Dinoball

Death Valley

An important source of borax in the late 19th century, the fantastic moonscape of Death Valley was designated a national park in 1994. Here at the lowest point in the Americas, air temperatures can reach 134 degrees, ground temperatures up to 165. However, the desert has been conquered by tourism. Interspersed between the magnificent sand dunes, bleak mountains, and native plant and wildlife are campgrounds with shade trees and drinking water, motels, and even a resort complex. Tourists enjoy the sights from the comfort of air-conditioned four-wheel vans. With the increase in the availability of once-scarce water, there was a population explosion in local wildlife such as bighorn sheep, burros, rats, and squirrels, drawing in bobcats, foxes, and even mountain lions.

Contents:

Rampage

Grimlock

Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Factory

Coffin Peak Substation

Obvious exits: Fly &lt;Up&gt; leads to Skies above the Western United States. Out &lt;O&gt; leads to California.

Backfire has arrived.

Elita One has arrived.

Dinoball is not a real sport. There's no governing committee, no rulebook, not even so much as a generally accepted rules of play. It certainly is not on any Space-Olympic schedule, to say the least, not even as an exhibtition match. Despite this, there are a couple of noteworthy facts: 1) Grimlock is very, very loud. And 2) As a non-olympic sport, this means it's not subject to the various broadcast-exclusive rights previously negotiated by the olympic sponsors. And so, Grimlock stands in a hellish stretch of Death Valley, tossing a heavy-looking metal ball in one hand as various reporters and cameramen set up shop to get a good look at the 'playing field.'

Who needs rules?

Certainly not Rampage!

Representing the Predacons at the Olympics, because Primus knows where the others are, the Tiger gets ready to face off against Grimlock. "We're going to win, cuz Grimlock don't know nuthin!"

Rampage collapses down into his Tiger mode.

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; choppers through the air, wondering why he is doing something is doubtless going to be DUMB. Oh right, because he's a glutton for punishment.

Elita One has always been game for these things, at least since she returned to the fold from the long, hard vigilance on Cybertron. She's played against Grimlock before, once at least, in a soccer match, that very nearly ended up with her getting her tail kicked. She liked the Dinobot leader for the most part. Grimlock was a valiant, and punishing warrior, he stood up against Devestator on Iacon not long ago, and frankly anytime he wore a bow tie just seemed...sophisticated. Elita regards the valley, "I'm going to guess that there's no rules, no winning zone, no ball and that this is just a fight waiting to happen." She muses to herself in thought, what would life had been like for her if she was one of them.... She decided she'd be enjoying herself in general.

Starfighter &lt;Cyclonus&gt; soars in from above landing in the 'field.' Why is he stooping to playing Dinoball? Because he heard Elita One was here. "Damn Autobots! Damn FEMALE Autobots! Yes, Elita One, it is your fault that I lost! You've got a bag of dirty tricks, but they'd never be the equal of a DECEPTICON'S bag of dirty tricks, that is why YOU failed! But now, I shall have my revenge in this contest of..." He gives Grimlock a quizzical look. "...er, what exactly are we playing, again?"

The space fighter's nosecone snaps back as its body flips upright. Arms and legs unfold from the wings and fuselage respectively, and a dour face emerges from the body, forming the robot mode of Cyclonus!

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; snarks, "We're playing, 'Someone hasn't read the manual,' bunny ears."

Cyclonus scoffs, hands on his hips. "Oh, like the Dinobot actually bothered to write one? *Please.* I'd be shocked to learn that he CAN write!"

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; leers, "He can write, all right... in Decepticon fuel. Splattered all up on a shattered Decepticon base."

Cyclonus scoooowwwwwls.

Grimlock watches the gathered robots, and gives a 'hmmm-' at which point he idly tosses the volkswagon-sized ball in one massive hand. "WRONG." he tells Elita One. "Dinoball have ball! Otherwise it just be 'dino' which am pretty great but not good for television." He nods. "Also, there am rules. Rules am what me Grimlock say. 'cuz me have whistle and that how sports work." he holds up a TF-sized coach's whistle with his other hand, and then drapes it around his neck. Then, a deadpan look at Cyclonus. "Hnf. Me Grimlock smarter than you think." he rumbles. "Now, me Grimlock say is DINOBALL TIME!" and with that, Grimlock rears back and HURLS the heavy metal ball across the field- it whips past Cyclonus, and hurtles right at Rampage! "DINOBALL GAME START NOW GO TIME!" Grimlock bellows, and the game is begun! Sort of.

