Swimming with the Sharks

Summary: Blitzwing returns from a long absence, and finds himself at the mercy of the vicious wit of two scorned fliers.

Sky above New Crystal City ''The air above the island is rough and turbulent, but it does little to hide what lies below. Instead of the rocky islands typical of this region of the Pacific, there is a tall silver volcano overlooking what looks like the frosty blue, skeletal bones of an enormous metallic fish, including ribs, a "skull", and a massive mouth rimmed by huge, jagged metal teeth. It looks large enough to fit even a cityformer between its ribs.''

Decepticon Fighter [Blitzwing] cruises around the area. "Hnh. Lot of new faces around here!" You shouldn't be able to hear him while flying through the air and all, but what can he say Blitzwing's just loud.

Just after midnight, and the blaze of afterburners from Decepticon patrols decorates the airspace above the silvery sheen of New Crystal City. Climbing near vertical, Fusillade enjoys the sensation of flight, even as she begins to mull over a few operations that she can send Military Operations out on.... and then the bellow echoes. On shortwave radio, the bomber pings back, Good evening. And, new, sir?

Decepticon Fighter [Blitzwing] booms out loudly, "Yeah, NEW!! As in, people one is not familiar with. Or people who haven't DONE anything that makes them stand out enough for people to recognize them." He must be really shouting to make himself heard but maybe he doesn't think there's anything unusual about it (or maybe he doesn't even realize that's he's bellowing at the top of his voice). "Uhh...not you Fusillade, I'm talking about the OTHER faces!!"

B-1B Lancer flicks nose canards once, bobbing in the air as she sizes up the Mig-25 Foxbat. Are... you in need of medical attention, sir? And I don't think that there are any faces to be seen at the moment, most are in their aircraft modes. He certainly did seem a tad out of sorts... mischief starts brewing in the Lancer's motherboards.

F-35B [Catechism] flies into the area, not going too fast. She's just coasting, really. Maybe she's back off a patrol. Despite seeing the gathering, she doesn't transform. After all, the only jets who are in this airspace are either Decepticons or soon to be dead. It should be obvious what she is.

Decepticon Fighter [Blitzwing] keeps on shouting. "Medical attention? What's that, some kind of joke?! WELL I'M FINE!!" Despite the screaming and the words he doesn't seem angry or anything. "Well I know you, but who're these other two?! I don't recognize THEM! Not that I know every single Decepticon in the ranks these days..."

F-35B [Catechism] sort of... sidles up to Blitzwing. She's a very aerobatic aircraft, by nature and training, and she's even had her wings tinkered with so that flying upside down is easier for her. So, in a trice, she's flying uncomfortably close in Blitzwing's airspace. The Lightning II almost coos, although there's a bit of an edge to her voice, "Have you forgotten me, Blitzwing? I didn't think I was that ugly, now."

B-1B Lancer nearly STALLS as she hears Blitzwing's words. SIR?! The bomber noses up slightly, before she transformers, wingblades flaring out about her hips as she tilts her head to the side, casting an incredulous glance at Catechism as she cruises by. Sputtering out, she objects, this time aloud and not in radio, "What do you mean? How? You two were... I... you guys... OH, I get it. Scorched earth, hmm? Catechism, I'm sorry. Do I need to get the two of you some drinks?"

The sleek bomber rears up, wings collapsing onto hips even as the rear fuselage splits to form arms. The horizontal stabilizer slides up, the forward fuselage folds up accordian style, and Fusillade hops up on thrustered feet.

[Decepticon] Arachnae says, "Has anyone by any chance seen my quad-ion defibrillator?"

[Decepticon] Catechism says, "What does it look like, sir?"

[Decepticon] Fusillade says, "No. But if you find it, please come to the airspace above New Crystal City. I think my Commanding Officer needs a jump."

[Decepticon] Arachnae says, "Uh, like a defribrillator?"

[Decepticon] Arachnae says, "Pointy part, handle, rope cords and a power pack?"

[Decepticon] Geist says, "Pray that Brigand didn't swipe it for another of his shady deals, wingsib."

[Decepticon] Arachnae says, "Well.. Huh.. And who needs a jump, Fusillade?"

