How Not To Defeat Your Enemies

California

Covering almost 158,700 square miles, the Golden State contains everything from redwood and sequoia forests in the north, to the fertile Central Valley, to the deserts of the south and east. A land of contrasts, the lush beauty of forested national parks such as Redwood and Yosemite are matched by the harsh beauty of the Death Valley and Joshua Tree national parks. The coast, too, varies from waves dashing themselves at the foot of the rocky cliffs in the north to gentle swells lapping the sandy beaches in Southern California. The state is not only one of the most beautiful, but is also the most populous in the United States, concentrated mostly in major cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco.

One friendly dune buggy is trailing through the sandy beaches of Southern California, a reasonable distance away from San Francisco, and thus from Autobot City. The lack of driver would make it abundantly clear that he's not a normal dune buggy, thus likely marking him as an easy target to any Decepticons in the neighbourhood.

At one point, he stops down near a washed up piece of rock that catches his interests. He looks at it for a while, apparently trying to decide whether or not he should take it with him. Is this break in activity leaving him open to attack?

Maybe!

In a nearby cave inside a rocky cliff, Hound has just finished exploring its depths, having taken painstakingly detailed scans of everything inside. He may not share all of it with the rest of the Autobots, as most of it is pretty useless, but there are a few minor mineral deposits that might be worth noting. At the moment, he's making his way back toward the cave's entrance, treading carefully to avoid disturbing anything more than he needs to. He hasn't yet been made aware of Beachcomber.

Triggerhappy is soaring along the coast, on this way toward the pole where Trypticon is stationed. He intends to catch a shuttle to Charr, for scouting as per Shockwave's instructions. But suddenly an Autobot e-sig pops up on his sensor arrays, apparently on the beach below, likely wasting his time examining Earth materials. Though, this one could be up to something interesting...Probably not. Pfeh, stupid Autobots!

And besides, scouting is boring because it doesn't usually involve shooting! And killing Autobots always involves shooting. And so, he opens fire on Beachcomber's little dune buggy form, peppering the beach with high-energy photons.

Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter  sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter 's Photon-Pulse Guns attack on Dune Buggy goes wild!

Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter  strikes himself with his Photon-Pulse Guns attack! [Pulled -2]

Not terribly far from Triggerhappy's route toward the coastline (at least horizontally) the Decepticon shuttle Despoiler zooms across the stratosphere. The Autobots far below amount to nothing as far as Despoiler's sensors are concerned, however the friendly IFF of the trigger-happy, uh...Triggerhappy is loud and clear upon Outbound's navigational display. "Hmmm, is that a weapons' discharge I am picking up..?" the infantrymech wonders, his pointed fingers quickly moving to dance across the nav console, a beep quickly following the last key stroke. "Photon-pulse... Hmm, could be Autobots...could be a tree."

Considering he just saw a Decepticon fire energy photons and then fail to hit anyone but himself, the Dune Buggy transforms back into robot mode and then goes to take cover behind a particularly large rock that happens to be nearby. "Dude, I'd tell you to stop hitting yourself, but I'm actually kinda fine with it."

<p class="MsoNormal">Behind that cover, he arranged some small things, most notably the small smoke grenade that he improvised earlier today. This one is covered in glue, and he just flings it upward, trying to get it to stick to the triggerhappy decepticon. Oh, and while he does does a radio alert goes out.

<p class="MsoNormal">Dune Buggy transforms into his Beachcomber mode.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber sets his defense level to Protected.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber misses Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> with his Sticky smoke grenade attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Hounds audio receptors pick up sounds of a skirmish going on outside. He's not really sure what it's about, but photon shots are hard to mistake. After a quick radio discussion, he finally reaches the cave's mouth, ducking behind one of the larger rocks to keep himself out of sight. Not far away, he can see Beachcomber doing the same, but another glance around shows that he's pinned down by a flyer.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Hold on, Beach, I just gotta line this up..." he mumbles as he draws his rifle and moves out of cover to get a better view. Tracking the trigger-happy lunatic, he waits until he's got a good bead on him before opening fire. Hopefully, he hasn't been spotted yet.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound sets his defense level to Aggressive.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound strikes Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> with his Turret Gun attack! [Pulled -3]

<p class="MsoNormal">Triggerhappy's weaponsfire flies everywhere, but one of his turrets malfunction and overload, causing a small explosion. Ouch. He'll have to get Buzzkill on that later. He spots Beachcomber's sticky grenade coming toward him, and barrelrolls to avoid it. "Haha! Hey, at least I can hit something, right? Unlike YOU!"

