Parallax

Orion Nebula

The thing that makes this nebula different from all others is the constant, speeding rotation and revolution performed by the individual clouds and pools. Debris buzzes about with a purpose, moving from corner to corner, trailing dust and gaseous tails. Tiny explosions send sparkling clouds in all directions. Just like any other nebula, sensors are useless here. Quiet disorientation sets in and a sense of claustrophobia quickly follows.

Contents:

Excise

Smokescreen

Red Alert

Parallax

Obvious exits: Above Plane &lt;AP&gt; leads to Deep Space - Galactic Plane. Spinward &lt;S&gt; leads to Deep Space - Subplanar. Driftward &lt;D&gt; leads to Deep Space - Subplanar. Coreward &lt;C&gt; leads to Deep Space - Subplanar.

Parallax

Parallax is a warm, jungle-like planet with lush, verdant growth. The most remarkable feature, from space, is a vast citadel nestled atop the tallest mountain of a sprawling mountain range.

Excise

A colour scheme of dull orange and dark grey, Excise is a mech made up of harsh angles. While some mechs have box-like arms and legs, this Decepticon is designed to be aerodynamic, even in robot mode. Although bearing similarities with a Seeker in terms of size, weight, and general shape, it is clear Excise is not one of them. No wings grace his back, though several sharp orange instruments rest at his waist-level, suggesting they transformed from wings. Are they swords? Daggers? Something else? It's tough to tell unless Excise draws them out, but it's clear there's a lot of them. Excise's head is dark grey with classic red Decepticon optics that keep darting back and forth. He's usually smiling, though it's a cruel sneering sort rather than cheerful and kind. Set against a grey plate in the centre of his chest is a bright purple Decepticon insignia.

You descend toward the Citadel.

Central Courtyard - Parallax

A non-stop place of bustling activity, the alien inhabitants of Parallax constantly push through the courtyard bartering, selling, washing, talking, and generally partaking in all manner of activities. The stonework is white, clean and elegant, pillars outlining the edge with stairways leading up and down. In the centre is a huge fountain, which sparkles with crystal-clear water.

Obvious exits: Up &lt;U&gt; leads to Orion Nebula.

East Staircase &lt;E&gt; West Staircase &lt;W&gt;  North Staircase &lt;N&gt;

Red Alert has arrived.

Smokescreen has arrived.

Excise has arrived.

Catechism looks around the central courtyard as large gecko-people by her, quite unconquered about the armed Decepticon standing in their midst. They didn't even frisk her at customs. She rubs her hands together and says to whoever is accompanying her today, "This world is said to have an /excellent/ library, and as we all know, knowledge is power. We take what we want from there, and then we raze this citadel to the ground."

After a nice, dignified, and orderly touchdown apparently some Autobot vehicles felt that there was some excitement needed around this here planet. Therefore, with a loud honking of horn, Smokescreen roars down the rear ramp out of the Autobot shuttle and begins to blaze across the landscape toward the city in the distance at an unsafe but quite awesome speed. Several nearby gecko farmers watch him with mingled alarm, curiousity, and pitchfork waving irritation. "Hey, Red Alert, come on out! The ground is fine!"p ex=Yeah, assume you're with me. Mission: find the library. Look for valuables.

Fire Chief's Car is here with SMOKESCREEN. He's in vehicle mode to keep a low profile, and mostly trying to stay behind things, because otherwise he's only sneaky around people who don't look DOWN. However, Smokescreen... SMOKESCREEN of all people... completely ruins any attempts at stealth. "Smokescreen!" he hisses, rolling after. "What are you /doing/?! We're here to determine what the Decepticons are up, not create a scene! If you're trying to create a /diversion/, that's fine, but in that case, don't draw attention to me!"

Excise is standing around near Catechism, looking at all the gecko people with a suspicious optic. His dull orange and grey colour scheme clashes with he green gecko people. "I don't like this, boss," he mutters, getting a shifty look on his face. "If knowledge is power and these green freaks have a big library, then doesn't that mean they're really powerful? Maybe we should just go raze planet Klo again." Good times, razing planet Klo. Let me tell you, that was one plum of an assignment.

Smokescreen utterly refuses to obey the law, in this case represented by Red Alert, as he bounces onto the main road and begins to head toward the nearby city. "I'm just doing what I'm doing best, pal! If you're worried about the attention just stay behind me: the dust cloud I'm putting up'll mean you could have a Decepticon sitting on you and they wouldn't notice!"

Catechism sighs and explains, "Knowledge is power if you know how to use it. It's like... a river isn't power until you dam it and put a hydro plant in. Y'know? I mean, look at these guys. All happy and peaceful. They don't know what they have." She looks at the three staircases, trying to decide.

Excise nods slowly, "Yes ma'am. I understand 100%." The Decepticon gazes out at the gecko people again. "They -are- pretty pathetic, aren't they? Big, slow... I don't even see any weapons around here. Heh, hey, do you think they'd even notice if I went over and smacked one of them around?" he flashes a wicked grin. Not being the most observant of bots, he seems more focused on tormenting the geckos than on paying attention, and the speedy Smokescreen off in the distance doesn't catch his notice.

"Well, /I/ certainly would," Red Alert mutters, but he does fall back. Even so, he's not much later than Smokescreen pulling into the city, and it's on one of his periodic radar sweeps that he picks up the Decepticons. He switches to radio, and calls out to Smokescreen, "Decepticons spotted. Two, not sure who yet."

Smokescreen passes through the gates of the city before rolling to a slow halt, engine idling, as Red Alert's radio transmission reaches him. He remains stationary for a few moments, flashing his headlights once or twice in a thoughtful way, before he rolls forward more slowly along the broad city street. "Let me know if they start moving anywhere, Red...I'm gonna get as close as I can and think up an idea to get 'em outta there."

Catechism has an Excise to wrangle, which limits her powers of observation. She urges, "C'mon, we need to find the library first. /Then/ we can beat up the locals. We don't want to attract attention too quickly, y'know?" She eenie-meenie-minie-moes the staircases and asks, idly, "Hey, you got any fancy sensors to pick the best staircase?"

Fire Chief's Car returns to robot mode and crouches. Radar's well and good, but sometimes you want to overhear your opponent. "Not yet," he murmurs. "Catechism identified. I don't recognize the other one."