You transmit a message to Arachnae: Blitzwing's acting all weird.

Transmission from Arachnae: Define weird?

Decepticon Fighter [Blitzwing] pulls up and transforms as well. "Wait...Catechism?! Okay, so THAT'S not a new face either!! Well, I've been a little OUT OF TOUCH lately! So you'll FORGIVE me if I seemed a little DISORIENTED." Blitzwing's voice becomes about as neutral as it gets for him, for once it's hard to tell what exactly he's feeling. "So what's new, Catechism?"

Blitzwing transforms into a brutal robot!

You transmit a message to Arachnae: Like... not recognizing people. And not being a jerk. He's loud, so that's normal. And... I don't think he realizes... it's... hard to convey.

Transmission from Arachnae: One too many punches to the face, perhaps? Would you like me to come run a scan?

You transmit a message to Arachnae: Uh... yeah. He has been missing for a while, too. Wouldn't want him to be compromised.

Transmission from Arachnae: Very good point.

[F-35B [Catechism] transforms. She is a cool grey coneheaded Seeker. She looks quite a bit like Dirge, except her choice of weaponry is a bit different, and her lowers are... almost maimed, really. One is cobalt blue and oddly shaped. The other lower arm is black and skeletal, bearing a hand of segmented blades. It's a little grotesque, really. She shimmies back, hovering near Fusillade. Catechism says calmly, as if discussing the weather, "Well, I assisted the commission of xenocide. You?"

F-35, Marine Corps variant, transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her shoulders to expose her face, and her wings rotate into position.

Fusillade's expression goes slack, and she fixes saffron gaze upon Catechism in some disbelief, mouthing the words 'cuckoo' to the other grey female flier as they hover on antigravs. Despite that, she flashes a jaunty fanged grin, and juts out one elbow in offering to Catechism, murmuring, "Those are some wicked changes you've had lately. Going to get your color scheme coordinated once this set is done? The blue's a bit overpowering, I think." Despite the whisperings, she twists back around to regard Blitzwing curiously, after sending a query to Medical.

Starfighter (Sixshot) comes roaring down from the upper atmosphere, cutting his retros in to slow down. As he notices the gathering, he arrests his fall all the quicker...halting in mid-air in a jarring fashion that would be liable to ricket lesser shuttles apart...and drenching the area in the sudden dry heat of re-entry.

Blitzwing bursts out laughing. "Xenocide?! Now that's a new one!! I like it! HAHAHA! Now I'm gonna have to go find a few lower species to wipe out, just so I can start saying that! 'What've I been up to? XENOCIDE!!'" He looks at Fusillade. "How about you? You have any part in that?"

Arachnae drifts up from Mt. R'lyeh, an openly curious expression on her face, wings in neat arrangement behind her. In one hand there is clutched the simplest of things, a medical scanner. In the other there is nothing. Save for the errant splatters of paint on a shin and some grime across a shouler and forearm, she looks rather pleased with the universe as a whole. Optics brighten as she studies the skies before drifting like a leaf on the wind in the general direction of Fusillade and co.

Catechism hooks an arm around the offered elbow - her more normal arm. Not the bladed, skeletal one. She nods, grimly, but a smile tugs at her face. Catechism explains, "Oh, Fusillade was very useful! She just couldn't make it for the grand finale. I think I'd call these a lesser species, either." She flexes her talons. "These claws of mine? Oh, useless against them, really. They bled acid."

Transmission from Catechism: Poor Blitzwing. I knew him well. Clearly, the only merciful thing is to get him out of his position and into a less taxing career. It's the kind thing to do, don't you think? Less stressful on the boy.

Fusillade ehns a bit as she listens to Blitzwing. "Well I tried, before a Sweep squealed on me. I think they just didn't want to be beaten to the punch. Then there was that time Galvatron let you and I MASH the ignite button on that engine to drive the asteroid into Torqulon. Not much really between then and now. I'm more inclined to strike military targets, you know how I am. Nailed a few hangars' worth of EDC armor suits in Alameda, now that was fun. I've actually gotten a few techniques down where the explosions actually make this rosette pattern..." She rambles a bit, before the sonic boom from the starship pulls her attention upward. "Napalm," she remarks absently to Catechism by way of recommendation, as she twitters a bit at the arm-draping. The purply blot of Arachnae causes her to brighten, and she remarks, leaning in close to Catechism, "There we go, we'll have him set right soon enough."

