Lunar Base Raid

Moon

In the dusky twilight zone between the Moon's reflected light and the void of space, extended shadows from the rims of shallow craters and bleak, worn canyons crawl slowly across the lakes of ancient dust like dark claws retreating from the sun. All is still, as it should be in an airless environment, except for occasional, inexplicable vibrations that seem to come from the underlying basaltic rock of this region.

Contents:

Mindwipe

Blot Monster

Tailgate

Hardstrike

Risk - Lunar Supply Station

Chair

Obvious exits:

Launch leads to Earth Orbit.

Combat action in the Sol System is heating up by the day-the Decepticons have all but taken the areas around Saturn, and their capture of the Pluto Weapons Facility does not sit will with the Autobots or EDC. For that reason, the Autobots are fortifying the Lunar Base in orbit of Earth for functions as a staging area-further sorties to retake the lost positions and secure new ones will require the aid of the EDC, and they require an appopriate base.

Hardstrike moves in a slow hover patrol pattern around the perimeter of the Supply Station, whilst EDC Technicians and Minibots scurry about, reinvigorating the old facility for it's new use.

1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > drives along the surface of the moon -- with absolutely no explanation of how he got here or why he's on the moon in the first place -- blaring out Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" and kicking up a trail of moondust. Of course, no one else can actually hear the song, because there's no air and he's got the windows down. So everyone within a reasonable line of sight gets the following transmission, horribly out of key and off-tempo, over their radios: "DoooOOon't STOOOP, belEEEEEvin'! HooOOOoLD ON TO THAT"

EARLIER TODAY:

Tailgate is sitting at a primary computer station in the Orion Pax, drumming on the control console with his hands. "Oooh, ooh, computer! You gotta listen to this drum solo! I've found my true calling!" BAM BLAM CLANG THWAP BLAM! Tailgate accidentally cracks a monitor screen. "Oh, oops! Sorry! Well, you know what they say, art is suffering!"

The computer for the Orion Pax suddenly spits out 'new orders' for Tailgate: YOU ARE TO REPORT TO SHUTTLEBAY ONE FOR IMMEDIATE REASSIGNMENT TO: THE MOON.

Tailgate responds, "Oh man, that's awesome! I've never been to the Moon before! I wonder if anyone there will like me.."

NOW:

"FEEEEEEEELLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN'!"

Sideswipe is bored. Bored, bored, bored. Boredey, boredy, boredy, bored. Buh-ored. BOR-ed. He's currently in robot mode, sitting on some crates with his back to the construction in general. He's watching Hardstrike and is pointedly doing the best that he can to pretend that tailgate doesn't even exist. As Tailgate begins to get closer he does the worst possible thing and transforms -- playing dead. A crimson lambo sitting there, bored and alone. On the moon.

Sideswipe drops down into his Lamborghini altmode.

Giant Bat < Mindwipe > was sent by Hun-Grrr to hypnotise Blot into not stinking. He does not think it works that way. So, Mindwipe has decided that the Decepticons will attack the moon, because there is no air there, and he won't have to smell anything. Mindwipe didn't really get his rank for any tactical prowess, it should be noted. Cough. He turns back around to address the Decepticons with him over shortwave, //Supply stations! Do try to not be overly destructive to the landscape. We want to take this station intact. The Autobots, however... ruin them.//

Cybertronian Jet < Excise > soars in on the giant Decepti-bat's right flank as they soar over the lunar landscape. This moon sucks, Excise thinks. He recalls Cybertron's moons. They were so awesome. They were more than just moons. They were moon /bases/. The only /base/ this moon has is a crummy ol' supply station. Well, Excise thinks as he consoles himself, hopefully the supply station will have lots of goodies inside for them to swipe. < < Yes Mindwipe, by your command! > > The triplechanger replies. He didn't hear what Mindwipe said but he got the gist of the fact that he was expected to reply with something, and this is usually a safe thing to say. < < We'll totally rid this place of all the bad spirits and stuff. > >

Blot Monster is simply doing what he usually does. Blindly following orders from Hun-Grrr or anyone for that matter really. Hun-Grrr has told him to work with Mindwipe so that's what he's doing. Blot transmits to Mindwipe, < < Intac? BLOT no know what intac is. > > The Blot Monster bounds along the surface in large leap-like strides bringing up the rear unlike the others he's not a cool flier.

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "We got Decepticons incoming on the Lunar Supply Station!"

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "YES!!!!!!"

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, ". . . I mean, darn."

< Autobot > Mirage says, "... Huh."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "...anything to keep that guy from singing."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Support personnel is gonna evacuate, but they might need a ride if this gets ugly."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "You look after that, Big Guy. I'll be punching the 'cons in the face like they deserve."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Lunar Supply Station? Man, I'm nowhere near that. Uh..... actually...... I..... have....... a....... question....?"

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "Hey, Tailgate? The Decepticons blew up that cute cargo shuttle you were flirting with last week."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Yes?"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Shut up, Sideswipe. What's a Lunar?"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Look around. You see where you are?"

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "I'm serious! It was on Europa when the Terrorcons attacked!"

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "You totally need to avenge her, Bud."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Uh, yeah, I'm on THE MOON. It's awesome. Shut up, Sideswipe."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Lunar means 'on the moon'."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Oh. Okay. Uh.. I have another question then."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "Ooooooookay, but don't say I wasn't trying to help a buddy."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Yeah?"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "What's a Supply?"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "I....look, see those three Decepticons coming towards us?"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Shoot 'em."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "I don't understand you and your fancy technobabble! Just give it to me straight!"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Stop. The. Decepticons."

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "what's going on?"

Hardstrike is making another turn around the base, wondering why Tailgate feels the need to sing over shortwave, when he spots the incoming Decepticons. That's not good. He immediately speeds up, taking in the three individuals nearing him. Two fliers is bad-but not as bad the three that he'd expect form a usual Decepticon raiding party. The 'bot radios in broadband towards the station, < < Incoming Decepticons! Support personnel, beat it! > > The EDC Techs and Minibots don't need another warning, and immediately begin scurrying off in the opposite direction.

Hardstrike, meanwhile, fires off a few laser blasts in the air, aiming for the giant bat-thing he doesn't recognize. < < Hey, UGLY! > >

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Giant Bat < Mindwipe > with his Laser attack!

1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > just happens to be nearby when his allies report the incoming Decepticons. Probably because he's been doing laps around the Supply Station for the last seventeen hours. The car pops up into robot mode, and having forgotten that there's low gravity here, Tailgate flies way up into the air, arms flailing. He doesn't have a real face to express with, so no one can tell he's screaming except for the ear-splitting, "WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIAAAAAAUUUUUGH!" coming in over the radio. Looks like he's headed straight for one of the jets, completely by accident!

The Pontiac Firebird isn't a mindless machine after all! It jumps up off the ground and transforms into Tailgate!

Combat: Tailgate misses Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIAAAAAAUUUUUGH! (Ram) attack!

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "hmm....I betcha if I jumped I could make it."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "I bet you if you jumped you'd DIE!"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Oh, also.."

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "nah...."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIAAAAAAUUUUUGH!"

Countach LP500S < Sideswipe > totally peels off the second the Decepticons come on his scanners, his wheels leaving little showers of moon dust behind him as he fishtails around in a very large circle. Somewhere along the line of things he transforms and engages his back-mounted thrusters to jet-skate across the lunar surface. Finally! Something to do! He eyes the three Decepticons present on the way in and goes for the bounding one.

"Way-Hey-Hey!" He calls to Blot as he approaches at very high speed. He's not quite there yet, but he'll be there soon! In the meantime he calls his pistol from subspace and lets fly with a low powered laser blast.

Complete with standard sound effects, Sideswipe switches to Robot mode! Hold onto your hats!

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his Pew Pew Pew (Pistol) attack!

< < Oh yeah, here we go, >  > Excise transmits, getting excited as he spies Autobots mingling around the supply base. He watches the EDC techs and minibots back off, and sneers. < < Oh, going so soon? > > he transmits over shortwave broadband. < < Come on, fleshlings! Stay and join the party! I have some missiles here for you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha- hack, ack.. ech... *cough*... ah.. ha! > > Excise is quite clearly angling himself for an attack run on the retreating support personnel when Tailgate fumbles into the air, damn well nearly running into him. < < Hey! Watch where you're going! > > Excise exclaims, veering off to avoid Tailgate. Momentarily forgetting about the retreating folks, he gives Tailgate a zap with his ventral electro-turret for good measure.

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > misses Tailgate with his Disruptor attack!

Giant Bat < Mindwipe > gets shot by a... tank... thing? He is honestly affronted, sir! Any thoughts of improving Blot's vocabulary are dashed. The bat circles above the hovertank, looki8ng to see if he can figure out where the optical sensors on it are. Hmm, hard to say, really. So he dives down low to try to knock the hovertank with a blow from his wing.

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > strikes Hardstrike with his Wing Tap (Punch) attack!

Blot Monster continues along leaving small puddles of goopey moon dust each time he lands. Some of his slimey muck breaks loose while he's bounding. It forms into nice little orbs and kinda' drift away into space. Blot Monster doesn't even notice he's been shot at till the laser blasts nail him in the chest. He doesn't like this one bit.....as per orders he's allowed to trash the bots so he summons forth his only ranged weapon in this mode as he makes a horrible hacking sound. Blot Monster summons forth a disgusting blob of phlem like slime and spits it at Sideswipe.

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his Blot Snot! attack!

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "Tailgate?"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "WHAT?!"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "He's fine. I think."

Mindwipe

Tailgate yells back at Excise (again on the radio) as he arcs back down in a perfect parabola, "YOU SUCK! IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR STUPID UGLY POINTY --" and he thuds straight into a moon dune. Extricating himself from the giant pile of dust, he brandishes his light gun (today it's painted Safety Orange to indicate that it's a practice weapon) and starts firing wildly into the air as he runs back toward the supply depot. "Autobots Assemble!" he yells out, clearly too late to be of any help and clearly trying to take over command of the group. "And.. shoot them! Uh.. with guns! THE PERFECT PLAN! I'm totally as good at this stuff as Rodimus, huh?"

Combat: Tailgate strikes Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his Fisher Price Junior Laser Pistol < High Power > (Laser) attack!

Combat: You took 3 damage.

Mindwipe's wing bangs into Hardstrike's armor, causing the hovering tank to shudder from the blow, and drift backwards slightly-he hates low gravity environments, they throw off his aim. The Autobot transforms as the hypnotist swerves upwards, knowing that any weapons fire at this close a range might catch him in the explosion as well. He throws his shoulder towards the flying Decepticon, hoping the speed of his transformation and large size will be enough to body check his foe back down.

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "you think?"

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Giant Bat < Mindwipe > with his Smash attack!

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "I'm fine! You're fine! We're aaaall FINE! Now shut it, I'm tryin' to concentrate here! JEEZ!"

