Defcon vs Catechism - Full Combat

Defcon is seated at the bar, chugging down another intoxication that he ordered. "Barkeep, another!" he belches out, twirling around in the mini-stool one size too small for his aft. He's absently thinking about his upcoming match... ...and when the Decepticon trash will show itself. Probably never, little seekers prolly wetting her bed right now. "On the double Gar-so!"

"Excuse me ... ...oh Honorable Bounty Hunter sir... ...but Gar-so means boy-bot. As you can see... ...I'm all man-bot."

"Shaddup and make my drink will ya!" Defcon replies, throwing a few credits down on the bar.

Defcon orders a Breakfast of Champions from the bar.

The Bartender mutters as he works. "I hope I don't have to serve any Nebulese today. Those green faces make me queasy!"

The Bartender slams down the Breakfast of Champions that Defcon ordered.

Catechism has no idea what to do at a 'milk bar'. This 'milk' seems to be a sort of fuel used by organics. She looks over the menu, oblivious, and wanders up to the bar to make her order. Then, she looks over at Defcon. Straxus, and she has to fight *him*? Fun.

Catechism orders a Energon Chai from the bar.

The Bartender hums jauntily. "All those other planets think the Nepsan Crown Jewels belong to them. But they're ours. Clue is in the name!"

The Bartender slams down the Energon Chai that Catechism ordered.

Defcon chuckles at the joke the Bartender said, or at least it sounded like a joke. It doesn't really matter, because the Bartender starts chuckling when the bounty hunter does so... ...intimidation goes a long way I guess. His head stoops for a second, then looks around the area... ...two green aliens in the corner making out... ...a smooth-jazz band setting up for a set... ...two femme bots fighting over one guy-bot... ...yup, he's in a bar.

Defcon throws another credit down on the bar, about to order another drink when he notices Catechism. "Oh, they let you kids out this late do they?"

A little ways down the bar, is a strange alien creature that looks suspiciously like a fish. It may or may not be old enough to drink, but then nobody can tell anyway. Who's going to card a Fish?

Catechism sips her Energon Chai. it's warm and comfortingly spiced. She glances sidelong at the fish and replies to Defcon, "And Autobots fight kids these days, huh? We have a fight on the schedule." She gulps down the rest of her chai and crushes the cube against her cone.

Defcon slams down his drink as well, only it's kind of empty... ...so the glass shatters on the bar-top. "I wouldn't call it so much as a... ...fight." The bounty hunter stands up, thank goodness without stumbling backwards. Maybe it's foolhardy to drink so much before regulated combat... ...but then again, maybe it's just his style. "Hey fish, judge this!" he points out to the alien fishy thingy.

"It's not a fight. It's simple." Defcon cracks his knuckles, then leaps forward at Catechism. "I hit you, you fall down!"

Defcon strikes Catechism with Punchdrunk love!.

The bartender looks over at the fish. "Make sure they don't do any unnecessary damage, ok?" he says.

"Okay!" the Fish pipes up, in a voice three octaves higher than Wheelie's. He turns his attention to the Autobot Bounty Hunter and the cone-headed Seekerette. "I'll make sure it's fair, too!"

One of the other bar patrons snorts.

"Hey, don't laugh! Koby Fish is a bouncer for one of the toughest bars on Monacus," the bartender replies.

The random patron's eyes go wide. "That? THAT'S a bouncer? ....You're kidding, right?"

Catechism gets hit, but she isn't doing any falling down right now. Instead, she spits out a bolt and laughs, deep and low. Blitzwing tried fighting drunk. It seemed to work okay for him, or so she is told. She looks Defcon up and down, and she replies, "Sorry. It's a fight." That said, she takes aim and shoots at Defcon.

Catechism strikes Defcon with 25-mm GAU-12 cannon .

The small arms laser fire marks up his chest armor a bit, leaving little mini sized dents into an otherwise perfect piece of plate. Defcon saunters back up to Catechism, looking down at his opponent. "Fight implies an... ...air of fairness... ..." He turns his back to her, but sweeps back around fast as all get out... ...lunging one foot towards her chest. "This is a joke!"

