Terror on Planet XXX

Six Lasers - Planet XXX

Screw you guys, I'll build my own theme park! With hookers and blackjack! You know what, forget the theme park!

Technically a small asteroid, Planet XXX resides in the Six Lasers solar system's outer rim, tucked out of harm's way. A misshapen planetoid, this down and dirty attraction is usually not mentioned in the rest of the ads, as Six Lasers puts on a family friendly public front. Those interested will know where to find it.

The attractions themselves reside in a single domed fortress consisting of a docking bay with a discreet shuttle that arrives every hour, and the main entertainment area. Inside, the facilities resemble a crude strip joint, with all manner of exotic aliens and robots on display. Although the variety is immense, humanity's lack of a galactic presence has resulted in little in the way that a human would find sensual. It the very least it's amusing and/or gross. Planet XXX also has ready access to more liquor than anywhere in the system aside from Bar Moon. Shady dealings often take place here.

Nightbeat has arrived.

"I don't believe it! This is awful! Disgusting!" Raindance floats at the bar, a little straw extending into his nosecone as he sips at a drink. The drink is pink with an umbrella in it. There is some fruit at the bottom.

"They got Tom Cruise to play me in that new movie. What did I do to deserve that!"

Rodimus Prime's last pose: < None OR Private >

Volkswagen Beetle < Bumblebee > transforms and extends into Bumblebee, friend to all!

Rodimus Prime is a bit of an odd sight, as it's pretty hard for him not to stand out, well, anywhere he goes. This would be why the information transfer consisted of the target passing him a disk while moving by and him quickly tucking it away into a compartment. So why bring such a crowd along? Let's face it - events being what they are, morale is low, and Rodimus Prime can appreciate the occasional... morale raiser. At the moment, he's raising a mug of his favorite energon mix, called a comet, to his lips and raising his optics to what's going on at the nearest stage. At Raindance's outburst, he glances over. "Aaw, tough luck, Raindance. Better luck next time?"

Nightbeat comments, "Tom Cruise is a cyborg now, anyway. More machine than man. Tsk." He probably read that in a rag sheet. It doesn't make it false. The detective looks at the menu glumly, optic band settling upon his eponymous drink. What did /he/ do to deserve having /that/ named after him?

"I don't know, man. I mean, Tom Cruise is a great actor and everything," Powerglide says from a few seats down. He too is drinking a fruity drink but he pulled all the fruit out earlier because, well, he has a reputation to keep. Save. ....Make. He has a reputation to make and no one wants to be known as 'that' guy.

"But his teeth creep me out. He's just eerie. You know, kinda like you."

Raindance hovers there silently, then bleeps at the bartender. "Yeah, another round for the entire bar. Yeah, Powerglide's paying again."

He slowly rotates towards Powerglide. "I hear you are being played by Joanna Lumley"

Kup chuckles at Raindance as he lifts a mug of some undoubtedly potent brew. "Hahaha, ah, come on, Raindance. You remember how Tom Cruise got on Oprah last week, and he took off his pants and eh, he made 'em talk to everyone? And he wasn't wearing any shorts? Haha! Yeah, and the cyborg thing, and the fact he's so old now, that couldn't help. Yeah, I think he wants to play a pair of pants pretty badly, is my point."

"He's also your size!" chimes in Bumblebee from his stool. He has taken a few moments to spin around, on top of the stool, to occupy himself. "Whooh," he then sputters as his fingers attach to the bottom of his seat. "Dizzy!" His optics flicker and then he makes a face, "Who's Joanna Lumley? Show us a picture, Raindance!"

Nightbeat suddenly drops his menu and bolts - for the kitchen door? Whyever so?

Powerglide just stares at Raindance. "...Who the hell is Joanna Lumley? Is that some British actor?" He sips at his drink only to have it dribble down his faceguard. "How the hell do you know so much about Britain anyway?"

Rodimus Prime glances over at Nightbeat as he 'tsks' Tom Cruise's cyborg nature. "Something wrong with being a cyborg, 'Beat?" he asks, lip quirked into a faint grin. He blinks, however, as Nightbeat bolts off while he's talking to him, shakes his head, and takes another sip. "So do /all/ those enhanced hearing guys get like that sometimes?"

Bumblebee sticks out a finger, "I think he had one of his ammo canisters replaced with a jar of Marmite!"

Kup coughs as he watches Nightbeat dart off. "What the--you can't go in there, ya fraggin'--gah."

"Well it is the most perfect nation in the universe you see" Raindance opines back to Powerglide. "And Bumblebee, imagine a human who looks just like Powerglide. That is how old and ugly Lumley is. Wink." He says the word wink because he has no face with which to emote. He loudly slurps his girly drink through the straw.

"So uh, we won the war yet? I've been busy on /secret missions/"

Powerglide continues staring at Raindance. Then he reaches over and knocks his fruity umbrella drink off the bar counter. "OOOOOPS!"