Sideswipe throws himself to the side in a nimble thruster blast as he closes the distance on Blot. He's smiling at this point. Smiling really quite dangerously. It is almost disarming. "Woah!" He says as hits the deck as hard as he can to avoid the flying snotpile. It will crystalize in the dust right behind him. Rolling forward in one of those awesome and incredibly overdone moves that one sees in action films all the time he attempts to slip right between Blot's legs and pop up behind him with a kick at the back of one of his knees.

Combat: Sideswipe misses Blot Monster with his Kick attack!

Cybertronian Jet < Excise > scowls (inwardly cause he's a jet) as Tailgate disses him so hard. < < HEY! > > he groals as he completely forgets about his earlier quest to annihilate the helpless support units. < < I may be stupid and ugly but I am NOT... >  > he hesitates, <  < Wait, what was that third thing? > > the pointy Decepticon asks. The triplechanger jerks back and forth, trying to avoid the rampant laserfire that soar upwards at him. But there's just too many for him and Excise gets struck three or four times. Oddly, he doesn't seem too badly hurt. Did Tailgate have his gun set on low? < < Excise to Blot and Mindwipe. I've come under attack by their leader. He's looking to regroup the Autobots now. I'm going to take him out. > > The Decepticon locks in on Tailgate and advances on him to strafe him from the 'air', hopefully preventing Tailgate from reaching the supply camp.

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > misses Tailgate with his Electro Strafe (Laser) attack!

Giant Bat < Mindwipe > gets knocked out of the air and hits the ground, kicking up a cloud of lunar fines. He props himself up with the 'thumb' region of his wings, and he swivels his head around, murmuring over general shortwave radio in a soothing voice, < < Ah, yes. Show me your optics, Autobot, and I will show you your true enemy. He's right over there. You see him? > > Mindwipe tries to catch Hardstrike's gaze with his own and hit him some sub-optic radiation to bend his will.

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > strikes Hardstrike with his Sub-Optic Radiation attack!

Hardstrike's vehicular body pulls upwards from the middle, and begins to re-shape into his robot body.

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "On what, Tailgate?"

Blot Monster shambles forward at full speed still. He doesn't even slow as the Autobot slips under his leggs. In a case of wrong place right time Blot avoids the kick attack. < < BLOT hungry! > > he exclaims over general broadcast. In a somewhat agile move he turns and leaps at Sideswipe his toothy maw opened wide. *CHOMP*

Combat: Blot Monster strikes Sideswipe with his BLOT BITE! (Kick) attack!

Hardstrike doesn't have any idea who this is, and doesn't know well enough to ignore the Decepticon. He looks right at Mindwipe, as he produces a sword hilt from a leg compartment. It ignites in a glowing red blade, < < I think I know who my 'true enemy' is, and I'm looking right at him! > > The Autobot retorts, and lunges forwards. But his mind does something funny, and he begins to feel fuzzy around the edges. The sword is swung...but is he swinging at the right target?

Combat: Hardstrike's Energy Sword attack on Giant Bat < Mindwipe > goes wild!

Combat: Hardstrike misses Tailgate with his Energy Sword attack!

Tailgate stops running abruptly for a reason /completely unrelated/ to being shot at, and Excise's shots pass harmlessly over his head. As the landscape in front of him gets blasted, he looks up as best he can and shakes his fist. "Augh! You Decepticons are always causing so much environmental damage! Well I'll have NONE OF THAT!" He flips over into car mode and tries to follow the jet, charging up his hood magnet. "Get down here and fight!" Apparently he thinks his magnet will pull Excise down to the lunar surface. "Get down here and fight me on the MOOOOON RIIIIVER! WIDER THAN A MILE!" he starts singing again, headlights flashing in time.

Tailgate flips forward onto his face and pulls in his arms, changing into a classic Pontiac Firebird!

Combat: Tailgate sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: 1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > misses Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his Ferrocobalt Hood Magnet attack!

Sideswipe reels backwards as he is crashed into and then his left forearm is bitten into. His armor plating crumples like foil under the blow and it is clear that the Blot Monster has at least enough freakish strength to back up his monsterous lack of intellect. "Woah, Woah, Woah." He says. "Come on now, at least buy me a drink first." He yanks his arm back hard, tearing off more armor but he gets himself free. He quickly drops to a crouch and then fires his thrusters as he rises to a stand in a vicious, rocking uppercut aimed straight for the bottom of the Blot Monster's chin; his right fist visibly glowing with blue energy as he does.

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his HADOKEN! attack!

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "ARGLFLARG ARGH YOU MADE ME MISS, STEELBED!"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Made you miss? I'm swinging at Mindwipe!"

< Autobot > Tailgate, completely devoid of irony, yells, "I'm surrounded by incompetent morons!"

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "you need help out there, hardstrike? since I'm not gonna get a straight answer out of Tailgate."

Blot Monster is content with chewing up the chunk of Sideswipes forearm and has no clue he's being set up for a massive uppercut. He's struck and sent reeling but as he does so he flails his tiny arms in an effort to claw up and tenderize his snack. There's a horrible crunching sound his snack forced abruptly down his throat. There's a horrible gagging sound and his lower jaw is dented badly. Blot Monster finds himself knocked squarely on his aft but hopefully those little arms did thier job whle Sideswipe was in close for the upper cut.

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Can't talk, killing bats."

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his Icky Clawing attack! [Pulled -1]

Giant Bat < Mindwipe > would have prefered to see Hardstrike skewer Tailgate, but he'll take what he gets. He offers helpfully, < < Perhaps I should make it easier for you to hit. You seem to be having trouble with your aim. > > The bat emits a staticky radio screech that gausses monitors for miles around but doesn't seem to do much, otherwise? At least radio carries in the vaccuum.

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > misses Sideswipe with his Do Not Adjust Your Set Area attack!

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > strikes Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his Do Not Adjust Your Set Area attack!

Combat: You took 0 damage.

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Cybertronian Jet < Excise > 's Agility. (Crippled)

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > strikes Blot Monster with his Do Not Adjust Your Set Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Blot Monster's Agility. (Crippled)

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > misses 1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > with his Do Not Adjust Your Set Area attack!

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > strikes Hardstrike with his Do Not Adjust Your Set Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Hardstrike's Agility. (Crippled)

< < Environmental damage?! > > Excise snorts, <  < What are you, retarded or something? There's nothing here! Just dirt and more dirt! Environment damage... hah! > > The triplechanger jet stays on Tailgate, planning on strafing him until he's good and dead. When Tailgate transforms and activates his magnet of doom, Excise shifts into robot mode, drawing out a pair of sais from his subspace scabbard. He angles himself so the sais are pointing forward and then activates his own jets, blasting towards the minibot and using the magnets to speed him up. But before he makes it there, Excise suddenly catches a wave of static. It throws him off course and towards Hardstrike, who is clearly right there!

More than meets the eye! Excise transforms into his powerful robot mode.

Combat: Excise misses Hardstrike with his Blade Master attack! [Pulled -3]

Sideswipe rises upwards like a bad anime character on his thrusters; floating back down nimbly in the light lunar gravity. He raises both fists into the easy and relaxed stance of an experienced prizefighter and is clearly relishing the moment. The fact that Blot is between him and Mindwipe probably saves him from the evil radio waves but it might have been some freak space condition too. He approaches Blot with both fists raised -- reaching out and attempting to backhand the mutant thing across the face in a brutally powerful slap. "Come on, what you got, huh? Whatcha got?! I've fought punching bags that were more responsive than you." The hand comes back the other way as he tries to slap him again on the way by. "At least make me work for it! Fight, ya overgrown slag ingot!"

1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > yells out, "Augh, my monitor is gaussing something awful! No, wait, it's okay now! Hey, where'd everybody go?" The car stops and transforms, pointed in the wrong direction, and Tailgate scratches his head with his hand, which happens to be holding a pistol. Which happens to be pointed sort of in Excise's direction, and happens to go off. "HEY YOU GUYS!"

The Pontiac Firebird isn't a mindless machine after all! It jumps up off the ground and transforms into Tailgate!

Combat: Tailgate sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Tailgate misses Excise with his Fisher Price Junior Laser Pistol < High Power > (Laser) attack!

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his Double Slap! attack! [Pulled -4]

Hardstrike swings his sword for a few more moments, until his vision adjusts, and his mind de-fuzzes; and he sees Tailgate nearby, with Mindwipe behind him. The Autobot turns, "What in Primus did yo-guh..." And his optics meet the bat's once more, causing him to pause as he is lulled into a hypnotic state. Thankfully, Excise's sai whizzing past his head snaps him out of it, and the autobot's optics narrow. "Cute. Real cute." He averts his gaze from Mindwipe's faceplate, and an arm rises to punctuate the point as he fires off a rock from one of his shoulders for the bat.

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Hardstrike misses Giant Bat < Mindwipe > with his 4 attack!

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Where'd everyone go?!"

Blot Monster snarls at the mockery his monsterous face is taking a beating, < < BLOT show you! Him buurn. > > He roars mightily his maw filling with a tiny little flame that soon grows into a ferocious ball of flame. With a surge of fire that grows and expands even with the lack of oxygen the self sustaining fuel source burns as well as ever hopefully engulfing the bot in flames.

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his Fire Breath attack! [Pulled -2]

< Autobot > Grimlock says, "Huh?"

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "*fwoosh* Can't talk, punching 'Cons in the face."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Not /you/, no one cares where /you/ went!"

Giant Bat < Mindwipe > cannot really tell what his static did, but if he knew who he hit and who he did, he would be ashamed of himself, if he had any sense of shame at all. Luckily for him, he does not. He does have a sense of when to dodge, though, and he ducks down, and then rises up into his robot mode, viper pistol in hand. < < Ah, yes. Nearly impaling your comrade is perhaps the definition of cute. > > He then pops off a shot at Hardstrike with the pistol.

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > misses Hardstrike with his Viper Pistol - Low Level Energy (Disruptor) attack!

< Autobot > Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock care!"

< Autobot > Tailgate scoffs, "You're the only one."

< Autobot > Grimlock says, "Grrrh."

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "Hey Grimlock."

Excise winds up plowing into a group of enemies. He wasn't even aiming for that one. < < Thanks! > > he calls out to his friend for the assistance. Now that he's in close, the aerial mech flexes his wings and brings the razor sharp blades to bear. In an environment that isn't as exotic as this they'd make a really awesome 'ting' noise as the sun glints off of them, but sadly it is not to be. Evading as best he can, the mech charges towards the closest enemy, neatly ducking under a point blank shot and trying to jab his foe right in the midsection with a vicious thrust. < < I'll deal with him shortly, >  > he transmits.

Combat: Excise misses Tailgate with his Blade Master attack!

