Demolition Derby 2029

Six Lasers - Planet XXX

Screw you guys, I'll build my own theme park! With hookers and blackjack! You know what, forget the theme park!

Technically a small asteroid, Planet XXX resides in the Six Lasers solar system's outer rim, tucked out of harm's way. A misshapen planetoid, this down and dirty attraction is usually not mentioned in the rest of the ads, as Six Lasers puts on a family friendly public front. Those interested will know where to find it.

The attractions themselves reside in a single domed fortress consisting of a docking bay with a discreet shuttle that arrives every hour, and the main entertainment area. Inside, the facilities resemble a crude strip joint, with all manner of exotic aliens and robots on display. Although the variety is immense, humanity's lack of a galactic presence has resulted in little in the way that a human would find sensual. It the very least it's amusing and/or gross. Planet XXX also has ready access to more liquor than anywhere in the system aside from Bar Moon. Shady dealings often take place here.

Contents:

Blue Femme

Obvious exits:

Space < S > leads to Six Lasers Solar System.

Blue Femme takes a seat by the bar, not noticing the new arrival.

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "On m way."

< Autobot > Chief Medical Officer Peacekeeper curses softly.

< Autobot > Whirl says, "Any idea who is doing the attacking, Impulse?"

< Autobot > Defcon says, "I'm in the sector... .moving in."

Monstereo looks to the Blue femme. "I know you're not a prostibot. You are an undercover Nun."

Blue Femme calls for a bouncer. The bouncer grabs Hardcode Hack Helper < HHH > and throws it out the door!

< Autobot > Defcon says, "I'm your eye in the sky Impulse... ..."

Monstereo looks at HHH. "Poor dude."

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "Blueshift. He's apparently giving me a message to shut up, or 'accidents' will happen.  I don't think he understood half the words he said in that threat, to be frank."

< Autobot > Whirl says, "Heheh.."

< Autobot > Whirl says, "Haha.."

< Autobot > Whirl says, "Hahahahahahaa!"

Blue Femme smiles as Outrun enters and goes over to the bar.

< Autobot > Whirl is heard pounding his fist on something, "Ahahaha!"

< Autobot > Red Alert says, "Blueshift delivering the message. Can you scan him, Impulse?"

< Autobot > Whirl says, "Eheheh..heh..ahem."

< Autobot > Whirl says, "I seriously doubt disposing of Blueshift will be a problem."

< Autobot > Monstereo says, "Sinister sinister sinister plot."

< Autobot > Defcon says, "Fellas got more gusto than you think Whirl..."

< Autobot > Whirl says, "I believe that is all he has going for him, however."

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "true."

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "He's leaving now..."

< Autobot > Red Alert says, "you weren't able to scan him, Impulse?"

< KNUJ > Monstereo says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Conway Twitty. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rfHlTZgH8Q"

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "Thanks for the eye in the sky, though, Defcon. You too, Silverbolt."

< Autobot > Whirl says, "See? All that worrying was for naught."

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "Scan him for what, Red?"

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "We look after our friends, Impulse....no matter what the Decepticons think."

< Autobot > Defcon says, "No problem Impulse... ...we watch out fer our own."

Falling to the ground, Blitzwing folds himself inwards, armor locking into place and cannon snapping down as he becomes a battle tank.

< Autobot > Red Alert says, "Anything resembling an explosive device."

Sunder's head disappears into his chest, his wings fold around him, and now he is in Sweepcraft mode, his headcannon still visible.

Monstereo looks for local wildlife to befriend, and gets told by some extremely large and scaley creature that will cost him extra. Monstereo hurries on his way towards the DD event.

Folding in upon himself, Hot Spot transforms into a Firetruck.

The Junkion robot makes a clickety-ratcheting series of sounds as he transforms into the disguise of a monster truck... labelled Monstereo. Are you fooled? ;)

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "Not coming out of a lava pool, he wouldn't. Would have already gone off before he ever confronted me, I'd suspect."

Outrun falls fowards and folds into a sleek Vector WX3.

Markdown falls forward onto his arms, his legs fold up into the back section, then his arms collapse into the front section of a powerful General Motors H12 Hummer!

Blueshift leaps into the air, flipping into the form of a small spacecraft

Blue Spaceship taxis onto the runway, beeping his horn. "Make way, make way, make way for DEATH and HORRIBLE EGREGIOUS ACCIDENT!" he loudly emits

Impulse zips into the room, quickly sweeping the area.

Blue Femme smiles as Impulse enters and goes over to the bar.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > honks. "Supernumeraryously!"

"It is the drugs," the guy in th eKremzeek outfit says to Monstereo in a stage whisper. Where did he come from? Why, he was seated right next to the Junkion. Monstereo might not have noticed as the Kremzeek costume is decked out with an oversized trench coat and those fake nose & moustache glasses. "A bit too much energon for /that/ one, huh?" He bobs his entire body in the Blue Femme's direction, who is currently harassing that poor Hollywood Hulk Hogan bastard again.

The setting? We are in one of Planet XXX's larger strip joints. The lights are dimmed so as to make the bright neon stand out more, and it's tough to see very far because of all the cigarette smoke in the air. There's a stage where a bunch of bizarre aliens are dancing. It's tough to tell, but they are probably female. There's tables arrayed throughout the joint, though most are sparsely populated. In the centre of the place is a giant pit that looks like it'd be great for cockfighting... if the roosters were the size of Transformers, anyway. There's enough room for most vehicles to get a decent head of steam, but not so much room that it's easy to avoid the other competitors. Giant mechanical cranes are positioned at strategic point along the rim of the pit in order to lower the competitors in so they can fight, or take them out once they've been wrecked. The floor of the pit is concrete with a soft, thin layer of sand.

The 'disguised' Kremzeek gets up from his table and waddles over to a podium at the edge of the demolition derby pit. There's a drink in his hand.

Blue Femme says, "Ummmmmmmm..."

Blue Femme says, "Oh, really? WoOow!"

Junkion Bullet Train < Broadcast > is here looking for a prostibot. Rockstars are like so!

Blue Femme shouts, "Why you!" and lifts the purse off her shoulder, spikes sprouting from it. She starts spinning the purse wildly by the strap and smashes the spikes into Hardcode Hack Helper < HHH > 's face!

Sweepcraft < Sunder > sidles up to Blue Femme.

Vector WX3 < Outrun > arrives at full speed as usual. As he passes near the blue femme he suddenly breaks, "Hello lady! I'm looking for the the demolition derby... would you know where it is?"

Blue Femme looks Firestar's way for a second but turns the other way just as fast.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > says, "Wow, that HH sure is a whipping boy."

H12 Hummer < Markdown > sighs as he waits near on the cranes, "Guys, stop harrassing the prostibot. Er, I mean, "escort.""

Blue Femme raises her arm, which transforms into a missile launcher. The music suddenly stops, and everyone turns as Hardcode Hack Helper < HHH > gets blasted by the Blue Femme! The music comes back on, and everyone goes back to what they were doing.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > motors on over to the outer rim of the pit. "Scotty, beam me up." The Monster Truck honk honks again.

T-72 MBT rolls out onto the floor with a rumble and a clanking sound. "Man, Astro didn't show up this year either? He's missing out."

Chuck Norris comes and looks at the Blue Femme. "Oh, what a hot prostibot! You know, I never met a prostibot that didn't need a tune up after I was finished driving..."

Blue Femme calls for a bouncer. The bouncer grabs Broadcast and throws him out the door!

Firestar leans forward and transforms into her hovertruck mode! ROLL OUT!

Shortly after a rather enlightening chat with Blueshift, the most visibly hated (at least right now) Autobot of the Olympics arrives -- Impulse, who heads for the pit. He glances around to see who's shown up, and hmms. Well, this just might be interesting after all.

Firestar glides her way into the area......and seems to settle down a bit before transforming and looking to Impulse. "Need someone to guard that body, sugar?" She says in a southern accent.

The Hovertruck transforms into the Fabulous Autobot Femme, Firestar!

Monster Truck < Monstereo > cues up some Tammy Wynette on his sound system: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwBirf4BWew

< Autobot > Red Alert says, "good luck Impulse"

Impulse chuckles at Firestar. "This event, Firestar, I don't expect to win. In fact, I fully expect to be the first target on every Decepticon's hitlist." He stretches a little bit. "But hey... it'll be fun to be the bait while everyone else hammers them."

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "Heh. Like I just told Firestar, I don't plan on winning this event.  I just plan to keep the Decepticons busy gunning for me while they hammer on them in return."

< Autobot > Hot Spot says, "Impulse... ...you got any specific plan in mind?"

"Who's that guy who's all full of himself?" Blitzwing asks Blueshift, gesturing at Impulse with his pintle-mounted machinegun.

< Autobot > Monstereo says, "Thanks in advance!"

