For want of Ham

Tremor is wandering the coast, taking in the sights. He likes to think that he has an eye for beauty, but he sees none here. Everything is organic, wild, without structure. How can any mech find such a place more lovely than Cybertron? It is beyond Tremor's ability to comprehend. But there is an oasis it seems - his olfactory sensors detect a sweet and enticing aroma rising from a building nearby. Tremor approaches, intrigued by the thought of crushing the building and consuming whatever delicious-smelling foodstuffs may be contained within.

Groove is still trying to help repair a few things from when that damned Insecticon decided to visit. Thankfully the smell had gone, though a few buildings still looked half melted. Naturally, as Tremor trudges along, people begin fleeing. Alerted by the sudden panic, the particularly stubborn deli owner rushes outside and wags his finger. "No no! No more is being attack here! Not again! No serve you!"

Tremor a little above the roof of the building and looks down at the owner. "Attack?" he smirks, "Not if you get outta my way, meatbag. This'll just be a friendly little exchange of everything you got for you not endin' up 2d, right?" He sets about attempting to pull off the deli's roof, oblivious to the humans running in fear from him.

And the deli roof comes right off, likely due to how old the building is, though it doesn't help that a giant metal warrior is doing the pulling. And people really start screaming. The deli owner spits a few curses in his native language but reluctantly takes off. Groove looks over and spots the figure. Oh great. The cyclebot rushes over and pauses several meters away. "Hey man, that ain't cool... If you wanted some ham all ya' had to do was ask..."

Tremor turns on Groove with a fistful of steel and masonry. "Primus," he says, "You're all this scar of a town has to offer?" He pounds his palm. "Ya got two choices. One, you shut up and eat fist. Two, you shut up and eat ham."

Groove frowns, slumping, even his handlebars follow suit. Decepticons never want to talk things out. "I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave, rollerman... it's nothing personal, but see, the humans like to have a roof on their deli."

"I warned ya, Squeaky," Tremor laughs. He puts drops what remains of the roof and steps toward Groove. Somehow, he had managed to convince himself that he wasn't looking for a fight today! He cocks his fist back and makes as if to sock Groove in the faceplate.

Combat: Tremor misses Groove with his Face Hitting! (Punch) attack!

Groove must've been expecting something like that, as he dodges a heavily-backed fist, and steps back a bit. "Can't we negotiate here rollerman? I can get you a ham if you leave quietly, yeah?"

Combat: Groove sets his defense level to Neutral.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Groove has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Combat: Tremor sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Tremor chuckles. "Talk?" He continues his advance. "You are aware we're at war, aren't you, bromech? Better plan. I beat you down, I take whatever I want?

Combat: Tremor strikes Groove with his Thrust Kick! (Kick) attack!

Groove doesn't quite have time to respond as he's flung backwards to scrape against pavement. "...Ow." He slowly sits up glowers. "Ain't yer' bromech, pal." Unspacing a pistol, he flips a setting and takes aim.

Combat: Groove strikes Tremor with his Photon Pistol attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Tremor's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Tremor is shot directly in the optic visor! And he just had it repaired. He stumbles, arms out, crushing several cars and maiming at least one dumbfounded pedestrian in his blind flailing. He speaks, but his curses are unfit to appear in print. Finally, he gets hold of himself. "Grrhh," he vents, "wann fight dirty? Oh yes. I like to fight dirty, Autobot!" He raises his arms above his head and brings them down to pound the ground with as much force as he can.

Combat: Tremor strikes Groove with his Tectonic Shock attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Groove's Agility. (Crippled)

"Oh for, watch your mouth rollerman! Oof!" Groove loses his footing among the very street splitting. It crumbles under the force, asphault bouncing into the air and coming down on more cars, and Groove as well. "Slag..." He aims another shot at a different setting, still sprawled there.

Combat: Groove strikes Tremor with his Laser attack!

Tremor takes the blast high on his hip, wincing a bit as it burns a black mark on his armor. He holds up his fist. "You watch this," he laughs. With this, he charges toward Groove, hoping to connect with a downward blow and bash the Protectobot into the asphalt.

Combat: Tremor strikes Groove with his Hammer Blow! (Punch) attack!

Groove's already huge optics widen as that fist comes down on him, pounding him further into the battered street. His chest buckles a bit, and he's left with a nice dent along with a few malfunctioning systems. For a moment, he just lies there, sparking. He's not built for battle, nossir.