"Ah," Excise hesitates. "Yes ma'am, I sure do." The Decepticon gazes at the trio of staircases, squinting at each one in turn. "My enhanced knowledge sensors indicate that knowledge readings is coming most heavily from... the middle one." He points at the middle one just in case Catechism is unable to tell which one that is. Unaware that he's being spied upon by Smokescreen and Red Alert, Excise idly scratches himself in an embarassing place.

Red Alert frowns, and for any watching him, the 'horns' on his head light up briefly. "There's something strange about this place," he tells Smokescreen, tone slightly alarmed. "It seems to be befuddling my sensor array." And we all know how Red Alert /hates/ to have his array befuddled. "Be on the look out for more Decepticons! It's probably a trap."

Smokescreen continues his slow easy roll toward the library, hanging a right as he reaches the block where the building squats further down, before stopping near the curb in a classic stakeout position. "Hmm...must be trying to dig up whatever's in there. Let me know when they get outta site of the entryway and I'll go inside. I'm sure I can cook up a surprise or two for 'em while I'm in there."

Red Alert is more right that he will ever know.

Catechism squints at Excise. Knowledge sensors, huh? She really needs to track down a copy of his last commander's report on him. She shrugs and agrees, "Okay, middle staircase! Let's go!" Pushing through the hustle and bustle of the crowds, she confidently heads for the middle staircase.

Sinnertwin has arrived.

Excise gives Catechism a thumbs up before activating his staircase ascension thrusters, which is to say he begins running after Catechism. Unlike her, however, the triplechanger seems to go out of his way to push over citizens that were only marginally in the way. In one instance he stops, turns around, and shoves a gecko who had managed to get out of the way the first time around.

"They're headed for the middle staircase, Smokescreen," Red Alert tells the other Autobot. "I'd... better follow them, I can'e be sure of being able to find them later." He starts heading in that way as well, trying his non-stealthy best to be sneaky.

School - Parallax

Bright and eager young natives attend school here, in classrooms with blackboards and cramped wooden desks. They learn how gravity functions relative to whatever surface they happen to be standing upon, and how, when their ancient ancestors were first crawling out of the primordial ooze, the city of Parallax already existed. Of late, the controversy that the city might have been built has been introduced into some radical classrooms, but no one takes it very seriously.

Obvious exits:

Door &lt;D&gt;

Red Alert has arrived.

Smokescreen has arrived.

Excise has arrived.

Catechism looks around, frowning, at the building she has entered. It is a place of learning, to be sure, but it's not the library. She overhears a snippet of conversation from a classroom, "But teacher, mustn't the city have been built somehow?" A stern voice chastises, "Would you say that the mountains were built? To say that the citadel was built is foolish." Sidling along the hallways of the school, Catechism mutters, "Weird," looking for an exit.

"By Primus I swear I just saw a waterfall that was zigzagging through a track and field event!" Excise shouts. He's now in his Cybertronian jet mode. How did he even get into his jet mode? The last thing he recalls, he was in robot mode when he went up after Catechism, then something something something... something about a river and a courtyard, and then now he's here. Now he's flying up high over the school, and only now does he spy Catechism again. &lt;&lt;Excise here, I've found you again! How did you manage to wander off away from me like that, boss?&gt;&gt;

Red Alert follows Catechism up the stairs. He could have /sworn/ he followed her up the stairs! He shakes his head, and his 'horns' flicker rather more often. &lt;&lt;Smokescreen?&gt;&gt; he calls over the radio. &lt;&lt;Smokescreen! Where are you?! My sensors seem to be entirely offline now!&gt;&gt; Just as he's panicing, however, he overhears the Decepticons, and tries to duck around a corner before spotted.

Catechism radios up to Excise, waving her arms, &lt;&lt;All I did was take the middle staircase! Didn't you?&gt;&gt; Huh, so he is a jet. That's interesting. It's a little hard to tell, looking at him. She has not yet noticed the sneaky, sneaky Autobots. The ex-Seeker continues to look for some way out of the school. Is that a door over there?

Smokescreen seems to have been heading in every direction but the one he intended to get to, much like the person in the well known many doors sight gag, but finally ends up at an antechamber. Pausing to let his joint mechanisms cool off he looks up just in time to see Red Alert dart around the corner into the room. He leaps aside just in time to avoid being knocked down before pressing his back against the world and glancing over sharply at the other while speaking in whisper. "What is this place, Red? Are we in a fun house?"

"Well, /I'm/ not having fun, are you?" Red Alert demands of Smokescreen, tone a bit huffy. He shakes his head, a little worried. "Several of my sensors have gone entirely offline. Even radio access seems iffy." Of course, that's because the room is OOC, but hey, it works.

&lt;&lt;Yes! I was right behind you, boss. I swear!&gt;&gt; Excise replies. The last thing he recalls he had turned around to shove a gecko to the ground, but when he looked back, Catechism was gone. He figured the boss was just a short distance up, but even though he was sure he could catch up, Excise didn't manage to locate the Aerospace CO until now. &lt;&lt;Stay where you are. I'm coming back down.&gt;&gt;

The warrior barrel rolls several times in mid-air before diving down to the ground. With fairly expert skill, he transforms back into robot mode and touches down, running into the school where he saw Catechism's transponder signal. He gives a little bow before Catechism before saying, "Hey, maybe the library is in there." he points at the door. "This seems to be a school, and schools have libraries, right? QED."

More than meets the eye! Excise transforms into his powerful robot mode.

Smokescreen grins at Red Alert before he slides cautiously across to the other side of the room before peeking out to see if he can spot any Decepticons in the distance. "Challenges are always fun, Red...that's what they're there for, right?" Not seeing anyone immediately he slides back into cover and looks over at Red. "I don't see anyone out there...what sensors do you have right now, Red?"

Catechism is in a school, to all appearances. As school wherein she keeps hearing stuff about how the citadel has always been. She hears another fragment of a lecture, "In conclusion, orderly systems, such as the citadel, can arise naturally, thereby disproving any foolish notions of entropy." Catechism pays these lessons no mind as she nears the door, but she pauses, as Excise asks her to stay put.

Sinnertwin has arrived.

"Well, the problem is, nothing seems to work outside this school," Red Alert mutters as he creeps towards the edge, to watch the Decepticons studying the door. "It's as if... as if this place is its own, well, everything." He sniffs nervously at the air, then shakes his head. "School of some sort, but some of the lessons have sounded pretty strange."

