Lesson from the Bottom of a Bottle

Six Lasers - Bar Moon

That's no moon. It's a Bar Moon.

Roughly a quarter the size of Earth's moon, Bar Moon is one of three Nepsan Lunar Satellites. The Moon has no breathable atmosphere, but a massive indoor city covers the entire surface. The city is one bar after another, ranging from safe, nearly family oriented pub and grills to sports bars to raunchy strip bars. There isn't a liquor for any alien species that one can't find on this moon. The one combining factor is that every bar has televisions set up to watch the Olympic games. Advertisements and tourism info booths are set up for those seeking transport to other attractions. Bar Moon is a major transportation hub, second only to Grand Central Station, with shuttles and cruise liners often leaving for most of the attractions. Artificial gravity wells keep the gravity close to Earth's, though after chugging too many back you might not notice.

Contents:

Markdown

Mirage [Hidden]

Blaster

Sandstorm

Impactor

Arcee

Blurr

Obvious exits: Nepsa Spaceport &lt;N&gt; leads to Six Lasers - Nepsa Spaceport. Space &lt;S&gt; leads to Six Lasers Solar System.

This is Six Lasers, where, if currency is exchanged, one can rent just about anything. Much like the country of Lichtenstein, in that respect. One can even rent a bar to go have a bar fight, and Kup, feeling that the training room is for /sissies/, has done just that. Besides, getting simulated overcharged just doesn't work very well. It's basically a hole in the wall dive bar, and it looks like it has been rented for bar fights before. Kup announces cheerily, "Now the first thing everyone needs to do is have a round of drinks, 'cos if you're getting in a bar fight? You've probably had some, and you're still gonna need to punch the Decepticons, even if you can't walk straight."

Impactor does just that, no need for the old mech to tell him twice. "Sure thing old timer!" he laughs, sitting down at a barstool. "Barkeep, we'll have.. uhh." the Wrecker leader pauses, turning around to count just how many Autobots showed up to fight and drink. There's lots.

"Uhh, just a lot of friggin' shots ... and keep 'em comin'!"

Blaster is in the corner talking shop with the alien DJ. Hey, every bar's got a DJ, even if it's just some guy pushing buttons on the entertainment system. He has a drink in each hand, hopefully one of those is for somebody else.

Blurr eyes the drink in front of him warily. Then he looks up at Kup. Then he looks down at the drink. He opens his mouth, then close it, then opens it and closes it again. Finally, he says, speaking at a rate that most would consider 'normal' rather than his usual accelerated pace, "Kup, are you all right? I mean, are you really you and not someone else disguised as you?"

Markdown walks in hesitantly, mouth slightly open as he approaches the bar like a death row inmate walking the last mile. "Oh, gosh, I don't know if this was a good idea," he sputters. "I know I need some more close combat training, but... this is a little much, isn't it?" Nevertheless, he finds himself a stool and gestures to the tender. "Uh, one cube for me."

"Best. Training idea. EVER." To say Sandstorm was ethused about getting drunk and then into a brawl on purpose would be putting it lightly. He chuckles a bit, and gives Kup a jab with his elbow. "I hope you bought a big tab, oldtimer. Us Wreckers tend to have a pretty high overcharge tolerance." If he's talking about the drinking or it's an -elaborate pun- is up to you.

Either way he saunters over to the bar and thumps down on the stool next to Impactor, snorting playfully. "Taking it easy, eh? I guess you old mechs gotta watch yer fuel ingestion track or something," he teases jovially. "Let 'im have his shots, give me a mug of the strongest thing ya got, barhop!"

Combat: Suddenly, Mirage appears out of thin air!

Kup looks over at Blurr, holds up his palms, and replies, "What, lad? C'mon, skewering you to the bar floor with that chair gave me an idea. See, the Olympics are coming up, and there's gonna be a blasted /truce/, so we're all gonna need to blow off some steam, and some of us, I reckon, will end up in bar fights. Nah. I /know/." He eyes the Wreckers. "We may as well not ashame ourselves and - Markdown, quit being a whiny coward!"

Mirage is seated in front of the bar, relatively unethusisastic at the idea of participating in such a rowdy training exercise. It's been a long time since he's visited a bar of any sort, but it's clear that his preference still leans towards the high class trendy lot. Certainly not a place where something like bar fights would happen. Decibel and the other commanding officers disagrees though. The counter-intelligence agent lets out a small sigh, "Being prepared for bar fights in case I ever end up in one while undercover, hmmm? I think bar fights is the least of my worries if I'm caught in a fisticuff while undercover in hostile territory." He takes a sip of from the jar of energon handed to him, grimaces a bit at the quality of it before setting it down disapprovingly.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Jazz says, "How ya holdin' up Clutch-O-Matic?!"

Blurr got to inspire Kup by being skewered. Lovely. He continues to eye his drink warily, like it might bite him. Man, this seems more like the sort of training session Hot Rod might have come up with back before he got all responsible and stuff than Kup. Finally he shrugs picks up his drink, starting to sip it.

Markdown protests, "I'm not a coward, I'm just not sure about punching someone in the face for no reason! It's... it's not professional! I mean, ok, I'll punch Decepticons, but outside of that, I prefer to resolve problems through negotiation. I'm a businessmech, you know." Once he is handed his cube, he drinks it down fairly quickly.

Kup adds, "See? Even Mirage is here." He pauses a moment to look at the menu, shrugs, and orders himself something strong. The drink that is slid to him crackles with yellow lightning inside and looks like it might explode. He shrugs again and takes a swig. "Yeah, okay, so... imagine you're negotiatin' all nice-like with some characters of less than sterling integrity, you've all had a few rounds, and then... they pull guns on ya. Whatcha gonna do then?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Clutch wheezes, "Still got enough left in the tank to take out this Stunticon. How about you?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Jazz laughs, "As the humans say...I'm doin' just swell!"

