Galvatron Day Part 1: Auditions

Crystal City: a beacon of glorious freedom, Decepticon style: Here in Crystal City, Cybertronians are free to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, as long as it adhered to the rules and views of the Deception Empire.

The Arts District is no different. The area is full of artists hard at work furthering the glory of the Empire, while state appointed Artistic Merit Protectors drop in to make sure that that glory is being reached to its full and proper potential. In fact, as Bonecrusher makes his way down the street towards a vacant lot, a sculptor is being dragged down the sidewalk by two Seekers, while a third burns his studio to the ground. Glory to the Empire! the artists exclaim!

Bonecrusher is followed by an odd Combiner team. He comes to a halt in front of the lot, pointing dramatically. ALL RIGHT! Aristotlecons, merge to formTRAGEDUS MAJOR! The leader of the Aristotlecons, Pentametor, leaps into action, followed by the rest of his team, transforming to formA small performing arts center. Perfect for auditions for Bonecrushers production of Galvatron, Breathtaking World Breaker.

Bonecrusher walks up to the door, and hammers a big AUDITIONS HERE sign onto the door. Ouch says the guy that forms the door.

Bonecrusher stops destroying everything long enough to be a robot.

Banshee arrives with her Propellercon band - gumbies that, like her, are based on obsolete aircraft. Her bassist is a De Haviland Mosquito, her lead guitarist a P-51. Her drummer is a stoned-looking FW-190, while a femmecon violinist appears to be a Me 109. Her keyboardist, of indeterminate gender-type, is a V1 flying bomb. There's also a B-29-based doublebassist, and two femmecon vocaists who are matching Me-163 Komets.

She looks at the arts centre and nods to Bonecrusher, leaning in to her band. "Remember, zis is ze big one. Ve are performink for Galvatron himself if ve get zis one right." she tells them, grinning. "Like ze last practice run ve did, ja? Gut."

Bonecrusher gives Banshee a nod. "This show is gonna have beef! ITS GONNA HAVE SPICE!" He opens the door and heads in, gesturing for Banshee and her band to follow.

Banshee grins to Bonecrusher "It's goink to haff rock unt opera, if I get in. Mein two favourite singz."

Buzzkill transforms into her robot mode.

Buzzkill is just one of the many Decepticons bustling about in the Arts District. Currently she stands at a booth selling paintings, one hand on her hip, the other pointing a finger rudely in the booth keeper's face as she shouts. "You call this art!? This is blasphemy at best!" She grabs one of the paintings for sale on the table top, an oil painting of none other than Galvatron himself, and scowls at it. "Not only does this fail to capture Lord Galvatron's true essence but it also fails to resemble him in any way. You got his face all wrong! I'm shutting this whole operation down!"

The Insecticon reels back a hand to slap the poor guy across the face but Bonecrusher and his posse divert her attention. She watches them as they pass and then frowns to herself when the Aristotlecons transform. Who built these guys and what purpose could they possibly serve in a military setting?

"What is all this?" Buzzkill asks almost impatiently, walking up beside Banshee to stare at the 'building.'

"I was a B-29 once. Silverplated. Felt good to have that 'N' stencilled on my stabilizer." Fusillade hits on Banshee's double-bassist, peering over the edge of a railing and flashing her usual Cheshire grin. "Put a Fat Man in me any day!"

Airdrop gives Fusilade a lazy, laid-back smile. "Baby, it's no Little Boy, for sure."

Airdrop gets cuffed around the back of the head with a clang. "Stop flirting mit ze Executrix."

Perhaps to the surprise of the players, since this was only billed as an audition, a 200-foot-long giant stretch limousine (which also turns into an Energia rocket in its third mode) rolls up outside the brand new performing arts center and Galvatron steps out! The limousine transforms and offers to get the door for him. "Wait outside, Cosmosine," Galvatron growls, shooing the Special Occasion tripleformer away.

Laserbeak has arrived.

Fusillade stifles a laugh, "Welp, don wanna interrupt the preparations TOO MUCH," and flits back to the judges' gallery. "Oh, Sequined Ser-vice!" she claps and sings out. Hack and Slash fall in behind her, quite obviously bedazzled with blue rhinestones.

