For Whom the Gavel Falls

Six Lasers - Bar Moon

That's no moon. It's a Bar Moon.

Roughly a quarter the size of Earth's moon, Bar Moon is one of three Nepsan Lunar Satellites. The Moon has no breathable atmosphere, but a massive indoor city covers the entire surface. The city is one bar after another, ranging from safe, nearly family oriented pub and grills to sports bars to raunchy strip bars. There isn't a liquor for any alien species that one can't find on this moon. The one combining factor is that every bar has televisions set up to watch the Olympic games. Advertisements and tourism info booths are set up for those seeking transport to other attractions. Bar Moon is a major transportation hub, second only to Grand Central Station, with shuttles and cruise liners often leaving for most of the attractions. Artificial gravity wells keep the gravity close to Earth's, though after chugging too many back you might not notice.

Contents:

Windshear Fusillade Hoist Impactor Topspin

Obvious exits: Nepsa Spaceport  leads to Six Lasers - Nepsa Spaceport. Space  leads to Six Lasers Solar System.

Moonracer has arrived.

Sunstreaker has arrived.

Twenty-Four breems ago: Under the influence of Catechism and some high-grade ener-hol, the Aerialbot Air Raid foolishly displays his lenses ability ... destroying a trash can and disturbing quite a number of the homeless populace here on Barmoon. Shortly thereafter, our heroes and villians were nabbed by the Six Lasers police for a multitude of charges. Suffice to say, stun batons were used without prejuidice.

NOW! Impactor is sulking in his cell, arms rested on the bars keeping them in check. Energizing the restraints aren't neccesary, as they are already sporting the finest in inhibitor collars. Behind him are the assorted cast of captives: Catechism, Windshear, Powerglide, Air Raid, and Topspin. Some might be moving about, others could still be passed out from exhaustion from last night's 'theatrics'.

A burly guard comes around the corner, an orange colored humanoid with six arms. "Time for court, you lazy layabouts!" he shouts at the prisoners. Fiddling with the cell keys, the guard attempts to find the right key to unlock the doors. "We've taken the liberty of contacting your respective factions ... they should be sending along representitives shortly for your trial."

Americon has arrived.

Americon's robot legs pop out metallic feather-like objects as they and his lower torso split apart, also revealing an eagle head. The arms and robot head join the main body, and his guns convert into tail feathers and rocket launchers. Americon is now a bald eagle!

"And they are HERE RIGHT NOW... in AMERICA!" And so Americon lands on the guard's shoulder, and lets loose an ear-piercing CAWWWW! He appraises all of the bad robots present. "Well, the Decepticons, of course! You Autobots can go straight to France for all I care, ha ha ha!"

Did I mention Americon is wearing a business suit and tie, tailored for a robotic bald eagle?

Why was Moonracer sent out here? Well, she hadn't been doing anything, and apparently someone figured she might be good to have around? And she volunteered, sort of. She hadn't been able to take part in the rescue of the Collector's captives, so she wanted to be part of the rescue of /these/ captives. She was hoping for a jail break, herself, but wasn't going to 'upset the apple-cart', as it were, so she'd do what she could to get them released, even though she had no idea what they'd done. At the moment, however, she was trying to find the appropriate place to be, so she stopped to ask directions, and would probably be arriving about the same time the jailer was finding the proper key to open the cell.

Windshear is standing in a corner of the cell, arms folded, sulking. He is not happy he got thrown in jail. Seems his only crime was being mistaken for a femme. This is all the Autobots fault and he rumbles as much. He also has a new hatred for stun batons and stares at the guard with glowing optics.

After receiving the report regarding the Autobots and their infraction with the law a few volunteers were rounded up to go and try to smooth any ruffled feathers. Hoist offered to go along to make sure that no serious injuries were received during arrest and detention procedures. He walks in moments later and looks over at the sorry Autobots, "Dear oh dear what have we here. What have i told you all about over energising, i didn't just make those things up you know."

Topspin is practically clombing the walls out of boredom and quite literally as well. The Jumpstarter mkes it to the ceiling and looks down at the cell, "I hate to say, I told you so sir.." he directs his comment towards Impactor. He suddenly leaps from the ceiling and does a very eligant flip in the air and lands quite gracefully on his feet, "Hey, I can't transform! How about you?" being caged does not suit the free spirited jumpstarter well.