<p class="MsoNormal">But then he is struck by a turret from Hound. It grazes the underside of his fuselage, causing minor damage. But! Another target, hip hip hooray! And he sprays the beach with hot photons again! What fun this is!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> sets his defense level to Fearless.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> misses Beachcomber with his Photon-Pulse Guns (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> strikes Hound with his Photon-Pulse Guns (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Despoiler breaks through the cloud cover, and as the last mass of light gray to marshmallow white bleeds away from the shuttle's foreward viewport the exchange of energy blasts lights up the view. "Good thing I didn't make any bets..." Outbound muses. He'd totally have lost this one--he really thought Triggs was forest firing. Another e-sig pops up onto Despoiler's radar, "Hmm.." and then another. "HMMMM..." The infantrymech's figners dance over the shipboard controls, while simultaneously a touch-screen datacomputer emerges from the subspace compartment upon his left forearm. "Alright, little prep here, a little there..." he says to himself aloud, switching to typing upon the datacomp. "Synchronizing... 3, 2, 1... There."

<p class="MsoNormal">"T'would be quite entertaining to watch you burn again, Lieutenant Triggerhappy!" Outbound calls from the open hatch of the Despoiler, as the shuttle hovers at roughly a hundred and twenty feet. "...But this time there are actually Autobots to frag!" Leaping from the hatch, Decepticon mobile infantry descends in free fall to the surface and Despoiler ascends back into the clouds. Landing in a crouch with one hand planted upon the earth, Outbound lifts his left forearm which whines and clicks as a magazine is loaded into the mech's forearm ballistics launcher. "Two on one..? You Autobots are SUCH a brave lot indeed."

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Outbound strikes Hound with his forearm ballistics launcher (Pistol) attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Having failed to land his grenade, but likewise having failed to be hit, the little beach bot decides to try the whole smoke idea again. Except this time, he's coming out of cover and throwing much, much, much more smoke. Fortunately, he's avoiding the area that has Hound within it, so it probably shouldn't impact Hound too much.

<p class="MsoNormal">This particular variety of smoke fades quickly, except for the parts that stick to the sensors, that fades a little less quickly. Let's hope for the sake of the Decepticons that they have ways to clean up their sensors. Otherwise they might fail to see anything at all.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber sets his defense level to Neutral.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber strikes Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> with his sticky smoke Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: That attack has temporarily limited Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy>'s Accuracy! (Blinded)

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber strikes Outbound with his sticky smoke Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: That attack has temporarily limited Outbound's Accuracy! (Blinded)

<p class="MsoNormal">Oh slag, the Decepticon spotted him. Hound tries to dive for cover, but a photon blast slams into his shoulder, throwing him off-balance and causing him to skid face-first across the sand a ways. Fortunately, it's only minor damage, just a small hole in the armor and some smoke. He can still move that arm, at least. Unfortunately, it's also then that another Decepticon decides to join the fray, a couple ballistic rounds putting some more dents in the scout's armor.

<p class="MsoNormal">But there goes Beachcomber, coming to the rescue with his smoke bombs! "Thanks, Beach! I owe you one!" he calls to his ally with a thumbs up, then looks back up toward Triggerhappy, flying through the sky and being very hard to reach. That'll have to change. Snapping up his rifle again, Hound this time tries to get a lock on the jet's thrusters, firing a couple of shots to try to take them out and force him to the ground.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound strikes Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> with his Get down from there! (Disruptor) attack!

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound says, "Oh come on now... Whatever happened to good old 'entertainment?' Argh! *hacking cough* Slagging Autobots... This is what I get for reviewing messges mid-battle. Pardon me!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "Don't be discouraged. Entertainment may still be provided when he is punished. Besides, Galvatron may decide he wants a trial after all. But unless he overrides me, there will not be one."

<p class="MsoNormal">Beachcomber's grenades finally find purchase as he comes out of cover, and especially since this time Triggerhappy had been busy with Hound. However, the Targetmaster is undaunted by this, in fact, the smoke jamming up his optic sensors just gives him more reason to keep firing wildly in all directions!

<p class="MsoNormal">But something hits him in the rear thrusters, taking out of one of his engines and sending him spiraling out of control and down toward the sand-covered beach. Still, that doesn't stop the pulse guns.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> strikes Hound with his Never stop never stop! (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> strikes Outbound with his Never stop never stop! (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> strikes Beachcomber with his Never stop never stop! (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Outbound grins fiendishly as his ballistics strike home upon their target, and he straightens to stand tall while the magazine within his forearm loads several more rounds. "Now that I have gotten your atten- hello..?" Huh, looks like Hound was ignoring him... "Fine then, I'll just check this message if that's how things are," the infantrymech drones, and then looks to his datacomputer as is unfolds from his forearm. "What? No trial? Come on Cyclonus..." The preoccupation with the goings on of the Decepticon Empire far from the battlefield serves as the perfect opportunity for Beachcomber's smoke bombs to effortlessly engulf the Decepticon, sending him into a revolting fit. "Hack, hack, haaack!" Anybody got a hankey?

<p class="MsoNormal">WHAM

<p class="MsoNormal">Outbound stumbles forward and lands face down on the ground... "Who the oily slag hit me from behind?" he wonders, optics flashing before glancing back to spot none other than the quickly spiraling out of control member of the Decepticon Aerospace division. "Oh...how I hate you," he seethes. "YOU CAN LET GO OF THE BLOODY TRIGGER NOW!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Leaping into the air Outbuond transforms, and a quick strafe to port follows as he lets loose, while trying to escape repiratory hell.

