DEATH RACE

Velocitron Oilsport Racetrack

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=============[ Welcome to the OILBATH ]========================== While most of Velocitron seems bright and cheerful, this penal oval-shaped race track has seen better days and has an accompanying reinforced, bulletproof grandstand. The track is heavily stained with the life's blood, ichor, and fuel of every racing species in the galaxy, and there are numerous trapdoors built into the sidewalls and track floor. There is no obvious way out of the track for the racers or the pit crew. Shady bookies wander around offering shady deals to the multitudes of myriad aliens flocking to watch the competition, and souvenir sellers hawk pieces of the fallen racers.

-( Race Conditions )--

POSITIONS PER LAP: 20                 LAPS PER RACE:      3

ENERGON PER TURN:  8                  MAX BASE VELOCITY:  11

--

Type !racehelp for a list of commands

Type !placements for current standings

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Contents:

Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt;

Armored Locomotive

Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt;

Motormaster

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;

Oilsport Traps

Oilsport Traps

The racing pit is lined with countless trapdoors and thin ports in the walls for traps to pop out of, poke through, or capture unwary racers. Some of them are obvious, but some of them, the racers will never see coming

Armored Locomotive didn't actually do anything this time. NO REALLY STOP LAUGHING! All this interstellar back-and-forth trying to find a lost dinosaur means there's alot of stopovers. And this time, he was in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Maybe Motormaster did some crime and he got blamed for it too. Maybe they just didn't like the way he looked. Maybe some crooked cop was going to give him a parking ticket and saw an opportunity to make some cash by turning him over to the racing authorities. Either way, Astrotrain is NOT a happy camper right now. "YOU BUMS! YOU LOUSY STINKIN BUMS!" He can be heard howling at the top of his voice, even as his large locomotive form comes chugging out onto the track towards the starting positions. "I love a good demolition derby as much as the next fragger but not at the end of a gun. JUST WAIT'LL I GET OUTTA HERE, I'm gonna paste me some stupid smarmy cops!"

Motormaster shot a man in Velocitron just to watch 'im die. How was he to know the Speed Planet actually had a somewhat effective police force? They must've bought those zapper things from the Psychology Planet.

"Not the same ones who put you in, presumably," Motormaster remarks, eyeing Astrotrain skeptically from the pit.

Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; sits on the track waiting for things to get started having been offered a chance to race or spend a cycle or two behind bars. Apparently his defense of only going one way didn't sway the court, while yes he was only heading in one direction on the road it was in fact the wrong way for that lane of traffic. So now here he is lining up to get this over with and go about his business. Fully fueled he checks his tire pressure and lets his engine idle as he glances over the rest of the pack. Spotting a few fellow bots he manages to wiggle a tire in greeting.

"Frankly I don't give two hoots one way or the other." Astrotrain snarls under his breath. Under normal circumstances he'd be enjoying a chance to sideswipe some Autobots in a televised race but gosh darned it, it's the PRINCIPAL of the thing! "Just you wait, Imma gonna take the first opening I get..." He finally rumbles to a stop as he pulls up to the starting line, easily towering over the assorted other vehicular forms. "...meantime, I can see I got plenty of places to take out my frustrations!" WHOT

"But I was just here to help get supplies and carry them back because that's what I do you know I'm a courier I mean usually I coury I mean carry data but right now we need supplies more so that's what I was here for and I didn't even /mean/ to drop that whatever it was what was it anyway and isn't mandetory death matches a little /extreme/?" Blurr babbles at his usual high-talking speed. Finally, he sighs. "Well, death races are still races and races are something nobody's better than me at so how bad can it be?"

Motormaster looks back at the other car wiggling its tire in greeting. "At any rate, Astrotrain, it's a chance for us to prove our superiority," Motormaster chortles, swaggering to the starting line.

Motormaster slams his great mass to the ground, converting into a big black cabover semi.

Tracks has arrived.

The Autobots were on Racing Planet to get road supplies. Which was boring the everloving frag out of Sandstorm. So he went out to try some of these supposed superior road constructions for himself... Naturally, this meant some rather hazardous looking 'stunt driving' to do so. Apparently some cop thought he was a drunk driver, and a while later when the Wrecker had stopped by a local bar to get a drink, tried to bust him for it. Maybe it was because he had the notorious reputation of Wreckers preceding him, or maybe the cop just needed to make his quota for the solar cycle. Either way, the Law did not want to listen to 'excuses' and tried to arrest him.

The resulting bar brawl was AWESOME!... shame it all happened off-screen because the animators had to save budget for the actual race.

The sad part was, even as he was shoved out onto the track by more pit workers than it should take, he was loving every moment of it. "Finally, this mission gets -exciting-!" Once turned loose he revs his engine and pulls up to the starting line, taking a quick look up and down at the compatition as it were, spotting the two bulkier forms down the lineup.

"Ahahaha! Somehow I ain't surprised to see you two lugnuts ending up in punishment race!"

Race: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; joins the race.

Race: Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; joins the race.

Race: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; joins the race.

Race: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; joins the race.

Race: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; joins the race.

Race: Armored Locomotive joins the race.

Race: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; joins the race.

Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; protests, furious and indignant, "I wasn't impersonating an officer of the law! I just turn into this naturally! Straxus, how can you even read Italian, anyway!?" Her engine turns over loudly, rumbling irritably. At least there are some Autobots about to smash. That helps mollify her wounded pride.

Some sleazy-looking pit crew, aliens of questionable origins in grease-stained Diasy Dukes attempt to apply mode locks to the Cybertronians to keep them in whatever their racing mode is.

The announcer, who appears to be none other than reigning pit champion, Rorza the Rocket-cycle Racer from Rigel III, clad in his signature spikey purple armour. He sniffs, from behind his armoured box, "What a sorry looking bunch of fools there are today! Ah well. better get this travesty started." He pulls out the starting pistol, whips it around, and clocks his aide, who falls down in pain, clutching his head. "And they're off!"

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; sets his defense level to Neutral.

"Well of COURSE you'd wind up getting us stuffed into this glorified oilsport, Sandstorm. I was -trying- to network" Tracks rumbles from behind the starting line. As two pit crew roughly detach the boots from his rocket-assist packs, he deploys wings, several telling scuffs around his wheelwells suggesting earlier 'adventures' -- only to have a different lock clonked onto his frame. "This makes me look MATRONLY! Sandstorm, Are you paying attention to me? This entire situation -concerns- me." And then the flag goes up, and Tracks (attempts) to get up, and get out of town.

Combat: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]============================= Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level -- Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; 4   0   NEUTRAL        -- Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motor 5  0   NEUTRAL        -- +Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom 8  0   NEUTRAL        -- -&gt;Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrai 8  0   NEUTRAL        -- +Armored Locomotive           8   0   NEUTRAL        -- +Flame Decorated Blue Corvette 9  0   AGGRESSIVE     -- Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;        11  0   NEUTRAL        --

+ Racer within ramming distance -&gt; You!

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============[ Sorted by Track Position ]=========================

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps (Oilsport Traps) used "Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Armored Locomotive with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

The pit traps show their claws as the racers leave the starting line, buzzsaws swinging out, spiked pits opening up in the floor, barbed darts shooting out from the sides of the walls, and much, much more and much, much worse. Rorza yawns and asks, "When do we get to the acid? The acid's fun."

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; zooms ahead at a pace that's almost leisurely... for him. Which, of course, puts him in the lead, up until everything goes nuts, that is! "Hey hey hey stop that cut it out quit it I said /stop/!" he complains, jerking and jinking and slipping past every buzzsaw, razor thorn, and spiked pit thrown in his way. "I don't think these people are playing fair! I know fair and this isn't it this is just the /opposite/ of fair I'd say it's even /unfair/!"

Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; suffers the indignity of having a mode-lock slapped on her and Rorza's arrogant attitude. Little creep hiding up in a bulletproof box. He'll rue crossing the Decepticons, all right! The rocket-engines that Carjack accidentally made accessible in her Gallardo form pop out when the start is called, and she's off. Are those regulation? No. Will they do jetslag for catching up with some of those Autobots? No. Are they more fun than she excepted to use? Smelt yes. She looks around at where she's ended up in the pack. Blurr's way ahead - maybe she can clip him when he inevitably circles around to try to lap. The other Autobot car and Astrotrain are right near her, and Tracks is just a bit ahead. She swerves, hard, to avoid some caltrops that burst forth from a pipe, horn honking in annoyance. "Hah! This just might get interesting!"

What would be really interesting, though, she thinks is if that pretty, pretty little blue Corvette and the other Autobot suffered more than just some trap attempts. She opens up another second set of panels and pops out her machine guns, targeting one at one Autobot and one at the other.

Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; sets her defense level to Fearless.

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; puffs silvery blue diesel fumes from his stacks as he revs his engine and drops it into gear, slowly accelerating off the line. Buzzsaws and darts plink off of his armored trailer without leaving more than a scratch. He grumbles wordlessly, sounding almost disappointed. But ah, what's this? Sandstorm is coming up alongside him? Motormaster keeps it in a low gear and swerves, trying to grind Sandstorm into the wall of the track!

Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; strikes Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; with her FN Minimi 5.56mm Light Machine Guns Area attack!

Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; strikes Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; with her FN Minimi 5.56mm Light Machine Guns Area attack!

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; strikes Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; with his Sidegrinder attack! [Pulled -5]

Armored Locomotive hasn't really got anything to fear from buzzsaws or tire shredders or anything of the like. It's not like they really do any damage to him or his big metal wheels. Though they do get jammed up in his workings and slow him down in the process, as he bobs and weaves from side to side, smashing them apart under his passage as he goes by. "Razzin frazzin, stupid annoying obstacles! Those cops...them race officials. Oooogh I'm gonna crush em good!" And of course, he focuses on looking for a target to take out his frustrations on. And oh look, Tracks is right ahead of him! And even though he's already been tagged by Contrail, the big locomotive puts on a burst of acceleration, rocket boosters bringing him rumbling up behind the Autobot as he tries to oh so liesurely crunch Tracks' rear bumper with his ram prow.

As the signal to go is given Sonicboom hits the gas his tires squealing until they finally grip and he takes off down the track. Thinking it best to see what this death race has in store he tries to stick with the pack for now instead of hauling aft. Weaving back and forth to warm his tires up a bit in an effort to increase some grip. "Pedal to the metal time!" As things begin and some distance is covered he glances from side to side spotting nothing but Cons and lets out a sigh. Attention off the road he slams headfirst into a barricade that pops up in his path. Forced to a dead stop he checks his drive systems and starts backing up to free himself from the obstacle. "Figures I go and hit the first darn thing they throw at me. Head in the game Sonic! Alrighty lets roll..around this stupid wall."

Still in reverse and focus still not on what he's doing he gets peppered by gun fire and blows a rear tire. "Hey! I got your plate number, just you wait." Self-sealing his blown radial he starts to inflate so he can try to get himself some ground covered.

Combat: Armored Locomotive strikes Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; with his A wee little nudge! attack! [Pulled -5]

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt;'s Agility. (Crippled)

Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; just laughs a bit at Tracks. "Why are you acting like this is a -bad- thing? These races are -awesome-! Especially the explosions.. though exploding might not be so pleasant in the end.."

He's busy enough rambling that he almost misses the starting signal. Tires squeal and smoke fumes as he punchs the gas... and gets no where as a trap abruptly pops up -behind- him and spews out some oil under his back tires, preventing him from getting a clean start. Instead after a bit of spinout-ing he finally veers off the starting line, only to get mushed towards the wall by the larger Stunticon, sparks flying as their sides grind together. "As much as I appreciate a tight squeeze, Motohead, you really ain't my type."

But as they come up against the actual wall he abruptly hits the brakes, popping out behind Motormaster in hopes the truck will just smash himself into the wall for him.

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; with his No Wrecker Sandwhich for You! (Kick) attack!

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, "Blurr, this ain't NASCAR. Dirty racin' is what they DO in these things. Watch yer bumpers, and I don't just mean for hte cons!"

"Oh Primus buzzsaws?!" Tracks exclaims as the race track morphs into an open-air chop shop! He fishtails mightily, applying bursts from his jet packs to assist his swerving. So focused on his fancy steering work, and outright racing, that he doesn't buy into the whole demolition derby aspect.

Yet.

Contrail's well-placed bullets cause Tracks's left rear wheel to blow out, jerking him hard into Astrotrain's path. The Decepticon locomtive's cowcatcher CRUNCHES into the curvy bulge of his front quarter panel, and it's with an "Oh dear MATRIX!" that the car is flung to the side. "Should have gotten the runflats," he mutters, before wrenching up his parking brake and whipping around to accelerate head-on toward Contrail, weapons blazing.

Combat: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; strikes Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; with his PEW PEW! (Laser) attack!

Combat: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; (Tracks) used "Laser": A Level 2 RANGED attack.

Race: You have been hit by Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt;. Your movement rate will be zero next turn.

Combat: You took 9 damage.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "How can I watch my bumpers unless I have optics installed over my bumpers and I don't so I can't but don't worry they'll have to do better than that to hit me! I may not be able to be everywhere at once but I can sure be wherever they're not!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Tracks says, "So I've noticed! The carnage here is worse than a half-off sale at Macy's!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, "Figure of speech! Oi! Jetfire should of fixed that when he fixed your speed."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "... Fixed what?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr ...s much faster than everyone else ...s, of course.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, "Don't worry about it, focus on racing!"

Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]============================= Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level -- Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; 4   0   AGGRESSIVE     -- Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motor 5  0   AGGRESSIVE     -- +Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom 8  0   NEUTRAL        -- -&gt;Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrai 8  0   FEARLESS       -- +Armored Locomotive           8   0   NEUTRAL        -- +Flame Decorated Blue Corvette 9  0   AGGRESSIVE     -- Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;        2   1   NEUTRAL        --

+ Racer within ramming distance -&gt; You!

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==============[ Sorted by Leadership ]===========================

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, "You guys are faster than me, so I'm just gonna enjoy the DEMOLITION part of the race"

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; has been temporarily incapacitated.

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps (Oilsport Traps) used "Bewildering Array of Traps": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Race: You have been hit by Oilsport Traps. Your movement rate will be zero next turn.

Combat: You took 4 damage.

Combat: You can't seem to think straight...

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Armored Locomotive with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "Argh I'm hit I'm hit I'm hit I'm hit!"

Rorza wanted acid, and whatever Rorza wants, Rorza gets! Except some of this acid is more the kind that kind that causes really weird hallucinations, but there's armour-eating, acid, too, and bright lights like a disco and rope-tracks to catch up unwary wheels. Rorza hnns, "That's better. That /blue one/ didn't dodge this time. And no one dodges forever in the pits. No one."

Breakdown has arrived.

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; completes one lap, further increasing the distance between him and any persuit... that is, until, while attempting to junk around a buzzsaw, past a laser, over a pit (really, he just ignores pits and any of the tire-destroying traps - he's kind of cheating that way), and under a large pendulum, he's splashed by a glob of acid. "Ow ow ow ow I'm hit I'm hit I'm hit I'm hit!" he exclaims, swerving to try to avoid further traps. This sends him sliding directly into the track's side.

Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; no sooner fixes his rear tire and starts rolling along when the next stage of automotive assaults begins. Not even close to moving at speed he's forced to swerve to avoid a spike pit that opens only to brush up against the wall. The impact force is all that was needed to do in the tire on the other side, which was barely intact after the gunfire that shot through it. "Again?? What do you people have against tires?! I hate you all!" Back to work fixing his wheels his advance comes to a stop.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; may of gotten the better of Motormaster, but stopping leaves him wide open to get hosed by one of the chemical sprays. "Oh for the love of!" He revs and tries to get going again. "okay, this has gone from interesting to annoying..." Not one to back down from a challenge though, he actually slows a bit to try and catch sight of the traps before they catch him next time.

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; sets his defense level to Protected.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Sparks fly as Motormaster carries through Sandstorm's previous position and rebounds off of the barrier, losing speed in the process. He slows down and drives more cautiously through the traps. "This is ALREADY going worse than I would like. I think it's time... to STACK the DECK!" The rear doors of his trailer slam open and a ramp clangs down...

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; sets his defense level to Protected.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Armored Locomotive weebles and wobbles a bit to get back on course again. It's not easy when your wheels don't really turn, and you have to kind of aim yourself by locking them up tightly on one side or the other. Nonetheless he manages to get himself pointed the right direction down the track again, and with a dull *WHUD* sound, his rocket boosters ignite once more. The huge train accelerates down the track at full speed as he throws all caution to the wind!

Combat: Armored Locomotive sets his defense level to Fearless.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Armored Locomotive has 'skipped' his action for this round.

After being corralled off to the side by the pit crews, Tracks has a few panels beaten in for no good reason by the crew after they set him back upright on the track. "My aerial!" he calls out in dismay as one of the techs run off with his jaunty radio antenna. "Animals!" he spits out in a plume of blue-grey smoke as he sets back on the track. He bounces up into the air a few times in short skips and hops as the ground opens up with menacing spikes, bobbing up into the air over gobs of acid otherwise intended for his alloy wheels. "This rush hour is to DIE for!"

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Race: Breakdown joins the race.

Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; is blasted by one of Tracks's lasers, and no sooner is she trying to get back in the game than is she hit by some strange kind of dart. She can't seem to think straight at all! Contrails drives like she's drunk, and some of the audience jeer, and there are murmurs that perhaps they can toss her into the pits again for the next race on charges of drunk driving.

...and out the back of Motormaster's trailer, there appears BREAKDOWN! "I might not win the r-race," Breakdown says as he rolls out the back, and is soon pulling up alongside Motormaster. "But all I have to do is make sure you Autobots DON'T!" Then he guns his engines, trying to pull ahead of his commander and pursue any Autobots that are ahead of him on the track!

Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; sets her defense level to Protected.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, ".. Look out guys, Motor just let one of his hoodlums loose from his trailer"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, ".. Look out guys, Motor just let one of his hoodlums loose from his trailer"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sonicboom says, "What a lazy way to travel, being hauled around in a box. Not to mention boooring!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, "No kidding! At least Magnus' trailer has an open view"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sonicboom says, "Besides I'm having enough trouble avoiding the track itself without another Con to worry about."

Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]============================= Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level -- Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; 4   0   PROTECTED      -- Breakdown                    4   0   NEUTRAL        -- +Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom 8  0   NEUTRAL        -- -&gt;Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrai 8  0   PROTECTED      -- +Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motor 8  0   PROTECTED      -- Flame Decorated Blue Corvette 16 0   AGGRESSIVE     -- Armored Locomotive           19  0   FEARLESS       -- Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;        2   1   NEUTRAL        --

+ Racer within ramming distance -&gt; You!

=
==============[ Sorted by Leadership ]===========================

For now, there is an uneasy calm. The traps lay quiescent. Rorza idly shines one of his spikes, noting, "What a miserable bunch. They wouldn't last a moment in the Murder Pits of Derut Four." However, even without the track trying to kill them, what about the other racers?

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; finally gets rolling again, except that he doesn't actually roll because he doesn't have tires, and once more begins zipping along the track. He's still in the lead, he notices, but it looks like Astrotrain is coming up from behind. Uh-oh! Meanwhile, he's going to have to make it past Sandstorm and Breakdown ahead of him. Sandstorm, he's not so worried about, but Breakdown - that's another matter. He starts to slow down, moving a bit more cautiously until he can get out of the range of the Stunticon.

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; sets his defense level to Guarded.

Breakdown throws himself down to the ground, transforming into a white Lamborghini!

Armored Locomotive actually pulls out to a point that he has a brief, quiet lull in the race, Figuratively speaking of course amidst the roar of the crowd and the crunch of metal on metal in the distance, not to mention all the engine noises mixed with the steady chug chug chugging of his own form. Easing back on the figurative throttle, he settles into a more relaxed pace as his sensors pan about, probing the area for any sort of weakness or escape route. If could just transform it would be child's play to just blast off out of here and straight into space. But of course those damned authorities slapped one of those inhibitors on him earlier when he was putting up a ruckus. Nonetheless, he spots Rorza in the stands, noting how he watches the race, even if he can't hear his commentary. And quickly files away -that- information for later.

Combat: Armored Locomotive sets his defense level to Neutral.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Armored Locomotive has 'skipped' his action for this round.

White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; certainly notices Blurr coming up behind him, so he slows down a bit so he can get a better shot. "I like this race," Breakdown says, "No rules, no mercy! We Stunticons should make this planet ours! Uh... what do you think of that, Motormaster?" Even as he asks, his Plasma Blaster materializes onto his chassis, and swivels around to aim at Blurr before it fires a single blast at him!

Bumblebee has arrived.

Combat: White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; strikes Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; with his Plasma-Energy Blaster attack! [Pulled -2]

Race: Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; joins the race.

Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; is getting nowhere, but at least her vision has cleared enough that she thinks she can see and drive straight. And drive she does! She throttles the rich/lean ration on those rocket boosters, trying for some extra speed, but in these races, it's not the first one to pass the finish line who wins. It's the last one to die.

Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; sets her defense level to Fearless.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; has 'skipped' her action for this round.

Tire fixed and traps dormant for the moment Sonicboom lets out a slight 'woot' as he slams down on the gas. As tires grip he decides that perhaps taking things slow would be better for his health, of course Sonic never has been all that good at taking the safer approach when it comes to driving. Waiting until he gets up to road speed he engages his thrusters for some added boost. "Now this is what I'm talking about!" Now where luck is concerend Sonicboom tends to have only the bad kind when on the road so far so he fully expects this wild dash down the straight away to end horribly, but he does it all the same.

Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; is not having the best efforts of the race. He's already been smashed, bashed, sprayed and who knows what else. He -was- going to try and keep going to get back into the actual race. Until he sees Motormaster turn loose a dirty trick of his own... that promptly turns out and opens fire on Blurr coming up behind them. "Even if this IS dirty racing, that's downright dastardly!" Alas he's only got some small hidden weaponry in this mode, but a couple of lasers pop out of his running boards and fire back at the Stunticon. "Screw the racin', time to make this like a Mad Max flick!" ... Someone's been watching old movies with the Junkions too much.

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; sets his defense level to Neutral.

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; lays on the acceleration again as soon as Breakdown is delivered onto the track, closing in on Sonicboom from behind! This guy literally cannot catch a break- if it isn't the track itself then it's Decepticons.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; sets his defense level to Aggressive.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

As the deluge of traps subsides, Tracks certainly does take the time to focus more on driving, building up blistering speed on the straightaways, going into curves fast, and coming out of them faster. "Almost there, and that's the first lap... and... where are the exits?! We are going to have FLY out of here if we aren't reduced to car patties by the end of this!!"