Everyone! Hold on to your butts, because Sinnertwin has just entered the building! Well, he's been running around here for what feels like forever, but he's in a room with other people now! Can you FEEL the excitement!!?? "I JUST SAW THE HUGEST BUTTERFLY."

Excise has caught back up with Catechism, and after the required bow to a superior officer, he says, "I hate to say it, boss, but I think you've led us right into a crazy place. I could have sworn I was following you accurately but then..." Excise shakes his head and rubs his forehead with a palm, "Argh, I don't like this planet, and frankly I don't think it could get any worse!" CUE SINNERTWIN. "Ma'am, I'm just going to shut up now."

Smokescreen looks around at the wall behind him as he hears Sinnertwin's shout reverberate through the halls, even blanketing the sounds of the noisiest student, before Smokescreen looks back at Red wit ha dubious look. "I think I just heard the janitor coming."

Catechism suggests, "There a door here. It's just a door. Can't go wrong with doors. Let's take it." She seems to be forgetting that her people invented the spacebridge. Then, Sinnertwin arrives and... what? She stares at Sinnertwin and asks, "Wait, what?" That doesn't sound like what Excise described!

"What's what?" Sinnertwin asks, moderately confused. He's always moderately confused though, so this isn't anything new. He points a finger to the door he just came from, "In there! There were butterflies! Lots of them! They were big, sir!"

Red Alert claps his hands over his audio sensors as Sinnertwin goes running /past/ him, shouting about butterflies. To Smokescreen, he hisses, "Well, what, do you suggest we just make a break for the door ourselves while they're not looking or something?" Then he blinks and studies Smokescreen. "Now, wait... can we?"

Apparently forgetting his own comment about shutting up, Excise turns and glowers at Sinnertwin, hands on his hips, "A huge butterfly? Are you sure your Terrorcon brain hasn't just been imagining things?" He's never actually met a Terrorcon, but he's heard stories. Mean stories. Still, Sinnertwin does seem pretty sure of himself... "Maybe we should go slice up the butterflies, ma'am. Just in case." Offering a wild grin, Excise reaches for his waist and draws out a pair of orange daggers.

Catechism considers Excise's dagger. Oooh, wicked. She deems, "Try to take some of the wings intact. We can decorate the bar with them." Then, she explains to Sinnertwin, "We're going to take this door here, find the library, and set the place on fire!" That said, she opens the door...

Sinnertwin throws his arms in the air like he just made the Super Bowl winning touchdown. He says nothing other than a loud, continuous 'woop woop'.

Smokescreen grins even wider as he nods, peeking around the door to see where all three Decepticons are currently standing, before pulling out one of his custom noisemakers. He shifts it to his right hand, leaning out with his arm in a position to throw, before he stops as he starts to see the door open. "Hang on a second, Red...they're opening the door down there."

Red Alert nods, and gestures. "Save it for later, then. But keep alert for a good time to get past them."

Excise salutes while still holding the dagger, nearly slicing his own forehead open. "Yes sir!" While Catechism and Sinnertwin head for the mystery door, Excise heads in the direction that Sinnertwin came from, intent on destroying some innocent butterflies.

Excise has left.

Sinnertwin has left.

Red Alert has left.

Butterfly Sanctuary - Parallax

Whilst Parallax does not literally have butterflies, the creatures that fill this large, dome-shaped room are analagous to the Terran species. Winged insects of all shapes and sizes flutter about the flowering vines that have been carefully wrapped around the stonework. The largest of these creatures is over three metres, its wings gossamer-thin, whilst the smallest is barely four microns across.

Contents:

Excise

Obvious exits:

Steep Staircase &lt;S&gt;

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Sinnertwin says, "Uhmm.."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Sinnertwin says, "I don't want to be 'that guy', but.."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Yeah?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "What's the story, Morning Glory?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Sinnertwin says, "I AM LOST."

Catechism ends up where Excise wanted to go, but so did Excise, evidently. She stares at the fragile little creatures - and the laser, gossamer-winged specimens, too, her hands on her hips. They're pretty. She wonders what colour they bleed.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Nah, I think it's catching, Sinnertwin - I'm in the butterfly garden you found!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Sinnertwin says, "That's great, sir, but, uh,,"

Boomslang has arrived.

Excise charges in from where Sinnertwin came from. Perhaps surprisingly, he does wind up where the butterflies are. "GRAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!" he shouts as an incoherent battlecry. Catechism is behind him but he doesn't see her, intent on his mission as he begins slaughtering the winged insects left and right. He doesn't really try to save the wings, but instead reasons that if he wipes out enough of them, then surely some mostly-intact wings will still be left over.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Excise says, "Commencing extermination procedures!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Yes, Sinnertwin?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Excise transmits the sound of a dagger being used to kill alien butterflies of varying sizes.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Sinnertwin says, "Nevermind. I will just exterminate things here."

Boomslang steps out from behind the staircase and immediately freezes as an enormous butterfly swoops right at him! "Aliens!"

Catechism watches Excise go on an insect extermination spree, her question about what colour they bleed answered handily. She looks over at Boomslang and asks, "Where did /you/ come from, now?"

Boomslang recovers himself as the butterfly twirls harmlessly past, spins around and nails it with his wrist lasers, vaporizing it into a puff of glowing ash. "Aliens! Look out!"

Boomslang seems not to like butterflies, but he calms down once Excise has 'handled' most of them. "I was, uh. Over there." He points over by the staircase.

Excise grunts as he slashes mightily. The dagger isn't a great weapon for this but he makes up for it with raw enthusiasm. "Ah ha, boss!" he says as he hacks down another insect. They are avoiding him now so he has to fly up after them. "Come to see me work my magic, eh?" He looks over at Boomslang, "Plenty of butterflies to go around. I'm not greedy."

Red Alert arrives from the Observation Tower - Parallax.

Red Alert has arrived.