Combat: Grimlock misses Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; with his GAME TIME (Grab) attack!

A game based on rules being made up on a whim? Are you sure this isn't called Backfireball??

The seeker is present among the rank and file, currenlty going over his glue gun rifle's newest applications. "Yeah, FEMALE Autobots are the worst!" he adds to the Unicronian's rant. "I prefer MALE Autobots." he adds.

Elita One regards Cyclonus with crossed arms. He was a dangerous foe, maybe not Grimlock's equal, but then again perhaps so. She raises a hand dismissively, "I'll give credit where it was due, your Con team did a good job of cooperation, if you had a lick of it in your entire system, maybe we would've been victors." She picks up a handfull of dirt, crushing it in her hand as she speaks to Cyclonus, "Still, I did lose, and you did survive...a while longer as I understand. Considering however...that this is Dino Ball....and you did lose as well, you may want to actually clean up between events. You're practically coated in grime and dust..." Cyclonus is of course perfectly clean, until Elita dirtclods him...

Combat: Elita One misses Cyclonus with her Here's dirt in your eye! (Grab) attack!

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; is enough of a troll that he decides he's just going to make up his own rules for as long as Grimlock lets him get away with it. He has a gigglefit at Backfire's declaration, nearly rolling over in the air. Blades tries to blow Backfire over with his helicopter wash and says sternly, "Ten points from Slytherin for fixed wing aircraft."

Combat: Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; strikes Backfire with his A Leaf on the Wind (Grab) attack!

Combat: Gained 4 energon.

"So are you the referee, or the coach, or are you just going to play?" Mecha-Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; wants to know. "And are we going to hurry up and play, or sit here listening to all the rules you haven't made up yet?"

Bluestreak has arrived.

Cyclonus ducks under the dirt clod, glaring at Elita. "How dare you! Grimlock, that female is cheating!" he declares imperiously. "Right, isn't it?" Then Backfire says something very, very unfortunate. He backs away from him. "Er, so long as it's only the male AUTOBOTS..." He wastes time having no idea what the hell he's doing.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Cyclonus has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Grimlock misses Rampage! Huh. That's new. The heavy metal ball lands on the hard, dry earth with a 'THUD' and Grimlock just stares at it. In fact, one of the cameramen present gets a great shot of the cannonball-ish ball resting motionless on the earth. "ARG." Grimlock growls at...well, everybody. "WHY AM YOU NOT GETTING BALL! WHY AM YOU NOT PLAYING?!" he grunts, and then shakes his head ruefully. "Me Grimlock knew me shoulda brought him Sludge."

Bluestreak shows up on the field, to probably what looked like the most confused group of mechs, and femme, out on the field. He stands with Elita, then looks at her. "So... what are we doing again?"

Elita One shrugs, "I'm sure that desecrating your opponent is in the rules somewhere, it gives humiliation points towards the red flag victory." Of course she knows there's nothing so indepth in this game, she's just looking for a chance to unwind. Oddly enough, that seems to be with a Decepticon... When Blueshift flies in, she laughs, "It's pretty simple I think. There aren't any rules, and we're still under the truce." In a lower tone she adds, "Enjoy yourself." With that she transforms into her alt mode, leaping forward into the transformation, then starts driving circles about Cyclonus, "Did I mention the disorientation zone? While in play, opponent's are not allowed to fly."

Combat: Elita One strikes Cyclonus with her Dirt Donut Blindness (Grab) attack!

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; transforms and lands on his feet in a crouch. He pulls one of his blades off his back, and holding it like a hockey stick, he attempts to rush up to the ball and slap it somewhere. There is no problem Blades cannot solve, if only he applies enough knives.

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; transforms into his Blades mode.