Fusillade vanishes out of reality.

Fusillade has left.

Larry, the Six Lasers guard, totally freaks out when the robotic eagle lands on his shoulder and flaps about, yelling like a mad mech. "Hey, quit that right now or I'll.. I'll.. arrest you!" he shouts out, trying to brush Americon off with his billy club. Unlocking the door, Larry peers into the cell. "Alright, judge wants to see uhh... Mr. Umproctor, Squire Tapspoon, and Ms. Windshear." he calls out, pointing the club at each of them one at a time. "Time for court!"

Impactor sighs, getting up from his seat and walking towards the doorway. "Told me so? It's not my fault we're in here!" he complains over his shoulder at the cheery Jumpstarter.

Moonracer managed to find the courthouse, or whatever represented it on this moon, and after little difficulty, had gotten in and was waiting for the arrested Autobots to be brought in for their trial.

Robotic Bald Eagle  lets out a startled, "BRAWK!" as he is prodded off of his perch, and promptly flops onto the floor.

Hoist crosses his arms and watches as the named prisoners get to their feet, giving a slight chuckle at the names that his fellows have been given, "Okay boys, you seem fine enough, i guess i shall see you all in the courtroom, do try to behave okay." With his cursory evaluation complete Hoist turns and quickly heads for the courtroom taking a seat as close to the front as possible so as to have a good view of proceedings. In his rush he completely misses noticing that Moonracer has already beat him there.

Topspin lowers his head and falls into line behind Impactor, the Jumpstarter keeps both hands in front of him and marches out like a convicted criminal even though he didn't do anything and he wasn't even drunk at the time from that Trypticon feet juice, "Did he call me Tablespoon?" he says in a low voice to the big boss bot.

Windshear would roll his optics if he could. Everyone still thinks hes a femme. Without a word he heads for the doorway.

And like that, the prisoners are led through the hallway and into the ajoining courtroom. Inside is pretty empty, all except for one Cybertronian sized alien with orange skin, a silly white wig layed on top of his head. "Hear ye, Hear ye." he bellows, slamming the gavel onto the table top he's seated behind. "I duefully swear you all in under oath of the seventh district of Six Lasers court. Please take your seats." he softly intones, pointing to a special section for the detainees and another for those accompanying them.

Impactor follows down the corridor, taking a seat near the front of the 'assembly' and shifting idly in his seat. If it were up to the Wrecker, he'd just would have had them bail him out. But in an effort to establish and maintain peaceful relationships with the Six Lasers people, he's promised to act accordingly.

Moonracer watched Hoist come in, and not even notice her, but that was ok. She was pretty much only here as a decorative piece at the moment anyway, so she sat quietly, which was rather strange for her. Watching the others coming in, she shakes her head slightly.

Robotic Bald Eagle  promptly waddles to the bench for the defense attorney. "'Scuse me, comin' through," he says as he slips between various alien spectactors on his way to the seat. Once there, he props himself up on the table and drops a little briefcase onto it.

Hoist suddenly realises that he's sat in the wrong seat but thanks to the esteemed orange judge he can adjust his error of judgement. As he makes his way to his proper seating area he finally notices Moonracer and waves her over to him. "Come on Moonracer we need to show a united front."

Topspin moves to take his seat beside Impactor and look completely dwarfed by the massive Wrecker leader. He looks at the judge and then to Impactor, Sir would this be a bad time to ask for a promotion?" he says over to him quietly. It finally hits him, "Are we being tried seperately from Powerglide and Air Raid?"

Windshear takes his seat quietly and says nothing to anyone.

Moonracer stands when Hoist waves her over, and shimmies her way through the crowd to sit beside him. "United front? Almost sounds like we're defending a base from the Decepticons. Where are the others? I thought there were a couple more than just Impactor and Topspin from our side." She spoke quietly, but she wasn't exactly whispering.