<p class="MsoNormal">Hiss, pop, whirr, grind, snap, click- HOVERTANK-23!

<p class="MsoNormal">Decepticon Tetrajet <Viator> roars onto the scene, the arrival of a member of the Imperial Air Strike Elite sending the beached natives fleeing in...Fear! Somewhere, the faceless jet scowls at the fight going on below...

<p class="MsoNormal">"What is this...A battle, on my delivery route?!" The tetrajet begins circling, and clicks his radio on. <<You fools! Commander Shockwave will be furious hwne he learns my assistance was not requested in this skirmish!>>

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: HOVERTANK-23 <Outbound> strikes Hound with his turret mounted laser lance (Laser) attack!

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound says, "Is it too much to ask for someone of rank to inform Lieutenant Triggerhappy that Decepticons are considered FRIENDLIES..?"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> Viator says, "It serves you right that your tactical blunders are causing you harm when you were foolish enough not to summon me to the battle IMMEDIATELY! Blasted overconfident youths!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound says, "If I did not abhor suicide, I swear..."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> Aerospace Lt. Triggerhappy says, "Hey, he threw that smoke grenade in my face!"

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> Aerospace Lt. Triggerhappy says, "I wasn't -trying- to hit you this time, at least! Get over it."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound says, "Just...shoot them. THEM.. Lieutenant."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> Aerospace Lt. Triggerhappy says, "Actually I -did-."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound says, "...Only."

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> Aerospace Lt. Triggerhappy says, "Also, I don't let go of the trigger. Not while I'm shooting."

<p class="MsoNormal">Being shot hurts, and then there's another Decepticon appearing, and Beach heads right back to hiding behind his big rock. But he doesn't do so uselessly. Since Triggerhappy seems to be the least of the current threats, the minibot turns into back into his buggy mode and from a protected perspective tries to give Hound some intelligence on Outbound.

<p class="MsoNormal">And he kinda sighs in relief when he hears backup is coming. Backup coming is looking great right now, though he can't help but say. "What did you say about outnumbering and courage, man?" Hey, it's a fair criticism, right?

<p class="MsoNormal">Beachcomber transforms into his Dune Buggy mode.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Dune Buggy sets his defense level to Protected.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber analyzes Outbound for weaknesses Hound can exploit.

<p class="MsoNormal">Hound is pelted despite the smoke, shots coming in from two directions at once. He does his best to block most of the damage with his arms, but his armor is quickly wearing down at this rate. He'll have to find cover, or he's done for! Running for the rocks Beachcomber was hiding behind earlier, he jumps behind them and keeps himself as low as he can, taking a moment to gather his thoughts and run a systems check.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Alright, got some dings and some holes, and I'm gonna pretend I didn't just see that ruptured fuel line. Let's see, plans, plans, plans..." he mutters frantically, running his options through his head. He hardly even notices Beachcomber ducking down next to him, at least until he receives that intelligence. "Huh? Oh, I see. Now, if I can just..."

<p class="MsoNormal">Standing up and turning to face the Decepticons, particularly Outbound, the Autobot scout snaps off a missile as soon as he's got something approaching a lock on a weak spot in his target's armor. Then, he's right back to ducking behind those rocks and waiting for backup. He may be courageous, but he's not stupid.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound sets his defense level to Protected.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound misses HOVERTANK-23 <Outbound> with his Missile Snapshot attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">ZOT! A laser blast rips towards Viator! What kind of horrendously powerful weapon was that, and who shot it?! Oh, wait, it's just Repugnus and his Venom Laser, firing from behind a tree. "HEY!" Repugnus yells. "SEEKERS SUCK!" After firing, he leers at Hound creepily.

<p class="MsoNormal">The creature spins and twists about into Repugnus's robot mode!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Repugnus strikes Decepticon Tetrajet <Viator> with his Laser attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Decepticon Tetrajet <Viator> takes careful aim at Hound, prepares to fire... "Now Autobot... Know that you die at the hands of VIATOR, first of the Empire's airborn and last to BLARGHLE!" Lasers. Sneak attack lasers. Viator is blasted into a flatspin and crashes into a sand dune, buried. He transforms, legs sticking out. "MM HRR HRR HRR?!" He screams, completely muffled.

<p class="MsoNormal">Viator transforms into his robot mode and gets everyone off of his lawn.

