Goldpalaver

Palaver: To talk idly or deceitfully; to employ flattery; to cajole; as, to palaver artfully.

Catechism's radio logs pertaining to the enigmatic Goldpaver.

05 July 2029
 Goldpaver buzzes, "RuN!! RuN!!! RuN!!!"

 Arachnae clicks on with a "NYAAARGH" then clicks off.

 Fulcrum says, "We should not be tearing the Decepticons apart about this. Surely it can be resolved by a brutal fight to the death. Perhaps in some sort of dome structure."

 D-56 Ramjet says, "Nnnh. Dome. Dome good. Dome -very- good."

 Collateral says, "That's what I've been saying all along! When do we get our ente-erm. Our fight-to-the-death-to-find-out-who's-the-real-boss?"

 Redshift says, "Galvatron and Megatron already fought. Did you forget who was the last mech standing?"

 Fulcrum says, "Two mechs enter, one mech leaves."

 Galvatron says, "Enough Goldpaver. You are my toy, do not share your heretical words with those foolish enough to misinterpret"

 D-56 Ramjet says, "Two mechs enter! One mech leaves!"

 Inquisitra says, "Because we all know that hand to hand combat is what makes a brilliant military leader and that it has nothing to do with skill or might against our actual enemies."

 Collateral says, "Frag yeah."

 Fulcrum says, "Inquisitra. We already KNOW Lord Galvatron is all of those things. All we are trying to work out is which is the real one. What would you have us do, race them?"

 Inquisitra says, "They are both the real one."

 Scavenger says, "Hasn't anyone considered.. other options?"

 Fulcrum says, "And how do you know?"

 Inquisitra says, "And the real one knows that with their combined firepower and strength even of a divided empire, that Rodimus Prime and his pathetic compatriots have no chance. We have utter faith that the Real Galvatrons will lead Us to victory."

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "...so you're saying they're a combiner?"

<Decepticon> Inquisitra says, "We are saying you are a dolt."

<Decepticon> Fulcrum says, "The Empire already threatens to tear itself apart. And no true Decepticon leader would work hand in hand with another."

<Decepticon> Fulcrum says, "Lead, not work. Bah!"

<Decepticon> Counterpunch says, "I believe she insinuates that both comprise the whole."

<Decepticon> Scavenger says, "Maybe we don't need. Eitehr or...all this fighting about leaders. I think its time.... oops this thing's on."

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "Well you should have said that in the first place."

<Decepticon> Collateral, cheerful.

<Decepticon> Counterpunch says, "Both of them are a part of the greater whole. Divided... incomplete... but if merged together once more, might be the Galvatron we all remember."

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "...so he /is/ a combiner."

<Decepticon> Americon says, "Hurray! I am on the moon!"

<Decepticon> Fulcrum says, "Hn. Then it is a surcical matter, and I defer to Scrapper."

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "Postcard?"

<Decepticon> Geo says, "... what?"

<Decepticon> Inquisitra resonates, "Idiots."

<Decepticon> Americon says, "I will send you one! But for now I'm going to check out some American landmarks... in America!"

<Decepticon> Counterpunch sighs theatrically. "No, Collateral. Inquisitra... I assume I'm concurring with your opinion on this matter?"

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "In America!"

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Unnh.. so catchy."

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "This is fraggin' confusing."

<Decepticon> Inquisitra resonates, "Our opinions shall not be discussed."

<Decepticon> The LATE Goldpaver says, "Zzo.. CoLd... zZo C-cOlD..."

<Decepticon> Long Haul says, "..What the slag is that?"

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Hnnnh. Not what. But who."

<Decepticon> Sixshot says, "And where."

<Decepticon> Long Haul says, "Hrrn.."

<Decepticon> Megatron says, "Goldpaver... one of the two missing in action in attacks by Galvatron's men, yes? Goldpaver and Baffles?"

<Decepticon> Sixshot says, "This almost sounds more interesting than tormenting Cosmos."