Boomslang glances around warily. "No, that's okay, you can handle them, I'm going to, uh. Cover the wing leader." He puts his back to Catechism (thereby also using her as cover) and keeps an eye out for anything particularly big and fluttery.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "Smokescreen!" Red Alert's voice is just a touch below panic, which is only a touch above its normal level. "I've found the Decepticons! And the butterflies! And there's /more/ of them! This place is causing them to /multiply!/""

Catechism covers her face with her hand and mutters, "They're just /butterflies/." Fact: someday, Catechism will be hideously mauled by Spartan warrior butterflies. Excise and Boomslang have been attacking the butterflies, and Catechism has, for the most part, been standing around, wondering how she got here, but she has a goal, slaggit! She starts to head toward the steep staircase, trying to avoid stepping on the slaughter.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Smokescreen says, "The butterflies or the Decepticons?"

Red Alert stumbles to the area, spies the Decepticons, straightens, and looks for something to hide behind, choosing the stonework.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "The Decepticons. Maybe the butterflies, too. But definitely the Decepticons."

"Suit yourself," Excise replies. He flies up after the butterflies, but by now they've mostly scattered. Rather than chase them all individually, the triplechanger touches back down on the ground. Kneeling, he sorts through the insect bodies, trying to find some intact wings for the CO. He picks them up as he goes, but his general path is taking him... oh oh, towards the stonework Red Alert is hiding behind!

&lt;Autobot&gt; Saboteur Foxfire says, "Huh? Butterflies?  Where?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Smokescreen says, "Oh Vector Sigma! I'll try to get outta here and to you as fast as I can, Red"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "They haven't spotted me yet, but one's heading my way."

Red Alert's optics flash, and he crouches futher behind the stonework, butting up against it. He's not particularly stealthy or anything, and he's bright red and white, so he's mostly just hoping for inobservant Decepticons.

Excise continues to pick up insect wings, though he's having trouble holding them all. Unless Red does something it's clear he's going to run right smack into the security director. He's coming right up to the stonework, and his path will take him around it.

Catechism is totally not paying attention to the bright red Autobot. Instead, she is investigating the staircase carefully, as if she expects it to bite. She calls, "Boomslang, Excise, see anything weird about the staircase? Anything... not normal?"

Boomslang turns around and looks at it sharply. You'd think he would've already had a look at if if he was hiding behind it earlier. "I see nothing special."

Red Alert sees that he's more or less trapped - any move he could make will reveal him. So he comes to a decision. It's probably the wrong one. He transforms, diving into vehicle mode, and drives straight towards the staircase, heedless of anything that's in the way. This means, yes, he will be driving down the stairs. (Or is that up?) . Red Alert strikes Excise with ram.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "An Autobot!"

"Yeah, it's covered with dead butterflies," Excise chuckles in a good natured manner. He rounds the statue and practically picks a perfect insect wing up off Red Alert's foot when the Autobot suddenly acts, transforming into car mode and gunning it. "Gah!" All the insect wings, plus his dagger, go flying as the triplechanger gets bowled over. With a tire mark running up his middle, he calls out, "Au-au-autobot!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "They've, erm, spotted me."

"Wait, belay that!" shouts Boomslang just moments later. "There's an Autobot on it!"

Red Alert retreats from the area swiftly, outdistancing all pursuit and parting shots.

Boomslang adds, "And it's getting away!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Smokescreen says, "I've been spotted too...by Sinnertwin."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "They must be on to us. After him!"

Fire Chief's Car rolls down the staircase. Ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump.

Red Alert has left.

Catechism goes running after the Autobot that just committed hit and run on Excise, shaking her fist! Grr! Grr!

Central Courtyard - Parallax

A non-stop place of bustling activity, the alien inhabitants of Parallax constantly push through the courtyard bartering, selling, washing, talking, and generally partaking in all manner of activities. The stonework is white, clean and elegant, pillars outlining the edge with stairways leading up and down. In the centre is a huge fountain, which sparkles with crystal-clear water.

Contents:

Fire Chief's Car

Sinnertwin

Smokescreen

Obvious exits: Up &lt;U&gt; leads to Orion Nebula.

East Staircase &lt;E&gt; West Staircase &lt;W&gt;  North Staircase &lt;N&gt;

Fire Chief's Car comes rolling down the north staircase - ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump! - fleeing Decepticon persuers, and ends up... right where they started. "Oh, for Primus' sake!" he exclaims, skidding to a halt.

Excise has arrived.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "Uh, he's not here. And neither are you. I'm in that room with the moon map."

"H-hey, wait up!" Excise calls out from behind the stonework. He reaches out with a grey hand, but Boomslang and Catechism are already gone. The Decepticon, sporting a tire tread up his middle for those who missed the hit and run, crawls up the stairs and loses Boomslang, Catechism, and Red Alert. "Frak," he says, lost again.

Smokescreen looks thoughtfully at Sinnertwin, apparnetly considering the other's offer, before he raises a hand to tap a finger against his chin. "Nah, I think I'm going to pass on that one, but I've got a lovely parting gift for..." Smokescreen stops speaking as he hears Red Alert bumping across the ground in their direction. Without taking his eyes from the Autobot security expert he tosses a black square toward Sinnertwin's open mouth with a casual motion of his hand.

Catechism, somehow, actually manages to follow Red Alert, which is rather surprising, given this planet. However, she's also right back where she started, and she groans, hands on her face. Looks like Excise is hot on her trail, too, - and there's Smokescreen and Sinnertwin!

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang sounds like he's running. "Okay... still... trying to catch up here..."

Smokescreen strikes Sinnertwin with his Special attack.

Boomslang has arrived.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Wait, what? I found Red Alert!"

Boomslang comes skidding in from the battlements, somehow. It's all terribly Escherian.

Sinnertwin prepares himself to chomp down on the rest of the turkey leg, but finds himself biting onto something..not turkey. He swallows it anyway. It must be food if it's in his mouth, right?

"GRAAR! IT'S LIKE EATING LIGHTNIIINNNGGGG," he bellows, flailing around a bit before falling flat on his back.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Note to self: lightning is not edible."

Fire Chief's Car transforms as he hears the Decepticons catching up with him, since, after all, these are Transformer scaled stairs. He goes running bast Smokescreen, muttering, "Hate this place, hate this place, hate this place, hate this place," before sprinting towards one of the other stairways.

Boomslang almost trips over Red Alert as he runs in from the opposite direction, inexplicably. Shouldn't he have been behind Catechism? "This is getting crazier than I like."

Before it's swallowed the device cheerily peeps "You've been disabled by an authentic Smokescreen product!" before exploding.

Red Alert flails as Boomslang almost runs into him, then dives out of the way, hitting the ground with a roll. "Damn it!"