<p class="MsoNormal">Surprisingly, no one shoots at Triggerhappy as he is falling to the ground. Which is a good thing, of course. But the jet's downward trajectory would have him headed straight toward Beachcomber, and if the geologist doesn't get out of the way, in time, he's going to have a pile of Triggerhappy on top of him! And Blowpipe, but he's tiny.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> strikes Dune Buggy with his Look out belooooooooooooooow! (Smash) attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Thank Straxus for the hovertank's ability to strafe! If Outbound was a betting mech (which we all know he is, it’s been stated before) he'd have put good ener-doh on that missile being one devastating attack! The explosion that erupts several meters off beside him causes his entire chassis to shudder despite it's kack of accuracy. <<Well, well... If it isn't Repugnus, my 'Friend'>> OB sends via tightbeam to the Monsterbot alone. <<You will have to excuse my absence at the last rendezvous... Too little time and too many prying optics would not permit my departure.>>

<p class="MsoNormal">Watching Triggerhappy's face first attack on the Dune Buggy actually draws a bit of respect from the mobile infantrymech, and Outbound cannot help but chuckle. "Alright then..." Still, Outbound had Hound to deal with. Missiles were nobody's friend, and if the Bot was really trying to play with fire of such magnitude the least Outbound could do was make him pay for it as he changed course and made out directly toward the Missile Lobber's position!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: HOVERTANK-23 <Outbound> strikes Hound with his occult foreward mounted ballistics (Pistol) attack!

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound chuckles, "Way to use your head, Lieutenant...

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Viator takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

<p class="MsoNormal">Covered in Triggerhappy. Augh. Bad day. Bad day. It's like a bad hair day for autobots. On the upside, the little Beachcomber does have perfect view of Triggerhappy here, and he's more than willing to use that view to his advantage, and well... pass it on to someone better suited to use that view.

<p class="MsoNormal">From this close, he sends the data he has to Hound, since Repugnus seems occupied with the other new arrival. It's better than doing nothing, so it's the best he can do given the circumstances...

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber analyzes Triggerhappy for weaknesses Hound can exploit.

<p class="MsoNormal">Repugnus transforms and happily lopes after to the fallen Tetrajet, claws snapping out, grinning hideously. "Heehee, oh, which one are you... so many Seekers... so many of them victims!... hm... oh, right! You're the one who's OLD. Well, we all gotta die some time!" He tries to sink his claws into the Seeker's fuselage as deep as they will go.

<p class="MsoNormal">While he does that, he tightbeams back to Outbound, <<Ohhh! Outbound! I thought I recognized you. Well! Little pro-tip--discussing treason over the radio, even encrypted, is *really* risky. You heard of Soundwave, right? He specializes in cracking this stuff. Not that I care. If you go home to a firing squad, it's no skin off MY hide. But if you care, then like, make a data chip, magnetize it, and slap it onto me when you're fighting me or something.>>

<p class="MsoNormal">Repugnus twists and flips around into his horrific creature mode!

<p class="MsoNormal">Backup has arrived! Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the Decepticons from continuing to try to pound Hound and Beachcomber into the dust. When the jet crashes into his more laidback ally, Hound tries to pull it off. Problem is, this takes him out of that precious, precious cover, and he ends up eating a bullet to the back of the head. Thankfully, the the angle of the shot combined with a lot of other lucky factors results in the scout's head remaining intact. On the other hand...

<p class="MsoNormal">"ARGH! My optics!" Hound shouts, his vision knocked for a loop by that shot. Everything's fuzzy and hard to make out, and as he swings his rifle around in search of enemies, he can't quite tell where to shoot. That's when Beachcomber, once again, comes to the rescue by feeding him visual data. While it's still tricky, Hound is able to use that to turn toward Triggerhappy and approximate where to send his metal boot to kick the 'Con off his pal.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Bug Creature <Repugnus> strikes Viator with his Shearing Claws attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound sets his defense level to Neutral.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound strikes Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> with his Half-Blind Punt (Kick) attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFF!" Viator screams as Repugnus digs into him, kicking his feet in protest. "NRRRRRRRFFFFFFFMMMMRRRRRRHRRRRRRRRRRRRRM!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Strong words.

<p class="MsoNormal">The elderly mech reaches back through vorns of combat experience, putting together every bit of what he's learned in the war for dealing with crisis situations...And he starts shooting. Standard issue Seeker lasers open fire! DIE SAND DUNE. And maybe Repugnus.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Viator strikes Bug Creature <Repugnus> with his Full-Auto attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Triggerhappy is punted off of Beachcomber, and pretty hard at that. He is sent smashing into an outer wall of that cave Hound had been exploring earlier. Some boulders fall down onto him. "Ughh.." he groans. This Targetmaster can't seem to be able to go more than a megacycle without going and getting himself slagged. He'd been partially digested by a giant snake monster just early this decacycle, and then he'd gotten beaten up by Resistance members in that factory before actually getting proper repairs.

<p class="MsoNormal">And now he had to have gone and started a fight with the Autobots while he'd been on his way to a scouting mission on Charr. Shockwave probably won't be too happy, but the logician would have had to expect this kind of behavior from the trigger-happy Decepticon. He transforms, standing up and pushing the rocks away before leveling his binary bond parter Blowpipe at Beachcomber. It's surprising how much damage air can do when it's moving incredibly fast!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> strikes Dune Buggy with his Compressed-Air Cannon attack!

<p class="MsoNormal"><<...Erm, die you dirty Autobot! Yes... DIE...>> Whatever! It's highly doubtful that anyone is paying attention to this particular tightbeam exchange anyway. Then again even if they were would it really matter? The answer to that on the next episode of...BEAST WARS! RAARRRGH! Just kidding. Outbound drives forward, continuing on his way toward Hound as if to run the Autobot down, but before what looks like an inevitible hit and run the Hovertank simply speeds right by the Bot. "Oops! Missed 'im!" Outbound calls out, but what's that on the horizon? None other than Repugnus!