Impactor thows back some generic brew, waiting for the -real- party favors in the meantime. "Old mech? That's somethin' you'll never be if you don't watch yerself kid." the grumpy Wrecker asides to Sandstorm, rotating in the barstool to get a good view of Kup and his demonstration.

"Didn't have tha core ta tell him we didn't need tha lesson, but hey ... who can turn down free booze?" Impactor quietly notes to Sandstorm.

"Flip tha table up on 'em and either make a break away... or beat tha fool outta them." Mr. Purplepants shouts from his seated position.

Blaster wanders over to the other Autobots now, standing somewhat ahead of Kup. Talk of flipping tables bring a fond grin to his face. But then Blaster is always grinning. "Hmm. If I was there, I'd jam the radio transmissions. Make sure the bad guys couldn't call for reinforcments." He makes a gesture as if he's cracking his knuckles. "And THEN beat the fool outta them."

Blurr considers the scenario. He brightens and says, "I'd just run around the table an-" and then he catches himself and slumps. "Nevermind," he mutters, then frowns and thinks. "I'd probably just duck beneath the table," he says sadly.

Mirage lifts his head up and barely forces out a feigned smile in response to Kup's mention of his presence, "Yes, absolutely thrilled to be here. Quite." before slumping back down again and resting his arms against the bar table.

Sandstorm chuckles a bit, both at Impactor's advice to him, and to the 'training' in general as he turns to watch after picking up his mug, no sparks but its certainly hissing and snapping up a storm before he leans back on the bar with one arm while using the other to chug it down.

Then once it's empty, holds the mug up. "And don't forget. Improvised weaponry!" The barkeeper sort of shoots him a glare for even suggesting using the drinkware as weaponry.. But then decides he doesn't care, it's just the cheap stuff with how often fights break out here anyways.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Fortress Maximus says, "Well, that was rather distasteful. Can someone explain what I had just walked into?"

Arcee bursts in fifteen minutes late and already tipsy enough to be a little wobbly on her feet. "No way, Blurr totally had the right idea the first time, using the furniture! I would jump up on the table like this!" She springs onto Blurr's table and starts dancing sinuously. "And then I'd get my groove manifold on like this!" Glasses are getting kicked off the table. "And then I'd jump on them like this and choke them out!" With a nimble cartwheel Arcee hurls herself at Impactor, trying to execute (drunkenly) her signature thigh-clamp maneuver.

Combat: Arcee misses Impactor with her Girl Gone Wild (Grab) attack!

&lt;Autobot&gt; Jetfire says, "Our little expaidition of this mystery laiden planet got a bit of an infestation."

Arcee crashes behind the bar instead, giggling.

Kup grins as the Autobots around him come up with some good ideas and then Arcee... channels Budiansky's original intentions for the character of Ratchet: that she be a hard-drinking, hell-raising woman. Kup rubs the back of his head and stares, saying slowly, "...well, I'll be blasted. Don't see that every day!"

Blurr, holding onto his cube, dives under the table. "Hey! I didn't get a chance to finish my drink!" he shouts. Then he grumbles, "I hate being slow," and takes a sip from his cube.

Sandstorm leans over a little as Arcee comes hurtling by after that previous display. ".. No one told me there'd be a floor show at this shindig too!" he laughs.

Markdown makes a face. "Okay, fine, I guess THEN I'd punch them in the face. But we're INVITING trouble and... ah... nevermind. Another cube please!" he yells, then finishes off the one he's got.

Impactor ducks low, -almost- spilling his drink to the floor. Almost. "Sorry lass, if I'd have let ya clamp down onna me ... I'm thinkin' mah second in command might have some choice werds fer yers truly." he mutters over the bar, at Arcee.

"What do ya expect Kup, yer coverin' basics in a room full of Wreckers and hardnoses." the Wrecker leader shouts to Kup, grabbing at a pitcher of Ener-brew and taking a looooooong gulp that drains half of it. "Why don't we move onta the advanced class?"

Well. There's Blurr, Impactor. And Mirage. And Markdown. And Arcee, who... Kup doesn't even know what to make of /that/. (Kup's weakness is stuff he's never seen before!) But, at Impactor's challenge, Kup shrugs, pulls out a lighter, flicks it on, and tries to toss it into Impactor's drink as he's gulping, answering cheerily, "Okay. Vol-a-tile chemicals. Bars are fulla 'em, and after you've been drinkin' a bit, so are you. So you gotta deal with being unable to see straight and bein' twice as likely to explode."

Combat: Kup strikes Impactor with his Lighter to the Ener-brew-fu (Grab) attack!

Mirage is visibly startled in response to Arcee's sudden display of acrobatics, successful or not, he knows well enough now who NOT to cross in a fight. "My goodness that's... new." He backs away a bit, exercising discretion in the face of uncertain circumstances. The counter-intelligence agent is definitely paying attention now, if only to keep a keen optic out for anybody making a demonstration out of him.

".. Aaah, slag." Sandstorm quickly bolts in the other direction as Kup starts throwing flame about... after grabbing another pitcher off the bartop in the same swift turn of course. Once he's safely on the other side of the bar, then he stops to take a chug from it. "That was dirty and lowdown Kup... I like it!"

The lighter flies through the air, impacting with the steady flow of energon into the lummox's mouth ... igniting it into a flaming stream. Following the path down, a tiny *BURRRW* is heard from Impactor's 'stomach' ... expanding once it's detonated with what he drank prior.

Smoke trails from his mouth, a woozy look on Impactor's face. After about ten minutes of painful belches and a hand to his gut, the Wrecker leader regards Kup.

"Whoa. Not cool, Kup. So not cool."