Sixshot stands to the side of the stage where Banshee's band is gathered. He winces, and takes another swig of his drink. He looks up at the band, back at his drink, and then finishes it.

Banshee looks over at Galvaton's arrival, recognising the limo at a glance. Cosmozine gets a not from Banshee for his dedication; that had to be a custom altmode just for Galvatron. As he gets out, Banshee goes slightly pale, as do the rest of her bands.

"No big, no big..." she mutters to the band. Her shaking, on the other hand, suggests it -is- a big deal. "Ve know we can do this song, zat last practice was perfect. We'll try unt be second so we can polish up, look at you, Flash! You haff exhaust stains on your cowling."

"But they're authentic..." the Mustang complains.

"Clean it. SCHNELL!" She drives him towards the dressing room with a riding crop. "SCHNELL!"

The rest of the band follow, just to be safe.

 Der Stukacon Banshee says, "SCHNELL!"

Laserbeak comes into view, having had to make arrangements, everything had to be perfect for the audition. It was most likely going to be the most interesting performance of the evening, and this comes from a casseticon who dreamed of being a rock-star guitar...the Turbohawk!

The vulturebot squints in thought, it was a strange dream he had that day, mid-mission. Part of him hoped that the chicanery was induced by the Quintesson's machine. Quietly he trembles at the thought of being a one-note goof-off like most of the Decepticons. To an onlooker, as he watches Galvatron, one might think the bird was antsy at the idea of some forearm perching...

Auditions begin as the gathered hopefuls find their seats in the auditorium. Bonecrusher stands on stage to address the artists present.

Ok LISTEN UP cuz Im gonna TELL YOU SOMETHING! This show is about the splendor and the gaaLORy that is Lord Galvatron, DIG IT! So heres the deal: I wanna see what you can bring to the table! I want you ta SHOW ME WHATCHA GOT! He punches a piano in falh, and takes a deep breath to collect himself. And were gonna be respectful of the artist process, dig it? The stage is a safe sanctuary to express Imperial approved love so NO HECKLERS! FIRST UP! Bloodfang!

A lone Sweep takes the stage and lights a cigarette. Ivepacked my bags He begins, dramatically.

A massive bulldozer drives on stage and crushes him. NEXT! Bonecrusher exclaims. And then he spots Galvatron. "And NEXT had better BE THE BEST THAT THERE IS cuz the Tower of Power himself has honored us, yeeeeah!"

Fusillade objects, "No heckling?!"

If Galvatron was a different sort of Decepticon warlord he might protest the distraction from the state of constant hatred and rage that lends itself to victory, like Scorponok; the waste of fuel, time and personnel resources, like Shockwave; or the ultimate pointlessness of holding a propaganda event among an already-subjugated population, like Overlord. But he's Galvatron, and he loves a parade, or a party, or a statue, or just about anything else if it's in his honor. He nods approvingly as Banshee chases the cute little matching Komets with her riding crop and Buzzkill lays down the law regarding the accuracy of his rendition in an art stand. "I already see this will be an event to strike fear into our enemies and bring joy to our subjects! Show me more, my Decepticons!"

Sixshot ambles up to another one of the temporary drink vendors in the plaza, and is handed his drink in a Galvatron's Head shaped mug. "Drinking out of his head? Has he seen...hey, this head has a lot of head...hah" he shrugs, and gulps down the foamy brew, leaving him with a sparkling mask-stache.

Psyclone, normally a science mech, completes his dance to his hilarious and timely paraody, Galva-style. No one claps. He sighs and hurries off stage.

Laserbeak 's entry into the auditions takes some time to set up. A large platform is slowly set up on the stage, its hoverjets quietly shut off, letting the platform drop upon the stage. A large tarp covers the set-up, as Laserbeak takes flight towards the display. One of the Decepticon gumbies produces the casseticon's golden stand, gesturing to the crowd with it, then sets it before the sceneset. Laserbeak perches there, his menacing eyes watching the audience as the gumby helper deactivates the energon net.

The scene is revealed! Two Autobot gumby captives are displayed, one of which tied to a steel post, the other suspended over a small smelting pot! It appears to be THAT sort of show for the Beaker. He transforms into his tape mode, slipping into a cassette player built into the stage. A slow, rather familiar patriotic Decepticon anthem starts playing, loud trumpets and glory as the smelter warms up. The gumby above it starts screaming in panic, trying to wiggle his way out of his binds!