Blitzwing shoots Fusillade a glare. "You know I can HEAR you, right?! And I told you, there's NOTHING wrong with me!" he taps his head lightly. "You take too many blows to the head, and see if YOUR memory unit doesn't develop a few blips!!" He seems to think the matter is closed, and takes a look at some of the latest arrivals. "Now THESE guys I recognize."

Starfighter (Sixshot) slowly moves towards the group, "Fusillade, Catechism... Blitzwing... Sweep."

Arachnae levels off, inclining her head politly to Fusillade and Catechism before fixing her gaze on Blitzwing. "Well, hello there, Blitzwing. What seems to be the.." Lifting of a brow, steely look to Sixshot before she finishes, "problem here?"

Catechism hangs off Fusillade's arm, like a crayon angel on Christmas tree. She glees, "Oh, I love the smell of napalm in the morning!" She waves to Sixshot, her claws swishing through the air. Catechism pipes up, "The stress of the position has gone to Blitzwing's head, sir. Perhaps he needs some medical leave?"

Starfighter (Sixshot) hovers...before deciding to transform to a somewhat more...conversation oriented shape. As his form shifts, he comments quietly, "I just arrived. I chose to stay as Fusillade and Catechism usually do somewhat interesting things."

With relish, Sixshot's body transforms into the bestial form of a turbo-wolf.

Fusillade juts out a hip slightly at Bltizwing's words, "Well of COURSE you can. That's half the point." At Catechism's words, the bomber purrs out as she cozies closer, "Smells like... victory. And that's actually a rather good point, I know I wanted to pull my own circuits out from time to time when I was dealing with the position." She simpers in Arachnae's direction, letting Blitzwing's actions speak for themselves. After that, she returns her attention to the puppy. "OH, that reminds me. Give it BACK."

Arachnae hnns, ticking a talon on her hip, "Well, why don't you and I take a trip to medical" the way she says medical, it's like ages of contained diabolic glee waited until that moment to come out and play. "and get a good scan on you."

Blitzwing mimics Arachnae, "'Why don't we take a trip to medical?'" He goes back to his normal voice, "Why don't we take a trip to medical? I'll tell you why, because the day I let a psycho like you near me with a medical tool, THAT'S when we'll know the stress is gettin to me! I've said it once and I'll say it again, there's NOTHING wrong with me!" He chops a hand through the air to emphasize the last point. "And even if I was stressed, I know a perfect way to work off some steam" He reaches behind his back and pulls out a large, brutal looking sword. "So if any of you wants to be 'volunteered' to help me work off some stress, keep talking!" He turns his glare on each Decepticon (except maybe Sixshot) while he says this last part.

Fusillade's grip on Catechism's arm tightens considerable as she tries to stifle a snicker at the outburst from Blitzwing. Oh, she knew what resisting examination would get most Decepticons... she waits, and watches, morbid glee etched on her features.

Winged Turbo-Wolf (Sixshot) watches Blitzwing, hovering slowly in midair, "...Blitzwing, making threats and brandishing weapons does not go a long way towards proving sanity. Proving leadership potential, possibly."

Arachnae blinks as a look of astonishment lightens her features, "I've graduated to a psycho? Why wasn't I informed?" mild tone, amused even. Her wings flick behind her anbd pause, half open'd. "Now now, Blitzwing. You and I both know that the last time we tango'd.." Optics slit, "What did happen, or do you not remember?" The scanner in her hand is thumbed on, emiting a series of short chirps.

Catechism looks to Blitzwing, optics blinking. She flexes her talons, and reminds, "Blitzwing, the last time we fought, I ran you out of energon and then kicked you unconscious. Now, if getting your skidplate handed to you is a stress-reliever, I think I see why Bumblebee's so fragging happy." The Seeker smiles, almost friendly.