Arcee reappears from behind the bar, grinning lopsidedly at Impactor. "Awww, you're such a gennleman, Impactor." She climbs back over the bar a little awkwardly and dusts herself off, sitting down to listen to Kup while bouncing one foot and humming something. "Kup! Are you okay, Impactor?"

Blurr's optics open wide as Kup start flicking fire about, and decides that maybe this particular table isn't his best option for a hiding place, so he starts to scramble across the floor, cube still in hand as he heads for another table, which he knocks over to use as a shield. He peeks out over the edge of the table and notes, "I don't think it's supposed to be cool. It's fire, which is usually hot, not cool. Hot's the opposite of cool." Though he's speaking in 'slow motion' compared to his usual speed, he still has something of his usual repetative speech patterns - he's just taking way too long to get through it.

Blaster flinches back at the sudden pyrotechnics (sorta). "Twice as likely to explode?" he echoes. "How do you figure that, Kup?" He watches Sandstorm tilt back the pitcher. "Uh, nevermind, think I got it." He wanders around to stand at the othert end of the bar now.

Kup explains casually, "That's the hangover cure we used to use in the 37st Battalion, back on Poora. ...we went through a /lot/ of smoke detectors in that base, I tell you. So anyway, y'wanna make something of it, Mr. Advanced Class?" Kup grins and holds up a hand - c'mon, Impactor's had worse. He can walk it off.

Markdown watches Arcee launch herself at Impactor, and then he gapes as Kup sets Impactor's drink on fire. He looks about with trepidation. "Uh, so what, are we starting now?" he says, holding his second cube in hand. He shrugs, and drinks the cube.

Sandstorm chuckles a bit as he leans back against the wall, sounding a little buzzed as he works on the pitcher. He's probably gonna take more to get anywhere near heavily boozed up, but he's working on it.

Markdown watches Arcee launch herself at Impactor, and then he gapes as Kup sets Impactor's drink on fire. He looks about with trepidation. "Uh, so what, are we starting now?" he says, holding his second cube in hand. He shrugs, and drinks the cube.

Sandstorm chuckles a bit as he leans back against the wall, sounding a little buzzed as he works on the pitcher. He's probably gonna take more to get anywhere near heavily boozed up, but he's working on it.

Mirage raises an optical groove at the sight of Impactor's fiery demonstration and makes a mental note of it, he's actually learning something afterall. He embraces this guilty pleasure with renewed interest as he shoots off a question over to the grizzled old Autobot veteran, "Well, I'd say that's a nice trick, Kup, but what advice do you have for those of us who aren't as physically talented or have something handy in sight to combust?"

"Gah, just keep on tellin' tha gang what ta do... ugh." Impactor shoots back at Kup, with a slight snarl. His arm is still cradling his midsection from discomfort however, smoke still slowly trails from his mouth.

Blurr thinks over what /he'd/ do in a barfight. Well, really, he'd generally just run, unless there was a good reason not to. He finishes his cube (because he was ordered to, right?) and lets go of the empty frame, which disappaits, before he tries to sneak towards the door.

Kup looks over at Mirage, quirking an optical ridge. What, the gentleman spy is actually asking the ol' roughneck for advice? That's a first. Kup laughs and points up, suggesting, "Well, y'heard of swinging off the rafters, right? Some of the lighter Autobots, Mirage, like you, Blurr, and Arcee, could really get the drop on an attacker if you dropped down outta the rafters. C'mon, Arcee, why don't you try that on Blurr?" Since the girl seems rather... 'enthusiastic'. Yeeeah. And since Blurr is trying to sneak away. Kup gets himself another drink, as Impactor retreats. "Markdown, lemme just set out the prize, for this little lesson, when we're all done, and we'll get to it..." He reaches into his subspace pocket, looking for...

Sandstorm pauses in sipping down the end of his pitcher of ener-booze, lowering it just enough to peer over the edge at Kup as he mentions prizes...

"Aye aye, Sarge!" Arcee exclaims with a jaunty salute, popping up to her feet. She leaps lightly onto the bar, then from there to the ceiling beams, grabs one of them, spins around it with toes pointed like a gymnast, and flings herself back down at Blurr to try to wrestle him to the floor!

Combat: Arcee strikes Blurr with her Triple Salchow with a Half Twist (Smash) attack!

...a six pack of bottled energon, distilled twelve times in casks of tutonium, trobulum, trithyllium, tritanium, tironium, solitarium, rheanimum, polyxylon resin, newtronium, korlonium crystal, and alternium. This energon is older than most of the Autobots in this room. Vintage. Kup sets it gently down on a table far, far away from the main pack of the Autobots. Kup explains, "Killarn's finest. Decepticons slagging blew up the brewery. An' the whole territory. You'll never see the likes of /that/ again. Your motivation."

Blurr is wrestled to the floor by Arcee! While more than one of his friends might enjoy this, Blurr's finding it rather unpleasant (well, okay, it isn't /that/ bad, really). "Hey, let go, no fair!" he shouts, attempting to squirm away. He makes a grab for the leg of a chair and tries to pull that towards them, mostly... well, looking to tangle Arcee up in the chair so that she's not got him tangled up instead!

Combat: Blurr misses Arcee with his Chair Leg Tangle (Punch) attack!

The bottles are made out of Decepticon heads. All 'roadkill'. It's a shame not to recycle them, right?

Markdown stares at the rare vintage energon bottles. "Wooowwwwww," he says breathlessly. "Those things must be worth millions of energon chips! Uh... I don't suppose we can keep them... and... sell them?" He looks at Kup with a bit of a hopeful grin.

Impactor groans, still clutching his sides. "Sorry Storm, I've gotta bleed these lines ... or I'll end up havin' all of them replaced before tha night's over." he mutters to his fellow Wrecker, stumbling off towards a repair facility and sequested area of the Bar they rented out.

Not before giving Kup and his prize a nasty glare first, of course.

Backfire has arrived.