GAME: Blades rolls a (100)-sided die:

ROLL: Bluestreak rolled a 74

ROLL: Backfire rolled a 65

ROLL: Blades rolled a 61

ROLL: Elita One rolled a 61

ROLL: Cyclonus rolled a 36

ROLL: Grimlock rolled a 19

ROLL: Rampage rolled a 3

"Slytherin? What the deuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!" Backfire shrieks, falling onto his aft as Blades streaks by. Taking to the air, the Seeker aims his arm-mounted ray weapons at the Protectobot and.. nothing.

"Pew pew pew pew!" he shouts, "Ahahahaha, my INVISO LAZERZ ARE SUPER EFFECTIVE!" Backfire cackles madly, turning towards Cyclonus. "I mean, umm.. only if they have facial hair!"

Combat: Blades misses Bluestreak with his Have a Ball (Grab) attack!

Combat: Gained 4 energon.

Combat: Backfire misses Blades with his INVISO LAZERZ! (Grab) attack!

Combat: Backfire (Backfire) used "Grab": A Level 0 MELEE attack.

"Wait, who's got the ball?" the Tiger demands, dashing around and reaching out a paw to trip someone, hopefully someone with the ball!

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; misses Bluestreak with his Gimme the ball! Do you have the ball? Where's the ball?! (Grab) attack!

"I SAID THAT FEMALE IS CHEATING!" Cyclonus roars indignantly at Grimlock, who is ignoring him. Unfortunately, this gives Elita One the chance to do dirt donuts around him, getting dust all over him! "*kaff kaff* I can't fly! That's discrimination! And you can't make up your own rules..." His face goes blank. "...or, can you? Well, even if I can't fly, that doesn't mean I can't be in my alternate mode!" He transforms, landing gear extending. And he races along the ground, assisted by his engines, and blowing the dust back in Elita's direction! "HA! A dose of your own medicine!" He tries to speed towards the ball, as well, because... well, it's important, isn't it?

"Backfire, I didn't need to know that!" Cyclonus yells.

Cyclonus flips forward ninety degrees, limbs folding up and a nosecone snaps down across his head. Wings emerge from his sides and Cyclonus is now in his powerful space fighter mode!

Combat: Starfighter &lt;Cyclonus&gt; strikes Elita One with his Back Atcha (Grab) attack!

"YES!" Grimlock cheers as Elita gets into the spirit of the game. "Her am right! And him Blades am smart too!" he grunts as Blades sends the ball careening across the battlefield! Er, playing field. Either way, it's a bad place to be. "BUT WHAT HAPPENING NOBODY HAVE BALL AGAIN ARGH!" Grimlock shakes his head- only to see Cyclonus go streaking by! "Huh. That fast." he rumbles.

Elita One moves to kneel, her breastplate swings up on both sides, her arms retract, slipping behind her as she sinks down. A windshield rises up at the end, covering her face as she turns into a futuristic car.

Blades decides to try to jump on Cyclonus and ride the spaceship. He shouts, "Hiii-yah, silver!" as he leaps.

In response to Cyclonus action, a cleaning beam works its way up her headlights and viewscreen. Now while Cyclonus was in jet mode, he was generally an agile warrior. On the ground, however, he relied on lesser wheels and actuators to position him, here the pink racer was well in control. Her back wheels spin on the dirt for a few moments as she flies forward, hitting the handbreak to fishtail out twice, then again right in front of Cyclonus, sending more dust up in the air before him. "Nice wheels, do they get taken off when you become a big bot?" She chooses to floor it, actually heading towards the metal ball on the playfield.

Combat: Blades sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Blades misses Starfighter &lt;Cyclonus&gt; with his Space Polo (Grab) attack!

Combat: Gained 4 energon.

Blades misses Cyclonus and splats out in the dirt, laughing an unreasonable amount.

Bluestreak finds himself having a giant metal ball thrown at, then tackled, luckily missing him. This is what he gets for NOT paying attention and having his head in the clouds. Apparently a ball is being chased around, all right. He stands back, not that it would have done any good.

Combat: Bluestreak sets his defense level to Protected.

