Blockade Intro: Decepticon Side

Summary: Meet Pz-Zazz! And its little monkey, too. Mostly the same as Blockade Intro, only from the Decepticon perspective.

&lt;KNUJ&gt; Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqU_0xpILIU"

&lt;KNUJ&gt; Monstereo says, "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KklGBOMRISc"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Brigand says, "Attention all Decepticons! This is an emergency!...we've got big trouble on Pz-Zazz. I repeat, this is an emergency!!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Dr. Excise says, "There is no way that's a real planet name, Brigand."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "What is the matter, Sweep?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Brigand says, "Uh...sure it is. Pz-azz is where we get half of our contraband and a big chunk of our weapons and energon. Wait, did I not ever mention that before?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Cutthroat says, "HrrrAWK! What am trouble, am being thing to burn, to cut, to maim?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Another protection racket job?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Dr. Excise says, "Oh... oh! Right, I forgot that. Yes, it is indeed where we get half of our contraband and a big chunkof our weapons and energon. My apologies, Sweep."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Brigand hurries on. "Yes! Only this one is more than just a protection racket. This place directly supplies us with guns, ammo, and everything else you could ever want but can't find on most civilized law-abiding planets."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Sounds too good to be true."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Dr. Excise says, "I'd love to help, Brigand, but I'm down for repairs."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Dr. Excise says, "...hintity hint hint."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Brigand says, "Well, maybe it IS too good to be true. Because now there's some kind of problem there, with gangs. Business is down! Violence is up! If we don't do something, they might try to muscle us out!" his voice grows cold. "And nobody muscles out the Decepticons."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Big-Brother-Sweep Sunder says, "Indeed, my brother."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Cutthroat says, "We burn, we rip, we tear?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert has encrypted this channel.

The Autobot channel has been encrypted.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "Attention, Autobots. I... I... well, really, I'm /amazed/ I haven't heard of this before."

&lt;Autobot&gt; First Aid says, "Hello Red. Whatever it is, we'll help you."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "Hmph. That's always the way. Aliens just can't defend themselves. Where is this place, Brigand? We'll put down any violence against our properties... with MORE VIOLENCE."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Kup says, "What is it?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Brigand says, "Transmitting co-ordinates now!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Cutthroat says, "RAAAAAWK Cutthroat hate everything but Cutthroat like violance!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "Well, I mean, I /knew/ about the crime on Pz-Zazz, granted. What I /didn't/ know that they are a major supplier to the Decepticons of guns, ammo, energon, and other supplies."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "And violence likes you, too, Cutthroat. Decepticons... move out!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "But apparently there's a problem going on there with the local gangs, and their supply is being threatened. Repeating co-ordinates now: &lt;transfer noises&gt;."

&lt;Autobot&gt; The gruff voice of Crosshairs says, ".... interesting."

&lt;Autobot&gt; The gruff voice of Crosshairs says, "Red Alert, if you get a few, drop by the munitions bay soon. I'd like to work with you on this one."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Turntail says, "Wha-? Who would willingly ally themselves with -those- creeps?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Talazia Keldahoff says, "You'd be surprised Turntail."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "Very very greedy people, for one thing, Turntail."

Central Aerospaceport - Pz-Zazz

The bustling gateway of the masses, the Central Aerospaceport is reminsicent of old train stations in architecture. People pour in and out of Pz-Zazz by the droves daily, some to seek their fortunes, some to escape from the rat race. Even the redeyes are packed. The staff are all quite jaded, and they know the fruit cake trick.

Obvious exits: East &lt;E&gt; leads to Industrial Zone - Pz-Zazz. Northeast &lt;NE&gt; leads to Slums - Pz-Zazz. Southwest &lt;SW&gt; leads to Port - Pz-Zazz.

Up &lt;U&gt;

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "Erm, I'll see what I can do, Crosshairs, but you're not exactly accessable for me at the moment."

&lt;Autobot&gt; The gruff voice of Crosshairs says, "We can change that easily enough, Lad. I'm a supply officer though, in copulation with being an armorer. This sort of thing is right up my alley."

Cutthroat has arrived.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "Ah, yes, I suppose it would be."

