging out by Grapple takes a few moments to eye Torque (who wouldn't?) but then stops once Torque arrives. "Ma'am." he says respectfully to the femme. Once she's gone, though, he glances back at the engineer. "Oh, they go on your head. Kind of like how Eject. has it." Cut to Eject + reindeer ears, surrounded by the local junior football club, explaining why the 49ers are finally going to make it big this year. Back to Grapple. "Personally I think they look pretty cool," the minibot adds.

"Awww, you shouldn't have," Sit-Claus says, taking his gift and saving it to open later. He doesn't want to mix it up with the gifts he brought in his sack!

Oh, the dreaded question of mall and street corner Santas everywhere! Defensor takes it gracefully though, emitting a soft -- for a gestalt at least -- mimic of Santa's chuckle as he leans a bit closer to the child. "Oh ho ho ho, no dear boy. I would never fit down a chimney!" Such an odd means of entrance as it is, but that's not the point here. He shifts his head a bit, making the holiday hat flop freely. "The real Santa is busy preparing for his great trip to bring joy to all the good children of the world. I am an official stand-in for public appearances, rest assured. So buck up and enjoy the great festivity these fine Autobots have put forth for you all, ho ho ho!"

.. Yeah, you can tell Hot Spot is a part of this fellow, with chatter like that. But it seems to do the trick, preventing any other potential child spawned difficulties for the time being.

Loadout still has the hose in one hand when he has a gift thrust towards him as well, "Eh? What is this?" He starts, but it only takes a bit of cross-checking to realize this is supposed to be the tradition for these holidays. Ah yes, the humans and this thing with presents.

Eyeing the box curiously, he finally opens it up after a few moments and peers at the contents.

And then he retrieves the carefully folded cloth that was inside. "Hmmm..." Carefully, he opens it up, and gives it an experimental swipe over his forearm. If he was clean before, it leaves a positive GLEAM where it passes. It's a new experimental cleaning cloth from the intergalactic trade network. It's said it can put a shine even on a polished diamond. It's sort of like a shamwow, on steroids! "...oh, OH I can find PLENTY of uses for this!" And the cloth is VERY quickly stashed away in his chestplate.

Bug Creature <Repugnus> is about to close in on the hapless minibot, licking his lips. "Mmm... you SURE you've kissed worse things than me?..." But he catches Keeper's glare, and scowls. "Ohhhh. What kind of Monsterbot are you, anyway? I bet you're not even *registered.*" And Torque also intervenes, and Repugnus is forced to transform to take his present. "Welll, okay, fine." Taking the present in hand, he quickly rips away the wrapping, and reveals...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6_1OvvOvYg&feature=related

The creature spins and twists about into Repugnus's robot mode!

<KNUJ> Sit-Com says, "Public Domain holiday carols, Fa-la-la-la-la, lah lah lah lah. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL1YJRmEQ4U"

"No no, I'm fine! The entire EDC crew is here and i've been drilling them better than Sargent Slaughter would have. " reassures Reidan. then whirls about "TOUCH THAT TURKEY and I cut your hand off!" towards a younger EDC member who was peeking into the heaters, and quickly booking it away. Ahh. Christmas sprit

Grapple sets the stack of blueprint papers back in the box, looking far too happy then a stack of papers should probably make him. He gives the minibot a small, amused smirk, wondering if the reindeer ears set on top of his head are even noticed. "I don't understand their purpose. They're decorative, I imagine, but the ears and antlers of an animal?" Perhaps he doesn't know about the whole 'Rudolph' thing.

<KNUJ> Sit-Com says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbW64J_RJZg"

Remedy uhms softly, "Would SOMEONE care to explain what the frag this is?" She holds up the box she got from Torque. "I... I need help... please?"

Torque smiles as everyone starts opening their presents, glad they're liking the gifts. Remedy's distress catches her attention though and she smirks, "It's a present, Rem. Open it. Pretty much a tradition on Christmas."

<KNUJ> Sit-Com says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdrtbpdO5_k"

The kid, still wide-eyed and a lil frightened, nods at Santa Defensor's explanation. "Oh... I guess that makes sense," he says without asking how even the real Santa could hope to fit down a chimney. The man ain't exactly thin. His mom snaps a few pictures of a grinning Defensor and terrified child before one of Santa Defensor's helpers sets him down and gives him a present. The kid murmurs a timid 'thank you' before toddling off to rejoin his family.

Defensor takes the brief moment in between kids to survey the party. It's good, he decides, to get to spend some time with friends without having to constantly step on disobedient Decepticons. With one of his huge hands, he reaches over and adjusts the music, turning on KNUJ. Deck The Halls begins to play. To Remedy, he explains, "We're celebrating Christmas. Come on, Remedy. Enjoy yourself. This is a time for rest and relaxation." The kids come and go, until finally we have a very special guest. "Barkida," Defensor greets with a smile. "It's good to finally get to meet you. Welcome to Earth. Now then, what can Santa Defensor get for you this Christmas?"

Jayson Redfield winces a little as Reidan turns on the other EDCer. "Well, uh, Caz and I are gonna go socialize for a bit. Spread looks great, by the way." Overhearing Remedy, he flashes a grin in her direction. "What Torque said. It's a gift!"

<KNUJ> Sit-Com says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIY6ZIfEsRo"

Barkida settles on Defensor's mighty knee and adjusts her toga, thinking hard about this question. What would she most like which an enormous battle-robot might provide? Indeed, what is best in life? "I would like to crush my enemies, to see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women," Barkida says decisively after a little while.

Keeper finally finishes the careful unwrapping job, leaving the paper in perfect condition and re-rolled back up no less, and he opens the box. His optic ridges raise and he pulls out a red sugar sprinkled Cybertronain Tunnel Spider. He holds it up by the leg examining it and murmurs to himself, "I only ate a few that one time..." Still, someone somewhere who was in that little mission remembered and helped Torque figure out what to get him as a gift. So...

Keeper transforms into Temple Dog form and lays down, starting to gnaw off a leg from the offline arachnid.

Keeper, the hardened security mech, transforms down to a four legged monstrosity. Are we sure this is an Autobot?

Reidan Wesley nods distractedly to Jayson "Of course so. And please bend San... err, Santabots' ear for me? I need to find Quivut in two ply gold to fix my persian rug."

Remedy narrows her optics, "A gift... I..." She looks at those present, noticing none getting their heads blown off, so she tenatively opens the package, looking inside, finding... oddness. She pulls out a plush stego, transformer sized

Sit-Com finally gets a chance to open his present, away from the presents he's brought. He opens it and inside is a little stuffed fish. Well, little to him; it would be enormous for a Human. He strokes it and puts it up his sleeve, letting it peek out. "Thanks, Torque! A lucky fish! Now I can go on Jeopardy!"

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVtMs0rh8XY"

The minibot near Grapple hmmms and says, "Ok, personally I think your reindeer antlers look... really... really good on you," he lies. He punctuates this lie with a thumbs up, thus ensuring it's completely and utterly sincere. Meanwhile, Little Drummer Boy with Jack Black and Jason Segal starts playing. It's unusual, but that's what we all get for tuning into a Junkion radio station.

Jayson Redfield nods at Reidan. "Sure thing. C'mon, Cazzy." He bounds off to see Defensor Claus, Caz in tow.

Powerglide looks shocked at Torque's comment. "Are you implying that I'm /dirty/?" he shouts, swaying back and forth on his feet. Despite her offensive remark, he's glad Torque stepped in and saved him from what would have surely been a traumatic experience. He takes his present in both hands (putting down his case of brew to do so) and shakes it, "Oh wow! What is it!?" He doesn't wait for an answer (that would be stupid) and immediately tears through the paper to reveal..

....a pair of those anime triangle shades you see all the bad-ass character's wear. ".....................I love it." Powerglide croaks, putting them on. They're magnetic so they just stick to his face. SWAG.

The minibot near Grapple looks upwards, trying to look at his own antlers. This doesn't work, but he raises his hands and pats them. "So... do I look good?" he asks nervously. The mech is starting to realize that it's way more fun to make other people wear dumb looking Christmas swag than it is to wear it yourself.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6xNuUEnh2g"

Grapple gives the minibot a long, hard stare. "..Yes?" Was that a question? "I don't believe I know your name." Which probably should have been asked before the hug, earlier, but, hey, it was a party!

Torque meanwhile has wandered back to the gift cart, hefting up some larger presents that she shoves close to where Defensor is seated. She looks up at the 'santa' with a grin, "Hey Defensor, when you decide to split up I've got a gift for each of you." She also sets down a large present near where Barkida has to exit the line. "And this is for you, Barkida. Don't know you very well, but I'm sure you'll like it." She even passes the minibot near Grapple a gift, which she didn't grab the first time.