Impactor vanishes out of reality.

Impactor has left.

Kup gives Markdown a too-wide grin and puts his hand on his hip, explaining, "Hey, you win 'em, lad, you can do whatever you want with 'em, but a /real/ 'bot would drink 'em."

Mirage jaw drops, his optics narrowing at the sight of Arcee riding Blurr like she owns the poor fella. He then looks up at the ceiling beams and frowns momentarily before dismissing any intentions in his mind of even attempting to replicate Arcee's actions. "Hmm... I think I'll just settle with disappearing out of sight."


 * BEFORE**

Backfire is sitting in his personal quarters, when a call comes in on a -secured- line. "Okay comrade, I understand. The 'target' and his cache will be at the Bar Moon in fifteen stellar cycles. Yes, I'm quite prepared to deal with him. His friends? Oh, no ... didn't count on company. Nononono, it's still a go. Yes. Just make sure you have my payment ready, SWINDLE!"

DUN DUN DUNNN!


 * NOW**

From his 'vantage' point outside the establishment, the Seeker simpleton known only as Backfire. Well, that's not true. Some people call him Lameaft, Lackey, and Idiot. Anyways, the Decepticon peers through the small hole in the wall ... waiting for Kup to reveal the coveted prize. The one he was sent here to take. "Crap, Swindle didn't mention -this- many warriors would accompany him!"

"... You're not slaggin' us, are you Kup? That distillary is legendary. To find even a bottle of it, no less a six pack..." You wanted motivation, well, you certainly got it. Gingerly he sets the pitcher down as to not make too much noise with it. "Drink one for the experience, sell the others," he murmurs, smirking at Markdown as he saunters up to him. "You'd still make a mint on five.

Behind his back, he pops open a wrist compartment and slips his knife out into his hand. "Of course, first you gotta win. Oh, and another lesson..." Snaps his arm out quickly and attempts a short, sudden jab into the dealer's side. "Hidden Weapons."

Maybe he took offense at the thought of selling it? Wreckers do like their booze after all.

Combat: Sandstorm strikes Markdown with his Surprise Stab attack! [Pulled -1]

Arcee expertly remains stuck to Blurr as he tries to use a Foreign Object! to escape. "We're tangle buddies! Blurr, we're tangle buddies!" she laughs as if this was the greatest thing, and rolls under the table. "Okay, now what, Impactor?"

"I mean, Kup, sorry," says Arcee's voice from under the table.

Markdown raises a brow at Sandstorm. "Huh, you know that's pretty good advice. Drink one for novelty's sake, sell the rest, still make a profi--OH GEEZE YOU STABBED ME OH PRIMUS WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Markdown begins bellowing as he gets shanked in the side of his gut. He stares at the wound, watching a bit of energon dribble out, snarls, and then LUNGES at Sandstorm.

"Yeah!? Well, I'll be damned if all that MONEY is going to waste in your fuel processor!" Markdown growls as he tries to slam the Wrecker against the bar, attempting to use his weight to his advantage.

Combat: Markdown strikes Sandstorm with his "Bar"ring any further objections (Smash) attack!

Kup mutters, "Sorry lass, but I can't let that stand. I'm Kup! How hard is that? K. U. P. - Kup!" That said, he attempts to go grab Arcee and throw her into poor Mirage, because Sandstorm and Markdown have already started the rivalry from the Pit.

Combat: Kup sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Kup strikes Arcee with his Say My Name (Ruckus) Area attack!

Combat: Kup misses Mirage with his Say My Name (Ruckus) Area attack!

Blurr is pulled under the table by Arcee.

Springer's going to kill him, isn't he?

"I'm not your tangle buddy your tangle buddy's not here!" he protests. Then he actually thinks back to the lessons that Kup's been giving him and starts to try to slam the side of his hand into her elbow, trying to force the female Autobot to let him go...

But then Kup grabs Arcee off of Blurr, and he just shrugs, since now there's no longer anything to hit.

Still peering through the small, by Cybertronian aspect, hole in the wall Backfire slumps down. "Are you stupid? Seriously, how did you let Swindle of all people talk you into this?? This is madness, this is rediculous!" the Seeker quietly berates himself, throwing his head back in frustration.

Standing, he peers through the hole again. "Oh, yes. They're fighting EACHOTHER!!" he shouts, then slaps a hand over his own mouth to keep from being found out. "Perfect, I couldn't have planned this better myself. Now, all I have to do is wait ... until they're all distracted enough..." Backfire trails off.

"Wheeeee!" exclaims Arcee, pulled off Blurr by the scruff of her neck (she has a convenient handle built into the armored collar there, although it's more for dragging her away as a casualty and less for throwing her by) and flung across the room. She crashes through a table and lies on the ground, rolling back and forth and laughing. "Oooh, that knocked the air out of me!"

Mirage stares at Kup suspiciously as the cranky old bot makes his way over the Arcee. His suspicions pays off as he sees the femme being picked up and his natural instinct kept him safe as he hurries out of the way. Mirage might not be great melee combatant, but he's crafty enough to keep himself out of harms way. Most of the time.

"Sweet mercy, I had nothing to do with that!" Sure Mirage could've at least tried to catch Arcee, but if he did stuff like that, would other Autobots still think he's a shifty bastard?

Sandstorm OOMPHS as Markdown lunges into him, and the two go crashing down, smashing a table and sending chairs careening about. After a huff to suck some air back into his intakes, the Wrecker smirks at the other Bot that threw him to the ground. "We'll see who's waistin' what now won't we?!", he snaps back as he swings a lopsiding right hook in an attempt to slug Markoff off of him again.

Combat: Sandstorm sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Sandstorm strikes Markdown with his Drunk punch or punch drunk? You decide! (Punch) attack!