Blitzwing looks around at the other Decepticons facing him, seemingly at a loss since his bravado isn't having the desired affect. He puts away the sword, straining his mind to come up with a new tactic. But fefore he can have any revelation he gets distracted by chirping scanner. "Of course I remember. Hmph. I forget a few names and everybody thinks I've got complete memory loss or something. I remember all right...I remember every (lucky) shot. Like I said, I was a little disoriented, but I'll be back up to speed in no time at all."

Transmission from Catechism: Buy you a drink if you agree with me when I tell him that the destruction of leprechauns is our most pressing military objective.

You transmit a message to Catechism: You're so on.

Catechism gets bored with Blitzwing. She decides to get down to business. She looks up at Fusillade and comments, "So, how are you plans for the utter annihilation of leprechauns going? I've already put in requests for metal detectors to locate their stashes of gold." She pauses and glances back to Blitzwing, "You are aware of that objective, correct?"

Arachnae lifts the scanner, giving Blitzwing a merry smirk, "Well, since you're not going to come visit me in medical, I'll just do this here." The scanner beep-clicks. "Although, getting hit in the cranium can cause systemic glitches in certain processing units.." trailing off a moment absently, "I keep adding to my reports that it is not wise to put any large amount of neural processing into such an ill-armored position but nobody listens, hrmph... In any case, it is protocol for anyone returning from an abscence especially those holding positions of command to have a full evaluation."

Fusillade hnns at bit at Catechism's query. "Well, pinpointing their caches has been problematic," she concedes. "The malleability of gold and its ability to conduct heat and electricity, as well as the raw iron from their storage kettles, are both commodities worth pursuing. Blitzwing, I recomment that we assign patrols to more closely monitor thunderstorms, since that is where the rainbow portals are most likely to appear." Her alto tone is deadly urgent. "In addition to the detectors, I think that we should use oil slicks as markers for investigation. They do look like dead rainbows, after all." Her expression is carefully schooled, and she dares not look at Catechism.

Blitzwing eyes Catechism and Fusillad. His mind - while not the quickest or most powerful in the Decepticon army - is finally starting to catch up to the conversation. "No...no, I don't remember that operation. At all. How careless of me. Maybe you'd like to help me by explaining this operation to me. No..." his mouth twist into an expression that's half sneer and half smirk. "Actually, I'd like for you two" he gestures at Catechism and Fusillade" You two to enter reports on this operation, on the objectives and challenges, so that all Decepticons can see your clear understanding of the issue. Consider that an order."

Catechism rolls with the punches and spies an opening. She asks, "Sir, would you also like to transfer us command of the mission against the moon dragons? Soundwave suspects that the mother moon dragon may lash out at New Crystal City as revenge."

"Very well, by your command," Fusillade responds smoothly to Blitzwing. "As I am ranking officer, I'll post all details in Catechism's stead!" With her free hand, she fishes out her holofoil pad, shaking it to open, and still festooned with Catechism, begins to tap in the details. "Mm, you're warm, it's a tad chilly up here this late a night," she remarks absently to the other flier, before she lapses into silence, thinking best how to phrase this.

Blitzwing says, "Hrn. From the reports *I* read, sounds more like Soundwave thinks the 'mother' dragon's gonna attack the EDC. But if does attack NCC, we'll be ready for it. I'll crush that thing's head...PERSONALLY! Why don't you two just follow orders as they're given to you, and not go around inventing new ones for yourselves!" He turns to glance at Arachnae and that chirping scanner. "Well? You done yet??"

Catechism does her best arm-scarf impression and murmurs, "Kerosene combustion does keep a girl warm." She's a little put out that she doesn't get to actually write up her ideas on the destruction of mythical creatures, but she'll find other ways to occupy her time. Catechism narrows her optics and reminds, cheerily, "Because sir, you just ordered us to write a report on leprechauns. Wouldn't you question that, a bit?"

Catechism adds, pointedly, "And sir, I got you your rank."