&lt;Autobot&gt; First Aid says, "What can we do to help, Red?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Turntail says, "Very very greedy people aside, what sort of gangs are we dealing with? Militia types, or petty thieves - that's what I'm getting at."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Rodimus Prime says, "Kup, I need you to look into this for me. I'm not able to leave Earth at just this moment, but I want bodies on station /yesterday/."

&lt;Autobot&gt; The gruff voice of Crosshairs says, "Point me where to go, Kid, and I'll be there."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "More petty thieves, Turntail. Mobsters, that sort of thing."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Kup says, "Yes sir. All right, you heard the bot. I want all available Autobots to pile into the Orion Pax! Then we're gonna swing by this Pazzle place or whatever the frag they called it and blast the Decepticons in their damn faces."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Talazia Keldahoff says, "Kinda like Capone and the Mafia, huh?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; First Aid says, "What is their working relationship with Monacus, if any, Red?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Rodimus Prime says, "Well, Crosshairs, for now I'm pointing you towards Kup. A fast enough shuttle should have you there in no time."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Red Alert says, "Miss Keldahoff: that's a pretty good comparison. First Aid: They're competitors."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Talazia Keldahoff says, "Sounds like you need to pack your Chicago Typewriter, Kup."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Kup says, "What the frag would I do with a typewriter?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Talazia Keldahoff says, "It's a nickname, Kup. the .50 Caliber Thompson machine gun with 50 round drum.  nicknamed the 'Chicago Typewriter'."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Kup says, "Oh. Because... oh, right. Well. I prefer lasers. And acid. It's my thing."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Turntail says, "Heh, there are are Crosshairs. Your first project."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Talazia Keldahoff says, "perhaps when you get back I'll show it to you. it's a really neat weapon."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Jayson Redfield says, "Psssh. I'll leave the lasers to you Autobots and just stick with my Desert Eagle."

Catechism has developed a twitch in her left optic as the Aerospaceport Security manhandled her after she landed. Maybe it would have been worth bribing the tower controls to land at that private spaceport north of here... and yes, of course, she had to threaten them to get through at all. It's just that her pulling out acid shells was met by a Tommy gun held between her optics. Finally through, she clenches her fists and exclaims, "Okay, fine! Everyone, we're going to try to hook up with some of our contacts on this scummy planet."

The Cybertronian Tunnel Parrot suddenly begins to transmorphatize itself into the form of Cutthroat!

&lt;Autobot&gt; Kup says, "So this is who I got, huh? Alright, then. It'll have to do for now."

Brutal, harsh, oppressive, and utterly corrupt... Cutthroat felt right at home. He himself had picked up a long coat and a fadora somewhere. Maybe it was off a corpse. "When find contact, what do?" wondered the green and baige fellow as he followed Catechism. "We break finger, remove limb? Best let know that we are meaning buisness." he suggested.

Catechism suddenly feels like she should be in a slinky little black dress with a veiled hat over her cone, and... she has no idea why. The ex-Seeker makes a face and rubs her chin, trying to decipher this urge that has entered her head. "Yes, we need to show these petty gangs that we mean business!" She smacks a fist into her palm for emphasis.

Cutthroat nods in agreement. He knew well the importance of a show of strength in such enviornments. Just like back in the underground. His hand drifted into the fold of his coat and drew out the double-barreled magnetic weapon. "We show now, make body count, easier to push when know you mean buisness!" he declared, looking around for the biggest sucker he could find to inflict the painful effects of his weapon on.

Catechism thinks that maybe, just maybe, the Aerospaceport is not the best place to start picking a fight. The guards seem rather well-armed here, given that they're used to dealing with the locals. She tries to grab Cutthroat by the trenchcoated elbow, and she suggests, "Let's go outside. I hear this place has a black market to put Carbombya to shame." You move northeast to the Slums - Pz-Zazz.

Slums - Pz-Zazz

Broken glass, rubbish in the streets, collapsing roofs, and potholes, this place is the pits. It's not even worth it for the arsonists to torch these places, though some try anyway. The people here live in fear of their landlords, the mobs, and each other.

Obvious exits: Northeast &lt;NE&gt; leads to Shopping District - Pz-Zazz. Southwest &lt;SW&gt; leads to Central Aerospaceport - Pz-Zazz.