<p class="MsoNormal">A hilly patch of sand that was likely a family's attempt at a sand castle at some point in the past forty-eight earth hours happens to act as the perfect jump-off that sends the Hovertank flying into the air. Mid-air Transformations, even when attached to movies made by Michael Bay (cough) are always supremelly badaft, and this one is no exception as Outbound shifts forms, spins like a drill, and attempt to (harmlessly) tackle the living slag out of Repugnus while discertely retrieving a tiny datachip from a subspace port within his left middle finger in the process.

<p class="MsoNormal">Hiss, pop, whirr, grind, snap, click- OUTBOUND!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Outbound strikes Bug Creature <Repugnus> with his Grab attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Now Hounds optics are starting to repair themselves, and things are getting more defined. It's still blurry and staticking out every few seconds, but it's better than it was before. At least he can /kind of/ see again, and the first thing he sees is a Decepticon hovertank speeding toward him. "Whoa! Learn to drive, buddy!" he yells at Outbound as he jumps out of the way.

<p class="MsoNormal">Now, here he could either fire at the tank and try to take it out, or he could help Beachcomber against that whackjob. It's not exactly a tough decision, as Repugnus at least has weapons to defend himself. "Hey, the nutcase with the guns! Why don't you try taking on someone who can fight back?" he taunts Triggerhappy, projecting a hologram of himself and sending it off to the side. If the 'Con is paying attention, the greater number of targets should convince him to start firing at the Hounds instead.

<p class="MsoNormal">Hopefully.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound strikes Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> with his Hologram attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">No longer covered in Decepticon, the tiny hippy decides to light up a joint, or well not really, but it's gonna cause some smoking action anyway. Taking into account the position of Hound and Repugnus, the small bot has returned to his more robotic state, and is carefully moving around to do what he needs to do.

<p class="MsoNormal">It smells bad, and it clogs up all sensors, so even though it doesn't last long, it's still gonna be annoying to those who get a lot of the stuff in their sensors. "Man, I don't think this is the right thing to do. It's ruining this lovely beach." To his credit, he's still fighting... in his way, anyway.

<p class="MsoNormal">Dune Buggy transforms into his Beachcomber mode.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber sets his defense level to Guarded.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber strikes Viator with his Suspicious-Smelling Smoke Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: That attack has temporarily limited Viator's Accuracy! (Blinded)

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber strikes Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> with his Suspicious-Smelling Smoke Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: That attack has temporarily limited Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy>'s Accuracy! (Blinded)

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber strikes Outbound with his Suspicious-Smelling Smoke Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: That attack has temporarily limited Outbound's Accuracy! (Blinded)

<p class="MsoNormal">Bug Creature <Repugnus> takes the hit from Viator, transforms, and punches Viator as he delivers an equally intimidating scream! "DEEEERRRRRRRP!" Then he is tackled. Ow. (But not really)

<p class="MsoNormal">The creature spins and twists about into Repugnus's robot mode!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Repugnus strikes Viator with his Punch attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Viator climbs out of the sand, shaking his fists in triumph. "Foolish earth construct, you can not hold ViatFLARP." Viator completely glassjaws from Repugnus' punch and hits the ground, optics flickering. After a moment, he manages to pick himself up, glowering at Repugnus, energy sword crackling to life.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Erf ner, Erterbert, yer sherll der."

<p class="MsoNormal">Also most of his jaw is hanging off of his face.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Viator takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

<p class="MsoNormal">Viator also can't see anything because smoke. But to be honest, this isn't a big change for him.

<p class="MsoNormal">Smoke! And holograms! They're all over the place, making it impossible to see straight. So what else is a Decepticon like Triggerhappy to do but again fire randomly in all directions? If anything this gives him a good excuse to do so, so believe it or not he's actually happy about this vision-impairing development. He holds down the trigger on his blaster, letting loose with high-energy photons all over the beach once again. Both friend and foe better look out.

<p class="MsoNormal">Slag, Outbound is really going to hate him, now. Oh well, at least he has even more targets to hit, now, and that's always more fun!

<p class="MsoNormal">Triggerhappy reverts to his root form.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy's Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything attack on Repugnus goes wild!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy strikes Outbound with his Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy's Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything attack on Viator goes wild!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy strikes Outbound with his Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy's Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything attack on Outbound goes wild!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy strikes himself with his Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: You have foolishly damaged your own Firepower!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy's Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything attack on Beachcomber goes wild!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy strikes Outbound with his Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy's Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything attack on Hound goes wild!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Triggerhappy strikes himself with his Another Good Excuse To Shoot At Everything (Full-Auto) Area attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Yeah! Clash of the Titans! Or not so much given that it's all for show... "Dirty Autobot, I'm going to tear off your slaggin' head and feed it to the hyooman deity Bugs Bunny from the Looney Toon dimension!" Outbound snarls as he wrastles with the monsterbot. "A laughable fate it will be for you! Spending ages of torment in an inescapable realm where it is constantly and forever 'Repugnus Season'!" For a brief instant Outbound stops his fake struggle... Was that too much? Nah. "Forghorn Leghorn will feast upon your servos! Marvin the Martian will disentigrate your circuits!" And this year's Academy Award for best actor in a Giant Fighting Robot series goes to...