Defcon strikes Catechism with This Is Sparta!.

Catechism gets hit again, and she takes a few steps back. She replies solemnly, "You're right. This isn't fair." She swings a fist at Defcon. It's just a normal Seeker fist. Then the hatches on the back of the fist pull back, and a wicked set of spikes extend out of her hand. "But that's how I like it. So laugh all you want."

Catechism strikes Defcon with Spiked Knuckles.

The Fish looks on at the battle, noting with interest the spiked knuckles. "You know, on Vegra IV, they'd throw you in the stockade just for having those," he comments to Catechism. "Come to think of it, they'd prolly throw you in there for the arm lasers and stuff too."

Defcon was going to let the simple punch impact against him, make a cocky show of his lack of seriousness in this fight. But before he can blink, spiked knuckles are impacting against his face... ...his beautiful face! Defcon whirls around, crouching with his back towards her once again. Maybe Catechism isn't all show like he thought... ...maybe the bounty hunter should take it up a notch?

A pool of faint blue energy starts to collect in his right hand, mostly covered up by his bulky body. "Oh I won't laugh... ..." he whips around, charging back at her. "I'll dance...", his arm extends within an inch of her abdomen. "On your grave!" The built up charge jumps from his palm.

Defcon strikes Catechism with Transformer Chidori!.

Catechism grunts, as the Naruto technique totally maims her. She snorts and notes, "So much fuss over a few spikes. You are a lawman! Or so I am told. No one ever dies in Six Laser. Unless, of course, you'd like to break the laws." She levels an arm gun at Defcon to introduce him to the otherside fo the electromagnetic spectrum: magnetics.

Catechism strikes Defcon with Magnetic Mayhem.

Koby Fish nods approvingly at the Chidori technique. "Did you have to go to the Land of the Hidden Leaf Village for that?" he wonders. "Me, I had to do all my learning from the Pervy Sage and the ancient Toads."

The magnetic waves indeed wreak a little havoc on Defcon's systems, knocking him backwards a couple of feet, stumbling until he regains his footing. His hands are covering his optics, they are trying to readjust themselves after the attack, but the cannon atop his head begins it's familiar *VVVVRRRRMMMMM* with a light yellow shine from the tip of the barrell. His stance widens, the hands and arms falling against his side. Charging forward, the cannon let's out a small blast... ...clearly just a fraction of what the weapon is worth. "I AM THE LAW!"

Defcon strikes Catechism with Judge Dredd, eat your heart out!.

Catechism gets a hole clean through one shoulder. She mutters, "It's a good thing that Decepticons are beyond the law." Seems Catechism pushed a button there, didn't she? She withdraws her whip and attempts to snap the twin tips around Defcon's headcannon, to drag him down into the milk-covered floor of the milk bar.

Defcon evades Catechism's Electrified Whip attack.

"Oooh kinky," the Fish squeals. "Is this a fight, or Klingon fo-...err, nevermind."

The whip lashes out right on target... ...only Defcon isn't standing there any longer. He's shortened the distance between the two considerably, almost within arms length now. "No one is above law... ..." The bounty hunter sends one jab to the Seeker's face, "Especially Decepticon..." followed directly with a hook. "TRASH!"

Defcon strikes Catechism with Meet my friend, the Law. Don't forget his cousin, JUSTICE!.

Catechism gets knocked back into the bar, and she skids along the counter. Her face is nearly caved in, her optics cracked. She puts away her whip and sits up, groaning. Trying to something a bit more brainless than the whip, she aims a gun at Defcon, insisting with a lop-sided grin, "Chemical waste. Get it straight."

Defcon evades Catechism's Acid Strike attack.

The fish EEEEKS as the acid is released, and rushes to grab a gigantic box of Arm & Hammer baking soda, to spread on the floor in case any dripped. "Careful with that stuff!" he shouts.