Combat: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; sets his defense level to Guarded.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "Oi Moto-head. Whatever the end result of this little fun time race, make sure yer still functional and got some pep left in ya by the end of it."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "I got an idea."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Motormaster says, "They haven't even BEGUN to scratch me."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Tracks says, "So, Autobots, talk to me."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Motormaster says, "What is your plan?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sonicboom says, "Owww!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "So long as the Autobots' aim is as lousy as it is, we have nothing to worry about--wait, what's that other Lamborghini doing here? Motormaster, are you--are you going to replace me!?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "See that loudmouth talkin all smarmy on the PA about the race? Thinks he's all awesome cause he's way up in that armored booth of his?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "He hit me that stinking Stunticon /hit/ me and the worst part was I /knew/ he was there but he sprayed the plasma all over and I may be fast but I can't be /nowhere/ and since he was aiming at everywhere he hit me!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Tracks says, "Just what are we planning on doing once we are finished with this race? Because let me tell you I have NO interest in seeing what their winner's circle looks like. Could you just imagine how atrocious it must be?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Motormaster says, "No, you quivering jelly! That's Contrail. Even if I HAD thought of that, she's far from suitable technologically. Completely incompatible. Put it out of your mind and concentrate on tearing those Autobots apart!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Motormaster says, "Go on..."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "O-okay..."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "I'm thinkin once we cross the finish line we find out how well that armor stands up to a train/truck combo."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "I was just going to run for it but that was before they put the mode lock on me and now I need to get the modelock off so I guess I need to stay around for that except that our medics can probably get a mode lock off can't they I mean it shouldn't be too hard if you have arms which I don't have right now because I'm modelocked!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Motormaster says, "I agree entirely! Just a matter of crushing these Autobots first..."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "And you LITTLE fraggers can run interference for us when we...wait, Contrail?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain does a quick search through his memory, or his databanks...or just trying to recall.

Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; swears up a storm as his boosters sputter and one flares out before giving him the desired boost to send him on his merry way. Checking his systems and idiot lights he happens to glance at his rearview scanner seconds before it is reduced to scrap by the large semi slamming into his fiberglass strength frame. Upon impact parts buckle as the rear axle cracks clean in two sending his newly fixed tires sailing off in opposite directions. Sent spinning along the track, sparks accompanying him, Sonicboom can be heard mutter and cursing between the 'Ows'. Fate has dealt him a cruel hand this day it seems. Unmoving he waits for a clearing crew to come drag him to the pit area.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "Oh! I can analyze the booth for weak spots, too! It's gotta have fracture lines in it somewhere!"

A minor commotion breaks out above the track itself, three guards struggling with.. a yellow dwarf? "Unhand me, I've done nothing wrong! Unless you count breaking that lense thing, but that wasn't my fault.. I think."

Nope, looks like it's Bumblebee again. Everyone's favorite half-pint! The ruffians toss him into the pit, dusting their hands off and closing the gate. The aforementioned Autobot lands on the ground with a *HFF*, rubbing his head. All of a sudden, Autobot and Decepticon cars go racing past. "Hey, is this a race? Watch out people, here comes the Bee!!" he exclaims, transforming and speeding off in a hurry to catch up.

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; slams into Sonicboom, roaring with cold, triumphant laughter. "Breakdown, this planet IS ours! We were MADE for this sport! The natives simply don't KNOW it yet."

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Combat: Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; sets his defense level to Neutral.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, ".. Whoa, Bee outta nowhere!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Bumblebee says, "Sandstorm, what's going on? I was sitting there, minding my own bee's wax.. now I'm in some sort of death race?!?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Contrail says, "Yeah?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, "Long story short, the local law got grabby hands for competators in demolition style racing."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "Waait a minute. You're actually...why did you...carjack gave yo..."

Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS!"

============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]============================= Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level -- Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; 4   0   NEUTRAL        -- Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; 5  0   NEUTRAL        -- White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; 7  0   NEUTRAL        -- Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom 8  0   NEUTRAL        -- Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motor 12 0   AGGRESSIVE     -- -&gt;Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrai 16 0   FEARLESS       -- Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;        2   1   GUARDED        -- Flame Decorated Blue Corvette 3  1   GUARDED        -- Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrai 6  1   NEUTRAL        --

+ Racer within ramming distance -&gt; You!

=
==============[ Sorted by Leadership ]===========================

The calm was too good to last. The traps come out again in force: glass gas, zero degree molecules, vision-distorting electron packets, gyro-shaking magnetics, electric stunners, and hypnotic infrasound. Rorza yawns and comments to his aide, who has warily gotten up, "This blows. My grandma was a more brutal racer. Still miss those cookies she used to bake out of the losers, but like frak was I going to let her beat me. Y'wanna catch motorball when this is done?"

Combat: Oilsport Traps sets its defense level to Protected.

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt;'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; has been temporarily incapacitated.

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps (Oilsport Traps) used "Bewildering Array of Traps": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; has been temporarily incapacitated.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Contrail says, "...what?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "Ah, what the frag!?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sit-Com says, "Boss Hogg's Celebrity Speed Traps?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Tracks says, "So. Autobots. At the risk of damaging each other and not 'winning' at this miserable track, may I suggest trying to shoot off these hideous, dowdy transformation lock devices?"

White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; is initially pleased as hell that Sandstorm's return fire missed. "Haha, you'll have to do better than that to get the best of the Stunti--AAHHH what the!?" Breakdown's boasting is interrupted by a spray of oil across his chassis, which obscures his optical sensors (which are hidden behind his headlights, natch). Then he blindly drives past a flamethrower, which causes the oil to catch on fire. And to top it all off, he's sent spinning around the track by the magnetic traps! "WHAT THE FRAG IS GOING ON!?!"

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; knew the Stunticon was there. He /knew/ it, but with plasma fire going /everywhere/, even he is hit. He slides into the wall again, at which point first Astrotrain and then Tracks pass him. "I've been passed *I'VE* been *PASSED*?!? This is horrible this is an OUTRAGE I demand a RECOUNT this will not stand how DARE you!" the Speedster shouts angrily. "That is you people want fast you haven't /seen/ fast yet but you're going to see it now!" and then he pours on the speed.

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; drives through a cloud of glass gas, thinking it's just exhaust, but he learns too late what a danger it really poses as it eats away at his specially hardened blaster-reflective rain-defeating paint! "This track is more dangerous than the Autobots! What a wonderfully treacherous deathtrap they've built. We should build our own and force the Autobots to suffer in it for our amusement!" he muses, slowing down to maneuver away from the rest of the gas.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; sets his defense level to Protected.

Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; hadn't even made it back to the pits when the traps reengage much to the horror of the crew clearing him off the track, as an an electro-scrambler pops out and opens fire. Mistaking the slow moving rig for a racer it has little trouble reducing the tow vehicle to scrap. Unfortunately Sonicboom was on the flatbed and when the truck gets incinerated he's flung back across the track like a leaf on the wind. Bouncing and rolling parts and pieces go flying off in every direction until he hits the far wall and falls back onto the roadway. Damaged to the point of not even looking like a road vehicle of any kind he drifts in and out of consciousness stranded in the middle of a lane with no road crew willing to risk trying to drag him off.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "No no no don't /shoot/ me shoot at the Decepticons there are Decepticons here why would you shoot at an Autobot when there are Decepticons here?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, "I'm half slagged by those traps already, so don't worry 'bout me."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sonicboom says, "Uhh did I win yet?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Tracks says, "Fine, AFTER the race we shoot these horrible things off ourselves..."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Bumblebee says, "Wait, what devices? I just thought we were racing for fun."

Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; has nothing but disdain for these traps and their puny attempts to stop him. DISDAIN! Gass is all but 'snorted' out of the way as he puffs out a huge cloud of steam all around him as he thunders down the track, hypnotic infrasound drowned out by a shrill blast of his horn, and he's just too plain awesome for zero-degree molecules or other sciency gobbledygook! Or at least that's what he'd tell you. Maybe he's just really lucky, or maybe that huge armored shell of his train mode really is alot more protective than one might realize sometimes. "Boring eh? I'll give ya something boring...soon enough!" he snarls under his breath, biding his time. Soon. Soooon. Deciding that he may as well risk ALL OR NOTHING, he hits his rocket boosters once more with a deafening *BWOOOOOM!* hitting full speed as he...well, rockets down the track!

Combat: Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt;'s rocket boosters drown out the sound of those hypnotic infrasound as she motors down the track. Astrotrain seems to be having a snit over something, and she can't understand why. She got him humiliating pictures of Thunderwing! Trains are so hard to understand. She's stuck out in no man's land, with just traps to keep her company, stunner to the left, glass gas to the right, so she just keeps on going.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; has 'skipped' her action for this round.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Tracks says, "The Petit Le Mans is fun. GTS racing is fun. This. Is. Not. Fun!"

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "We were modelocked at least most of us were modelocked were you not modelocked if you weren't modelocked when this is done you can take our modelocks off the rest of us because we don't have arms right now because we're modelocks!"

Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; swerves to avoid the gass, going up on two wheels and navigating a turn all the while. Half luck, half skill.. the minibot manages to pull of the manuever without much loss to his velocity.

Is Lindsy Lohan driving him??

Combat: Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Lindsy Lohan knows no fear!

"Get with the program, honey, flying is all the rage, especially in THIS kind of pothole country!" Tracks teases the Autobot speedster very briefly, before the vortex wake of Astrotrain's tremendous mass and speed sends him barrel-rolling. He clips one of the railings, spinning hard but regaining his bearings, intent on chasing down the triplechanger.

Combat: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; sets his defense level to Aggressive.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Bumblebee says, "Whoa. Slow down Blurr, all I caught was 'Weweremodelockatleastmostofus'.  What was the rest?"

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr shouts, frustrated, "Can you transform!?"

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt;, on the other hand, is being driven by Joan Jett. Or maybe Bif Naked. He comes out of the other side of the gas cloud and starts gearing back up, smashing a camera on a boom with his cabover as he accelerates after the competition. AKA 'targets.'

&lt;Autobot&gt; Bumblebee says, "How can I win the race if I transform??"

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

"Whoa!" The dunebuggy veers to the side as a chain of gas vents open up in the ground, barely avoiding getting sprayed. "Who stole Cliffjumper's stuff?!" Veers the other way as globs of freezing stuff is flung out of ports. "Careful Bee!" He shouts to the minibot coming up behind him. "These traps don't discriminate!" And then he has to pull sharply aside as Astrotrain's rocket propelled form comes barrel past them... unfortunately one of his wheels catchs a spike and sends him spinning right into the disoriently electromagnetics. "Gaaah! Slag it.. these races are suppose to have explosions, so lets see some explosions!" As he wheels around several small spherical forms release from where they were hidden under his chassis, rolling away from him and the Autobots behind him.

The abruptly they beep loudly as little boosters fire just long enough to fling each of them towards the crazy train and stunticon in front of him.

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; strikes Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; with Proximity Mine's Small Explosion #10177 Area attack!

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt;'s Proximity Mine is destroyed!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt;'s Agility. (Crippled)

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; strikes White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; with Proximity Mine's Small Explosion #10177 Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt;'s Agility. (Crippled)

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "Well I can't win the race if I slow down and you told me to slow down and /yes/ I knw what you meant but it's really /hard/ to talk slow and drive fast and anyway we've. Been. Modelocked!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Bumblebee says, "Don't slow down, you'll lose the race too!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Tracks says, "I don't -WANT- to win this race! That's like winning 'best dressed' from peopleofwalmart.com!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Sandstorm says, "Y'know, the point of these sorts of races is more to smash your opponents than 'win'. Geez, people, watching more tv."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blurr says, "I'm /not/ slowing down I'm speeding up and you're just jealous Tracks because I'm about to pass you and you can't do anything about it!"

Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]============================= Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level -- +Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; 5  0   FEARLESS       -- White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; 7  0   NEUTRAL        -- Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom 8  0   NEUTRAL        -- Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motor 12 0   PROTECTED      -- Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; 12 0   FEARLESS       -- -&gt;Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrai 4  1   FEARLESS       -- +Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrai 6  1   FEARLESS       -- Flame Decorated Blue Corvette 10 1   AGGRESSIVE     -- Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;        13  1   FEARLESS       --

+ Racer within ramming distance -&gt; You!

=
==============[ Sorted by Leadership ]===========================

Rorza actually laughs when Sandstorm cracks out that mine, "Oh, mines! That re/mines/ me..." Turns out the track is mined, too, and there's a beeping noise as the explosives under the track arm themselves.

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps (Oilsport Traps) used "Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; with its Methods of Mayhem You Cannot Contain Area attack!

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; once more takes the lead! ... And he pays for it as explosions rock his his undercarriage, sending him spiraling into the track floor ... which causes /another/ explosion! At least this time when he hits, however, nothing else goes up in smoke. "Ow ow ow ow ow you know I'm really starting to /hate/ this place and I never thought I'd say something like that about a racing planet but I am now!" He struggles to right himself, but given the nature of the track, decides he'd best still watch his surroundings carefully... especially with Motormaster not too far behind him!

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; is suddenly enveloped in an explosion at his back end, and once more he starts to fishtail crazily from side to side, steel wheels tearing up huge grooves in the track as he goes. He just manages to right himself, when more explosions ripple along his chassis, though these ones barely do anything to him in the process, his armor soaking up the blasts with ridiculous ease. "Unfh! Well it was worth a shot..." But then he spots that Blurr didn't escape the hazards of the track unscathed either! "HAH! take that, ya little runt! I was all worked up I was almost forgettin to have a lil fun while I was at it. Speakin of which..." With that, the huge locomotive suddenly locks up all wheels in a shower of sparks, then releases the brakes on one side, causing him to VEER sharply to the right. "HEY SANDY BOY! Think I forgot about ya!? Allow me to escort ya to where poser triplechanger wannabes belong!" There's no fanciness to it. Nothing elegant, it's just straight down and out brutality as Astrotrain literally attempts to use his greater size and armored form to quite literally crush Sandstorm mercilessly against the wall of the track. This...COULD be messy.

Combat: Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; misses Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; with his Between a Train and a Hard Place attack!

Bang! A mine detonates under one of Motormaster's wheels, shredding the tire; the belted radial peels off of the wheel and is slung off to the side in big rubbery strips. But he doesn't care, he has seventeen more where that came from. He's got a better target in sight. The lead Autobot is RIGHT THERE. It's just a matter of swerving over and slamming him into a spike pit or the wall or the stands or something before he can squirt through the gap and zip away around the track again!

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; expertly evades Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt;'s attack!

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; misses Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; with his King of the Road attack!

White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; spins around and around the track, unable to see or correct his course right into the path of Sandstorm's mines, and is sent hurtling up into the air from the blasts! "You son of a glitch!" Breakdown wails at Sandstorm as he somehow manages to land on his tires. Now that the oil's all been burned and blasted away, Breakdown can see clearly again. More importantly, he can see Sandstorm, and for a moment, Breakdown considers slamming into him... but then he gets a really nasty idea once he spots Sonicboom's wreck. "Y-you like kicking people when they're down, huh, Sandstorm? Well, let's see how you like it when I do it to your BUDDY! AHHHHHH!" And Breakdown tears off right after Sonicboom, intent on smashing him into pieces!

Combat: White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; strikes Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; with his Crash attack!

