2033 Olympics: Whirl & Backfire vs. Lars Daalgard & Groove

Volcano Peak

The steam and smoke make it almost impossible as it swirls around you to see. The lava is seen bubbling and churning inside the volcano. Ash floats around in the air covering things nearby as it filters up from the volcano. The air is very very hot around here. Jagged rocks are all over the ground. Most if not all the plant life is dead up here. Down below at the base of the volcano you can see the bubbling tar pits.

Contents:

Torque

Lars Daalgard

Groove

Backfire

Obvious exits:

Southwest  leads to Rocky Cliffs.

Down  leads to Tar Pits.

Lars climbs up and takes command of his Centurion.

The arena is positively scorching this afternoon around the lip of the roiling volcano, a nasty cloud of smog and ash pouring from the open mouth while lava bubbles lazily far down below in the belly of the beast. Spectators are currently set up in enviro-protected stands hovering around the volcanic ring, helping to keep the viewers from overheating or having smoke inhilation.

Torque, while in her time off, has agreed to actually judge this match instead of simply watch, the femme set up on the edge of the volcano, mic in hand as she beams to the crowd, sweeping free hand to them all. "Welcome, ladies, gentlmen, and various other genders! Today's fight is gonna be hot hot hot! And not just because of the volcano!" She chuckles softly, now gesturing to the two teams. "On the left, we have the EDC's Lars Daalgard and Autobot Groove ready to face off against their opponents on the right, Autobot Whirl and Decepticon Backfire! Back it entertaining, boys! And don't worry, we've set up some nets over the lava below. Don't want you burning up on us!" Torque chuckles again before finally waving her hand down and immediatly stepping back, "Have at it!"

Lars, sitting in his crab-tank's unbuttoned commander's hatch, raises a hand to the crowd silently in a polite wave. His driver waves from his hatch, too, but nobody knows his name because he only speaks Norwegian.

Groove leans against Lars' tank, waving to the crowd when Torque introducing his team. "So weird how we have guys that wear human suits and call them Pretenders, but no one is calling you a Pretender class human. Crazy, right? Ah well, we'll do some pondering later on over some bread that I baked with a South American tribe. It was amazing. Did you know that beads have a lot of spiritual significance?" He rattles the tacky beads he's wearing around his neck. "Let's hope the gods are with us, Amigo."

Whirl stands on his side of the volcano looking so awesome and cool, probably because of the awesome costume he's wearing. His previously blue (and then pink) armor has been painted a hideous shade of orange with some bright red and gross brown detailing thrown in. Duct taped to his back is a pair of seeker wings made from the finest cardboard and painted the same terrible colours as the rest of his body. The most important detail, the detail that really seals the deal, is the second optic (also made of cardboard) taped next to his original one. It really is the best Backfire costume ever, you wouldn't even be able to tell the difference between it and the real thing. Maybe.

"Woo! I am so ready to fight! Uh, I mean.. I'm Backfire! Blahblahblah I'm dumb and crazy and I love Torque's big hands because I'm weird like that!"

"May our worthy ancestors smile on us from Valhalla," Lars replies coolly. It's always hard to tell when he's being ironic. He adds as he adjusts his radio headset and throat mic, "These two look... unpredictable."

Whirl is here, looking.. well. To be frank? Far more stupid than usual.

You know why? Because it's really Backfire dressed up as the Wrecking machine! Standing there, the Seeker is outfitted in one of those little spinny propellor hats in Whirl colors, a large dot centered in the middle of his face (he looks like one of those 'sniffer' dudes from the second Riddick movie), big cardboard pinchers taped to his actual fingers, and finally ski-shoes worn on his feet. He's been haphazardly spray painted blue, he nervously flickers his pinchers.

"What? I -so- don.. I mean. Blargity blarg blarg I am a WRECKER!" he shouts, giving the real Whirl a look of disgust. WELL, two can play this game. "Backfire-chan, you're so much COOLER than me! I'm just a lonely helicopter. Help me not suck so much!!"

GAME: Torque rolls a (100)-sided die:

ROLL: Whirl rolled a 38

ROLL: Lars Daalgard rolled a 35

ROLL: Groove rolled a 22

ROLL: Backfire rolled a 7

"Well, I guess we should have dressed as each other...I've got extra beads if you want them..." Whirl raps a good luck rap on the tank and runs forward, drawing his photon pistol. "Everyone have fun! That's what's important in the end! Hi Torque!" He waves up to the judge while he opens fire with PHOTON POWER.

Combat: Groove misses Backfire with his Photon Pistol attack!

Lars seals his command hatch and gives the gunner a good-luck slap on the shoulder. He orders the driver to advance at a slow walk and the loader to target the Autobot with the coaxial gun.