You post your note about 'New Mission Objective' in group 2 (Decepticon) as message #23

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==================== Decepticon =================================

Message: 2/23............Posted........Author

New Mission Objective....Sun Jan 21....Fusillade

-- The Decepticon Aerospace spinny pulls back, replaced by Fusillade's faaaaabulous fanged face. "Fusillade reporting in. Blitzwing's returned, and the Operations Commander has asked me to post these details for the Decepticon Empire's perusal. In order to acquire raw goods to fuel the Decepticon war machine, and keeping with the news of the bizarre, we are to add gold and iron to our inventory, using leprechaun treasure. The malleability of gold and its ability to conduct heat and electricity, as well as the raw iron from their storage kettles, are both commodities worth pursuing, and troops are to be give metal detectors attuned to the two metals for use. Aerial patrols are to immediately begin monitoring thunderstorms, since that is where the rainbow portals where this treasure appears are more likely to form around these weather phenomenon. In addition to the detectors, I think that we should use oil slicks as markers for investigation. They do look like dead rainbows, after all. Fusillade reporting in for Commander Blitzwing, out!"

She tosses up a jaunty salute, and blips out of existence.

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Blitzwing grates out, "I thought I told you once, I don't know anything about any leprechauns. That's why I'm asking you two to write a report, since you're obviously the experts on this BIG menace to the Decepticon empire. I mean, you're the ones who apparently know all there is to knwo about POTS of GOLD and RAINBOWS, right? So why don't you file that report and let everyone else know what valuable scouting you've been doing? In fact, I'll even authorize you to mention that I don't know anything about them."

Arachnae continues her scan, muttering, "Just keep staying still, Blitzwing, almost done.. here." Wings flick. "Not quite done, could you spin around?"

[Decepticon] Scourge says, "Ok....whose idea of a joke is this?"

You transmit a message to Catechism: Don't. Say. A thing. Unless directly questioned.

Transmission from Catechism: Stick and stones will break my struts, but I won't crack a smile.

[Decepticon] Scourge says, "Leprechauns do not exist."

[Decepticon] Arachnae says, "Did someone take your quad ionic defibrullator too sir?"

[Decepticon] Scourge says, "I am in good function."

[Decepticon] Geist says, "I told you, wingsib: ask Brigand the next time you see him."

Transmission from Catechism: But... but... but... moon dragons do!

[Decepticon] Arachnae says, "Might have just been stored with a wrong label."

Catechism mentions, "At one point, Soundwave was worried about moon dragons attacking NCC, because we tormented a moon dragon here. He did bring the moon dragon to the EDC, hoping to divert their rage. Still, apparently they're tele-wathzit, so they may hit NCC and the EDC. Who can tell with dumb animals?"

You say, "It's done. Although I believe that Scourge wishes an explanation." She purses hematite lips, still struggling to contain herself. At the objection, she collects herself, and ahs. "Very good point, Catechism. Such creatures of that nature do exist, yet doubt about others lingers. Now really isn't the time though, I'm afraid." As Sixshot slinks off, she mmmphs. "Well it IS only one JDAM. Plenty more where it came from, but it's the principle of the matter."

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==================== Decepticon =================================

Message: 2/24....Posted.........Author

Leprechauns......Sun Jan 21....Scourge

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 * Scourge appears*

I'm not sure what Blitzwing thinks he is playing at...but we will not be wasting resources on this. Actual sources of gold and iron are well and good, and would be most effective, but not in this case. Leprechauns are fictional creatures of stupid tales created by the flesh creatures. They do not exist. We will not be wasting resources searching "rainbows" or thunderstorms. I suggest Blitzwing report to medical immediately for an evaluation. Alpha, OUT.

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[Decepticon] Scourge says, "If it was stolen, inform me immediately."

Blitzwing turns around belatedly so that Arachnae can continue her scans. "Scourge, huh? Yeah, I heard him saying something over the...wait a second, you mean he was talking about your little report?! What did you write?" he produces some kind of hand-held data device of his own and fumbles at the controls. "Aww, slag! He's gonna think this was my idea! And after his whole speech on news orders. Now I'm gonna have to clear this up!"

Arachnae gives her scanner a shake, tilts her head to listen to its inner workings then hrmphs, aiming it back at Blitzwing again. "I think someone nerfed my settings. Lets try this again, shall we?" Absently spoken as if she's not expecting any answer. The scanner beeps, chirps and then silences. "Huh. How about that. Very interesting." Optics focusing clearly on Blitzwing. "You would do well to come to medical for a full evaluation, sir."

