How Backfire Got His 'Groove' Back

 Vendetta says, "Say zho we have someone available that can check out Firebase 1172-A? Zheir transmitter just blinked off."  Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Those sound like words."  Impudent Fool Backfire says, "But they don't make sense."  Vendetta says, "Mais qu'es-ce qui dit?"  Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Is that ancient Cybertronian?"  Vendetta says, "Not it iz just Cybertronian. Vhat is wrong with you?"  Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Where do I start?"  Vendetta says, "Vell you could start by checking out vhat is wrong with zhe Firebase non?"  Impudent Fool Backfire says, "We have a firebase?"  Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Where is this base made of fire??"  Vendetta says, "On zhe outskirts of Nova Cronum. Ve use it to monitor the city and process certain citizens."

Nova Cronum Outskirts - Nova Cronum

Amidst the strange, sizzling waters is the island of Nova Cronum, a philosophers haven. Its held aloft on a plateau with steep, jagged cliffs of ruddy metal, one side occupied by the renowned Praetorus Wharf and the other bleeding into Thunderhead Pass.

 Impudent Fool Backfire says, "And to burn people, right?"  Vendetta says, "I zon't think so but we probably fire at people from zhere."  Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Okay okay, I'm going."  Impudent Fool Backfire says, "But if this base isn't actually made up of fire, I'm totally punching you in the neck."

The Firebase is actually pretty small. The kind of facility operated by a three mech team. One monitoring, one guard and one patrol. Right now it looks like it was hit hard. Smoke and fire can be seen through the open door and there is a seeker's body about three hundred feet from the bunker. On top of the bunker is an orange mech who is doing something which makes no sense. He seems to be folding an antenna into...is that a giant finger?

Following the trail of smoke, the F-16 streaks into the area and quickly transforms. The classic sound reveals Backfire, who activates anti-gravs to drift slowly to the ground.. touching down right in front of the Seeker's body in front of the bunker.

"Helllllllllp meeeeeeee.." the yellow cone-head Seeker croaks out, his hand scraping on Backfire's foot.

"Ho there, orange person dude." Backfire calls out, stepping past the injured soldier and toward the base. "What are you doing here and why are you making the antennae look like.." he inquires, trying to think of what it looks like.

"..a ballerina?"

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected.

Afterburner hears Backfire land and instantly realizes he is in trouble...maybe. He looks over his shoulder at Backfire...Did he just insult my artistic skill? "What do you mean a ballerina? It's a finger! Or will be in a few minutes. What do YOU know about art anyway?"

"Finger?" Backfire scratches his head, cocking it sideways to take in the antennae sculpture. "Nope, don't see it. Wait, do ballerinas even HAVE fingers? Hahaha, silly Autobot fool.. do your RESEARCH next time to make sure that species even has filanges." he smiles smugly, obviously having no idea whatsoever what he's talking about.

Does he ever?

"You have exactly ONE opportunity to cease your meddling and retreat, or I will be forced to rain FIRE and sweet-sweet BRIMSTONE from the heavens themselves on top of your head!!" the Seeker points threateningly at Afterburner, then up to the sky when he mentions heavens.

 Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Attention Aerospace underlings, I am currently engaging an Autobot near Nova Cronum; your attendance is required!!"

Afterburner stops the folding for a sec. "Hahaha! Do you know who I am?" He continues folding a bit and turns around to face Backfire and no he was not folding stuff he was pulling his pistol out. He fires at a shot at the seeker. "Get ready to join your brothers." The technobot uses one of the vent on top of the bunker as cover.

Combat: Afterburner misses Backfire with his Sonic Blaster Pistol attack! [Pulled -3]

Angling his body sideways, Backfire reduces the target area for the pistol blast, allowing it to shoot right past him.

Behind the idiot, the yellow cone-headed Seeker was just getting to his feet.. then BLAM!! Sonic Blaster Pistol shot to his back. The shot reduces him to the ground again, moaning out about help and his injuries.

"Ummm, wait." Backfire says to Afterburner, a sudden moment of clarity washing over his face. "You're Groove, right? Protectobot gardner with the green thumb and golden core??" he asks, taking cover behind a medium sized rock and giving him some return fire of his own.

"Is this a ruse? Are your gestalt members hidden somewhere, trying to combine to take me down eh??"

Combat: Backfire strikes Afterburner with his Pew Pew! (Pistol) attack!

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "The situation is more grave than I'd imagined." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "It's Groove.. I think the Protectobots are nearby, they probably are trying to ambush me!!"

Afterburner ducks behind the vent but that stuff is really thin it does more to hide your form than actually protecting you. The shot goes through and nails the technobot on the other end. "Yeah that's me. Peaceful Groove." Afterburner dashes from behind his cover and dives off the roof towards some pile of rubble on the floor firing a few shots on the way. John Woo would be proud.