The Centurion's big diesel grinds into life with a puff of black smoke from the exhausts, and rising on its crab-like legs, it begins to pick its way across the smoldering battlefield towards the enemy, heavy machinegun banging away.

Combat: Centurion II MBW sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Centurion II MBW misses Whirl with his .50cal Coaxial HMG attack! [Pulled -2]

The horribly dressed Whirl AKA Backfire easily dodges out of the way, giving his hat propellor a spin and rising into the air. "Man, I must have absorbed some of your AWESOME dodging ability Backfire!" he remarks, smiling.. though the grin is covered by that huge glass uni-optic the Seeker is wearing.

Clacking his pinchers, Backwhirl fires off a shot from his SEEKER arm-mounted lasers and adds some banter. "We are here to WRECK and RULE!!" he laughs, "And since my partner RULES.. I guess I must WRECK!!"

Combat: Backfire misses Groove with his ARM LAZORZ! (Laser) attack!

Whirl has to admit that Backfire's costume is pretty good. He really likes the crazy hat and the ski shoes but the paintjob was obviously a low effort one and that really brings down his score. "Don't be silly, Whirl! I'm actually the lonely, sucky loser! If I could just have one wish, I would wish to be a cool helicopter just like you. Oh yeah and also you're also a waayy hotter drag queen, I'm just so ugly in comparison."

He'd go on, OH would he go on! But the fight begins and Whirl finds himself under fire from some Norwegian guy and his crazy tank's machine guns. "Oh yeah, take the hippie! I'm sure that's going to be so challenging for you." He then shoots awesome zappy lasers at Lars' tank.

Combat: Whirl strikes Centurion II MBW with his Pew pew (Laser) attack!

Groove trips and falls over a lava rock he didn't see due to waving and faceplants. The upside: Backfire's rain of deathfire completely misses him. He pulls himself off the ground. "This place kind of looks like Charr...so I guess he's kind of got a homefield advantage?" Groove shrugs. "Home is where you hide your bong, I guess...So that makes Lars' tank home for now!" He returns fire, with stand laser attacks!

Combat: Groove strikes Backfire with his Laser attack!

Centurion II MBW turns to angle its heavy prow armor to give Whirl a harder shot, since his initial laser barrage cut nasty-looking molten grooves across the turret glacis, and returns fire with its side-mounted chaingun as it maneuvers for advantage!

Combat: Centurion II MBW sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Centurion II MBW strikes Whirl with his Defensive Burst attack! [Pulled -3]

"I'm a WRECKER, the HIPPIES go against everything we believe in!!" Backwhirl shoots back at Whirlfire, before getting a laser to the face. Stammering, mid air mind you, the horrible mish mash of simpleton and cosplay gives the propellor a flick with his pincher and dives down at the Protectobot.

"Now stand still you dirty hipster, less my much more effective partner BACKFIRE dismantle you!" Backwhirl shouts, diving towards Groove and unleashing a couple shots of his trusty Hypno-Ray Rifle. "Prepare to be DAZZLED by my spinny propellor HAT.. and matching ray gun!!"

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Backfire misses Groove with his Hypno-Ray Rifle attack! [Pulled -1]

Whirl has no problem getting shot up, but when a few bullets pierce through his lovingly crafted seeker wings.. that's just too much, man. "Hey! Do you know how long it took for me to make those? Not very long, but still!" He then remembers he's supposed to be in character and he coughs. "I mean, blaarg my delicate seeker wings are so sensitive! I'm so dumb for having them!" He fires off another volley of shots, this time from cool photon cannon.

Combat: Whirl sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Whirl misses Centurion II MBW with his Photon Beam attack! [Pulled -1]

Groove does an amazing roll forward to avoid Backfire's counterattack. "Winner gets your fake wings, right?" He changes the settings on his photon gun. "Too bad neither of you are gonna be able to..." He pauses. "What?" Blam.

Combat: Groove strikes Whirl with his Double Blind! Area attack!

Combat: Groove (Groove) used "Photon Pistol": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: That attack has temporarily limited Whirl's Accuracy! (Blinded)

Combat: Groove misses Backfire with his Double Blind! Area attack!

Lars allows himself a restrained smile at Whirl's abuse of seekers in general and Backfire in particular as he brings up his binoculars and checks on Groove. He doesn't know either Autobot very well, but he still prefers them to the Decepticons. He ducks back down and instructs the radioman to target Groove and deploy the shields. On the hull of the battle walker, a quartet of small hatches clang open and rapidly-spinning cylinders rise out of them, lightning crackling between them as the system powers up and extends its protection to the relatively fragile Protectobot!

Combat: Centurion II MBW creates a forcefield shielding Groove from damage.