Combat: Groove takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Tremor steps back a bit. He tilts his head far to the right, and there's a hiss and a tiny puff of white smoke as pressure is released from his cervical hydraulics. "Heh. You're not worth my time, chump." He brushes some rubble from his chassis and turns his back on Groove. "Now, if you don't mind, I think I'll take some of this tasty ham and blow this crater, /Bromech/."

Combat: Tremor takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Groove groans and pushes himself upright, servos squeaking unhappily. Bits of asphault slide from his frame and he stands, glaring. He doesn't say anything this time, unspacing his giant metal guitar. With a running start, he advances on Tremor and swings it like a weapon at the 'con's backside.

Combat: Groove strikes Tremor with his That's not a weapon! (Smash) attack!

Tremor stumbles as he is blonged in the back of the head by a giant guitar! He trips over a school bus and turns on his heel in time to fall aft-first into a Papa John's, dragging some power lines down with him. He looks up at Groove from the wreckage, positioned most awkwardly with his legs splayed out, and begins applauding. "That's the spirit," he crows, "/That's/ what I like to see!" He pushes himself from the wreck. "We'll make a hard one out of you yet." He suddenly rushes forward in an attempt to tackle Groove.

Combat: Tremor misses Groove with his Shoulder Tackle! (Smash) attack!

 Groove says, "Why does everyone pick on my hippie town..."

Groove isn't rightly sure what to make of the praise as he stands there, tense as all hell, gripping his guitar like a baseball bat. "..." Abruptly he feels guilty. "S'...sorry," he mumbles, and somehow reacts fast enough to dodge that tackle. "!"

Combat: Groove takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Tremor must have been a little more dazed by the guitar shot than he realized. He totally misses and turfs like King Doofus. When he gets up, he puts his hand behind his head and turns to Groove. "What? You apologizin'?" He's still smirking. "No, no, that aint the way this works. You gotta get mad! Really try to break me, ya know? Or else this just isn't any fun."

Combat: Tremor takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

"Are you... coaching me?" Groove almost looks amused. "Hey man, I don't want to /break/ you, I just want you to leave. Kinda' tired of my home getting smashed up. So... please, get moving." Again, he doesn't attack.

Combat: Groove takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

 Raindance says, "You have a hippie town?"

 Groove says, "Yeah... and the Papa John's just got smashed."

"What're you made of, aluminum foil?" Tremor laughs at Groove. "I'm tryin' ta make this worth my while. You think anybody's gonna listen to you if you act like such a pansy all the time." He vents a hateful chuckle. "I tell ya, I sure won't." He reaches out to try and shove Groove, taunting him.

Combat: Tremor strikes Groove with his Schoolyard Bullying! (Grab) attack!

"M'not a pansy," Groove mutters dejectedly, and stumbles backwards at the shove. He is, in fact, steadily growing angrier, so Tremor's efforts aren't for naught. Grating dental plates, he aims another swing with his guitar, hoping to nail Tremor right under the chin.

Combat: Groove strikes Tremor with his Smash attack!

Tremor is indeed struck under the chin by yet another wicked guitar strike. He totters backward, but doesn't fall. When he looks at Groove again, he has a bit of purple leaking from his buccal cavity. "Heh. S'better!" He puts his hands together and swings them at Groove, hammer-blow style.

Combat: Tremor misses Groove with his Double Axe Handle! (Punch) attack!

Somewhere, deep in the back of Groove's processor, a part of him liked the encouragement. He shook his head, that can't be right. Subspacing his be'stickered guitar, he transforms tries to get some distance between himself and Tremor. "If you don't leave now, I'm gonna' call for backup!" he threatens, and trains his vaporators on the padfoot roller.

Groove drops and compacts, transforming into his motorcycle mode.

Combat: Harley  strikes Tremor with his Twin Vaporators attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Tremor's Agility. (Crippled)

Tremor turns to avoid Groove's twin vaporators, but is hit in the left leg. He goes down to one knee, pain flashing across his faceplate. But even that cannot dispel his smirk. He is beginning to enjoy this fight at last. All mechs have a bit of Tremor in them. He laughs, thinking of how he was able to draw that little bit out of Groove, at least to some degree. "I knew you could do it, buddy!" He draws his pistol and aims, intending to blast Groove in reward for showing that he's got the bearings to fight back.