<Decepticon> The LATE Goldpaver says, "G-g-GoLdPaVeRRR?? OnCe WaZZZZ thErE A DeCePtIc-c-c-c-cOn NaMeD g-G-g-GOlDpAvEr... HeHahAHeehehAhAHA.."

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "...alright, who broke their own vocalizer?"

<Decepticon> <:D Catechism says, "Someone, track his radio signal, whoever that is."

<Decepticon> Buzzsaw says, "Triangulating the signal... Soundwave would do it faster, of course, but he's... indisposed at the moment."

<Decepticon> Megatron says, "What became of that unlucky Decepticon, Goldpaver? Where does his story end?"

<Decepticon> The LATE Goldpaver says, "It Is C-c-C-CoLd HeRe... tHe D-d-D-d-aRkNeSs BlInDzzz Me BuT zzzOoN cOmEzzz ThE fIrE. Z-zZ-ZoOn He CoMEzZzZ tO b-B-buRn It All. BeWaRe. bEwArE, ChIlD-d-D-d-ReN oF cYbErTrOn.. BeWaRe ChIldReN oF pRiMuZZZZ. CaLl FoRtH tHe PrOtEcTor. ThE pRotEctOr Of CyBeRtRoN... l-L-l-O-z-ZZZZt In TiMe...!!!"

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "..."

<Decepticon> Noah Wolfe says, "He's off his bloody rocker!"

<Decepticon> Sixshot says, "Apparently his encounter didn't leave much sense intact."

<Decepticon> Buzzsaw says, "Just a few more moments. Keep him talking, please."

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "He's off /something/, all right. And if he's on something, I want some!"

<Decepticon> Sixshot says, "Think you can go into more detail there Goldpaver?"

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "/Silence/, /Goldpaver/."

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Uh-oh."

<Decepticon> Sixshot says, "Oh now this just makes me want to hear more!"

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "Your heresy has already earned you one death. I am not above granting you another."

<Decepticon> Megatron says, "Bah! We will find you soon enough, Cyclonus. You can't hide your little cult from us forever."

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "I have no intention of hiding forever, oh obsolete one."

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "In fact, I will stand rather proudly over your lifeless form."

<Decepticon> The LATE Goldpaver says, "LoZzzT iN tImE. wHeRe Is He!! ThE pReTeNdEr C-c-... CyClOnUzzz.. NoOoOoOoo.. Do NoT hUrT mE aGaIn.. I wAzzz LoyAL!!!! I ZzZzErVeD wElL!!!! DoN't HuRt Me, CyClONuZZZ! AAIEEEEEEzzzz..."

<Decepticon> Geist says, "For the record... I am not part of any cult."

<Decepticon> Cyclonus sounds like he is punching someone, possibly Goldpaver, in the face repeatedly as he talks. "The Sweeps' prattling about 'the Hunt' is close enough, Geist."

<Decepticon> Sixshot says, "I reckon this has been an enlightning episode of nothing."

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "...Cyclonus is a Pretender?"

<Decepticon> Buzzsaw says, "I have a lock on the Goldpaver signal, Mighty Megatron! It's- oh, it's gone now. But I have triangulated its previous location!"

<Decepticon> Megatron says, "That will be quite sufficient. We can leave the question of who will stand over whose form for when next we meet, Cyclonus."

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "If a pathetic mess of a robot like /Starscream/ can successfully bring about your downfall, Megatron..."

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "...then you have no idea what you're in store for with /me/."

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Megatron. I hope Shockwave has informed you of my request for audience."

<Decepticon> Megatron says, "You may find me in the command center, Geist."

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Hnnh."

<Decepticon> Long Haul says, "It took a Prime to soften up Megatron enough for Starscream to pull off his Jackassery, a Prime that died. You are no Prime, boy, no Prime!"

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "That is the last time you kill one of our men, CYCLONUS."

<Decepticon> Sixshot silent on the matter.

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "And you are nothing more than a tub, Constructicon."

<Decepticon> Collateral can be heard munching on something that sounds suspiciously like popcorn. Munchmunchmunch.