Several moments pass by until the smelter turns a bright red, ready to dissolve even the sturdiest Bot! The bindings are cut, sending the first gumby into the lake of molten metal. The second one screams in sympathy, "NOOOOOO! You MONSTER, you damn monsters! I'm going to slag you yet, you Primus-damned bird! I'll kill you!"

The music continues playing as the first gumby horrifically dies and is smelted into nothingness. A compartment on the smelter machine opens up, revealing a few rapidly cooling ingots of metal. The Con gumby uses a set of tongs to retrieve the ingots, gesturing to the crowd, expecting applause. Meanwhile the one Bot gumby left struggles in vain against the bindings! "You...maniacs!" He cries out bitterly. The ingots are then fed into a stamping process, which quickly cuts and binds the metal that was Autobot into a familiar shape. That of a rifle. As the music reaches its climactic conclusion, the Con gumby slaps an energon clip into the rifle, takes aim, and opens fire on the Autobot, who smoulders and moans in agony. A second shot sends him to Primus. The music ends.

Galvatron doesn't really get the part of Psyclone's act about the elevator and the horses but the crowd seems to get into chanting about 'Overlord Galva-style' so that's good enough.

Galvatron also approves of torturing captive enemies. He declares loudly, "Some of our soldiers could learn from that! Be more judicious in your treatment of loyal Decepticlones, and take out your aggressions on captured enemies! A good lesson, Laserbeak. Unlike SOME presentations, yours never fail me!"

Bonecrusher watches Laserbeak's act intensely...the Beak was always pretty groundbreaking in his art classes before the war. A lot of mechs didn't remember that, and most of his performance art pieces no long existed outside of a few copies Reflector had made. Bonecrusher jots a few notes as the audience applauds. "THANK you Laserbeak, yeeeah...It's about time summa these other suckers saw some REAL ART! THAT MOVED ME FOR SERIOUS YEAH!" Bonecrusher jumps to his feet and punches a wall before collecting himself. "We'll be in touch. NEXT!"

"Mighty Galvatron." Sixshot says, up on the stage now, and standing straight. "On this day of honoring you, I give to you my solemn promise to be indispensable."

Sixshot holds his arm out to the crowd. "And how might I serve thee? Let me count the ways." he says, shifting.

Sixshot drops to the ground, twisting and folding into a massive armored tank.

"First, I shall penetrate the enemy defenses, with my laser weapons, and crush them beneath my tread!" Sixshot continues, punctuating the mention of each by wiggling his tank turret and hopping up on one tread for a moment, and coming back down with a slam.

Sixshot's form turns and folds downward into a large, low armored carrier.

"Then!" he yells, "Then I shall bolster the assault by offering myself as a weapon!" he says, as he floats in front of the audience in his space pistol form. "My shots the hellfire of DOOM that will steal the life force of our enemies in your name!"

Sixshot leaps up and backward, his wings splaying out and the rest of his form coming together into a nimble space fighter craft.

"None shall escape you on the battlefield, my lord! For in this form, I shall chase the enemy to the farthest reaches of space!" he says, gesturing with the wings of his star-fighter mode.

Dropping forward, Sixshot's head switches for that of an armored cyber wolf, his arms shifting to forelegs, and knees becoming haunches, ready to pounce and rend.

"They will be unable to hide from my keen senses, and when I find them...I will rend them in my jaws, for your glory!" the space wolf mode of Sixshot says, its face somewhat devoid of expression, despite the loud volume.

Sixshot's form turns and folds downward into a large, low armored carrier.

Shifting yet again, the one-mech army continues. "And as their dying, cowardly carcasses lie in front of me, their life energy I shall collect, and deliver to you, so that you may taste the victory it brings!"

Sixshot shifts upward and unfolds into his robot mode, twin cannons in hand.

Standing again in his robot form, Sixshot holds one arm out, palm up. "And so, Mighty Galvatron, Lord and Conqueror, may you experience these pleasures, and many more, on this day of your honor!" he finishes.