Cutthroat arrives from the Central Aerospaceport - Pz-Zazz to the southwest.

Cutthroat has arrived.

Cutthroat offered little more then a sincere threat on Catechism's life for the tug-a-long that had him following in his foot steps. It's just aswell, though. Now he finds himself in a place he is not quite so intimidated by. The fear, the shear weight of it in the air putting him at a strange ease, "rwk Contacts am here?" asks the terrocon, as he trudgers along over glass and space-hobos.

Catechism doesn't care about threats on her life! Americon is already trying to assassinate her. Maybe she just really angers bird-type Decepticons. She puts one hand on her hip, gestures around at the poverty and despair, and notes brightly, "Right! I don't think anyone will miss anything or anyone here." Then, she shakes her head and looks back over at Cutthroat. "Black market for the contacts, I think. Thought you just wanted to wreck stuff?"

She.. she actualy listened? Cutthroat regarded Catechism suspiciously for a moment befor producing that weapon once more. He waited to see if it was some trick or nefarious plot to be sprung... but he couldn't quite resist the urge. One eye kept on her and another finding a target, Cutthroat took aim and pulled the trigger. His weapon worked quick and nasty, a empty that had thought to make a life for itself off of Cybertron found it's entire body suddenly forcefuly divorcing itself from the rest of it's anatomy, every single metal bit of his being charged with opposing polarities. There was choked, distorted cries of pain... and Cutthroat felt a sudden warm comfort wash over him.

Part of getting people to follow is the principle that, if a trooper is just going to ignore you, you may as well let him do what he was going to do anyway, just pointed in more or less the correct direction. Catechism watches impassively as Cutthroat vents his violent urges, standing in a battle stance, ready for someone to step in and say that this is their turf. Nothing yet, no one cares about empties, though the screams do send some of the vagabonds edging away from the pair of Decepticons.

Nothing, no trick, no trap, no electro-whip across the back. Just permission to kill something. He shot the very same empty several more times, enjoying the sound of metal as it tore itself apart. He'd had his fun and gotten to use his nasty little weapon for the first time in a long while. Sated, he latched the weapon back over his aft and turned to Catechism who seemed very ready to take a choppa to some fool's dome. Were he not suce a hateful, violent, vicious, and cold-hearted thing he might feel something akin to love... Or at the very least, robo-lust.

Catechism isn't that subtle, really. Her idea of a trick is to put a bomb into somebody's recharge berth. She moves around to stand behind Cutthroat and turns her back so that her back faces the Terrorcon. Perhaps it is an unwise move to turn her back to him, but she doesn't want anyone sneaking up on them, certainly not that little monkey-alien with the accordian. She just barely manages to grab the simian alien by the tail as it tries to put a hand into the pocket of Cutthroat's trenchcoat. As the creature chatters angrily, she notes dryly, "You look look a rich man, I suppose, Cutthroat."

Cutthroat hadn't even noticed the dangerous little monkey theif in his state of confusion and delight. He looks to his pocket where the monkey hand once was befor looking back to Catechism. Gears rolled and clicked for a moment befor he realized that the simian was trying to take something from him. His crimson optics gleamed in newly reborn anger. "Monkey think Cutthroat am stupid, think Cutthroat easy target!?" he railed angrily. "Cutthroat think Monkey look like-" he begain, halting only to transform, shredding his coat in the process.. but somehow managing to have the fedora land on his avian head at a jaunty angle. " rrrawk Barbacue!" and there was a gout of flame from his beak.. and maybe even the glorious smell of burned monkery fur and cooked meat.

Cutthroat: Terrorize! Cutthroat suddenly transforms into some kind of... birdy... thing!

Kup arrives from the Central Aerospaceport - Pz-Zazz to the southwest.

Kup has arrived.

First Aid arrives from the Central Aerospaceport - Pz-Zazz to the southwest.

First Aid has arrived.

Crosshairs arrives from the Central Aerospaceport - Pz-Zazz to the southwest.

Crosshairs has arrived.

Turntail arrives from the Central Aerospaceport - Pz-Zazz to the southwest.

Turntail has arrived.

Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck follows along after Kup, heading for the slums. "Don't let it get to you too much, Kid. I've a feeling we'll see a whole lot worse before our stay on this little hive is complete." And with that, he floors it!