Combat: Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; falls to the ground, unconscious.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "HAHAHA hennh hennnh HAHAHA SUCK IT AUTOBOTS"

"Remine? Come on now, that wasn't even clever!" Bumblebee shouts out, taking another sharp dip.. before an explosion interrupts his path to victory. "Look out Blurr, here I come!" The exhaust from the Volkswagen Beetle spits out more noxious fumes, hopefully this planet doesn't have a Al Gore counterpart. "That's right baby, maximum speed attained!"

Bumblebee accelerates to 68 MPH and counting. Look out!

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Motormaster says, "Another victory for the Stunticons! Bwa ha ha!"

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "Bah! One of these days I'm gonna enjoy seein that little blue pest get squashed into tinfoil."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Motormaster says, "If only I had ground Blurr under my wheels! Squirrelly little coward."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Contrail says, "Maybe we could have Shockwave trick him into tunnels that are really a crushing machine."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "The heck with it. He ain't what's important. I think this race is just about done soon. Alla you get ready!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "--oh right--"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "Either of you little guys can get these modelockers off us after we pay our respects, ya better do it quick. I'm probably gonna have to transform fast and get us outta here after."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "Oh, wait! Maybe m-my engine can destroy the modelock if it vibrates at the right frequency!"

Fate can be a cruel mistress and at the moment she's bludgeoning Sonicboom with a big gnarly stick. Stranded out alone in the far lane with no rear tires and the rest of his frame looking like he never had or needed tires he's planted directly above a proximity mine when it activates and detonates. Flung up he crashes back to the track just in time to get meet the front bumper of another Stunticon. Intent become action as Breakdown slams into the battered racer sending what few parts remain all about the track. With more of his body scattered about the roadway than in the bulk of the body frame Sonicboom is finally hauled off the road by a quick thinking pit worker who uses a crane to fish him off the track.

Race: Cybertronian Racer &lt;Sonicboom&gt; leaves the race.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Motormaster says, "Test that theory on the Autobots FIRST."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "But they might--well, okay!"

Tires squealing, fenders colliding, and metal rending greet Tracks's audials. "How dreadful, this is no proper race!" he objects. "Mirage would know how to have a proper race, if I could ever find him." Tracks continues to weave and sometimes leap into the air to avoid obstacles, leaning hard into the turns of the track. "We'll ALL wind up like Sonicboom if these monsters had their druthers," he murmurs, pouring on the speed just to survive!

Combat: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; cackles a bit too gleefully for someone in middle of a race'o'doom as both mines hit their marks. It'll slow the Cons down a little, hopefully, giving one of the faster 'bots a better chance.

It also got the attention of a very pissed off locomotive, which believe it or not was part of the plan.

"Come and get me!" he shouts back at Astrotrain even as the massive purple form is bearing down towards him, watching the mines starting going off on the road. Just as it looks like he's about to be hit, he punchs the gas and darts foward, swerving to INTENTIONALLY HIT one of the mines. The blast goes off, catching his rear end, and flipping the Wrecker spoiler over bumper into the air. "Yeeehah!"

And right out of the path of Astrotrain trying to squoosh him, taking the option of the weaker blast than getting crunched like a can. After the flip he hits the ground with a jarring bounce that knocks bits and pieces loose from his trashed form, smoke trailing behind him as he starts spinning again. And living up to his namesake, the smoke mixing with the sand blasted out of his exhausts as he tries to farther hinder the Decepticons and keep their attention on him.

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; strikes Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; with his Sandstorm Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt;'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; strikes White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; with his Sandstorm Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt;'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; strikes Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; with his Sandstorm Area attack!

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; (Sandstorm) used "Sandstorm": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Race: You have been hit by Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt;. Your movement rate will be zero next turn.

Combat: You took 5 damage.

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt;'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "Argh! That... bastard! I knew I should have hit him!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain snarls, "...now's yer chance. All three of us in fact."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Contrail says, "If in doubt, hit everyone at once."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "I-I can only focuse the-the effect on one Cybertronian at a time! I dunno why, it just works that way..."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Contrail says, "Might wanna have that problem looked at. I know a real good chopshop doc..."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "Then try testin it on Sandstorm. And see if ya can shake him to pieces while yer at it. Cause I'm gonna crush that fragger to dust!"

Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; gets the paint stripped right off her by the Wrecker putting the wreck back into the pits. She pops out one of her machineguns and swivels it after Sandstorm, but her headlights really took an abrading from the sand, so she is finding it rather hard to focus and see. This might not be as good an idea as she thinks it is...

Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt;'s FN Minimi 5.56mm Light Machine Guns attack on Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; goes wild!

Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; strikes herself with her FN Minimi 5.56mm Light Machine Guns attack!

Combat: You took 7 damage.

...that definitely wasn't as good an idea as Contrail was thinking, as she somehow manages to drive into her own line of fire. She's mostly bullet-proofed, but ow, those bullets sting!

Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]============================= Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level -- +Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; 5  0   FEARLESS       -- White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; 7  0   FEARLESS       -- Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motor 12 0   FEARLESS       -- Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; 18 0   FEARLESS       -- -&gt;Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrai 4  1   FEARLESS       -- +Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrai 6  1   FEARLESS       -- Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;        13  1   EVADE          -- Flame Decorated Blue Corvette 0  2   FEARLESS       --

+ Racer within ramming distance -&gt; You!

=
==============[ Sorted by Leadership ]===========================

The crowd roars in delight when Sonicboom goes down in a blaze of glory, and the bookies furiously scramble to keep up with the adjustments needed to their betting spreads. It's been way, way too long since they've seen a knockout in the pits, and make no mistakes, this crowd is starving for more or perhaps just starving for some panda on bamboo skewers with a side of benzene cotton candy. But mostly /car/nage.

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt;'s Agility. (Crippled)

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps (Oilsport Traps) used "Bewildering Array of Traps": A Level 1 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 6 damage.

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt;'s Agility. (Crippled)

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt;'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; has been temporarily incapacitated.

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; expertly evades Oilsport Traps's attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps misses Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: Oilsport Traps strikes White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; with its Bewildering Array of Traps Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt;'s Accuracy. (Blinded)

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; manages to right himself once more, deftly ducking out of the way of Motormaster. However, the quick jerking movements he has to go through to slide out of the large Decepticon's way are starting to wear him down, and he can't afford to keep spending energon at this rate! He starts to drive more cautiously, frustrated to have lost the lead.

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; sets his defense level to Protected.

White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; gets the call from Astrotrain to use his special powers on Sandstorm, and the Stunticon is all too eager to comply! Racing up towards the triple-changer, he yells, "HEY, AUTOBOT! Hold still, we're trying an EXPERIMENT!" Then, his engine begins to vibrate in its characteristic manner at a frequency that's deady to machinery of all kinds! But Breakdown has a hidden agenda--he's not just trying to hurt Sandstorm, he's trying to destroy the modelock keeping him in car mode. "OKAY! Now try to transform! No, really, try it! Heheh!"

White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; then has a fresh heap of flaming oil splattered on him. "ARGH!"

On the other hand, Breakdown couldn't see anyway, so the flaming oil is a moot point

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "This track, this fragger in the booth and EVERYTHIN about this place is really startin to TICK ME OFF!"

Combat: White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; strikes Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; with his Breakdown Shakedown attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; falls to the ground, unconscious.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "What the--oh, for--ARGH! Now we won't know if it works or not!"

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; swerves back the other way, bearing down on Blurr from behind. He's not as fast as he has been though; trying to make all these turns to avoid the worst of the traps is slowing him down a great deal. Even with his efforts he still drives over a pit trap and loses another tire. "Good, Breakdown, good! Keep doing that!"