Combat: Afterburner sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Afterburner strikes Backfire with his Sonic Blaster Pistol attack! [Pulled -2]

<Decepticon> Vendetta says, "Groove? Vhat did he do? Smoke the guards to death?  Ambush zoes not sound like zhe Protectobot's MO."

The return shot does not go as well as the first, for Backfire at least. Hitting him in the shoulder, it spins the Seeker around once where he then falls to the ground. Sparks fly from the wound, Backfire slaps a hand over it as he stands back up. "Groove the peaceful??" he asks, green toxic energon building in his other palm. "Your actions show otherwise!"

Still cradling the shoulder wound, Backfire juts out his other palm.. the toxic energy shooting forth from it. "I shall give you a warrior's death and have Lord Cyclonus himself sing at your funeral proceedings, Groove!!"

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Backfire strikes Afterburner with his Tainted Love attack! Combat: Backfire's attack has strange and mysterious effects on Afterburner. Combat: Afterburner has been temporarily incapacitated.

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "He must have killed them all with his mystical pacifism arts training."

Afterburner lands hard on the ground rolling and tumbling. He gets hit by Backfire's strange attacks which has the same effect as if someone had just 'tied his shoes together'. The Technobot gets up to run and falls flat on the ground. Actually no. Afterburner does not fall he just...'attacks the ground with his face'. "Whuuuaaatt..."

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Afterburner has 'skipped' his action for this round.

"Glorious sing-song of the Empire you fell to, dear Afterburner." Backfire follows up the promise from before, strutting forward getting nearer and nearer to Afterburner. Releasing the hold on his shoulder, the Seeker allows himself to really start strutting when he realizes what the mysterious effects his toxic energon has wrought on his opponent this time.

Arriving right next to the Technobot, Backfire crouches down and places a hand on Afterburner's cheek. "Fear not, dear Groove.. your death is but a stepping stone in my Aerospace career, Backfire.. GLORY to the EMPIRE!!" he verbally pats himself on the back, rising from the crouched position.

"Regret nothing, except that you had only one miserable life to give for my asscension to Decepticon Command!!" he muses, pulling his patented rocket-launcher from subspace. Floating upwards with the help of anti-gravs, Backfire lets loose with a salvo of incendiary missiles that rain hell down below on his target.

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Backfire strikes Afterburner with his Rock-It Lawn-Chair attack!

Afterburner gets peppered by the incendiary rockets. He suddenly gets up screaming and rolling on the ground "Why you piece of slag! I will tear you apart!" Afterburner runs at Backfire with a leap kick to the chest.

Combat: Afterburner misses Backfire with his Leap-Kick! (Kick) attack!

<<WARNING: Energon levels depleted, cutting energon supply to all but vital systems!!>>

Backfire's automated energon warning system, custom built by Harrow for his unique energon signature, kicks in.. cutting out his anti-gravs and making the Seeker fall to the ground like a wet sack of potatoes.

Narrowly and luckily missing Afterburner's jump kick.

"Blasted diode glitch of a.." Backfire scowls, "System override: password Backfire is the best ever." he bites out, recharging systems and making an ugly face at Afterburner.

<<Systems override accepted.>>

"Now, where were we? Ah yes, you were going to 'tear me apart' Groove? Don't be rediculous!!" Backfire laughs, taking a couple of pot shots at the Autobot he's mistaking as another Autobot. "First, you're not a qualified technician.. OSHAA would have your hide if you operated without license! Secondly.. well, I forgot the second part. But I'm sure it was -realllllly- important!!"

Combat: Backfire strikes Afterburner with his More Pew Pew!! (Pistol) attack!

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Ahahahaha, this pathetic Groove doesn't stand a chance against one of Lord Galvatron's BEST air warriors!!"

Afterburner is boiling with rage but stil lucid enough for what comes next. Another shot hits the mark. "Allright you jerk. The gloves are comin' off!" The technobot transforms into his bike mode and drives away...Skids and spins 180 and charges at Backfire. "Let's see YOU like Incendiary stuff." He fires off an Incendiary rocket at the seeker.

Afterburner folds with the classic noise into an Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike

Combat: Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner> strikes Backfire with his Incendiary Missiles attack!

<Decepticon> Vendetta says, "That's the spirit!"

Rumble quietly arrives. He's just so darned tiny, it's very possible that neither combatant will even notice him, as he isn't making a great deal of effort to be noticed. He flies into the area, lands at the entrance to the Hellbender, then makes his way inside.

"Why in the world would you wear gloves?" Backfire questions, right before he's engulfed in an explosion.