"'Secret missions.' Riiiiight," Rodimus Prime answers, pretty sure he's know of any secret missions Raindance has been on. "And no, afraid not. We'll still busy with... an assortment of warrin- Powergl-" then Rodimus remember who's paying for that drink. "Nevermind."

"Oh. By Primus. NO!" cries Raindance, channelling the spirit of Gary Chalk. "You're going to replace that Powerglide, or I will kick you!"

"Oh." Bumblebee pulls his head back, stunned by this revelation of Joanne Lumley. He turns his head to look at Powerglide and flickers his optics. "Golly, that is pretty ugly!" Bumblebee then plants his palm against the counter, using it to hoist himself up high enough to catch the bartender's attention. "One energon nehi, please!"

Looking to Rodimus Prime, Bumblebee makes a disappointed face. "Hey Rodimus, you told us there'd be girls. So far, this whole outing has been a real transistor-fest." He places his lips together in a thin, squiggly line of sadness. His head sags down, "Jazz would've made good on his promise of women with loose armor panels."

Kup quickly chugs the contents of his mug with loud GLURK GLURK GLURK noises. "Ennnh," he grunts, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Yeah, 'course the war's still goin'. Ain't ever gonna stop, and I'm gonna hafta slug through every miserable year of it."

"Hey, hey Raindance." Powerglide leans in close to the floating triangle; eventually bumping his forehead against his cockpit. ".....Shut up." Then he takes his own drink and dumps it all over the mini-combiner.

"No Bumblebee!" Raindance pipes up. "Girls have transistors too, what are you..."

"Oh... oh Primus..."

Rodimus Prime reaches over without looking up at Bumblebee, grabs ahold of the edge of his stool, and gives it a good spin. After he's had the chance to spin around a few times he stops it, making sure that Bumblebee is now actually pointed /towards the stage/ that has the dancers on it.

Nightbeat comes back from the kitchen, escorted out by an irate-looking chef, and Nightbeat hollers, "I know you're putting chlorine in the energon so your satellites can track us from space!" He is unceremoniously deposited at Rodimus Prime's feet, trussed up by bendy straws. He then looks up and replies to Rodimus Prime's much earlier question, "Yes, but he's a cyborg to amplify his thetan energy tenfold. If he had a clue, he could be dangerous!"

"Whoooah--!"

Bumblebee spins around and comes to a stop, facing the stage. His optics go /wide/. "OoOooOoooOOOOooh!" He watches for a few moments, and then promptly gives Rodimus a nudge with his tiny black elbow. "Hey Prime, got any cred scrips? I think I know how to do it, I watched Cliffjumper do it once..."

Kup growls at Raindance and Powerglide, "Knock that off, you idiots! We're here to relax, not scrap with each other. Geeze. Why's it always the smaller Autobots that are the craziest? Eh. Maybe it's a good thing it ain't the other way around." He gives the two a good glare, then scans across the bar to where Rodimus pointed Bumblebee.

"Powerglide, stop wasting drinks," Rodimus says tiredly to one Minibot. To Bumblebee he says, a bit skeptically, "What, left all yours at home?" If he thinks that no one is looking (except Nightbeat, who's always looking), though, he will then try to palm Bumblebee a credstick. Finally, he looks down at Nightbeat. "Well, he doesn't, right? Have a clue, I mean?"

"Yeah, Raindance! Stop being an idiot! You..you idiot!" Pleased with his totally awesome ICE BURN, Powerglide turns his attention elsewhere with a smug 'heh'. "Yo! Barkeep! Get me another drink! This moron keeps spilling mine. Put it on my tab. The name's Hound."

Rodimus Prime clears his throat, then corrects, "Put it on /my/ tab." Screwing over one of his guys while he's around to witness it and protest is one thing. Doing it behind his back is another.

"...That's what I meant to say," Poweglide coughs.

Warpath has arrived.

"In fact..." Rodimus glances around, then gestures to the present Autobots. "Make that another full round for all of us."

Raindance bobs a bit lower at all this, bleeping. "Kup, Kup, tell us a story. Tell us of how you fought that horrid sea monster! Or the beetle-bats of Zygote-4. Or got cosmic rust off the blue femme. Anything!"

Blue Femme

You see the femmebot and see she is a marvel to behold. Her mostly blue body gleams brightly under the lights of the room. You wish you could walk over to her or at least wave in hopes she will see you. If you want to talk to her, you had better adress her as she isn't really bright nor wants to talk to too many bots. You can also offer to buy her a drink, and if you feel lucky ask her for a dance. Whatever you do, don't say 'prostibot' around her. (Pose all things and she may react to you, if she wants to.)