"Ahaha, you missed me because.. oh wait." Backwhirl starts to verbally chastise Groove for his suckage, but then he remembered he's supposed to stay in character as to 'throw off' their opponents. "I mean, did you close an optic? It's like you lost depth perception there, and I mean.. hey I know what that's like." the Seeker bites out, trying to replicate Whirl's friendly tone.

Landing to the ground with a THUD, Backwhirl stops the whirling hat propellor and stomps over towards Groove. In his palms, the toxic energon is building up. "Here, maybe some WRECKER MEDICINE WILL HELP!" he shouts, shooting out globs towards them both.

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Backfire misses Groove with his Not Really Meds Area attack!

Combat: Backfire strikes Centurion II MBW with his Not Really Meds Area attack!

Whirl gets nailed by Groove's photon pistol and stumbles backwards. He takes a moment to readjust his cardboard eyeball (the tape is some generic brand so it doesn't stick that well.) "Hey, you can't do that!" he shouts once the Centurion powers up the forcefield and shields Groove from the brutal pounding he so deserves. "Wait, can they?" Whirl, er, Backfire? Whirlfire? Whatever you want to call him, walks over to where Torque is judging and waves frantically at her with his pincher hand and the cardboard fingers his glued to it. "Torque, my love! It is I, BACKFIRE! Why don't you and your beautiful hands run away with me and leave all this behind? You can watch me make a complete ass out of myself every day if you do!"

Combat: Whirl takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Actually, Backfire doesn't miss. Backfire dumps spiked energon all over Groove, but let's be serious: it's not baby's first rodeo. "That's got a little kick to it, nice job Whirlfire." He phases a...well, a bong out of subspace. "You into this? Normally I'd ask to see your prescription card, but it's the Olympics, so I think the truce nullifies them."

Combat: Groove takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Some slightly-agitated Norwegian can be heard inside the Centurion as the gunner complains about something in the goo messing with the LIDAR readings. Lars advises him helpfully to fire smoke and reboot the LIDAR. With a resounding *poomp* a smoke canister pops out of the tank's smoke grenade launchers and drifts across the battlefield, hopefully obscuring the opponents' views!

Combat: Centurion II MBW sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Centurion II MBW's Smoke Grenades attack on Whirl goes wild!

Combat: Centurion II MBW misses himself with his Smoke Grenades Area attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW's Smoke Grenades attack on Backfire goes wild!

Combat: Centurion II MBW strikes himself with his Smoke Grenades Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Centurion II MBW's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Centurion II MBW ends up just covering itself in smoke, though!

Torque keeps her optics trained on the fight while standing off aside at the outer edge of the volcano, making sure things stay in order. Well, as much order as a no holds barred match even has. Gaze flicks to Whirl when he approaches her though, raising a brow at him while he gives his Backfire spiel. "..Riiight. I'd have to be crazier than you, Whirl, to agree to that." One hand motions him back to the battlefield, "Now back to fighting! These people wanna see some good old fashioned, helicopter insanity!"

"PRESCRIPTION CARD?" Whirlfire/Backwhirl/whatev rages, flailing his arms around like a dope. "I don't need no STINKIN' card!" Finally relaxing, the Seeker looks over at the smoke covered tank. "Uhh, Groove.. did you umm, give your partner some of your stash?"

With a flick of the propellor hat, the Wrecker wannabe is once again in the air. "Looks like you need a MATCH!" he laughs, rocket launcher being slung over his shoulder. "Oh, here.. I've got one." he giggles, sending off a rocket from the tube.

"Wait, doesn't that mustache'd Cross dude give you guys pee tests?"

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Backfire strikes Centurion II MBW with his Rock-It Lawn-Chair tm attack!

Whirl turns his attention back to the battle just in time to see the Centurion fire and braces himself for the worst. Fortunately, all that happens is Lars smoking himself out in a fantastic display of failure. Better luck next time.

With Backfire now on the tank and it's crew, Whirl turns his attention to Groove and his sweet bong. "Groove, how come you never let me in on your smoke sessions? Is it because I don't have a mouth? That's racist, I think!" Suddenly he remembers he's supposed to be in character. "Forget I said that. What I meant to say was, I'm Backfire and I'm so crazy! Recreational drugs are bad, mmkay?!" Whirl then transforms into his sweet helicopter mode (pretend it's a jet or something) and opens fire on the Protectobot.

Whirl transforms into a helicopter. So cool!

Combat: Bell AH-1 Cobra  strikes Groove with his Kapew pew (Laser) attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW's forcefield absorbs Bell AH-1 Cobra 's attack.

Lars holds tight to a siderail as Backfire fires a rocket into the smoke, the explosion rocking the tank with a muffled bang. He instructs the driver to take it further into the smoke for protection, while the gunner fires the chaingun back along the projected path of the rocket!