Larry the Six Lasers guard steps out of the courtroom for a moment, while the judge starts the 'formal' hearing. "On this three hundreth day of our supreme Kremzeek, I hereby call this matter to be heard. I do believe you are here to defend your friends?" the robed alien asks Hoist, Americon, and Moonracer. Either not wanting a reply or just not waiting for one, he continues. "I'll start by reading the charges, then you can -try- to explain their actions last night. Sworn here by Officer Dittle-doo, that the Cybertronians in question took part in but not limited to: Flying while under the influence, lude acts with a trashcan, destruction of property, public indecency, unpaid parking tickets, -and- not to mention credit card fraud."

While the judge continues his speech, Larry walks back in with Catechism in tow. "Here is the other one you wanted sire, one Ms. Cattaxism." he reads from the slip of paper, directing the Decepticon with the other defendants.

"I'll here opening arguments now please." the judge barks out, looking at all of the Transformers.

Catechism is being pretty calm and quiet. So she's surrounded by Autobots, who will totally blame it all on her. So she's from a faction known for lying. So she hasn't been able to call in any favours from Soundwave. So - Americon's here? Oh slag. Catechism grimaces. She sits down next to Windshear, rather awkwardly, because Six Lasers doesn't design its chairs for buttwings.

Impactor looks towards Hoist and Moonracer, hoping either of them has an argument between them. "Oh crap, why did a femme and a medic come ta pick us up? And no, now is -not- tha time ta be askin' fer a promotion!" he barks back at Topspin, elbowing him in the gut.

Robotic Bald Eagle  nods eagerly up at the judge. "Yes! Yes I am here to defend my friends! Because here in America, all Americans are considered innocent until proven guilty! That is why my friends must be released! There is absolutely no evidence whatsoever that my pals here partook in any illegal acts whatsoever! And so, according to American law, they must be released immediately and the taxpayers must pay all of their legal fees!" He nods to himself in satisfaction. "I rest my case."

He sits back in his bench, eagle head barely visible over the top of his desk. Then he hops back up. "Er, I mean, I start my case." He leans over his seat, and stage-whispers to the Decepticons, "But seriously, what the hell, guys? What did you *do?*"

Windshear gives Catechism a sideways glance and remains his rather sulky self right now.

Hoist feels a bit better having some more moral support after all he's no legal ace, far from it. He nods to Moonracer and chuckles lightly before speaking in a hushed voice, "Well not quite a battle but perhaps one of wits. The others are back in the cells, i guess they don't want too many of the detainees loose at the same time or they face different charges. There's nothing to worry about though they appeared in good enough health from my cursory scan." Hoist listens to the judge closely, noting the infractions, his first order of duty however is to stand and adress the judge, "Indeed we are and we would also like to state that since these two Autobots cannot fly that the charge of FUI be dropped for them." Hoist is just hoping to Primus that they weren't caught in a shuttle.

Lewd acts with a trashcan? That one had to have been one of the Decepticons. Moonracer just couldn't picture Topspin or Impactor....Well, maybe Topspin, if he was over-energized. But rather than open her mouth and ruin things for them all, she lets Hoist do the talking, for now. She didn't want to end up in jail /with/ the others, for being sassy, as she was known to get on occasion.

Catechism smiles slightly, the expression just ghosting at the corners of her lips, and she nods her head just the tiniest bit to Windshear. She murmurs, barely audible, "Smile for the jury, pretty boy." Catechism tries to straighten out her wings, despite the chair, and she sits up and back, trying to project an air of relaxed confidence.

Topspin drops hisface ninto his hands after hearing the charges. But then he rasises a finger and says, "I didn't DO any of that suff! You better check your sourcesand the security cameras." he grumbles and settles down ro let the professionals deal with the judge. He turns to look at Impactor who seems unusually quiet. He looks over at Catechism, "I didn't even drink anything.. so I don't think I can be considered drunk!"

"This is not America and they contributed to the FUI in question, I see no evidence to drop the charge at the moment. Representitive ... Heist is it? Please try to explain their actions, not dismiss one of many of their charges." the judge snarls to the two defending attourneys. "If evidence -must- be presented, we'll have Larry grab the tape from the bar and street security cameras."

Windshear hears Catechism's suggestion and the corner of his mouth twists into a slight smirk or is that a snear? He glances at Americon and whispers, "I... was just there, thats all I did..."

