Chinese Takeout

Beijing

Bicycle horns echo through the air amidst the ebb and flow of people making their way around this megalopolis of some 20 million people. Neon lights flash from platforms atop skyscrapers in the financial district in a display of modernity curiously at odds with the heart of the city, centered and focused on the 95 acres of Tiananmen Square and the ancient glory of the Forbidden City, once home to the Chinese Emperors. Fantastically coiled dragons glare down from the palace wall, the many-tiered black roof of an imperial pagoda rising up behind it.

Contents:

Boomslang Sandstorm Grimlock Americon Blurr Great Wall of China

Red Pagoda

Obvious exits: East &lt;E&gt; leads to P'yongyang. West &lt;W&gt; leads to Datong Coal Mines.

Ah, for three days beforehand, the cloud-seeders have been at work across several provinces, to make sure that it rained yesterday to wash out the streets of Beijing and to ensure that today would be sunny, what with the clouds bled dry yesterday. And indeed, today is looking like a beautiful day. The sun glints off ranks of Chinese soldiers marching down the street in precision formations, tanks ambling along behind them.

Hopefully nothing like a supervirus or cyberforming will strike.

Redshift has arrived.

"Me Grimlock say thems DANCE fine, but me Grimlock want know how thems fight!" So says Grimlock as he observes the latest series of Chinese tanks roll by. As a ranking Autobot, he's been given a choice viewing position alongside a smattering of other dignataries. As a Dinobot, Grimlock doesn't seem to care about little things like 'manners' or 'protocol.' He crosses his arms across his broad chest, and drums fingers against his bicep. "Boooooring. When thems kung fu guys show up?

Festival! There's a festival! And Blurr has some down time! Too much of it, really.

Blurr wouldn't be here because he really has no reason to be here except that he's /bored/ so he's been wandering around Earth (yes, the whole planet) seeing the sights in order to pass the time, of which he seems to have far too much. A whole day off! What's he going to do with a whole day off?

Blurr peers out from behind Grimlock. "So this is a military festival and not a partying festival I guess or will there be more than just a parade I mean I guess it's nice and all but just standing here and letting it pass seems like a pretty slow way of handling things maybe I can just check it out myself and if the partying isn't until later I can come back then."

"... I dunno if the military uses kung-fu guys, big Grim." Sandstorm remarked, somewhat distractedly. Mainly because he was paying more attention to the tanks, studying their details. How many wheels were turning the treads, where the seams in the armor plating were, that sort of thing his acute sense of detail picks out. "mmmm, I hope they armored the bottom of those things against landmines," he mutters to no one in particular.

"-Everything- seems slow to you, Blurr," he adds off-handedly towards the speedster.

Blurr says, "Well. Yes."

The tanks are maybe not the best design, and they look vaguely similar to the proprietary tank designs of various other countries, Sandstorm may note.

However, as if on cue, a troupe of martial artists, in period costume, very elabourate, turn the corner after a row of tanks. They look quite fierce but disciplined.

And then there's Powerglide, weaving through the air like a drunk, clipping buildings and knocking over lampposts. Except it's very obviously not Powerglide to anyone has ever actually met Powerglide.

Grimlock pauses, and glances down at Blurr. "...me not know what you just said." a pause. "'cept for 'Yes' part. Hn." he grunts- and then glances over at the martial artists. "Oh neat. Thems have big hats. Me Grimlock wonder if hat makes thems fight betterer or something." And then, 'Powerglide' arrives- and Grimlock glares up at the jet. "HEY! Stupids! Watch what you doing!" and Grimlock shakes an indignant fist at the jet. "Who am that guy!?"

There are far worse things than mere superviruses and cyberforming, however, things like...

THE DECEPTICONS! In disguise!

From around a street corner an odd sight appears. It looks like a mini-bot, but in green, white, and red colors. It appears to be wearing a sombrero for some reason.

Boomslang has disconnected.

"What the?" Sandstorm hops forward to grab one of the knocked over lightposts before it falls on something important. Or the spectators. Both would be rather bad. "Who the slag forgot to clear the airspace before a parade?"