Nightbeat wriggles, trying to escape from those bonds of twisty straws, where he is tied up at Rodimus prime's feet. He snaps, "Tom Cruise /could/ be dangerous if he knew what he was doing. Given that he ain't got a clue, he's definitely dangerous!" Must escape from twisty straws and have free booze! Gnn!

Powerglide leans over to Rodimus and whispers (except he's talking normally so it really defeats the purpose) "Is Nightbeat /high/?"

Rodimus Prime sighs. Why do so many of the loonies end up in Intelligence? Rodimus takes another sip of his drink, then spins around his own stool to face the stage and answers Nightbeat, "Well, I'm sure you or one of your guys are keeping an eye on him." Then he shakes his head at Powerglide. "Just drunk."

"Oh, so, he's normal?" Powerglide waits for the to sink in. "Get it? Because he's a lush? Get it? Get it? Get it? Hyuk yuk yuk. Shut up, I'm hilarious." He stirs his drink around and hmpths.

Kup shrugs. "Eh, well, I could tell you about the Blue Femme, yeah, sure. She had the cosmic rust real bad, see. Had a vibrotool that was supposed to shake it off without hurtin' 'er, but it was still gonna be a tight fit in her chassis, so I had to make sure the vibrotool was lubricated real good. So I stick the thing in her and she starts squeeling, says it hurts too much and she wants me to stop. Then I remind her, ya know, if I don't use the probe to get this stuff off it's gonna spread through yer whole body. Then she meekly tells me to keep goin', so I do, all fraggin' night long." He takes a big drink from his mug.

"Afterwards, she sued me."

Powerglide just stares.

Rodimus Prime remains dead silent for a moment, not even looking at Kup. Finally, he turns back towards the bar, raises a finger, and says, "Another drink, please. Make this one a supernova."

Bumblebee looks from bound-Nightbeat to Rodimus and back. "Golly," he gulps. "..I think this was in a story I found on the Internet. It was very weird and disturbing." Twisting around to face the bar, Bumblebee hops up to flag the bartender down again. "After seeing that, I'm gonna need something stronger than an energon nehi! Give me a high-octane hydrofizz."

Bumblebee glances back to Nightbeat. He makes a face and looks to the bartender, "Make that a double."

He then overhears Kup. Bumblebee's brow crinkles, "..No. Make it a triple."

Nightbeat glares a death glare up at Powerglide and snaps, "I ain't high! And I ain't drunk either. Unfortunately." He finally settles on letting his head transform so that Muzzle can rid him of the twisty straws. Muzzle anwsers Rodimus Prime, "Of course we are keeping taps on Mr. Cruise, Chief. Why do you think he was selected to play Raindance? So we can keep tabs on him!" Then, he stares at Kup and falls silent for a good long while.

Kup looks around at everyone, baffled. "What? She had a condition! And I was tryin' to help her! Sheesh, you people probably think she had every right to sue me!"

Powerglide, who was mysteriously absent for the entire Headmasters thing, (he doesn't read his e-mails) falls off his stool in SHOCK and AWE when Nightbeat's head jumps off his body. "OH MY GOD! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! ZOMBIES! IT'S STARTING! OH GOD, WHY ISN'T ANYONE ELSE SURPRISED!?"

Bumblebee winces. "Powergliiiiiiiiiiide! Don't say the zed-word!"

Rodimus Prime doesn't answer Kup, for once. In fact, he appears to be trying conspiciously hard to seem like he doesn't even hear Kup. Then Powerglide starts yelling and Rodimus sighs. "No, Powerglide, his head's supposed to do that. That's Muzzle, the Nebulan Autobot."

"Your head can do that too" Raindance responds. "Go on. Try it. Just give it a good hard tug"

Rodimus Prime would rue how out of touch Powerglide is, but then he was recently asked by another of his troop who /he/ was. In relation to that, not knowing about Headmasters isn't too bad.

Nightbeat gets the zombie thing. All. The. Fragging. Time. And for this particular dead Detective, it's starting to get old. Real old. Yesterday. Then, Muzzle finally snaps out of the horror that has taken ahold of him as he heard Kup's story. Nebulan Autobot? Oh, Rodimus Prime is keeping to that story of his, that the Nebulan *master partners are to be accounted as Autobots? Huh. Don't that figure. He looks over at Powerglide and grumbles, "Pleased to meet you, too."

"AAAAGHOHMYGODZOMBIES!EVERYONE'SAZOMBIE!IT'STHEAPOC-Wait, Muzzle? His name is Muzzle?" Powerglide narrows his eyes and stares intensely at Nightbeat and his Pokemon. I mean, partner. Heheh. 'Partner'. "..And I thought Tracks was a bad name.."

As expert a marksman as Warpath is, he's a pretty terrible tracker. He got separated from the rest of the autobots on their way here! But through trial-and-error, he's finally caught up with them! "BAM! Hey there Prime, sorry 'bout th' gettin' lost an' stuff. Hey guys. Whut'd ah miss?" He gives Powerglide a friendly pat on his shoulder as a means of greeting.