Combat: Centurion II MBW sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Centurion II MBW misses Backfire with his Bushmaster IV Chain Gun attack! [Pulled -3]

"Huh? No, actually...I didn't end up sharing with him because Torque hit me up before the fight... Hey?" Groove watches Backfire fly off. "I guess we're trading." He considers the bong for a moment before phasing it out with a sigh. "Business first. And then business. Hi Whirl!" He transforms, motorcycling torwards the Seeker disguised Autobot. "You guys are super good at these voices, you know? I'm really getting into it, BACKFIRE. Right?" He tries to zig and zag in and out of Whirl's strafing to no avail: he hits the brakes and spins around, a massive cloud of death smoke puffing around the Wrecker!

Groove transforms into his police motorcycle mode. Changes his whole perspective, man.

Combat: BMW R1200RT-P Police Motorcycle  strikes Bell AH-1 Cobra  with his Twin Vaporators attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Bell AH-1 Cobra 's Agility. (Crippled)

Touching down to the ground, Backwhirl twirls around like a ballerina on crack to avoid the incoming chaingun fire the Norwegian crew aimed his way. "Wait, isn't that cheating? There's like seven dudes in that sardine can, which is kinda gross on its own accord and all. Like, are they sweating all over eachother?" he comments, firing off some lame Seeker arm-lasers.

"I mean, Torque.. you should give my buddy here BACKFIRE some play. I heard from someone who heard from someone that he's like really nice and stuff."

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Backfire misses Centurion II MBW with his Pew pew (Pistol) attack!

"Uuuugh, smoke! One of my many, many weaknessess!" 'Backfire' who, for some inexplicable reason is a helicopter instead of a jet, hollers as the smoke engulfs him. He shifts back into his robot mode minus those goofy cardboard wings of his since the transformation process ending up destroying them. He should really take that into account next time he cosplays a seeker.

"Don't listen to him, Torque! My buddy Whirl is sooo much cooler, you should totally do freaky stuff with him and leave me to stew in my own awfulness!" Whirl, I mean, Backfire then leaps for the Protectobot, trying to jump up onto the seat and slam his robot butt down on it with all his strength. "Woo! Let's ride!"

Whirl transforms into a crazy robot. Wreck and Rule!

Combat: Whirl misses BMW R1200RT-P Police Motorcycle  with his Ride It (Smash) attack!

Lars doesn't answer Backwhirl, partly because he doesn't really have a way to, and partly because he's too busy commanding the tank to come about, target the helicopter that's been giving Groove problems, lock down the gear and prepare the main gun. This is going to be like shooting an apple off someone's head. Hopefully not like when William Burroughs did it.

As it happens the Centurion's crew are Olympic-Committee-approved, mainly falling under the Headmaster clause. In fact the Olympic Committee also brought up Backfire's second concern, but Captain Daalgard assured them that like elephants, birds and gazelles, Norwegians are incapable of sweating.

Combat: Centurion II MBW sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Centurion II MBW strikes Whirl with his Rheinmetall 120mm Gun attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW's attack leaves him temporarily incapacitated!

BMW R1200RT-P Police Motorcycle  pulls forward like three feet and lets Whirl crash into the ground. And then he peels out, getting hella lava dirt all over Whirl. "All yours, Lars!" He revs off, heading back torwards the tank, transforming into robot mode, somersaulting forward, and opens fire on Backfire. "Hey Backfire!" He starts to say something, but just starts giggling about what he was going to say instead. "Ohhh man. Soo messed up."

Groove transforms into his robot mode. Righteous.

Combat: Groove sets his defense level to Fearless.

Torque clears her vocals in her fist a little at Groove's mention of her, looking off to one side a moment, trying to look innocent. Her? Buying product from him? Never! Well, at least she wouldn't admit it.

Either way, Backfire's comment has the femme sighing softly when he tries to validate himself, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose a moment. "I think he'd have to prove himself if I were to give him the /slightest/ of chances." And besides, he's still a Con! It wouldn't be worth it to risk her aft over a Decepticon, especially one like Backfire.

Whirl lands on his butt so hard the armor actually cracks a little. That's right, he broke his ass and if that wasn't bad enough, he also gets shot to hell courtesy of the Centurion's fancy gun. "Uuugh! Bullets! Another weakness of mine! Have I mentioned that I have lots of weaknessess, because I do. Lots and lots of them! I'm so terrible."

Despite the damage suffered from the 120mm rounds shot through him, Whirl transforms into his not-a-helicopter-really-guys mode and takes to the sky before launching a shell Lars' way.

Whirl transforms into a helicopter. So cool!

Combat: Bell AH-1 Cobra  strikes Centurion II MBW with his Incendiary Shell attack!

Groove stares at Backwhirlfire for a minute. "I...ok, this is really starting to throw me off. Like that nightmare I had about the purple and green Megatron." He sighs, and hits motorcycle mode again. "Now I can't quit thinking about purple and green Megatron...just...wrong, you know?" And that's when the SMOKE happens, baybay!