Torque just loves giving out gifts. And now it's the humans' turn! With much smaller gifts in one arm she goes around handing presents to any humans she knows, especially the EDC people.

Temple Dog <Keeper>'s red and green bell-grenades jingle merrily as the sounds of metal tearing come from his feasting. Truely this is Christmas.

A nearby onlooker draws his attention and he stops mid-chew. "You... want some?" He tears off the last leg with his jaws and offers it... only to be declined. A bit of red sugar accumulates as it flakes off the carcass.

<KNUJ> Sit-Com says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMtuVP8Mj4o&feature=related"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I8lv9NYoj0&feature=related

Repugnus holds the present dramatically above his head, grinning... then he brings it back down to look at it. "Wait a minute... this is... some sort of cleaning set!" He stares at the plastic-wrapped gift with a dubious look. "Ugh... look at this, there's like, buffers and polishing wax... detergents... Cybertronian mouthwash!? Are you trying to kill me, Torque!?" he demands. Then, his expression softens. "Buuuut, okay, it is Christmas and all, so... I'll take it. But I can't guarantee I'll ever use it, hahaha!" He puts the gift in a little cloth bag labeled LOOT. Then, he announces, "Okay, turns out, I got some gifts, too..." He disappears into a backroom for a moment, then reemerges with handful of crudely wrapped and vaguely round objects, just big enough to be an average Cybertronian's head. "Just some, ah, relics of my misadventures," he says, chuckling as he begins passing them out. He even gives one to Barkida, though it's accompanied with a "Meh." Jayson also gets a little present from him. It's kind of heavy. "Enjoy!"

Remedy uhms, "What do I do with this?" holding up the plush stego. "I am gonna need some major information on this mad holiday." She goes over and finds a seat, hugging the plush to her tightly, wondering what the flaming sheepiness is going on

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osY6OYq1EFQ"

That 'wish' even gets Defensor to blink a couple of times. Though it is the sort of response one would expect from the race of 'space amazons' as they are sometimes referred to. Um, okay. "And I am certain when the oppritunity arises you will be able to bring your people great joy and peace in doing so. It is sad when we must fight, but the fight for peace and safety of all the people of the universe is one worth partaking." That's about as close as ringing a christmasy reply out of that.

Oh right, the giveaway gifts. Fortunately they came prepared for 'older' visitors too, as reach into the bag produces a replica of Defensor's fireball gun -- though this version is only a paintball rifle with 'fire' colored ammo. "Merry Christmas Barkida... Err.." The giant then rubs the back of his head with one hand after handing the 'gun' to her. "Not a combat worthy weapon, but.. for training practice in dodging, prehaps? Humans use them to play 'tag' of a sorts as sport."

He then turns and nods to Torque, smiling. "Thank you Torque. I am certain my components shall enjoy your generous holiday spirit once they are finished with my presence. Merry Christmas to you too!"

Jayson Redfield gets a gift from Torque, and then one from Repugnus. Torque's was actually to be expected; Repugnus, not so much. "Merci!" he chirps to the two of them, instinctively slipping into French. That said, proceeds to open them, starting with the one from Torque. And he stares in awe. "A working Super Nintendo? How'd you know I like the classics, Torque? Thanks so much!" And then he starts on Repugnus's gift. And he's more than a little creeped out at the fact that the gift is the head of a Decepticon cassette. "Thank you...Repugnus. It's very nice."

"Ranged combat is my weakness, this is a wise gift. I will train hard with it. Thank you, Defender," Barkida replies solemnly and climbs down to thump her breastbone in a salute. "May you be covered in glory on the field of honour also."

Torque snickers when Repugnus opens his gift, though she erks at the badly wrapped thing he hands to her. "Uhh... Thanks, Repugnus. I'll.. open this later." She quickly shoves it into subspace.

"Alright, I think that's just about everyone. Gotta make sure to give gifts to anyone who didn't make it though." She looks pleased with her duty finished, soon snatching up a strong holiday enerhol from a table. "And now to get the real party started!" She grins, tipping her head back as she chugs.

Barkida finds Torque left her a present too! She rips it open with her teeth. It's... a pair of huge birkenstocks? Someone must've noticed that she likes sandals. Her whole species likes sandals, so it's a safe bet. She takes off the ones she's wearing (which are made of brass and some kind of animal hide) right away and puts on the new ones. "Such luxurious comfort! I will wear them for special occasions."

Temple Dog <Keeper> chomps down the remaining body of the Cybertronian Tunnel Spider and wipes a bit of fluid from his lower jaw with the side of a claw. He notices the sugar mess on the floor before him. He looks left, right, finds Loadout among the crowd and decides to take care of the mess himself. He blows out a stream of fire from his mouth, burning the sugar first to melted drops, then to char. He stops the brief bbq and licks up the base mineral elements. Happy Holidays!

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu_JV0vdHQY"

Hardhead has arrived.

Defensor nods at his latest visitor, "You're very welcome, Barkida. Be well, and good luck yourself." He doesn't exactly endorse the warrior's lifestyle, but he recognizes that Barkida was paying him a compliment with her words. The First Noel by Leigh Nash begins playing on the radio, and Defensor finds 2/5ths of himself humming along to the music. He looks a bit spaced out for a moment until his helper elbows him in the Groove leg. The next helper up is Jayson Redfield from the EDC, and Defensor breaks into a smile as he's helped up onto his lap.

"Jayson!" Defensor booms. "It's great to see you here." 5/5 Protectobots weren't confident of Jayson surviving in the EDC for this long. "Are you having a good time? Is that this Caz I keep hearing about?" Defensor glances over Jayson (easily done) towards the other man, giving him a stern nod. The Protectobot Combiner's gaze is one of a dad making sure his daughter's boyfriend is up to par and won't take advantage of daddy's little girl. Primus help Caz if he and Defensor are ever alone together.

For those just joining us, the cavern in front of the Ark has been decked out in decorations. There's lights lining the hull, fake snow everywhere, a big tree in the center with Transformers ornaments, and a big chair for Defensor to greet his line-up of visitors.

The second he puts on his brand spankin' new sunglasses, Powerglide feels cooler and, like he always does when he's feeling especially awesome, manages to become even more of an obnoxious jerk. "Get the hint, Repugnus! I know your whole gimmick is being gross but there's a line and you crossed it years ago." He starts to laugh but when the Monsterbot hands him his 'gift' he becomes quiet and uneasy. "...Thanks, buddy. I'm just going to put that riiiiiight over here." Powerglide walks over to the nearest trash can and unceremoniously dumps the present into it. Now that that nonsense is over with..

"LET'S GET DRUNK!" Powerglide shouts, popping open two bottles of Swindlebrau with his thumbs and chugging them both like he was a frat boy on game night.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS5_VwxnxFU"

Barkida stares at Powerglide in befuddlement. "How does he do that?"

Remedy is so lost, hugging the plushie, watching the stuff going on, understanding so little, though, she never had real celebrations...

The minibot near Grapple says, "Firefly. Good to meet you." Now armed with a name, Firefly has a way better chance of surviving this scene. Yes, redshirts can die even in Christmas party scenes. "I'd, uh, I'd keep the antlers on of course but they're msesing up my communications antennae." he takes the handband off in time before Torque arrives. Firefly beams at the femme. "Thank you, ma'am!" he starts shaking the gift to try and see what's inside.

Sit-Com sidles up to Remedy. "First Christmas, eh? It's a fun and happy time of year. Oh, what's that you've got there? Can I stroke it?" He eyes the plush stego.

Repugnus just grins at Powerglide. "Awwww... you just don't know how to appreciate a good *kill* like I do." He steps over to the wastebasket and plucks the head out. "I'll be taking that back, then. I've been needing some replacement puppets anyway. Heheheh!"

The minibot then finally goes and opens it up. He gasps happily. "A nameplate with my name on it!" Firefly attaches the magnetic nameplate to his chest proudly.

Hardhead peers around the party as he attempts to sneak around the gathered bots as he surveys the scene. He appears to be holding a large bulky bag.

From quite a bit a ways across the room, Grapple gives Powerglide a long, unamused stare. He then looks to the small stack of bottles right next to the flying minibot with a soft sigh. Oh, but then the minibot at his side finally answers. "it's very nice to meet you, Firefly." Ever polite, the builder-bot is. Then, he chuckles at the nameplate. "It seems that she knows just what everyone would like." He sounds impressed by that.

Remedy looks up at Sit-Com, "Yes... I... well... sure, I guess you can pet it." She shifts the plush just enough for the stego's head to be accessible. "His name... I don't know..."