Excise crawl, crawl, crawl. "What th-... waterfall?" He manages to get back up on his feet and hobble in the direction he thinks Red Alert et al headed. But soon enough... "Oh come on. Butterflies?! I was just here!" The Decepticon draws out his complicated looking electro-rifle and begins blasting in random directions out of frustration. "I hate this place!" he rants.

Boomslang stumbles over Red Alert's leg and falls into the fountain.

Smokescreen takes off after Red Alert as the other transforms and makes a scramble for the stairs, reaching out with his left arm to wave mokcingly to the Decepticons, before leaping from the floor to the 2nd step all in one go.

Catechism calls over at Boomslang, "And just how crazy /do/ you like it?" For the moment, she starts to hover over toward the East Staircase - they had a goal here! But this world - it as if it fights them, tries to thwart them at every turn, distracting them with butterflies and schools...

"Just, you know, moderately crazy. Like no crazier than that," Boomslang replies as he picks himself up and shakes water out of his joints, pointing at Sinnertwin.

Red Alert has to pull himself back up after he hit the ground trying to avoid Boomslang. He goes chasing after Smokescreen now. "Hey! Wait for me!"

Red Alert begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Boomslang, Excise, Catechism, Sinnertwin, Smokescreen.

"That Autobot is getting away again," says Boomslang, tapping water out of his cone.

Excise hobbles over to the stonework that Red Alert had been hiding behind. He scowls. Definitely the same one. He kicks it a few times. "Fraking thing! Fraking planet! Fraking architecture! And fraking frak!" he shoots up the stonework, eventually obliterating it before moving back up the staircase that he went up the last time around.

Red Alert has left.

Sinnertwin scrambles to his feet, turkey leg still in hand. "What about crazy?" He turns to see Smokescreen and Red Alert fleeing. "ARGH! AUTOBOOOOTTSSSSSSS!!"

Red Alert has arrived.

Smokescreen retreats from the area swiftly, outdistancing all pursuit and parting shots.

Catechism runs, since the quarry is fleeing yet again - wait, Red Alert's not her quarry. She just hates him. Gotta keep things straight. Books! She doesn't even see Red Alert show up again as she throws herself up the East Staircase.

Hall Of Mirrors - Parallax

The brickwork more ancient here, this long, narrow and winding passageway is covered in mirrors of all shapes and sizes, distorting the light that shines through various stone windows set into the walls. The mirrors are long, short, fat and wavy, no two are the same.

Obvious exits:

Archway &lt;A&gt;

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "...Mirrors. Anyone ever find a room full of mirrors?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Excise says, "I found more fraking butterflies."

Butterfly Sanctuary - Parallax

Whilst Parallax does not literally have butterflies, the creatures that fill this large, dome-shaped room are analagous to the Terran species. Winged insects of all shapes and sizes flutter about the flowering vines that have been carefully wrapped around the stonework. The largest of these creatures is over three metres, its wings gossamer-thin, whilst the smallest is barely four microns across.

Obvious exits:

Steep Staircase &lt;S&gt;

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "You must have just left, then."

Central Courtyard - Parallax

A non-stop place of bustling activity, the alien inhabitants of Parallax constantly push through the courtyard bartering, selling, washing, talking, and generally partaking in all manner of activities. The stonework is white, clean and elegant, pillars outlining the edge with stairways leading up and down. In the centre is a huge fountain, which sparkles with crystal-clear water.

Contents:

Boomslang

Excise

Sinnertwin

Smokescreen

Obvious exits: Up &lt;U&gt; leads to Orion Nebula.

East Staircase &lt;E&gt; West Staircase &lt;W&gt;  North Staircase &lt;N&gt;

Smokescreen also starts to flee, getting ahead of Red Alert just as the other zooms past him to instantly arrive, as Smokescreen takes a path that looks likely.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "I found the library! ... I have /no/ idea how I got here."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Jayson Redfield says, "Magic."

Excise's quest to find his fellows again continues...

Excise has left.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "I think I saw a room full of mirrors on my way... wherever I am now."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "Non-sense! There's bound to be some logical explanation for this all. I just haven't found it yet!"

Sinnertwin throws his arms in the air, "I WILL DESTROY THE AUTOBOTS FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE!" He sprints up a staircase..

Boomslang has left.

..and comes back? "ARGH, WHAT IS THIS."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "Aaaugh the butterflies again."

Catechism goes to bang her head against a wall. Some of the gecko natives stare at her curiously and she vents her frustrations on the pristine stonework. She moans to Sinnertwin, "It's a madhouse. A madhouse!" The ex-Seeker makes a run for the only staircase that she hasn't tried yet...

School - Parallax

Bright and eager young natives attend school here, in classrooms with blackboards and cramped wooden desks. They learn how gravity functions relative to whatever surface they happen to be standing upon, and how, when their ancient ancestors were first crawling out of the primordial ooze, the city of Parallax already existed. Of late, the controversy that the city might have been built has been introduced into some radical classrooms, but no one takes it very seriously.

Obvious exits:

Door &lt;D&gt;

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Slagging school!"

City Battlements - Parallax

Parallax has no use for war, so the city battlements are perhaps a bit peculiar. That each set of stairs ascends up and leads into the next and yet they form a perfect square, however, is perfectly normal. They do offer a lovely view down.

Obvious exits:

Fall &lt;F&gt; Stairs &lt;S&gt;

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Excise says, "Ah ha... ah ha! I have found it! Victory to the Decepticon Empire!!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Jayson Redfield keeps at it. "A wizard did it!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Huh. They have battlements. This city is actually defensible - /where/?"

Map Room - Parallax

Staring into the map room, the floor appears to be a horizontal pair of columns that support and arc. Beyond the columns are the inky blackness of space and the wonder of stars. The left wall is a vertical pair of columns supporting another arch that show a lunar surface below, horizon, and stars above, and image that carries on to the far wall. The ceiling has an arch near the entrance and the base of the columns abuts the far wall. It shows the lunar surface, as if staring down at the moon from above. It seems that falling would be very easy, but something must be keeping the air inside.

Obvious exits:

Stairs &lt;S&gt; Fall &lt;F&gt;

Hall Of Mirrors - Parallax

The brickwork more ancient here, this long, narrow and winding passageway is covered in mirrors of all shapes and sizes, distorting the light that shines through various stone windows set into the walls. The mirrors are long, short, fat and wavy, no two are the same.