Combat: Tremor strikes Harley  with his Laser attack!

Harley  bites back more guilt. He hates all violence, but even the mellow folks need an outlet from time to time... though he internally admits it could've been a better outlet. He can't dwell on things for long - a laser blast strikes his fairing, searing white armor. He manages a growl and bolts straight towards Tremor, with no real plan of attack.

Combat: Harley  strikes Tremor with his Ram attack!

Tremor hunkers down and prepares for Groove's charge. He didn't become as renowned as he become on the Monacan pit-fighting surface by being unable to read his opponents! He attempts to grab Groove's handlebars and absorb the impact, but is knocked a bit off balance. Prepared, yes, but perhaps a little too ambitious. He falls backward and rolls away from the Protectobot. "Now you've got it!" He charges the Harley and dives forward, transforming.

Tremor retracts his fists, falling forward as he slams his arms together to form his roller. His legs retract, flipping upward. With a declining sequence of five 8hz pulses, Tremor transforms into a soil compactor!

Combat: Steamroller strikes Harley  with his Flatten attack!

Harley  wasn't expecting this! Systems were dangerously low as it is, and being mowed over didn't help any. So /that's/ what his altmode was... it was hard to tell, not that Groove cared at the moment, too busy getting crushed. He could only remain stationary as his frame crumpled and twisted under the weight. "Khh!" Anyone available for backup wouldn't reach the town in time, so a retreat was looking more and more like a good idea. His tires find purchase on the pavement, a curl of smoke rising from them as he desperately tries to escape.

Combat: Harley  takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Steamroller transforms and lets Groove out from under his roller. He looks down at the Protectobot and smiles. "And that's why ya gotta have a ruthless spark, Bromech." Will Groove come at him again? He doubts it. He's all but certain that he's won, but he stands ready just the same.

The big roller separates, fists sliding out to lift the front end of the compactor, legs flip down and extend, and the head slides up to reveal the smirking face of Tremor!

Combat: Tremor takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Andi Lassiter just happened to be making her monthly pilgrimage to this serene little hippie-ville, as it's one of the very few places left where she can get handmade soaps and custom-blended local teas. Sadly, she didn't arrive earlier.

Harley  darts away as soon as he's released, clumsily transforming to land on his hands and knees, venting heavily. That... was a bit frightening. No one wants to be crushed alive. His lifts his shaky pistol, still reluctant on retreating despite the warnings on his HUD. "Told ya', ain't yer fraggin' /bromech/." He doesn't quite notice Andi just yet.

Groove twists and folds into his robot mode.

Combat: Groove strikes Tremor with his Disruptor attack!

Andi Lassiter stops her rental car when she comes up on a roadblock created by the local sheriffs. To the untrained eye, the devastation ahead might resemble a freak tornado, or some other weather phenomenon. To Andi, though, it screams Decepticon activity. She pulls her car out of the way and gets out, hurrying over to the closest deputy. Drawing from an old TV show, she flashes her EDC badge at him too fast for the young man to really see that it's marked "R&D" and asks him, "Lassiter, EDC. What's going on here?"

Tremor pays little attention to meatbags, especially as he is being blasted by disruptor fire. He takes a few steps back as he absorbs the brunt of the shot, and then actually pounds his chest plate as he taunts Groove. "C'mon, buddy! Make the choice! Ha ha! You know you wanna break me!"

Combat: Tremor takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Andi Lassiter looks over. Yup. First impression was correct. She's never seen the Decepticon before, though. Some new jerk? Just great. With a nod to the deputy, she reassures him with a curt, "Let me see what I can do." She hurries back to her rental car and pops the trunk. Let's hear it for being just paranoid enough to always travel prepared. She opens a duffel bag, rummages through it past the medical scanners, datapads, and other similarly useless items until she finds her goal -- a normal Cybertronian-sized laser scalpel, one she brought back from the Pax without realizing. In her hands it looks like an overgrown light sabre. Slamming the trunk lid shut, she turns and runs for the giant alien robots, hoping she's not too late to help Groove make this...ape of a Decepticon just go away.

Groove truly doesn't have it in him at this point. Energon's leaking all over the ground around him. He lowers onto his forearms, trembling; Tremor must've squashed /some/thing important. In any case, he wasn't budging, nor attacking. "Andi?" he manages, tilting his head a bit.