"That was terrible! These are all terrible!" Buzzkill shouts from somewhere in the audience. It's really not the performers fault, Buzzkill is just a very hard person to please, especially when it comes to these sorts of things. She rises from her seat and makes her way towards the stage, pushing and shoving Seekers and Knock Off Combaticons out of the way as she passes. When she finally reaches the stage, she takes to the center and addresses the audience with a serious expression like she's about to deliver some terrible news. "Behold!" she shouts, gesturing dramatically with both hands. "A show of true devotion to Lord Galvatron and his mighty Empire!"

Buzzkill transforms into her big ol' bee mode, now standing upon the stage on six legs, before beginning her performance which is best described as...well, as ridiculous in every sense on the word. She stomps around the stage in a figure eight pattern, buzzing her wings loudly and shaking her wide, striped abdomen all over the place in an erratic fashion. Her dance, if you can call it that, lasts for quite some time; the Insecticon apparently very caught up on her little performance. After knocking a few stage hands off the stage with her huge butt, she finally finishes and turns back to the audience, wiping an antennae with one of her legs. "Hold your applause, please."

Buzzkill transforms into a giant robotic honey bee. Bzz bzz!

Galvatron nods thoughtfully. "It could be good to show Sixshot's abilities to the Decepticon civilians. He is always impressive at an air show."

Laserbeak takes his spot up near Lord Galvatron's, but not close enough to presume arm perching. And not high enough to presume he's more majestic! In fact, he isn't really that close to Galvatron at all, but he's there, waiting... He humors himself looking over Sixshot's nonsense. He had six modes, big deal. The turbohaw---er vulturebot ruffled his cyberfeathers, he had done more for the Decepticon cause as a cassette than Sixshot did in all six modes. Idly the bird wonders....six mode Laserbeak.... He indulges the fantasy...a vulture, a cassette, maybe some sort of high speed escape rocket...and an electric guitar....No...no guitar. That was just silly.... The bird sighed to himself wistfully.

Galvatron watches Buzzkill, one hand to his chin, frowning deeply as he takes in every waggle and buzz as if it bore some terrible significance.

Robotic Honey Bee  actually spent a long time on the choreography. Each butt wiggle told a different story, each one of Galvatron's greatness. Of course, to the untrained eye (which is pretty much everyone who is not a bee) it looks like she's having some kind of seizure. Still, she takes it all very seriously.

Bonecrusher nods to himself during Sixshot's performance. "Good, good...I bet he'd be great for the role of..." And then he makes some more notes as the audition continues. He begins clapping, staring at his notepad in deep thought, when Buzzkill stands and interupts. A Seeker stands up, shaking his fist. "This doesn't even make sense! It's just Insecticon garbage! Where's Scorn with a burlesquecon routine?!" Bonecrusher glances up at the Seeker, and then over at Galvatron. That dude is probably going to die. As Buzzkill wraps up, Bonecrusher stands. "Thank you Buzzkill! That dance MADE ME WANT TO BREAK STUFF! Next: BANSHEE!"

Galvatron then looks over his shoulder, off into the distance somewhere, and yells, "Scourge! Scourge, where are you?"

The nearest sweep, who is not, as it happens, Scourge, is shoved forward by the second-nearest sweep, and snaps a salute. "My master!"

"Go to the coordinates Buzzkill has described and tell me what is there."

"The...?" The sweep is puzzled. There were coordinates? Was he not paying attention, because it just looked like an Insecticon shaking its roboass.

Galvatron backhands the unfortunate sweep across the mouth and snaps, "Retoris, subsector NH-19! You are the tracker, Scourge! Now track!"

'Scourge' exclaims, "Yes, my master! For the glory of Galvatron!" and takes off immediately.

The anachronistic Decepticons take perhaps half an hour to set up the drums and keyboard - the huge bass drum bearing a big purple Decepticon symbol, overlaid with the name 'Banshee and the Propellercons'.