Grimlock grunts, and watches the goings on- he's forced to make an antigrav-assited jump to bound across the battlefield- he's still not fast enough to keep up with those with wheels (or nuclear powered jet turbines), but he's at least within yelling distance of the best parts. "OH COME ON!" Grimlock snarls, "This am most boring Dinoball EVAR! Grrrh! Just for that, me Grimlock start LASER ROUND!" and with that, Grimlock brings up his double-barreled laser blaster and sprays blasts randomly over the battlefield! "Make things more interesting! 'cuz THAT HOW DINOBALL WORK!"

Grimlock adds on: "ME GRIMLOCK KEEP SHOOTING 'TIL SOMEBODY GET BALL!"

Combat: Grimlock sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Grimlock strikes Blades with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Grimlock (Grimlock) used "Full-Auto": A Level 2 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 9 damage.

Combat: Grimlock misses Starfighter &lt;Cyclonus&gt; with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Grimlock misses Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Grimlock misses Backfire with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Grimlock strikes Pink Techcar &lt;Elita One&gt; with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Grimlock misses Bluestreak with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Starfighter &lt;Cyclonus&gt;'s engines scream as he tears across the field. "I'll take YOUR wheels off, you harpy! As soon as I can... see!" The dust is too much for him, and he tries to turn out of the way. But as Elita guessed, Cyclonus is not so maneuverable in fighter mode, and his turn becomes a tilt, and before long, he's flipping over and over like a bad stunt car driver! "Gunnff! Agh! Urgh!" He transforms in an attempt to stop rolling, but it doesn't quite work. "Gunnff! Agh! Urgh!" And lasers are streaking by! He has to get the ball! Because... lasers! And there's the ball! Maybe he can grab onto it as he rolls by!

The space fighter's nosecone snaps back as its body flips upright. Arms and legs unfold from the wings and fuselage respectively, and a dour face emerges from the body, forming the robot mode of Cyclonus!

Combat: Cyclonus compares his Agility to 90: Failure :(

Nope. Cyclonus rolls past the ball. "Gunnff! Agh! Urgh!"

Blades gets shot while rolling around in the dirt laughing. That makes him sober up, and he declares, "What the slag, bot? The ball is made of /electric lava/. You can't actually touch it! Keep away round!" Blades runs off, arms in the air.

Combat: Blades sets his defense level to Guarded.

"ELECTRIC LAVA RULES!" Grimlock declares, echoing Blades.

Pink Techcar &lt;Elita One&gt; growls, "Grimlock, you....." Her voice breaks off into a mutter, "I think its time the ref gets whats coming to him!" She swerves aside, narrowly dodging the ball she was so eager to take just moments ago, "Whoa, electric lava..." The car fishtails again, revs up, then boosts forward. Extra thrusters are seen igniting as she manages a vehicular leap up into the air, transforming as she goes higher, up high enough to be blinding in the path of the sun. Then she clots Grimlock one, more intent to knock him down than anything. "You big goof!"

The futuristic car breaks open in the middle, as the legs form upward. Her hood shifts into her armor plating with her arms coming together at the last, turning into Elita One's robot mode.

Combat: Elita One misses Grimlock with her A Woman Scorned attack! [Pulled -2]

"Silly Autobot, don't you know that ELECTRICITY and LAVA cancel eachother out?? Ahahaha, whadda dope!" Backfire chides, following closely behind Cyclonus and attempting to make a play on the ball. When Cyclonus rolls right on by, the Seeker leans out to try and snatch onto it.

But then, LASERS! Dodging, he still attempts to cradle it in his arm. "I am probably the BEST Decepticon at handling balls."

"Ever."

Bluestreak might be sooner running for safety rather than getting the ball. "Grimlock, will you stop SHOOTING at us?"

Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; dodges the impromptu blast of lazers courtesy of Grimlock, and when the Dinobot announces electric lava, he tries blowing at the ball when he catches up with it. Then tossing sand at it with a paw. The sand might get in people's eyes!

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; misses Grimlock with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; misses Elita One with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; misses Bluestreak with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; strikes Cyclonus with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; strikes Backfire with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; strikes Blades with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; (Rampage) used "Full-Auto": A Level 2 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 10 damage.