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; sets his defense level to Guarded.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Contrail says, "I have to say, it's funny that Breakdown didn't /want/ to knock out an Autobot, and also, he's got the most kills this mission so far."

Combat: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; misses Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; with his Getting His Swerrrve On attack! [Pulled -6]

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "Hey, I just figured I could shoot him down after he turned into a helicoptor or something!"

The searing hot oil splatters the VW Bug, getting into all his inner workings and preventing his tires from making any sort of traction with the ground. "Whoops, shoulda brought out the studded tires.. WHOA!" Swirling around in a couple circles, Bumblebee spins out.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

The lighting, walls, and track begin to blend into one another as Tracks goes the distance. He races, paces, and plots the course. As the roar from the crowd reupts from each fiery elimination, Tracks murmurs, "Well perhaps I can get to like these people after all!" That, however, was too hastily spoken, because a set of punjee sticks snap up in place to shred his tires. "NOT AGAIN!" His beautiful wedge-shaped prow of a front fender bucks down and hard to the left, before clipping the masticated pavement and pitching him end over end. The flip lands him on his roof, sparks and metallic blue sapphire paint chips flying before he comes to a rest at the race starting line.

"Oh me oh my, I think it's time to get Simonized..."

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; by this point isn't even trying to avoid the traps, he's just too battered to care. He's done what he could to slow the Decepticons down after all, so now it was just waiting for the big finale.

"Aaaaugh!" There's sparks flying from somewhere on his rear section where the modelock device gets fried... not that it matters when the rest of the Wrecker gets fried along with it. Loosing total control of his steering functions, Sandstorm wipes out rather specatuclarly, sure to please any cosmic rednecks up in the stands as he sheds pieces all over the track as he spins and tumblesd, and finally hits the ground so hard it knocks him out of his now unlocked transformation.

Only to slam right into the wall in robot mode, face to the reinforced structure with a metal jarring CRUNCH.

"*grooan* ... Now -that- was a -rush-..."

And then the section of wall he slammed into falls down, leaving a Sandstorm shaped hole in the standing piece. Alas, he's unlocked but out of the race. And out like a light.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "Oh, wait! Sandstorm's in robot mode! It works! Okay, uh, this is gonna hurt a little, Astrotrain...."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "Save it till after we introduce ourselves to the announcer."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Breakdown says, "Oh, right!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "Almost there..."

The audience cheers and waves their cotton candy around as Sandstorm bites the asphalt! Motormaster's failure to connect with Blurr, on the other hand, draws jeers and a hail of empty bamboo skewers.

Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; figures it's do or die time right now anyway. He's already starting to swerve towards Sandstorm...but Breakdown beats him to it and puts the Autobot out of action! He's a bit disappointed that he didn't get to crunch the other triplechanger himself, but he'll take some satisfaction in seeing him go down all the same. "YEAH! That's what ya get ya sorry fragger!" He then takes note that it looks like an Autobot has indeed crossed the finish line, and emits a thick gout of smoke from his stack in irritation. "Bah! Well the fun and games ain't over QUITE yet..." he growls, shifting 'gears' if you will and suddenly slowing down dramatically a moment later. Has he given up the race altogether? Or is something else going on?

Combat: Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; sets his defense level to Protected.

Race: Armored Dunebuggy &lt;Sandstorm&gt; leaves the race.

With a lightning fast flip and twist, Sandstorm lands in his robot mode, ready for action.

Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; is stuck in no man's land again, and just when she starts to get driving again, some backward-pointed prongs pop out of the pit floor and skewer her tyres. "Motherboard fragger!" she curses, because that seriously hurts! Contrail is so vexed that she can't even enjoy the Wrecker getting wrecked. It's a sad time for her.

Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; sets her defense level to Protected.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; has 'skipped' her action for this round.

Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]============================= Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level -- White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; 7   0   FEARLESS       -- Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motor 12 0   GUARDED        -- Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; 18 0   FEARLESS       -- -&gt;Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrai 4  1   PROTECTED      -- +Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrai 6  1   PROTECTED      -- Flame Decorated Blue Corvette 0  2   FEARLESS       -- Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;        1   2   PROTECTED      --

+ Racer within ramming distance -&gt; You!

=
==============[ Sorted by Leadership ]===========================

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Astrotrain says, "Show time! Here we go."

Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt;'s wreckage is an inch away from the check-mark line painted with hydraulic fluid and antifreeze.

The audience is utterly delighted when Sandstorm, who has brought so much beautiful agony to the arena, goes down himself. He won't be around to maim the competitors, but a crash is a crash, and they'll take it. Rorza looks rather disbelieving, however, when the so-comely (though not-so-comely at the moment) Corvette crosses the finish line. Rorza protests, "What? That blue ninny? That can't be! C'mon, tell me that big brutal truck won." His aide gets another pistol-whipping for this indignity, and Rorza storms out from his box to go down to the winner's circle, where the crews will be trying to drag Blurr. What awaits Blurr there? But with Rorza pre-occupied, the tracks fall silent without him to randomly mash buttons.

Sadly, while Motormaster is most of the way around the track, he is most of the way around the FIRST LAP of the track. He opens it up and starts gearing back up in pursuit of Bumblebee, too focussed on crushing to have noticed that Tracks actually won already.

Or Blurr. Or both!

Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; almost leisurely rumbles along the track now, like he's actually not really in any hurry to go anywhere afterall. Even though technically speaking he's the only one in position to try and go for third place...or is that second? Or is that....ahhh forget about it! No, Astrotrain has something -else- on his mind, as he completely veers off the track altogether. A few pit crew scramble to get out of his way as his big metal wheels start to dig into dirt instead of asphalt...kicking up large gouts in his wake as he suddenly starts to pick up speed. Rorza is JUST in the process of being about to exit his box, down on ground level, when the Decepticon triplechanger demonstrates that he has decided to change the rules. "Ya wanna know the funny part?" Astrotrain snarls, his voice barely heard above the sudden screaming velocity of his rockets on full blast, the ground rumbling like an earthquake under multiple tons of runaway freight train. "We probably woulda VOLUNTEERED to take part in yer little games, but nooo ya had to get pushy and uppity. TIME TO PAY THE PIPER YA LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!" Either way, with Rorza in his path between him and the armored booth, Astrotrain's huge frame barrels in like the enormous missile it is right before the whole world seems to explode around him as he truly puts to the 'test' as to how solid these aliens think their constructions REALLY are. Not to mention the aliens themselves.

Combat: Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Race: Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; leaves the race.

Combat: Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; strikes Oilsport Traps with his Train Crossing attack!

Sandstorm is meanwhile dragged off to do whatever it is they do with the wrecks. Or wrecked Wreckers in this case

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; would transform and cheer except he's /still/ modelocked! Then the pit crew start ragging him to the winner's circle. "Hey hey hey no pushing stop with the shoving I got acid there ouch that /hurts/ calm down calm down I can make it there myself you know it's not like I've got busted tires to worry about or anything!" He doesn't entirely /trust/ whatever his 'prize' might be, but he's far too confident in his ability to /run away real fast/ to let his good sense keep him from satisfying his curiosity.

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; sets his defense level to Guarded.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

"Breakdown! ATTEND me!" bellows Motormaster, clearly not wanting to miss out because of the modelock clamped onto him.

Race: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; leaves the race.

Meanwhile, Breakdown is dutifully following behind Astrotrain, waiting for the right moment to destroy the modelock. It's not like Astrotrain needs to signal him or anything--the destruction and chaos the triple-changer unleashes on impact is enough of a cue for him. "OKAY! Here we go, Astrotrain! Get us the f-frag off this planet--so we can come back next time on OUR OWN terms! Haha, I can't wait!" And his engine begins to vibrate at a special disruptive frequency, its debillitating effects sweeping over Astrotrain, hopefully destroying his mode lock without causing too much damage to the triple-changer!