Robotic Bald Eagle  yells, after Hoist's proclamation, "OBJECTION! It is a well-known *fact* that--" He continues in a very, very, very quiet voice. "--some--" Normal voice again. "--Autobots are capable of flight! I mean, just LOOK at them!" He gestures towards the Autobots with a wing. He leans in towards Windshear, listens, then yells, "HE WAS JUST THERE! HE DIDN'T EVEN GROPE THE STRIPPERS!"

Impactor slinks down in his seat, trying to stay calm. Right now, he'd love nothing more than to just break the hell out of here and never come back.

Larry comes into the court room holding an old VHS tape, some dust has collected on it. Inserting the object into the viewscreen's array, the device comes on in a second and starts playing. The members of the room would bear witness a multitude of horrible films cut and spliced together, all poorly photoshopped to display one of the defendant's heads. It ends with Topspin taking a long line of white substance and talking about his little friend. "Now, if that will settle your doubts. The charges stand!" the judge proudly proclaims, sending the guard back out with a flick of his wrist.

Catechism comments idly, "Huh. Topspin's lying. He was indeed drinking. Doing toasts with his fellow Autobots. Then he insulted the drinks and said, oh let me recall... 'That tastes like what Trypticon uses to clean his feet with!' If the Autobots are lying about Topspin not drinking, what else are they lying about, huh?" She crosses her arms back behind her head, whistling.

Robotic Bald Eagle  watches the video, mouth agape. He leans back towards the Decepticons, muttering, "Wow, that video's pretty damning, guys! I'm not sure what I can do for you at this point! We... may have to flea bargain." He hangs his head.

Windshear stares at the tape and his mouth drops open. He glances around the room then looks at the judge. "A moron can see thats a doctored tape.. now tell me what that white powder would do to a robotic lifeform? Not much... your evidence gatherers such as they are need to get a case of intelligence before they work on the framing visual evidence..."

"Excuse me ... Ms. Windshear, are you a professional videologist? I didn't think so, please keep such comments in check before I find you in contempt of court!" the judge barks, slamming the gavel down seven times.

Hoist is caught a little by surprise, he had assumed that they would have to be proven guilty and he would then defend them but it appears that he has to prove they are innocent. "Your honour my name is Hoist and that constructed video is poor evidence at best and i move that it proves none of the charges." Hoist is out of his depth, he's trying to ignore Americon whilst saving his friends from imprisonment, he looks pleadingly to Moonracer for some help, she's in intelligence she must know more about this sort of stuff than him.

"We did not party -that- hard ... at least I don't member doin' any of that stuff. Damn Topper, musta been a wild night!" Impactor laughs, slapping the Jumpstarter on the back. He's obviously not taking this very seriously.

Windshear clenches his fists, "Im not a Ms..." he seethes.

Topspin can only face palmn once more after seeing the tape, "Why me..?" he mutters. then he shoots Catechism a damning stare and struggles in his bonds, "Oh you filthy Decepticon.. you KNOW I spat that drink back out.. why would I drink Trypticon feet juice?!" then he spots the other Autobots he waves enthusically to Moonracer well as best he can with his hands ener-bonded together. He mouths a 'hello' to her then he turns tro Impactor, "You know if she's going to be the last femme I ever see. Moonracer was a pretty sweet choice, don't you think sir?"

Catechism agrees, "Yes, Windshear is a Mrs. A widow. It's a shame, but you know, the war and all." Sympathy plea! Or maybe she just finds it funny as hot slag. Not that robots get married. That is for foolish fleshlings.

"Oh my, I wasn't aware. Was it a tragic loss?" the judge asks Catechism, looking over towards the other Seeker to see if any emotion comes broiling out amidst the depressing talk of dead husbands.

Robotic Bald Eagle  waves his wings about with a great violence. "Yes, but her wife had delicious optical sensors!" he adds helpfully.

Catechism snorts and looks amused over at Topspin, and she heckles, "Oh, what kind of defense is that? Next, you'll be telling us you didn't inhale!" She sobers up and nods somberly, recounting a hushed tone, "Oh yes, Windy's spouse was killed in an Autobot firebombing when he was doing charity work at Blueshift's orphanage." Blueshift really does have an orphanage! Kinda. "Tragic."