Another strange-looking giant robot joins the small sombrero-clad one and the antagonizing 'Powerglide', this one painted in blue with red and yellow. His legs are far too long for his body, and the robot lurches drunkenly on it's stilt-like legs. It's chest has a garishly painted face on it, with bright red eyes and a mouth full of sharp, crooked teeth. "Grahhhh, me SWOOP no like smelly China! Me Swoop um.. No like anything!"

Blurr peers up against 'Powerglide.' His optics narrow. "It's a red jet but not any red jet I know but it's wearing an Autobot symbol so maybe he's a new arrival but if he is then why's he running into things oh maybe he's hurt I'll go find out!" And then he transforms and starts to race underneath the jet. "Hey! Hey! You up there are you all right you're not flying in a straight line and you keep running into buildings which is bad because there are people down here and hey look out!" he shouts as he ducks around some falling debris.

Suddenly, Blurr is a hovercar!

Not-Powerglide demands in a voice that sounds sort of like Powerglide... if he was a girl, "Hey you, blue guy, where do they keep the women? I seem to have misplaced my adoring fan base." Not-Powerglide lands on the sidewalk, cracking it, and crosses her arms over her cockpit. Then, she snaps over at Sandstorm, "You be careful with that lamp post! Damn things just fall over in the breeze."

"WHUT." Grimlock *GLARES!* at Fake-Swoop, and promptly storms over towards him- neatly passing by Not-Powerglide in the process! Of course, Grimlock also has to cross the street- and as such, he disrupts the parade, sending the big-hatted wushu warriors scattering! Nobody's gotten hurt, at least. That's good, right? "You no Swoop!" Grimlock accuses, attempting to grab hold of the impostor. "You no can trick me Grimlock!"

Soundwave has arrived.

Soundwave walks into the area.

This should have been mentioned earlier, but the mini-bot also has a very manly mustache. "My name is Afribot!" the minibot declares in a thick African accent. "China has oppressed MY PEOPLE for too long! I protest this display of Chinese agression! Boo! Down with China! China can go suck my..." Afribot pauses, then pulls out a manual from subspace. "...potato!" he finishes after referencing the wrong section.

Sandstorm fusses with the lightpost, and finally deciding its not going to stand up right again, just pulls it up entirely and lays it down. With that disaster taken care of, he stands back up, and shoots a glare at the 'supposed' autobots. "What the slag you guys think you're doing? Even us Wreckers don't get drunk in public this badly--"

Pause. Then his optics squint a bit farther in scrutiny. Something's not right here.

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; arrives in front of not-Powerglide and pops into robot mode. "Adoring fan-what who are you I don't recognize you and how would I know where they keep the women who're 'they' anyway and why are you asking about women and-" he turns and blinks towards Afribot. "Who're you?!"

Suddenly, Blurr is a robot!

'Swoop' waves a shoddy sword covered in a thin coating of aluminum foil, and grins happily at Grimlock as the big lumbering dinobot holds up the parade's progress. "Me SWOOP glad to see you Grimlock!" But he doesn't think Grimlock wants to give him a hug. with his unusually loooong legs, he steps back, weaving unnaturally, but managing to keep his balance. "Me SWOOP glad you Grimlock stopping boring parade! You Grimlock GOOOOOOD at terrible property damage and rampant destuction! Lets crush all the smelly meat-people!"

There is a parade going on, currently showing off some wushu warriors in intricate period costumes. However, it has been disrupted by some really, really bad aerobatics by someone who looks vaguely like Powerglide. Some debris has been knocked off buildings, and a few lamp posts have been knocked over. The parade organisers are frowning meaningfully.

Not-Powerglide answers Blurr, looking incredulous, "What do you /mean/, you're asking who I am? Do you want an autograph or something? I'm Astroglide! Powerglide's much superior sister, because I can fly in /space/. Now, my fan club, they must be around here somewhere..." She stomps about, ostensibly looking for said fan club.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, ".. Okay, what the fark bizarro world did we walk into -this- time?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "Hey guys do any of you know anything about Powerglide having a sister this is the first I've heard about it but I suppose it's possible I mean Sunstorm and Sideswipe are brothers although I never really understood that either but if they can be brothers I suppose Powerglide can have a sister can't he?"