Combat: Groove takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Tremor walks up to Groove slowly. He pats the battered mech on the back. "Now you're a warrior," he says. "Next time - try to win." With this he starts to saunter in Andi's direction, limping a bit despite his best efforts to pretend as though Groove didn't hurt him. His optic visor is cracked. He might not be able to see Andi right now.

Damnit, Groove, you don't give away an ally's position like that! Andi hastily ducks behind a convenient car, hoping that the brute Decepticon didn't see her. She waits for a moment, listening carefully to see if she can tell when he's attention turns back to the injured Protectobot. Crap, he's moving closer. She risks a quick glance around the car and up at Tremor, and realizes that he's not paying that much attention to the ground...and his optic visor looks to be cracked. That should create a few good blind spots. She waits until he's even with the car she's hiding behind, then darts toward his still-moving feet and kicks on the way-too-big-for-her-hands laser scalpel and swings it at the limping mech's injured ankle, trying to take out the actuators and servos there that are approximately the equivalent of an achilles' tendon.

Combat: Andi Lassiter strikes Tremor with her Achilles' slice (Laser) attack!

Groove follows Andi with his optics, tensing right up as she- holy slag! Goes after Tremor /herself/ - ? Damn girl.

Tremor is feeling pretty good about himself. An opponent left humiliated, a few buildings in ruins - today has been a good day after all! He wonders what will happen when he meets Groove next. He love making enemies of weaker mechs! He looks about the Hippie town with a smug expression, thinking of himself as an inspiration even to his foes. All of this comes crashing down rather quickly, though. Pain explodes in his left ankle and he goes down hard before he can even wonder what's happened. He faceplants onto a car's hood, flipping the vehicle up into the air in cinematic style. "Oof!"

Andi Lassiter is REALLY lucky right now that this mech's feet didn't hit her when he face-planted. Because it was THAT close. I mean, she was RIGHT behind his foot just now. But, no time to stop and think about that and freak out. She races along the mech's side then presses the baseball bat-sized laser scalpel to the side of Tremor's neck, ready to turn it on again and slice right into the central processing node hidden under the armor plating. "You are going to get up and leave quietly, or you will never get up again. Do you understand?" Yeah. Mommy Voice has nothing on this.

Tremor's smirk is gone now. Threatened by a meatpuppet? How humiliating! He holds very still, staring at Andi with his one good optic. Then something dawns on him. He smiles again. "Heh, how's yer ankle, there?"

Perhaps hippietown was not doomed at all, with Andi to the rescue! Groove just sits over there, bleeding. :( He'd collapsed at one point, but he'd be damned if he was going to miss /this/, and keeps his optics on the happenings.

Andi Lassiter smiles back, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Good as new. How's your ankle?"

Tremor actually laughs. He's got to hand it to this human - she's got bearings. He could transform right now and crush her, but he decides to spare her. She'll probably walk around with a big head for a little bit, and that will make it all the more satisfying to dissect her broken carcass. "I like you," he leers, "Yer purrrrrty - for a fleshbag." With this, he pushes himself up slowly and activates his antigravs. "Bye, hon," he calls to Groove as he ascends.

Combat: Tremor begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

Andi Lassiter steps back and watches Tremor leave. The moment he's out of eyeshot she yells to the deputy, "Get the duffle out of my trunk!" and throws her rental's keys at him before rushing toward Groove. "Groove, stay still....crap, what the heck happened?"

The deputy is still standing in the same place, a look of abject terror frozen on his big, dopey face. He just missed be crushed by a giant falling robot! Andi's keys sail by him and clatter on the ground. The sound seems to bring him back to his senses a bit. He stammers, fumbling for the keys, and does as Andi tells him.

Groove isn't sure he believes what just happened. "..." Watching Tremor retreat, (thank Primus), he rolls onto his side, despite Andi's warning, and instantly regrets it. "That /steamroller/ happened," he almost snaps, a bit uncharacteristically, and frowns about it.