<p class="MsoNormal">Well, it will be Outbound for certain if there's anything left of him to accept the prize. In a word... Kaboom. If Triggerhappy wasn't already one of Outbound's favorite Decepticons to absolutely hate the rain of fire that the Aerospace Lieutenant sends his way was sure to tip the scales into his favor. "Aaaaiiiieee-youuuu-idjit!"

<p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Explosions abound, and Outbound is sent flying head over heels, heels over head, head over and under heels and arms and legs and frag it who knows anymore! THUMP! That's the sound of Outbound hitting the sand, which explodes upward in a massive dust cloud. Hey... At least all of that damage managed to fry that audio chip that dastardly sneaky Autobot Blurr had planted on him.

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound says, "Am...going to...killll...youuu..."

<p class="MsoNormal">Repugnus grunts as he wrestles with Outbound. "What--" he mutters as the Decepticon wrestles with him. He tries to keep up the show but he looks decidedly displeased by Outbound's performance. <<Your acting is terrible. Seriously, dude.>> he tightbeams, and seems almost relieved as Outbound is blasted off of him. "Ugh." And he rises up to see Viator rambling at him with a dislocated jaw. Well, dislocated or displaced.

<p class="MsoNormal">This amuses Repugnus, and he just listens to the Decepticon rambling at him, giggling. Finally, he says something back to him. "Herb a derb derb a derb herb derb derb! Heeheehee!" Then he kicks the old man in the knee. :(

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Repugnus strikes Viator with his Kick attack!

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Viator falls to the ground, unconscious.

<p class="MsoNormal">Beachcomber's smoke obscures the area, but Hound is far enough away that it doesn't gunk up his sensors more than they already are. "Alright, Beach! That's great, keep it up!" he encourages his ally, but then Triggerhappy starts firing /everywhere/, photon bolts flying out of the smoke one after another and slamming into sand, rocks, water, everything! Hound wisely drops to the ground, a couple of shots sailing through the air where his chest was just a moment ago.

<p class="MsoNormal">"Whoa, that was close!" he comments, his hologram having fizzled out from the sudden distraction. That 'Con is gonna have to be stopped, before he does some /real/ damage. Carefully watching the angle of the shots, he calculates the possible sources and adjusts his aim, little by little, until his rifle is pointed where he's sure Trigger is. He opens fire, once, twice, three times, hoping any of those shots will hit and knock the crazy 'bot out.

<p class="MsoNormal">And of course he can't help but quip, "Hey, thanks for helping! Next time, though, why don't you learn how to aim?"

<p class="MsoNormal">With the fight going on like this, and one Decepticon down, Beachboy might be feeling a little more comfortable. "Hey man. I don't mind you attacking eachother, but like aren't you supposed to shoot us?" That said, Triggerhappy seems more of an asset than a thread like now, and so the dune buggy 'hides' behind a rock again.

<p class="MsoNormal">Yes he's also become a buggy again. This time, he tries to share his intel with Repugnus, looking around to find valuable things to abuse.

<p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Beachcomber transforms into his Dune Buggy mode.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Dune Buggy sets his defense level to Protected.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber analyzes Outbound for weaknesses Repugnus can exploit.

<p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound strikes Triggerhappy with his Calculated Shots attack!

<p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound says, "Lieutenant... Can you try covering me without slagging me?"

<p class="MsoNormal">Viator charges at Repugnus, swinging his deadly enerblade... And then he's down again, kneecap exploding with the same drama of Magnus being drawn and quartered by Sweeps. DOMINO EFFECT: The knee circuit is connected to the hip circuit. His hip also shatters. And then his lasercore hiccups. And then he's out.