Backfire latches onto the ball, "I got it!" Then abruptly gets sand in the optic, "GAH!" he grates, flailing madly.

Grimlock takes Elita's blow head-on! And...he holds his ground. "Huh. Me Grimlock almost feel that." he rumbles, and rubs at his chin- his attention, however, is drawn by the fact that Backfire has the ball! Huh. "MAGNET BALL RULES!" Grimlock declares, and points accusatorily at the seeker. "That mean EVERYBODY NEED GET BALL FROM THAT GUY! Also punch him lots!"
 * CLANG!*

Backfire says, "Even BLINDED BY SAND, I am still the best handler of balls.. EVER!"

Blades doubles around, gets sand in his eyes courtesy of Rampage, steps up behind Backfire, and attempts to stab him in the back, declaring with a smile, "The danger of electric lava is not the electric lava. The danger is that then I stab you."

Combat: Blades sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Blades misses Backfire with his Rotor Blade attack!

Combat: Drained 11 energon.

Cyclonus grunts as he finally rolls to a stop, his wings all bent out of shape. "Urrghhh... what am I doing?..." Staggering up, he.... immediately catches sand in his optics, which somehow does incredible damage! "ARRGH! MY OPTICS! WHO DID THAT!?" he screams, blindly stumbling forward, arm reaching out for someone, something, anything.

Combat: Cyclonus misses Backfire with his punch attack!

Bluestreak has just about enough of this, and when Rampage attacks them all, well...

He takes cover and then pulls out his blaster, aiming to just stop the tiger in his tracks.

Combat: Bluestreak strikes Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; with his This is the most INANE game I have ever played. (Laser) attack!

Combat: Elita One compares her Agility to 60: Failure :(

Elita One nearly drops her jaw as Grimlock nosells her hit. "You know, SOME mechs fall down when they get struck, Grimlock." She throws her hands up, "Whatever." With a sprint, she's back into the game. Cyclonus is making a fool of himself, "Receptors still not repaired? That's what you get when you use discount parts." She quips as she moves to hurdle him. It doesn't quite work so well for her, as her leg and knee catches on the larger bot as he flails about.

Combat: Elita One misses Cyclonus with her Accidental Tiger Knee! (Kick) attack!

Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; acks as he's shot by Bluestreak. He turns and takes a swipe at the Autobot that shot him, trying to catch him in the chin.

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; misses Bluestreak with his Tiger! UPPERCUT!!! (Punch) attack!

And, despite Grimlock's urgings, Backfire STILL HASS THE BALL and is decidedly NOT MURDERED by anybody. "Huh." Grimlock says. "Me Grimlock hope him septi-con guy not find the SECRET GOAL someplace." he grumbles, and crosses his arms across his chest. He shoots a glare at Bluestreak, because the poor gunner is close by and apparently not contributing enough to the team(?) effort. "If him find SECRET GOAL, bad things happen. To you."

Since Dinoball isn't a recognized sport, Backfire took the liberty of lathering himself in seventeen metric tons of butter before the match.

And thusly, slips easily through Blade's attempted murderfying and Cyclonus' attempt to flail about. "Step back you currs, I.. BACKFIRE shall find this SECRET GOAL!"

Blades holds a hand out to Backfire beckoningly and says, "Hey, I know where the secret goal is. Lemme show you. I'll just transform, and you look in my cockpit. There's a map there, eh?" Well, actually, Blades is just trying to trick Backfire into walking into one of his rockets.

Blades transforms into his Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; mode.

Combat: Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; misses Backfire with his Armor-Piercing Smart Rocket attack!

Combat: Drained 14 energon.

Cyclonus stumbles as Elita's legs bap his shoulder as she jumps over him, but manages to stay on his feet. And eventually he wipes the sand from his optics, able to see again. The first thing he sees is that Backfire has the ball! "What! Well..." He thinks for a moment. If the participants are all using moron logic in this game, then maybe he can use that to his advantage! "Ah, well, Backfire may have the ball..." He chases after Backfire, trying to grab him by the shoulders and hoist him into the air. "...but I have Backfire! So it is I who has the ball!"

Combat: Cyclonus misses Backfire with his Dinoball Hijacking (Grab) attack!