Afribot turns his head towards Astroglide and momentarily breaks character, muttering, "Pfffthahahaha Astroglide! That's pretty funny in Ameri--uh..." He coughs, getting back into character. "...Africa! Africa, the land being OPPRESSED by China for our diamonds!" As Blurr accosts him, Afribot looks up at the speedy Autobot, and says, "I am Afribot! I just explained this to you! Do you not listen, like the Chinese do not listen?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "And now there's a tape claiming to be Afribot who's Afribot I've never met an Afribot has anyone else met an Afribot?"

Grimlock grrs! He tromps after 'Swoop'- now forced to take long striding strides through the crowds- thankfully, again, nobody is hurt...though a Dim Sum cart does meet a tragic end beneath Grimlock's foot. *KARUNCH!* "Get back here, big faker! Me Grimlock gon' crush YOU!" he grunts. "Nobody be fake Dinobot n' get 'way with it!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Grimlock says, "And FAKE SWOOP."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Saboteur Foxfire says, "Wha...?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Patchwork says, "What...?"

A beat up panel truck rolls up to one of the smaller shops here, and several men rush to the back and begin pulling cardboard boxes off the truck. One of the cardboard boxes tumbles off the edge of the truck's tailgate, spilling its contents, and the men rush over to the truck again to berate the one who is closest to it. They all start looking around on the ground as if something is missing, one holding a smaller box with an open top that fell out of the larger.

Blurr's optics flicker in confusion and he runs his mouth off... only over the radio. Then he starts chasing after 'Astroglide.' "Wait Astroglide I've never met you or even heard of you and Powerglide never mentioned you so when'd you get here and-" he spins towards Afribot. "Afribot we don't have an Afribot I've never met and Afribot when did you arrive here and wouldn't your people be Cybertronians and how is China oppressing us?"

Sandstorm is vagely more careful in crossing the street that Grimlock is, but that's not really saying much other than he's actually watching to not step on others. He still goes right through the middle of the progression.

Then saunters towards 'Afribot'. Stops, folds his arms over his chest as he leans over just enough to look him in the eyes. "You do realize that if you're really a transformer you're not from Africa in the first place, right?"

Astroglide seethes, "Of course Powerglide wouldn't mention me! I cow him with my gloriousness and make him feel insecure, which is... bad, and then he has to go to therapy sessions with Smokescreen. So, as a service to all Autobot everywhere," she thumps her chest with a fist, "I have exiled myself to fight Decepticons in the far reaches of space to prevent mass outbreaks of low esteem in the ranks."

Blurr scraches the back of his head. "I suppose that makes sense well about as much sense that anything concerning Powerglide makes which isn't much but if that's true why are you here and not in the far reaches of space because here is Earth which is one of the main centers of the war and not the far reaches of space which are, well, far."

Redshift takes some more long, careful steps as he tries to keep some distance between himself and Grimlock. The disguise surely isn't working, and he'd rather not have his arms ripped off byan angry Dinobot just yet. "You Grimlock destroy stinky food-cart GOOD! What you break next? Orphanage? Hos spittle? Let's go break stinky chinese hos spittle!"

Americon looks up at Blurr and Sandstorm incredulously from under his sombrero. "No, they are oppressing AFREEKA you silly men! And yes, I am an African! I was built there, so under African law, that makes me an African!" Then, whether or not the Autobots buy this explanation--they probably won't--he pulls out a pouch from subspace. "YOU WANT YOUR BLOOD DIAMONDS!?" he screams. "Here are you diamonds! Now leave Africa alone!" He then grabs handfuls of diamonds from his pouch and begins to throw them at the Chinese soldiers. Well, they're actually quartz crystals. The Decepticons cheaped out.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Patchwork says, "What's going on?"