Andi Lassiter sighs, glancing up after Tremor again. Well, at least it was good luck that she chose today to drive on down here. No telling if Groove would have made it out of this fight otherwise. "Stay still, Groove." She sets the too-large laser scalpel down and pulls her radio/cellphone from her pocket to call in a request for assistance from both the Ark and the EDC -- the latter because they're closer. By the time she's done making the calls, she takes the duffel from the deputy. "Thank you. Now I need to you clear the road into town so emergency vehicles can get through. All right, mister...Cole?" She spares a quick glance at the deputy's name badge before turning and digging her scanner and tools out of her duffle. Crap, no protective gloves. Well, screw it. She's dealt with it before, she can deal with it again. She starts a quick scan of the injured 'bot then immediately reaches in to stop the worst of the energon leaks, trying to avoid getting scratched and scraped by the torn and damaged armor. There's simply no way to avoid getting the spilled energon on her hands, but open wounds would just make it all the worse.

Combat: Andi Lassiter runs a diagnostic check on Groove

"Err, no ma'm. It's Coule, actually. Lotta people make that mistake." The deputy rocks back and forth on his heels a bit before he realizes what Andi has said and departs to clear the road.

Combat: Andi Lassiter expertly repairs Groove's injuries.

Groove just lies there like a good patient, trying not to twitch. "S-sorry Andi, should've been able to handle this m'self... You sure showed him, though."

Meanwhile, some hippie is giving the deputy a hard time. His volkswagen bus was crushed. "You gonna' pay for my ride, man? What the crap! My insurance doesn't cover this!"

Andi Lassiter snaps impatiently at the voice she can hear nearby harassing the deputy. "Either make yourself useful and HELP get the road cleared, or go away and take your complaints up with Galvatron." She grits her teeth at the faint burning sensation of the energon on her hands, finishes the quick patch repair, then extricates herself from Groove's side to go patch the next most critical section of damage. "You know what, dude?" She turns to look at the hippie sharply. "I need you to go get as much flour and baking soda as you can. RIGHT NOW." She then climbs up onto Groove's chest plate, cursing faintly when she slips on the rather nauseating mix of energon, coolant, and other fluids smeared across the mech's armor. "Ah. Crap." She looks at her left wrist then with a grimace wipes the energon and blood from her wrist onto her shirt by her right collarbone before reaching into Groove's chest to keep patching him up. Hope he doesn't complain if she bleeds on him a little.

Coule never questions the EDC. Finding nothing illegal, he pushes the hippie away to find flour and baking soda while he continues getting the road cleared.

Groove hopes Andi doesn't complain if he bleeds on /her/ a little! Whatever Andi's doing, it's helping, seeing as warnings on his HUD lessen as she works. This doesn't stop him from grunting every now and then, fists balling. Eventually he notices a flash of red. "You... alright...?"

Andi Lassiter finishes the second hasty patch to Groove's internals and gingerly sits up, getting a cut on her right forearm for her trouble, and feeling the energon there burning more intensely. Crap and crap again. First Aid is gonna be MAD. "Okay, Groove. I think I've got the worst of it capped off -- you're not going to bleed out. Transports are already on their way to get you to the Ark for proper repairs." She rubs her hands against her pant legs, hoping to scrape some of the energon off, but they're not much cleaner so she wipes her hands against her back, leaving multi-colored hand prints and smears on her shirt and really only making the problem worse. But she's not about to tell Groove that. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little scrape." She HOPES he doesn't know about the risk of energon poisoning.

Groove lets his helm rest against asphalt, still a bit dazed. "If you... say so... Thanks Andi, you're a saint, you are." He is none the wiser of the potential poisoning, but is sure to feel very guilty about it should he ever learn! "Owe ya'. If y'don't mind...think I'ma...zone out for a bit."

An enormous, black EDC truck arrives to provide Groove transport back to the Ark. They are courteously and pointlessly waved through by Deputy Coule, whom they ignore.

Andi Lassiter smiles at Groove, not letting on that she's already starting to feel a bit feverish. "Sounds like a good idea, Groove. Just take it easy, and you'll be fine." She turns to look over as the EDC truck arrives and moves carefully to climb back down off of the injured mech's chest plate. She then sees that the flour and baking soda have arrived, and starts directing whomever is handy to start spreading it over the spilled energon to neutralize it and make it easier to clean up. She also asks for one of the packages of flour to douse her own arms with. Her clothes...not much she can do about them now. "Deputy," she calls over to Coule. "We need to make sure that no one has come into contact with this energon, it can potentially cause allergic reactions." She tries to downplay how dangerous the stuff is, but still get them to react quickly to get it cleaned up.