User blog:Revenant1367/Crusade's Chronicles - File 2

(( This is a character journal, hidden away from prying eyes - information contained within is not public IC knowledge. ))

I never thought being a hero (if I can even call myself a hero) would hurt this much.

This past week, I've gotten myself wrecked and put back together more times than I can count. I'm not regretting any of my choices, and it's not like I'm afraid of pain or anything, I'm used to it, but I just didn't think I'd be this...

Weak?

Nah, not weak. That's not the right word.

Outgunned, maybe.

Brawling with lazy guards and bored workers is nothing like fighting against trained Decepticon soldiers. The soldiers don't back down once I land a couple good hits on them, they put even more dents into me. They don't see some broken, pitiful slave when they look at me, they see an enemy. They're not trying to scare me into obedience, they're trying to kill me.

I never lost a fight in my daydreams. I always won and I always managed to rescue the hostages or defeat the bad guy, or whatever I was thinking about... and I never suffered a scratch. For some reason, I thought all of my battles would be like that. Kind of silly, now that I think about it.

It was dumb of me to assume that I'd be immortal in reality.

...

Shiftlock seems to want me to talk to her, or something, but I don't know why, or what she wants me to talk about. No one's really asked me to talk about myself before and I'm not sure what I should say.

I'll ask her next time she brings it up.

If she doesn't change her mind about it.