Reidan Wesley checks his cooking once more, and then steps to one side, dabbing at his pallid face with a hankercheif. He didnt look well at all and sighed shakily, before straightening his back. It was almost time to open the line, a few people already lined up for the food he had worked so hard to prepare. The chef moves to a hidden chair now behind a curtain to flop down with a sigh.

Caz is clearly intimidated by Defensor's glare. He knows that look. He holds up his hands in an "I'm not going to do anything to him" kind of gesture.

Jayson rubs the back of his neck, also noticing the glare, but choosing not to comment on it. "Yeah, that's Caz." He's also pretty sure the Protectobots weren't expecting him to survive this long. But hey, he's the kind of soldier who cheats death on a daily basis. "Okay... This is kind of pointless to say, but what I really want is peace in the universe. But since that's probably impossible, I'll just settle for some new books. I hear the Fever series by Karen Marie Moning is pretty good.

He pauses for a second. "Oh, and Mr. Wesley--" He motions in Reidan's direction. "--wants some Qiviut yarn in two-ply gold."

"Oh, thanks!" Sit-Com says, lowering his hand to stroke the soft head of the stego plush. "Hello, question-mark!" he says to the stuffed toy.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOegH4uYe-c *disclaimer - KNUJ does not in any way endorse illegal drug use or open chested sparkle covered shirts*"

Powerglide drinks beer the same way Hook blows a trumpet. "Excuse me for not being a psychopath," he says, punctuating each word with a juicy belch. He then moseys on over to Torque and raises up his (fresh) bottle for a toast. "Torque! Thank you for these awesome sunglasses. I bet Raid will cry from how awesome I look when he sees them." Why does he care what Air Raid thinks? What a weird guy.

Keeper, the brutally fierce looking horned lion-dog, transforms back into his two-legged less terrifying robot mode.

Keeper recomposes himself with as much dignity is possible after scarfing down a bug on the floor and patrols the party at a leisurely stroll now that he's satiated.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESqJay4tT2k"

Torque had snuck off into the back with a big box for a bit, returning with a tray. It isn't that hard to hear her approaching thankfully with the bell belt as she comes up behind Grapple, grinning bright. "Hey hey, you need to get more into the spirit of things. The reason for the season, or something like that." She shrugs, but holds up the tray she'd snagged from the table, chock full of large, steaming mugs filled with some cybertronian holiday brew.

"Drink up you two!" She grins, offering some to Firefly as well. "Made this today. Kinda like the egg-nog the humans drink, or as close I can get. Alcoholic on the left, non-alcoholic on the right. and careful, it's strong."

Ad then Powerglide sidles up, the femme smirking, "I dunno, Powerglide. His gift might be pretty cool too."

Remedy thinks about it for a bit, "I think I'll call him... Sluggie. I just don't understand this... This holiday... why the gift giving... How... I mean, there's Defensor..."

Hardhead stares down at his bag of items. He then glances at the other Autobots as he rubs jaw as he stares at the Autobots clearly having a good time.

"Powered Glide, you shame me with the lustiness of your imbibing!" Barkida exclaims, inspired. "Slave-boy, bring me hard drink that I may carouse with the Auto Bots!"

"I'm... I'm technically not a slave, I'm... I'm part time, they pay me minimum wage," protests the caterer.

"Minimum wage man, bring me hard drink!" Barkida corrects herself. "It is time to make merry and to feast to victory and health!" An Autobot stein is presented full of hot egg nog. "Ahh, spiced liquored bird milk," says Barkida, smelling the spicy fragrance. "The festive drink of queens! I toast to your future, Part-Slave! May you purchase land and be promoted to a full citizen in due time!" She tips the caterer an orichalcum coin the size of a personal pizza to help him along.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1sf5yqZX-k"

Torque perks up when she spots Hardhead through the crowd (C'mon, he's not that hard to see) and smiles, balancing the tray on one hand a moment as she waves, "Hey, Hardhead! Glad you could make the party!" She then points to the stack of gifts she has yet to distribute, "There should be a gift marked for you over there." She beams happily.

"I really doubt that," Powerglide says flatly to Torque before finishing his drink and grabbing another one from the seemingly endless supply. To Barkida just shrugs and grins under his faceplate. "Uh, thanks. I guess? You uh..inspire me with the bustiness of your uh..woman-ness..." He was always great with words.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMAmHrlP1lY"

Defensor just doesn't want anything to happen to Jayson. He looks down at the EDCer, nodding. He 'hmmms' as Jayson reveals what his request is. He's had this kind of question before, and has had a lot of time to think of it. "Books I can do, but don't count out your first request." Defensor leans down, getting closer to the young man. "I can promise you that we *will* have peace in the universe. It may not be today, Jayson. It may not be for a while. But I promise you that I, and the rest of the Autobots, will *not* give up until the Decepticons are no longer a threat."

Defensor's voice is getting louder without him even realizing it. "But more than that, Jayson. I know that humanity is made of sterner stuff than the Decepticons will ever know. I have seen you at war, and I have seen you at peace. Santa Defensor has seen the strength in your species. As my chief elf helper Computron might say, 'There is a 100% chance that this planet will not succumb to the Decepticons'. It is through this strength, and the strength of *all* of our allies that in the end, we *shall* prevail in the end. I promise you this, Jayson."

Pause. "Also, I'm sure we have books for you in Santa Defensor's bag." He reaches down and pulls out a Kindle that has the Pern saga pre-loaded on it. "And we can find the Qiviut yarn as well."

Repugnus watches Torque emerge with a bunch of mugs filled with eggnog, considers, then grabs one that's alcoholic and just chugs it straight down. "Mmmm..." pulling the mug, leaving his lips frothy with the stuff. "I love eggnog. It's so thick, it's like it was secreted from some kind of a *creature.*" He grins. "And I don't mean a cow. Oh no." He reels a bit as the alcohol catches up to his head. "Woahhh..." he says, blinking.

Jayson Redfield smiles up at Defensor. "Thanks, man. I feel better now." He perks at the sight of the Kindle. "I need to get with the times. I never did get one of those." He smiles again. "And about the yarn...I'm sure Mr. Wesley will be happy."

Hardhead tilts his head towards Torque and gives her a brief nod and what may pass for a smile, at least for the gruff Autobot. "Thank you." He manages to say as he lugs over his sack towards Torque's stack of presents. He surveys the stack of gifts as he picks up the one marked, Hardhead. He sets down his sack as he opens the package. His optic bar flashes as he stares at the small picture. It appears to be a small painting of Cybertron and Nebulos orbiting a star. He stares at the picture for a long time before saying, "I love it..."

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysIzPF3BfpQ"

Grapple is still against the wall, still with that random little minibot that decided to pay him a visit. Doesn't look like he's about to join the main party any time soon. He hugs the box of blueprint paper as if it were something precious.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2oPio60mK4"

"This planet's low gravity is an aid in that regard," Barkida replies. "On Planet Femax I would be obliged to wear a support garment." She raises her stein to Powerglide. "To low gravity worlds, which make heroes of mortals and demigods of heroes!" Chugging ensues.

The minibot near Grapple, aka Firefly (his nameplate says so), now has a mug of Cybertronian holiday brew in his hands thanks to Torque. It's the alcholic one on the left. The non-alcoholic one goes untouched by the minibot. I mean honestly. "Come on, Grapple. Lets go sit on Defensor's lap and tell him what we want for Christmas."

With Jayson's wishes taken care of, Defensor turns his attention back to Chaz. But this time the scrutinizing in his gaze is gone, so the young man must of measured up to whatever standards his components had been contemplating. Or prehaps he's just happy that Jayson has someone nice to enjoy the company of. A bit of both, prehaps. Getting to watch friends enjoy themselves instead of fighting made the titan happier than anyone likely realized. "And what can Santa Defensor do for you this holiday season?"

Grapple gives the minibot an amused stare. "You ARE over-charged, then? I was wondering." He happily takes the non-alcoholic brew and quietly sips it. "You can if you want. I.." A pause. "..I rather not sit in someone's lap."

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ycfuj5y7qds"

Torque shakes her head at Repugnus' comment to the nog, moving off once Firefly and Grapple have drinks. Almost like a caterer she goes about the room, offering any Cybertronians the drink she'd made. It was hot and smooth and would warm you up in a pinch, and you can even get drunk off it if you wanted!

"Just one of those things that makes Earth great, what can I say?" Powerglide says with a shrug. He takes a swig of his drink. And then another. Then another. "Hey, you look..you look really strong. You ever wrestle a bear?" He puts a hand out to steady himself as the room appears to be spinning. "I wrestled a koala bear once."

"Kicked it's ASS!" he suddenly adds.