Sideswipe dissapears in a rolling cloud of expanding fire. When it settles there is only ashes to be found; and for a moment or two it might appear that Blot has in fact roasted him to tiny Sideswipe bits. But then his voice is heard over the broadband. "Hey, Ugly! Up here!" With a click, a protective visor slides over his optics and what looks like a rocket flies down towards Blot. It will either hit him and explode, or hit the ground and explode but when it does it is with the brilliance of an uncaged star. With no atmosphere to filter it the magnesium phosphate exlosion is even more powerful than ever and will leave anyone who happens to be glancing that way with spots in their optics in the best of times and complete static in the worst as it overwhelms optic sensors.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Excise with his Magnesium Phosphorous Flares Area attack!

Combat: You took 0 damage.

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Excise's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Sideswipe misses Blot Monster with his Magnesium Phosphorous Flares Area attack!

Combat: Sideswipe misses Tailgate with his Magnesium Phosphorous Flares Area attack!

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Hardstrike with his Magnesium Phosphorous Flares Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Hardstrike's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Sideswipe misses Giant Bat < Mindwipe > with his Magnesium Phosphorous Flares Area attack!

Tailgate just looked at you.

Tailgate doesn't even notice Excise is there until the blade whiffs right over his head. Someone obviously has forgotten to account for the much smaller height of the minibot. Tailgate turns around, just in time to miss the flares as well. Talk about oblivious. "ACK! Oh, Primus, you scared the crap out of me. Hey, I'm lost, do you think you could help me find.. uh.. hey, you look a little.. uh.. glassy-opticked there. Huh, weird. What's that purple thing? HEY YOU'RE TRYING TO TRICK ME! I NEED AN ADULTBOT! HELP!" Tailgate flies into a mini-rage, kicking, flailing, screaming, and biting. Well, except he has no mouth and thus no teeth, so it's more like creative face-butting.

Combat: Tailgate sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Tailgate strikes Excise with his Let My People Go attack!

Combat: You took 5 damage.

Hardstrike is raises an arm, and peeks his optics out just in time to see Mindwipe firing his pistol at the Autobot. He ducks to one side, unfortunately turning to look directly at the igniting flare fired by Sideswipe. < < You slagheap, not so close to the rest of u-ARGHHH! > > The Flash overloads his optics, forcing a preripheral systems reboot. And leaving the Autobot blind surrounded by his foes. He fires blindly a few weak shots in the direction of where he remembers Mindwipe being, hoping to fend him off as he gropes about...

Combat: Hardstrike misses Giant Bat < Mindwipe > with his Pot Shot (Disruptor) attack!

Blot Monster isn't in his first rodeo and is tipped off by the bot yelling Hey Ugly....that happens to be a name he's very familiar with so he responds to it well. With a mighty thrust of his rear leggs Blot is sent flying upwards at an accelerated speed bearing down on Sideswipe and avoiding the flare. A tiny clawed fist extended he attempts to hit Sideswipe with a flying uppercut like punch taking a page right outta' his own book. < < BLOT SKOOOOSH! > > is simply transmitted.

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his Supa' Space Uppercut (Punch) attack!

Giant Bat < Mindwipe > ends up taking a really, really long time to transform because the animator is using stock footage from one of the Japanese shows. In fact, his bat mode optics do get blinded by the flare, but he finally ends up in his robot mode, which has perfectly good optics. Optics that tell him to /move/. As he does move, he snaps off another shot at Hardstrike from the viper pistol, still not moving it to the special setting yet.

Excise, to his eternal shame, instinctively looks over at Sideswipe when he says 'hey ugly'. He won't admit it later on and will claim it's just a coincidence, but the end result is that Excise's optics are seared by the flash. "Gah!" He stumble around a touch, and can only track Tailgate due to the sound of his voice. < < But we're in space! > > Excise squeals, starting to panic. Unable to locate the minibot, Excise swings randomly, growing more and more furious as Tailgate gaunts him. < < SHUT UP ALREADY! > > he shrieks. Another swing and another miss later, and Excise suddenly gets pummeled by the little minibot. < < Ah! Ah! > > The triplechanger is toppled to the ground as Tailgate wails on him. Acting out of desperation, he lashes out with his foot, trying to kick Tailgate off of him.

The giant bat turns into the Decepticon Mindwipe. Who would have thought that a giant robot bat was really a Transformer?

Combat: Excise misses Tailgate with his Kick attack!

Combat: Mindwipe misses Hardstrike with his Viper Pistol - Higher Level Energy (Laser) attack!

Sideswipe snaps a retort over to Hardstrike. "It's not like ya could hit anything anyway, Chump!" He then has to concentrate on the rising Blot. Eyeballing the arc of the rising Decepticon he activates his rocket-backpack again and accelerates downwards to meet him, raising his fist as he goes. In slow motion like a pair of swordfighters in some anime, the two fighters power towards each other. One comes with fists upraised from below, the other from above; right hand glowing as he attempts to power the blow down onto Blot's head with armor crushing force even as the Decepticon's own attack swishes by him as the two meet in midair.

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his Supa' Space Undercut attack!

Tailgate jumps down after kicking Excise in the shins. It must be pretty embarassing for him, sort of like it would be if Andre the Giant got his ass kicked by a midget. Tailgate transforms immediately and backs up, scraping his bumper on the moon but narrowly avoiding the kick. "Hey, you seem like a nice guy and everything, but I don't think we can be friends, y'know? It's like.. I need /my/ space, and you need /your/ space, and.. I don't know how to say this, but I'M LOOKING OVER A FOUR LEAF CLOVER THAT I OVERLOOKED BEFORE!" Wait, what?

Combat: Tailgate sets his defense level to Fearless.

Tailgate flips forward onto his face and pulls in his arms, changing into a classic Pontiac Firebird!

Combat: 1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > strikes Excise with his Ferrocobalt Hood Magnet attack!

Combat: You took 0 damage.

Combat: You can't seem to think straight...

Combat: 1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > 's attack leaves him temporarily incapacitated!

< < Monster now, insults later, shorty. > > Hardstrike snaps back his optics finally flickering back on. And just in time too-Mindwipe lashed out with a higher power purple energy blast, forcing the Autobot to dive for cover. It impacts the ground where he stood, singing it a sooty black. As he rolls, Hardstrike transforms into his alt-mode, skidding a bit further before counter thrusters halt the hovertank's slide accross the lunar surface. It adjusts in the process to gain a firing arc upon all three of the Decepticon interlopers.

< < I'd like to see you do this! > > A rocket fires, and splits into three smaller incendiaries, each streaking towards a seperate target.

Hardstrike's body seems to fall into itself as it compacts and folds together into his vehicle mode.

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Excise with his Indirect Fire Area attack!

Combat: You took 8 damage.

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Blot Monster with his Indirect Fire Area attack!

Combat: Hardstrike misses Mindwipe with his Indirect Fire Area attack!

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "DOO WOP BOOP BOO DAH DOO WOP JIGGYFLIGGYSHIGGYWIGGY DOO WOP DUH DOO WAH DOO!"

Blot Monster's silly looking head is beaten and crumpled even more. Could it possibly look better now? Nah....it's beat up pretty bad but that doesn't seem to be affecting Blot's will to fight. If anything the Terrorcon is enraged oh no you didn't. Blot MAAAAD! The undercut sends Blot falling back down to the moon's surface and no sooner then his large leggs touch down does he leap back up ready to meet the bot head on again. This time he's going for another bite though. He didn't get anywhere near his fill last time. < < BLOT Hungry! > > The rocket from Hardstrike strikes him from behind speeding his climb and hopefully not throwing him off course too bad. There's a nice scorch mark on his backside now though.

Combat: Blot Monster strikes Sideswipe with his BLOT BITE! (Kick) attack!

< Autobot > Grimlock says, "Uuuh."

< Autobot > Grimlock says, "Did him Tailgate turn into Junkion?"

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Scary thought..."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "No, he's trying to sing."

Excise can't seem to think straight. The combat code has never said truer words. The Tailgate has him at his mercy, but luckily the minibot gets off and transforms back into car mode. This gives Excise enough time to climb back to his feet. < < Ju... ust... stop talking, >  > he wheezes. The Decepticon remains standing, wobbling slightly in place as he's unable to move thanks to the magnet. This makes him an easy target for Hardstrike to blast him (and his buddies) with rockets that split off into smaller rockets (that thankfully do not split into even more rockets). "Gragh!" There's a muffled explosion, and Excise hits the lunar dust face first, temporarily incapacitated.

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "He should stick to his day job."

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "yeah..like uh.....hey Grimlock? what IS his day job?"

Mindwipe tries to duck around behind his opponent, to get out of the way of that indirect fire. It looks painful enough from what it does to his comrades. He darts over to Blot, who is looking... Mindwipe really has no words. He does, however, have a pair of rubber gloves and a roll of duct tape. Once the gloves are on, he tries to tape up some of Blot's injuries. He then takes the gloves off, throws them on the ground, draws his viper pistol, and looses a clip into the gloves.

Combat: Mindwipe quickly patches up some of Blot Monster's minor injuries.

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "That's a good question. Grimlock?"

< Autobot > Grimlock says, "Uuuuh. Scouting stuff?"

Sideswipe is not in a good position as Blot manages to get a ahold of him yet again. This time, when Blot locks into the very same arm there is little that Sideswipe can do but grapple with him. Punching ineffectually at Blot's face with his left arm. He's an experienced brawler, but usually thrives on mixing agility with strength and he is simply /NOT/ strong enough to get away from the Terrorcon. "Yo, Team!" He calls. "I got ugly, and bat-ugly over here too! Assist?"

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Sideswipe takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Lah lah lah...I am a fox..."

< Autobot > Grimlock says, "NO SINGING ON IMPORTANT RADIO THING."

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "No need to shout grimlock."

1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > sits there. Quiet for a moment. Then his headlamps flip up and start spraying the area with tiny little blasts of energy. "Four score and seven vorn ago, our forefathers brought forth, upon this planet, a new spaceship, conceived in a totally awesome space battle, and dedicated to the proposition that freedom is the right of all sentient beings." Quick, someone switch him out of 'Lincoln' mode. The car just continues to sit there and fire.

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire just giggles.

1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > can't actually fire. So there.

< Autobot > Tailgate intones regally, "Four score and seven vorn ago, our forefathers brought forth, upon this planet, a new spaceship, conceived in a totally awesome space battle, and dedicated to the proposition that freedom is the right of all sentient beings."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Okay. Tailgate's officially lost it."

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "uh......he had something to lose?"

Mindwipe lands, evades Hardstrike's rockets, AND repairs that disgusting...thing. Disgusting thing. < < Hey! Ugly! Eyes on the prize! > > he calls out, and pushes his throttle to max (which isn't much), and starts to charge towards the hypnotist. < < I'm coming Tailgate, don't get your actuators in a twist... >  > The hovertank doesn't break course, but continue onwards, set for a direct collision with the Headmaster.