Defcon's head cannon was powering up the entire time, *VVVRRRMMM* it's color shifting from dull yellow to bright orange. "It's all the same to me." he smirks, raising his lowered head to meet optics with Catechism. The cannon grows louder, it's color shifting into a near blinding red. "You don't deserve to be here... ...You don't deserve to..." His head kicks back viciously, the plasma rocketing out of the fixed head-mounted cannon. "Live..." he mutters but is most likely drowned out by the attack. His feet scrape against the floor, Defcon is pushed back about a foot.

Defcon strikes Catechism with Head-Cannon ::Maximum Yield::.

Catechism cannot dodge worth beans today. This is her penance for beating the ever-lovin' slag out of Sunder, twice, and Blitzwing. Catechism is looking like a medical textbook example of a plane crash crossed with a burn victim. She grabs a bottle of something from behind the bar, earning the ire of the bartender, and attempts to chuck the bottle at Defcon, replying, "Yeah, yeah. Read me my crimes, lawman."

Catechism strikes Defcon with Bottle!

The Fish winces as the bottle is thrown. "HEY! That was the last bottle of Rickard's Red!" he complains. He darts towards the site of the broken bottle, feverishly lapping up the spilled beer while avoiding the glass fragments.

"Why couldn't you have grabbed a bottle of Lucky, or Molson? They've got more than enough of that swill to throw around," the Fish adds crankily.

Catechism sarcastically mutters to the fish, "Because I specifically wanted to spite you." She's a robot. She doesn't care about beer! Cheerily, Catechism insists, "No, just murder."

The bottle impacts on his shoulder, doing little save spread a sticky substance on the bounty hunter. "Rights are for people being detained... ..." His right arm raises, pointing a large blaster rifle that's mounted on his arm at Catechism. "I'm not currently entertaining the thought of capturing you... ..." He fires a couple of shots at her.

Defcon strikes Catechism with Pew Pew Pew.

Despite her bluster and bravado, she's scared now, and she hasn't been this scared in a single one of her fights. It's that she hasn't been able to dodge at all. Defcon's aim, moreso than his image, is the really terrifying part. The Seeker pushes herself off the bar and takes a wild swing at Defcon.

Defcon evades Catechism's Smiting The Heathens attack.

The Fish quickly gets out of the way, lest he be smitten, or smited, by accident. He sighs and goes over to the bar. "Gimme a rum and coke. With Captain Morgan's spiced rum instead of that Lamb's stuff." As he awaits his drink, which is being poured into a glass that reads "TRAILER PARK BOYS--SHOWCASE--/Get your own glass, Ricky!/", he shakes his head as he watches Catechism get pummeled.

"Hey, where's your pet Sweep?" the Bartender asks.

"I put some roofies in his energon," the Fish says, "So he can't get away."

(OOC: No, this is not Sunder that the fish is referring to. He's referring to a gumbySweep)

Defcon ducks, letting the punch hit nothing but air. "Oh what's wrong... ...Has the Decepticon lost it's gusto?" Is this trash done already... ...she seems to be slowing down a bit... ...It can't be /this/ easy! Big blue clenches his fist, "Oh come on Catechism... ..." The bounty hunter springs up off the ground with the fist raised up, headed towards Catechism's chin. "Grow some f@#$ing fangs!

Catechism evades Defcon's Shouryuuken! attack.

Catechism drops to the floor. Sure, she gets grimy, but it's better than being Narutoed by Defcon. From the floor, she blindly tries to snap off a shot at Defcon. She tries to keep the waver out of her voice, "What, you want gusto, now? You're implying I had it in the first place"

Defcon evades Catechism's disruptor attack.

An enraged Sweep enters the bar, accompanied by Sunder. The unnamed Sweep indicates the Fish, and Sunder angrily stomps towards the little miscreant. "YOU!" he bellows, "What is the meaning of this? Drugging Sweeps? Who do you think you are? Reverse-Troy Mc Clure?"