<p class="MsoNormal"><<Do you see what I was talking about now, Repugnus...?>> Outbound tightbeams to the Monsterbot, and then grumbles to himself as he manages to wiggle and claw at the sand just enough to make his way to freedom. GASP! Air, sweet beautiful air! Not that he needed to breathe, but hey... His acting is good, darnit! << I thought my delivery was excellent by the way. Jealousy of another mech's acting skills is unbecoming, Sir. In any case- it has been...fun.>> <p class="MsoNormal">Turning quickly to find his way to the Old Mech, Outbound is quick to run to Viator. If anyone thought that he would be grabbing his comrade and slinging him over a shoulder to heroically escape with the aged warrior in tow one truly does not know Outbound. No! Instead he leaps into the air and vaults off of Viator's fallen chassis to gain just a bit more height before his antigravs do the rest of the work. Tap-tappity-tap go the infantrymech's fingers across the touch-screen of his trusty datacomputer and Despoiler descends from the clouds to hover in the exact spot from which he'd disembarked with open hatch waiting for the not so triumphant return of her pilot. <p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound says, "On second thought... Have fun." <p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Outbound begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Dune Buggy <p class="MsoNormal">Triggerhappy's shots go everywhere. Literally everywhere but at the actual Autobots that he's supposed to be shooting at. Not that he really cares. He probably wouldn't even know if Outbound hadn't shouted at him. He is fragged up pretty badly by now, especially since Hound just shot him again. He's also running low on energon... <p class="MsoNormal">But he's not quite ready to retreat. Retreating isn't usually something he does, unless he's ordered to do so by Shockwave or some other superior officer. He'd love to open fire again, but even his energon reserves have been depleted by now so he resorts to transforming back into his jet form and flying right at Hound! <p class="MsoNormal">Triggerhappy transforms into a blue and white Cybertronian aircraft. <p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> strikes Hound with his One last thing... (Ram) attack! <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal"><<Yeah, that knee came apart like a twig,>> Repugnus replies to Outbound. <<But whatever. Smell you later. Actually, I will smell you later. From miles away. Because that's what I do.>> His expression brightens as data fills his field of view. Turning towards Triggerhappy, he sees critical areas of his body lighting up, inviting attack. He considers transforming and stabbing Triggerhappy in such a spot, but frowns grumpily as the Targetmaster zooms away from him. <p class="MsoNormal">"Dammit, hold still!" He leaps after the Targetmaster, trying to pin the jet down and twist his wings about the wrong way. <p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Repugnus strikes Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> with his Dirty Fighting attack! <p class="MsoNormal">Well the buggy could get a parting shot on Outbound, but that wouldn't be cool. So instead it settles for analyzing the Jet as it flies, trying to get any weaknesses right to Hound to abuse. "Here you go, dude." And then he starts to move away a bit, hoping the fight is just about over. ... now where did he leave that rock? <p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Beachcomber analyzes Triggerhappy for weaknesses Hound can exploit. <p class="MsoNormal">Hound gets up once the photon shots finally stop, but it turns out that Triggerhappy is still up and able to fight. "Slag!" the scout curses as the Decepticon jet crashes into him, bowling him over and sending him tumbling into the surf. With groaning servos, he pushes himself back up in time to see Repugnus pouncing on the gun-crazy 'Con. He's about to raise his rifle, but it's then that he sees it laying a good fifty feet away, half-buried in the sand. <p class="MsoNormal">"Repugnus, get away from him!" he shouts a warning, using the info sent to him by Beachcomber to target one of Triggerhappy's damaged wings. And then, with a FOOMP sort of noise, he fires another missile. "Let's see you fly away from /this/!" <p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound sets his defense level to Fearless. <p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Hound strikes Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> with his MISSILE attack! <p class="MsoNormal">Combat: Cybertronian Turbo-Thrust Jet Fighter <Triggerhappy> falls to the ground, unconscious. <p class="MsoNormal">Triggerhappy doesn't really care what happens to him. Naturally, otherwise he would have retreated by now. He laughs maniacally as he slams into Hound, sending him tumbling. But then the Autobot launches a missile at him, and since he's already so close, it isn't difficult for the projectile to find purchase. It strikes him in that damaged wing, sending him crashing into the shallow waters just off the coastline in a ball of flame and smoke. <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">Yup, looks like the Targetmaster is down for the count. <p class="MsoNormal">Looking around for his rock, eventually the poor, poor dune buggy finds it. Or well, what's left of it. Triggerhappy's random firing did more than hit his allies, it shattered the rock Beachcomber was hoping to take with him. The poor Minibot is all disappointed by this turn of events. <p class="MsoNormal">Repugnus briefly flashes Hound an annoyed look, thinking this is yet another instance of an Autobot telling him to go easy on the Decepticons, but when he sees Hound firing the missile, he's all too keen to hop off of Triggerhappy! "Woah--" And he's off just in time before the missile goes off, rolling away, then standing up with a smirk. "Well, all in a day's work. Hm. But maybe I can add one final touch." <p class="MsoNormal"><<Outbound,>> Repugnus transmits to the 'con in question. <<You wanna prove you're serious? Abandon these jokers. Say they died in battle. It'll be true enough.>> <p class="MsoNormal"><<What do you think I'm doing? These two mean nothing to me... They're just junk for the slag-heap. You'll be hearing from me soon.>> Outbound isn't sticking around, no Sir! He's leaving, and the proof is in the pudding. Into the bowels of Despoiler the infantrymech goes, and the boarding hatch slams shut and locks behind him. Next step, the cockpit, and from there? Wait... Where'd Despoiler go? <p class="MsoNormal">PEACE! <p class="MsoNormal"><Decepticon> LOOK Outbound says, "Lieutenant Triggerhappy and the Old Mech Viator are down. I am leaving the area on Despoiler... If their lives are worth scrap then I advise a show of force to send the Bots packing." <p class="MsoNormal">Repugnus wipes the dust off his hands. "Welp. Just one thing left to do. Kill the survivors. Beachcomber, get me another rock, would you? Something nice and heavy." <p class="MsoNormal">Beachcomber doesn't appear to have heard Repugnus. <p class="MsoNormal">Hound is likewise ignoring Repugnus. <p class="MsoNormal">Repugnus pouts. "Fine. I'll just kill them myself." And he stands over Viator, raising a boot over his head, BUT THEN <p class="MsoNormal">Viator is down on the ground looking like a hot mess... Well, more like a broken shell of a mech that probably should've been put out of his misery long ago, but due to advances in medical technology, Medicare and Medicaid is still alive for the time being. His knee is shattered and he's certainly seen better days--too badly damaged to even make any snide comments about 'you kids these days' and 'pull up yer damn pants!' or even 'back in MY day'... <p class="MsoNormal">Triggerhappy doesn't look much better...just younger perhaps, and possibly even more badly damaged. Where Viator's knee was in terrible shape, Triggs' BODY looks that way. Not a happy day for these Cons! <p class="MsoNormal"> <p class="MsoNormal">"Geez, that's really pathetic. Was Repugnus just stalking them or something?" Needlenose asks as he adjusts his ultra-high powered binoculars from half a State away. The Targetmaster and his double trouble buddies are huddled behind a rather large rock in the south-eastern part of California. "Should, like, we rescue them?" Sunbeam asks. "Meh." says Zigzag. Needlenose thinks about and finally sighs, "Alright, we'll rescue them, but only because life would be meaningless without Triggerhappy around to annihilate his own buddies every so often." <p class="MsoNormal">That was not long ago. Now... <p class="MsoNormal">The F-15 storms in from the east, firing proton missiles in a seemingly random fashion. "OBJECTION MOTHERF---ERS!" Needlenose screams. He launches another flurry of missiles, many of whom hit the beach and kick up a huge amount of sand into the air, obscuring the battlefield. It's wild and chaotic!... <p class="MsoNormal">...and perfect for Sunbeam and Zigzag to sneak in with hover-pushcarts, running as fast as their adorable little Nebu-legs can carry them. Zigzag looks terrified that Repugnus is going to see them, but heroically manages to refrain from peeing himself. Sunbeam seems fine, but this is because he is high. <p class="MsoNormal">Robots in disguise! Needlenose transforms into his F-16XL Jet Fighter mode! <p class="MsoNormal">"Triggerhappy, if you can hear me," Needlenose mutters even as he wastes all of his missiles, "You better not accidentally shoot me in the back the next time we go into combat together." Sunbeam and Zigzag, having gathered up Viator and Triggerhappy, begin pushing them away to freedom. How Needlenose is actually going to carry those two home is a hilarious question that we're not going to answer. <p class="MsoNormal">Triggerhappy is definitely stasis-locked and therefore cannot hear Needlenose, but if he could, he'd say that he couldn't make any promises. <p class="MsoNormal">Hound, miraculously, was just outside of the missiles's range, his back turned to the random devastation going on behind him. He sighs, or the rough audial equivalent of such, and turns around to see the Decepticons scurrying off and the beach in ruins. "Guess I gotta clean this up before I head back." <pre style="white-space: pre-wrap;">