Groove transforms into his police motorcycle mode. Changes his whole perspective, man.

Combat: BMW R1200RT-P Police Motorcycle  strikes F-16C Agile Falcon  with his nice dreamz attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired F-16C Agile Falcon 's Agility. (Crippled)

Warning alarms go off in the battle walker as rockets and shells streak in and slam into its hull with blooming fireballs, but the commander remains cool as a fjord. He instructs the loader to load the main gun with a submunition canister, while the gunner switches to the chaingun to keep up the fire against the attack copter!

Combat: Centurion II MBW strikes Bell AH-1 Cobra  with his Bushmaster IV Chain Gun attack!

As the laserfire rakes up his undercarriage, Backwhirl transforms and hits the ground with a large THUD. "No, that wasn't Megatron.. that was Marauder. He's the green and purple Megatron wannabe dude, or something. I mean.. uhh." he lapses character, before getting his wits about him right quick.

"I mean, bleep blorp I am a Wrecker and I know not about these Decepticon matters at all!"

The F-16C Agile Falcon transforms with that ever-familiar sound to reveal.. BACKFIRE!!

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Backfire takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

The Centurion's shots pepper across Whirl's chassis, causing it to spark and smoke almost over dramatically if that's possible. The helicopter touches down on the volcanic surface and transforms, the costumed Whirl now in it's place. "Duurrr, I'm a seeker. I have stupid arm lasers. They're soooo lame, I wish I had something cool like Whirl's PARALYZO BOX. It's so awesome, I'm so jealous of it." Whirl shoots sick energy beams at both Groove and the Centurion with aforemention paralyzo box. "See what I mean!?"

Whirl transforms into a crazy robot. Wreck and Rule!

Combat: Whirl sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Whirl strikes Centurion II MBW with his So Coooooool Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Centurion II MBW's Agility. (Crippled)

Combat: Whirl strikes BMW R1200RT-P Police Motorcycle  with his So Coooooool Area attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW's forcefield absorbs Whirl's attack.

"ARE NOT!" Backwhirl shouts about the arm lasers.

BMW R1200RT-P Police Motorcycle  shrieks because he's about to get hit with a paralyzo-box. And then his forcefield absorbs the attack. "Ohh man, I toootally forgot about that! LArs, remember when you did this? Because look!" He shakes his head in disbelief. "Man, no one's hit me in so long I forgot about it! Crazy, right? Forcefields. Are they really that forceful? Because it's kind of nice. NICEfield. Anyway..." He shoots at Whirl's face with a gun.

Groove transforms into his robot mode. Righteous.

Combat: Groove strikes himself with his Foot-Guns-A-Blazin (Full-Auto) attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW's forcefield absorbs Groove's attack.

With some agitation the driver of the Centurion warns Lars that there's something slowing... perhaps even paralyzo-ing... the walking gear! Lars responds by reassuring him that they don't need to walk if they can shoot down the enemy where they are, and delivers a quote about bunkers. The loader reports the main gun loaded, and Lars gives the order.

The turret of the Centurion swings slowly away from Whirl to aim its cannon at Backfire, and with a resounding boom fires a canister of steel pellets which fill the air with humming anti-personnel shot!

Combat: Centurion II MBW misses Backfire with his Rheinmetall 120mm Gun attack!

Whirl just stares at Groove as he goes on about not getting shot and then shoots himself in the face. "Wow Groove, that was...that was pretty cool." He gives the Protectobot a respectful nod. "I can respect a robot willing to shoot himself for the sake of entertainment, you are officially a cool dude in my book."

He then jumps right back into his terrible Backfire persona and walks around yelling about pinnacles and fools and what-have-you. "PRIMUS, I suck! Maybe I should just take myself behind the chemical sheds and end it."

Combat: Whirl takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Backfire kinda just stands there, a bit impatient as Groove just goes ON and ON about really dumb stuff. Apparently the kettle has called out the pot for being black, haha get it? Because Groove is high, he's the.. nevermind.

Another flick of his fake pinchers, and the fake Wrecker rises up into the air.. because that's totally how Whirl flies in robot mode, right? Right. Bringing both of the arms forward, the Seeker flails them around while he spews out some banter.. a faint green light emitting from them.

"Listen well, folks. I really gotta say, my partner here the Seeker BACKFIRE is a swell dude. I mean, he's just sooooo useful. Totally dateable too, if there are ANY femmebots in attendance.. ANY AT ALL!!"

Toxic energon is emitted from the palms, shooting right for their opponents.

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Backfire strikes Centurion II MBW with his Seeker Discharge Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Centurion II MBW's Agility. (Crippled)

Combat: Backfire strikes Groove with his Seeker Discharge Area attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW's forcefield absorbs Backfire's attack.

