Decepticon Board Archive November 2029

All That Glitters (Scrapper)


Per Shockwave's request for gold, Catechism, myself, and Shockwave executed a near picture perfect smash and grab in Toronto, Canada. I infiltrated near the target, a jewellry store in the city's downtown. Catechism met me and we began the attack. Two Autobots, Sky Lynx and another identified as Mishap, confronted us. That's when we sprung the second part of the plan - Shockwave ambushed Sky Lynx, and with Catechism's help the Autobot was downed. This Mishap mech meanwhile was easily dispatched, and while Shockwave and Sky Lynx battled, I and several drones made off with the jewellry.

A very successful run.

- Scrapper

TERRORCONS! (Sinnertwin)
(Audio only, because Sinnertwin is lazy)

"Terrorcons! Our time is now! Galvatron has given me--US--an important mission: the obliteration and total decimation of the Autobot Punch. I will take command in Hun-Grrr's abscence and lead us to victory! TERRORCONS, OUR SHINING MOMENT IS FINALLY HERE! Let us prove our worth and show the world what we were made for! The utter and complete destruction of the Autobots!"

Seacons (Scrapper)


During a debriefing session that Catechism, Fleet, myself, and a few others had with the captured Seacons, Snaptrap indicated that the brainwashing that he and his fellows received at the tentacles of the Quintessons had worn off. I can run them through medical experiments in the lab, but I don't think I'm going to find evidence one way or another whether they're telling the truth. As Catechism has pointed out, we could use another Gestalt team and we could have them out on a trial basis.

Alternatively we could go with the old bomb in the head trick. That one never fails.

We await your command, oh mighty Lord Galvatron.

- Scrapper

Re: Seacons (Galvatron)


Be sure that all six have been interrogated as thoroughly as possible. Even the idiots. Especially the idiots.

Then attach bombs to their laser cores.

Galvatron out.



pickering.mp3 (Shockwave)
An audio file dictated in Shockwave's excessively dry voice.

"Great Galvatron ordered that the Pickering Nuclear Generating Station located in a suburb of Toronto be induced to melt down.

I tasked Fusillade with the destruction of the cooling systems while I breached the Earthlings' hopelessly primitive computer systems and overrode the safety mechanisms.

For reasons that remain unclear due to difficulty in examining the reactor core in its current superheated state, while the generating plant was destroyed and is emitting radiation in excess of 100 roentgens per hour throughout a quarter-mile radius, the reaction did not go sufficiently critical to cause the desired explosion.

I must therefore conclude that the mission was a failure, but a failure mitigated by a great deal of destruction affecting the local infrastructure as well as the health of biomass in the vicinity.

I have assigned Blast Off to orbital station above Pickering with the intent of preventing human or Autobot crews from effecting a cleanup of the site."

Shockwave pauses briefly as if shuffling paper or accessing his hard drive.

"In a side note, the Junkions sent one representative and a human in one of the Junkion battle-wagons. It was disabled in the ensuing battle, with the Junkion and human evacuating. I did not prevent their escape as they were not at that point hostile, but we did recover the remains of the battle-wagon for salvage. It has been deposited in four sections in vehicle hangar #18 in New Crystal City's shuttle bay for reassembly or further breakdown.

End of line."

What Cyclonus Did (Scrapper)
Scrapper appears on the screen. He's a bit scrapped up and has some burn marks on him, but that's about it.

"Hail, fellow Decepticons. I regret to inform you that Cyclonus has gone insane... again. Our second in command had us undertake a mission to capture Cliffjumper of all people. I'm not entirely sure why, but when Cyclonus says jump we jump. There was an additional assignment to destroy a power plant near Toronto, but that is outside the scope of this report and I will leave it to those who were there at that part of the mission to discuss."

Scrapper folds his arms, clearly annoyed with whatever Cyclonus did. "At any rate, Onslaught, Blitzwing, Fleet, and myself managed to nab Cliffjumper during a brawl, and Fleet and I joined Cyclonus on the Conquest II for whatever he wanted next. To our surprise, he took us to another planet." Pause. "Yeah... yeah I didn't really see that coming. He began rambling on and on about his mysterious mission but wasn't able to elaborate. Eventually we landed with the Autobots and their shuttle in hot pursuit. He led us to a temple on the planet."