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH. A gigantic slavering Meccannibal scutters up to Powerglide on huge spider-legs, fangs dribbling as it passes the Minibot a card. "YOU SCREAM WELL!" it booms. "HERE'S MY ROOM NUMBER. BRING CONDIMENTS." Then the alien scuttles off into the back of the bar

Kup glares at Powerglide, now that everyone has seemingly recovered from his harmless tale, and huffs, "Yeah? And what's so great about YOUR name? Don't even make any fraggin' sense. Never seen you glide anywhere." As Warpath arrives, Kup gives him a nod. "Eh, still got yer creds on ya, right?"

Muzzle looks up at Powerglide and comments, "Hey, /I/'m not the one named after, uh... probably the brand of /oil/," coughlubricantcough, "Kup was using on that Blue Lady, /Powerglide/." Muzzle totally sounds better in Nebulan, too. It's like Smith or Mason. He then stares at the Meccanibal. Uh. Nightbeat remembers those. Not good.

Rodimus Prime gives Warpath an absent wave of greeting. "Hey, Warpath. Haven't missed anything important. Just sit down, relax, enjoy yourself." Then he leans over, "Might want to skip Kup's stories tonight, though."

"Whuddaya mean, of course ah still got m'credits on..." Warpath starts patting around his hips and waist area. "Wait... WHO TOOK MAH SLAGGIN' CREDITS?!"

Powerglide reluctantly takes the card with a confused look on his face. Once the /thing/ passes, he looks at Raindance and snerks. "Heheh. Guess I'm gettin' lucky tonight. Unlike /you/, Rainbutt. Heheh." He tries his best to ignore Muzzle but his words cut deep. Powerglide manages to hold back a single tear..

Bumblebee stares as the Meccannibal gives Powerglide its number and passes by. "...Wowww." He tilts his horned head back to look up at Rodimus, "I take it back, Rodimus. Maybe you -do- know how to have a good time." For a dirty punk who got Optimus killed. Then Warpath shows up and Bumblebee's optics go wide. "Hey! Warpath! C'mon! I'm about to stick this credit that Rodimus gave me somewhere fun on one of the girls. You should come with. Everyone loves that giant thing sticking out of your chest that occasionally catches people in the visual module and blinds them horribly."

Kup holds his hands up, exasperated. "What was wrong with my story!? You people're actin' weird! Sheesh." Noticing his mug is full again, he quickly downs it in a matter of moments. "Woah, that's goin' right to my head. Yeah, and sorry about that, Warpath, but yer creds are long gone by now."

Rodimus Prime watches the Mecchannibal leave, then looks at Powerglide. He seems to be considering something for a moment, then finally shakes his head and throws back another drink. Then he stares at his empty mug. "Primus, Kup, these things are aweful. How do you /drink/ these all the time?" Then he glances over at Warpath. "How do you get pickpocketed when you don't have pockets?"

Meanwhile, Powerglide has moved onto bigger and better things. Right now, he's leaning over the stage and waving credits at one of the dancers. "Heheheh, hey baby! Check me out! I'm rich! I bet you're attracted to me now! Hey, how 'bout you show a little somethin' somethin'?"

"AH DON'T KNOW!!" Warpath yells, exasperated. "Magnets're sumthin? Ahdunno." He then turns to the excitable Bumblebee. "Y'mean mah turret." He makes his way over to his yellow minibot bretheren. "Slow down there, champ." Hopefully that's his only credit. He peers at the yelling Powerglide. Apparently minibots weren't meant to have currency on this planet.

"Wow" Raindance bleeps. "I guess THIS is the reason every civilised planet in the galaxy really really hates us"

Kup shrugs at Rodimus. "I dunno what yer talkin' about. This stuff is mild! Yer probably just not used to the quality stuff, like I am. Stuff'll that have lyin' on yer face in a matter 'a seconds. Ha! Why, once knew this bar in Xanaro where'd they serve this brew, man, one shot would put most guys out."

Nightbeat explains calmly, "Oh, it's easy to pickpocket subspace. Theoretically speaking. You just need an interdimensional trawl. Of course, the energy consumption would be enormous, but some extremely advanced species get bored." Muzzle finally frees Nightbeat from the menace of the straws and returns to his place as Nightbeat's head as the Detective sits up. He snaps his fingers. "Xanaro! Overrated."

"GIVE ME A LAP DANCE, DAMNIT!" Powerglide barks, shaking a fist at a now terrified hoo-I mean, dancer.

"No, that would be because our war tends to follow us everywhere we go and do untold damage, Raindance," Rodimus sighs, mood now turning a bit sulky. He snaps out of it as he realizes what he just said, and his optics dart around the room, as though expecting Decepticons to suddenly appear out of no where now that they've been 'summoned.' Then he eyes Kup. "I... think I'm good with stuff that /doesn't/ have me lying on my face. When I hear things like that, I have to wonder, 'what /kind/ of quality.'"