Transmission from Catechism: Leakin' frag! Why doesn't it work this well against the Autobots?

Blitzwing snorts. "Full evaluation? Yeah, I'll put that on my list of things to do. Right after we exterminate the moon dragons!!"

Arachnae flips her scanner around in her hand and stows it in a hip compartment, "Either you go for a full eval or I write an interesting report showing scan results. Your choice, toots."

"There's been a lot of 'not following orders' as of late, Blitzwing, I wouldn't want to add onto the other cases of insubordination. I filed as you requested. If there are details that I missed, then certainly Catechism can fill us in on them," Fusillade says reasonably, after drafting cool air over her vents several times so she doesn't completely blow her cover by laughing to hard, too much, too soon. Glancing over to Catechism, she nods. "I'll have to agree with you on this one," she deadpans, concern etched onto her features.

Blitzwing glares at Arachnae. "Okay I'll do it!! Just let me go talk to Scourge first to clear this up. I have a feeling I might be headed to medical anyway afterwards.

Blitzwing transforms into a jet fighter!

Blitzwing soars downward towards the NCC Spaceport below.

Catechism nods and agrees, "I will check over your report, Fusillade, but I am certain this it is... exhaustive." Then, to defuse the laughter welling, she says an old one, "Hey, why did the Aerialbot cross the road?"

Fusillade has a moment of weakness as she sees Blitzwing fly off, but Catechism cleverly diverts. "Because they were too scared to fly?" She guesses randomly.

Arachnae tsktsks, "Trouble with a capitol B." Slowly she turns, beaming brightly at the two aerial warriors. "Either of you need a checkup?" Hopeful tone.

Catechism guffaws and snaps with her talons. She chuckles, "That's a good one, Fusillade. Darn right they're too scared to fly." Catechism pauses, considers, and looks to Fusillade. Catechism's never really had problems with Arachnae. She offers, "I suppose you could check a little sensory glitch I have, but... you got to promise I'll be out of the medical ward by sunrise, sir."

"HA!" Fusillade crows raucuously to her improvised punch line, before she hmms to Arachnae. "I believe I actually do have one coming up. I can schedule one for later. In the meantime, I think I will go patrol some thunderheads." She gives a saucy flick of her wingblades, and begins to rise into the sky. "And I'll be around later, Catechism. You pick the place."

Arachnae would clap her hands together, do a little dance and squeal with delight were she that type. But she does twitch wings a bit, "I'm positive you'll be out by sunrise, Catechism. And thank you, Fusillade. I have an open schedule, just let me know."

Catechism replies to Fusillade, grinning, "Wherever the kerosene runs freely, my friend." What is Catechism on about? She waves cheerily as Fusillade departs. Then, Catechism nods to Arachnae and says, "Well... then let's do this, eh?"

Fusillade tumbles, before transforming.

Fusillade leans forward, wingblades whipping out to their full span, even as her arms lock backward in place as the rear fuselage. Her torso folds out to the become the cockpit of a Terran B-1B Lancer, ready for flight!

You take off and soar upward to Skies Above the Southwest Pacific.

[Decepticon] Scourge says, "Fusillade, Catechism...a very quick word? While it provided me with a wonderful and hearty laugh...it is probably inadvisable to play pranks on those that command divisions. I will give you this: It was quite funny."

[Decepticon] Catechism giggles, "Accepted and understood, sir!"

[Decepticon] Scourge says, "Good."

[Decepticon] Fusillade says, "Smelt, he was askin' for it."

[Decepticon] Commander Blitzwing says, "I can still hear you."

[Decepticon] Fusillade says, "You think?"

[Decepticon] Scourge says, "Be that as it may...he can also make your life very difficult. Just some advice."

[Decepticon] Catechism says, "Mops are pretty scary, I guess."

[Decepticon] Fusillade says, "There is an abundance of Decepticons that can make my life very difficult, and some already have. I'm quite well aware."

[Decepticon] Scourge says, "Good."

--End--