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Good point."

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Mindwipe with his Rolling Roadblock attack!

< Autobot > Steeltread says, "sounds like Grimlock needs to knock some sense into him."

< Autobot > Grimlock says, "Yaaay! Me Grimlock good at that!"

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "We know, Grimlock."

Excise is growing more and more furious as time goes on. That he's being made to look like a fool by a total dope like Tailgate does not help. A blast from Tailgate lands at his feet, shaking the Decepticon and knocking him from his magnet induced stupor. < < You know what? > > he transmits as he raise his hands above his head and shifts into jet mode, soaring upwards. < < You're too good to be stabbed to death. > > The jet is nearly hit by yet another shot from the Pontiac, and Excise's targeting HUD shows a silhouette of the intruder. The words 'IRAQIS' appears over the image. He fires off a missile at the 'Iraqi'.

Robots in disguise! Excise transforms into his sleek Cybertronian jet mode.

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > 's Missile attack on 1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > goes wild!

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > strikes himself with his Missile attack!

Combat: You took 13 damage.

Combat: Used up 1 Missiles. 5 remain.

You say, "...this is what happens when you take energon out of the military and put it into education!"

Blot Monster finally gets to sink his teeth into Sideswipe again. He's like a rabid pit-bull now though the ineffective punches from Sideswipe just cause him to digg in deeper and start jerking his head side to side. Mindwipe's duct tape job works great for patching the scorched rocket impact on his backside. Streamers of slop and goop are slung free as he continues to shake his head side to side. Blot Monster's tiny arms join into the scuffle and start to claw madly at Sideswipe's chestplate.

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his Icky Clawing attack!

Mindwipe gets run over and ground into the dusty surface of the moon. "Mph," he says. Meanwhile, Excise shoots himself with a missile. This is not a good day for the Decepticons. Mindwipe gets to his feet, shakes himself off, and shoots at Hardstrike, his viper pistol cranked up to 'special'. He deadpans, < < Freeze, Autobot. > >

Combat: Mindwipe strikes Hardstrike with his Viper Pistol attack!

Combat: Hardstrike has been temporarily incapacitated.

1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > continues, "Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that spaceship, or any spaceship so conceived, and so dedicated, can long endure. Wait, what? Who said that? Who's there?" The car transforms and Tailgate waves around his laser. "Oh wow, dude, you shot yourself with your own missile? That's.. that's.. THAT'S TOTALLY HARDCORE! I GOTTA TRY IT!" So he points his gun at his own head and fires. (Un)fortunately he's holding it the wrong way.

< Decepticon > Mindwipe says, "Excise. Missiles go over at the /Autobots/. They wear the red symbols. Blot gets the concept."

Combat: 1986 Pontiac Trans-Am < Tailgate > takes a moment to shake off the effects of the last attack.

The Pontiac Firebird isn't a mindless machine after all! It jumps up off the ground and transforms into Tailgate!

Combat: Tailgate sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Tailgate strikes Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his Fisher Price Junior Laser Pistol < High Power > (Laser) attack!

Combat: You took 4 damage.

< Decepticon > Boomslang says, "Some trouble with your ordnance? I know how that is."

Sideswipe is starting to look a little beat up. His left arm has been chewed up so much it is actually cylinder shaped instead of square and his chestplate now has a whole bunch of long scratches on it that dig deeply into the metal. And on top of that, Blot still has ahold of them as the two drift downwards. Wrenching his arm from side to side even as Blot does it in a desperate attempt to free himself he still cannot manage it -- the Terrorcon's biting force being supreme. "Well, son, that does it." He puts a foot against Blot's chest and angles his body away from him, stressing his shoulder joint to the limit as he then fires his thrusters. The intent is to burn Blot's face with the backblast and shock him into letting go even as Sideswipe himself will go hurtling towards the lunar surface at high speed.

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Sideswipe misses Blot Monster with his Thruster Burn (Smash) attack!

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Holy crap, you guys!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I was watching T.V, right?"

< Autobot > Broadside says, "What is it, Powerglide?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "You know, between my..uh..work shifts."

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "suuuuuure you were."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Okay, and this guy came on and started yelling at me."

< Autobot > Raven Core Agent Nate Briar says, "Was it The Invisible Mongoose Hour?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "He was like, "I'M BILLY MAYES!""

< Autobot > Broadside says, "If he was telling you to buy a Shamwow, those things are not that great."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Hey, Grimlock, I heard that Steeljerk called Wheeljack a total astroloser. Just thought you should know."

< Autobot > Jayson Redfield says, "Oh, that guy. He's annoying."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "And I was a little scared at first, but his screaming became endearing."

Hardstrike hits Mindwipe, runs him over, and then slows down to make a quick U-turn, preparing to take another pass. < < Not so mouthy now, are you? > > he calls out to his opponent over shortband radio. He's about to follow up on his boasting, when the Viper Pistol strikes, and his sytems lock up. The hovertank sputters and shakes as it tries to get past the weapon's affects.

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "Didnae there was a post about respect on tha frequency?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "And he showed me this amazing stuff called Oxyclean."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Long story short, I bought two cases of it."

Cybertronian Jet < Excise > 's missile flies straight out, does a 180, and flies right back into him, exploding on impact. < < ARGH! > > Excise screams, more out of embarassment than pain. But still some pain. Wobbling slightly in flight, the triplechanger refocuses on Tailgate even as he receives another laser blast to his underside. That he was shot accidentally (by Tailgate) does not help any. Wordlessly but still fuming, the jet swoops around and strafes Tailgate with a flurry of missiles, trying to obliterate the minibot and turn him into a stain in the lunar dust.

< Autobot > Jayson Redfield says, "I am being respectful. I just think that Mayes guy yells too much."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Now before you say ANYTHING about wasting money, listen."

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > strikes Tailgate with his Flurry of Missiles attack!

Combat: Used up 1 Missiles. 4 remain.

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I used Hound's credit card."

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "OOC ignore that. Wrong char x.x"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I consider it his gift to the Autobots."

< Autobot > Andi Lassiter says, "Wait, what?"

< Autobot > Broadside says, "That was nice of Hound."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I think so."

< Autobot > Jayson Redfield says, "Powerglide...does Hound *know* about this?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "So if you see the big guy walking around, give him a pat on the back."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Uh..sure he does!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Why wouldn't he?"

< Autobot > Jayson Redfield says, "Riiight..."

< Autobot > Raven Core Agent Nate Briar says, "Powerglide, get The Shamwow!That guy beats up people with it... so it becomes THE SHAMPOW!"

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "Because you illegally used his card. That's why"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Pfft!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "You Aerialbots and your sense of what's illegal and what's not."

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "its not OUR sense of illegal. Its the humans' rules."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Well, I ain't human."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "So I don't see a problem."

Blot Monster is after all covered in a slimey cocoon. Sideswipe's foot doesn't get the traction he had planned and instead slips. His thrusters still fire off as planned but now he's not touching anything except for the fact BLOT still has him held tight within' his jaws. The Autobot is sent spinning away but instead kinda' makes a circling motion above the Blot Monster. Meanwhile Blot's nasty goo should be seeping into the wound.

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "the credit card company is, and by our presence in America, we ave to follow their rules"

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "of course you wouldn't."

< Autobot > Broadside says, "Hound's not human either."

< Autobot > Jayson Redfield says, "No, but you'd do best to obey our rules."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Also, I just bought a case of Shamwows. /Thank you/ Tracks."

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his BLOT Germs EEEEW! attack!

< Autobot > Broadside says, "I think by your rules this would be like a dog using a tree's credit card."

< Autobot > Jayson Redfield says, "Oh brother..."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Tracks says it was a gift for everyone being so open minded about his robosexuality."

Mindwipe sidles around Hardstrike casually, as if the hypnotist doesn't have a care in the world and is totally not in the middle of a hardcore space death robot smackdown on the airless moon of a small blue planet. Then, with unexpected savagery, he lashes out with the back of his hand, cracking it against Hardstrike's head. Mindwipe quotes, < < Pride comes before a fall. > >

< Autobot > Broadside says, "I'm not sure Hound is even supposed to be able to get credit."

< Autobot > Broadside says, "But, uh, good for Hound I guess."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Everyone, I want to see you all writing thank you cards."

Combat: Mindwipe strikes Hardstrike with his Smash attack!

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "For you stealing? No thanks."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "/Especially/ you, Fireflight."

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "not hardly."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "You too, Silverbolt."

Tailgate gets shot up! Missiles explode all around him! "OOWWWW! MY PRECIOUS PAIN SENSORS!" he yells. "What's your /problem/?!" He may not realize he's actually fighting anyone just now. "Look, if this is about me cutting you off on the turnpike, maybe you should learn how to drive and GROW A PAIR!" So mad he's twitching, Tailgate aims his laser correctly (for once) and keeps firing.

Combat: Tailgate strikes Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his Fisher Price Junior Laser Pistol < High Power > (Laser) attack!

Combat: You took 4 damage.

Combat: Tailgate's attack has damaged your Accuracy!

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "nope. Return it....THEN I'll think about it."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Actually, scratch that. I want to see ONLY the Aerialbots writing thank you cards."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Maybe it will give them a sense of humility."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "And thankfulness."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "And..other positive things."

< Autobot > Jayson Redfield says, "Why would I write a thank you card just because you're a credit card thief?"

< Autobot > Broadside audibly writes out a thank-you postcard to Hound, one of the ones he likes to send out with a picture of him floating in Pearl Harbor with the caption 'Aloha from Sunny Hawai'i' on it. "Doing it right now, PG."

< Autobot > Andi Lassiter says, "Powerglide, do I need to speak with you again about respecting the belongings of others?"

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "Good luck with that Powerglide. No cards from you."

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "OOc - FOR you."

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "none for you either...."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I'm verty pleased with you, Broadside. Truely the Wreckers are our best team."

< Autobot > Broadside says, "The Dinobots are pretty great too, but thanks, PG."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I don't see /them/ thanking Bluestreak."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Uh, I mean, Hound."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Bluestreak helped too, though."

Sideswipe is having some serious problems with Blot. Those teeth by now have sunk all the way to the ferro-titanium bone that provides structural support for his forearm and Sideswipe is aware of the feeling slipping out of his hand. Drifting in midair, he balls the fist of the wounded arm and activates his thrusters again. Slowly, he begins to spin. As the centrifugal force causes him to drift away from Blot and his arm to extend he hits the thrusters extra hard and begins to spin the two of them faster and faster and faster and faster. The pain is tremendous as his elbow and shoulder take all of the spin's force plus Blot's own weight. Optics glazed with the agony of it, he aims his free hand and punches Blot in the face at an oppertune moment. If he's really lucky, not only will the Terrorcon's grip finally break but he'll go flying into Excise.