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Without an execution on the schedule?"

<Decepticon> Long Haul says, "I am a lesser part of a greater whole."

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "You are /lesser/."

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "And it ends there."

<Decepticon> Long Haul says, "Your end my be here, Unicronian, but not mine. I will still fulfill my humble role long after you have rusted, forgotten on some battlefield."

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "You are forgotten /now/. Or do you really think that our race has any proper use for a /pelvis/?"

<Decepticon> Long Haul says, "I am ther mightiest pelvis that the galexies have ever known, Cyclonus. I am the core of the Decepticon's greatest master peice. What are you? Recycled space junk, inferior parts.. A failure of a contraption, a misbegotten, wretched collection of usless parts."

<Decepticon> Cyclonus says, "In what little time you have left, Long Haul, I would consider a few things. Namely, the consequences of one's words when one speaks to those capable of atomizing them so flippantly. Perhaps you may yet learn an important lesson before I feed your laser core to Sunder."

<Decepticon> Arachnae says, "Disgusting."

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Hnnnh."

<Decepticon> Arachnae says, "And a waste of rescources."

<Decepticon> Long Haul says, "Your last sight will be lime green, Cyclonus. Scrapper will enjoy turning you into a antenna for our communications systems."

<Decepticon> Arachnae hmmms, "Just core him and hook him up to a visual feed at the mausolem, stuck staring at Starscreams decapitated statue for eternity.

09 July 2029
<Decepticon> The LATE Goldpaver says, "BeWaRe! BeWaRe!"

<Decepticon> <:D Catechism says, "Beware what? More space pastries?"

<Decepticon> Dreadwind says, "Why bother? It's not as if we can avoid our terrible fate."

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Here we go again."

<Decepticon> The LATE Goldpaver says, "ZeVeN wArRiOrZ cOmE tO ZtReNgThEn A wEaK aNd FrAcTuReD eMpIrE. tHiZ wIlL bE a zIgN oF tHe CoMiNg Of ThE pReTeNdEr. BeWaRe ThE pRetEnDeR!!!"

<Decepticon> Dreadwind says, "They've already been and gone, terrible idea those fleshy suits."

<Decepticon> <:D Catechism says, "Seven... that's odd. We usually come in threes and fives. Even the Constructicons are just two threes. Seven?"

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Pretender shells? Probably not."

<Decepticon> Collateral says, "...eh?"

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Ook?"

<Cybertron> Goldpaver says, "My EyEz ArE bLiNd To ThE pHyzIcAl WoRlD bUt NoT tO ZuFfErInG."

<Cybertron> Jetfire says, "Who is the golden warrior?"

<Cybertron> Goldpaver says, "Do YoU nOt HeAr ThEiR vOiCeZ, cHiLdReN oF cYbeRtRoN."

<Cybertron> Goldpaver says, "Do YoU tUrN a DeAf ZeNzOr To ThEiR cRiEz?"

<Cybertron> Goldpaver says, "WhAt HaZ bEeN lOzT zTiLl FuNcTiOnZ."

<Cybertron> Jetfire says, "My sensors are unable to hear them."

<Cybertron> Goldpaver says, "..fInD mIcRo..."

<Cybertron> Jetfire says, "Who is Micro?"

<Cybertron> Jetfire says, "Where can we find Micro?"

<Cybertron> Jetfire says, "please help us."

11 July 2029
<Cybertron> The LATE Goldpaver echoes, "KnOwLeDgE oF tHe GrEaT aNcIeNtZ iZ lOzT.. ..yEt ThE lIgHt ZtIlL bUrNz BrIgHt.. PrEpArE, pRePaRe.. ThE gReAtEzT qUeZt Of AlL zHaLl ZoOn BeGiN!!!"

<Decepticon> The LATE Goldpaver echoes, "KnOwLeDgE oF tHe GrEaT aNcIeNtZ iZ lOzT.. ..yEt ThE lIgHt ZtIlL bUrNz BrIgHt.. PrEpArE, pRePaRe.. ThE gReAtEzT qUeZt Of AlL zHaLl ZoOn BeGiN!!!"