"EEEE, stay away from Troy Mc Clure!" the Fish squeals.

Sunder turns towards Defcon. "If it's fangs you want, you need look no further than the Sweeps."

Defcon steps out of the way, the attack missing him completely... ...it's kind of sad really... ...like staring down an animal that's already wounded, limping around trying to give off the visage of life... ...yet it's the impending opposite that's the reality. "Your pathetic..." the bounty hunter states, pushing a random green alien out of the way. "Admit defeat... ...This fight was over before it started." Defcon surges forward, throwing an elbow at her head. "Submit!"

Defcon strikes Catechism with Elbow to the Optic!.

Catechism is beaten, a leaking mess, and there's Sunder to mock her defeat. Oh, joy. All the same, she transform, knocking over chair, tables, and stools as she explains into the form of a jet. The F-35B hisses, "I admit nothing." There is a launch... F-35, Marine Corps variant, transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her shoulders to expose her face, and her wings rotate into position.

Defcon evades F-35B Lightning II 's AIM-120C AMRAAM attack.

Defcon stares at the projectile, and everything seems to slow down to a crawl... ...he could easily evade the attack... ...but what would an explosive like that do to the civilians around? As an Autobot, his purpose is to defend life... ...make sure that it does not end needlessly... ...logic dictates that protection is more important than this fight... ...but does Defcon arrive at that conclusion?

The bounty hunter moves into action, sailing over the rocket, but locking a hand on it's hind-side. "You forgot something!" He hooks the rocket around and tries to bear hug it to his enemy... ...damaging himself in the process... ...but making sure that the explosion doesn't reach anyone else.

F-35B Lightning II  evades Defcon's Rocket Hug! attack.

F-35B Lightning II  can suddenly dodge, now that she is a hulking huge fighter jet? Er... what? Catechism transform and skids behind a tossed-over table, snapping off a potshot at Defcon. F-35B Lightning II transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her body, and her wings rotate into position at her hips.

Catechism strikes Defcon with 25-mm GAU-12 cannon .

Koby Fish puts up a paling, shielding all the other bar patrons in case Defcon's self-sacrifice doesn't completely contain the blast. The two Sweeps wince, then glare at the Fish again.

"I didn't do anything to your buddy, honest! I just wanted a pet Sweep! They look so cool!" Koby Fish protests.

"Pet? PET?!" Sunder sputters in rage, "NOBODY makes a PET out of a Sweep! How dare you!"

The rocket explodes, but doesn't take out Catechism as planned... ...instead it has to suffice for the roof of the establishment. He drops to the ground, his armor completely covered in black soot... ...when suddenly he's marked up with little pecks of fire. "I don't think you get it.. ..This fight?" His head-mounted cannon hums up again, *VVVRRRMMM*. "It's over."

Defcon strikes Catechism with Head-Cannon ::Medium Yield::.

Catechism falls to the ground unconscious.

"She...lost?" Sunder gapes, staring at the now prone Catechism. He looks over at Defcon and raises an optic brow.

"The match is over! The Bounty Hunter...WIIIIINS. Fatality." the Fish states.

And indeed, it is over. Catechism is out of it like a lightbulb smashed against pavement. What were they expecting, really? She's a generic Seeker. Defcon is an Autobot who has survived alone in outer space for millions of years.

Oh, yeah. Defcon is also a sexy Autobot.

Defcon looks at the Decepticon... ...she cumbles to the ground like a piece of broken bread... ...it /was/ as easy as he thought... ...but one doesn't know until he tries. The bounty hunter sits down at the bar, slamming down a years worth of credits. "That should pay for the damage done to your establishment, and my next drink!"

Defcon orders a Holy Bartender from the bar.

The Bartender throws his towel onto the floor, shouts "That's it, I quit FOREVER!" and storms off. Moments later he reappears and gets back to work as if nothing had happened.

The Bartender slams down the Holy Bartender that Defcon ordered.