"I just want Jayson to be happy," Caz says quietly. He blushes a little. "But, err...you probably can't do that, so, um...I'd actually like the latest Legend of Zelda game. It's kind of hard to find right now."

Meanwhile, Jayson glances around to see if there's anyone new. Has he met Hardhead yet?

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw6h4mZO1oU"

Out of the corner of his optic, Defensor notices Powerglide drunk off his ass. He also eyes the label on that beer. Swindlebrau, eh? Defensor's optics narrow.

Defensor, "s lack of deathglare towards Caz doesn't mean the young man is off the hook in case things go bad between him and Jayson. Just FYI. Still, Defensor is as cordial as always. As O Tannenbaum plays on the radio, he chuckles in his deep, booming voice. "I'll leave the job of keeping Jayson happy to you, Caz. As for the Zelda game, I may have an inside source in the form of Chromedome. I'll ask him to look into it for you. But until then, here is a gift card for Best Buy so that when the game comes in, you'll be all set."

Out of the corner of his optic, Defensor notices Powerglide drunk off his ass. He also eyes the label on that beer. Swindlebrau, eh? Defensor's optics narrow."

Noah Wolfe has arrived.

Defensor's lack of deathglare towards Caz doesn't mean the young man is off the hook in case things go bad between him and Jayson. Just FYI. Still, Defensor is as cordial as always. As O Tannenbaum plays on the radio, he chuckles in his deep, booming voice. "I'll leave the job of keeping Jayson happy to you, Caz. As for the Zelda game, I may have an inside source in the form of Chromedome. I'll ask him to look into it for you. But until then, here is a gift card for Best Buy so that when the game comes in, you'll be all set."

Out of the corner of his optic, Defensor notices Powerglide drunk off his ass. He also eyes the label on that beer. Swindlebrau, eh? Defensor's optics narrow.

Caz brightens. "Thank you!" he chirps. "You're awesome!"

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT2GLdWrqLM"

Remedy nuzzles the plush steggie she got, looking at the beings present. Maybe she should wander off.

Repugnus snags another alcoholic eggnog, despite the horrible implications he made of its production. He chugs it down really quickly, and stumbles again, falling over onto his butt. "Oof..." He gives his head a shake, then says aloud, "Hey... Powerglide. Good job on the Koala. They're about as tall as you so I imagine it was a fair fight." He cackles.

"You, Repugnus.. Shut up!" Powerglide exclaims, tilting his bottle back for another sip but alas, it is empty. He stumbles his way over to the bar for a new drink, passing Torque in the process. Now what kind of drunk buffoon would he be if he didn't do something totally inappropriate? "I loooooveee your antlers. You look hot," the minibots slurrs, slapping an open palm on the femme's backside.

Grapple all out facepalms at Powerglide's antics. He looks at Torque with pity.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEbNKCeMgDs"

Sit-Com sips cautiously at the ener-nog, peering at the drunken antics with quiet disdain. He pats his sack of gifts, getting ready for the time where he'll call everybody up to come get their gift.

"More than that, I wrestled a MAN," Barkida replies proudly, her stein having been refilled by more caterers eager for tips, although she doesn't seem to notice them. "A great hoary male, a lord among brutes and mighty in his territory. He and his kin had slain half a scouting party that found his tribe lurking in the high hills and barren places, and I swore an oath to bring him back for the fertility rites. Due to my oath I could not slay him with my star metal, and with his great arms, thick and gnarled as trees, he overturned my horse and smote it with a boulder! Throwing off the poor animal, I seized him by the hair of his chest and pulled him to the ground, where I bested him with skill and strength and bound him for the First One's royal court! It was a fine triumph when we brought him and half his tribe down the grand avenue of the Golden Realm. The people threw flower petals on the street before us while the male beasts roared and bellowed in their shackled rage. Ahh. More nog!" She drinks. "That was a good horse."

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__kQ1PCP6B0"

Torque nearly jumps in surprise at the slap, straightening up instantly while optics widen and antlers (connected to her antenna motors) perk in surprise. It takes her a moment but she actually gains a look of calm, smiling plitely to the Bot she was currently giving a drink to. "Would you mind holding this a second?" She hands the mech the tray to hold and turns to tap Powerglide on the shoulder.

When he turns to face her he's met with a powered right hook to the face, which is likely strong enough to send him clear over the bartop and onto the other side. She then turns back as if nothing happened and takes the tray once more, grinning at the random mech. "Thanks."

"And a Merry Christmas to you both," Defensor replies as he scoops Jayson and Chaz in his large hands and sets them back gentle on the ground. Sparing a glance to the Autobots about as he does so, narrowed gaze shifting from Powerglide's bottle to the minibot showboater himself as he swats Torque. Several of his components make note in the gestalt's unified mind that it's a good thing they're at the Ark and he doesn't have to fly anywhere tonight. Followed by a passing one from First Aid hoping there's no ener-vomit in the medbay in the morning. Again.

A short sigh escapes the giant as he returns to his seated position and goes through a few more assorted kids -- and a few grown up ones -- from the line. But who's going to end up on his knee after that?

When the music playing switches gears slightly and "I Want A Hippopautamus for Christmas' comes on, all Defensor can really do is facepalm briefly and wonder which Junkion included that in the playlist.

Reidan Wesley finally reappears, still looking pale but also a little bit more satisfied. The line finally opens up for the food, and there was even smaller dishes for children as well as Reidan took up his place to carve the 'roast beast', humming a little bit. He glances to Defensor on occasion, then giggles at the music.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN7LW0Y00kE"

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEvGKUXW0iI"

Repugnus's fists seem to clench as he watches Powerglide do HIS job, which is to make Torque feel as uncomfortable as possible. "Never rub another man's rhubarb," he quotes, slowly rising... but it seems Torque has the minibot well in hand, and he chuckles. "Heh." Then he overhears Barkida's boasts, and scoffs at her. "You wrestled some stupid hairy beast. You ever tangle with a Meccanibal? I have. Many times. They got this big gaping maw, and anything metallic they eat, they reprocess into its component parts. They especially love eating my kind. But I taught them to be afraid of me... on their own homeworld. Oh yeah. Left behind a lot of dead Meccies back there." He giggles a little, then his gaze drifts back to the line of people waiting to get in Santa's lap.

"Hm," Repugnus says, and transforms. The line, clearly repulsed by the horrible monster, eagerly lets him steal a place in line near the front.

Repugnus twists and flips around into his horrific creature mode!

Noah Wolfe has disconnected.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "Drink up! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdjFeiiJaPI"

Defensor takes a few moments to enjoy Bing Crosby's Mele Kalikimaka. It's a classic, and been a favorite of 1/5th of Defensor for some time. Maybe 2/5ths depending on how much ener-weed Groove has had lately. Up next in line is Repugnus, who drives himself to the front. Defensor doesn't comment on it, but he does frown slightly. While other Autobots may be horrified to have to let Repugnus sit on their lap, Defensor manages to pull it off. This is where that high courage stat comes into play. "Hello, Repugnus," Defensor says kindly. "And what can Santa Defensor get you for Christmas this year? Peace in the universe, I assume?" he jokes.

Powerglide feels a tap on his shoulder and, having already forgotten that he'd just sexually harassed someone's girlfriend, turns around without hesitation to be greeted by a punch so hard that not only does it leave a fist sized dent in his face but it also sends him flying through the air and into a pile of presents which are instantly flattened under his weight. "Ugggh... it was a compliment.."

At least it wasnt' the food. Otherwise that punch would be the LEAST of powerglides' problems...

Keeper appears above the downed Powerglide... an eclipse darkening the red flyer's world... and picks him up by the cone. His deep and calm french accented voice asks, "Powerglide. How is it that I knew it would be you to be the first problem?"

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQQruRTuq9I"

Bug Creature <Repugnus> grins hideously up at Defensor as he sits on his knee, waving his little arms about as he explains. "Well... maybe a *step* towards peace in the universe. See, I've been handing out a lot of *gifts* this Christmas, and well, it's kind of depleted my stock." Of what, he doesn't say. "So, I was just wondering... next time you meet Bruticus, could you... oh gosh..." He feigns bashfulness as he stares at the floor. "...could you rip his head off? And, once all the Combaticons demerge, cyould you like, grab them and pluck their heads off, too, one-by-one? I mean, big strong guy like you. Oughta be easy." Repugnus demonstrates by holding out an open fist, plucking the imaginary head of a being trapped by that fist, then plucking it off. "*shriiiikkkk!* Just like that! Oh, and of course, I'll want the heads when you're done."