A little fire breaks out in the tank's crew compartment, but the radioman is on it in a flash as everyone puts on rebreather masks and goggles while the positive pressure cycles. The tank is really taking a beating though; something's got to fail sooner or later!

Combat: Centurion II MBW takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Groove stares at his gun, frustrated. "Man, what's going on with that?" Backfire opens fire, and the forcefield absorbs it. He doesn't notice, tinkering with his gun. "Ok, super weird. Oh, well." He phases the gun away. "Lars, you mind if I use yours?" He hops on the back of the tank and cranks up the chain gun. "Teamwork!"

Combat: Groove strikes Backfire with Centurion II MBW's say ello to my friend's little friend that he let me borrow for a minute! attack!

Peppered with laserfire, Backfire falls to the ground and squirms. "No, my.. best is not enough. Save me Backfire, kill that smelly tank thing.. KILL IT WITH FIRE!" he hams it up for the cameras, before getting to his feet and firing off a shot at the Protectobot manning the human's guns.

"Oh come on, first you hide behind a forcefield.. now you're firing his guns? I knew you Protectobots were.. umm, I mean go teamwork because I am an Autobot!"

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Backfire misses Groove with his Pew pew (Pistol) attack!

"No, no, don't listen to that handsome Wrecker over there!" not-Whirl shouts. "I'm not dateable in the slightest, I have lots of emotional hang-ups and mental disorders. All you ladies should really give your numbers to Whirl instead, he's so great. I'd go as far as to say he's my hero!"

Despite making fun of Backfire so much, he actually takes his suggestion and tries to kill the smelly tank thing with fire by transforming into his not-helicopter form and shooting it with incendiary shells.

Whirl transforms into a helicopter. So cool!

Combat: Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl> strikes Centurion II MBW with his Kill it with fiiireee attack! [Pulled -3]

Centurion II MBW doesn't mind, because he's busy trying to keep the crab-tank going! Groove is welcome to use the pintle-mounted gun if he feels like climbing up there. It makes it easier to shield him with him closer to the projectors, too. With the fire out, Lars can see what he's doing, and what that is, is popping smoke in hopes of avoiding another shelling like that one! Now there's even more fire! At least most of it is on the tank instead of in it, but that's not much better because the engine seems to be overheating.

Combat: Centurion II MBW strikes Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl> with his Smoke Grenades attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl>'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

Groove jumps off of the tank, phasing in a working photon pistol! "Alright, let's try this a time that isn't at all like last time!" He opens fire on the Seeker, smiling at the amazing light show. "Lars man I think we've got this locked as long as no one gives me a sharpie!"

Combat: Groove strikes Backfire with his Photon Pistol attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily limited Backfire's Accuracy! (Blinded)

The shot flies true, impacting and hitting the glass optic and SHATTERS it. The cosplay item falls to the ground, showering the ground with jagged edged glass shards. Looking up, Backfire touches his metallic face.. crap. Thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink, your cover is almost blown!

Lightbulb.

"Oh my stars and garters, it's a MIRACLE! Who knew after ALL THIS TIME there were two perfectly good optics hiding underneath the crappy ONE optic I had? Now I look even more like my hero, Backfire!"

Before anyone can shush him, the Seeker is transforming and taking to the skies again.. targeting Lars and the tank crew. If only they could eliminate him from the match, that pesky forcefield would go away!

A shake, shudder, and shiver; and before your eyes BACKFIRE transforms into a F-16C Agile Falcon!

Combat: F-16C Agile Falcon <Backfire> sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: F-16C Agile Falcon <Backfire> misses Centurion II MBW with his Cover: INTACT! attack!

"Oh nooo, smoookkee! I'm so terrified! Smoke just happens to be one of my biggest fears second only to someone finding my secret stash of erotic Galvatron fanfiction." Whirl lifts higher into the air to escape the cloud of smoke but there's just so much of it! He can't really see anything but he takes the shot anyway.

Combat: Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl> strikes Groove with his Pewpewpew (Laser) attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW's forcefield absorbs Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl>'s attack.

Groove sighs as he gets not actually lasered. "Man... It's like I'm living in another skin. Maybe it's a totally different person!" His optics go wide. "Who...who am I?" He phases in a mirror. "Who...are you?" Groove stares at the mirror, becoming completely oblivious to the world around him. "Are you...invisible? Or do you look like me but I'm really looking at...you?" Whoah.

Combat: Groove takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

The battle walker's forcefield surrounding Groove flickers and warbles briefly, guttering like a lawnmower trying to work its way through too much leaf mulch, and Lars orders more smoke! If Groove goes down this could go south quickly! On the other hand the tank's taking a beating too. Maybe the smoke will help with that as well.