Nightbeat inquires, "So... you ain't good at lying on your face, huh, Chief? But... what if lighting our darkest hours need you ta lie on your face? What are we gonna do, then? Seems to me, we oughta go to Xanaro and rectify this lack in your training. Er. Chief." Or maybe Nightbeat just wants an excuse to tour the dive bars of the galaxy.

"I HAD NO PROBLEM HITTING A SMALL, HUMAN WOMAN I SURE AS HELL WONT HAVE ANY PROBLEM HITTING YOU!" Powerglide hollers at the dancers, still shaking his fists. He turns around and huffs. "Hey Warpath, give me more credits."

Rodimus Prime smirks at Nightbeat. "I am fairly certain that if 'lighting our darkest hour' ever involves me being flat on my face drunk..." He trails off for a moment, then continues, "we've got more problems going on than just the whole darkest hour business." There's another pause, then he adds, "Still, if you feel this is a serious gap in my education..." Then he glances back at Powerglide and mutters, "Next time, I'm ordering him to paint over the Autobot symbol before he goes out."

Kup slaps Rodimus on the shoulder, laughing, "Hey, you go to Xanaro, and have what I have, it'll be a pretty dark hour, all right! Ha ha!"

The Drinkalypse is coming, Rodimus Prime! Don't make light of it! Nightbeat snorts and grabs a drink, knocking it back without paying attention to what it is that Rodimus Prime ordered for him. The Detective points out, "Hey, the school of hard knocks may not be an accredited institution, but it sure is a better teacher than any classroom."

"I'm, erm, too young for any of our classrooms, or academies, or what have you," Rodimus admits, maybe a bit sheepishly. "The battlefield was pretty much my training ground. Although you can direct any complaints about holes in my schooling to this guy," he points at Kup. Then he tilts his head. "Or, well, the Matrix, I suppose." One wonders what the Wisdom of the Ancients has to say about taking a horde of Minibots to a strip joint.

Kup folds his arms over his chest. "Bah! Ain't no holes in yer tutelage, lad. You know everything you got to know. Anythin' else, you'll learn it when you need to."

Warpath sighs. "Ah juss' said I don't have any credits, Powahglide! Pay attenshun!" Warpath says, getting to-and-froed by the other two Minibots. "C'mon, stop hasslin' th' ladies. They're juss' tryin' t'pay fer space college, or whutever."

"Doesn't that mean I /don't/ know everything I need to know yet?" Rodimus asks, grinning as he takes another sip. He looks over, shouts, "Thank you, Warpath. By the way, you need a drink?"

Nightbeat needles, "So why's the kid a lightweight, boss? You didn't teach him how to knock 'em back?" And this would be why Nightbeat is going to be murdered by Kup someday. He can only hope to escape while Kup and Hardhead are fighting over who gets to do the honours.

"That's stupid. College is stupid. Huge waste of time. I mean, look at me.." Powerglide stands tall and proud, arms akimbo. "I never went to college and look how I turned out!"

"I am /not/ a lightweight!" Rodimus protests. "I just... uhm... I have better things to be doing than keeping myself in an overcharged state all the time!"

Kup raises a finger up at Rodimus Prime. He struggles to counter him but he's just so damn drunk, he can't think of anything. "I... dammit, lad! Don't contradict me like that! That ain't nice t' do to an old mech." Then Nightbeat hassles him. "I don't have ta teach him how to drink, dammit! He can learn that on 'is own, more fun that way!"

Increasingly, Kup looks like he's about to pass out. And the Blue Femme seems to be watching him intently for some reason.

"Errum." Warpath says, nervously. "Prolly best not t'use yerself as an example like that." He puts a hand on Powerglide's shoulder, firm enough that he doesn't mind dragging Powerglide if needs be. "C'mon, th' boss juss' offered us a drink." He makes his way over to Rodimus, and hopefully has a willing Powerglide travelling with him.

Nightbeat can concede that Rodimus Prime probably does have better things to do than getting himself blitzed, but, well... "...you aren't doing those things now, are you, chief?" He glances over at the Blue Femme. Does she have a restraining order on Kup or something?

Rodimus Prime kind of thinks Powerglide has had enough, but if it stops him from threatening to hit the dancers (hitting on the dancers is one thing. Hitting the dancers is something else entirely)... the young Prime grabs the attention of the barkeep, then gestures towards Powerglide and Warpath. "Whatever these two want." Then he looks over at Kup and frowns. "Erm... you okay, old man?" Then he glances at Nightbeat, leans over, and murmurs, "He hasn't had /that/ much yet, has he?"