< Autobot > Firestar says, "I have one sugah.....Take down the Decepticons.....then we concentrate on having fun."

"He's a guy who is about to have a lot of horrible accidents" Blueshift responds, waving back with his wing-guns

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Woah, hold the phones there Impulse! Did you say Firestar? As in the attractive and spunky red femme with the round backside?"

< Autobot > Hot Spot says, "Agreed. I'm hoping that we can count on our Junkion allies to help us eliminate the competition..."

< Autobot > Monstereo says, "We eliminate the middle man at Spatula City. Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"

< Autobot > Firestar says, "Otherwise boys.....have fun. and let the best bot win."

< Autobot > Firestar says, "of course.....that would be saying there wasn't a good autobot."

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "I just plan to see how many times I can make them miss. If we want overall strategy, though... go for the big guys.  I'd say the Sweep is first target, Blitzwing second, Blueshift third."

< Autobot > Monstereo says, "Or the best Junkion."

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > hums quietly, hover-units on low output so that it hangs suspended just a few feet above the ground. Inside, James makes a few adjustments to his gloves and then pulls a pair of tanker's dust goggles down over his eyes.

< Autobot > Markdown says, "Well, I have some basic tips. Stay together, cooperate against dangerous Decepticons, and NO RAMMING OTHER AUTOBOTS until all the Decepticons have been knocked out."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Eheheh, hey Firestar! How about after I'm done watching this poor excuse for a fight, you and I hit the town? You know, drink a little. Okay, a lot."

< Autobot > Firestar says, "you count as Autobots Monstereo....as do the Terrans."

The Kremzeek mascot wobbles a bit as he stands behind the podium. It's tough to tell if he's actually wasted or if he's just acting. His voice and command of the English language remains the same, though. "Welcome to shady side of Six Laser!" he says. The microphone amplifies his voice so it can be heard over the sleazy music the powers that be are pumping through the establishment.

"Ok, all competitor should get into pit. If you need help getting into pit then help will be given. If you /not/ need help then you not had enough to drink yet! Ha ha ha!" Kremzeek raises his bottle in a mock salute, label outwards so the camera can get a good shot at it. Thousands of energon chips went into those five seconds of fame.

"Rules simple. So simple even Autobot and Decepticon be able to get it. Oh and human and Junkion too. You stay in vehicle mode. You smash others. Last one still able to move wins! Robot that crashes and /avoid/ crash the most win special prize! So if you want special prize, wreck other car, but don't get wreck yourself!"

Firetruck (Hot Spot) is parked in the back of the pack, biding his time until the competition starts.

Firestar walks her way into the pit and transforms....yup...she's ready for this.

Impulse glances over towards Blitzwing and Blueshift. Pity the facemask is there, otherwise there would be a faint smile there. He even gives the two Decepticons a mock-salute before transforming.

< Autobot > Firestar says, "we'll talk after the derby, Sugah."

Firestar leans forward and transforms into her hovertruck mode! ROLL OUT!

A flurry of shifting, twisting and contorting ensues as Impulse transforms into the sleek, streamlined form of a gold hovercar.

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Is that a yes?"

< Autobot > Markdown says, "Right, goes without saying. Once the 'cons are gone, all bets are off."

Monster Truck < Monstereo > gets crane lifted into the pit and revs his engine while Stand By Your Man concludes. "That was stand By Your Man by tammy Wynette... and that goes out to that mysterious Blue Femme I passed on my way here."

< Autobot > Hot Spot says, "Mind to the task at hand please Firestar..."

< Autobot > Firestar says, "Of course, My dear."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Because, I mean, we're a perfect match. I'm red...you're red.."

< Autobot > Firestar says, "we will talk after the Derby, powerglide....not before. now ssshhhh"

Blueshift does that

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "The Sweep will have the highest velocity. Hit him first.  I'll likely gun for him, just to make the point that I'm here and I want them to focus on me.  I get hit much, though, and I'm toast because my armor won't hold up.  But hey... I'm the bait.  I wamt them to come after me."

< Autobot > Firestar says, "Blueshift hasn't changed. I think someone should make him.....die in a fire?"

Vector WX3 < Outrun > rolls towards the pit and "jumps" into it, heavily landing at the bottom, "Finally an interesting contest."

< Autobot > Firestar says, "I'll ram him too, Impulse."

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > emits a faint chuckle. "So, the Decepticons watch NASCAR and Formula 1 racing. Tell me when I'm supposed to be impressed."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Is the Derby over yet?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Can we talk now?"

< Autobot > Firestar says, "I'll tell you when, Powerglide."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Nnng."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "How about now?"

Junkion Bullet Train < Broadcast > is jus trady for the battle to begin. He seems to be calm and quiet as he is disengagged from the track.

< Autobot > Firestar says, "ssshhh"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Hn!"

H12 Hummer < Markdown > hums to himself as a crane gently lifts him up and sets him down in the middle of the arena. And just for this match, he's covered in A-Mart decals from front to back. It's free advertising, so why not?

< Autobot > Dee-Kal says, "Firestar, shall I take him apart for you after the Derby..?"

Monster Truck < Monstereo > cues up Ozzy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF2inhZO2Ys

< Autobot > Monstereo says, "Dee dear. Remember to wear gloves."

< Autobot > Junkion Radio Broadcast says, "Dee-Kal, I tried eatign mushrooms today."

< Autobot > Junkion Radio Broadcast says, "Smurfs taste funny."

< Autobot > Dee-Kal says, "I am getting very good at smurfing the dents out of body panels. And there is nothing in the rules that says I have to smurf them back in the right order..."

Quickswitch rapidly transforms into a hulking drill tank.

Kremzeek motions with his beer as if drinking it. He does this very well despite the awkwardness of the costume. Draining it all in one gulp, the Olympic mascot casually tosses the bottle over his shoulder, where it smashes against the ground and shatters. He then flags down a passing waitress, winking at her as he places another order.

Slouching over the podium, the mascot's eyes droop a bit. "Ok then there are no questions for Kremzeek? Well Kremzeek have question for YOU. You ready to rumble?! Hmm?! Kremzeek want know! Are you ready for rumble?!" Sadly the Cassetticon is not here and a golden opportunity is wasted. "Ok, you ready to rumble!" A bunch of bar goers have huddled around the derby pit. Some people are throwing beer bottles in, and nobody seems inclined to stop them.

"Then Kremzeek declare demolition derby... BEGUN!"

"I'm ready to Rumble!" shouts Blitzwing, who immediately guns his engine and plows straight at Outrun, who looks fragile.


 * SCREECH!* Blueshift starts to taxi down the runway, his wheels burning as his back rockets roar into life. But almost immediately he swerves. Not to his right, where Impulse is, but to his left, where Outrun is, wings angled to try to get the biggest cut in

Blitzwing strikes Vector WX3 < Outrun > with ram.

Blueshift strikes Vector WX3 < Outrun > with ram.

H12 Hummer < Markdown > 's engine lets loose with a loud roar as he launches himself at the Decepticons. "We're on even ground now, Blueshift! You're MINE!" And true to his words, Markdown charges right for the space fighter, which is honestly probably not the best choice for a demo derby. But hey, it's not like Markdown cares.

Markdown misses Blue Spaceship with his ram attack.

Vector WX3 < Outrun > doesn't waste any time once the signal is given. standing still means being rolled over in this kind of combat. The autobot car starts to circle around the pit, accelerating at full speed. Unfortunately he is soon rammed by two decepticons and sent flying into the pit's wall... looks like this is going to end soon... but he can at least attempts to take his revenge by launching himself into one of those Decepticon.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > 's hum rises in pitch and volume as it's engines come fully online. It glides forward, then swerves and heads for the pair of Decepticons dogpiling Outrun. They've got the right idea, apparently - take out the most fragile opponents first. And if the choice is between Blitzwing and Blueshift, I wonder which one counts as the 'most fragile...?'

Outrun misses T-72 MBT with his Mach 1 ram attack.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > strikes Blue Spaceship with ram.

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > surges forward, letting the speeds build up. Yeah, this is going to be interesting. And fun. And... well, might as well make a name for himself by trying to go for the big guns. In this case... the Sweep. It's probably not Geist, but hey, this is going to be fun... and he does have certain advantages in this particular situation.

Impulse strikes Sweepcraft < Sunder > with Sideswiped!.

Firetruck (Hot Spot)'s tires spit up some loose dirt, as he guns it towards the rear end of Blitzwing. He intends to make a Outrun - Hot Spot sammich, with Blitzwing making the meat.

Hot Spot strikes T-72 MBT with ram.

Firestar surges forward as well....and definitely aims for the Sweepcraft!

Firestar strikes Sweepcraft < Sunder > with ram.

< Autobot > Firestar says, "YEEEEE-HAH!"