Swindle has arrived.

Catechism is standing in the middle of a road near the spaceport, and she drops the monkey thief as soon as Cutthroat decides to demonstrate improvisational cooking. The flaming monkey thief screams and chatters, "Offworlders! Know nothing! Not even see what behind them, kekeke!" Catechism frowns and turns an arm gun on the flaming monkey thief, nailing him with a crippling shot the knee as he tries to run off. She looks over at Cutthroat and smirks slightly, suggesting, "Mr. Cutthroat, if you'd be so good as you demonstrate what we do to pickpockets in the Decepticon Empire?" Maybe it's a different 'behind you' that the thief meant...

Cybertruck &lt;Kup&gt; comes a roaring in, weaving in and out between the careless vagrants and bums wandering aimlessly through the streets. "Get outta the way, you fraggin' morons!" he yells. Down the road he charges, fast as he can--is it too late to save the flaming monkey thief they don't even know and probably wouldn't care to?

Cutthroat eagerly obliges Catechism in her request, falling forward to support himself on his wing limbs, scrutinizing the burned, shot, monkey theif. His had turns this way and that, peering at the simian like a chef would a slab of meat, wondering where to begin, or what cut of meat to take first. Then he laid in like a hungry animal. It's unpleasent, there is the snapping of bone and rending of flesh, the monster careful to avoid what he understands as vital areas. Death by inches.

Swindle has, incidentally, hired a monkey to go around pickpocketing people for him. He's watching from behind a nearby street vendor stand, with binoculars. "Ooh, that's not good," he says to himself.

Saleen S7 Turbo roars in from the direction of the shuttlepad with its fellow Autobots, the sleek metallic blue of its chassis reflecting little but the grime, and neon lights of the overpopulated world. Inwardly trembling, the Terran sportscar pitches forward, and pulls on the brakes, sending the car into a forward flip as the vehicle bends, molds and clicks into the proud figure of an Autobot warrior, landing inches from a passing family of moustachio'd cockroaches. Holding his pistol high, Turntail points for the floating bird thing. His finger trembling ever-so-slightly, but making a good show of it. "L-Leave that creature alone! You've had your fun, Terrorcon" Wow. He'd regret this, he just knows it. Still, always good to make a good show of it.

With a series of clicks and whirrs, the car's chassis slides and molds into a new shape as a robot rises up from the sportscar.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Swindle says, "No, no, eat truck, not monkey you idiot!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Cutthroat says, "Rrrk?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "What do you care about the monkey, Swindle?"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Swindle says, "Nothing why do you ask I mean WHAT monkey!"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Catechism says, "That is a very strange comment to make out of nowhere, Swindle!"

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; is somewhat more careful than Kup, but not too much so. A poor innocent (well probably not, First Aid knows, but it doesn't matter) monkey thief is being tortured by the Decepticons, and the Protectobot is determined to get there as fast as he can in an attempt to save him. The ambulance's siren is blaring so vagrants know to get out of the way. This does not work. The cannon on his roof, however, works much better. Go figure. Like Turntail, his guns are trained on the Terrorcon. "What he said," he says, echoing Turntail's sentiments.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Swindle says, "Yes, it most certainly was!"

Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck is right there along with Kup. Inanimiate obstacles are really nothing to his armored wheels as he vaults over dumpsters and all sorts of other things, and he spies -- a side road. Taking it like a stereotypical movie giver-chaser person he rises up a couple of levels and transforms on an area overlooking the Decepticons below; holding a rather vicious looking double-barrled grenade launcher. "Hi." He says to them. His weapon is covering Catechism primarily; drawing careful aim towards her as he rests the weapon on the edge of the roof for cover.

Pinpointer ejects from Crosshair's turret mount as the Autobot's vehicle form spins sideways as though in an involuntary roll. But it is not a crash as his legs unfold from beneath the vehicle and his arms emerge. As his head pops into position, Pinpointer is caught in Crosshairs' waiting right arm. The Autobot targetmaster duo are now in Robot mode! Combat: Crosshairs takes extra time to aim his next attack on Catechism.