Kup will /always/ think Mirage is a shifty bootleg, if that helps any. Then, to check and see if Blurr has actually learned anything, he grabs a chair and wings it at Blurr, legs first, hollering, "C'mon, quit whining about being slow and show me whatcha know!"

Combat: Kup strikes Blurr with his Oh No The Chair Again (Punch) attack!

"Poor Blurr," coos Arcee, sitting up to watch Kup beat poor Blurr with a chair leg.

Blurr is pinned down by a chair. AGAIN. But this time he's just stuck beneath the legs. This time, however, he doesn't panic - he pulls his legs back and pushes the chair off of him and towards Kup. "I know to look for escape routes!" he answers as, hit or miss, he immediately goes scurrying for the next overturned table.

Combat: Blurr sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Blurr strikes Kup with his Return Chair (Kick) attack!

Combat: You took 4 damage.

Markdown lets out a "Whfff!" as he takes the punch right across his face, and staggers off of Sandstorm. "You sonuva..." he grates out. "Yeah, we'll see what's going to be wasted! YOU'LL BE WASTED!" He grabs a nearby bottle, smashes it on the side of a table (he had seen that move in a movie) and then tries to jab Sandstorm in the legs with the sharp, broken end. "Because... you... uh... ARE waste!"

Combat: Markdown strikes Sandstorm with his Broken Bottle (Punch) attack!

"I thought the assignment WAS to be wasted!" laughs Arcee.

"Okay. Good. Now that almost every Autobot is enveloped in combat, it's time for me to make -my- entrance!" Backfire pumps himself up with a shout, sauntering up to the doorway and stopping.

Head down, the Seeker simpleton proceeds to talk himself up before rushing in guns blazing. "Okay Backfire. Don't wimp out on me now. They have no idea who they're messing with. They don't know. They don't know crap. You're not gonna get wasted. You know why? Cause you're freaking Barretta. Yeah, that's right. You're super cool. You're the glory of the EMPIRE!"

Barging through the doors, Backfire holds up two palms and sends a streak of low level plasma at all the Autobots in the bar. "Greetings fools, I ... BACKFIRE!! Have come for my prize, now submit before I -have- to offline you all!"

Chromia has arrived.

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Backfire strikes Kup with his STICK 'EM UP!! Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Backfire (Backfire) used "Solar Assault": A Level 0 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 0 damage.

Combat: Backfire's attack damages your armor.

Combat: Backfire misses Sandstorm with his STICK 'EM UP!! Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Backfire strikes Markdown with his STICK 'EM UP!! Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Backfire strikes Blurr with his STICK 'EM UP!! Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Blurr's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Backfire strikes Arcee with his STICK 'EM UP!! Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Arcee has been temporarily incapacitated.

Combat: Backfire strikes Mirage with his STICK 'EM UP!! Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Kup gets booted by a chair and actually laughs. "Good, you didn't panic! Now try flipping some tables. That's a good old stand-by, it is." Kup himself starts to reach for a menu, presumably to use it as some deadly improvised weapon. ...and then some Decepticon idiot thinks it is a good idea to bust in on a room of drunk Autobots who were already fighting. Covered in plasma that is eating his armour, Kup looks at the other Autobots and says simply, voice quite nearly a snarl, "Thrash 'im."

Combat: Kup inspires Arcee, Mirage, Sandstorm, Blurr, and Markdown with noble and lofty words!

Sandstorm frowns, both at the booze that spills when Markdown smashs the bottle, and that he was beat to the punch in doing so! This is followed by a grunt as he stumbles back a step as the sharp edges jab forth and crack up the window portions of the cab making up his chest. "Nice move dude, need to work on the witty lines though." Pauses a moment. "Oh, screw it if this ain't actually a battle... WRECK 'N' RULE!"

Kicking off from his spot, Sandstorm barrels forward at Markdown in attempt to tackle him, and then keep right on going across the bar. So either he's going to plow through people with his opponent.. or just crash through in general because he's too drunk already to stop effectively and may crash through several other Autobots in the process. Even as a plasma blast goes shooting just past his head, and the Wrecker yelps in surprise as there's suddenly someone else in front of him.

Did we mention he's too tipsy to actually stop? Backfire might find out soon enough!

"What?" Arcee wonders, stunned into inaction by this turn of events!

Combat: Sandstorm misses Markdown with his Drunken Headlong Charge (Ruckus) Area attack!

Combat: Sandstorm strikes Kup with his Drunken Headlong Charge (Ruckus) Area attack!

Combat: Sandstorm (Sandstorm) used "Ruckus": A Level 2 AREA-MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 7 damage.

Combat: Sandstorm strikes Blurr with his Drunken Headlong Charge (Ruckus) Area attack!

Combat: Sandstorm strikes Backfire with his Drunken Headlong Charge (Ruckus) Area attack!

Blurr is blasted with plasma as Backfire bursts in, which knocks his targeting systems offline for the moment, and then, while distracted as he sees just /who/ it is that's burst in, he's trampled by Sandstorm! He sqwaks, but then shakes his head before glaring up at Backfire. "You. You-you-you-you!" he exclaims, speaking a little faster than 'normal' for the moment, but no where near his normal rate. "Not this time!" he shouts, springing to his feet to flip the nearest table - right towards Breakaway!

Erm. Backfire. Not Breakaway.

Combat: Blurr misses Backfire with his Table Flippin' (Kick) attack!

Mirage dives left, rolls right, and doing just about everything that he can to keep himself from becoming collateral damage as the other Autobots engage in their hooliganism. He reaches for the door just in time for it to be thrown open, knocking him clear off his feet and right onto the ground. On the ground, seeing stars and totally helpless, Mirage was in no shape to react to the sudden arrival of Backfire and his subsequent barrage of fire. All he knows is that there's a Decepticon in here, or maybe four... he really can't tell what with the disorientation and all, but the order has been given to fire and Mirage acknowledges, "You got it, take cover if you know what's good for you. I'm seeing quadrupals and somebody's going to pay!"