"There Cyclonus attempted to... look, you're going to think I'm crazy but this is the honest truth - Fleet can back me up on this - Cyclonus tried to sacrifice Cliffjumper in order to summon Unicron." Pause. "Yeah I really didn't see /that/ coming /either/. Fleet and I of course were trying to dissuade him from his crazy plan, but to no avail. At any rate, obviously the summoning attempt failed because summoning Unicron like that is retarded for several reasons. The Autobots arrived and blasted Cyclonus in the back. Fleet and I managed to hold off Ultra Magnus, Raptor, Perceptor, Nightbeat, and Steeltread as we hauled Cyclonus back to the shuttle and escaped, though we lost Cliffjumper in the process. I have Cyclonus in the medical bay, guarded and under sedation. We await your orders on what to do with him, Lord Galvatron."

Having explained the distasteful actions of the Decepticon second in command, Scrapper turns to a happier topic. "I also wanted to note that Fleet did a marvellous job in fighting the Autobots, helping me with Cyclonus, and keeping his wits about him while we were under heavy fire. He is a credit to Decepticon Aerospace, and as Commander of MSE I am submitting a request to have him promoted to a position where he would be able to lead others into battle. Any approval of this request is up to Ramjet and Galvatron, of course. He would do well in a position where he'd have authority over others."

"That is all from me. Scrapper out."

Charr Energon Inventory Discrepanc (Spreadsheet)
For those who monitor such things, the latest inventory report from Charr shows the inventory short by at least 42 energon cubes. Oh, woe! Surely, such a thing wouldn't have happened had Ratbat been there to oversee such things!

It would seem that Spreadsheet, the Seeker under whose name the report was submitted, has high-tailed it for the hills immediately after the report was entered in.

OOC: Investigation requests go to Fleet.

Cybertron Aerospace Orders (Catechism)
Catechism appears, stalking around in front of a screen. She does not look pleased. On the giant screen, she calls up the Charr tallies, and she rants, "These energon totals are much too low. Aerospace of Cybertron, I want to see you out there and raiding for more energon! The Imperial war machine requires it."

She then pulls up a picture of assorted explosives and continues, "I also want raids for explosives within the next week. We will have need of them shortly."

Another slide, now showing an all-white Counterpunch fighting an all-black Punch. "I would also like to make a request of DCI and any assorted personnel with intel capabilities. I need detailed information on the Iahex spaceport defences."

Catechism switches slides again, now showing some Xena-style warrior women. "Also, the mountains," cough, "of planet Femax may contain subspace lockdown technology that we could use to hijack spacebridges, according to Snaptrap. I'm going to look into stealing these plans from Femax, but I expect that we will encounter strong opposition - the women of Femax are known for their fierce warrior nature."

Finally, she shows a slide of Earth with a great big knife stabbed into it from space. "The fleshings grow too audacious. I suggest that we crush their hopes of expansion, starting with this rumoured EDC excursion."

"The Empire prevails. Catechism, out."

Absolution Complete (Galvatron)


"I have received word from the Plutonian shipyard that the /Absolution/ has been completed. We will launch it as soon as possible --

"-- and in a /display/ of our newfound /POWER/, we will cut the EDC's little /space jaunt/ in /TWO/! There will be NO question as to WHO the dominant power in the galaxy is -- /GALVATRON/!

"GALVATRON OUT!"



INFAMY (Cyclonus)
Cyclonus appears on the screen, slightly battered but fuming, his face creased in uncharacteristic rage.

"INFAMY!" he bellows, a fist raists. "INFAMY! INFAMY! Taking a squadron of Sweeps, I encountered a mechanoid disguised as the infamous STARSCREAM attacking Japan. Whether this was some mysterious return or a sick hoax, Galvatron is ANGERED!"

He points a finger at the screen. "Decepticons, we will move the schedule forwards. We raize Iahex to the ground in FIVE SOLAR DAYS. None shall mock us and survive!"

Femax Invasion! (Fleet)
Spinny. Fleet.