"Spittle? That no make sense! You not just fake, you is STUPIDS too!" Grimlock growls, and leans over, snatching at the stumbling Swoop again- though this makes him blunder into another unforunate lampost! *clang!*

Nevermind Africans don't wear somberoes, but that'd be too easy to point out. "Oh, then who built you, hmmmm?" He's not buying it for a minute, knowing building a cybertronian is pretty damn well impossible without access to certain things, but he's sort of playing along with the whole thing until the guy trips himself up in the act.

At least until he starts chucking diamonds about. "Whoa! Hey, cut it out! Yer just gonna coax nothing but more violence acting like that!" Which is really odd sounding coming from a Wrecker, isn't it? Either way, Sandstorm tries to grab 'Afribot's' arm to keep him from whipping more of his crystals around.

Astroglide explains to Blurr, as if this is /obvious/, "I am /here/ because I am looking for my /fan club/. They get lost all the time and wouldn't know what to do without my magnificent guidance, you know. It's really rather tragic, but at least I give them something dashing and gallant and handsome to look at." She juts out her chin and strikes a pose, flexing her arms to show off her robot 'guns'. But she actually has guns on her arms, so maybe it works, anyway.

Also nevermind that China isn't actually oppressing Africa at the moment, although that may have more to do with geography than anything. Afribot says, "I was built by Sou--" Afribot stops himself, his face going blank. "Souso...sowa...tron. Yes, Sousosowatron." His antics go too far for Sandstorm, though, who then attempts to grab him by the arm. "HELP HELP I AM BEING OPPRESSED!" Afribot cries as he dangles from Sandstorm's arm, dropping his pouch full of diamonds. A bunch of poor Chinese citizens cluster around it, shoving the worthless contents into their pockets.

Blurr frowns. "Are you sure they got lost and didn't just well leave because if they leave they should be allowed to you know it's nice to hold people against their will not even if it's a fanclub and where'd you get a fanclub anyway I mean sure Transformers tend to have a few fans but it's usually best not to deal with them too much because they get strange and obsessive and sometimes creepy and they occasionally write the most disturbing stories..." As Blurr talk, he darts from one side of 'Astroglide' to another, examining her. Finally he blurts out, "You know you look a lot like a Seeker!"

Grimlock grunts. "Yeah, you no Swoop. You am BIG FAKER." and with that said, Grimlock catches the downed lampost- and uses it as a makeshift staff, sweeping it through the air in an attempt to knock 'Swoops' stilty legs out from under him! Grim pauses, and looks over towards Blurr and Sandstorm. "Me Grimlock say these guys am fakers!"

Redshift's optics widen, and he tries to warn off Grimlock. "No, don't hurt your BEST FRIEND SWOOP!" But his protestations are too little too late, and his wobbly stilt-legs are cleanly knocked out form under him, and 'Swoop' collapses in a heap on the street. "UGGGGG my legs! I mean.. UGGGGGG Me SWOOP's legs! You, Grimlock am meanest, most terrible Autobot ever!" He brandishes his wooden sword threateningly. "You so mean! You big ugly dumb Autobot!"

"No slag, Grim." Sandstorm holds the smaller mech up, ignoring the humies scattering about to pick up the 'diamonds'. Smirks cockily at his 'capture'. "Damn right you are being. So, do you want me to go over how much is wrong with this little getup of yours, or would you rather we cut to the chase? And see just what's under this hat." ... Wow, that was cliche sounding. But he tries to change the horribly out of place sombero off all the same. "I don't even wanna know where you got a hat in this size..."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Redshift says, "My disguise has failed! Didn't anticipate Grimlock being here."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Former Senator Americon says, "Stay calm, Redshift! You're going to be brutally mauled, but you MUST STAY IN CHARACTER!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Redshift says, "I feel so much better, thank you Americon."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Former Senator Americon says, "Anytime, pal!"

Astroglide gasps in shock and horror and attempts to slap Blurr across the face. She snarls, "Never compare me to a Seeker! Seekers are no-class flight school drop-outs! Not even fit to fly rubber turbofox slag to... to... China." Her lip wobbles a bit, and she rubs the back of her cone. "...anyway, I got the fan club mail order from Russia. Pretty sweet, huh?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Redshift says, "I hate you."