As the plumes of smoke trail away from his frame, the acrid stench accompanies it, Backfire is a blackened smudge that falls to the ground with a PLUNK!! Fires spring up from a couple of hull breaches, systems springing into place either extinguishing the flames or sealing the damaged circuitry off altogether. His hand wipes a thick black grime from his face, his red optics burn bright. "You insufferable curr, do you know what you've done??" Backfire curses, standing to his feet.

"You have not only assaulted one of Lord Galvatron's chosen.. no, you've also gotten me DIRTY!!" he pratically foams at the mouth, arming a laser-weapon attached to the side of his arm. "Do you know how many credits it costs to clean this GRIME??" he questions and fires off some more shots from his arm-laser, growing increasingly angered.

Combat: Backfire strikes Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner> with his Fighting Dirty! (Laser) attack!

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I don't.. think this is Groove."

Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner> skids a bit as the laser strikes the canopy "HAHAHA! If I had known all I needed to make you snap was to get you dirty I would have gone about this a whole different way." The bike revs up it's engine which makes a funny noise in 6th gear. The Bike-mounted Plasma Cannon fires a series of blue bolt cackling with energy at the seeker.

Combat: Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner> strikes Backfire with his Plasma Pulse Cannon attack! [Pulled -3]

Combat: Critical Hit! Combat: Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner>'s weapon has jammed!

<Decepticon> Vendetta says, "Vhy not?" <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "He's not at all peaceful." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "And he's sober." <Decepticon> Rumble says, "That's Afterburner! Ain't you never met him before??"

The plasma cannons shred into his interior support systems, mainly the actual physcial frame in place keeping him standing and upright. Buckling at the knees, Backfire goes down to a Tim Tebow-esque stance with his head hung low. Growing weary of this battle, and running dangerously low on energon, the Seeker raises his head to guage his opponent.

"Vile treachorous snake, I'll rip the vocal processor right out of your throat!!" Backfire threatens, loading another rocket into his launcher. He considers either unleashing the fusion cannon or Hypno-Ray on this fool, but either option aren't energy efficient. If only he could get into the firebase, maybe there are fire-themed weaponry kept there?

Taking aim at the front of the bike, Backfire lets loose with another rocket. "I changed my mind, you don't DESERVE the chance to hear Lord Cyclonus' sweet singing voice, even at your funeral!!"

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Backfire strikes Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner> with his No Sing-Song For You! attack! [Pulled -1]

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Well, he changes into a bike." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "How many people do they have transforming into bikes??" <Decepticon> Vendetta says, "I don't know. How many people do we have transforming into aircrafts?"

Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner> is momentarily distracted by Backfire's joke and gets hit by the rocket. Lucky the bike's armor is decent enough to absorb some of the damage. "Cyclonus sings? BWAHAAHAHA! That is funny. You want to rip my vocal processor out of my throat? Hahaha!" The Plasma Cannon jammed. Got to buy a little time. "I will rip your vocalizer out your aft and feed it back to you!"

"You'd have a LONG way to go to rip it from that portion of my body." Backfire laughs, stumbling his way to a boulder. Leaning out with an outstretched hand, the Seeker glares at the Technobot. "You know, I don't think you've been honest with me.. I don't think you're GROOVE at all, that's what I think!!" he states, attempting to shunt emergency energy into his load bearing joints in his arms.

Seizing up the medium sized boulder, Backfire attempts to hurl it at his would-be aggressor. "You lied to me, deception runs in your energon stream.. have you heard about the DECEPTICONS??" he smiles, collapsing back against the ground.

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Backfire strikes Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner> with his BOLL-DARR (Kick) attack!

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "How am I supposed to know??" <Decepticon> Rumble says, "Uh...you look it up on the computer." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Wait, I know!" <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "We should look it up on the computer."

The boulder is too massive to recover from. It hits the bike and sends it tumbling and skiding on the ground. "Arg...Of course I am not Groove you moron. Do I sound like a hippy?" The bike transforms back into robot mode. Afterburner charges at Backfire "Are you calling me a Decepticon?" He might have taken that personally. Like everything in life. He jumps on the seeker and begins to wail punches like a high 90's wrestler. The Cybertronian attack bike unfolds with the classic noise into Afterburner's robot mode.

Combat: Afterburner strikes Backfire with his Flurry of punches! (Punch) attack!

Not one for a slobber knocker, Backfire shrieks when he's assaulted via fists in his face by Afterburner. Kicking away madly, the Decepticon tries to gain his bearings and fend off his assailant. "You all sound the same to me, Autobrat!" he cries out, still hap-hazardly flailing his arms around.