Obvious exits:

Archway &lt;A&gt;

Central Courtyard - Parallax

A non-stop place of bustling activity, the alien inhabitants of Parallax constantly push through the courtyard bartering, selling, washing, talking, and generally partaking in all manner of activities. The stonework is white, clean and elegant, pillars outlining the edge with stairways leading up and down. In the centre is a huge fountain, which sparkles with crystal-clear water.

Contents:

Smokescreen(#1950)

Obvious exits: Up &lt;U&gt; leads to Orion Nebula.

East Staircase &lt;E&gt; West Staircase &lt;W&gt;  North Staircase &lt;N&gt;

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "Excise and I have found the Autobot! And he's in the library!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Excise says, "...boss, you know I assume you're a terrific boss and all, but asking me that question, on this planet of all places..."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Sinnertwin says, "MIRRORS! MIRRORS! I HAVE MIRRORS!"

Smokescreen has left.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "...oh, yeah. I know. Slagging planet."

Hall Of Legends - Parallax

This hallway is set with statues of some of Parallax's greatest citizens, from mathematicians to philosophers to musicians. Dating from millions of years old to recent celebrities, the statues were all carved by some of the greatest stonemasons of antiquity, and the entire room gives off an aura of history.

Obvious exits:

Winding Staircase &lt;W&gt;

Smokescreen arrives from the School - Parallax.

Smokescreen has arrived.

Smokescreen has left.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert ignores the human now. "Smokescreen, uhm, problem. I've found the library, but the Decepticons have found me."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Excise says, "If it helps, the library is the building that's on fire."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Jayson Redfield just snickers.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "...wait, these statues aren't right. They're all /really old/, but they show recent celebrities! It'd be like... finding a statue of Galvatron in an ancient tomb!"

Great Library - Parallax

One of the wonders of the galaxy, the library of Parallax is huge, rows upon rows of dusty, ancient books sitting on iron and stone shelves. The soft murmur of voices reading can be heard echoing down its corridors, stifled slightly by the thickness of the books. The crown jewel in the collection is the History Of Parallax, a series of 30 tomes that tell the history of Parallax from 15 million years ago to the present day. Each volume is millions of years old, delicate pages held together by the impressive fastenings that they are mounted in.

Contents:

Smokescreen

Boomslang

Excise

Red Alert

Obvious exits:

Staircase &lt;S&gt;

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Excise says, "Time travel is unthe- impossible, boss."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism static-coughs. "Of course it is." Right. Keep up that party line for the troopers.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert snaps, "Very glad to hear you're /enjoying/ my difficulties, Private Redfield."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Jayson Redfield says, "Sorry, sorry..."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Quickswitch says, "Figures. Need some help, Red Alert?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Smokescreen says, "Red, Red, survive Decepticons first, write performance reviews later."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "Maybe the recent celebrities are clones of the old guys."

Red Alert shouts, "NO!" and dives for Excise, attempting to knock the rifle out of his hand.

Red Alert succeeds in grasping Excise, throwing him off-balance.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "They looked different..."

Catechism stumbles out of the dusty old Hall of Legends, her head spinning. She looks up, ragged and weary and... what is this that she sees? Could it be? The library? Her optics alight with avarice - the history books! Yeeees. The Decepticons will have them, and they will use the knowledge contained therein...

"Hey, none of that!" exclaims Boomslang, shooting back at Red Alert from the floor, or is it a wall?

Boomslang strikes Red Alert with Wrist-Mounted Lasers.

Excise's rifle is indeed knocked out of his hands and sent flying. Saving innocent buildings and people is always sure to force the Autobots to bring their A game, after all. "Hey!" he exclaims as the building is spared. Still sporting that tire tread, the Decepticon triplechanger scowls at Red Alert. "Oh you just made a bad, bad mistake..." he reaches for his waist, drawing out another piece of orange metal. This one expands and transforms into a huge halberd, which Excise wields with both hands. He slashes at the Autobot Security Director with a single broad stroke.

Excise strikes Red Alert with Blade.

Sinnertwin has arrived.

"Wing leader!" calls Boomslang as Catechism shows up. "We've got him cornered!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "I could... probably use some help... but I doubt you'd be able to find your way here in time!"

Sinnertwin runs through a door, hands on his head. "AARRGHH!! IT FEELS LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!"

One of the aliens in the library is not a gecko-person but looks like an escapee from a Picasso painting - vaguely humanoid, but composed of strange angles, always looking in motion, even when still. He seems to be wearing a cape with a picture of a staircase on it, but even that is hard to tell. He skulks behind the shelves, watching the Transformers.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock good at finding things!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Saboteur Foxfire says, "Can you find my ball?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Quickswitch says, "Checking your coordinates now. Ah. I see!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Grimlock says, "Me no want find you ball."

Smokescreen sees Red Alert come under fire from Boomslang and, releasing a hidden knife from a sockert concealed in his right forearm, before taking ahold of it in his left hand and flinging it end over end toward the Decepticon. "Hey, try picking on someone else!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Saboteur Foxfire audibly pouts.

Smokescreen strikes Boomslang with Blade.

Catechism watches as Sinnerwin show up, and she thinks that perhaps they are /all/ taking crazy pills. To Boomslang and Excise, she directs, "Excellent work! Keep the Autobots occupied." She herself stalks after the books, as upset librarian geckos run around, uncertain what to make of the kafuffle.

Red Alert is shot in the back and sliced in the front, his thin armor easily cut and blasted through, the circuitry beneath showing damage as well. He stumbles backwards, then falls to one knee. "You Decepticons destroy everything you touch! Well, not here, and not now!" He doesn't draw a weapon, due to what stray shots might do, and instead pulls himself back up to his feet and attempts to punch Excise.

"Ow!" exclaims Boomslang as a knife comes out of nowhere (well, out of an Autobot's hand, but he hadn't noticed it yet) and stabs him in the shoulder. He rounds on Smokescreen and pitches a marble bust of a gecko-person at him. "You want some? I've got more for you too!"

Boomslang misses Smokescreen with his Pallid Bust of Pallas attack.

Red Alert misses Excise with his Wussy-boy PUNCH! attack.