Combat: Astroglide misses Blurr with her Slap! (Grab) attack!

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Former Senator Americon D:

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astroglide says, "Actually, wouldn't a real Dinobot declare a blood feud and duel him back? For command of the Predacons?"

"Wait /fakers/?!" Blurr exclaims, shocked. Shocked, I tell you! His optics are wide open. "You mean they're /lying/?!" Suddenly, his right hand is rubbing his chin, though he didn't appear to actually move it there. "Although that would make a lot of sense, since none of them seem familiar except the ones who look nothing like who they claim to be and /hey!/" And suddenly he's about two feet to the left of where Astroglide's hand was going. "Watch it you could hurt someone like that and anyway it sounds like you're a big faker like your fake fanclub and you'd better get out of here or... or..." there's a pause, which lasts all of 8 microseconds, "or I'll tell everyone what a big faking faker you are!"

Grimlock looooms over Not-Swoop, crouching down over the imposter to the point where Grimlock fills his whole field of vision! The wooden sword *pokes* into Grimlock's chest...but does no damage, since it is wood, and Grimlock is not a vampire. "Me Grimlock -am- mean. But you no am Autobot!" and with that, Grimlock attempts to yank that red crest-hat right off of 'Swope's head!

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Former Senator Americon says, "Hm, worth a shot!"

And from under the hat, there is... an Afro!? Yes, a big black Afro springs out once the sombrero is lifted. "Now you are robbing my sombrero! Is it not enough that the Chinese take my diamonds? What else do you want from me? MY FREEDOM!?"

Astroglide protests, "I'm as real as it gets, baby." She juts out her hip and slaps her hand it, adding, "Mmhm." Then, she raises a hand to the side of her helmet and tries to lean in towards Blurr, "But just between you and me, I have no idea who those people are." She points at Afribot and Swope.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "Astorglide says she doesn't know who Afribot and Swope are so they /must/ be Decepticons but would that mean that she really is an Autobot or if she's really a Decepticon and doesn't know them than that means that they're really Autobots doesn't it except what Autobot would call himself Swope that might make the Dinobots mad and making the Dinobots mad is bad bad bad!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Grimlock says, "Uuuuh. Yeah. Me Grimlock angry!"

Sandstorm raises an optic at this. ".. Oh for frackin' hell, not -this- gag." Tossing the sombero off over his shoulder, he makes a grab for the afro next to yank -that- off as well. "I can do this aaaaaaaall night, twerp." The screaming and accusations don't really seem to bother him, he's been called a lot worse things. Just in one night, after fighting Crude.

Blurr gives a confused frown. "So wait if you don't know them that means they really /are/ Decepticons and that you're an Autobot unless you're lying but if you're lying that means you're a Decepticon and they're Autobots but I'm pretty sure we don't have an Autobot named Afribot unless you're lying about not knowing them and..." Suddenly, Blurr's hands are to either side of his head. "Primus I'm so confused!"

Redshift flails around and howls in pretend pain as his had-crest is violently ripped off. "OH NO! You, Grimlock are trying to MURDER ME in the street! Me Swoop am doing nothing wrong and him big meany-face is rippig off my head!" He flails impotently as Grimlock's huge fist tears apart the hastily-designed disguise. "OH THE HUMANITY! Dinobots are so terrible! Me Swoop just want to die for being part of such a horrible organization!" Wait, would Swoop really say 'organization'?

Astroglide polishes one of her hands with a buffing rag, idly, and she agrees, pleasantly enough, "Yeah, I have that affect on people." She watches Swope and Grimlock's unfolding drama with some interest. Hey, better Redshift than her.

The Afro appears to be stuck to Afribot's head really well, so it doesn't yield right away. "ARRRGH! So that is what you want!? You want my head? That is what you want?! Well, you cannot have it!" He squirms and struggles, trying to break away, but Sandstorm's grip is too strong for him. "Aieeee!"