"At the request of Commander Catechism, Arachnae, Brigand, Sunder, and I infiltrated the 'Golden Realm' of the planet Femax to see if we couldn't discover the plans for the subspace lockdown technology that the Seacons reported stealing from that planet. In fact, we found something better: the scientist who had built the original has apparently constructed a newer unit to replace it. By now, Sunder should have already dropped it off at our labs, where it awaits examination by our scientists. Fleet, out."

energon raid (Razorclaw)


Yesterday, the Predacons and Avalanche did a raid of the Trinidad Oil fields. Mostly uneventful until the terrans started rolling their tanks. Divebomb saw them way before they got to the fields. Successful Raid. Catechism....you now have an extra 1550 gallons of Energon in your stores from Tantrum's storage tanks. We will be making more raids in the future for your war machine, Catechism.

Alpha Razorclaw, out.

Autobot Hunting (Dead End)
Dead End's face shimmers onto the screen as the Stunticon's red optics glow in the dim background.

"An assault by myself, sweep Sunder, and Sinnertwin on the terran oil fields of Western Canada drew out both an auotobot and a junkion - not that it matters; they escaped. However, the side-effect of the attack left your stores with a substantial amount of energon, Commander."

Dead End makes a vaguely frowning face.

"The exact number is indeterminate, as Sinnertwin gorged itself immediately upon the raid's beginning.

That's all I have to report."

Shrike captured (Catechism)
Catechism appears, and there is rather less of her than usual - various parts that would compose her jet mode have been shot off. She reports, despite the injuries, "Fleet, Dreadwind, Commander Shockwave, and I came across the EDC debuting a modified Shrike. The EDC and their Autobot masters jealously protected their new toy, but it was to no avail," the shot pans over to the Shrike sitting in the NCC medical ward. "Two Talons, however many EDC ground soldiers, Gears, Grimlock, Kup, Silverbolt, and Fireflight weren't enough to keep it from our clutches. One request. Once our engineers have taken it apart to see how far the fleshlings have come since Kitty Hawk, might I have the remains of the craft? Catechism, out."

Request: Cassetticon Value Level (Scrapper)


To: Soundwave From: Scrapper Form: Cassetticon Value Level Subject: Heck if I know Attachments: unknown_cassetticon.jpg (OOC: Hinder) Additional Comments: What the hell, Soundwave? With each passing Cassetticon you make they just get /stupider/ and /stupider/. Anyway, two questions: First, what new Cassetticon is this? Second, what is its Cassetticon Value Level rated at? I need to know in case I need to kill it. Thanks.

Re: Scrapper (Soundwave)


To: Scrapper From: Soundwave Form: Cassetticon Value Level Subject: Re: Heck if I know Attachments: armoroptionalconstructiconkegger.jpg Additional Comments: Rate Cassetticon intelligence in units of Bonecrushers and resubmit form.

Re: Soundwave (Scrapper)


To: Soundwave From: Scrapper Form: Cassetticon Value Level Subject: Heck if I know Attachments: unknown_cassetticon.jpg (OOC: Hinder) Additional Comments: Cassetticon intelligence rates 2 Bonecrushers with 1 Blot remainder.

Re: Scrapper (Soundwave)


To: Scrapper From: Soundwave Form: Cassetticon Value Level Subject: Re: Re: Re: Heck if I know Attachments: hookscrapperbrotherlylove.jpg Additional Comments: Randomly sampled Cassetticon value is equal to twice equivalent randomly sampled Constructicon value.

Punch's Extermination (Sinnertwin)
Sinnertwin appears, standing in the middle of what looks like a giant scorch mark.

"Earlier today, I was informed of Punch's location by a very helpful Counterpunch. The Autobot was just standing around while stacking a variety of explosives in to large piles. Using my quick thinking, I caused a HORRIBLE and AMAZING explosion that DECIMATED the entire area and caused IMMEASURABLE PAIN to the foolishly foolish fool."

He holds up Punch's severed head and repeatedly thrusts it in the viewers face. "SEE? DO YOU SEE IT? PUNCH IS NO LONGER LIVING. HE HAS CEASED TO EXIST. HE IS DEAD. I MURDERED HIM. THIS IS ALL THAT IS LEFT OF HIM, THIS IS THE ONLY PROOF THAT HE WAS EVER IN THIS PATHETIC WORLD. IF THIS HASN'T CONVINCED YOU, COUNTERPUNCH WAS ON SCENE TO CONFIRM THE KILL. DID YOU HEAR THAT? HE CONFIRMED IT!"