Moonracer watches the tape, incredulously, like the others, and stands after it's over. "Your honor, that last bit I can /prove/ has been falsified. It comes from a movie on Earth, called Scarface, which I just happen to have with me, on this datapad. I was watching it on the trip out here!" And she proceeds to key up the last bit, without the very poorly done photoshopping of Topspin's head. "So, how much of the rest of that tape has been tampered with? I happen to have quite a bit of experience with such things in my line of work."

Windshear looks at Cate with an expression of 'what?'... this just wont end. But theres nothing he can say to make it stop... seems the more he tries the worse it gets. He just looks at the judge and then stares at Americon with an expression that defies description.

"If you'll allow me to examine that piece of evidence miss?" the judge asks of Moonracer, a hand extended towards her.

Catechism sighs and shakes her head sadly. "You see, your honour? Windshear goes numb whenever the subject is mentioned - it's just so painful."

Moonracer tries her hardest to not burst into laughter at the Decepticon's antics, and nods, handing the judge the datapad. Also contained on it are several comedies, and the Godfather trilogy.

Catechism spreads her hands and argues, "So, your honour, moderate, responsible drinking is the only thing Windshear can do to kill the crushing pain of existence. Neither Mrs. Windshear nor I were involved in how the Autobots tried to walk out on the bar without paying, I can assure you of that." True facts!

Impactor sighs, "Seriously Hoist? That's all ya got ... I was expectin' a little more out of a smartybot like you. And no Topper, I don't think seein' Moonie will do me ... wish Arcee coulda come up instead."

"OBJECTION!" Americon cries as Moonracer brings up the Scarface movie. "None of these aliens have even HEARD of Scarface, therefore your evidence is admissable because it is unheard of in this place which is not America... in America! Furthermore, we must question HOW the Autobots managed to obtain that security footage and edit it so that Al Pacino's head was superimposed over Topside's head!" He taps his chest, and the Phoenix Wright music that had been playing while he raved ceases.

Windshear decides at this point he might as well play along with this. At Cate's words he nods slowly and tries to sport as sad and mikserable look as he can.

Hoist lets out a sigh of relief as Moonracer steps in and helps with some technical stuff, at best Hoist can plead for... then something strikes him, it's a little underhanded but it might just work. "Your honour i put it that this is all a scheme by the Decepticons to muddy the name of the Autobots who have fought tirelessly against them to stop their tyranny from spreading throughout the universe. I am sure a learned being as yourself has seen or heard of the despicable acts they have perpetrated before, this is merely their latest attempt." Hoist shrugs at Impactor, he may know a lot of things but he's not exactly a giant nerd like say Perceptor, he's a workingmech, a builder by trade. "I'm doing my best Impactor."

Moonracer would like nothing more than to shoot the annoying little Decepticon, and all of them, really, for that matter, but she refrains, and even manages to keep her mouth shut with a bit of effort while the judge looks at the datapad. Glancing at the others, she shrugs and speaks quietly. "I'm better with defending Autobots with some sniper fire. I don't normally defend anyone in court, ya know."

"Objection noted and overruled, the evidence stands as is." the judge notes, looking over the datapad. Dropping it on the floor, he proceeds to jump up and down on the device until the screen is cracked and a few buttons have fallen off. Seizing it from the ground, he hands it back. "Now, I see your device is quite fragile. Evidence is denied entry into this case. Attourneys, I'm going to expedite this trial process ... we'll now be hearing closing arguments, then I'll rule on the matter!"

Catechism continues in a rather calm tone of voice, "Nope, it's not a Decepticon plot to frame the Autobots. They really did blow up a garbage can and tried to walk off without paying their bar tab. They also forgot where they parked their shuttle, so they probably let their parking meter run out, too." She considers her fingers. "I, on the other hand, did nothing, and didn't have a shuttle to park."

Topspin blinks and then drops his head to the table with a loud *THUD* he sighs, "This is pointless.. maybe we should just wreck and rule our way out." h says to Impacror who seems to have allbutgiven up. And maybe its time the Jumpstarter followed in the boss' example.