<Earth> Goldpaver echoes, "KnOwLeDgE oF tHe GrEaT aNcIeNtZ iZ lOzT.. ..yEt ThE lIgHt ZtIlL bUrNz BrIgHt.. PrEpArE, pRePaRe.. ThE gReAtEzT qUeZt Of AlL zHaLl ZoOn BeGiN!!!"

<Decepticon> <:D Catechism says, "Tell me about the Room With No Doors."

<Cybertron> Dreadwind says, "There is no light there is only the cold and dark."

<Cybertron> Quickswitch says, "Sounds like a job for Nightbeat."

<Decepticon> The LATE Goldpaver says, "CoNtAiNed WitHiN tHe RoOm WiTh No DoOrZ rEzTz ThE lOzT cItY. ItZ pEoPle ZtIlL sCrEaM fOr AiD. Do YoU hEaR ThEir CrIeZ?"

<Decepticon> <:D Catechism says, "Where is this room? How can we hear them?"

<Decepticon> Dreadwind says, "There are many voices that cry inanguish in the pit."

<Decepticon> Geist says, "A chorus of screamers is my kind of music."

<Decepticon> Dreadwind says, "But you barely even saw Starscream, Geist."

<Decepticon> Blitzwing says, "What can we say, the guy's memorable."

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Real memorable."

<Decepticon> Blitzwing says, "Especially that voice, ugh."

<Decepticon> Geist says, "Stay focussed."

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Hnnh."

<Decepticon> Dreadwind says, "Focus is pointless we'll never figure it out before it is too late."

17 July 2029
<Cybertron> The LATE Goldpaver echoes, "TeN tHoUzAnD wOrLdZ tOuChEd.. ThE tRuTh WiLl Be KnoWn.. BlaCk BoOk Of PrImUz, BlAcK bOoK oF tRuTh.. zEcUr-Id DiZeNgAgE.. pRiOrITy CoDe.. GoLd.."

<Earth> Goldpaver echoes, "TeN tHoUzAnD wOrLdZ tOuChEd.. ThE tRuTh WiLl Be KnoWn.. BlaCk BoOk Of PrImUz, BlAcK bOoK oF tRuTh.. zEcUr-Id DiZeNgAgE.. pRiOrITy CoDe.. GoLd.."

<Decepticon> The LATE Goldpaver echoes, "TeN tHoUzAnD wOrLdZ tOuChEd.. ThE tRuTh WiLl Be KnoWn.. BlaCk BoOk Of PrImUz, BlAcK bOoK oF tRuTh.. zEcUr-Id DiZeNgAgE.. pRiOrITy CoDe.. GoLd.."

<Cybertron> Unicron's head continues to hurtle down as the Autobots escape, further and further and further, until it vanishes from sight. Nothing stops its descent, as the head of the once-mighty tyrant impacts with a sickening crunch onto the surface of Cybertron directly in the Magnaron Lake, sending out shockwaves and shudders, and a huge cloud of dust and debris into the air to mark its fall from heaven

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Which of these frakkin' Autobots still function.." Robotic Bald Eagle <Americon> visibly blackens from the atmospheric re-entry as super-heated air rushes around him. His legs kick out and wings squirm, but it doesn't help to free him from the wiper. Finally, after several moments of what looks like an agonizing ordeal, Americon's body is ripped away, his head still trapped under the wiper, black as coal. Americon's body tumbles far away, red-hot air still roaring all around him.

<Decepticon> Mesa says, "The Dinobot attacking Lord Megatron!"

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Megatron is handling his own, trooper!"

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Finish off Quickswitch!"

<Decepticon> Megatron says, "Don't worry about me! I have this poor beast- *crunch* -well in hand!"

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet says, "Hnh. Quickswitch is fleeing. Does that count!?"

<Decepticon> D-56 Ramjet grumbles. "..nnnrgg.. I knew I should've written out these rules.."