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==================== Decepticon ================================= Message: 2/131                    Posted        Author Triggerhappy & Viator             Mon Feb 11    Needlenose --

Needlenose!

"I had to rescue the battered near-corpses of Triggerhappy and Viator from Hound, Repugnus, and, uh, Beachcomber from a battle site along the Californian coast. No, I don't know what happened. No, I don't care. I dumped them both in the medical bay. I didn't see Blowpipe so he might be dead. Needlenose out."

No Needlenose!

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==================== Decepticon ================================= Message: 2/132                    Posted        Author AAR: Southern California          Mon Feb 11    Triggerhappy --       A report from Aerospace, written by Blowpipe.

Triggerhappy and I were on our way to Trypticon to rendevous with a scouting party headed for Charr, but we picked up on a couple of Autobots wasting their time on a beach near the coast, and he decided to attack them, naturally. We were outnumbered, but Viator and Outbound arrived and lent us backup. Repugnus provided the same for the Autobots.

At any rate, they slagged us, and Outbound retreated in his ship without retrieving Viator and Triggerhappy once they were both down. However, Needlenose took care of that job for him--his efforts are greatly appreciated. Shockwave--expect Triggerhappy to arrive belatedly on Charr for the scouting parties, and if not late; then in terrible physical condition. Blowpipe, out.

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==================== Decepticon ================================= Message: 2/133                    Posted        Author Recomendation. Mon Feb 11   Outbound --
 * Decepticon Spinny*

Outbound's countenance dominates the screen. He looks kinda pissed...yeah, no that's definitely PO'ed.

"Requesting...that Triggerhappy's sights be thoroughly examined. At the current time he is more dangerous to the Decepticons than Rodimus Prime."

Outbound is still here, just staring blankly at the screen until- yep he's about to add something.

"...I also recommend a labotomy."


 * Decepticon Spinny*

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