Grimlock grunts at Swope. "Dinobots no am made out of cheap stuff that break so easy! See?" And Grimlock tosses the crest aside- where many tourists and reporters soon start snapping away pictures. Grimlock ignores them, of course, and then hmms. "Dinobots no use wood swords, either!" *snap!* "How dumb you think me Grimlock am?!"

Blurr steps forward and jabs a finger towards Astroglide. "All right enough of this I don't know who you are but you're giving Autobots a bad name and the Dinobots and Powerglide already do that enough on their own so you'd better stop or I'll... I'll..." Hmm. He already threatened to reveal her for a fraud. He shrugs and loudly shouts, "EVERYBODY THIS AUTOBOT IS A FAKE AUTOBOT!" while pointing at Astroglide.

Astroglide looks left. She looks right. She hates doing this, but they're here to make the Autobots look bad, so... she pulls out a bottle of window wiper fluid and dumps it down her face, crying, "Boo-hoo! This is how you treat a returning Autobot? By calling me a fake? Everyone, Autobots call their veteran war heroes fakes! And their health insurance doesn't cover missing limbs!"

Sandstorm tugs a few times, then frowns as the afro won't come off. "Well this is certainly getting hairy." With a grunt, he lets go of Afribot with his other hand.

If only so he can grab the afro with BOTH hands and start shaking it quite violently, making it hard to tell if he's trying to pull it off or rattle the robot out of it. It probably looks rather humorous as he shakes back and forth in the disloding effort. "Only Junkions and Sweeps have hair, and it's made of metal at least!"

Angry african rhythms begin playing from a direction that's difficult to discern.

Sandstorm pauses with trying to shake the hair off and looks up, trying to figure out where the music is coming from. "Oh now what the slag is that?"

Ok, that's starting to hurt. "GYAAHHHH!" Afribot yells as he is shaken up and down by his Afro. "NO! Please, sir, stop! No! Aaaaggghhh!" Then finally, Sandstorm yanks a bit too hard, something gives, and Afribot's head pops right off. His body flies off, landing right on top of an attractive, uniformed young woman from the Chinese Women's Brigade. She isn't injured, but Afribot's body is pinning her to the ground in a rather embarrassing position, and it's spasming a bit, like an overly rowdy robot boyfriend. "EEEE!" she screams.

"But you've got all your limbs!" Blurr protests, exasperated, "And you're not crying that's window wiper fluid and you've been lying all along and our health insurance does /too/ cover missing limbs just ask Kup you wouldn't /believe/ how many times he's lost his limbs and..." he jabs a finger towards Astroglide. "You're really a /Decepticon/ aren't you?!"

Blurr may be a bit slow on the uptake.

"Uhh.. Me Swoop am so dumb me sold sword for wooden one!" He protests, and tries to scoot away on his blue-painted bottom while Grimlock glowers. "Me Swoop think you, Grimlock pretty dumb! Reallllll dumb!" He says, and in a flurry of motion, he leaps up, and jets in his boots send him thrusting skyward. "You Grimlock also SLOW! Me Swoop run away to DINOBOT island now to watch TV and eat monkey fingers!"

Combat: Redshift begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

But it's the only thing he's slow at!

Sandstorm looks down. "Ooops." He comments, but he doesn't sound all that sorry about it. "Well, I guess I got a-head in this game." The triplechanger stoops down, holding the disembodied nogging in one hand as he reachs to pick the body up off the woman. "Geez, that's no way to get a girlfriend, either."

Grimlock chases Swope away! He grunts, and then crosses his arms across his chest. He hmms, and looks back to the reporters. "See? Him FAKE." he notes, smug. "Real Swoop actually TURN INTO DINO. Hnf." he shakes his head, and looks over at the rest of the festival- noting the other robots blundering around through what was once a tribute to China's worldly sucess and heritage. "Hey, fakers still here?"

Afribot's apparently lifeless body dangles from Sandstorm's grip helplessly. The members of the Chinese Women's Brigage, including and especially the one Afribot landed on, have gathered together and are hurling insults at Sandstorm. Or Afribot. Or both. Hard to tell.