The video feed cuts off for a few seconds. When it returns, Punch's head is impaled on a stick driven in to the ground. Sinnertwin begins to toss rocks at it. "DEATH TO ALL AUTOBOTS! HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!"

BRUNT-CAM (Trypticon)
A shaky image appears on the screen, staticy with the legend "BRUNT-CAM - RECORDING", the message obviously from Trypticon's purple cannon friend, Brunt.

The image is a whirl, of Trypticon grappling with Metroplex as the two fly into space, Brunt atop Trypticon with Full-Tilt tied to him screaming, static fizzling as the fight goes on. And then he tilts, to see the destination - THE SUN!

Then the transmission cuts out!

AAR: Operation Ironsides (team 2) (Shockwave)
Shockwave dictates this report while audibly busy in the war room. The camera is displaying a Decepticon logo against a black background.

"After action report, Operation Ironsides, team two, Commanding officer Shockwave reporting.

"We began the operation at 26:30:43 Cybertron time. Entering the equatorial tunnel via Undisclosed Location #2410, a team consisting of myself, Scrapper, Catechism, Avalanche, Hinder and Fleet traversed the equatorial tunnel to the junction with the Tunnel of Retoris, where we were to mine the tunnel, draw out as many as possible of the Autobot defenders beyond the mined point, then detonate the explosives to collapse the tunnel behind the Autobots, thereby preventing them from returning to the defense of Iahex with the main assault group."

The screen updates to display the following chart: http://chart.apis.google.com/chart?cht=p3&chd=t:40,40,20&chs=400x150&chl=Not%20Traitor|Possible%20Traitor|Traitor&chco=FF00FF

"Unfortunately our team was compromised by forces unknown. Fleet and Scrapper are traitors. Scourge and Sunder, who arrived late and briefly harassed the Autobots, and Hinder, who clung to Avalanche but made no attack against the Autobots, may or may not be traitors. Catechism, who was disabled by treachery, and myself, are not to the best of my awareness traitors.

"Next slide."

http://chart.apis.google.com/chart?cht=lc&chd=t:60,65,75,70,30,10&chs=800x300&chl=00:00|00:30|01:00|01:30|02:00|2:30&chxt=x,y,r&chtt=Likelihood%20of%20Success&chco=FF00FF appears on the screen next.

"I started the clock upon hard contact with the enemy. Avalanche detected them via sonic sensors. We outnumbered the enemy forces, although they were formidable, being comprised of Grimlock, Swoop, Silverbolt and another Aerialbot, and an unknown Autobot tow-truck. The battle went well initially in spite of Soundwave's minion being of no use whatsoever. It was salvageable through the one-minute-thirty-second mark, where Catechism was suffering serious damage from fending off two Autobots, and I had all but defeated Swoop. It was at this point that Kup arrived from the Autobot end of the tunnel, with a warning for us that our organization may have been compromised by double agents. At one minute thirty-six seconds, Fleet revealed his treachery and fired upon the explosive early, disabling Catechism and preventing us from trapping the Autobots. I scrambled Fleet's neurological activity with a microwave pulse and ordered that Scrapper take him into custody.

"Scrapper collected Fleet and withdrew into the tunnels. He assumed radio silence and has not been seen nor heard from since. I can only conclude that he has also turned traitor. The Autobots withdrew, pursued briefly by the Sweeps. At three minutes into the engagement I called the retreat.

"End of line," concludes Shockwave, and the recording blinks out.

Debrief and Orders (Cyclonus)
Cyclonus appears on screen, seated in his own, smaller throne on the Absolution. His optics shine brightly, and dare we say it, evilly.

"Decepticon!" he thunders. "The Iahex assault did... NOT go to plan. The tunnel assault team did a sterling job however." He holds up two shining medals. "Imperial medals of valor are to be given to Shockwave and Catechism for their role in leading the attack."

Cyclonus then slowly crushes the medals in his hand. "And then the medals will be taken AWAY for the FAILURE of the overall assault. This is due to TRAITORS and FAILURE!"

