Shaken Not Stirred

The Razor Hills. A barren wasteland of jagged steel and rust. Worthless as far as resources, and yet strategically? Dangerously close to Iacon. When Magnus was handed intelligence of possible Decepticon movement in the area, it was a chief concern.

Another chief concern: The promotion of Grimlock to CO of the military. While it was Magnus' decision, it was an unusual one for him, and unorthodox ideas typically left him fairly uncomfortable. The solution? Bring Grimlock along. Make sure they're on the same page.

The blue and white armored carrier slows to a stop on the Iacon side of the hills, the back of the trailer opening, a ramp swinging down for Grimlock to disembark.

Grimlock tromps out of Magnus' trailer- he doesn't seem too happy about needing to hitch a ride...but then again, it's Grimlock. "Hnh." The dinobot says, and looks over the jagged landscape. "Me Grimlock no see anythings. Maybe them septi-cons heard me Grimlock coming and run 'way? That happens lots."

"I wouldn't put it out of the realm of possibility, Grimlock." The carrier transforms into the almost as imposing as Grimlock figure of Ultra Magnus! "But I wouldn't count on it being permanent. Jazz reports that a team of Decepticon engineers were preparing a trench system to the southeast." He scratches his chin, frowning. "I have a bad feeling they're planning on digging in for good." Ultra Magnus transforms into his inspiring POWER-ARMOR ROBOT mode!

High, high above, a recon drone is drifting along, trying to make sense of her life, trying to figure out what in the world she's going to do next, trying to find inner peace like some kind of castoff mechanical hippie. Up here, out of the way of laserbeams and other painful objects, she can fret and mutter to herself in peace.

Well she COULD HAVE but it seems like there are people moving around below. She pauses in her fretting and watches them from a safe distance.

"Constructicons?" Grimlock says. He looks to the southeast, as if waiting for a green and purple giant to rise any moment...when nothing comes, Grimlock just lets out a 'hm.' He shrugs, and looks to Ultra Magnus. "So what if they dig in? Us Autobots just smash them up. Or go around. Or...something."

Ultra Magnus nods in agreement after a moment. There's something comforting about Grimlock simplicity. No, not simplicity: he's straight forward. To the point. Can we punch it or can't we? "Either way, I have a bad feeling about this place. No cover, no way to build forward bases...Trench warfare at it's worst."

"If it that bad, no fight here." Grimlock says. "Let septi-cons do whatevers, and go fight some other place. That how strateegery work." The dinobot hmmms, and narrows his visor at Ultra Magnus. "Me Grimlock thought you smarter than thats! You have map? Get map, me Grimlock show you good strateegering. Me Grimlock great at that."

Hmm. What ARE these two doing down there? Snowblind gets just low enough to snap off a few photos and try to listen in.

Ultra Magnus chuckles. "Very good point." He taps his wrist, and a small holographic map of the region shimmers to life. "Your thoughts, commander?"

Grimlock hmms, and looks at the map for a few long moments. "Yeah," Grimlock says, "Nothing here. 'Cept maybe Decepticons. Maybe." He hnnmns, "If septi-cons here, though...me Grimlock guess it be okay for go smash them, but...grr. Me Grimlock get better look!" And with that, Grimlock activates his anti-gravs- a rare piece of technology for an autobot- and he soars into the air! He gets to a proper observation height a few hundred feet above the ground...and then grunts, seeing that he's not alone in the sky! "Hey! Me Grimlock find something!"

"H...hey! How are you doing that? And what are you?!" The small drone is waaay closer to Grimlock than she though she'd be. Of course the Decepticon insignia on her wing probably won't help things.

The map vanishes as Grimlock takes off. "Grimlock, you can't just-" He sighs, watching the mech soar into the sky. "Grimlock!" He pauses. "What did you Find?" Find something? In the sky? <>

It's a chance thing- as Snowblind veers too close, Grimlock lashes one hand out, attempting to close his massive fingers around some piece of the plane-drone! Admittedly, he's not built for arial combat, but that doesn't stop the dinobot from lunging after Snowblind anyway! "Is drone! And it TALK!" Grimlock yells down at Ultra Magnus, not bothering with the radio.

Combat: Grimlock strikes Snowblind with his GRAB'D (Grab) attack.

Snowblind is grabbed! She screams like a girl. Because she /is/. "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE TOUCHING ME!" She begins trying to fly backwards and wiggling around.

Ultra Magnus sighs. <> Magnus switches his optical enhancers on, zooming in on Grimlock. <> Somewhere in Iacon, there's a jetpack Magnus didn't bother packing.

Grimlock blissfully ignores Snowblind's protests, keeping hold of her with one massive, unyielding hand. Grimlock doesn't 'land' so much as 'turn his antigravs off on purpose,' and so he smashes down onto the ground next to Ultra Magnus.

"Plane thing." Grimlock says, idly shaking poor Snowblind at Ultra Magnus, like a kid showing off a captured turtle. "Is Septi-con. See?" And he points to the telltale purple insignia! "Septi-con tell us stuff. For STRATEEGERY."

Snowblind wobbles all over, jets blasting up air and sand pathetically. "Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oaohhhh!" she shouts, bounced around. "...urgh...I... I think I'm gonna jettison my f-fuel... *URP*"

Ultra Magnus frowns, studying the Decepticon. "A scout. Recon...Not a familiar one, however. Grimlock, do you recognize her?" He pauses. "Never mind." Magnus steps forward. "Identify yourself, Decepticon." Anyone who thought that the Dinobots were only good for breaking and smashing were fools- Magnus was feeling better about Grimlock's promotion every passing minute.