Nightbeat looks up at Rodimus Prime from where he's sitting on the floor. (Hey. It's an... interesting vantage point.) He mutters to Rodimus Prime, "... he... had... many.... been... can... quick swab check..." On the other hand, Nightbeat's definition of 'a few drinks' is enough to kill most Transformers. Maybe he's not the best one to ask?

Reflector arrives from the Six Lasers Solar System.

Reflector has arrived.

The shiny points on Kup's optics go cross-eyed as he drawls out, "I'mmmm... kay. Ahhhh could have... lots more... than THIS..." As his head rolls about on his shoulders, the Blue Femme saunters over, and says, "Hey, guys, I'm an old friend of Kop here. Don't worry, I'll take him home. We have a LOT of catching up to do." That last bit sounded rather ominous.

"Well, see you later," she says, then grabs Kup under his arms and begins to drag him away, albeit slowly.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Rodimus interrupts, standing up. Didn't Kup /just/ say something about having been sued by a blue female. "You're not going anywhere with him, miss!" he challenges sternly.

Warpath has left.

"Woo! Shake it baby! Shake it!" Powerglide struts his stuff onstage, totally upstaging the real dancers. "Mm! Mm! Mm! Yeah!" He pelvic thrusts his way from one side to the other. "WORK IT! Ugh! Yeah! Ladies, y'all wish you were as good as me! Mmmmmhmmm! Giiiirrrrrllll!"

Nightbeat raises one finger to his nose and watches the Blue Femme try to haul Kup off. How very interesting. Interesting in the kind of way where you wake up tied to a chair and then a pretty lady tries to beat you with a rubber hose filled with bars of soap. Not that that kind of thing ever happens to Nightbeat. The Detective rises up into into a crouch, leaning over on one hand, ready to move. Maybe Kup /was/ drugged?

Reflector moves to the Six Lasers Solar System.

Reflector has left.

One of the patrons whistles, and tosses Powerglide a credstick.

Powerglide catches it and begins to rub it on his chest. "Mmm, yeah! Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" He wiggles awkwardly and continues to prance around like a sparkly fairy.

Nightbeat cannot unsee what he is seeing (or unhear what he is hearing, more importantly), and it pains him. He grits out, "Why doesn't the Geneva Convention prohibit Powerglide? Surely mustard gas is kinder...

The Blue Femme looks around shiftily. "Um, uh, well, he's very SICK, sir. He has the "cosmic rust," and I need to get it off of him or he'll die or something? Yeah, and I have JUST the tool for it." That sounded pretty ominous too.

Meanwhile, Kup throws a half-dazed thumbs-up to Powerglide. "Yuh, shhhhhake it, darlin'... work that chassis..."

"Hell, yeah!" a shout from the audience can be heard at Powerglide's question. People seem to be slowly moving away from this guy doing the guy doing the shouting and giving him odd looks.

Rodimus Prime crosses his arms and levels a look at the blue robot. "And so, uhm... how do you know so much about, erm, cosmic rust?"

Powerglide pulls out a set of keys and throws it over his shoulder. "Uh oh! Looks like I dropped something!" He then turns around and sloooowwwly bends over to pick it up. Considering the drinks he's consumed have barely any alcohol, it's a mystery as to why he's acting like he chugged down an entire liquor store.

"Work that cone! Work it!" shouts the weirdo in the audience. Perhaps someone using Powerglide as a stand-in for his conehead fetish?

Nightbeat can only assume that this is how Powerglide naturally acts, and he is vaguely nauseated. C'mon, give him a robot strangled with his own jumper cables and strung up with his own headlights as mood lighting any day over this. He tries to focus on the Blue Femme, and he asks, "Miss, is it true that you levelled a suit against the... uh... inebriated Autobot in question?"

Kup would have an answer to why Powerglide is the way he is were he more coherent. "Thaff great, work it, urrrrh," he grunts.

"Well, I dunno, I had the cosmic rust once, so I guess I know a little," the Blue Femme says. "But then when I got treated for it..." She looks like she's about to cry, but can't since she is a robot. "...oh, geeze, it was so horrible! And I totally sued the guy who did it, Gawd!" She shakes her head at Nightbeat. "Huh? No, this guy's totally my friend!"

"Well, he's my friend, too, and you're not taking him anywhere," Rodimus answers sternly. "We've got our own medical facilities. In fact, I've been known to stand in as a tech myself." The Rodimus thinks about something, his optics widen, and he glances down. "Although I am totally not treating him for cosmic rust. Maybe I can recruit Dee-Kal for that, or something."

Powerglide struts on over in front of Kup and restarts his totally awesome dance routine. It's just as terrible as you cna imagine. In fact, it's so horrific and disgusting that it causes the dancers to flee the building screaming.

Nightbeat suddenly lurches up into a standing postion from the crouch he was in, points a finger a the Blue Femme, and shouts, "Hah, caught in a lie, Miss Femme! This /is/ the guy you sued! He just admitted it earlier." And mentally scarred Nightbeat's Nebulan partner, though Nightbeat doesn't really get why Muzzle is so freaked out.