Bluestreak quickly backs away as Rampage tries to swipe at him. "Eeek!" That horrendous, terrified noise comes out of his vocals and he quickly moved back to avoid the swipe. "I swear- Grimlock just wants an excuse for an all out brawl."

Combat: Bluestreak misses Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; with his Shoo! Shoo! (Kick) attack!

Elita One raises her fingers to her mouth, letting out a sharp whistle. That was actually her alt-mode horn put through a compression wave, but the image was the key, as the humans seemed to do that a lot in sports. "Objection. Dog Pile rules don't go into effect until next turn, hand over the ball, Grimlock'll shot put it into the crowd as hard as he can, then we can continue."

"Excuse me?" Backfire, fresh from buttering through Cyclonus' grab, gives Elita One an odd and puzzled look. "Listen, maybe if you had a flattened chest and some stubble.. I MIGHT listen to you Autobot." the Seeker laughs, looking down at the ball, then back up to the Femme Commander. "But it doesn't matter, because I.. BACKFIRE, glory of the EMPIRE!" he muses, thrusting an index finger up to indicate '#1'.

"Have found the SECRET GOAL!" Turning, Backfire does his best to peg Grimlock with the ball. "It's SOOOOOOO OBVIOUS, it isn't!!"

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Backfire misses Grimlock with his Secret GOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! (Grab) attack!

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; transforms and pulls out a bag of glass shards that he just happens to have for entirely legitimate reasons and scatters them around the field.

Bell UH-1 Iroquois &lt;Blades&gt; transforms into his Blades mode.

Combat: Blades strikes Bluestreak with his Glass Shards (Ruckus) Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Blades misses Cyclonus with his Glass Shards (Ruckus) Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Blades misses Elita One with his Glass Shards (Ruckus) Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Blades strikes Grimlock with his Glass Shards (Ruckus) Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Blades strikes Backfire with his Glass Shards (Ruckus) Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Blades misses Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; with his Glass Shards (Ruckus) Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Gained 1 energon.

Blades asides to himself, "Heh. Glass shards trump butter. Every day."

Grimlock holds his hand up and palms the incoming dinoball with surprising casualness. "Nope! Me Grimlock am REFEREE, not SECRET GOAL." he grunts, and nods at Elita One. "Her am right! FREE FOR ALL MODE!" and with that said, Grimlock rears back and gives the ball a *BOOT!* ...even as Backfire tosses broken glass all over him like some kind of murder-glitter. "PENALTY FOR GLITTERBOMB REF!" he says, and lunges at the Protectobot!
 * THOONK!*

Combat: Grimlock strikes Blades with his PENALTY'D! (Punch) attack!

Combat: Grimlock (Grimlock) used "Punch": A Level 1 MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 10 damage.

Combat: Grimlock's attack has damaged your Strength!

Cyclonus glares at Elita One. "Stop making up nonsense! Dogpile rules. Bah! But it doesn't matter--Grimlock has the ball again--" Then that's no longer true! "BLADES has the ball! Well, it's only dogpiling if more than one person tackles him! So if I tackle him, you cannot tackle him OR me!" He lunges at the Protectobot to perform the promised tackle, glass flying over his pronged head.

Combat: Cyclonus misses Blades with his Grab attack!

Combat: Cyclonus (Cyclonus) used "Grab": A Level 0 MELEE attack.

Bluestreak covers his head as glass shards pour down on his head. "Blades!" Ouch! He was struck with some of the pieces in the most unusual of places. He then goes and jumps on Blades too, just annoyed at this, whatever this is.

Combat: Bluestreak strikes Blades with his GET THE ROTERS! (Grab) attack!

Combat: Bluestreak (Bluestreak) used "Grab": A Level 0 MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 0 damage.

Elita One considers Backfire's odd statement, "I get that a lot, actually." Suddenly, glass! It really wasn't going to hurt a mech, I mean come on. She reflexively braces, covering her optics anyway. Looking back at Backfire, she notes, "That reminds me." Then she clocks him in the jaw in a rather overt manner for no reason other than his proximity. She adds to Cyclonus, "I think my rules are just as valid as anything else going on here."