Sweepcraft < Sunder > was about to pick out a target when apparently one made him a target. Since Impulse has crashed into him, it is only fitting to return the favor. "Oh, so you want to dish it out? Then TAKE IT!" the Sweep growls, as he charges at Impulse, getting hit by Firestar also in the process.

Sunder misses Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with his ram attack.

Drill Tank < Quickswitch > 's engine idles as he waits, he spins his drill leisurely and makes a few last minute system checks. The point of this particular exercise made much more sense than the last one. Quicky revs his engines and surges forward, enthusiam bolstered by the thunder of his engines. Quicky makes a solid line for the first target grabbing his attention--that abominable Sweep.

Quickswitch misses Sweepcraft < Sunder > with its Instruments of destruction (eat this) attack.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > honks his horn. "I'm a stumblin rumblin bumblin ramblin gamblin man!" He cues of Ramblin Gamblin Man by The Seager System. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2aBOTNGWMY And he rolls around the pit looking for an opening. Who looks in need of a fender bender? He can't get to someone who looks like they need it yet.

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "Hehehehe... oh yes, this is gonna be fun..."

Junkion Bullet Train < Broadcast > behaves and moves around as he notices that Outrun is attempting an attack off on Blitzwing. For someone who is an Autobot by alliance, seems to enjoy that! So, he goes for his own attack on to Outrun.

Broadcast misses Vector WX3 < Outrun > with his 1000 Tons Of Ska attack.

Everyone's favorite Olympic mascot smiles (as always) and claps along with the rowdy bar goers as the competitors begin crushing one another. The poor 'dancers' up on stage are getting neglected, but they continue their routine anyhow. They'll get paid no matter what, even if it means getting less energon chips from the patrons. "Whoa, a lot of people target Outrun and Sunder! Kremzeek guess they just not popular or something. Ok, let Kremzeek check leaderboard for most crashes & evasions. So far three way tie between Impulse, Blueshift, and Blitzwing. Ha ha, Kremzeek know Blueshift! Kremzeek hear about Blueshift all the time! Kremzeek got dossier in the mail that said he future Air Commander of Earth. Hooray for promotion, Blueshift!"

Firetruck (Hot Spot) kicks it into reverse, gaining up speed while turning himself into a semi-circle. His rear end lines up with the front of Blitzwing's tank-mode. "WHOOO YAH!" The Protectobot Commander is probably getting a little more enjoyment out of this event than he should... ...

Hot Spot strikes T-72 MBT with ram.

Vector WX3 < Outrun > misses his target, which is not surprising considering his engine is already about to give up. The autobot manages to break before hitting the wall. He doesn't stop for long, he accelerates again and starts to search for his next target...Which is Blueshift... sweet revenge!

Outrun misses Blue Spaceship with his Mach 1 ram attack.

Firestar HITS Sunder with resounding force! "YEE-HAH! You Sweeps should change yer names to SUCKAGE!" She says as her own anti-gravs spin her right around and charge full blast at Sunder again!

T-72 MBT gets knocked around like a curling stone by the massive Canadian broom that is Hot Spot! "Ungh! This guy is gunning for me! Somebody get him offa me!"

Yes, Impulse isn't very nice when it comes to infringing on other mech's copyrights. Poor Sideswipe. No wonder he took it so seriously when Impulse fought him in the first-round gladiatorial matchup. But it doesn't stop Impulse from gunning his engines and cruising around for a new target... and he might as well take a shot at Blueshift and sideswipe him as well. "Tsk tsk... I'm disappointed, Blueshift. I thought I was supposed to be having all these /horrible accidents/ down here. You guys aren't doing a good job of it thus far!"

Firestar strikes Sweepcraft < Sunder > with ram.

Blitzwing strikes Vector WX3 < Outrun > with ram.

T-72 MBT rolls over Outrun in an attempt to put something between himself and Hot Spot's massive grille.

Impulse strikes Blue Spaceship with Sideswiped!.

Blueshift swerves about like a mad thing as he tries to avoid being hit, but manages to get nobbled by the exo-tank. "Hey, you're not even a real thing, cheater!" he cries, dodging Outrun, his engines roaring. Oh, how he wishes he were allowed to shoot people. Just one laser blast... He swerves as Impulse moves towards him, and skids into the direction of Outrun

Blueshift misses Vector WX3 < Outrun > with his ram attack.

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "I think I got enough for about three more good rams, and then it's gonna be dicey."

H12 Hummer < Markdown > grumbles as he overhsoots Blueshift, and instead rolls over some broken beer bottles for his efforts. They don't pop, though, because his tires are actually reinforced for combat and automatically seal themselves back up if punctured. He swings around and tries to line up another Decepticon in his sights. Spotting Blitzwing, he accelerates and tries to slam into the tank's hide. Who will win the epic battle between tank and Hummer!?

Junkion Bullet Train < Broadcast > gets annoyed on how Firestar seems to have targeted Sunder yet again. It seems like Firestar is a bit picky of a punk. Broadcast starts playing some Greatful Dead. 'Driving my train. High on -Propaine...'

< Autobot > Firestar says, "You need yer frame reinforced sweetie!"

Broadcast misses Firestar with his Greatful Dead attack.

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "My frame /is/ reinforced, Firestar. But there's only so much even the reinforcements can take."

Markdown strikes T-72 MBT with ram.

The Enraged Sweep has Firestar in his sights now. Now that she's attacked him twice--drat this arena and very little maneuvering room!--he wants to return the favor. He just hopes nobody else gets in the way. "When this is over I will hunt you down!" he growls savagely.

Sunder strikes Firestar with ram.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > slows his circling, still looking for an opening. His music track jumps to Crash by Static X. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw-auJj_5PY He spots the Tank Blitzwing and guns it! But the Tank is suddenly hit by Markdown and Monstereo veers off!

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "Outrun, how are you holding up, lad?"

< Autobot > Firestar says, "hmmm...."

< Autobot > Firestar says, "my energon reserves aren't gonna last too long at this rate."

< Autobot > Firestar says, "at least I'll take out sunder if I do."

Drill Tank < Quickswitch > 's engines snarl as he barrels forward aiming squarely for the Unicronian, "Dammit...."

Quickswitch strikes Sweepcraft < Sunder > with Instruments of destruction (eat this).

From Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey >, James Bailey watches the Autobots unleash a little pent-up emotion on the Decepticons. Blitzwing and Blueshift are practically swarmed by Autobots, and every time he finds a new target, some other vehicular form darts in and crashes into that one as well. Finally he sets his tank on a circling pattern around the outskirts of the pit, waiting for some Autobot to pull out for a breather.

Kremzeek leans over the podium so far that his legs start to dangle off the ground. He points himself in everyone's favorite hover fire truck's direction and says, "Ha ha, you going to get gold medal to match /other/ 'FE-male Autobot!''s in sharpshooting?" Kremzeek does a bang-on Shockwave impression. It's so perfect one has to wonder if there was some technical trickery involved. "Kremzeek will be very impressed if y- whoa!" The mascot leans over a bit too far and nearly topples into the combat pit. He manages to right himself back up, though. "Ha ha, Kremzeek glad he didn't fall in there! You'd have to be stupid to get in pit!"

Vector WX3 < Outrun > gets crushed by Blitzwing again, which knocks him out of his way. Apparently those Decepticons have something against him...got to wonder hat because he can't even tell their name. Outrun refrains from trasnforming and blasting the hell out of them but after all they're all just here to have fun...right? Obviously, the speedster must destroy Blitzwing or be destroyed by him. So he gathers all his strength and he launches himself at the tank once again.

Outrun misses T-72 MBT with his Mach 1 ram attack.

T-72 MBT is still too tough for a mere car to damage, apparently. Not that that truck is having any trouble!

Firetruck (Hot Spot) backs up and repeats, the back end of his vehicle is looking a little shoddy right now from the repeated smashings into Blitzwing. The Protectobot Commander attempts to pin the tank into the wall... ...opening up more options for him to get 'Sideswiped' by the other Autobots and Junkion allies.

Hot Spot strikes T-72 MBT with ram.

Blitzwing falls to the ground unconscious.

< Autobot > Hot Spot says, "WOOOO HAH BOTS... ...let's keep at em!"

< Autobot > Marissa Faireborn says, "Well done!"

Blueshift swerves violently right as he's hit again, pushing hard on his booster rockets. "NOOOO!" he cries as he sees Hot Spot murder Blitzwing, and throws himself at Impulse in an attempt to avenge his comrade

Blueshift misses Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with his ram attack.

Firestar is hit by Sunder and wobbles on the spot! "Yeah! Finally grew a spine didja Sunder!? Lets see how you fare against a body that can TAKE some real punishment!" The Femme says as she zips around and aims for Sunder again! Yup....she's after Sunder today boys and girls!

Firestar strikes Sweepcraft < Sunder > with ram.