"Well, I'm just saying.. if they fire you for getting beaten up by me, you can TRY to join up with the WINNNING team you fool!!"

Combat: Backfire strikes Afterburner with his ROFLcopter (Punch) attack!

<Decepticon> Rumble sighs.

Afterburner gets clocked by Backfire "Just my luck. The one Decepticon that hits like a Protectobot." The technobot looks a bit disgusted and gets up transforms and drives away. "Learn to fight and I will be back. Count on it!" Afterburner folds with the classic noise into an Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike

Combat: Armored Cybertronian Attack Bike <Afterburner> begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

Did he just.. win?

Getting up to his feet, painfully, Backfire looks down at his fists and then to the departing Afterburner. "I mean, of course I won.. I am pretty amazing afterall. They don't call me the Sultan of sin, the despot of d-words, the ruler of fighting for NOTHING!" he laughs, stretching out a pointed finger towards the retreating Technobot.

"And don't come back, you hear? Or Backfire, GLORY of the EMPIRE will punch you in the face again.. and then I'll have Scrapper build you another face." he keeps pointing at the tiny speck that is Afterburner in the distance.

"So I can punch that face too!" <Public> Fluttershy's worst nightmare. Buzzsaw takes those eyeballs over as well. <Public> GroundControl to MajorDenial Blast Off aiiighs, flails...WAIT I DON'T HAVE EYEBALLS >:I

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Firebase is under Decepticon control again, the Autofool has been beaten into submission!!" <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "What ARE you talking about?" <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I.. BACKFIRE, glory of the EMPIRE has defended the Firebase outside of Nova Cronum from the Autobots, you lazy curr!" <Decepticon> Vendetta says, "Excellent work Backfire. You vill make a great aerospace commander someday." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire sulks, "I.. was fired from Aerospace commander." <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "DON'T REMIND ME." <Decepticon> Buzzsaw says, "Just don't send him to Intelligence." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Silence, fool. How you ever ascended to the great rank of Aerospace Commander, I know not.. but Backfire shall unseat you soon enough!" <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "Vendetta, I MAKE AN EXCELLENT AEROSPACE COMMANDER. And *I* intend to KEEP it." <Decepticon> Buzzsaw says, "We should counterattack now while their attention is on recovering the fallen one in Tarn. I am assuming the Autobot is fallen, right? You would not allow it to escape ... right?" <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I am in Nova Cronum, bird brain." <Decepticon> Rumble says, "Nah, he just left." <Decepticon> Buzzsaw sighs audibly. <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Before any of you cowards start giving your opinion, just remember this day.. BACKFIRE saved your miserable wretch of a lasercore." <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "You are both there, then, Rumble?" <Decepticon> Buzzsaw says, "Because mine was in such a threatened position to begin with... Pardon me if I do not feel thoroughly 'saved'." <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "Oh PLEASE, Backfire. You will address a Superior Officer with more respect or I shall have you scrubbing the non-sentient space shuttles again. /The ones infested with space barnacles./" <Decepticon> Rumble says, "I was checkin' the fuel levels at the Hellbender, so they were fightin' close by but that was Backfire's fight." <Decepticon> Vendetta says, "I hate to break the chatter up but Backfire DOES have a point. He responded very rapidly and with efficiency.  I zhink he should be recommended for a medal." <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "Wait. You're telling me he actually DID fight an Autofool- and WIN?" <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Heh." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "A -REAL- Aerospace Commander would have been leading his troops, from the FRONT." <Decepticon> Blast Off grumbles. "Well... I don't know about a MEDAL.... but ... very well, you did a... WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN? <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Also, don't threaten me with space barnacles you fool.. soon they will rise to become my LEGION of Cybertronian Barnacle Space warriors who win this war for us!!" <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "Very well then. Am I to take it you would enjoy scrubbing them then? If you are so close and all. Who knows, it could be quality time between you and the... space barnacles." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Yes yes, I'll order someone else to do the job you're ordering me to do." <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "OH NO. The space barnacles specifically requested YOU." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I'm delegating, that's what middle rankers like me do." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "We DELEGATE!" <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "What are you tal... actually... wait. That-that almost makes sense." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "For being -realllllly- fast, you are pretty slow to catch on." <Decepticon> Blast Off says, "THAT DOES IT. Vendetta, note that Backfire is assigned non-sentient space shuttle scrubbing duty in 0500 vorns." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Vendetta, note that Backfire plans on creating an automated copy of himself for non-sentient space shuttle scrubbing duty." <Decepticon> Vendetta's broadband connection clicks off. <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Vendetta, don't say anything if you agree my plan is better than Blast Off's." <Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "A-Ha!" <Decepticon> Blast Off grumbles again.