Combat: Elita One sets her defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Elita One strikes Backfire with her Sucker Punch (Punch) attack!

"Oh no, my rotors!" Blades cries out at Grimlock punches off his rotors and then Bluestreak steals them. But he has the ball, at least? And is still able to evade that wascally wabbit? He tries to jump on Rampage with the ball.

Combat: Blades strikes Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; with his Get the Got Tiger (Grab) attack!

Combat: Gained 4 energon.

Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; runs around dodging ...broken glass? Where does this stuff come from? He tries going after any Autobots that are after the ball.

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

"RODEO JOUSTING RULES!" Grimlock bellows, obviously having a good time. "Somebody have be riding somebody else for get SECRET GOAL to get WINNING POINTS!"

Grimlock notes: "That am called 'teamwork.'"

Backfire is smacked in the kisser by Elita One, falling back into.. GLASS! Worse, shards of GLASS! "GAH!" he flails, rolling around in the substance profusely. Like Rambo dipping his sticky mitts into glass shards in that one movie, Backfire rises up covered with sticky shards of glass.. thanks to the buttering from before the match.

"Wait, so uhh.. WHO WANTS TO RIDE ME???" Backfire says at Grimlock's new rule announcement. The innuendos just never stop. :(

Cyclonus growls, "Then why don't I declare a rule that all pink robots must yell, 'Hail Galvatron!' before they touch the ball? In fact, that is a new rule! Right now!" He continues hustling after Backfire, but his pace slows when suddenly the game takes a turn for the worse! "I.... will... ride you, Backfire! Primus help me." He tries to climb up onto Backfire's shoulders.

"STUPID RULE PENALTY 'CUZ HIM GALVATRON AM JERK!" Grimlock says, and attempts to snag Cyclonus before he can clamber atop Backfire. "OVERRULED!"

Combat: Grimlock strikes Cyclonus with his GRABBED! (Grab) attack!

Elita One shrugs, "Okay then." She delivers a swift kick to Cyclonus after Grimlock puts his meaty...er steely fists upon him. She goes right for the ball bearings. "Fail, Galvatron!" She chuckles a little, that was actually pretty fun.

Blades continues to try to ride Rampage and also hold onto the ball. "Yeehaw!"

Combat: Elita One sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Elita One strikes Cyclonus with her No Gumby Offspring For You! (Kick) attack!

Backfire's optics glisten, as Cyclonus is about to mount him.

Then Grimlock ruins his life forever.

Combat: Blades misses Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; with his Ride the Tiger (Grab) attack!

Combat: Gained 4 energon.

Blades falls off and rolls around in the dirt some more.

Grimlock tosses Cyclonus to the (broken-glass-strewn) ground, and leaves Elita to start kicking him! "Fail Galvatron. Haw." His attention's taken, however, by Blades, as the killiest protectobot rolls off of Rampage and into an unpleasant and rocky ditch. However, he rolls into an unpleasant and rocky ditch while CARRYING THE DINOBALL. "WOOO!" Grimlock says, throwing his arms up in the air. "Him Blades find SECRET GOAL! That mean him get ONE MILLION POINTS! And septi-cons get NEGATIVE MILLION points 'cuz them am stupid faces!" Grimlock...may not be an objective referee.

Cyclonus is first slammed down, then kicked while he's down. "Argh! Damn females!" he cries out, curling up on the ground, cringing. "Backfire... do something!"

Blades cackles, "All the points are mine! All of them!" There is a large number of rocks poking into the hole in his back where his blades should go, since Grimlock punched them off and Bluestreak stole them. "There are none left for anyone else, because I have them all!" Actually, there are rocks poking into other places, too, and glass shards. He tries to throw the ball to Bluestreak and declares, "No dribbling rules!"

Combat: Targetting Error: No target named 'bluestreaker'

Combat: Blades misses Bluestreak with his The Ball (Grab) attack!

Combat: Gained 4 energon.

"That's a stupid secret goal!" Backfire grates at Grimlock, somewhat still sore about his interference with the Cyclonus riding that was about to take place. When Blades makes a pass for Bluestreak, Backfire does his best to tackle the Autobot gunner. "Rampage, be a cat or something and GET THE BALL!"