T-72 MBT gets pulled out with the crane. "Man, Astrotrain better have a good excuse for why he didn't come to this," he grumbles as he gets set down in the fixit area.

< Autobot > Outrun says, "Thanks for getting him off my back Spot."

Junkion Bullet Train < Broadcast > is out to kill a Firestar! Yes, the Junkion bullet train tries to damage the Autobot one last time.

< Autobot > Hot Spot says, "No problem little buddy... ...whadda say we knock that sad excuse fer an Aerialbot out next?"

< Autobot > Firestar says, "yeah Hot SPot! That's the way to drop the steer!"

Broadcast misses Firestar with his Greatful Dead attack.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > rolls over so many drink bottles the glass becomes a fine sparkling sand in the pit. He then rolls over something more solid: The local meatloaf... and his soundsystem is jarred again to a new song. Thunderstruck by AC DC http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvoeeq-BH4w And he guns for the Sweep!

Monstereo strikes Sweepcraft < Sunder > with ram.

Sunder falls to the ground unconscious.

< Autobot > Outrun says, "Right behind you buddy"

H12 Hummer < Markdown > bounces off of Blitzwing, his front end surprisingly less dented than one would expect for a GM Hummer slamming into a tank. But then again, Markdown isn't a real Hummer, and Blitzwing isn't a real T-72, either, so it all evens out in the end. "Phew, one down," he remarks to himself, and begins to circle around the arena. He hmms thoughtfully, realizing that it would be all too easy to attack the other Autobots and hit them while they are distracted. "Nah, sticking to the plan and--wait a minute. Broadcast, what are you doing?! There's still one Decepticon up! Geeze, can't anybody stick to the plan?"

Losing his temper, Markdown guns his engines, his push bumber bearing down on the train.

Markdown misses Junkion Bullet Train < Broadcast > with his ram attack.

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > peels off from Blueshift, moving around and angling for another run. That's two of the three Decepticons... well, that leaves one left. Sorry Blitzwing... and then Hot Spot drops him. Well... make that two remaining. And since he's already been equal opportunity... he sees Blueshift coming at him, but the speedster's picked up a few moves over the millennia. He swerves around... and another 'Con drops -- the Sweep. Well... time to shake things up.

He swerves towards... Hot Spot, of all people!

< Autobot > Firestar says, "Any Cons still up?"

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "Blueshift. Let him knock himself out trying to come after us.  At this point, let's just have fun."

< Autobot > Marissa Faireborn says, "Not sure... the television coverage of this event is really lousy. The picture isn't coming through very clear at all. Everything looks hazy."

Impulse strikes Firetruck (Hot Spot) with Sideswiped!.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > turns and heads back into the arena, as the pilot suddenly sees a clear shot at Blueshift after the Decepticon misses Impulse. It accelerates rapidly, nearly reaching maximum speed as it makes it's way across the short ring.

The Sweep is desperate to take out at least one target. Even as he's rammed into again by Firestar, and once by Monstereo, he charges at Outrun, attempting to make good on his sacrifice. Geez, did everybody think he was Geist or something, that they were all gunning for him? Or was it just the lack of participating Decepticons? Meh, everybody hates the Sweeps...

Sunder strikes Vector WX3 < Outrun > with ram.

Outrun falls to the ground unconscious.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > misses Blue Spaceship with its ram attack.

< Autobot > Firestar says, "I'd rather have all the cons out before we have fun, sugah."

Kremzeek checks the leaderboard and tsks, "Whoa, ever since Kremzeek make fun of Autobot for sucking in foot race, they come back with BANG! Wow, first they take land race by storm and now they taking demolition derby by storm. Maybe Olympic not have so many Autobot centric event next time. Ha ha ha! Possible bias! First Blitzwing and now Sunder. Oh oh oh, but check leaderboard on hits and evasions. Impulse winning! And who pick Impulse as torch bearer during opening ceremony? ME, KREMZEEK. Hooray, Kremzeek pick another winner!"

Out of the corner of his eye, however, Kremzeek becomes aware of something more horrible than Unicron. More horrible than the Swarm. Almost as horrible as Blueshift. He spies... James Bailey playing the demolition derby /conservatively/. The mascot points a finger at the Exo-Tank and emits a high pitched screech like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

< Autobot > Hot Spot says, "Agreed... ...I'm hoping it's only a navigational error on his part..."

Vector WX3 < Outrun > manages somehow to survive this round but he didn't hit anything so far... pretty embarassing. Hoefully he will be able to change that. The vector retracts his wheeles and switches to hover mode. The speedster is about to accelerate when a Sweep comes out of no where and crash into him. The autobot end his courses into a wall and then...nothing. Outrun is out.

break 4!

< Autobot > Markdown says, "And I owe Blueshift for beating me in the gladiatorial competition!"

< Autobot > Firestar says, "I'm gonna help ya Markdown!"

Firetruck (Hot Spot) get's knocked a bit by the sudden impact with Impulse... ...it knocks him off course with Blueshift... ...towards the Exo-Tank. < < I'm truly sorry about this... ... >  > the Protectobot Commander let's out, trying to hit the brakes in time.

Hot Spot strikes Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > with ram.

Blueshift screeches about. This isn't going well, not well at all. He wobbles a lot as he tries to avoid all the Autobots intent on murdering him. "Nnnn this is why Decepticons rule the AIR!" he shouts out. "Cos the ground SUCKS!" He swerves hard in the direction of Impulse, even though the Autobot has gone after Hot Spot. Because hey, accidents happen, right?"

Blueshift strikes Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with ram.

Firestar cheers over shortwave as She turns to survey the field. "whoa nelly! Seems we still have a seeker in the race!" She says as she makes a beeline for dear ole Blueshift!

Firestar misses Blue Spaceship with its ram attack.

"I kinda like it, when there aren't so MANY Autobots," remarks Blitzwing from above.

H12 Hummer < Markdown > growls to himself as Broadcast drives by harmlessly. "Dammit all, I can't hit *anything* today!" He does a quick powerslide, coming around 180 degrees, screeches his tires as they spin, then launches forward at the space fighter. "We're not done yet, Decepti-creep! This is for EVERYTHING!"

< Autobot > Firestar says, "Seems Blueshift is a might quick for a yank."

Markdown strikes Blue Spaceship with ram.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > 's music system is jarred as he crashes into Sunder. Yes, he knew it wasn't geist. He can tell them apart. The new song? We're Not Gonna Take It performed by Bif Naked! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwz2AKsm3FY

The Monster Truck backs up and then rolls forward turning towards the drill tank!

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > banks off and away, gunning the engines. It's pretty much an open book at this point, and so he might as well have fun with it. And since he's gone for Hot Spot already, he's got a couple of other options to look at... and with Hot Spot pinballed into James Bailey, that takes care of one--

WHAM!

Impulse nearly flips over from the impact with Blueshift, and he grins inwardly. "Wow... he actually managed to hit one of us! I'm almost impressed..." And suddenly, he guns it around, whipping towards Blueshift... and then peeling off as Markdown rams him. Well, that leaves one... sorry, sugah, but it's Firestar's turn.

Monstereo strikes Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with ram.

Impulse strikes Firestar with Sideswiped!.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > is knocked spinning by the collision with Hot Spot. It flies towards the wall of the arena, then actually turns sideways and speeds along the outer edge of the ring, making half a circle before finally coming back in at the center of the arena and flying straight through at top speed!

< Autobot > Markdown says, "Not fast enough, that time!"

You drop Bleachers.

"Oh oh," the Kremzeek mascot says, "Blueshift now tie with Impulse! Oh oh oh, Blueshift now winning with Impulse! Oh oh oh oh, Blueshift now tie with Impulse again! Oh the Transforminity!" His announcing isn't really needed, though, as those watching from home can see the leaderboard in the side panel anyway. It shows Impulse and Blueshift as both having 6 ram & evasions each. But things are likely going to turn sour for the Decepticon given the situation he's in. "Oh and look, human not ram anyone AGAIN. You just watch yourself!" Kremzeek shouts at James Bailey's tank. "Judgement harsh for people who do that in ring. Punishment even harsher!"

Wham bam, thank you ma'am. Blueshift is about to go for Impulse again, like the unimaginative clot he is, when something catches his audial sensors. "SEEKER?" he almost screams at Firestar. "SEEKER? I'm not a seeker, how do I look anything LIKE a seeker?!" All else forgotten, he revs his engine, heading straight for the fire engine.

Blueshift misses Firestar with his ram attack.

Firetruck (Hot Spot) lines himself up with Blueshift after the accidental collision with James. < < Sorry bout that one chap... >  > He intends to put the front end of his firetruck through the spaceship.

Hot Spot misses Blue Spaceship with its ram attack.