Smokescreen easily dodges the chucked bust thrown at him, laughing, before he raises up the laser pistol that has suddenly appeared in his hand(animation error!) before taking a snapshot at Boomslang. "You've got more of nothing? Ooooh, I'm shaking!"

Smokescreen strikes Boomslang with Laser.

"THAT'S IT!" Sinnertwin screams hysterically. "I AM SO SICK OF THIS GODDAMN PLACE! EVERYWHERE I GO, I END UP SOMEWHERE ELSE. OR THE SAME PLACE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE!" He interupts his own tantrum and transforms into his beast mode. "There is only one option," one head growls. "BURN THIS BITCH DOWN," the other hollers.

He begins to spew flames out of his mouths onto anything that just happens to be in the way.

With a low growl, Sinnertwin transforms into a two headed beast.

"Smokescreen," Red Alert shouts, "We have to stop Catechism!" How they're going to manage /that/ when they're outnumbered two to one, /and/ Red Alert is trying (and failing) to keep the place from being set ablaze is a good question.

Some of the shelves start falling over. This would be normal, given that there is a giant robot fight, but these shelves, dumping out heavy books, are falling of their own accord.

"Lies!!!" Excise screeches. "Lies and slander! Why I'm touching this very, /very/ beautiful halberd..." the Decepticon's tone briefly takes on a disturbingly creepy tone as he admires the weapon, "And it hasn't been destroyed, now has it?!" Red Alert gets back up, and Excise prepares to bash the Autobot in the face with the shaft of the weapon in a sort of hockey crosscheck. Unfortunately, Red Alert is a hint too fast, releasing a punch. Excise blocks the fist perfectly, but the blow causes the halberd's shaft to snap into two. "Aww," the Decepticon mutters, tossing both broken halves away. "Fine then, I'll destroy you with my bare h- ahh!" Suddenly flames streak out from Sinnertwin's twin mouthes, separating Excise and Red Alert with a huge pillar of fire. Excise backs up, unable to see Red through it.

"Ooh, hey, look, I totally just broke that priceless lizard dude statue or whatever that was," Boomslang calls back across the bizarrely shaped room as laser fire comes fizzing back his way. He ducks behind one of the stacks and pulls out his rifle, powering it up with a noise like a camera flash charging.

Boomslang sets it to his shoulder and steps back out from the stacks to let fly with a burst at Smokescreen.

Boomslang misses Smokescreen with his 25mm Gauss Rifle (burst) attack.

Boomslang then gets trapped under a veritable avalanche of books as the stacks behind him tip over. "Whoah!"

Catechism nearly gets knocked over by falling shelves as books pelt her. This is oddly familiar to her, which just says that her life is really weird, rather than attack books being normal. Finally pinned, she managed to crawl out and get to her feet, staring at the history books of Parallax - each millions of years old, yet speaking of the most recent history of the city...

Red Alert flails backwards as the flames seperate him from Excise. Then he more intentionally /runs/ backwards. Then he looks over at where Sinnertwin is trying to burn things down. Then he takes into account that he has to do this /without firing his own weapons/. He sighs heavily. "I think I've just encountered firm evidence that the universe is out to get me," he mutters, then runs towards Sinnertwin and tries to... stomp on the dragon thing's foot. "Stop that!" he shouts.

Red Alert strikes Mechanical Orthrus &lt;Sinnertwin&gt; with Stop Burning Things!.

Most of the gecko librarians have fled, crying over their precious books being knocked over, but that weird Cubist alien from earlier is still lurking around, watching the combat and steepling his fingers.

Also, the ceiling seems to be... lower. Or perhaps the floor is up higher. And are the walls closing in?

Excise backs away from the flames, only to be assaulted by books falling from the shelves, striking him about the head and shoulders. "Ow!" he exclaims, raising his arms over his head in order to protect himself. A rather large book that reads 'Triplechanging For Dummies' hits him square in the noggin, causing Excise to stumble around uselessly. Sinnertwin is getting no help from Excise right now.

Boomslang flails around under a mound of books, not helping either.

Smokescreen ducks behind a pillar nearby as the Gauss cannon begins to spit out energy at him, chewing out sections of the stone and scoring the rest, as Somkescreen briefly glances around the corner. "So, all you've got is damaging art history? Well, bully for you!" Smokescreen pulls out another one of his wonder gadgets, thumbing a contact switch, before turning around quickly and throwing it at the ground very close to Boomslang. A panel snaps back suddenly, causing a nozzle to quickly emerge, which should emit a jet of flame right up at the Decepticon.

Smokescreen strikes Boomslang with Fire.

The pile of books is burning now.

It was the sleazy romantic gecko fiction section. It will not be missed.

"Smokescreen!" Red Alert protests, "We're supposed to be trying to prevent /them/ from burning things down!" At least, Red Alert is pretty sure that's what he's supposed to be doing. He asks, a bit suspicious, "Who's side are you on?!"

"BURN, BABY, BURN! GAHAHAHA-WAAH!" The flames streaming continuously from Sinnertwin's mouths stop. Easier to scream that way. How /dare/ that little Autobot car step on him? Who does he think he is? "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" the Orthrus screams, making his internal dialogue loud and clear. One of the heads swings around to slam itself into Red Alert, prongs first of course.

Sinnertwin strikes Red Alert with Pronghorns!.

Boomslang manages to shake himself free of the burning gecko erotica, recharging his railgun with one hand while he spits laser bolts at Smokescreen with the other. "This is embarrassing," he mutters, kicking at the pile.

Boomslang misses Smokescreen with his Wrist-Mounted Lasers attack.

Yeah. The walls are definitely closing in. That's what's knocking the shelves over.

Smokescreen conceals himself behind the pillar again as he turns to call out in Red Alert's direction. "Look, I'll save the card catalog! Let's try to get out of here first!" He leans out from around the pillar again and fires off a series of snapshots toward Boomslang.

Smokescreen misses Boomslang with his Laser attack.

Red Alert is impaled upon Sinnertwin's prongs! He stumbles back, then falls on his aft. He then looks around. "The room is... is collapsing," he observes. He stands up, spins, and points at Catechism, in the center of the room. "What did you do?!" he shouts. Obviously, it's all /her/ fault.

Excise slowly lower his arms. There's no more books on the shelves near where he is. Eager to get back into the fight against Red Alert, he can't help but notice that he feels a lot taller than he was before. "Ah, I don't mean to alarm anyone, but this room is changing and contorting." A look of horror crosses Excise's face. "I think we all know what this means." Dramatic pause! "The Great Parallax Library is... /a cityformer that's transforming/!!" Dun dun DUNNNNN.