Combat: White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; strikes Armored Locomotive &lt;Astrotrain&gt; with his Breakdown Shakedown attack! [Pulled -2]

Race: White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; leaves the race.

Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; still has a modelock on her because Breakdown is busy with the others. She considers her options. Just keep driving through acid pits, electrified plates, and flying spikes? Sure, why not? Sounds like fun.

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; has 'skipped' her action for this round.

Race: The racers speed around the track, and the scoreboard lights up with the new race standings...

Race: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; crosses the finish line!

============================[ Racetrack Attack! ]============================= Racer                         Pos Lap Defense-Level -- Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motor 17  0   GUARDED        -- Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; 5  1   FEARLESS       -- -&gt;Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrai 8  1   PROTECTED      -- +Flame Decorated Blue Corvette 10 2   FEARLESS       --

+ Racer within ramming distance -&gt; You!

=
==============[ Sorted by Leadership ]===========================

"Hooray, Blurr!" Tracks's voice purrs out as he watches the other Autobot get led to the winner's(?) circle. Perhaps a suspiciously intentional loss? Regardless of the Corvette's intent, he does motor over behind Blurr to keep a cracked headlight on the speedster. "I wonder what fabulous things they could possibly have in store for you," oozes out sarcastically from his vocalizer.

Race: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; leaves the race.

Rorza is about to introduce Blurr, and oh, that other insufferable blue dandy, Tracks, to the horrors of the winners circle in the finest of Velocitronian oilsport racing, when suddenly, there is something very unexpected in his life: a train. His spiky purple armour saves him from certain death, but he still suffers a crushed ribcage, and that'll probably put him in the hospital for months, if he can't find a street doc hack to just put in new ribs, that is! Screaming pain and bloody murders in every language spoken on Velocitron, some of the Daisy Duked grease monkeys rush to Rorza's side and try to shove Astrotrain away so they can drag Rorza off for a visit to the doc, but that might be easier said than done.

Race: Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; leaves the race.

Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; takes another swift turn and bears down the home stretch, following closely behind Contrail. Catching Motormaster in his rear view mirror, ole Hornhead pratically freaks out. "Holy cannoli!! Motomouth is right behind me, and I'm at max speed!" The Autobot hits the red button, yes.. the red button, and flames shoot out from his backend.

"Time for some Tokyo Drift!"

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; is dragged into the winner's circle, and then Rorza is run over. He would shrug if he had shoulders, so instead he starts to spin around, muttering, "So how do we get out of this place, anyway?"

Having built up speed on the straightaway while chasing Bumblebee, Motormaster gives up on the speedy little bug and swerves to the inside as he approaches the turn, then turns hard to the outside! Tires smoking, he lines his grill up with the wall head-on, and with a tremendous crashing and crumbling he blows through the retaining wall, through the inner guard wall, through a section of stands and disappears from view amid screams and fire.

"Because I mean I'd really like to get out of here this has been fun and all but I've got supplies to get and I can't get supplies if I have a mode lock on me because I don't have arms to pick them up so if you guys could take this lock off of me that'd be great and then I'll just be out of your way... okay?"

One of the greasemonkey girls of the pits giggles at Blurr and titters, "Oh honey, didn't they tell you? Winning just means you come back for the next race! The only way you're getting out of here is on a gurney like those boys." She points over at Sonicboom and Sandstorm.

White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; yells, after he pursues Motormaster down the tunnel of vehicular destruction, "YEAH! There's only one guy who gets to tell the Decepticons what to do, and you Velocit--uh, Velociraptors aren't him!" Quietly, he mutters, "Are they Velociraptors? Is that what they call themselves?... Uh, well... anyway..." He continues to pursue Motormaster for a second or so when he realizes Astrotrain isn't following them. Soon afterwards, he's backing out of Motormaster's tunnel in reverse, back out onto the track. "Frag me!" he curses, and speeds forward into Astotrain's open bay.

"What what /what/?" Blurr exclaims. The Decepticons are getting away, while the Autobots are stuck there, and while he could get out, that would leave Bumblebee and... Tracks can fly. Just Bumblebee behind. "That's it that's it I've had enough of this place and it's stupid laws and it's stupid death sentences for dropping a stupid figurine and we are /out/ of here!" With that, he drives... directly for Tracks? At the last moment, he swerves to the side and starts driving in tight circles around the other Autobot, doing donuts. He keeps going faster and faster, exceeding sound, and still he doesn't slow, pushing towards light. He attempts to set up a vortex to pull the modelock off of Tracks - should he succeed, he shouts, "Grab Bumblebee and go I'll get out out on my own it'll be easy and then once we're all out you can get this modelock off me and we can grab Sandstorm and Sonicboom and get /off/ this crazy planet and who'd think a people that valued speed would have their priorities so backwards huh?"

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt; strikes Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; with his Grab attack!

Kenworth K100 Aerodyne &lt;Motormaster&gt; explodes back onto the track from the food court, grill smeared with blood, mustard and other fluid. He puts the clutch in and powerslides through a hard turn to line up with Astrotrain, accelerating to match speed. "Don't lag behind, Breakdown!" bellows Motormaster as he rumbles up Astrotrain's ramp.

Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; exclaims, "The grease monkeys were right. You can NEVER leave the race!"

Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; cuts off the track and follows after Motormaster, gunning it and heading for Astrotrain's ramp. She calls out at the Autobots, "Hah, hah, have a good time in the body shop, suckers!"

Race: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; leaves the race.

Combat: Lamborghini Gallardo &lt;Contrail&gt; begins retreating, leaving herself vulnerable to parting shots from Blue Hovercar &lt;Blurr&gt;, Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt;, and Decepticon Shuttle &lt;Astrotrain&gt;

"Stop, whyever for? I'm about to get bronze baby.. no one's stopping this bee!" Bumblebee shouts happily, still believing that Motormaster is hot on his tail. When Contrail pulls off the track, the delightfully upbeat minibot pratically explodes with positivity. "Woweeee, third is mine!!"

The Global Pose Tracker marks that Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; has 'skipped' his action for this round.

White Lamborghini &lt;Breakdown&gt; yells back, "I... I wasn't lagging behind! I just wasn't sure what you were doing! And anyway, I got in there first..." He mumbles that last bit, as if he doesn't really want Motormaster to hear it.

Decepticon Shuttle &lt;Astrotrain&gt; waits until the last Decepticon is on board, before his ramp lifts back up and locks into place. With his cargo aboard, he simply "punches it" putting every bit of power into his boosters. Usually he likes to get up to speed in train mode first, but the locals were so nice to provide a nice stretch of racetrack that he could use as a makeshift runway. Blazing a path into the sky, the triplechanger is soon rocketing straight up and out into space, heedless of the local orbital traffic. Or rather, uncaring of their fate if they happen to get in his way, that is.

Combat: Decepticon Shuttle &lt;Astrotrain&gt; begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

The bolts weakened by Track's impromptu makeover give way under Blurr's improvised trick. "Understood!" He transforms into robot mode experimentally, before plunging back to the ground in his car mode. "I'll say, that bronze actually coordinates quite well with your yellow. Now, grab on, this is one after-party we don't want to join!"

Combat: Flame Decorated Blue Corvette ZR1 &lt;Tracks&gt; misses Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; with his Grab attack!

Volkswagen Beetle &lt;Bumblebee&gt; transforms and latches on, "FINE." he admits defeat and looks sour for the rest of the ride home.

"But you totally owe me a bronze medal!"

The VW Bug shifts, revealing Bumblebee's robot mode. Isn't he adorable?

Results

Gold: Blurr

Silver: Tracks

Bronze: Bumblebee

Also