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > peels off from Firestar after sideswiping her, surging ahead and almost blurring into a streak of gold, black and red. And... well, he's got several potential targets to choose from now, because he's an equal-opportunity rammer. And... well, at this point, it's about having fun. He whips around, looking like he might angle for Markdown... and then zips past, on his way to angle in on... James Bailey! Yes, the human isn't going to continue to go through this match virtually untouched.

Firestar laughs at Blueshift as he zooms right past her! "If you're not a seeker, you sure LOOK like one......you're also the worst seeker I've seen....next to Ramjet!" She says whipping around and going for Blueshift yet again! Zoom!

Impulse misses Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > with his Sideswiped! attack.

Firestar misses Blue Spaceship with its ram attack.

< Autobot > Firestar says, "he seems to flip well when he hits dirt too!"

H12 Hummer < Markdown > is somewhat satisfied at the feeling of hitting Blueshift that hard, and allows him to pass by. He notices Monstereo up ahead, and allows himself a small chuckle as he suddenly steers himself for one of the Monster Truck's oversized tires. "Oops, don't mind me!"

< Autobot > Hot Spot says, "Only if we can manage to slow this one down... ..."

Markdown strikes Monster Truck < Monstereo > with ram.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > 's music feels the recoil action of ramming into a drill tank and the song switches over to Wynona's Big Brown Beaver by Primus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzhL-0_pC3E ... The strippers seem to know this song... like it was their anthem. Monster Truck Monstereo wheels back out to the outer rim of the pit and goes a huntin' for an opening to accellerate through. Someone else finds one to him and collides! His tire remains unscathed but his side looks like a Rocky movie now. Jarred, Monstereo backs around towards Markdown.

Monstereo misses H12 Hummer < Markdown > with his ram attack.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > swerves aside from Impulse's attack. Unfortunately the maneuver brings it in line with Firestar. James twists at the controls, but his tank is nowhere near as responsive as his super-sonic jet, and it's anyone's guess where he'll be able to avoid a collision.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > strikes Firestar with ram.

From Bleachers, "Man, I really thought the monster truck would do better in this event," muses Blitzwing, to the prostibot (who looks like Black Arcee) on his arm.

Blue Femme shouts, "Why you!" and lifts the purse off her shoulder, spikes sprouting from it. She starts spinning the purse wildly by the strap and smashes the spikes into Blitzwing's face!

From Bleachers, T-72 MBT upends his drink over Blue Femme to settle her down. "Jealous."

Monster Truck < Monstereo > spent his college money on brains, not gym class unfortunately. He needs to be souped up by some rednecks one of these days.

< Autobot > Firestar is laughing out loud into the mic! She sounds like she' having the time of her life!

Quickswitch had observed, watched the others ram into each other, detached and curious and planning him--then his side /rudely/ impacted by that Junkion. It took all he could summon not to return the favor that moment. But now, the behemoth tank revved for whatever was in reach...

Quickswitch strikes Monster Truck < Monstereo > with Instruments of destruction (eat this).

Kremzeek claps along with Blueshift as he manages to evade constant threats against his person. Even threats that he himself caused. "Kremzeek very impressed with that one, let me tell you! Kremzeek think Earth Air Commander not enough. Maybe Planet XXX Earth Air Commander? kremzeek will send a memo to Decepticon HQ outlining suggestion! With domination of evasion tactic, Blueshift now on top of leaderboard!"

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > chuckles to himself as Bailey scoots past. Wrong attack vector, apparently, though it would have been good for a strafing run on the Hermes exo-tank. He banks up on the edge of the pit, building up his speed... and then launches off like a gold, black and red Cybertronian bullet at nearly the speed of sound directly at Blueshift! "Okay, you've had enough of pretending to be Neo. Time for me to go Agent Smith on you."

Bang-a-langa! Blueshift skids so far to the side each time someone comes near him, his wingtips cause sparks to appear along the ground. "NNnn stupid Autobot fireengine!" he shouts to Firestar. "I am a spaceship, I look NOTHING like a plane at all. Curse your optics. Just for that, I will kill your girlfriend!" He pulls off and heads straight at Impulse!

Blueshift misses Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with his ram attack.

Firetruck (Hot Spot) whirls around the area rapidly, trying to find a target. It's too bad all the Decepticons have dropped out of the competition early... ...his grill is hungry for some impactin! Just as he lines up with the Blue Spaceship, he has to veer for some alien orphan that's found her way into the stadium. < < Watch out! > > That little orphan just made the Protectobot Commander jerk off course towards the Junkion Monstertruck.

< Autobot > Quickswitch says, "Hey, this is kinda cool, guys."

H12 Hummer < Markdown > jinks away from Monstereo, just in time for Quickswitch to hit him. "Hey, thanks, buddy!" Markdown calls out cheerfully to the six-changer... before coming back around and trying to hit him in the side. "I appreciate the HELP!"

Hot Spot strikes Monster Truck < Monstereo > with ram.

Monstereo falls to the ground unconscious.

Markdown strikes Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with ram.

Blue Femme looks blankly at Monitor.

< Autobot > Hot Spot says, "Incredibly sorry about that chap..."

Impulse strikes Blue Spaceship with Sideswiped!.

Firestar whips around....still giggling out of her mind as she follows in Impulse! "Yeah Impulse! You SHOW that seeker what for!" She yells angling to hit Blueshift as well!

Firestar misses Blue Spaceship with its ram attack.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > gets slammed and his music system turns off momentarily as the power fizzles. It comes back on again and he gets slammed once more. "Dang it hang on..." He fires up his stereo once more and... BANG! He's hit again! His sound system dies out completely and the Monster Truck shudders as he surges forward, making a run at Hot Spot...

< Autobot > Firestar says, "yee-hah! Let's show these airheads what it feels like!"

Monstereo misses Firetruck (Hot Spot) with his ram attack.

Monster Truck < Monstereo > dies in the middle of the pit and is fished out by a crane.

The rugged monster truck legend in the making makes a clickety-ratcheting series of sounds as it transforms into the Junkion robot Monstereo.

Blue Femme looks Monstereo's way for a second but turns the other way just as fast.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > careens away from the wall and then heads back into the melee. It's still trying to get into the melee swirling around Blueshift, but this takes it across the path of Impulse. Inside, James shrugs and then jams the throttle all the way forward.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > strikes Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with ram.

Quicky had to take this seriously but--attack his own people? Quickswitch muddled over it, perhaps a bit too long. *Crunch* Rammed by a Hummer. Rammed by one of his own guys--guys, c'mon, this is like a training exercise. The conspicious hulk of a tank settled on one of them--"HA!" he released loudly, ramming right for Hot Spot. Wheeeee! This is actually a good way to test his armorments and to pass the time, as they liked to say it.

Quickswitch strikes Firetruck (Hot Spot) with Instruments of destruction (eat this).

The crowd drunkenly cheers as there's more carnage. Someone throws a beer bottle at Hot Spot out of deep rooted psychological issues involving firemen, and somebody else accidentally tips an ash tray over the edge. Camera drones whirl about, but it's hard for them to get good shots given the lousy lighting and the thick hazy smoke that hangs in the air. Kremzeek does a little dance to motivate the crowd. Someone tries to start the wave but it doesn't work since half the people aren't sober enough to stand upright.

Blueshift is smashed and bashed, sections falling off himself as he sparks. "I hate all of you, Autobots, Junkions, humans, aliens, this planet, this atmosphere, I hate it ALL! I can't wait for it to be CRUSHED!" he opinines loudly. "When the war starts back up again, you will see our MIGHT!" With that, he swerves hard at Impulse

Blueshift misses Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with his ram attack.

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > seems to have banked off just in a nick of time before he could take the brunt of Blueshift's attempt at a public display of affection. He angles around for another target... and for a moment, he seems ready to try and tangle with Markdown... or perhaps the human again. The idea of James trying to not be a target is something that's actually rather amusing. So, once again, the gold speedster angles in, launching himself like a shot off at the exo-tank! The question now, as the Hermes grinds against Impulse's chassis, is if the old Alteronian speedster can give as good as he takes... even as Blueshift whizzes by past him again. Poor Blueshift.

Impulse strikes Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > with Sideswiped!.

Firestar continues keeping her sights on Blueshift! "hah! Maybe you should stop drinkin' ya slaggin yank!" She yells over shortwave as she makes another full throttle beeline for Blueshift!

Firetruck (Hot Spot) lines up the front end of his vehicle with the remaining Decepticon... .../again/, when he is derailed from his course, /again/. Hot Spot tries to gain control as the back tires spin in the dirt... ...but his rear end is swinging towards Markdown's location.

Hot Spot misses H12 Hummer < Markdown > with its ram attack.

Firestar strikes Blue Spaceship with ram.

H12 Hummer < Markdown > simply accelerates out of Hot Spot's way, dodging him as he backs up. "Nice try, Hot Spot!" he calls out. He tears down the arena until he spies Impulse, and tries to scrape some paint off of his side. "Comin' through!"