Mechanical Orthrus &lt;Sinnertwin&gt; throws his heads back and chortles. "DECEPTICONS ARE KIINNGG, HAHAHA!" He takes a step, slips on a book, and falls.

Boomslang's outline seems to shimmer as the laser beams warp around him, hooking out about a foot away from his body and then swerving back again to burn holes through a potted tree behind him. "Ha ha!" he exclaims, squeezing off a gauss shot. "Oh, huh. We'd better get out of here if Excise is right!"

Boomslang strikes Smokescreen with 25mm Gauss Rifle (single shot).

The Cubist figure finally steps out from the shadows and shouts, his many hands curled in frustrated fists, "No! No, no, no! It's not a city-former! It is I, the Stairmaster! This whole city is a trap.... just for you! And you'll never escape, Transformers!"

"'If'?" Excise asks Boomslang, sounding a little bit insulted.

"Where'd he come from?" asks Boomslang, who hadn't been paying attention.

Excise then looks over at the... Stairmaster, who ruins the theory. "...well you have to admit my theory made more sense," he tells the others.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "I second, motion carried."

The pillar has tbeen eroded to the point where Boomslang's gauss shot breaks through the weakened material and into his shoulder, causing him to spin around, and stumble several step backwards. "The building is attacking us? I -knew- we should've gotten Omega!"

Catechism runs her fingers along the spine of one of the most ancient books - and then she is knocked over by another collapsing set of shelves. No, she was so close! It's not fair!

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism growls, disgruntled, "Burn him."

Red Alert blinks up at 'Stairmaster.' He shakes his head, then grumbles, "I knew this place was a trap!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Buzzsaw puts on a sound bite.....'FINISH HIM!!!'

"YOU'RE BORING," Sinnertwin bellows, lifting himself back onto his feet. "YOU DIE NOW," he chokes out before sending a gout of towards the self-proclaimed Stairmaster.

The Stairmaster is set on fire and runs around, his little stair-themed cape fluttering behind him, and he eventually dies a really horrible death - unable to explain /why/ he was doing this or how.

The walls are still closing in, though.

"You know, his, uhm, trap never got rid of the door," Red Alert points out. He stands up, brushes himself off, and goes through it.

Red Alert has left.

Catechism groans and digs herself out of a pile of books - and the ancient books are nowhere to be seen. Where did they go? No, it can't be! Shuddering with rage and frustration, Catechism roars, "Decepticons, retreat! We're leaving this miserable world /now/!"

Boomslang points and laughs at the Stairmaster's corpse and then realizes the walls are still closing in. "Roger that, bugging out."

Smokescreen leaps behind the pillar and, at a fast clip, follows Red with his fingers crossed in the hope that he can get out of this room!

Smokescreen has left.

Boomslang has left.

Excise scoffs, "As usual, this problem can be solved by /cutting/. Stand aside, amateurs!" The Decepticon once again pulls out a shard of orange metal, which transforms up into a chainsaw of sorts. He heads for the closest wall and begins carving himself a hole through which to escape. Anyone else is free to use the hole, of course.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Smokescreen says, "Okay...I'm now at a diner. There are plenty of tables available...uh, over and out."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Fireflight says, "What kind of Diner?"

Mechanical Orthrus &lt;Sinnertwin&gt; uses the door ):

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "Right. I'll be back at the shuttle when you're ready to head off."

..and by use the door, I mean MAKE HIS OWN. HOO-RAH

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "I've found a peaceful waterfall and an idyllic windmill, over."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Smokescreen says, "Hearing you loud and clear, Red...hey, buzz off you butterflies! Take your exquisite beauty elsewhere!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "Where's the extraction point?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Excise says, "'Up'"

Smokescreen has arrived.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Saboteur Foxfire says, "Butterflies!"

Smokescreen has left.

Sinnertwin has left.

Smokescreen has arrived.

Smokescreen has left.

Boomslang has arrived.

Boomslang peeks back into the library from the top of the stairs. "Whoops."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "Not having so much luck with up on this planet."

Excise has left.

Boomslang has left.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Excise says, "Ah ha, I found an opening from which to escape this planet!"

Catechism makes a run for it, muttering rather vile curses under her exhaust. Then, she transforms and cuts straight to rocket engines, ramming a way out through the ceiling.

Boomslang has arrived.

"Whoops."

Boomslang has left.

Boomslang has arrived.

Boomslang says, "Hmm."

Boomslang has left.

Boomslang has arrived.

Boomslang grumbles.

Boomslang has left.

Boomslang has arrived.

Boomslang pinches the bridge of his nose.

Boomslang has left.

Boomslang has arrived.

Boomslang sighs.

Boomslang has left.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Boomslang says, "I think I found somewhere up works."

================================= Decepticon ================================= Message: 2/88                     Posted        Author Excise, Reporting For Duty        Fri Jan 23    Excise --

A lanky mech with angular dull orange and dark grey armour appears on the screen, wearing a self-satisfied smirk. There's a dark tire tread running up his body which does not seem to be a part of his normal paint scheme. "Hail, fellow Decepticons. Hail to our relatively new boss, Galvatron! I, Excise, have been reassigned from the fringe outposts back to the front lines. Although I'm officially an all terrain warrior, I also dabble in engineering, war planning, and neuro-surgery. So... if any of you have any neuros that needs surgery, you just let me know." He winks at the camera.

"Now then, my first assignment was with Boomslang, Sinnertwin, and Aerospace boss Catechism. We were on the planet Parallax - a world run by giant green geckos and nothing is the way it seems. We were planning on raiding the planet's galactic-famous library, but... ah... I won't bore you all with the technical mumbo jumbo, but it turns out that the planet is /crazy/. You end up heading in one direction and, bam! you're split up from the rest of your group!"

"Eventually we did find the library, and we ran into two Autobots apparently named Red Alert and Smokescreen. With Sinnertwin's help we burned the library to the ground just to spite that wretched planet before finding our way out." Excise shakes his head as he remembers the mission. "My recommendation for the planet is orbital bombardment, possibly by flinging giant buzzsaws. It's the only way to be sure that the crazy is destroyed. Excise out!"

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