"The Meccannibals..." Barkida has to think back. "I've heard of them, spoken of in whispers and rumor. A terror of the machine races and said to be traders in exotic devices to others. Hmm." Maybe she has to revise her opinion of Repugnus! But first she has to point and laugh at Powerglide's unexpected tumble. "You're lucky your coal bear didn't catch you from behind like that, Power Glider!"

"Watch the antlers!" Powerglide yelps as Keeper lifts him up like the short little robot he is. "I'm sorry, okay!? But you can't really put all the blame on me. Blame it on the alcohol. BLAME IT IN THE AL AL AL AL AL ALCOHOL!" Powerglide sings.

Barkida pages: Aw, thanks! It's fun to get to take her out of the box. Until now she only showed up when folks were on alien planets.

Torque smirks at Powerglide sprawled out in the presents, giving a victory sip to the spiked ener-nog she'd been handing out. Ah, good stuff. She places the tray down though after going around, letting anyone who wants more come get it themselves. The femme herself swipes up two alcoholic mugs, draining one rather quickly.

"Oof.. I should give Encore this recipe. Wonder if he could make it stronger." She grins as she immediatly gets a heavy buzz, now happily sipping on the second mug as she wanders into the line for Santa's lap, being curtious to the humans in front of her, unlike Repugnus.

Grapple sips from his non-alcoholic drink a bit more before wandering away from his safe little wall spot. He heads over to Torque, although he stays a decent distance away. Just out of arm's reach, actually. "Thank you for the gift. And the beverage." Sip. He looks a bit embarrassed, aww.

Firefly is still hanging around, drinking his energon and otherwise ignoring his duties as a helper. He seems content to watch the others from the sidelines since Grapple won't come with him to sit on Defensor's lap. Maybe he'll go by himself later.

Keeper tilts his head scrutinizing the minibot in his clutches. "The alcohol is it? Then we shall defeat it together so you can remain at this joyous festivity and behave yourself with more dignity, yes?" He carries Powerglide out to the Ark cave entrance and around the corner. He sets Powerglide down and directs, "Activate substance intake purge." Oh snap.

Reidan Wesley says, "Jayson!"

Jayson Redfield scurries over to Reidan. "You rang?" he quips lightly.

Reidan Wesley nods at Jayson, holding up a slightly-bloodied knife "Yes! you and your companion get in line before the best cuts are gone of the meat!"

Jayson Redfield eyes the knife. "Logically," he says, "that shouldn't have blood on it." He seems kind of creeped out.

"Uh, right here?" Powerglide asks Keeper, looking a little embarassed. "I mean, you're cool and everythin' but I don't think we know eachother well enough for that.."

Reidan Wesley responds "Its the rare part of the inside. Its harmless." he explains, guesturing to the pinky meat on the inside, and then the pooled juices. "if you want a better cooked peice I can oblige.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up1t5siifEw"

While he was expecting something in line with the sort of answer he got, Defensor still has a brief moment of regret over being so congenial when Repugnus jumped into the line. Save the one part that's quite amused by the Monsterbot's request

While he was expecting something in line with the sort of answer he got, Defensor still has a brief moment of regret over being so congenial when Repugnus jumped into the line. Save the one part that's quite amused by the Monsterbot's request, until the Blades segment is swiftly vetoed down by the other four.

Pause. Brief ponderance if his components will take up drinking after having to deal with this, and puts his best smile back on. "I will see what I can do... Though Bruticus and his components do have extremely hard heads. Blades once tricked Brawl into knocking over a building by missing a headbutt... Fortunately it was a Decepticon power collector station." With a grunt he reachs into the big sack of presents. Um, lets see here. "In the meantime..." Oh, here we go. He digs out a big plastic tub of toy slime. "Use this to gross out some Decepticons? Tell them its a rare metal eating slime or something." He's stretching for something here, but what the hell -do- you give a Monsterbot.

Thankfully Keeper is dealing with Powerglide, which the big guy greatly appreciates not having to try and handle both at the same time...

Remedy looks up as Sit-Com wanders off. She just needs someone to try and explain what this holiday is. She gets up slowly, hugging the stego-plushie to her, and starts making her way toward the door

Keeper folds his arms across his lion-face chest. "Purge... and remember to lift your face guard so you don't get the troublesome contents back in your own face." Sounds like he has seen many a Transformer puke.

Bug Creature <Repugnus> transforms before taking the toy slime. He eyes it skeptically... then smiles. "You know what, Deffy? I think that might work. Thanks! Man, who says Protectobots aren't cool?" He hops down from the lap, and chucks the slime into his loot bag.

The creature spins and twists about into Repugnus's robot mode!

Torque pauses mid-sip when Grapple wanders over to thank her. The femme smiles bright and lowers the large mug while looking over to him. "Aw, it's no trouble at all, Grapple. Christmas is my favorite time of year, if yah haven't noticed." She chuckles softly before briefly stepping out of line to reach out and snag Grapple by a bit of armor, yanking him forward so she can smooch him on the cheek. She's drunk, she doesn't care.

"Just hope you enjoy the rest of the party." She beams, stepping back in line and moving up as she gets closer to the front.

Sit-Com follows Remedy. "Where ya going? You haven't got your present from me yet!" Yes, Sit-Com is just about ready to distribute his gifts!

Hardhead continues to stare at the picture before slipping into a compartment in his chest. He looks at the other Autobots and lets out a chuckle. He reaches down and opens the sack he carried in. He pulls out one small gift which he holds and pushes over the sack as hundreds of cigar shaped packages spill out. "I brought ener-cigars for everyone." He walks over towards Sit-Com and Remedy.

"Awwww come onnnnnnn," Powerglide whines, putting a hand out to brace himself against the side of the Ark. "I promise...I promise I'll be goood! I'll even go in there and say I'm sorry for high-fiving your butt, Torque."

Remedy stops as Sit-com addresses her, "I... I'm just not sure..." Turning, she hugs the plushie, watching Hardhead approach, an optic ridge raising in confusion

Grapple freezes up very much like a deer in headlights would as Torque moves in for the kiss. Thankfully, it's only on the cheek; anywhere else, and the architect may very well have passed out. Clearly, he isn't used this sort of thing. Regardless, he just sort of stands there, and, after? ... Sips more non-alcoholic nog very, very slowly.

"Try it, you'll like it," Sit-Com says.

Keeper nods, "Yes, you will. After you eject this demon alcohol. They're no longer your plus one to this party. Now." The guard is all business.

Barkida busies herself with the feasting part of the holiday while the robots are doing robot things.

Hardhead gives Remedy a brief nod as he looks at the plush dinosaur. "Sandcastle." He then holds out a small crystal shaped package to Sit-Com. "Junkion, this is for you."

Barkida has disconnected.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J82k5fYJp_o"

"Nah," Jayson says, "that's okay. Thanks, though."

Reidan Wesley glares at Jayson.

Defensor blinks at Repugnus as the Monsterbot hops off. "Ah... no-one says the Protectobots aren't cool," he says, though there's a bit of doubt in his voice. Safety awareness and obeying all the rules is cool, right? Surely it must be. Another part of Defensor's mind worries what Repugnus is going to do with the toy slime. Yes, even toy slime could be put to horrible use by him. Defensor smiles at Grapple and Torque as they get a little smooch, even if the former is probably wasted and the latter is embarassed. That's the way romance goes. "Who's next to tell Santa Defensor what they would like for Christmas?" he asks. Hopefully nobody will ask for assurances that there won't be any time travel plots in the near future.

Firefly meanwhile cheers and claps for Torque and Grapple, OTP. He heads over to Hardhead, seeking a free ener-cigar.

Reidan Wesley says, "Eat, man!"

Jayson Redfield winces at Reidan's glare. "Yes, sir," he mutters...though he actually outranks Reidan.

Remedy looks at the stego plushie, thinking a few moments, "You know, I think that works nicer. Sandcastle." She murrs, hugging the plushie tight

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYSLk0XWsC4"

Powerglide throws his arms up in the air all melodramtically. "FINE," he sighs loudly, taking off his mouth guard to commence the expulsion. "Can you at least rub my back while I do this?" he says to Keeper from over his shoulder.

Reidan Wesley nods at that as he cuts a few more peices, ensuring JAyson and Caz got what they wanted. Then he stares at Powerglide, and shook his head in disgust "People are EATING." he mutters, glancing over again thoughtfully to Defensor.

Sit-Com finds himself innundated with gifts! He opens the one from Hardhead and finds a cybertronian data crystal with all the episodes of the Simpsons on it. "Thanks a bunch," he says to Hardhead, then he gets one from Remedy. He opens it carefully and peers at it. It's a plush Defensor! "I will love it and pet it and hug it and squeeze it and call it George," he says. Then he goes to a central point in the room, where there is a large chair suitable for non-Defensor Santas to sit in. "Gather round, all," he says, "When I read your name, come get your gift. I spread holiday joy, courtesy of KNUJ's Toys for Tots and Bots program."