Combat: Sneak Attack!!

Combat: Mirage strikes Blurr with his random fire (Full-Auto) Area attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: Sneak Attack!!

Combat: Mirage strikes Backfire with his random fire (Full-Auto) Area attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: Sneak Attack!!

Combat: Mirage strikes Arcee with his random fire (Full-Auto) Area attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: Sneak Attack!!

Combat: Mirage strikes Sandstorm with his random fire (Full-Auto) Area attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: Sneak Attack!!

Combat: Mirage strikes Kup with his random fire (Full-Auto) Area attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: Mirage (Mirage) used "Full-Auto": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 4 damage.

Combat: Sneak Attack!!

Combat: Mirage strikes Markdown with his random fire (Full-Auto) Area attack! [Pulled -1]

Markdown is sent barreling through the bar, smashing aside obstacles, tables, and people, and oddly all he gets in exchange is a few minor dents. However, Sandstorm can't keep this up for long, as Markdown is pretty strong, being a Hummer, and he is also really heavy. So, he plants his feet into the ground, coming to a grinding halt, and with a great heave he pushes back, until now it's Markdown using Sandstorm as a living plow.

"You're messing with a Hummer, buddy!" Markdown snarls. "There isn't a vehicle in the market that's tougher or stronger! Well, in our category, anyway! Of course it's not going to beat a Semi--OW!" He winces as he takes several blasts from around the room. "You're shooting now!? That's going too far! AHHHHHH!" He pushes Sandstorm around the room, trying to slam him into everything he can, and he's especially gravitating towards the source of those shots.

Combat: Markdown sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Markdown strikes Kup with his Throwing My Weight Around Area attack!

Combat: Markdown (Markdown) used "Throwing My Weight Around": A Level 3 AREA-MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 9 damage.

Combat: Markdown strikes Backfire with his Throwing My Weight Around Area attack!

Combat: Markdown strikes Mirage with his Throwing My Weight Around Area attack!

Combat: Markdown misses Sandstorm with his Throwing My Weight Around Area attack!

"Ow! Mirage, that stings," complains Arcee, pulling an armor-piercing dart out of her shoulder. "Kup, did you invite this Decepticon? Is he part of the training?"

Kup is bashed into by a drunken Sandstorm, because he's just standing there and spouting off about how they need to murder Backfire dead. He does not take cover when Mirage suggests taking cover, because that's just how Kup rolls. So he gets riddled with holes by the spy - see, this is why Kup will always be suspicious of Mirage. Then Sandstorm smacs into him again, but that is Markdown's fault. Kup grabs a bottle of cheap energon and chuck it at Backfire's eyes, aiming to get greasy, flammable fuel spilled all over the jerk's face. He hollers over at Arcee, "He ain't invited!"

Combat: Kup misses Backfire with his You Have Pink On You (Punch) attack!

Arcee squints down the barrel of her plasma blaster at the flammable Backfire, the tip of her silver tongue protruding slightly from her lips as she concentrates on not shooting the wrong person, unlike certain other Autobots one could name!

Combat: Arcee sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Arcee analyzes Backfire for weaknesses.

Backfire is knocked into by the Wrecker beatnik soon after his entrance, throwing him off balance and stutter stepping to the right. Just enough to allow him to evade the table flip from Blurr, but right into Mirage's laser blast. Face full of scorching, he wobbles around a little bit before regaining balance. Sneering, "Impudent fool, I'd exact my revenge on you... but I have an -objective- to obtain!" the Seeker finishes, then gets slobberknocked by Sandstorm ... only this time, wielded as a bludgeon. :(

Getting back up again, the Simpleton rests his optics on the Autobot Speedster. "Oh! Greetings my down trodden friend. Tell me, does it take all this.." he gestures around him, "To make you feel happy? Certainly, the Autobots could use a lackluster courier like you!" the Seeker laughs, planting his hands on his hips.

"Ugh, enough idle chatter. I've come for my prize, one that none of you shall deny me!" Backfire hollers aloud, igniting boot thrustors and heading straight for the energon prize!! Clasping his nasty little Seeker mits around the delicate six-pack of Decepticon heads, he barrel rolls and crashes against a far wall. Blinking, the realization dawns on him that he now has to make an exit ... through a room full of drunk Autobots. But the prize is all that mattered, he dares a glance down to remark on it's unusual containers.

"Hey, that's Breakaway. I knew that guy."

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Backfire has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Ahhh yes, the Bar Moon. The perfect place to come if you're looking to have a good time, or simply forget all your worries for a time. One Autobot femme in particular has come to forget...to lose the feel of the weight of millennia on her shoulders, to forget friends that have been lost...to forget the pain of losing people dear to her, and one who was more important than all.

The last thing Chromia expected to walk into was a bar fight. The VERY last thing she expected to walk into was a bar fight where most of the participants were her fellow Autobots. Raising her head slightly towards the ceiling, the femme would have rolled her optics if it was possible. Instead, she tilts her head down towards the floor and shakes it, covering her face with her hand.

Taking a deep breath, she raises her head and examines the chaos ensuing,"This is ridiculous..." she begins, pulling her hand away from her face and balling it into a fist as she begins to walk towards the bar proper,"...what the SLAG DO YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" she adds, raising her voice considerably and bringing her fist down onto a table with enough force to shatter it.

Putting her hands on her hips, she glares at the Autobots...and yes, even the Decepticon...and grits her teeth-equivalents lightly,"You should all know better than to do something like this...ESPECIALLY YOU Kup; you're a senior officer, and one of the oldest, maybe even THE oldest, Autobot alive...what kind of example do you think you're setting?" she growls, already in a black mood because of her previous musings. Briefly she wonders to herself if anyone's paying mind to her..