Combat: Backfire strikes Bluestreak with his Glass Shard Hug (Grab) attack!

On the one hand, Backfire has the ball(again), which is no doubt going to lead to all kinds of mayhem. On the other hand, well...Cyclonus is curled up on the ground, and so Grimlock's going to have some fun! This is part of referee-ing, isn't it?

Combat: Grimlock misses Cyclonus with his CHEAP SHOT (Kick) attack!

Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; is relieved of a clingy Protectobot and turns to maul Blades. "Protectobots don't ride Predacons!" he snaps.

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; misses Blades with his Kick attack!

Combat: Robot Tiger &lt;Rampage&gt; (Rampage) used "Kick": A Level 2 MELEE attack.

Blades heckles, "Just did, and I'll do it again! Actually... yeah, no, I can move up to a better mount." Blades tries to jump on top of Grimlock's shoulders, thereby avoiding Rampage's attack. "Ride the zebra!"

Combat: Blades strikes Grimlock with his Ride the Zebra (Grab) attack!

Combat: Gained 4 energon.

Cyclonus rolls out of the way of the stomp, transforming and flying away! "You'll pay for this, Autobots!"

Elita One dusts herself off, looking rather satisfied with herself at the moment. She wipes her face on her forearm, which really doesn't do much aside from scrape lightly. She surveys the scene, looking around for anything of use in this strange, but oddly interesting game of impromptu everything.

Backfire has the ball again? Shrugging, the Seeker puts himself into a defensive position near Cyclonus. "Perhaps if we secure the ball for the last call, we'll gain a ZILLION POINTS??"

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Backfire takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Cyclonus whips back around. "Actually, that's a good point! Maybe I can score a ZILLION POINTS... ON THEIR TOMBS!" And he begins saturating the area with napalm!!!

Grimlock winds up with a kinda-pointy Protectobot on his shoulders! That...was unexpected. Still, Grimlock soon raises the ref-whistle to his faceplate and blows it- just in the same way Constructicons can play trumpet. Don't ask questions. "GAME OVER! Him Blades am winner for finding SECRET GOAL and also not being septi-con and probably trying to murder everyone!" he nods, and then attempts to shake poor Blades loose and/or throw him at Backfire. "Good game!"

Cyclonus flips forward ninety degrees, limbs folding up and a nosecone snaps down across his head. Wings emerge from his sides and Cyclonus is now in his powerful space fighter mode!

Too late! The bombs are falling!

Combat: Starfighter &lt;Cyclonus&gt; strikes Grimlock with his Incendiary Bombs Area attack! [Pulled -6]

Combat: Starfighter &lt;Cyclonus&gt; strikes Backfire with his Incendiary Bombs Area attack! [Pulled -6]

Combat: Starfighter &lt;Cyclonus&gt; misses Elita One with his Incendiary Bombs Area attack! [Pulled -6]

Elita One stands in the middle of a Death Valley Inferno, fire rages around her, pain, agony, mud, dirt, glass and scrap. "How many times am I going to get bombed this week?" She says incredulously. Granted she's admist the inferno, but unharmed. "Well, I guess that's to be expected from playing Dino Ball..."

Backfire is bombed into an early grave, crumbling into a mess with the ball in his hand. "Still.." he croaks, "Best.."

Arm falling to the side, he finally mutters the rest out before succumbing to knockout. "Handler of balls."

Combat: Backfire damages himself.

Combat: Backfire falls to the ground, unconscious.

"TIME FOR PENALTY MISSILES!" Grimlock snarls, and, ignoring Blades and Backfire, he steps out of the flames, pulling up his Galaxial Rocket Launcher to set loose a missile at the eeeevil decepticon!

Combat: Grimlock sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Grimlock strikes Starfighter &lt;Cyclonus&gt; with his Galaxial Rocket Launcher attack!

Blades gets flung off into Backfire's direction, and he yells, "I regret noooothing!"

BLAM! Cyclonus's moment of triumph is cut short as he takes a massive hit, trailing smoke behind him as he flies away for real! "Currrrrsssseeee youuuuuuuu!"