Believe it or not, Keeper actually does rub Powerglide's back. He's not heartless afterall.

Hardhead gives Sit-Com a brief nod. "To make up for the other day...Junk..errr...Sit-Com. Now I know what your name means." He turns to the mini-bot as he slides out a wrapped Ener-Cigar from a compartment on his chest. He hands it to the Mini-bot. "Enjoy." He then motions to the sack on the floor. "There are more over there."

"Mmm, that feels nice," Powerglide says as he tries to visualize the most disgusting thing imaginable to help him through this. Once he's got it (the mental image of Blot as an erotic dancer) he starts to spew like crazy.

"OH PRIMUS!" he sobs between heaves. "It's EVERYWHERE!"

Reidan Wesley vanishes out of reality.

Reidan Wesley has left.

Torque is thankful that it's finally her turn to meet Santa, having had finished off the rest of her drink while waiting. With a grin she drops into Defensor's lap, trying to grab any stray drops in the mug before setting it aside and looking up. "Hey there, Santa. Lookin' good!" She snickers softly.

"But anyway. Hmm.. what do I want for Christmas?" Torque's gaze turns sidelong as she thinks, perking up at an idea and grinning, Defensor soon finding her standing on his lap to help get optic-level. "My wish is for you to hurry up with this thing and open your presents! And to have plenty of the drink I made specially for this party." She gives a sage nod. "I even brought a Defensor sized mug. C'moooon." She chuckles, leaning in to smooch him as well. His mouth is way too big though, so she settles for a cheek, giving an exaggerated 'Mmmmwah~!'.

Sit-Com gets his list, and checks it twice. "Torque," he says, "Come on down!" He pulls a present out of his sack and holds it out to the fembot.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcuvlIgSj0Y"

Grapple 's mug certainly has no alcohol in it. He still remembers the LAST time he had too much to drink. Or some of it, anyway. Still, he takes a particularly exaggerated swing of his beverage before slowly moving back to his safe little spot by the wall. Maybe he's still shocked by the otherwise innocent drunken smooch.

Firefly takes a cigar from Hardhead. "Awesome," he says. The minibot presses his pointer finger against the end of it, and a flicker of flame suddenly appears, much like a lighter. Sticking the ener-cig in his mouth, he takes a few ener-puffs. Oh sh-, a name AND a special power? This dude's going far. "Thanks, these are sweet! Did you import them from Monacus or somewhere else?"

Keeper sets himself at full arms length while back rubbing and patting... not believing how long this is taking. "That's it... get it all out."

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Pu-bVrndgY"

Repugnus meanwhile slowly wanders off with his slime, opening the little eggshell and pouring it into his hands. He giggles evilly to himself as he rolls it around, and makes it drip onto one hand then the other.

Reidan Wesley has arrived.

Reidan Wesley moves southeast to the Cascades.

Reidan Wesley has left.

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yon2YuXssvo"

Hardhead tilts his head towards Firefly and gives him a slight nod. "I took them from a Decepticon stronghold on a planet far from here. Been saving them for a special celebration." He hears Powerglide procede to empty his system. "Excuse me Firefly." He moves towards the mess that Powerglide is making. "I'll clean it up."

Remedy isn't sure what she's gonna do with an enercigar, sticking it in a dimensional pocket, while hugging the stego plushie

Keeper turns his head towards Hardhead. "... Really?"

Defensor glances at Hardheard and his gifts for a moment. "While understandable as this is part of the holiday tradition for many species, please remember to extinquish any ener-cigars before re-entering the Ark. We'd hate to have any fire hazards to give Red Alert another digital migrane, the ship is an antique of Cybertronian history." He reachs up to rap giant knuckles against the cockneye booster section that forms the entrance of the craft. "Die cast construction. It's a lost art."

After which he turns his attention back to the femme climbing into his lap, and then some, smiling and chuckling down at her. "I appreciate the sentiment, Torque. Trust me, just getting to spend time amongst my fellow Autobots and our human allies that does -not- involve fending off some deranged Decepticon plot of the week is more of a gift than many of you may realize." Pause. Eyes the gestalt sized mug off to the side. "... Prehaps a break -is- in order soon. As for you," One great hand reachs into the sack, and moments later hands Torque a large durabilium-cast socket wrench, that instead of removable sockets has them on rotating head-bits so you can just flip out the size you need. With a bow tied around it, of course. "Sorry you did not have this when you needed to slug some sense into Powerglide," he murmurs with a chuckle. And would possibly blush at the kiss to the cheek plate if he could.

"IT'S LIKE A NIAGARA FALLS OF PUKE!" Powerglide hollers, just about finishing up.

Hardhead grunts as he moves to a supply closet as he pulls out the Cybertronian version of a mop and a bucket. He nods to Keeper. "Yes. This is not the first time or the last time."

Torque's optics gain a bit of sparkle at the wrench being handed to her, gladly accepting it and giving it a brief hug. "Aww, you're the best, Defensor!" She hugs him next, giving the gestalt a few more smooches on the cheek before hopping off his lap. New tools were always a great gift to her.

After moving off the Santa area she hears Sit-Com call her name, making her raise a brow and wander over to recieve the gift. "Thanks, Sit-Com!" She grins bright, carefully opening up the present to see what's inside.

Remedy points over at Defensor, and Torque, "What's going on over there? Why is Torque doing that?"

Eventually Grapple will find someone wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Uhoh, is it another femme trying to put the moves on him? No... it's Repugnus. And his hands are all slimy, ewwww! "Hey. Don't get any ideas about that one," he says right into the construction Autobot's audial. "She, uh, just gets friendly when she's drunk, so it don't mean nuthin' if she gives you a peck or two. Got it?" He winks at him, then rubs a bit of the slime on Grapple's face. Of course, it's non-toxic toy slime, but he doesn't tell him that.

Sit-Com beams as Torque takes her gift. He looks at his list, wrinkles his brow, and then says, "Repugnus. Come on down!"

Sit-Com knows not of puking Autobots as he plays Santa version 2.0

Keeper stops back rubbing the purging Powerglide and backs up a few steps and curses in french. "Merde..."

Grapple actually jumps a little at the arm around his shoulder. Then, once he realizes who it is, he visibly cringes. "I truly have no idea what you're talking about." Maybe he doesn't; how often does he interact with girls? .. Or anyone, really? Then, there's slime on his face. "..I severely dislike you." And he tries to edge out of the arm wrap.

"NO ONE PANIC!" And just like that, Loadout is there. He'd faded into the background at some point and was busy with other stuff, but when it REALLY counts, he's suddenly there like a ghost. No sooner has Powerglide 'finished up' outside than the clean-frenzy Bot has descended with a device not unlike a fire extinguisher, and he's already turning the nozzle and pointing it at the mess, which is soon vanishing in a cloud of a liquid nitrogen cleaner mix that causes a thick fog to form within second, "Everything is completely under control!"

<KNUJ> Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=popPQmikR9w"

<KNUJ> Monstereo headbangs

<KNUJ> Sit-Com says, "Good tunes."

Repugnus smiles at Grapple, letting him go. "I know." Then, Sit-Com calls him up, and Repugnus gets the slime back into its little egg, closes it up, then wanders off to Sit-Com. "You rrrrrrang?" he says, hands on his hips.

Jayson Redfield is fluent in French, so knows right away what Keeper is saying. "Oh my," he murmurs. Caz looks at him quizically, and Jayson whispers in his ear.

"...Oh," Caz says simply.

Powerglide leans his back against the side of the Ark and slides down into a sitting position, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs. "Uuuughhhh... How is it that I feel worse off than I did before?"

Sit-Com hands Repugnus a package that is wrapped rather conservatively and bears a tag with his name. "You're the next contestant on the Price is Right! Here's your gift, and may it bring you holiday cheer!"

Grapple glares at Repugnus as he moves off. Then, he takes in a deep breath and.. Heads for the bar. "Water. And a towel, if possible." Slime still on his face.

Hardhead finally gets to where Keeper and Powerglide are located as he attempts to mop up the mess, but luckily for him. Loadout beat him to it "Primus, fliers can't hold there drink." He shrugs as he moves to put the mop up as he coughes out the foggy cleaning solution that now surrounds him.

Keeper steps back further as the ninja-maid Loadout appears and unleashes the nozzled fury upon Powerglide's upchuck. At Powerglide's question he takes a guess, "You're sobering up and your dignity levels are more visible now?"