Blurr's optics narrow and his lips pull downward in a frown. It's the closest he gets to a snarl. He's not good at snarling. "I'll show you lackluster!" he shouts angrily at Breakway, voice now slowed back down to 'normal person' speeds. He draws his electro-laser from subspace and actually takes a moment to try to aim, though that makes him more vulnerable. After he fires, however, he gives the screaming Chromia a baffled look. "I'm firing at the Decepticon," he points out.

Combat: Blurr sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Blurr misses Backfire with his Electro-Laser attack!

"... Hey, who invited the Deceptidweeb?" Sandstorm slurrs as he realizes what he hit definately wasn't an Autobot drinking buddy. Followed by a "Yowl!" as he's shot in the back by Mirage's wild fire, and then despite what the attack name says it's the Triplechanger's weight that Markdown is throwing around. But being the daredevil he is, Sandstorm knows how to roll with the blows, twisting to smack others (including that Seeker again!) with his legs and kick off of them so he's not hurt himself. Then finally gets swung loose, tumbling over the bar and crashing behind it briefly. ".. I'm not drunk enough to deal with this yet." A lone hand reachs up, fumbles around a bit, and grabs a bottle off the back rack and pulls it back down. By the time he stands back up he's already draining it. "Okay, NOW I am drunk enough to--"

Sandstorm stops as Chromia bursts in and yells at them, an angry femme being one of the few things even a Wrecker will take pause at. "Example? It was his idea!", he calls back, then starts laughing as he hops over the bar. Veers a little one way, a little the other way, and then stagger-lunges towards Backfire to try and swing a haphazard swing at the Seeker.

Mirage frowns as all the phantom Decepticons in front of takes the hits from his blaster fire, "Right... I'm fairly certain I shot five targets too many there." The Autobot counter-intelligence agent lets out a frustrated sigh, this definitely isn't going to help the "trust" issues with his peers. Nope. Not one bit at all. What else is new? Before Mirage can dwell any further on this though, he is slammed across the room by Markdown as the Autobot cruises by. For the time being, Mirage is trying to get back onto his feet, it helps that he isn't seeing stars and glitters anymore though.

Combat: Mirage takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Combat: Sandstorm misses Backfire with his Drunken Boxing (Punch) attack!

"Hang on, Chrome, I have to shoot this Decepticon," Arcee says tipsily, focussing on holding her blaster's sights steady on the escaping (sort of) seeker who's attempting to ABSCOND: with Kup's prize!

Combat: Arcee misses Backfire with her Legend of Drunken Master II: The Pinkening attack!

Markdown stumbles after Sandstorm. "HEY! Hey! We aren't through yet, now! I still got a--woop--!" Right about then, Markdown trips over an overturned chair, and his forward momentum sends him sliding towards the triple-changer, and maybe even Arcee. He doesn't hear Chromia at all, and he probably doesn't even know there's a Decepticon in the room.

Combat: Markdown strikes Sandstorm with his Slip Slidin' Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Markdown misses Arcee with his Slip Slidin' Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Springer has arrived.

Arcee entirely vaporizes an innocent mounted turbomoose head on the wall of the Moon Bar, although she doesn't find out until later because the recoil knocks her on her back and in her drunken state she passes out immediately.

Arcee will probably need to be carried off by Springer.

Arcee has disconnected.

Backfire gets up on his feet, hurriedly looking around at the Autobots gathered. Unless smiled down upon by Straxus himself, the odds do not look to be in his favor ... not at all. Blurr's attack comes in first, electro laser sails over his left shoulder as he bobs. "Try again, speedster." Sandstorm is up next, sending a much telegraphed and expected drunken punch at his face. Ducking low, Backfire dashes around and forward past the Wrecker. "Sorry, too slow." Arcee's powerful blast detonates right above him, making the Seeker pratically jump out of his frame. Splinters rock the area as the mounted turbomoose head it did manage to hit, vaporized. "Ha, nice."

A brisk jog forward, he jumps into the air tucking the SACRED enerhol into his private subspace department, and transforms. &lt;&lt;I would love to stay and chat Autotards, but my buyer awaits delivery!! You've just been punked, by BACKFIRE ... glory of the EMPIRE!!&gt;&gt; he emits, rocketing towards the bar room's swinging doors and freedom.

A shake, shudder, and shiver; and before your eyes BACKFIRE transforms into a F-16 Falcon!

Combat: F-16 Falcon &lt;Backfire&gt; begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

Chromia grits her 'teeth' again as everyone, willfully or non, essentially ignores her. Walking over to a table on her right, she leans down and grasps either side of it. Then, with a might heave, the femme lifts it above her head, turning around to face the continuing chaos.

"If you won't stand down, I'll MAKE YOU!" she shouts, hurling the table with considerable force into the melee, not particularly caring who it might or might not hit. At this point, Chromia is a little bit on the upset side...her plans for wallowing in self-pity for the evening have essentially been ruined, and all because SOMEONE who shall remain nameless decided that the Autobots needed...bar fight training. At this point, hitting someone with a blunt object like, say, a table would feel pretty good.

Combat: Chromia strikes Blurr with her Table Toss O' DOOOOM (Punch) attack!

As the jet gets away, Blurr throws down his pistol in a fit and clenches his fists. "ARGH I HATE THIS!" he shouts furiously...

...just before he's smacked in the face with a table, at which point he's knocked backwards and out. Whoops!

Sandstorm wheels around with his missed punch, seeing Backfire grab the case of goods and start to run off. "HEY HE'S STEALING THE BOO--OOMPH!" And right then is when Markdown plows into him again, sending the Wrecker crashing once more. Fortunately he doesn't land on Arcee, as Markdown hits him with so much momentum that they sail right over her and crash backwards into the side of the bar. "Slagit, I coulda stopped him!"