From Bleachers,

The unconscious Sweepcraft is fished out by a crane and hauled into the bleachers.

Markdown misses Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with his ram attack.

From Bleachers, Monstereo nods to the Sweep. "Dude."

From Bleachers, Sunder collapses onto the bench, taking a nap.

From Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey >, James Bailey is rocked in his seat as Impulse slams into his hovertank. He also sees the flash of Blue - well, on the ground like it's more like a slow-moving blurr of blue. This reminds him that there's still one target he can chase after hopefully without incurring too much heavy retaliation.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > strikes Blue Spaceship with ram.

Blueshift falls to the ground unconscious.

< Autobot > Firestar says, "YAH!"

< Autobot > Firestar says, "and the perceived Decepticon dominance is but a FART in the wind!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Aheheheh..fart.."

< Autobot > Firestar says, "Now let's have some fun boys!"

Blue Spaceship explodes into a firey deathball :(

Drill Tank < Quickswitch > is thoroughly confused, but that's half the fun! The battered drill tank, side impacted inward in places rolls and crushes over any fallen pieces still present. The hummer looks like a solid tempting target--did that human just ko, feh, that Decepticon? He didn't care. Vroom.

Quickswitch strikes H12 Hummer < Markdown > with Instruments of destruction (eat this).

"Whoa!" Kremzeek exclaims as the lights on the leaderboard blink on and off. "Blueshift getting trounced now. Not Air Earth Commander of Planet XXX after all. Impulse smash into human AND avoid Blueshift to take super mega lead! Not to worry, Impulse, special prize for crashing and evasions is VERY GOOD. Not bad prize at all!" Kremzeek nods his entire body repeatedly, trying to convince Impulse that the crappy prize will be worth it. "Oooooh and Blueshift fall down and explode. Good work, human!" Kremzeek thumbs up to the Exo-Tank. "But now it get interesting. Now it only human and Autobot! Who you think they turn against NOW, human? Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Firetruck (Hot Spot) aims for the Blue spaceship again, but instead let's Impulse deal with it... ...he's obviously more suited for it. Then out of nowhere, James Bailey hauls off and demolishes Blueshift outright. With that decided, the other options are much less obvious. Autobots and allies are left, and he makes a quick decision to line up with the Exo-Tank. Although it pains him to do so, he wants to insure a full medal sweep from the Autobots. < < I don't really have a choice... > >

Hot Spot strikes Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > with ram.

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > shifts course, angling away from James now, and going back to the outer edge of the pit to build up his speed again. Faster and faster he goes, a golden blur with streaks of black and red trailing in his wake. Thankfully, he has no Black Racer trying to catch him while he tries to catch some God-Bullet--

Oh wait, this isn't the Crisis of Infinite Earths from DC Comics, is it?

Well, he sees enough to tell that Blueshift finally drops... from all people, by the Hermes exo-tank pilot. Well... that gives him a free pass this round. But since Markdown wanted him to be a target... well, Markdown's about the only one, aside from Quickswitch, that he hasn't gone after yet. Time for that to change!

The spaceship flips up into the handsome form of Blueshift

Impulse strikes H12 Hummer < Markdown > with Golden Cybertronian Bullet!.

From Bleachers, Monstereo nods to Blueshift. "Sup?"

Firestar spins in place as Blueshift is knocked out! "Yeah! Decepticon Dominance my AFT plate!" She says before she lines up her sights. 'ah! here we go!" She says as she aims for quickswitch!

Firestar misses Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with its ram attack.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > is bashed by the huge fire-tuck, armor battered and showing dents and cracks on all sides. Inside, James eyes his damage sensors. "Can't take too much more of this." He sets his tank on a quick circling pattern, hoping to outrun the Autobots for a few minutes - although with the limited maneuvering room here, that's not likely.

H12 Hummer < Markdown > yells, "AARRRGH!" as he is suddenly sandwiched painfully between Impulse and Quickswitch. "Oh, that's it!" he yells, tearing himself away from between the two, paint scraping away from his doors. "I am MAD, now!" he yells, before powersliding back around and aiming for Impulse. He doesn't just try to ram Impulse, oh no, he tries to push him all the way right into the pit's wall, and crush him against it. "EAT THIS!"

Markdown strikes Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with ram.

< EDC > Marissa Faireborn says, "How's the exo performing, James?"

From Bleachers, Blueshift looks very grumpy as he storms into the bleachers, and drops a /rock/ that he is carrying onto Monstereo. "WHOOPS" he deadpans.

From Bleachers, Blueshift strikes Monstereo with ACCIDENT.

< EDC > James Bailey says, "The Exo's fine...but showing heavy damage. I think my only chance is to avoid taking any more shots!"

< EDC > James Bailey says, "Er...performing fine, I mean."

From Bleachers, Monstereo curls up "Hoooo! Right in the lugnut!" He carefully lifts the rock and names it Freud.

From Bleachers, Blueshift flops into a seat and glares at the Junkion. "/ACCIDENTS HAPPEN/" he says loudly, watching Impulse with interest

Quickswitch feels his enthusiasm flatten out with the decision made on his next attack. As his treads sped toward the human--not his most agile mode, but probably his strongest--he would deal with that femme momentarily--he forced his great hulk toward the smaller human's exo, with some amount of satisfaction at it finally.

Quickswitch misses Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > with its Instruments of destruction (eat this) attack.

From Bleachers, Monstereo smiles and claps Blueshift on the back. "Don't take everything your mother said to heart."

Kremzeek tsks as Hot Spot smashes into the Exo-Armour. "Just as Kremzeek predicted. Tsk tsk, powder blue fire truck! So much for being protector of human, ha ha! Guess red Autobot insignia more important! But at least you still in it, human! Good evasion on Seven Former! But it not let you get very far, I think!" With James probably doomed, the crowd is getting geared up for the Autobot on Autobot free for all, where anything can happen.

< Autobot > Quickswitch says, "I thought this would be a lot more, I dunno...."

Firetruck (Hot Spot) whirls around in reverse, and intends to send the front portion of his cab into Quickswitch. Why you ask? Well Hot Spot is far too kind to pick on the humie twice in a row... ...and the six changer did of course attack him for now reason earlier... ...when there was a Decepticon target left on the field of combat.

Hot Spot strikes Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with ram.

From Bleachers, Blueshift twitches, but inside, he is crying. Crying so hard

From Bleachers, Monstereo wins the day.

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > banks off, even as Markdown comes in at him again, and likely gives better than he took. He's not doing well at all, at this point, but he's not giving up -- he didn't give up in the foot race, he didn't give up in the mode2 land race -- even late as he was, and still came back to finish 6th after nearly being a lap down to begin with. He's not about to give up now. So he guns it, charging around and heading straight for... Firestar! Poor femmes, always being rammed...

Impulse misses Firestar with his Golden Cybertronian Bullet! attack.

H12 Hummer < Markdown > backs up from Impulse, growling, "Let that be a lesson to you." He continues to back up, building up speed... and now he's going for Hot Spot!

From Bleachers, "OH NO!" says Blueshift slowly, as he places a beeping device on his seat and walks away. "OH NO THAT ASTEROID FROM SPACE IS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR MONSTEREO!" He keeps walking away and grabs an energon soda, waving at the Junkion

From Bleachers, Blueshift strikes Monstereo with Asteroid Strike.

From Bleachers, Monstereo falls to the ground unconscious.

Firestar backs up to evade Impulse. "Ya gotta do bettah than that, Sugah!" She shortwaves as she goes to hit Impulse right back! Blasted femmes!

Markdown misses Firetruck (Hot Spot) with his ram attack.

From Bleachers, Monstereo ... uh ... doesn't know what just happened...

Firestar misses Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with its ram attack.

From Bleachers, A small alien hops up to Monstereo, and tries to use the confusion to sell the Junkion a really expensive hot dog

From Bleachers, Monstereo doesn't eat orphans. He passes.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > cruises a few circuits around the ring before James realizes prolonging things won't necessarily do him any good. He angles back into the melee in the ring, aiming for Markdown.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > strikes H12 Hummer < Markdown > with ram.

Exo-Tank Hermes < James Bailey > is deactivated under the fierce barrage of attacks.

"YEOW!" Quickswitch bellows, "Hey, what are you doing?" as his rear end recieves a solid impact and even moves a few feet, by Hot Spot. He moves, sharply, in reverse, and just so happens to head in the direction of that femme.

< Autobot > Firestar says, "awwww....looks like this is an all Autobot brawl now."

Quickswitch strikes Firestar with Instruments of destruction (eat this).

< Autobot > Firestar says, "WOO HOO! This is the MOST fun I've had in Cycles!"

From Bleachers, Monstereo nods to James. "Hola, vato!"

Drill Tank < Quickswitch > felt a smile coalascing in his circuits. That /was/ amusing.