"Got one right here, Grimmy." Sandstorm would probably take more note of the yelling, if he actually knew Chinese. Or whatever it is they're speaking. Though the sound of pissed female is kind of universal, that much is for sure. "Hey now, don't yell at me because he went to peaces." He shrugs a bit, and throws the limb body towards the Dinobot. "Here, Grimlock, have a new chewtoy."

Grimlock snatches Afribot out of the air as he's tossed! He hmms, and gives the poor tapebot an experimental shake. "Hmm. Me Grimlock think you Sandstorm kill him. Good job!" he declares, and shoots him a thumbs up with his free hand!

Astroglide looks Blurr over and purses her lips. Finally, she declares, "Whatever, you're all glitter-loving freaks." She raises her voice, "Autobots love glitter! It's unnatural!" Then, she lifts off and perches on a roof, making faces at Blurr. ... Autobots don't do that. The flying as a robot. Maybe they make faces at Blurr. Name set.

Sandstorm peers off to the side. They're not turning those tanks around, are they. "Well, that's dandy that I did.. but I think the natives are getting a bit restless these wannabes ruined their fun."

Then SUDDENLY! Afribot comes back to life, transforming first into tape mode and becoming too small to hold onto, then transforming into some sort African bald eagle! "Haha!" Afribot says from his eagle head. "Have fun dealing with the fallout, in Am--er, Africa! (In America.)" And with that, Afribot blasts away on his thrusters, leaving China and its multitudinous population behind.

Americon's robot legs pop out metallic feather-like objects as they and his lower torso split apart, also revealing an eagle head. The arms and robot head join the main body, and his guns convert into tail feathers and rocket launchers. Americon is now a bald eagle!

Combat: Robotic Bald Eagle &lt;Americon&gt; begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Blurr and Redshift

"I knew it! I knew it! You're a Decepticon! And hey, that strange tape is getting away don't worry Grimlock I'll make sure to stop him!" And Blurr is suddenly a hovercar, and he chases after Americon, firing with low power vehicle mode lasers. He can keep pace with Americon easily enough, but the tape manages to eventually lose Blurr due to the fact that Blurr can't fly. :(

Then Blurr gets distracted and finds something else to do in Mongolia.

Suddenly, Blurr is a hovercar!

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; strikes Robotic Bald Eagle &lt;Americon&gt; with his Low Power Alt Mode Lasers! (Grab) attack!

Drat, Afribot's parting mockery is rudely interrupted by lasers! "OW OW OW!" Afribot cries as he ascends higher and higher to escape the speedy Autobot.

... "That little bastard just gets more and more annoying," Sandstorm grunts, catching sight of the fleeing cassette-birds more familiar form.

Catechism looks left and right again. Then, she sighs and calls out, "Astroglide, Maximise!" Autobots do that, right? "...no, that's not right. Astroglide, jet mode?" She frowns. Then, she transforms and takes off, her cover blown.

Catechism transforms to her jet mode, which is quite astoundingly simple for the coneheaded model that she is.

Combat: XF-35B Astral Lightning &lt;Catechism&gt; begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

================================== Reports =================================== Message: 9/5                      Posted        Author Chinese Festival Interrupted! Sun Jun 13   Grimlock -- Associated Press, Beijing China: The annual 'Forward Looking Prosperity Festival' in downtown Beijing was interrupted today by the intervention of several Autobots. A delegation of Autobots was present for diplomatic reasons, but they soon outstayed their welcome when bickering amongst the Autobot delegation broke out- resulting in several thousand dollars worth of property damage, and the interruption of the Forward Looking Prosperity Festival Parade. Autobots identified as Grimlock, Sandstorm, and Blurr had a brief confrontation with Autobots called Astroglide, Swoop, and Afribot. No spectators were hurt, though the schedule for the entire festival has been thrown off. In response, the People's Republic of China has issued a preliminary statement banning any and all robotic life-forms from its borders, promising "swift and severe retribution" should this edict be violated. Stay tuned for updates to this still developing story!

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