An image of Trypticon flying into the sun from BRUNT-CAM can be seen on the screen. "Trypticon is missing in action. Operations, you are to LOCATE and RECOVER Trypticon!" (OOC - talk to Mr Shifty!)

An image from Soundwave of the scuffle with The Fallen in the Iahex spacebridge room is then shown. "Intelligence, you are to ascertain the identity of this Cybertronian and if he can be of any use to Galvatron's mighty cause!" (OOC - talk to TP staff or any players involved!)

Cyclonus leans towards the screen. "I hold Scrapper FULLY responsible for the FAILURE of the subspace lockdown unit to teleport myself into Iahex. I want him found, interrogated and FLAYED. There will be reward for whoever achieves this!"

Cyclonus then sits back into his throne. "Further orders will be forthcoming once we have ascertained the Autobot's situation. For now, base of operations is the Absolution. Go forth and do Galvatron's WILL!"

Seacons (Galvatron)
TEXT ONLY MEMORANDUM

Have the Seacons been fitted with loyalty-enhancement explosives yet, as I ordered /some time ago/?

Galvatron

END COMMUNICATION

The Matrix (Americon)
There is the usual Decepticon spinny, spinning around and around, then SUDDENLY--

"SQUAWWWWWWK!" OH GEEZE! Big closeup on Americon's beak as he squawks at the viewer, who was, hopefully, sitting down. "Hello fellow Decepticons! I have a REAL AMERICAN report for you! The Matrix is missing! Did you know that?! Yeah, Soundwave totally recorded that happening! Some fiery guy beat up Rodimus and tried to steal the Matrix, but he didn't have it! So then I was like, "Hey, guys, we need to go to this planet!" But I forgot to tell them why we were going there! Well, it was nice of them to come along anyway! Thanks, guys!

"So, yeah, I was following a tip from this "guy" I "know" that The Matrix was on Planet 501.A. And it was! Just not the *Autobot* Matrix. Nah, we found the movie The Matrix, instead. And we still should've stolen it, you know! Ah, well. Guess I'll have to rob a Best Buy or something. So, yeah, these bureaucrat dudes didn't have it, but they tried to get it from Gycony on Monacus, so, I dunno, maybe he has it? It's certainly a possibility... in AMERICA!"

Americon waddles away from the camera, and the camera continues to record for hours and hours. It's probably still recording even now.

Matrix / Aerospace (Galvatron)


I want that Matrix.

I want it /yesterday/.

Catechism is now standing Air Commander; finding the Matrix is now NUMBER ONE PRIORITY.

All available resources will be redirected toward this end. I must have the Matrix -- /failure/ is /unacceptable/. I. Want. The. Matrix.

And my will shall be done.

Galvatron



Aerospace XO (Catechism)
Catechism appears, sitting in the medical ward of the Absolution on a medical table, the Shady Medic wiping horrible gravy off her frame. It's better not to ask. She decrees, "Dirge - congratulations. You're now the XO of Aerospace. Our primary objective, at the moment, is to see the Matrix fall into Decepticon hands as soon as possible. Secondary objective is, as always, to stomp the Autobots. Air Commander Catechism, out."

The cameras zooms way, way in on her. Is that can of cone polish in the Shady Medic's hand? Her cone sparkles, and the Decepticon spinny returns.

Re: Aerospace XO (Dirge)


"I hear and obey, -Air Commander-. Though your name will be lost to the annals of history, your deeds shall persist indefinitely in the twisted forms of the myriad dead you will leave strewn in your wake. At the end of all things, I will hoist your lifeless skull aloft so that your hollow eyes can witness the ravages of the past made future, and say, "This was in part -your- making." And I will hurl you into the yawning abyss where you might join in damned chorus with those who were before and those who will be. And as the darkness slowly consumes the universe, they will have forgotten.

But -I- will remember.

Until then, I await your orders."



Signal Intelligence (Shade)


After a diversionary attack against the Autobot and EDC forces on Monacus to make time for Galvatron to search for information leading to the Matrix, I decoded radio signals between the Autobots and EDC discussing someone or something named Al-Manaq on Delta Parvenu Ten. From the context, it seems that may be our opponents next stop on this particular treasure hunt.