Half of the people watching the event have gotten distracted. Half of the distracted people are distracted because of a new dancing routine that's started up on stage involving naughtiness. The other half of the distracted people are distracted by Blueshift and Monstereo having an accident competition. A competition that Blueshift seems to be winning. They aren't too sure what the asteroid thing is, though, so they are forced to ignore it. "Hmm," Kremzeek thinks regarding the tussle. "Blueshift better watch himself! Olympics not for fighting!... er... wait, Olympics /are/ for fighting, but not pointless fighting! Er... wait... they are, but..." Kremzeek hesitates. "Ok, he still better watch himself in case Olympic take away any medal he win!"

Looking back down at the arena, Kremzeek claps as James's maneuver ruins the tank. "Good good! Went out fighting. Kremzeek immmmpressed!"

Firetruck (Hot Spot) spins back around, noticing that the Exo-Tank has sputtered it's last for tonight's event. The Protectobot Commander lines up again with Quickswitch. He just rammed into a lady, without her consent! That's in breach of at least three different Terran laws as far as he knows... ...

Hot Spot misses Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with its ram attack.

Firestar zips around! "woo hoo! I'm havin too much fun to stop now boys! Hey markdown! You need to toughen yerself up too!" and she ZOOMS at him!

Firestar strikes H12 Hummer < Markdown > with ram.

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > chuckles to himself as he heads back out now for another burst of speed. He's still not doing too hot at all, but he's gonna try his best to see if he can try and possibly pull a medal out of this... and so he guns it once more, angling for... Hot Spot! He's giving it the old Second War try, it seems... and only time will tell the tale now...

From Bleachers, Monstereo sneakily moves a cup of warm water under Blueshift's hand and raises it so his fingers are dipped in it... and waits for the inevitable accident to occur.

Impulse misses Firetruck (Hot Spot) with his Golden Cybertronian Bullet! attack.

H12 Hummer < Markdown > urghs as the FEMME smashes into his rear fender, spinning him around. "Leave me alone, will ya?" he yells, before recovering and accelerating to make another pass at Impulse. "Gonna finish you off, buddy!"

Markdown misses Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with his ram attack.

Okay, the human is out of this thing--who's left? HEY--"FRAG IT, I /TOLD/ YOU--" his vocalizer runs ragged as he pushes off and away--back toward that femme.....

From Bleachers, FIVE MINUTES LATER

A group of paramedics with blankets crowd around Blueshift, who is now sprawled on the ground and shaking, covered with blankets

Quickswitch strikes Firestar with Instruments of destruction (eat this).

Firestar falls to the ground unconscious.

From Bleachers, Monstereo has no idea how that went wrong... but it's still funny. I don't care who you are.

"Hmmm," Kremzeek says, looking at the leaderboard. "Impulse have healthy lead, but he himself not looking to healthy! Better not get complacent, old speedy robot! Firestar have lot of ram also! She also dodge! And..." Impulse then evades Markdown. "Ok you have healthy lead again. Still not complacent! You prove to universe Kremzeek picked you torch bearer for reason!" Quickswitch them smooshes Firestar. There's a loud awww of disappointment from the peanut gallery. "Ok, even healthier..." Kremzeek admits.

Firetruck (Hot Spot) guns the gas, his rear six tires spin rapidly out on control as the vehicle makes it's way towards Markdown's current area. He's trying to be a fair combatant... ...after all, this doesn't need to be too serious. He flies forward, but notices that his girlfriend was just knocked out of the tournament by Quickswitch.

From Bleachers, The chief paramedic walks up to Monstereo, shaking his head. "I'm afraid your friend had a full scale fuel-leak meltdown. If he dies, we'll forward you the bill. We take Galactic Express"

Hot Spot misses H12 Hummer < Markdown > with its ram attack.

From Bleachers, Monstereo nods. "Bill me at Redshift @ Shift Brothers Asteroid Demolition Inc."

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > whips back out, just in a nick of time, it seems! "Whew, close one," he comments to himself, before calculating who's the best chance for success. Well... there's only one he hasn't gone for, in all honesty, and he might as well take a shot at him. Poor Quickswitch... here comes the gold, black and red trailing wake, right at the sixchanger!

Impulse misses Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with his Golden Cybertronian Bullet! attack.

From Bleachers, The chief medic ticks a few boxes and nods to Monstereo. "Okay Mr Shift, do you want our extra-expensive guarantee as well? It is the same as our normal guarantee, just more expensive"

From Bleachers, Monstereo smiles kindly. "Only the best for family."

H12 Hummer < Markdown > dodges Hot Spot for the umpteenth time today. "Too slow!" he yells, before trying to sideswipe him as he passes by.

Markdown misses Firetruck (Hot Spot) with his ram attack.

Yesss! The rest of the Autobots could call him whatever they liked, but when the femme went down, Quickswitch felt a vindicated triumph. He moved his battered tank form back around--only Autobots left--a sudden gold and black blurr whizzes right back him and he nearly transformed in surprise, "Wha--?!" Woah! What was that?! "Need to keep it steady..." he reminded himself quietly, "Now..." He cycled through this small assortment of targets and selected one. The other fire truck. His drill was really starting to hurt.

Quickswitch strikes Firetruck (Hot Spot) with Instruments of destruction (eat this).

From Bleachers, Monstereo nods to Firestar. "Hey Momma, hows tricks?"

Kremzeek glances at the leaderboard again. "Trouble not stop. Now Quickswitch closing in on leader! He only four hit away from leader! But real not matter of hitting other or avoiding hitting... it a matter of who left able to move at end of game." Kremzeek flails his arms around and addresses a camera drone as it zips past. "Down to just four contestant left. Next robot to fall get NOTHING. All other get medal!" WHAM! CRASH! Kremzeek looks behind him as Quickswitch drills into Hot Spot. "Now only THREE behind!"

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > hmms. His targetting is askew, and he's not getting the same speed he was getting at the beginning -- to be expected, given the serious damage he's taken in this matchup. But once... just once in this Olympics, he's hoping to try and come away with a medal. And so he suddenly angles in... right at Markdown! "Come on... hold together... hold together!"

Impulse strikes H12 Hummer < Markdown > with Golden Cybertronian Bullet!.

Markdown falls to the ground unconscious.

Firetruck (Hot Spot) gets rammed in the backside, puttering him forward towards a wall. The Protectobot Commander spits the tires into reverse and guns it for Quickswitch. < < Sorry fella... ...nothing personal, but you did beat up Firestar... > >

Hot Spot strikes Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with ram.

H12 Hummer < Markdown > grunts as the hover car hits him again, crumpling his front end like an accordion. "Unf... screw you!" he snarls. By the time he recovers from the attack, Impulse is long gone, and he can't see too well anyway, so he just drives for the closest target he can still see.

Markdown misses Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with his ram attack.

Quickswitch's side crumpled and buckled against Hot Spot's impact. His instinct, compelled by his frenetic processing was to transform and soundly smack the bastard into the ground, but he couldn't--

The zipping and whizzing blurr was a distracting annoyance to the assault unit's frenzied concentration, and Markdown misses him because he's off and away after Impulse!

Quickswitch strikes Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > with Instruments of destruction (eat this).

Impulse falls to the ground unconscious.

Kremzeek cheers and does a polka dance as Impulse puts an end to Markdown. "Hooray! We have our three medal winner, and Autobot will sweep it all!" There's another crash, and Kremzeek stops dancing. Looking down into the pit he sees that Impulse has gotten on the wrong side of Quickswitch. He shrugs and starts dancing again. "Hooray! We have top two medal winner!" he exclaims. "It now down to fire truck and drill tank. Since dawn of sentience, fire truck and drill tank have battled. Now they battle here for you, the viewer, to see!"

H12 Hummer < Markdown > is scooped up by the crane and plopped back into the safe zone. "Urrnnngh. Hurts so much."

From Bleachers, T-72 MBT corrects, "Sapience."

From Bleachers, Monstereo says, "Bless you."

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > was shocked and amazed... he... medaled?! He came into this event expecting to honestly be one of the first ones out... and he's got at least the bronze--

CRUNCH!!!

Impulse goes flying, slamming into the wall and hitting the ground, unmoving.

Well... there's Blueshift's 'accident'. And the crane drops down, picking him up slowly and lifting him from the pit.

From Bleachers, Impulse zooms into the room, leaving a blurry trail of gold and black as it passes.

From Bleachers, Monstereo nods to Impulse. "Bon fete!"

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, ".... uummmmm... soemndh... *static crackles* Uhhh... someone get the ID on the Cybertronic transport truck that just hit me?"

Firetruck (Hot Spot) spins out of control once again, lining up the six changer in his 'sights'. < < May the best 'bot win! > >

Hot Spot strikes Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with ram.

< Autobot > Marissa Faireborn says, "Drill Tank, actually."

< Autobot > Marissa Faireborn says, "And they won't stop showing replays of it..."