She looks back at the band once they're set up, checking the sound briefly before turning to the audience. She looks at galvatron nervously a moment, before picking up an electric guitar whose body is shaped, and painted, like the Decepticon insignia and dotted with the finest amethysts and inlaid with a purple-anodized chrome scratchplate. The edges of the guitar have blades on them, Lordi-style. All of the Propellorcons have polished every rivet of their bodywork and set their Decepticon insignia with amethysts. They'r aslso wearing Kiss-style chestpieces and armour, decked out in silver and amethyst, and their faces, also Kiss-style, have been painted white with the purple Decepticon logo.

"EIN SWEI DREI!"

The band launch into what is, at first, fairly generic metal, until the double-bass, violin, keyboard, and vocals kick in. The song, in a pidgin mix of German and Standard, is a fusion of classical, Opera and old-school heavy metal with a Germanic twist.

The band describes Decepticon fliers of all kinds, from the Propellercons to the huge inter-stellar shuttles filling the skies of every world in the galaxy. With her backing singers, she describes Fusillade flying low and fast over Autobot columns dispensing clusterbombs and anti-armour weapons and launching a nuclear cruise missile up Metroplex's exhaust, Astrotrain dispensing paratroopers before dropping in to join them.

The song continues, describing almost everyone significant in a full thirty-minute assault of music. Buzzkill is mentioned fuelling the troops and poisoning Autobots for Scorn to tear apart. Sixshot is mentioned changing forms rapidly and forcing his way through Autobot foundations in five of his six modes to let Gumby hordes through, and being fired at Rodimus Prime by Galvatron's own hand.

She sings of her own assaults, screaming down from altitude, of Shockwave and Cyclonus, and finally, Lord Galvatron gets an entire five minute verse of his own that sings of him killing Optimus while he was still Megatron, breaking Unicron's control, slaying 'the betrayer' and of victories to come until the entire galaxy is under his heel and finally, there is peace. Galvatron's peace and the song is complete.

Whatever reaction the audience has, it's going to arrive after a moment of two of stunned silence at the energy and ferocity of the music.

Laserbeak considers shooting the Insecticon. It would be more entertaining at least. His autocannons track the bee bottom for several moments before misjudging Galvatron's interest in the matter. Banshee's rock opera is more interesting at least, he studies the so-called instruments of destruction the Propellorcons used. He looks away. For a moment, a single moment, regret crossed his eye before professional jealousy reared its beady yellow eyes.

.\v/.

He was mostly bitter that he wasn't mentioned...yeah that was it.

"Ahh, battle metal!" Galvatron proclaims. "The thunder of war drums! A worthy effort. Laserbeak, come here, did you record that audition? I want it included in the advertisements to our civilian population."

Galvatron holds his arm out.

Blastcap keels over with the shock, and Banshee is staggered a moment. "D-danke shohn, Mein Kommandant. I... we will be releasing an album soon, if it pleases you."

Bonecrusher leaps to his feet during the glorious display of Post Hardcore Deceptibilly and starts a one man bit that a few mechs are unfortunate enough to get caught in. Several of them don't survive. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!" He pumps his fists into the air. "Bonecrusher's REEEEEEEEEADY! TO ROCK!" He runs on stage and leaps off, transforming into a bulldozer and landing on a Sweep. He re-robots, and stands. "To those about to be Galvatron, I SALUTE YOU, YEAH!" He saltures Galvatron, completely caught up in the RAWK. "SAME SONG!" He shouts as the band stops. "SAME SONG! It was amazing! I'm gonna have to change my entire third act so that more Autobots get BEAT UP to this song!"

"See that Soundwave receives a copy for propaganda dissemination," Galvatron replies, before realizing what he said. "Not that you could prevent him from doing so, eh, Laserbeak? His ears are everywhere."

Robotic Honey Bee  just glares at the Seeker heckling her in the audience. Hopefully he never needs fuel again because she's going to make sure he never gets it again. She transforms and hops off the stage to take her place amongst the rest of the crowd and watch Banshee's performance. So far Banshee's is her favorite (mostly because some of it involved her poisoning dudes,) and when it's finished, she gives a respectful nod and a dramatic slow clap.

Buzzkill transforms into her robot mode.

Sixshot is already back at the bar, the Galvatron-headed mug having changed to a face of rage. As it's being filled, the face turns back to one of disinterest. "The more I drink, the creepier that thing is." the six-changer remarks, before he takes it with him to the seating area.