Defensor chuckles, embarassed at the cheek smooches. Finally Torque hops off, but Defensor coughs at her. "Now then, regarding those presents to the Protectobots..." If anyone has the right to open them ALL up, it's him. Defensor reaches down with his Blades arm, scooping them all up. Hmm, some of them are big and some of them are small. He gives them a little shake, holding them up to his audio sensors while humming along with the Nightmare Before Christmas song (which, to be honest, might be a bit too scary for yougn children). Hopefully none will grow up to become kidnappers due to this.

He opens up the smallest one first. "Both Mortal Kombat films on laserdisc? Oh, thank you Torque. I know Blades will love it." He then opens up the biggest one, gasping in excitement. "The complete works of Celine Dion! First Aid will be playing this nonstop for the next six months, Torque."

Members of channel <KNUJ> are:

First Aid, Jayson Redfield, Monstereo, Portable Camera 1 <KNUJ>(#8275), Portable Camera 2 <KNUJ>(#7212), Powerglide, Reidan Wesley, Rodimus Prime, Sit-Com, Slugfest, Windshear

Remedy heads for the door. Perhaps they will let her know what's going on so she's prepared for next year, heading out

Torque seems to instantly sober up a little when she sees the gift Sit-Com gives her. Her face is nearly overtaken by a grin as she holds up a stack of magazines. "You got me a subscription to Mechanics Monthly /and/ got me the old issues? That's so sweet of you, Sit!" Antenna antlers wiggle in excitement as she hugs the Junkion tight. Maybe just a smidge too tight though.

Sit-Com would be blushing right now if he were organic.

Remedy moves southeast to the Cascades.

Remedy has left.

Jayson Redfield idly wonders if Sit-Com got him anything. Of course, he's not going to beg for gifts or anything like that.

"My only regret is not slapping more butts," Powerglide says with a heavy, almost forlorn, sigh. He pulls himself back up onto shakey legs and grunts, "Are we done here?"

Once Repugnus has taken his gift, Sit-Claus looks at his list again. "Jayson Redfield! Come on down!"

Keeper smiles, "You tell me."

Victory Leo has left.

Apparently Sit-Com DID get Jayson something! With Caz in tow, as usual, Jayson heads over to Sit-Com. "Hi."

Repugnus takes his gift, backing off a little before he tears it open. And he holds it up over his head... "It's a complete set of all the Saw movies!" Repugnus cries. He clutches it to his chest. "Ah, one of my favorite comedy series! Sit-Com, *how* did you know?"

Sit-Com gives Repugnus an awkard grin. "The nose knows."

"It's weird," Powerglide starts, readjusting his sweet anime shades. "I don't really feel like partying anymore." Being forced to throw up by a scary French robot can do that to a guy.

Torque somehow manages to subspace all those magazines before grabbing a still pipping hot mug of normal egg-nog brew, sipping it happily. She glanced over to Defensor as he starts to open his gifts, smiling happily. "Hey Defensor. Did you want alcoholic or non? I've got enough of both to fill that giant mug for yah."

Keeper shrugs. "Maybe you should go recharge?"

Andi Lassiter steps out of the house and off of the front porch.

Andi Lassiter has arrived.

Sit-Com hands Jayson his gift. "Oh look, it's for two," he says. A double-wrapped package is held out to the pair.

Jayson Redfield takes the gift. "Thanks, Sit-Claus!"

Sit-Com nods at Jayson, "Merry Christmas to you too!" Then looks at his list again, for the next name. "Keeper. Come on down!"

"Maybe YOU should go recharge," Powerglide snaps. But then Keeper gets called for a present and he just :|

Jayson Redfield opens up the gift for him and Caz. "A remake of Final Fantasy! Sweet!" He grins at Caz. "With a bit of tweaking this can become a two-player game."

Keeper arches a brow like a non-phased parent and then strolls back into the ark party area. He looks about and asks, "Who called for me?"

Jayson Redfield points Keeper toward Sit-Com. "He did. Get your gift from Sit-Claus!"

Two down and more to go. Amazing how someone Defensor's size can nimbly handle things made for normal Autobot sizes to unwrap those presents without smushing them... At first someone might think Streetwise's got mixed up with some other Bot's present, until one realizes that a directory of bars and seedy joints across the galaxy is -perfect- for tracking suspects to grill about illegal activities. Or maybe Torque is trying to tell him to relax a little.

Groove is next, which turns out to be a portable multi-color lavalamp and blacklight. Something to keep himself company with when he's on those long scouting soujorns away from the rest of the team.

Defensor pauses betwen presents, glancing in Torque's direction briefly. "Non, please. Alcoholic at this size would leave my components in a worse state than Powerglide there when we finally uncombine." Then turns back to the remaining present.

Which turns out to be a few cases of the energon equivilient to a high strength energy drink. Perfect for a guy like Hot Spot that insists on being actively 'on duty' as much and as long as possible.

"I'm sure they will all be quite pleased once I seperate, Torque, thank you," the titan rumbles finally.

Sit-Com waves Keeper over, reaching out with a rather boxy box of a giftbox! It's not garishly wrapped, but the paper is nice. Who knows what's inside?

The Shadow knows.

Keeper approaches the Junkion and accepts the box. He nods. "Thank you." And proceeds to carefully unwrap the gift with the same care as the previous one.

Torque pages: No worries

"Have a good one!" Sit-Com says to the respectable Monsterbot. "You're welcome!" He then goes further down the list. "Grapple! Come on down!"

Hardhead shrugs his shoulders as he walks over to Defensor. He looks at the combiner as he lifts his head off his shoulders. He places it in the Combiner's lap where the head quickly reverts to its robot mode. The rest of Hardhead simply stands still.

Grapple is wiping his face with a towel and some water from a mug when the call goes out. He blinks up at it, having not quite paid attention to the present giving, but heads on over to Sit-Com anyway. "Is something happening?"

Sit-Com hands Grapple a garishly wrapped orange and yellow present! "Merry Christmas, ho ho ho! Who knows what's inside?"

Defensor glances down at Torque, "Non, please." he says. What a surprise. The Protectobot combiner glances at the line. Is he truly through them all? That was a ton of kids, Transformers, grown men, and alien warrior women. Fighting Bruticus is exhaustive enough, but dealing with you people can be even harder. Still, Santa Defensor looks content as he leans back in his chair to relax. It's too bad Christmas only comes once a year. But then, we have one last person. "Ah, Duros!" Defensor exclaims. "You're the first Nebulon I've had the honour of speaking to tonight. What can Santa Defensor get for you this Christmas?"

Keeper finally gets the gifty unwrapped and he opens the box to reveal... a giant green jello with dry cat food bits laced throughout. "Uh..."

Grapple takes the garishly wrapped present with visible confusion. Still, after Torque's thoughtful gift, he quickly becomes eager, opening the present to find.. Modeling clay? It takes a moment for the crane to respond.

And when he does, he breaks out in to a grin and hugs the box. "Thank you!"

Grapple quietly sneaks out of the party with the modeling clay and blueprint paper clung to, a happy little architect.

Grapple has disconnected.

Torque smiles and nods, placing her mug down a moment and hefting up the giant gestalt-sized one before hauling it to the back. Easy enough when empty. But when she has to bring it back out it's on a wheeled platform, filled to the brim with the hot, steaming holiday nog brew. "Order up for Defensor!" She grins, wheeling it right up beside his big chair.

Sit-Com stares at Keeper's gift. "Uh, that's as much a surprise to me as it is to you," he says, "Someone must have swapped labels?"

Duros glances up at Defensor as he begins to speak, "Santa Defensor, what I want you can't give me. However, I will settle for a high-five."

Andi Lassiter arrives late, and in a hurry.

Jayson Redfield spots Andi, and waves his mechanical arm at her. "Miss Lassiter! Glad you made it!"

Keeper will eat mecha-spiders. But he will not eat /that/. "It's fine. Thank you again." He steps away wondering how he will dispose of it.

Sit-Com shrugs and nods at Keeper. Then he calls out another name. "Hardhead! Come on down!"

Hardhead the headless horseman Hardhead body starts to walk towards Sit-Com as he approaches he Junkion, his body emits, "Sit-Clause" in a very mechanical voice. Suprisingly, the Headmaster seems to move fluidly without his binary partner.

"It's the headless car-man!" Sit-Claus says, holding out a gift that is stacked. There's a larger box, and a smaller, Duros-sized gift tied on top. "Merry Christmas!"

Hardhead hand reaches out and grabs the he larger box and the smaller box. "Thank you." He bows slightly to Sit-Claus as he takes a few steps backwards.

Sit-Com nods and jingles some bells around his wrist. "Next up, Powerglide! Come on down!"

Powerglide runs all the way to Sit-Com, shaking his fists in the air like he's on the Price is Right. "Yeaaaaaaahhhh!"