Kup tries to dance with Powerglide, but he's so out of it and in such an awkard position, what with being held up by a somewhat ditzy female robot, his dance really just amounts to him waggling his forearms around. "Yeah, jjjjjthat's the way.... work dat turbo boosta."

"Uh, well, I think I can treat it, too! I saw Karp do it once, so I can do it too, 'kay?" the Blue Femme says. As Nightbeat calls out her deception, she stares at him blankly. "Like, what?"

"Yeaaah! Turn my swag onnnnnnn! Mhmmm...somethingsomething..Yeaaah we gettin' monneeyyy..or somethig." Powerglide does his bending over thing again, except this time he wiggles around in Kup's face.

LOOK, RODIMUS! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE CAUSED.

Rodimus Prime finally turns back towards Powerglide and Kup. "All right. Both of you stop. You're making me very ill." Then he looks back towards the Blue Femme. "And no. As... much as he's starting to deserve it, you can't have him."

Rodimus Prime is totally going to use this to mock Kup later, though.

Nightbeat likes it better when the people he catches lying are a bit... less ditzy than this. He also likes it better when Powerglide is not dancing and singing. What Nightbeat likes and what actually happens are rarely the same thing. His hands ball into fists, and he snaps, "Listen, you ditzy dame! You're a liar, and that means you're up to no good! You think you can slink around in your blue paint, take advantage of men - you got another thing comin', sister."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Woo! This was a great idea! I'm havin' a great time!"

< Autobot > Nightbeat says, "I am not drunk enough for this."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Woooohooo!"

< Autobot > Rodimus Prime makes a pained noise.

< Autobot > Bumblebee hiccup, "Me neither."

The Blue Femme gets really angry. Thwarted! Why can't they just stare at her blue painted fanny like everyone else and let her do what she wants to? "FINE! You people think I'm lying, well, screw you too! I don't want him anyway!" she shrieks, then shoves Kup away from herself.

At Powerglide.

< Autobot > Rodimus Prime says, "Right. As soon as we get this business straightened up, I'm buying everyone another round. I think we need it. Except Kup. He's had enough."

< Autobot > Kup says, "Nwaaaahhhgh."

< Autobot > Nightbeat says, "I'll drink his drink for him, chief. Take one for the team."

"Woah woah woah HEY!" Powerglide barks as Kup gets all up on his butt. "That is /NOT/ cool!"

"...You have to pay extra for that sorta thing.."

Nightbeat sighs as the Blue Femme leaves, leaning heavily against the bar. Hate to see her go, but love to see her leave, if you know what he means. Nightbeat shakes his head and proclaims, "Dames. Can't trust 'em. They come on so sweet and helpful, and then BAM, you're playing prison guard. Or you got Cosmic Rust. Or..." Someone should probably shut up Nightbeat. He can go on for hours.

Rodimus Prime covers his face with both hands and heaves a huge sigh. "Or in compromising positions with Powerglide?" he supplies helpfully to Nightbeat. Then reaches down to try to pull the old mech off the Minibot. This is getting entirely too creepy.

Nightbeat exclaims, "Or in compromising positions with Powerglide. That too!"

Powerglide continues to wiggle, "Hey, boss-man! You want in on this? C'mon, it's on the house!" He turns around and begins to do the Carlton.

Kup mutters, "Whu thu hull," and waves his arms around as he is peeled off of Powerglide. "She was diggin' me, Hot Rod, that ain't right. Frag, at my age, that's kinda a compli... complim... sumthin' good."

Rodimus Prime looks pained. "You two have just provided me with nightmare fuel for years to come. Thank you," he says dryly before leaning real close towards Kup's audio sensor. "Kup..." he hisses in a whisper, then his voice raises to a powerful shout, "/THAT'S POWERGLIDE!!!/"

Nightbeat snaps, "Kup, she wanted to 'treat you for Cosmic Rust'! Last I checked, that /ain't/ pleasant." Argh, he is far, far too sober for this. Where is that other round Rodimus Prime promised? He claps his hands over his audios as Rodimus Prime shouts. Ooooow!

Powerglide sits on edge of the stage, one of his legs crossed over the other. He fans himself with a hand and sighs, "Ahhh...yeah...we have fun. We have soooome fun."

Rodimus Prime decides he's /not/ going to mock Kup about this later, after all, because in order to do so he has to dredge up too many horrifying memories of his own.

Kup looks weakly at Nightbeat. "I... I got the rust? Ah, frag, gonna... hafta get treated fer that." Then Rodimus screams a horrific revelation into his audial sensor. "...what!?" he yells as his optics fly open. "That was... P-Powerglide!? That fragger--I oughta kill him!" He struggles to break free of Rodimus, though really all he can manage is a pathetic squirm. "I'll fraggin' strangle 'im!"