It takes a few moments for Beaker to notice Galvatron's summons. He takes flight, perching dramatically on the leader's forearm, his wings spread. This nonsense about...wait, did he record the song? It's a good thing he has such a good case of dull surprise as a poker face. Wordlessly he chirrups as the infiltrator starts trying to decide who to blame sabotage on. Perhaps Swindle again....nah he's not even here...

Bonecrusher jumps back onstage and shakes Banshee's hand as the band strikes their equipment. "That's auditions! I want to thank everyone for coming- ESPECIALLY OUR THUNDER BRINGING OVERLORD!" He points dramatically at Galvatron to keep the crowd revved up. "Keep this energy up for GALVATRON DAY! And remember: There are no small parts! Only small actors! And combiner limbs!"

Banshee clicks her heels together and salutes. "Jawohl! Laserbeak, I vill haff need of you, bitte, when we have a moment."

'Scourge' comes back eventually and comes up to Galvatron uncertainly. "My master, I searched the grid square you sent me to, but I found nothing of import, nothing active there... only this." He presents one of the delicate little solar-panel flowers that Cybertron has started extruding from some of its surface plates since being moved into a solar orbit.

Galvatron looks at the flower for several long moments, nodding gravely. "That will do, Scourge, you may go. Buzzkill!" He points at the skeptic seeker. "Slap that seeker!"

Hecklestorm's optics go wide when Galvatron orders the slap. "No! Lord Galvatron, I...!"

"Let it be an education to you: English is not the only alien language a canny Decepticon should learn to speak!" Galvatron shouts, his chin tilted up haughtily.

"As you command, my Lord," Buzzkill says, entirely too pleased to have this opportunity. She stomps right up to the Seeker and slaps him hard across the face with the back of his hand, the power behind it so strong that it actually knocks him off his feet. Damn, she's good.

Galvatron gives a short, grim nod, and hands the next-nearest sweep the flower, who stands there holding it awkwardly, not knowing what he's supposed to do with it and not wanting to ask.

Hecklestorm collapses under the might of the slap and begins groveling. "My apologies, my Lord...audience disruption is my function...I...I will medidate on what it means to be a better DEcepticon, and perhaps smelt myself."

Laserbeak warily watches his Lord. Galvatron was having one of his less...disinterested moments, and that meant there could be energon spilled momentarily. He takes Banshee's cue to take flight, first doing a lazy circle over the boss, then perches on the wall not too far away from the Propellercons. Hecklestorm was...well, he was stupid for disobeying the rules. Beaker's eyes twinkle, as he starts relaying targeting info to the bystanders about the Heckler/Seeker, all if which were to instruct them to shoot the offending Con in the face.

All of the Con's problems of disorder were to be taken care of momentarily.

Banshee sit down at the bar and looks at Laserbeak. "I think you can help us become big." she says to him. "And maybe ve can vork together on stage."

36 lasers open fire. Hecklestorm explodes.

Cosmosine thumps up to Galvatron, bending over to speak into his ear on the non-Laserbeak side. "Sir, that was the last scheduled audition. Shall I transform for transport?"

"Galvatron nods silently, and as Cosmosine flattens out into his giant limo mode, spooling out a roll of red carpet, Galvatron walks up it and climbs aboard (Laserbeak doesn't get to come along even if he was so inclined, no birds in the car). The robot/stretch SUV/Energia rolls away through the parting crowd, then lifts off and blasts away towards Polyhex.

Bonecrusher transforms and begins ushering mechs out of the theatre bulldozer style.

Laserbeak sits on the bulldozer, after scheduling an appointment with Banshee. He lives vicariously through the bulldozer's strength as he flattens any gumbies too drunk on enerhooch to get out of the way.

Bonecrusher decides to start destroying things as a bulldozer and turns into one.

Once everyone is outside, the Aristotlecons dissolve into their seperate components and collapse, looking like they just went 18 rounds with Grimlock and 14 Autobot Fusillades.

Forgetting about the Galvatron face on the mug during the performance, Sixshot drains it and then is consequently startled by its again-angry expression, falling backward out of the folding chair.

 Der Stukacon Banshee says, "Zat... vos good."

 Der Stukacon Banshee says, "Galvatron vants us to put ein album out!"