Defensor gives the smaller Nebulon a brief nod, as if understanding what he would ask but doesn't since he already knows it's unlikely hood. "As you wish." He holds one of his massive hands down and open so Duros can high-five it. Best to let him do the motion, Defensor would probably knock him over even if he was trying to barely move.

Then reachs over with his First Aid arm to grab the humongous mug and lift it from the cart with ease. "Thank you. This holiday endevour has been a taxing, but enjoyable event." He sits back and takes a nice long gulp from the gestalt-sized container.

Sit-Com holds out a gift wrapped in red and smelling of Axe body spray. No telling what's in the box, as the scent was clearly sprayed on top of the paper at some point.

Torque vanishes out of reality.

Torque has left.

Andi Lassiter approaches Jayson and says hopefully quietly enough to not distract anyone, "Hey, sorry. What have I missed?"

With the package reeking of AXE it's anyone's guess why hundreds of women aren't currently rubbing their bodies all over it. Like his hands were little shredders, Powerglide tears open the gift wrap to reveal...the entire run of My Little Pony on Blu-Ray!

"HOW DID YOU KNOW!?" he gasps.

Duros reaches up with his tiny hand and gives Defensor a high-five. "Thank you." He then leaps off Defensor's lap and run towards Hardhead and leaps into the sky to form Hardhead's pretty face. Hardhead tilts his head left to right and gives it one roll as he looks at the two boxes.

"You missed Powerglide vomiting," Jayson says. "Be thankful."

Sit-Com hears what Jayson says to Andi. "Ewww," he says, then turns towards Powerglide, "Merry Christmas!"

Andi Lassiter blinks at Jayson and glances over toward Powerglide. "I ... see."

"Don't worry," Jayson adds. "Loadout cleaned it up. By the way, have you met Caz?" He motions toward his companion, a brunet about his own age.

At last, Sit-Com calls out, "Defensor! Come on down!" He holds a package of five separate boxes all tied together.

Powerglide vanishes out of reality.

Powerglide has left.

Hardhead slowly opens the big package first after setting the small one down. The big package reveals a TV with a built in Blu-Ray player. He then opens up he smaller package which reveals the Collection of the TV show, "Band of Brothers". Hardhead's optic bar flashes as he reads the back of the show's packaging. "Wow..." He seems excided.

Defensor gazes at the five additional presents. "These ones, Sit-Com, I'll let the rest of the Protectobots open themselves on Christmas Day." So long as there isn't any temporal craziness that happens between now and then, anyway. "Thank you for your kindness. I notice you haven't taken your turn, Sit-Com. Tell me, what can Santa Defensor do for /you/ this Christmas? If it's a promise to buy the latest KNUJ Best Of albums, I'm afraid I've already done it." he chuckles as if that's the most hilarious joke in the world.

Sit-Com chuckles. "Of course, Christmas Day is the best time to unwrap presents," he says, "Sit-Clause would like a nice new shiny space pillow," he says, "To go with my quilt."

Keeper thinks everyone has learned the lesson Powerglide demonstrated earlier whether Powerglide himself learned from it or not and he strolls away deeper into the Ark to go relax and recharge himself.

Sit-Com waves to the exiting Keeper, "Refunds within 14 days! Sleep tight!"

Defensor scratches his mighty, mighty, mighty chin. "A space pillow?" he asks.

Sit-Com nods. "Like the kind they have on Old Skool Glen A. Larson's Battlestar Galactica."

Defensor hmms. How the heck is he going to pull that out of his sack? Luckily, Defensor has a catch-all plan for this sort of thing. Reaching into his bag, he pulls out a tiny envelop. "Here you go, Sit-Clause. A gift card for Bed, Bath, and Beyond. There I am certain you will be able to find the space pillow to go along with your quilt."

"Aww, I'm touched," Sit-Com says, robo-blushing, "Thanks a lot, big guy."

Sit-Com stashes the gift away and then calls out another name. "Ms. Andi Lassiter. Come on down!"

Hardhead slowly walks out with his gifts as he seems to be talking to himself. "We can complete the whole show in one sitting...."

Keeper climbs up the platform to the communications room, and enters.

Keeper has left.

Andi Lassiter smiles and offers hand to Caz. "Hello, it's great to finally meet you. I've he.." She blinks and looks around confusedly. when Sit-Com calls out her name.

Sit-Com holds out a human-sized gift out to Andi, wrapped in red and green and tied with a two-color bow.

Hardhead has disconnected.

Andi Lassiter looks up at Sit-Com in surprise. "Wow. Thank you, Sit-Com." She takes the gift and after delicately untying the bow rips through the paper almost gleefully.

Sit-Com beams. "Merry Christmas!"

Truth be told, Defensor was quite pleased with himself. It was so rare he got to spend time with others that wasn't a fight and, other than Powerglide's issues with overimbument of high octane ener-drinks, a successful evening. Not to mention charitable for all the humans and former Crystal-City folk to get a chance to mingle with each other while waiting for their turns. Pushing himself to rise from his oversized santa chair, Defensor bows briefly to the remaining present. "It has been a pleasure getting time to spend civilly with all of you... but I believe it is time I allowed the rest of us to return to their duties." Cue an echoed version of the transformation sound as the gestalt finally demerges into his components.

Which results in Hot Spot half buried in a Santa coat and hat that's too large even for his size. It takes a few tries to grab the hat and pull it off his shoulders. "Well that was fun!"

Combat: Hot Spot dissolves Defensor.

Combat: Defensor dissolves into its component Protectobots.

Streetwise has left.

Streetwise has arrived.

Cavernous Entrance

Harsh, bright lights, the type seen either on movie sets or prisons, illumine every corner of this area. If any entrants have something to hide, they will have to do better than hiding it behind their backs. The area is plated over with solid, shiny, cheerful orange metal and is large enough to allow even Omega Supreme entrance to the bridge to the northwest. To the southeast, the vast expanse of the desert around the volcano rolls on as far as the optic can see.

The roof has been heavily reinforced to keep this exit open in case of volcanic eruption, that the Autobots might flee to safely. Despite sound dampeners in the walls, the volcano's occasional rumble is still audible, a dull roar. There are deep grooves in the floor and walls where the blast doors, thick and weighty enough to withstand almost anything. The doors can close more quickly than one might expect; quite quickly enough to keep out pesky wildlife.

Especially birds.

Contents:

Streetwise

Andi Lassiter

Loadout

Jayson Redfield

Sit-Com

Repugnus

Defensor

Autobot Hovercraft <Defender II>

Autobot Sensor #3597

Obvious exits:

Southeast <SE> leads to Cascades.

West <W> leads to Communications Room <Ark>.

Northwest <NW> leads to Bridge <Ark>.

Hot Spot has arrived.

Hot Spot strides into view, eager and confident.

Defensor has left.

This room is a shuttle room. You can type '+destinations' to take an auxillary shuttle from here.

Sit-Claus calls out names of (NPCs) others and gives them their gifts. Everybody is happy!

Andi Lassiter looks at the plain, unmarked box a bit confusedly then opens it and blinks. "A photo album, Sit-Com?" She pulls the book out and starts turning the pages, smiling as every page has photos of Autobots smiling, or waving hello, or scowling at the camera because they didn't want their pictures taken.

First Aid lands smoothly in a crouch beside his fellow Protectobots. "I'll say!" he agrees with the bossbot. "I can't wait to open up Sit-Com's present." He rushes over and shakes it a few times. At first it doesn't make any noise, but then after a good hard shake it starts making clinking noises. That's probably not a good sign.

Jayson Redfield bounds over to the Protectobots. "You guys were awesome! Though I have to ask: where DID you get that giant Santa hat?"

Hot Spot shrugs his way out of the coat. And folds them both up neatly so they can be stored away, and prehaps used again next year. "... I'm not entirely sure, Jayson."

Jayson Redfield laughs a bit. "Well, there's a lot stranger stuff to be found, I guess. But anyway, Defensor was great. It was awesome to see him doing something other than fighting." Especially since certain mechs like First Aid don't enjoy fighting at all.

Hot Spot laughs a bit. "Hear hear to that."

First Aid nods, "I think he'd like to do more of that, personally." First Aid idly wonders what would happen to Defensor if the war ended. What would Defensor want to do with his life? What /could/ he do with his life?

Jayson Redfield clasps his hands together as an idea occurs to him. "He could totally get a job as a mall Santa. Assuming that there are malls big enough for him, of course."

Sit-Com busies himself with handing out the last of the presents.

Andi Lassiter puts the photo album back in its box then looks around to see who's still here.

Jayson Redfield is, obviously, still here. And he's got a beer. The Autobots, it seems, do not care that he's still underage for the next several months.