Combat: Centurion II MBW misses F-16C Agile Falcon <Backfire> with his 4:20 smoke grenades erry day Area attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW strikes Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl> with his 4:20 smoke grenades erry day Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl>'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

Transforming and dropping down from the skies, Backwhirl dodges the smoke canister launched his way and tries to drop down on top of the Protectobot. "Hey, a mirror.. can I see? I want to see how much better my new TWO optics are than my former ONE!!" he laughs, some laser shots lancing out from his arm-things before he even gets close.

The F-16C Agile Falcon transforms with that ever-familiar sound to reveal.. BACKFIRE!!

Combat: Backfire strikes Groove with his Sham-Wow! (Pistol) attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW's forcefield protecting Groove vanishes.

There's so much smoke, it's like 4/20 out here. Whirl lifts even higher into the air in an attempt to escape it but there's just soooo much. "Oh Primus, so much smoke! I think I'm going to cry like that time Cyclonus rejected my marriage proposal!" His targeting systems are still wonky from the smoke so he just shoots in the Centurion's general direction.

Combat: Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl> strikes Centurion II MBW with his Photon Beam attack!

With a pop the sensor screens in the Centurion go dark! The gunner starts working on them, but in the meantime Lars straps his helmet on and opens up the hatch to take manual control of the chaingun. The tank may be immobilized and largely malfunctioning, but at least this gun still works! As well as any chainguns work, at least- they tend to jam a lot.

In fact, it's jammed right now. Oops. Lars takes a minute to clear the feed and re-thread the belt.

Combat: Centurion II MBW takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

"Huh?" The forcefield vanishes. "And just like that, he was gone." Groove sighs. "And so are the days of our lives." He nods to himself, having said something crazy deep, and then looks up. "A Seeker?! Oh man, it's Backfire! Autobots! Tank! Evasive manuevers!" He does a cartwheel and then starts shooting his laser pistol.

Combat: Groove strikes Backfire with his Pistol attack!

The laser shot digs deep into his REAL Seeker wing, Backfire squirms a bit as he frantically digs at the wound. It doesn't help when you've got ski-feet to try and stablize with.

How does Whirl do it?

Shrieking, the Seeker comes up to hover above Lars.. after flicking his propellor hat of course. HOW ELSE WOULD WHIRL FLY IN ROBOT MODE?? "Hello friendly human, it is I.. WHIRL! Don't worry, I will save you from that gold medal.. I know all you norwegians are allergic to it. Does silver work out for you?" he muses, before firing off a shot.

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Backfire strikes Centurion II MBW with his Pew From Above! (Pistol) attack!

With all the smoke now cleared out, the helicopter touches down carefully on the edge of the volcano they decided to fight on for some reason and transforms. "No, Groove. /I'm/ Backfire. I know you're stoned but it's pretty obvious seeing as how ridiculous I look. See, I even have arm lasers!" He shoots at Groove with his arm lasers except they're not arm lasers at all, just regular ones.

Whirl transforms into a crazy robot. Wreck and Rule!

Combat: Whirl misses Groove with his Pretend They're Arm Lasers attack!

"Evasives maneuvers are not so possible rights now," Lars calls down over the thudding bang of the chaingun returning fire as Backfire pecks away with his sidearm, little laser shots pinging into the tank's thick armor.

Combat: Centurion II MBW misses Backfire with his Bushmaster IV Chain Gun attack! [Pulled -3]

Groove stares at Whirl, confused. "Wait, what? Whirl, why are you shooting at me? Our match was like six weeks ago." His optics go wide. "Unless..." He turns and looks at Lars' tank as Whirl's terribly aimed laser fire pings harmlessly around him. "Was that a...time bubble?" He stands, shocked, jaw dropped. In fact, he's so shocked that he drops his photon gun and it goes off in Whirl's direction.

Combat: Groove misses Whirl with his Photon Pistol attack!

Whirl makes a mental note to talk to Groove about getting the hook up because come on, that's gotta be some good stuff. "Uh, yes! That's exactly what it was, a time bubble. What was the future like, Groove?" After narrowly avoiding getting shot with the dropped photon pistol, he lifts a leg and tries to stomp a ski foot on the Protectobot's chest.

Combat: Whirl strikes Groove with his Ski to the Chest (Kick) attack!

Growing irritated with the length of this proceeding, Backfire sticks to hovering above the tank and grabs the launcher from subspace again. "Geez, you guys sure are something.. pretty resistant, say why don't you apply some of that to me? I mean, I'm a Wrecker and all.. but I'm not HALF as tough as my partner over there." he points at Whirlfire.

"But then again, I am like the crappiest Wrecker.. next to my siamese buddy. But he's TWICE the bot I'll ever be." Backfire continues to droll on, firing off another shot.. tossing it to the side afterwards.