Blue Femme rolls her optics.

Nightbeat pinches the bridge of his nose and says slowly, "Kup. You. Do. Not. Have. Cosmic. Rust. The skirt was /lying/. Because she is what we call a 'liar'. Broads do that. Go fig."

Powerglide crosses his arms and frowns most dissaprovingly at Kup and his drunken rage. "Tch, c'mon...I wasn't /that/ bad. Besides, if anyone should be mad, it's me." He points a finger at Kup accusingly, "You didn't even pay me!"

Rodimus Prime doesn't let Kup go try to strangle Powerglide, though he does switch to holding the pathetically squirming old mechanoid back with one hand. With the other, he slams a credstick on the bar, tells the barkeep, "One more for these two," pointing to Powerglide and Nightbeat, then tries to hoist Kup over his shoulder. Carefully, so as to avoid his spoiler. "Come on, old man, I'm getting you back home before you do anything else to take years off of /my/ life. I'm carrying an empty, impressionable Matrix, you know. I should probably limits its exposure to something this kind of stuff." Oh, yeah. Too bad he didn't think of this /before/ he organized the trip. To Powerglide, he says, "Quit trying to take advantage of the drunk, crazy old coot, Powerglide."

"Whaaat? Meee? Take advantage of Kup?" Powerglide shakes his head and laughs. "What kind of Autobot would I be if I did that?"

Nightbeat orders himself a whole punchbowl. It's /one/ punchbowl. That's /one/, right? As soon at the punchbowl arrives, Nightbeat dunks his head in it. Thaaaaat's better. He surfaces and drawls, "You'd be you, Powerglide." Then he dunks his head back in the punchbowl.

"The kind you usually are," Rodimus answers Powerglide.

"Touche," Powerglide says, clapping his hands. "Touche."

Kup is easily slung over Rodimus's shoulder, though he continues to ramble on. "I'll pay ya... I'll pay ya with MY FISTS! Gonna rip out yer fuel lines an' string ya up with 'em! Then I'm gonna kick ya around til the sun goes down. Maybe I'll go on a planet where's more than one sun, an'.... it'll never go down! Yeaaah. Kick ya forever!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Guys, I don't feel safe around Kup anymore."

< Autobot > Rodimus Prime says, "Stop asking him for money."

< Autobot > City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Why is this, Powerglide?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "....But he owes me."

< Autobot > Rodimus Prime says, "I just bought you a drink. I /highly/ suggest you call it even."

< Autobot > Nightbeat says, "Yeah, and don't send anyone to Hell. Y'know. He gets tetchy about that."

< Autobot > Red Alert says dryly, "Imagine /that/."

Powerglide is starting to look geniunely frightened by Kup now. He reaches over to grab his drink and guzzle it down immediately to help forget the fact that Kup wants to murderize him.

Rodimus Prime heads towards the exit, codger slung over his shoulder. "Calm down, Kup. You were drugged. And not by Powerglide." Then he pauses, glances back at Powerglide and Nightbeat, and adds, darkly, "At least, it better not have been him."

Powerglide looks away from Rodimus and chugga chugs his drink.

Were the Blue Femme and Powerglide working together? The world may never know.

"Fraggin'... kill.... slowly..." Kup drawls out, and slowly but surely loses consciousness.

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "But seriously, I am in fear for my life."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Whoever stands guard infront of my door for the next week will be paid in ShamWOWs."

Nightbeat finishes guzzling his punchbowl and remembers something. He saunters over to Kup's... cups and takes swabs from the cups, checking to see if Kup was indeed drugged or if Kup just isn't holding his energon, like some kind of pansy. he plus the swabs into a handheld chemical analysis machine and waits for the results, brighter of optic band than perhaps he should be.

< Autobot > Nightbeat says, "I think that is a job for... Warpath."

< Autobot > Noah Wolfe says, "Got any slapchops?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "What...what are you implying?"

< Autobot > Rodimus Prime says, "That Warpath accepts ShamWOWs."

< Autobot > Nightbeat says, "Warpath has the, uh, assets for the job."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Oh."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Well, yeah."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Duh."

Rodimus Prime is now out of here. Exit, one Prime and one unconscious Kup!

< Autobot > Noah Wolfe says, "Heh, he's got a big gun?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "It's huge!"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Have you seen it?"

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "It's like, 'wow!'"

< Autobot > Noah Wolfe says, "...no, I haven't."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Well, I mean, it's hard to miss."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "It's pretty big."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "Wait, I mean."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "It's /not/ hard to miss."

< Autobot > Powerglide says, "I see it everyday and it still looks huge to me!"

Nightbeat doesn't follow his Commander in Chief. Instead, he sticks around. He's got a mission, straight from the top: find out who drugged Kup's cup! That, and this means he can get to the bottom of the mystery of the chlorine in the energon.