Moonracer watched her entertainment get smashed, and had to fight herself not to get her rifle and shoot this idiot judge in the face! Speechless as she looked down at her now trashed datapad, she was beginning to contemplate ways to just spring the Autobots out of jail, since it seemed that this judge had already made up it's tiny little alien mind, and it wasn't going to be a 'good' verdict.

Catechism notes, almost grinning, but managing to hold the grin back, "See? The Autobots are threatening to wreck the courthouse and subject you to their oppressive rule. Violent fellows, aren't they?"

Robotic Bald Eagle  bows his head to the judge. "Thank you, your honor. In closing, I would like to say that the Decepticons must not be found guilty of any charges, as none of them committed any acts which are illegal in the State of Texas. Therefore, according to the Tenth Amendment, the prisoners cannot be prosecuted by alien law. And furthermore..." He pops open his briefcase, which, it turns out, is actually some sort of media player. He turns it so the judge can see:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J---aiyznGQ

Hoist gets up and starts pacing back and forth, "Well i'm no big city lawyer your honour, but i move that the charges against the Autobots be dismissed as a case of mechs will be mechs. I believe they have learnt their lesson and won't be doing it again."

"Well, you both admirably defended your comrades in this trial. And I'm pleased to announce that they are all innocent of the charges listed at the beginning of this trial." the judge politely states, taking a care to look closely at Windshear. "And Mrs. Windshear, I only hope and pray that you find your silver lining again."

"BUT, I do find that the Autobots -are- quite guilty of unpaid parking tickets. It appears that mix up with the credit card has resolved itself. And you two plane things, Decepticons? It looks to me that neither of you bothered to even attempt to pay your tab, so you are guilty of Boozing and Mooching. You are all to complete ten hours each of community service by the next three breems. Otherwise, a warrant will be put out for your arrest. Larry, please release the prisoners."

Larry does just that, weaving in and out of the rows to undo the inhibitor collars. Then goes back to the holding cells to release the others ... who are still in alcoholic comas.

Catechism points out, "Your honour, I was unable to pay my bill because I was hauled off by the police. I hardly think it would be fair to ask me to do community service, especially considering my... condition." She drops her hands behind her back, and she /twists/ one of her wrists, hard, until her horrible yellow acid seeps out, hissing and bubbling where it hits the floor. "Wouldn't want anyone catching that, eh? Just let me pay off my bill, and I'll be on my way."

"Request denied, you are all free to go." the judge declares, slamming the gavel down before leaving for quarters behind the bench.

Hoist listens to the judge as he drops all the charges except for parking violations and gives community service as recompense for the shenanigans. He would look bemused but fortunately his faceplate and visor covers his emotions greatly, "Thank you your honour, i am glad to see that this court is fair and just." Once the prisoners are uninhibited Hoist starts to shepard the two Wreckers out of the court as quickly as he can.

"COMMUNITAH SURVICE? Are you serious, that's a load of crap!" Impactor stands up and shouts, raising both hands in the air wildly.

Robotic Bald Eagle  alights upon Catechism's shoulder, saying, "Uh, heheh, actually your honor, we will pay their tabs later! We're Decepticons, so you know we're good for it!" But he immediately turns towards Catechism, mouthing out the word "NO!" as he emphatically shakes his head. However, reading Americon's lips may be somewhat difficult while he is in eagle mode.

Catechism smiles, expression eerily blank as she stands, still dripping that acid. That judge? They're never going to find his body. With her good, non-leaking hand, she reches up to pat Americon. "Ah, community service. How honest. How noble. How... unfufilling to the bar that I was going to pay." Hmm. Maybe they can get access to some of the Olympic arenas and rig them to DESTROY THE AUTOBOTS. She moves to exit the courthouse, whistling.

Topspin hops to his feet and looks at Catechism and takes a sep back away from her, "Wow, Decepticons really do have kooties, or at least that one does." he uses both hands to try and grab Impasctor's arm, "Lets just go home sir, lets not make things any worse!" he pleads

Robotic Bald Eagle  just rides Catechism out of there!

On her shoulder. What?

Moonracer has disconnected.

Topspin goes home.

Topspin has left.