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Backfire strikes Centurion II MBW with his EMPTY.. NO MORE! attack!

"I mean, the future was a lot like the present, just...Further forward. You know?" Whirl kicks Groove in the chest. Groove goes down, and lands on his gun. He reaches back and picks it up, astonished. "Man. Exactly where I dropped it, 6 weeks ago! It's like a really, really short term time capsule!" He sighs. "I wonder what it could tell us if it could talk..." He shrugs. "Probably just like 'hi, I'm a Targetmaster' or something." he pauses, staring at his gun for a moment, giving it a chance to speak. "Oh, well." And then he springs up, swinging at Whirl's chin with a gun handle assisted uppercut!

Combat: Groove misses Whirl with his Punch attack!

"Nooooo," Lars replies, glancing down at Groove skeptically while he swings the gun around on its pintle-mount and tries to shoot down the thing that keeps shooting rockets at him. The gunner yells up something about the oil pressure, but Lars just tells him to hunker down and do what he can.

Combat: Centurion II MBW misses Backfire with his Bushmaster IV Chain Gun attack!

If it could talk," Whirl begins, leaning away from Groove's pistol whipping. "..it wouldn't say that. It would say something like 'GREETINGS FROM THE FUTURE.' Or 'SMOKE MORE SPACE WEED, GROOVE.' You know, things like that. Does your photon pistol even know what a Targetmaster is?" Apparently this conversation is over because Whirl just transforms into his helicopter mode and flies high into the air before raining down a hail of laserfire on both the crab tank and the loveable stoner.

Whirl transforms into a helicopter. So cool!

Combat: Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl> strikes Centurion II MBW with his Lots of lasers and such (Full-Auto) Area attack!

Combat: Centurion II MBW falls to the ground, unconscious.

Combat: Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl> strikes Groove with his Lots of lasers and such (Full-Auto) Area attack!

With his ammunition depleted, Backfire drifts to the ground and kinda studder steps around. Lars and company attempt to fire back at him, but the Seeker has already made his way up to Torque.

"Hey Torque, I am Whirl.. we are friends." he says awkwardly, adding "I also transform into a helicopter. Budda budda budda budda!" he attempts to make a helicopter noise, it sounds really stupid. "Say, have you met my partner for this match.. Backfire? He's really something, eh? I mean, I'm not into dudes or anything.. or maybe I am, I'm all crazy and stuff.. I dunno." he blurts out, leaning in.

"Anyways, he gets my motors running.. if you know what I mean."

Combat: Backfire takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Centurion II MBW's gun finally stops running. Chainguns, unlike other belt-fed machineguns, are run by a motor via a chain drive (hence the name), and when the tank's diesel loses oil pressure and shuts down, the gun stops working too. He ducks down into it and comes back shortly with a white flag to wave as he guides his crew to safety in the service pit.

Groove Stares over at the tank, and then back at Whirl. And then he spots the white flag. And then he looks at the ground. "WHEN ARE WE?!" He sighs. "Man...I yield until I can wrap my head around this...Can someone call First Aid?"

Lars dismounts from his Centurion.

Lars Daalgard comes over to Groove and pats him on the leg reassuringly. "It is twenties thirty-threes, Groove. It's all overs for now."

Groove looks down at Lars. "Hey man, we'll get them next year, right? Which I think is three months ago. Am I doing my math right?" He grins, and winks. "Hell, I'm just kidding. Numbers aren't real. Not unless we write them!" He laughs like he's ended an episode of Saved by the Bell.

Bell AH-1 Cobra <Whirl> transforms in mid-air and drops onto the volcanic surace in robot mode all badass and cool-like. "Okay, since this is pretty much over and we won, I think it's time I be honest with you, Groove. You see, I'm not really Backfire.." He rips off his cardboard optic. "It's me! It was me the whole time! Surprised? I know I am."

Whirl transforms into a crazy robot. Wreck and Rule!

Backfire's sudden appearance beside her has Torque leaning away just a little, mouth pressing into a thin line as a hand reaches out to rest on his shoulder and lightly push him out of her personal bubble. "Look.. Backfire. I'm sure you're a nice guy... sort of.. I guess. But can we talk about this after the match?"

However the match apparently does seem to end just like that, Torque springing back into action and bringing her mic up. "Oh, too bad folks! It seems Lars is out of the game, but he certainly put up a great fight!" Torque announces when she watches the tank finally break down and the crew retreat to the safe zone. "And Groove appears to be officially forfeiting the match now that his partner is down. So that means Backfire and Whirl win the match! Congratulations, you two, and thank you all for a wonderful fight!"

A momentary pause.

"Okay, match over. You wanted to talk?" Backfire asks.

"Don't be fooled by his clever disguise, Torque! That's actually Backfire, you know," Whirl hollers just in case Torque didn't already know that.