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Fearless.

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Hmm..maybe we should just make a giant card adressed to everyone.."

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "Clear the channel."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Yeah Fireflight. Talk about mouthy."

Combat: Sideswipe misses Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his Centrifugal Force Area attack! [Pulled -4]

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his Centrifugal Force Area attack! [Pulled -4]

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "this includes you powerglide."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "I'M FIGHTIN' HERE! I don't hafta clear the slaggin' channel!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Yeah! Have some respect for my good friend Tailgate here!"

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "You don't count, Tailgate."

< Autobot > Broadside says, "Do you need help, Tailgate? Are you in the ocean?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Everyone, I want you to write a thank you card to Tailgate."

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "no."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "For his hard work and undying determination to the Autobot cause."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "What? WHAT?! I DON'T COUNT?! What, just because I'm a minibot? What a slaggin' jerk!"

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire mutters, "You're one to talk, 'Glide..."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Silverbolt! I demand you write an apology card!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "How /dare/ you?"

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Oh, I dare."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I wasn't talking to you, Foxfire, but you should as well."

The hand strikes Hardstrike's right turret, causing it to groan from the blow's force, armor cracking. It doesn't do much else, save probably throw the hydraulics for the turret out of alignment. Oh, and Hardstrike's systems stabilize. < < Funny, I could say the same thing about you. > > he emits via radio, transforming rapidly. Hands go out for Mindwipe's shoulders, pulling him down to meet a rapidly rising knee.

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Neutral.

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Everyone! Change of plans."

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Mindwipe with his Knee-to-Gut (Kick) attack!

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Get started on your Father's Day cards."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Sir! I demand satisfaction!"

< Autobot > Fireflight repeats his response of before: "No."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Do you even know what Father's Day *is*?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Fireflight! Have you no respect for the fathers of the world!?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Sure I do, snaggle-tooth. It's..uh.."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "When..you..give cards to..father figures."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Well?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Heh. Bam."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "...Not quite."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "You gunna argue with that?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "What do you mean 'not quite'!? That's exactly what it is!"

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "It's a day to appreciate one's father, not to just give him cards."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Same thing."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "...Although I should probably get one for Blaster."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "No, you need to get him an 'I'm Sorry' card for being such a terrible son."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "You're one to talk! You're an outright jerk!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I am /so/ not!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "If I didn't know any better..I'd say you were.."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "/Racist/."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Am I wrong?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "No. No I am not."

< Autobot > City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Powerglide is not wrong on one account, Foxfire. (as strangely as it is to even say that..) Father's day can be used to honor anyone that holds a patriarchal position in your life."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "How can I be racist? We're the same race.  Anyway, ignoring you now."

Blot Monster's grip is finally wretched free and he's sent spiraling towards Excise there's a horrible *KERTHWAP* sound as the two cons collide. Blot is shocked and stunned at this recent development. His teeth are filled with little bits of sideswipe arm. He smiles a gnarly smile and takes a moment to collect himself. He's suddenly found himself thrown across the battlefield and his tiny processor isn't fit for these kinds of tactical pitfalls.

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Guys, I'm running on fumes 'ere."

Combat: Blot Monster takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Mindwipe gets grabbed and kneed, in accordance with dramatic irony. Trying to get away, he tries to stomp on Hardstrike's instep to encourage the Autobot to release him and perhaps ruin his balance. He notes neutrally, < < Truth is a double-edged sword. > > Then, with an edge of his own he adds, <  < Much like the one with which you tried to stab your Minibot. > >

Combat: Mindwipe strikes Hardstrike with his Instep Stomp (Kick) attack!

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "That is why I'm giving my card to..uh.."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Oh..oh God.."

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "Where are you, Hardstrike?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I don't have a father figure."

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "You need help Hardstrike?"

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "I'm pretty chewed up, but I've still got some fight in me."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "We're on the moon, fending off Decepticons."

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "Oh... Uh. Silverbolt, can we get up there?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Okay, FIRST OFF.."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "If they needed aerial support, it would be ME."

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "we can't get up there, Fireflight."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "If I recall, I'm /older/ than all of you."

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "Ok Bolt. I'll be on standby just in case though."

< < Treacherous Autobot! > > Excise hisses. < < You know what this is about! This is about... > > he hesitates and pulls up, finally stopping the firing of missiles as he tries to remember why they came here in the first place. As he pulls up he spies the supply station. < < Oh yeah, we're here to take the Moon in the name of Galvatron. > > As Excise soars away, getting hit once again by Psycho The Autobot, he spies Hardstrike down below. He remembers that missile he took earlier. "Look out, Jet! I mean bat! I mean Mindwipe!" he shouts to the Headmaster. Seeking to help his friend out, he tries to pick Hardstrike off with a zap from his electro turret.

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "The support staff will need an extraction, and if we're all beat to pieces, won't be protected."

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > strikes Hardstrike with his Electro Cannon attack! [Pulled -3]

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "Fall back, Guys. I'll hold 'em off for a few. It's what I do."

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "What's your position?"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Arrrgh-I can take some more of that."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Fuel is just about gone, though, need to recycle systems."

Tailgate runs along after Excise, firing his pistol like it's the only weapon he has. Because it's the only weapon he has. "I SAID GET DOWN HERE YOU SLAGGING JERK!" He scoffs, "Primus, I'm havin' to run all over the slaggin' place here!" Pew pew pew!

Combat: Tailgate strikes Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his Fisher Price Junior Laser Pistol < High Power > (Laser) attack!

Combat: You took 4 damage.

Combat: Tailgate's attack has damaged your Strength!

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "What the slag are you talkin' about? I've only lost a few paint chips here!"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Retreat? My rusted out grandmabot, retreat! Get up there and shoot these jerks!"

Sideswipe is in pure agony as Blot's teeth peel all the way down the arm in question. His left forearm is almost purely skeletal with blue sparks running up and down the length of it. It's arguable at this point if he can even move it at all, given that most of the servomotors are hanging out by the wires. Nonetheless, he begins slowly falling back; hovering in midair thanks to his rocket pack. "Hey, Uglies!" He calls out. "Pay attention to me! Dontcha know Galvatwerp has a bonus on my head!?" He takes a potshot at Mindwipe to try and get his attention.

Combat: Sideswipe misses Mindwipe with his Laser Pistol (Laser) attack!

The kick slams hard into the Autobot's foot, shattering armor, and causing him to grimace in pain. Hardstrike stumbles back a few steps, only to be shot in the back by Excise's weapon, causing his systems to start shorting out. An actuater in his dominant arm goes out, and it hangs a bit limper than the other. "NNnngh. Th-that all you got!" He starts to franticly recycle energon from his systems, and hopefully keep Mindwipe from taking on one of the others.

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Hardstrike takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Cybertronian Jet < Excise > is getting battered by Tailgate all over the place as laser after laser slam into him. < < Yes I have more, but /someone/ is so /needy/ of my time, >  > he replies to Hardstrike. Guess who that is! < < ARGH... /FINE/, you little twerp! > > Furious, the Decepticon sweeps around and dives towards Tailgate, transforming back into robot mode. He doesn't bother trying to stab Tailgate or slice him up this time. Instead he just tries to land on the minibot and make him go squish.

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > misses Tailgate with his Smash attack!

More than meets the eye! Excise transforms into his powerful robot mode.

Mindwipe actually calls out, < < Thanks, Excise! Perfect weaponry usage, there! > > He sees that Sideswipe is assuming that Mindwipe actually /cares/ about what Galvatron thinks. By and large, Mindwipe does not. Sounding bored, he suggests, < < Blot could use the ego boost. Blot - finish Sideswipe! > > He then throws a punch at Hardstrike's torso, replying, <  < No. I have much, much more than meets the eye! > >

Combat: Mindwipe misses Hardstrike with his More Than Meets The Eye (Punch) attack!

Blot Monster finally gets his things together and remembers he's supposed to be munching on Sideswipe. After much thought he goes back to his duty and begins bounding off towards Sideswipe as he gets near he draws a small arm back and uses the bounding action to punctuate his little fist. < < BLOT SKOOOSH! > >

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his SKOOSH! (Punch) attack!

Tailgate is just jumping up into the air as Excise is coming down at him, thereby negating the attack completely! "Hey there, guy!" he calls cheerfully over the radio, and then tries to kick the Con in the face as he passes. "Great to see you, we should talk like this more often!" A short distance away, he lands, then turns around and waves. "Over here now! Dude, you gotta pay more attention!"

Combat: Tailgate strikes Excise with his A Kick in the Tailface (Kick) attack!

Combat: You took 2 damage.

Combat: Tailgate's attack has damaged your Strength!

Jetfire descends from Earth Orbit.

< Decepticon > Dr. Excise says, "Maybe we should retreat..."

< Decepticon > Dr. Excise says, "I... only say that because you two are looking pretty badly off."

< Decepticon > Mindwipe says, "Excise, if you need repairs, hold still, and I will be with you presently."

< Decepticon > Blot says, "BLOT fine."

< Decepticon > Dr. Excise says, "Understood. Please hurry...!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Uh, so, yeah."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "So if we get any packages, just stick them at my door, okay?"

< Autobot > Fireflight says, "I will make sure to send them to the name on the box that says who paid for it."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "So, everyone except for Fireflight, when you see those packages, just give 'em to me."

< Autobot > Andi Lassiter says, "That's quite enough now, Powerglide. Thank you."

Sideswipe is still awake, even if he's fairly damaged. Obviously the arm still works because when Blot comes barrelling in at him, he attempts to actually catch the Blot Monster with both hands and in a Jujitsu like move redirect him face first into the Lunar Surface.

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "DUDE! I just jumped like.. two hundred feet in the air! It was crazy! I.. I think I might have superpowers now."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I'm just sayin'."

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his Mecha-Jujitsu (Punch) attack!

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "But have no fear! I will defend you all with my newfound abilities!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "You, Tailgate, are getting a 'Thank You' card."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Wha...?"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Aw, thanks, Powerglide, ol' buddy. You really have a heart, y'know?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I know. It lights up."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Bitchin'."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Tight."

Hardstrike halts the fist, grabbing Mindwipe's in midair as it swings for him. < < Really? Do you? No, I think you're just another Decepticon freak who thinks he can do whatever he wants because he's got a gun. > > Pressure is put upon the fist, and Hardstrike begins to squeeze before throwing a headbutt down at the Headmaster. < < But it's not really that fun when the other guy is actually bigger than you, is it? > >

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Hardstrike misses Mindwipe with his Smash attack!

Blot Monster is no Jujitsu master and is easily thrown aside. His face smacking into the moon's surface. There's a nice Blot shaped smear of glop in the powdery moon dust. He growls and snarls while rolling over onto his back. The signs of this battle is starting to show on the Blot Monster his face and head seem to have taken the worst of it. < < BLOT SKOOOSH! > > he exclaims yet again. I swear this is like the fifth time he's yelled that this battle. He charges headlong at Sideswipe.