".../No distractions/..."" the assault unit repeats out loud, harsh and mencingly, fighting to order it own chaotic thought processes, all of which flooded it at once. Its drill was in imperfect condition, but that was of no concern to it at present. It took the force of the faster-moving firetruck full on, even charging forward to meet it.

Quickswitch misses Firetruck (Hot Spot) with its Instruments of destruction (eat this) attack.

Firetruck (Hot Spot) swerves out of the path rather quickly, circling the front end around again towards Quickswitch. The Protectobot Commander could care less who won at this point... ...the Autobot's have already made a clean sweep of the event... ...right now it's just for fun.

< Autobot > Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "Hey Guys!"

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "hey Raptor."

< Autobot > Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "How did the Derby go?"

< Autobot > Silverbolt says, "Still going on from what I hear."

< Autobot > Intel XO Impulse says, "Hot Spot and Quickswitch are battling it out for gold and silver... and amazingly... I got bronze. Full Autobot sweep."

< Autobot > Quickswitch utters harshly, "...No distractions!..."

Kremzeek doesn't bother saying anything at the moment and instead basks in the warming glow that is having a powder blue fire truck smash into a six changing tank with a gigantic drill at one end of it. The crowd meanwhile is starting to drunkenly chant. Half of them are chanting 'Blue truck!', half are shouting 'Not blue truck!', and half are shouting 'More dancers!' It is all very confusing.

Blue Femme says, "Not to this song, idiot!"

< Autobot > Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "Cool and go guys!"

Firetruck (Hot Spot) swerves out of the path rather quickly, circling the front end around again towards Quickswitch. The Protectobot Commander could care less who won at this point... ...the Autobot's have already made a clean sweep of the event... ...right now it's just for fun.

Hot Spot strikes Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with ram.

From Bleachers, Monstereo needs the Blue Femmes number.

It wasn't 'fun' that directed the Drill Tank's focus through and past his chaotic thoughts--of course it hurt, of course this was stupid!--the assault unit tried keeping the morass of his own thoughts at processing length, as the fantastic blue firetruck crunched into him with a loud crash and a series of unpleasent electric pops. It got the firetruck in its visual sensors, then closed the distance hard.

Quickswitch misses Firetruck (Hot Spot) with its Instruments of destruction (eat this) attack.

People are stamping their feet as Hot Spot takes a decisive lead in terms of momentum, smashing into Quickswitch twice while the six former fails to draw any blood on the Protectobot. It's looking like it's only a matter of time now, and Kremzeek clears his throat, getting ready to make his 'yay Protectobots' speech.

< Autobot > Cosmos says, "There were only a few Cons so they got knocked out early and now it is down to Hot Spot vs. Quickswitch."

Firetruck (Hot Spot) swings his aft end around quickly, letting the six changer sweep right past him towards the wall. The Protectobot Commander seizes the opportunity and follows up behind him, intent on impacting him against the wall.

Hot Spot strikes Drill Tank < Quickswitch > with ram.

Quickswitch falls to the ground unconscious.

From Bleachers, Monstereo lights the fireworks.

From Bleachers, ~fizzle POP fizzle~

From Bleachers, "I called it," says Blitzwing. "I totally called that blue truck guy for the winner."

From Bleachers, Raptor arrives just as it seems the events are ending, "Looks like the Protectobot lead won-- cool." He says softly as he takes a seat and sees what happens.

From Bleachers, "NOW you show up," Blitzwing exclaims, throwing a pretzel at Astrotrain.

From Bleachers, Raptor watches Blitzwing chuck a pretzel and smirks softly. He then shakes his head and dims his optics gently. The-- Olympics would be ending soon, wouldn't they? That means everything would go back to its insane normal self.

From Bleachers, "Worst, Olympics...EVER!" Astrotrain can be heard announcing from somewhere amongst the bleachers. Some seeker...you know, the random nameless type, makes the mistake of asking why, to which point the triplechanger responds by pushing him off the bleachers and crashing to the ground with a swipe of one large arm. "Cause I ain't been in them, that's why!"

From Bleachers, Raptor shakes his head and gently remarks up to Blitzwing, "Keep smaking around Seekers like that-- and you'll make my job easier in the future." He says with a playful grin.

From Bleachers, Monstereo pulls out a medical scanner and runs a check on Firestar.

From Bleachers, Monstereo goes to work on Firestar, bringing it back to consciousness.

From Bleachers, Monstereo has the touch.

From Bleachers, Firestar snerks awake and transforms! "Yeah! That's the....wait....what am I doing in the bleachers?"

From Bleachers, Monstereo helps adjust Firestar's gender from neutral to female while he's at it.

Impulse zooms into the room, leaving a blurry trail of gold and black as it passes.

Impulse moves to the Six Lasers Solar System.

From Bleachers, Raptor stands up and walks over to Firestar gently taps her shoulder, "I think you got knocked out." He smiles before he walks the rest of the way down and makes his way out.

Impulse zooms into the room, leaving a blurry trail of gold and black as it passes.

From Bleachers, Firestar begins work on Vector WX3 < Outrun > 's severe injuries.


 * ZZZZZKKKKT* Nothing but static and darkness admist his muddled thoughts as one final strike impacts the drill tank to the ground. The assault unit, surrounded by five other divergant thought processes at once, peers through static at the powder-blue victor. The event was not relevant. It was almost fun--..Is Impulse hurt--or the femme--? Who cares about the damned femme and man, did this ever smart. Ow. Headache too. This entire event was-- The drill tank somehow moved, treads crunching and bent, one final attempt at... what..? Finishing this.

Quickswitch misses Firetruck (Hot Spot) with its Instruments of destruction (eat this) attack.

Drill Tank < Quickswitch > then comes to a final, battered stop. A few pieces fall off of it.

"Yay Protect bot!" Kremzeek says, flailing his arms around. He hops from one foot to another foot in celebration before saying. "Hooray to the Autobots! HOT SPOT take gold medal! QUICKSWITCH take silver medal! And Autobot torch bearer IMPULSE take bronze! Ha ha, Kremzeek never gave up on you, Impulse! Kremzeek ALWAYS knew you winner! Oh, oh oh, you also win ramming & evading contest. For that you win prize! Autographed picture of me!" Kremzeek hands a picture of himself over to an aide. The aide rushes over to Impulse to give it to him. The picture is a glossy photo of the Kremzeek image in the middle of a dance. Hand-written with a black marker are the words 'Keep on Truckin' - Kremzeek'.

From Bleachers, Monstereo goes to work on T-72 MBT, bringing him back to consciousness.

From Bleachers, Monstereo has the magic touch. :p

Blue Femme smiles as Raptor enters and goes over to the bar.

Firetruck (Hot Spot) impacts hard against the battle-tank, crushing him against the wall... ...leaving him a ragged mangled wreck. Quickswitch falls to the ground unconcious after the collision, which means... ...Hot Spot won. That was an unexpected outcome... ...he thought the six changer would trounce him.

The Protectobot Commander quickly transforms into his robot mode and pulls out a med-scanner. "Oh my gosh... ...I hope your not too injured... ..." the scanner bleeps and boops running the diagnostic on Quickswitch's injuries. He pulls out a personal comm, "First Aid! I need you down on Planet XXX pronto... Quickswitch is injured... ...no, it's not what you think... ...No, I'm serious... ...No, the feisty blue femme did not 'KO' him... ...Will you just get down here already?"

From Bleachers, Monstereo is not as fast as the Autohealer... but yes, there it is.

Hot Spot changes into his robot mode.

Hot Spot pulls out a medical scanner and runs a check on Drill Tank < Quickswitch >.

Raptor moves to the Six Lasers Solar System.

Gold and Black Hovercar < < Impulse >  > moves down from the Bleachers now, fixed up after the end of his bout, and finds himself the recipient of... an autographed Kremzeek picture. He's not sure whether to shake his head or not... but finally he shrugs, thanking the assistant as he approaches to retrieve his bronze medal and wave at the crowds.

A flurry of shifting, twisting and contorting ensues as the sleek, streamlined form of a gold hovercar transforms into the Autobot known as Impulse.

Drill Tank < Quickswitch > is inert and unresponsive, thoroughly crushed against the wall.

Monstereo walks over and lays the healing hands on...

Monstereo pulls out a medical scanner and runs a check on Drill Tank < Quickswitch >.

Monstereo sees he is not needed, Quickswitch is just being a baby :p

Drill Tank < Quickswitch > is?

Check your self, dude. :p Yeah.

Drill Tank < Quickswitch > is perfectly fine now. Situation normal.

Drill Tank < Quickswitch > tap dances.

From Bleachers, Firestar begins work on Firestar's severe injuries.

Blue Femme smiles as Firestar enters and goes over to the bar.

Firestar bounces out of the bleachers! "HA! Now THAT'S what I call an EVENT!"