Now the Wrecker is -really- ticked off. Enough that instead of trying to just knock the other Bot free he picks him up and twists around, and tries to slam him down on top of the bar. Then slide him down the length of it, through any bottles or glasses that may be in the way before finally going off the edge. Because gotta use all the bar fight cliches while we can, of course.

Combat: Sandstorm strikes Markdown with his Bartop Slide (Smash) attack!

.. Doesn't help that Sandstorm slams into the wall himself at the end and stumbles backwards. "Who the hell put a wall there?!"

Mirage manages to claw his way back on to his feet again, visibly sore and distressed. "Y-y-yes, I agree. Listen to reason to Chromia here, folks. She is speaking reason, you all need to get a gri---"

Mirage goes completely silent as he watches in horror as Chromia tosses a table at Blurr. His expression is a mix of being awe struck and the realization of his goals being betrayed by the supposed peacekeeper he was relying on, "NO! What is wrong with you, femme?!" The counter-intelligence specialist finally breaks, emotionally anyways, and slams his fist onto the nearby table.

Combat: Mirage takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Blurr has disconnected.

Markdown goes sliding down the bar, yelling in terror as every bottle and glass smashes into his face, and sometimes even explodes due to the volatile contents. When he reaches the end of the bar, he tumbles over the side and lands with a loud CLONK. Seconds later, Markdown's hand pokes over the bar, slaps down onto its surface, and the portly mech pushes himself up. "I'm... I'm not done with you yet... buddy..."

With great effort, he forces himself all the way to his feet, staggers a few steps towards Sandstorm, transforms, then DRIVES right towards him, intent on going through him, and if that fails, well, he'll go through the wall, probably!

Markdown falls forward onto his arms, his legs fold up into the back section, then his arms collapse into the front section of a powerful General Motors H12 Hummer!

Combat: H12 Hummer &lt;Markdown&gt; misses Sandstorm with his Crushing the Competition attack!

Chromia turns her attention to Mirage,"Listen, if they don't stop of the first shout, then there are only two ways to stop a bunch of drunken idiots; let the wear themselves out, or knock their heads together...and guess which way is the fastest?" she says, anger radiating from her and her words palpably,"Now are you going to sit there whimpering, or are you going to help me get them back in line? This is a disgrace; we can't let them keep fighting," she says, picking up a nearby chair which had somehow avoided the destruction and proceeds towards Markdown and Sandstorm.

When within reach, she raises the chair and swings it in an arc that may or may not catch both.

Combat: Chromia misses H12 Hummer &lt;Markdown&gt; with her Anti-drunk chair swing. (Ruckus) Area attack!

Combat: Chromia misses Sandstorm with her Anti-drunk chair swing. (Ruckus) Area attack!

Kup throws his arms in the air and roars at Breakaway, "You little gear-munching, cockpit-crushing, antennae whapping freak! I'll get that energon back - out of your frakking lines! An' serve it in your slagging head!" Kup is just a wee bit upset, yes.

F-16 Falcon &lt;Backfire&gt; continues on his course, blasting through the swinging doors and off towards his buyer. &lt;&lt;Hahaha, yes I ... BREAKAWAY am solely responsible for your shortcomings and have nothing to do with this Backfire character you might think I am. Even though my head is in the six-pack, but no matter. I ... BREAKAWAY rue this day, RUE!!&gt;&gt;

Annnnnnnnd, he's gone.

Backfire goes home.

Backfire has left.

Impactor has arrived.

Mirage steps back, speechless after listening to Chromia' reasoning. Such an uncivilized request. So barbaric. So--- a glass cup shatters against the side of his head, leaving behind some of its liquid contents to drip down.

So agreeable.

Mirage lifts up his rifle, adjusts the power setting to low, and gives Chromia an affirming nod in acknowledgement, "Oh yes, I agree with your views. I think I might enjoy helping you out." Is that a glint of anger in the corner of Mirage's optics? Maybe! With that said though, the Autobot counter-intelligence specialist turns towards his first target, takes aim and then promptly fires with an absence of any hesistation.

Combat: Mirage strikes Sandstorm with his Electro-Disruptor attack! [Pulled -3]

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Sandstorm's Accuracy. (Blinded)

... There's another downside to drunking transforming robots. Most of them transform into CARS or TRUCKS. Instant DRUNK DRIVING... and INSIDE the bar to boot. When Markdown barrels towards him, Sandstorm does his best stuntman dive-and-roll-off-the-car maneuvere, by sheer luck evading the chair swung at his head by Chromia as well, and thuds on the floor on the other side. He might of landed on his feet had he not been drunk, but in this case, he ends up on his knees instead.

"What the hell dude! This ain't a parking garage!" Pauses in mid rant to look around. "Now where did I leave my drink YEOW!"

The zap from Mirage's disruptor hits him like a taser -- that is to say, it doesn't do a lot of damage but it hurts like bloody hell, enough to drop him back off his feet. Fortunatelly he falls onto a chair, but just sprawls awkwardly there. ".. Okay, I'm done. Booze is gone, nuttin' left fightin' for."

H12 Hummer &lt;Markdown&gt; manages to dodge the chair on account of driving too freaking fast, but he doesn't get off completely free, either--he smashes right through the wall, and apparently keeps driving for a while until a loud screeching noise can be heard, followed by the sound of a vehicle tumbling end over end. After a while, Markdown calls out, "I'm okay! Mostly..."

Impactor studder steps in from the repair station, having safely removed the SMOULDERING FIRE Kup started in him. "Waa, that was a doozy. Took tha bloomin' medic droid half a cycle just ta put it out."

His expression grows void of any emotion, after he witnesses the bar room. Tables scatterd, scorch marks everywhere, a vaporized turbomoose head ... or lack thereof. And the entrance to the saloon completely blasted through in the shape of an F-16.

"Wow. What did I miss?"