Excise is sent flying as Tailgate gives him a swift kick to the face. It's the lack of gravity and Excise's inability to properly defend himself at this point. As luck would have it, he's sent hurling towards Mindwipe in a slow, lazy arc. As even more luck would have it, Tailgate's viciousness has shut Excise up for a few moments. Inwardly, however, the triplechanger fumes over the taunts.

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his BLOT SKOOOSH!! attack!

Combat: Excise takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Mindwipe snorts over the radio and ducks over to the side of Hardstrike, breaking the grapple by sinking his weight and pulling against Hardstrike's thumb. < < Oh, no, I love it when they're bigger than I am. So much more satisfying to see them brought low. But now then, do /you/ have a thing for picking on the little guy? Perhaps a repressed fear of Minibots? Perhaps that is why you acted out against your comrade. > > Once free, though, he instead rushes to Excise's aid as the jet is slowly hurled at him. The blademaster brought low by a Minibot? Ignominious. Mindwipe commands, < < Keep yourself together >  > He applies some duct tape to Excise, not using rubber gloves this time.

Combat: Mindwipe quickly patches up some of Excise's minor injuries.

Tailgate runs straight at Excise! "Hey! I'm talking to you! You're ignoring me again because I'm short, aren't you? Well I'm not gonna take that from some stupid slag-faced frack-brained jethead like you! PRIMUS you make me so mad! Won't even talk huh, willya? No? No? NO! Well /I/ get it! /I/ understand! I'm gonna slap.. like.. WORDS right outta your BRAIN! And then all your WORDS will be lying around on the GROUND! What will you think of me then, huh? HUH?!" The minibot goes into a rage!

Combat: Tailgate sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Tailgate misses Excise with his Let My People Go attack!

Sideswipe fires his thrusters and leap-frogs over Blot as he attacks; landing in a defensive crouch near to Hardstrike. "You ain't the only one running on fumes." He says, turning so that he stands back to back with the other Autobot; covering him and hopefully being covered in turn. His mangled arm is leaking energon at a prodigious rate from a severed fuel line and he takes a moment to halt the flow as he waits for Blot to come at him again.

Combat: Sideswipe takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

The Autobot's grasp is slipped by Mindwipe, who promptly scurries over to start fixing up some of Excise's wounds. < < Oh, I am getting really sick of that... >  > he mutters aloud over shortband, and fires another rocket from his shoulder at the Decepticon. < < HEY! OVER HERE! No more of that field repair slag! > > The rocket streaks towards the Headmaster-hopefully it will scare Excise off too.

Hardstrike's vehicular body pulls upwards from the middle, and begins to re-shape into his robot body.

Combat: Hardstrike misses Mindwipe with his Direct Fire attack!

Excise cannot count how many times Mindwipe has helped him out with his medical expertise. This is not just because of Excise's well known problems involving counting numbers above 2 (hence the submarine problem), but because Mindwipe has bailed Excise out of trouble a whole lot of times. < < M... maybe I hate them cause they're stupid...? > > he theorizes while Mindwipe assists him using the power of duct tape. Moments later, Excise is back in he fray and on the ground near Tailgate. < < Silence!! > > He shrieks at the minibot. < < The only nonsensical mumbo jumbo I'm going to listen to from here no out is Mindwipe's, so you can just cram it! > > Excise draws out his rifle even as he plants himself at a fair distance away from Tailgate and opens fire.

Combat: Excise misses Tailgate with his Electro Cannon attack!

Blot Monster missing yet again would probably start to get frustrated at this point but he's not smart enough to comprehend things like that. What he does know is that he's still hungry and he's still supposed to be attacking the Autobot that just leap frogged over him. Blot Monster skitters to a stop which seems to be rather dificult in this low gravity environment but he soon gets it together and prepares for another charge on Sideswipe. It seems the only thing working tonight is a bite so his monstrous jaws are wide open and rather empty as he charges ahead. *CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP* He snaps his jaws several times while still closing the gap.

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his BLOT BITE! (Kick) attack!

Mindwipe sees that his field medicery and dedication to the safety and well-being of his companions (?) is /annoying the heck out of his opponent/. And that's what makes it all worthwhile, really. Seeing how angry the Autobots get when Mindwipe tries to do something constructive with his life instead of just blowing slag up. He asks, voice sibilant, < < Jealous, Autobot, that your medics are not with you? > > Just to be perfectly obnoxious, he sits down to patch himself up - and a massive blast passes right through where he was a moment before. he tears off some duct tape with his teeth, applying it liberally to his wounds, and he agrees, < < That's right, Excise. I'm a certified mystic. Accept no substitutes. > >

Combat: Mindwipe quickly patches up some of his minor injuries.

Tailgate leads a charmed life, it's true. Because just at the instant Excise pulls the trigger, Tailgate ducks to pick up a particularly attractive rock. "Aw, hey, cool, a rock! On the moon! That makes this a MOON ROCK!" The blast goes over his head, and he looks up. "Oh.. uh.. hi," he tells Excise. Then he looks at his rock. Then back at the Con. You can see the wheels turning behind his optics. "If.. I.. throw... I GOT IT!" he suddenly yells, chucking his laser pistol at Excise's head and pocketing his MOON ROCK.

Combat: Tailgate misses Excise with his That's Not How You Use That (Kick) attack!

< Decepticon > Dr. Excise says, "Ok lets switch partners."

< Decepticon > Mindwipe says, "What are you thinking, blademaster?"

Sideswipe is getting annoyed by this point. For a moment he stands, still guarding Hardstrike's back as he gets the flow of energon staunched finally -- the remnants of it crystalizing into blue dust as he gathers himself togeather. Murder in his eyes now, he begins to run towards Blot as Blot makes his way towards him. Crouching down, he activates his jet pack and rockets towards the Terrorcon, his non-mangled fist glowing with cerulean energy as he attempts to punch Blot in his mangled face with all the force he can muster, backed by the aid of his rockets. His witty banter has faded away somewhere along the line, probably because it stopped being a game to him when his forearm was nearly chewed off. Either way, either Blot misses his own bite or his fist connects before it can land.

< Decepticon > Dr. Excise says, "I fight someone that isn't Tailgate."

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Fearless.

< Decepticon > Dr. Excise says, "That's all I got so far."

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his ROCKET PUNCH attack! [Pulled -1]

< Decepticon > Mindwipe says, "Then go murder the tank-thing for me."

< Decepticon > Dr. Excise says, "By your command."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "..."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "How many times do I have to punch this guy in the face to put him down?!"

< Autobot > Sideswipe actually sounds concerned.

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "I dunno! I threw a laser at my guy and he didn't go away! What's up with that?"

This is getting bad, Hardstrike thinks. The bat just patches them up, while the Autobots get worn down further and further. And worse, it keeps dodging his attempts to stop it. The Autobot backs up closer to Sideswipe, debating his options, when he realizes the solution is rather obvious. What do you do when strikes against targets by a team aren't working, like fighting a combiner?

Focused fire.

Hardstrike turns, an arm reaching up over Sideswipe's head, laser pistol barrels on his wrist extended. He fires off shots of golden yellow energy at the Terrorcon.

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Blot Monster with his Focused Fire (Laser) attack!

Excise's right optic twitches as Tailgate... bends over and picks up a rock. It is only by grace of his robotic body that he does not begin to foam at the mouth. When Tailgate hurls the gun at him, Excise bats it away with a free hand. Opening up a Decepticon broadband transmission, he transmits, < < Ok lets switch partners. > > Pause. < < I fight someone that isn't Tailgate. That's all I got so far. > > Pause. < < By your command. > > It'll become clear who he's talking to soon enough, as the triplechanger immediately turns ninety degrees towards Hardstrike and cuts loose with another burst from his electro-cannon. Zzzzzap!

Combat: Excise strikes Hardstrike with his Electro Zap attack!

Blot Monster seems to be Sideswipes punching dummy tonight. Again his battered and beaten head is struck. His left optic is cracked and barely hanging in there at this point and several of his teeth are bent and twisted a couple are actually missing either stuck in Side's arm or somewhere on the moon's surface. He pretty much shrugs the laser fire off and continues his assault on Sideswipe. This time he goes back to those tiny arms of his and attempts to deliver a punch of his own.

Combat: Blot Monster misses Sideswipe with his Tiny Arm Punches (Punch) attack!

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "Yo, Hardstrike."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "You got enough energon to manage a half decent shot on Big Ugly, here?"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "I DO!"

Mindwipe is totally talking to Excise about how he's going to mess up Tailgate, yeah. He stalks over to the Minibot and attempts to just backhand the little fellow, seemingly rather unworried by his new diminuitive opponent. He should probably be more worried because Tailgate is robot Jesus the Hispanic gardener, but Mindwipe does not know that yet.

Combat: Mindwipe sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Mindwipe strikes Tailgate with his Punch attack!

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "Okay, I'll hold him down. You boys pummel the stupid bastard."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "I will stuff a rocket into his mouth if I have to."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "HEY A LITTLE HELP HERE!"

Sideswipe screeches to a halt as his momentum carries him on past Blot; ducking under the Terrorcon's own attacks. His elapsed turn around time is something like two seconds as he jetpacks into Blot's own back, putting his arms under the Terrorcon's own and attempting to slap him into a metal-bending full nelson -- and twist him towards Hardstrike and Tailgate. "SIC 'EM!" He yells.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his Punch attack!

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "...guh...drained my energon."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "Kick him in the face for all I care!"

Tailgate by some miracle of miracles finds himself in the path of his own thrown laser pistol after it's batted back at him from Excise. He catches it easily. "Oh, cool, a laser pistol!" he announces. "I always wanted one of those! Hee hee, it's like MOON CHRISTMAS! I'll never let you out of my sight, little laser pistol! We're gonna be great friends!" And then Mindwipe smacks him on the back of the head. "OW! SONOFA!" he stumbles forward and then glares at Mindwipe. After declaring his love of the laser pistol, he flings it aside violently (at Blot, for some reason) and puts up his robodukes. "C'mon, you and me, robo y robo, right here, right now!"

Combat: Tailgate sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Tailgate strikes Blot Monster with his Still Not How You Use That (Kick) attack!

Hardstrike is about to follow up the blast with another when Excise's weapon strikes him, dissipating his stores. He stumbles for a moment, alerts going up that his weapons system reserves are on empty. The Autobot glares at the triplechanger, and then, defiantly, shakily rises his arm once more. A low setting blast is fired, but fired it is...

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Blot Monster with his Pew Pew (Disruptor) attack!