"Nope! Must be new kind. Her not know me Grimlock. Heh." The dinobot rattles Snowblind some more, and then moves to hold her upside-down, by her tailfins. "Me Grimlock thought all septi-cons know me by now."

"... I... I need an adult...!" Snowblind squeaks. And then burps again.

"I assumed they did too, at this point," Magnus has to admit, glancing at Grimlock. He steps forward. "I'll say again, Decepticon. Name, rank, and purpose in the Hills."

"You need lot more than that." Grimlock says, content to play 'bad cop' for now. He tightens his grip- not too hard, but enough to faintly dent delicate aircraft fusellage. "You septi-con am in big trouble! Tell us Autobots stuff, and me Grimlock just crush you little bit, instead of lots."

Snowblind whimpers. "I was just flying around! I'm not even a combat model OW please don't put dents in that the guys at the base are going to think I did something unseemly and I'll never live it down!" As the pressure increases she tries to keep talking but this is embarassing when a dinosaur has grabbed your afterburner. The handprints alone are scandalous! And that's all she needs right now with Singe jetting down her neckplate at every turn. "I-I'm Snowblind, I'm just a recruit, and all I was t-t-trying to do was go somewhere alone to clear my head!"

Ultra Magnus glances at Grimlock while Snowblind speaks. "Ease up on her, Grimlock." He frowns at her. "A recruit? From Crystal City?" Were reports true? The Decepticons were heavily recruiting? "As for clearing your head, you're rather close to Iacon for soul searching." Grimlock looks to Magnus, and lets out a "Fiiiiine." And he neatly drops Snowblind to the ground. Of course, before she can move, Grimlock makes it a point to place one massive foot upon her, with just enough weight to keep her hopefully pinned down without crushing her too badly! That's playing nice, for a dinobot.

"Hnnn. Me Grimlock bet you head be clear when it no longer on you." He rumbles. "Cuz, y'know, me Grimlock should cut it off."

Oh Primus oh primus think of something think of something this is not good and you are made out of aluminum foil WHY DID THE FACTORIES GET SO CHEAP HALFWAY THROUGH THE WAR?!

"I'm not from Crystal City, I was assigned to find energon in the Omicron Persei system before the great shutdown and they assumed I was dead and just left me there! Do you know how boring it is on a barren rock substisting on one sixteenth energon rations for millions of years?!" She snorts and wiggles in Grimlock's hands a little. "I don't care about blasted Iacon, the air around here was nice and clear and empty, at least until that whatever it is that's CRUSHING MY BACKSIDE flew up into it--!"

She's unceremoniously dropped into the sand and then held with a big foot. She jets out a sand cloud like a cough. Her voice is muffled by the sand. "You guyf mmr animalmf! I nemer did anifing andm you jusff shootff at mmmmf!"

"Not shooting. Just grabbing." Grimlock notes, as if explaining to a kid. "Me Grimlock even being nice and no destroying you and stuff!" He just shakes his head, and looks at Ultra Magnus. "Me Grimlock think her not know anything. Other septi-cons prolly kick her out for being stupids. Very sad. Only she still am septi-con so me Grimlock no really care."

Ultra Magnus isn't quite sure what to make of this. "Before the shutdown? You were one of Megatron's original recruits?" Unexpected. "That explains your manners, at least. It still doesn't explain what you're doing here." He nods to Grimlock. "Maybe not stupid...but certainly not knowledgable."

Snowblind jets a huge cloud of sand up behind Grimlock and coughs. "...th-there..." Another cough. She sounds less muffled. "Yes, imagine my surprise to find that Megatron is now a name I cannot mention." Genuine frustration in her voice. The drone femme decides that if playing sad and helpless worked to get that creepy microscope scientist Autobot to let her go before locking her in that whatever it was with that half-mangled helpless body, maybe it will help in this case, too. "None of them have honor anymore! They all treat each other like garbage and... it's... it's not what I thought it was." Sounding forlorn now. "Nevertheless I gave my word... so... even if I must die for my bad choices, so be it. I gave my word!" Stiff upper lip! She struggles harder. "But do me a favor and teach YOUR side some manners! Per--Perceptor, was it? Tell him not to shoot at noncombatants next time! And not to be so creepy! I don't know wher you're getting your recruits but he is /not right/. I've never seen an Autobot lie so much!"

Ultra Magnus isn't quite sure what to think of Snowblind's story, honestly. "Grimlock, let her go. I don't think we have anything to gain here." He holds his arms over his chest. "I'd think twice before apporaching restricted airspace again, Snowblind."

Grimlock shrugs a bit. "Hnnnf. Stupid septi-con no know anything? Well...me Grimlock TEACH her something." And with that, Grimlock takes his foot off of Snowblind- only to scoop her up in one massive hand once more! He dangles her from her tailfin like a snared fish, and leans in to glare at her nosecone. Admittedly, she might not have a proper cockpit or even cameras there...but still.

"Me Grimlock." He says, plainly. "Me Grimlock am STRONGEST AUTOBOT. And me Grimlock love smashing septi-cons. Tell all you friends that me Grimlock coming. Coming for YOU, next time. Haw haw haw!"

And, with that bit of disdainful laughter, Grimlock rears back his arm, and simply *THROWS!* Snowblind off into the distance! It's a long, parabolic arc- plenty of time for her to get her engines back on line before she hits the ground. Hopefully.

"Hnf." Grimlock dusts his hands off. "That was boring. Next time, me Grimlock pick place to go!"

"You know that's not going to happen," Snowblind says to Ultra Magnus. "You're a soldier. You get orders, you have to follow them. So do I."

She's about to bark back at Grimlock, trying to be brave, when SUDDENLY THROWN. "AAAEEEEEeeeeiiiiii.....! *ting*" Team Snowblind, blasting off again.