Excise sees what the Autobot strategy is. Kill the Terrorcon. This is fine by him since it means that he'll be a-ok for a little while longer. < < Such idiots! > > he exclaims. < < Do they really think we /care/ what ends up happening to /Blot/? Maybe they'll blast the stink right off him and Hun-Grrr will give us a medal for it! > > As the Autobots blast away at the Decepticon tank (MMO tank, not tank tank), Excise gleefully takes up the job of DPS and sprays electrical bolts towards Sideswipe.

Combat: Excise strikes Sideswipe with his Electro Cannon attack! [Pulled -2]

Blot Monster is bombarded from all sides and is rather confused....not exactly hard to do but it's done none the less. He's deffinately showing signs of a beating but that still hasn't convinced him there isn't a meal to be had here. Sideswipes full nelson works like a charm and the toothy beast is redirected at Hardstrike. He even goes as far as listening to the Sic 'em command....it doesn't take much to make Blot work in your favor. < < BLOT Hungry! > > again the Monster is lookin' to fill his belly even if some of his teeth are missing and others bent over.

Combat: Blot Monster strikes Hardstrike with his BLOT BITE! (Kick) attack!

Mindwipe just stares at Tailgate, and Vorath groans about how he can /feel/ his IQ lowering. How did Excise survive fighting Tailgate that long?! Anyway, Mindwipe is the... cleric? He heals people and tries to contact ghosts? He agrees, < < Indeed, they are playing into our plans! > > Mindwipe doesn't have plans. It was just the thing to say. He then tries to shoot Tailgate with his viper pistol, as if to give the Minibot a demonstration on how to use it.

Combat: Mindwipe strikes Tailgate with his Viper Pistol - Low Level Energy (Disruptor) attack!

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "Put Blot down."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "He can't dodge for trash."

Sideswipe lunges right after Blot. "Oh, no you don't!" He snaps out as the Terrorcon manages to brute force his way out of Sideswipe's full nelson. His hands reach out -- attempting to grasp Blot's jaws where they have locked on to Hardstrike and force them apart by brute strength. And if he can manage that, he'll force them apart even farther in an attempt to damage the joint.

Tailgate tries to start a brawl and gets shot in the face for his troubles. "OW!" he yells. "VectorSigmafracker, OW!" Out of laser pistols, he rummages around in a compartment and pulls out what looks like an oversized cap gun. "Ow ow OW!" Pop pop pop! The gun fires multiple little pellets at.. oh, wait, he's not pointing at Mindwipe, he's looking at Excise again. He must be confused.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his Jawbreaker (Punch) attack!

< Autobot > > :( Gears says, "He wouldn't dodge trash, either.  He wallows in it."

Combat: Tailgate misses Excise with his Cap Gun < Low Power > (Pistol) attack!

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Blot tried to eat me once. It was utterly disgusting."

Hardstrike's leg is bit into deep by Blot, and he cries out in the vacuum of space silently from the teeth. The Terrorcon is punched, giving the autobot enough wiggle room to pull himself painfully free. The leg's musculature is damaged, however, leaving him with a limp. He pulls away, taking a few moments to gather himself and more energon...

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Hardstrike takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

< Autobot > > :( Gears says, "worse than when that Sweep tried to eat you?"

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Definitely. Sweeps are annoying.  Blot is just gross."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "I don't think I've gone this many rounds with /anyone/ before. Buckethead /refuses/ to go down!"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Just gimme' a minute...'ll cleave him to bits..."

Excise throws his head back and laughs as the Autobots continue to blast away at Blot and only Blot. And then Tailgate nearly takes his head off without warning. "Ah! Wait, you broke the pattern!" Excise snarls, kneeling, taking aim, and firing off a sizzling bolt back towards the minibot.

Combat: Excise strikes Tailgate with his Electro Cannon attack! [Pulled -2]

Mindwipe is down with Tailgate not shooting at him. Shooting at Excise? Well, that's just another excuse to shoot at Tailgate some more! He switches his ammunition type, just for kicks and giggles. Mindwipe isn't too worried about Blot. Terrorcons are solidly built. He chides, < < Over here, little man. > > Then Excise shoots Tailgate, which means that Mindwipe switches back over to the tank-thing, boom!

Combat: Mindwipe strikes Hardstrike with his Viper Pistol - Solid Ammunition (Pistol) attack!

Blot Monster's jaws are wrenched open. His head has taken quite a pounding this battle. A smarter person would see they're about out for the count but this is a Terrorcon.....a very dumb Terrorcon so his resolve isn't swayed. Blot Monster decides to give his jaws a rest and instead attempts to claw at Hardstrike with his tiny little slimey arms. < < BLOT huurt! > > now this could be some sort of battle cry or maybe Blot's really hurting.

Combat: Blot Monster misses Hardstrike with his Icky Clawing attack! [Pulled -1]

Sideswipe is so pissed off at this point and focusing entirely on Blot that he doesn't even notice that Excise's electro-cannon has burned a hole in his back. The damage to his arm is hurting so much at this point that his pain receptors are already at maximum. But that doesn't stop him from grappling with Blot after he pries his jaws off of Hardstrike. Only to have Blot go after Hardstrike again. He stays right with him, putting his right arm around Blot's neck and attempting to squeeze him into a headlock -- tightening it for everything that he is worth as he tries to spoil the Terrorcon's attempt to maim Hardstrike and hold him down at the same time.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his Headlock (Punch) attack!

Tailgate is shot right in the arm! "Eee! My arms are all tingly! What'd you shoot me with? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU!?" Tailgate pulls another pistol out of a compartment. Hey, is that his laser pistol? Then what's that lying on the ground over there? How many of these things does he have? "Ah, my old friend. I missed you." Pew pew!

< Decepticon > Mindwipe says, "Hmm. Perhaps we should focus on taking down the red one?"

Combat: Tailgate strikes Excise with his Fisher Price Junior Laser Pistol Mk. II < High Power > (Laser) attack!

Combat: You took 2 damage.

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "I don't know how much longer I can hold this guy down, Hardstrike. I can't say he's got much upstairs, but I can say a -lot- about his strength."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "So if you're gonna do something, make it good."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Nngh. Well, if you insist."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "SHOOT THE FRACKING JET YOU FRACKING WEIRDOS!"

Hardstrike stumbles a few steps back from Blot, barely avoiding his disgusting claws, but not a pistol shot to the side of his heat. The bullet blasts off armor, and disrupts one of his optics. Depth perception goes on the fritz, not to mention normal vision. Great. Just great. The autobot glances at Tailgate, < < HOLD ON, I'M NOT DONE YET! > > He calls out to Tailgate, pulling forth his energy sword once more. Hardstrike charges forward with a battlecry lost to the vacuum of space, swinging for Blot's neck.

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Hardstrike misses Blot Monster with his Energy Sword attack!

Excise holsters his rifle and begins stomping towards Tailgate. So much for switching partners and going after Hardstrike. The Decepticon is shot in the shoulder by Tailgate's gun (it is a 'gun' only by the loosest of standards, it seems) but it doesn't seem to slow him down. Upon reaching the minibot, Excise tries to slap him one. "Shut up!" he screams. "Shut up shut up shut up shut up!!"

Combat: Excise strikes Tailgate with his Slap (Punch) attack!

Blot Monster growls a ferocious growl in protest of the Autobot clinging desperately to his backside. By some miracle he dodges the Energy Sword while thrashing voilently from side to side in an attempt to shake Sideswipe loose. His head is basically beaten useless and held down rather securely so he's really got no choice but to try and kick at the bot on his back.

Combat: Blot Monster strikes Sideswipe with his Kick attack!

Mindwipe thinks that the red Autobot is entirely too lively. He should not be so, in Mindwipe's estimation. Now that Excise has returned to harrying the Minibot, sparing Vorath's IQ, the mystic tromps over to the melee and unceremoniously tries to boot Sideswipe, asking, < < Do you have any idea how many diseases you can pick up, holding Blot like that? > > Yes, Mindwipe is actually trying to assist Blot. He has had worse ideas, but he cannot remember when.

Combat: Mindwipe strikes Sideswipe with his Kick attack!

Tailgate goes careening head over tailgate, landing in a heap. He jumps up, slinging dust all over. "ARGH! DUST IN MY EYES! FRACK!" He runs and jumps behind a big moon rock. "FRACK! If you're going to keep punching the fracking Terrorcon, punch him in the fracking soft spot on his head! PRIMUS, do I gotta tell you slagheaps EVERYTHING?!"

Combat: Tailgate sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Tailgate analyzes Blot for weaknesses Sideswipe can exploit.

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Get clear, I'm throwing down another spread."

Sideswipe almost falls down as Mindwipe's hit lands in the center of his chest; buckling armor plating. He manages to keep ahold of Blot by dint of super-human contortions, especially as Blot's own attack hits him in the shin. Sideswipe is battered, broken and mangled at this point. . but Tailgate's words seem to motivate him and releases Blot for just a split second -- charging up his right fist as he attempts to smash him exactly in the spot that Tailgate has directed.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blot Monster with his Tailgate said punch him here (Kick) attack!

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, ". . . Ow."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Ow?"

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "Yes. Ow."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "What happened?"

The sword is dodged, and mentally Hardstrike curses. These guys are slipperly. He keeps moving, letting the low gravity carry his dash forwards and into a transformation to his vehicle mode. The Autobot spins about, bringing his launchers to bear-ammunition is low too. But that's why he has splitter rockets. Another one fires, dividing into three parts, which spiral towads their targets.

Hardstrike's body seems to fall into itself as it compacts and folds together into his vehicle mode.

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "I've been going mech-on-mech with Blot for about an hour, now."

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Excise with his Indirect Fire Area attack!

Combat: You took 7 damage.

Combat: Hardstrike's attack has damaged your Velocity!

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Blot Monster with his Indirect Fire Area attack!

Combat: Blot Monster falls to the ground, unconscious.

Combat: Hardstrike misses Mindwipe with his Indirect Fire Area attack!

< Autobot > > :( Gears says, "Ugh."

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Tell him to just die already."

< Decepticon > Dr. Excise says, "Orders, Mindwipe?"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "EW YOU TOUCHED IT!"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "I got 'im!"

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, ". . So did you, if you recall."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Take the jet!"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "I'm gonna be robosick."

< Decepticon > Mindwipe says, "We fight a bit longer and see if we can make these Autobots suffer. Then, we garbage bag Blot and FedEx him to Hun-Grrr."

< Decepticon > Hun-Grrr says, "No worry too much about shipping. Do slow over ground. It okay."

< Decepticon > Catechism says, "Understood."

< Decepticon > Mindwipe says, "Understood."

Excise scowls as Hardstrike shifts back into his vehicle mode. He remembers the missiles from before and immediately begins running. Several of them explode at his feet, however, causing shrapnel to rip through his legs. Excise jumps and shifts into space jet mode, soaring upwards in a fancy loop de loop. "You're not the only one with a ton of missiles, Autobot!" Excise crows, firing a rocket with an energon-warhead down towards Hardstrike.

Robots in disguise! Excise transforms into his sleek Cybertronian jet mode.

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > misses Hardstrike with his Missile attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Used up 1 Missiles. 3 remain.

Mindwipe sees Blot finally fall, and he frowns. Duct tape can only do so much. For everything else, there is - no, not MasterCard! Punching Autobots in the head. There is punching Autobots in the head. He takes a few steps back and winds up, which puts him just out of that blast radius. Then, he attempts to sock Sideswipe, advising, < < Victory stinks when your opponent is Blot. > >

Combat: Mindwipe strikes Sideswipe with his Punch attack!

Tailgate stays behind his rock. "That's the way! Yeah, Get 'em! I'm totally not chickening out over here!" He pulls out a laser pointer and flashes it in Excise's eyes. "See that? Shoot him there!"

Combat: Tailgate analyzes Excise for weaknesses Hardstrike can exploit.

Sideswipe is honestly feeling weary at this point. And it says alot for Sideswipe to feel weary. But he's still standing, even if he looks like he's gone through hell. He takes a moment to kick Blot while he is down and then he leans forward and punches his jets -- which just sort of sputter instead of actually doing anything. By now, he is -really- looking beat to hell. But he's still on his feet as he takes Mindwipe's punch. Leaning to the side like a drunken boxer, he attempts to punch Mindwipe right back in the center of his mass. He's seeing double at this point and is lucky to even hit his body let alone his face.

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Neutral.

Blot Monster is finally put out of his misery or would it be ecstacy....he atleast went down doing what he loves. His head as taken a beating and finally the little Terrorcon slips off into a deep slumber actually more like a coma. Blot Monster collapses onto the moon's surface a small cloud of dust ripples up. A rather large pool of nasty fluids begin to form beneath him and seep out onto the moon's surface.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Mindwipe with his Drunken Boxing (Punch) attack!

< Decepticon > Ransack says, "Y'know, if you do that the bag's gonna smell even worse when you open it."

Hardstrike flares his thrusters forwards, evading the missile by mere nanoclicks, an explosion of moonrock and dust erupting behind him. The Autobot calls out mockingly, < < No, but clearly I'm the only one who can hit anybody with them. You always fail to release before detonating, or was that just a special occasion? > > Hardstrike catches the laserpointer from Tailgate, and fires off with another low level laser blast at the jet, still trying to scavenge energon from his overworked, damaged systems.

Combat: Hardstrike sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his Pew Pew (Disruptor) attack!

Combat: You took 10 damage.

Combat: Hardstrike's attack has damaged your Firepower!

Mindwipe is knocked back by the punch, and some of his duct tape flutters off his body and lands on the surface of the moon, becoming an instant souvenier. Minwipe goes for his pistol again and tries to get some distance on Sideswipe, backing away. Once he feels he has that distance he wanted, he takes a shot, observing how Excise is getting a laser pinter to the optics. That can't be good.

Combat: Mindwipe sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Mindwipe misses Sideswipe with his Viper Pistol - Solid Ammunition (Pistol) attack!

Cybertronian Jet < Excise > is in jet mode and has no eyes. Luckily it probably doesn't matter where Tailgate points his laser pointer because shooting him there will hurt. This theory is proven as the laser blast hits the jet square, nearly knocking him right out of the sky (space... whatever). "Minnnndwipe..." he begins to whine. "Lets just forget about this crappy moon and go find our /own/ moon! One that'll have Blue Femmes and Blackjack!" Even as he complains, Excise tries to zap Hardstrike with his ventral turret.

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > strikes Hardstrike with his Electro Cannon attack! [Pulled -1]

Tailgate jiggles the laser pointer around Excise's intake fans on his chest and giggles like a schoolgirl. "HEE HEE HEE!"

Combat: Tailgate analyzes Excise for weaknesses Hardstrike can exploit.

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "HEEE HEEEE!"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Heh. This is fun."

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "My power servos are hangin' out by the wires, I can't feel my left arm at all, my thrusters don't work anymore, my armor is ruined . ."

< Autobot > Sideswipe adds, matter of factly. "But yeah, this has been a pretty awesome fight."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "Get in there and slag that jet, frackers!"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "...just jealous because we took down the Terrorcon."

Sideswipe doesn't have his thrusters anymore but he isn't about to let Mindwipe get away from him. And so, he takes off at a dead run; lunging after him in an attempt to tackle him. If he can keep him occupied, perhaps Hardstrike and Tailgate can finish Excise!

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "He uh.. HE KILLED SUNSTREAKER! Yeah! I saw it on the news! GET HIM!"

Combat: Sideswipe misses Mindwipe with his Shoulder Tackle (Kick) attack!

< Autobot > Sideswipe says, "What?"

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "...I'm pretty sure Sunstreaker's not dead."

Sideswipe also sort of dodges the shot as he leaps.

Hardstrike doesn't have the reaction times or the energy left to dodge much, and the Electro Cannon strikes him once more, adding another scorched hole to his already ravaged armor. The Autobot transforms in a stumble, one of his launchers singed from the blast. He's not doing too hot, but an arm raises at Tailgate's beckoning as well, noting the laser pointer. < < Time to go, 'cons. > > he murmers, and fires on Excise's exposed exhaust ports...

Hardstrike's vehicular body pulls upwards from the middle, and begins to re-shape into his robot body.

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Cybertronian Jet < Excise > with his Laser attack!

Combat: You took 9 damage.

Combat: Hardstrike's attack has damaged your Agility!

Mindwipe whines right back at Excise, "But this moon is perfect for performing sacred rights under the light thereof! It's big and round and even looks bloody when there is dust in the air on Earth!" The mystic keeps running away from Sideswipe and actually transforms, taking to wing, to take a breather from the combat. He wheels high above, out of easy shoulder tackle range.

Mindwipe turns into a bat. Is anyone shocked?

Combat: Mindwipe sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Cybertronian Jet < Excise > is a jet and has no chest, but the same theory as before holds true and Excise is again rocked. His exhaust ports begin to trail smoke behind him (in space, yes). "Forget this, Mindwipe. I've got better things to do tonight than die. We can just use Unicron's head or something for our sacred rights! Or that crappy asteroid they moved into orbit!" The jet continues to rise upwards and away from the Moon.

Combat: Cybertronian Jet < Excise > begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Giant Bat < Mindwipe >

Tailgate yells (over the radio), "We've got Gerry on the run, boys! They can't escape us now! Now is the time for all good Bots to come to the aid of their friendly neighboring planet's moon! The moon is a harsh mistress, but we have to protect her honor! No guts, no glory! We'll beat 'em on the dust plains, in the craters, behind the rocks, and on the dust plains! Did I mention the dust plains? We will never surrender!"

Combat: Tailgate inspires Hardstrike with heroic and dramatic words!

Sideswipe has one more attack left in him it seems. Summoning every bit of energy that he actually has left he lunges after Mindwipe again. The low gravity lets him leap high without his thrusters, but he gets one more attempt to clobber the Headmaster at least. "Take your smelly Terrorcon and get outta here!" He snaps.

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Giant Bat < Mindwipe > with his Flail (Punch) attack!

Hardstrike moves his arm at Excise speeds beyond his range, < < Well, Tailgate. > > he says with a smirk, inspired to keep going, <  < If you insist. > > The Autobot fires off another weak laser blast, systems depleted and ammo extremely low, at the Headmaster. Hopefully he'll just leave.

Combat: Hardstrike strikes Giant Bat < Mindwipe > with his Disruptor attack!

Giant Bat < Mindwipe > is all alone now, with Blot's stinking body, as Excise abandons him. Just for that, Mindwipe is going to give Excise a really bad tarot card reading! He also gets clobbered by Sideswipe. Argh! And shot by the tank-thing. Double argh! Mindwipe descends down to scoop up Blot in a garbage bag, and then he wings off. He could probably stick around and fight for another round, but he has other things to do. Like yell at Excise.

Combat: Giant Bat < Mindwipe > begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

Combat: Tailgate sets his defense level to Neutral.

Tailgate hops up on top of his rock, now brave enough to start shooting at Mindwipe's tail end. "Take that! And that! Yeah!" He strikes an heroic pose. "I have led our great Autobot team to victory once more!"

Sideswipe simply lets Mindwipe go. At this point, he can finally let himself apparently relax and simply slumps to the ground with a thud -- rolling over onto his back and leaking energon from multiple places as he attempts to let his autorepair systems catch up.

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "I AM THE GREATEST FIGHTER IN ALL THE LAND!"

< Autobot > Saboteur Foxfire says, "Stop shouting on the broadband!"

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "...we...we got 'em."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "Lunar Station secured."

< Autobot > Hardstrike says, "...medic would be nice."

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "I DECLARE THIS 'DO NOTHING BUT SHOUT VICTORY ON THE BROADBAND' DAY!"

< Autobot > Tailgate says, "VICTOOOOOOORRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!"

Hardstrike watches as Mindwipe runs for a few moments, and then relaxes his arm. And then finally falls back into a sitting position-he looks like several miles of very bad road at this point. < < Nnnngh. We won. I guess. > >

< Autobot > Andi Lassiter says, "Get to Metroplex if you need repairs. I won't be here all day but I'll do what I can."

< Decepticon > Mindwipe says, "Hun-Grrr. I have Blot in a trash bag. I think I will ship him by rail."

================================= Decepticon =================================

Message: 2/85                     Posted        Author

Lunacy! Wed May 13   Mindwipe

--

Text Only

Excise, Blot, and I encountered a /massive/ Autobot force on the moon and were defeated. Blot made the ultimate sacrifice, though not quite that ultimate. Don't get excited. Exercise caution if a lunar retake is attempted.

End of File

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================================== Autobot ===================================

Message: 3/71                     Posted        Author

Red Report : Luna                 Wed May 13    Sideswipe

--

Sideswipe's face appears on the screen. His head looks normal. The rest of him looks absolutely and utterly beat to hell. His chestplate is dented and scratched, his back is shot up. But the most horiffic injury is his left arm. It has been chewed and mangled down to the ferro-titanium bone. It is sparking and twitching under the infulences of the jolts and there is no armor left on it. Even the 'bone' has been mangled by toothmarks. He's covered in his own energon and seems to be still leaking it from multiple wounds as well as copious amounts of an acrid yellow slime.

"The Decepticons attacked our station on Luna. We beat the slag out of them. They beat the slag out of us. One of the better fights I've ever been in. I can barely stand up, Hardstrike isn't much better, Tailgate . . seems to be okay. We dropped Blot unconscious, beat the slag out of Excise and hurt Mindwipe some. They retreated after Blot dropped and Excise was about to.

Props to Tailgate. Little guy might be crazy, but he's f-g hardcore."

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