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Hun-Grrr says, "Him Swindle being shifty again."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Cutthroat says, "Me Cutthroat think crush monkey in case.."

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Swindle says, "I totally support this decision one hundred percent."

In the Transformers universe, Hallmark makes a series of cards to the tune of 'Sorry, I ate your monkey; it was delicious, though'. Hallmark actually makes a killing selling these cards. Catechism pauses as Swindle makes some really odd comments on the radio and a Saleen S7 Turbo that she doesn't know pulls up and heralds the arrival of the coppers. Nuts! taking a few steps back, she barks out, "Cutthroat, change of plans, let the monkey go, and fly for it!"

Combat: Catechism sets her defense level to Protected.

Combat: Turntail analyzes Cutthroat for weaknesses.

Cybertruck &lt;Kup&gt; rolls to a stop transforming and looking annoyed and angry. He rolls his head about to straighten out the kinks, looks down at the burnt monkey, then up at the Decepticons. He whips his rifle up at them, growling, "You ain't goin' nowhere, Decepticons! And I have a half a mind to light you two on fire, too!"

The faded green cybertruck springs up and splits apart, revealing the ancient Autobot, Kup!

&lt;Autobot&gt; First Aid says, "I'm going for the victim!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; The gruff voice of Crosshairs says, "Gotcha covered, Kid. Call it boss, and I'll blow that innocent shootin' seeker six ways to sunday!"

Cutthroat is distracted from his joyful bout of monkey torture by headlights.. and drawn guns. He looks up and around himself, looking much like a toddler that had just eaten a plate full of pasta and sauce... only instead of the wholesome image it is replaced by blood and monkey bits. "Autobot am always ruining fun, rrrawk!" he shrieks befor reluctantly obeying Catechism, drawing up into the air on a few wing beats.

Swindle watches all the Bots pull up and start taking aggressive postures. *Click* goes the button on the side of his vintage Viewmaster brand robo-binoculars. The old device starts scanning Crosshairs, projecting all sorts of data on Swindle's optics. "Huh, says here his only weakness is that he loves too much? What a bunch of crap," the Combaticon mumbles to himself.

Combat: Swindle analyzes Crosshairs for weaknesses Catechism can exploit.

You receive a radio message from Swindle: Slag, this thing's busted. Shoot him in the fleshy bits. I mean the gun.

&lt;Autobot&gt; The gruff voice of Crosshairs says, "Call the ball, boss. We lettin' 'em go, or light her up?"

Crosshairs leans his weight against the metal guard railing of the building; resting his launcher on the rail itself as he covers Catechism. He seems to be waiting for orders. However, since everyone else is trash-talking he joins right in! "Don't you move a thruster or a stabilizer, lassy, or I'll light you up all over this city block." And judging by the twain laser targeting dots. . . he might be able to do it too!

Turntail lets out a snarl of anger as he strides forward; sending the Immigrant-roach family scattering to the gutter, arching his pistol high as he takes a couple of wild pot-shots at the fleeing Terrorcon before orders - Best to give 'em a warning, huh? And of course, potentially knock him out of the fight when the Decepticons are a lot less outnumbered. "Oooh no you don't!"

Combat: Turntail strikes Cutthroat with his Wild Terrorkey Shoot (Pistol) attack!

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; doesn't rolling stop until he's pulled up beside the monkey. His tires squeal as he screeches to a halt. The back of the ambulance opens up, and two robotic grappling arms (from The Revenge Of Bruticus!) gently pulls the monkey inside of him. "Don't worry, you're going to be safe!" A fire extinguisher is first used on the organic to douse the flames. First Aid doesn't know much about alien anatomy other than humans', but he can at least try to treat burns and the like. His body is also serving as protection for the monkey, but as he's sitting still he is an easy target.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Kup says, "Light 'em up. First Aid, save the... whatever it is."

Combat: First Aid sets his defense level to Fearless.

&lt;Autobot&gt; First Aid says, "I'm not sure on the species yet, sir, but I have him."

The monkey tries to steal anything that looks valuable inside First Aid, while getting his injuries treated. It's just how he rolls.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Powerglide says, "Yo, guys! So, check it out.."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Powerglide says, "So I was just filling out paperwork the other day when I thought, HEY! Why not draw instead?"

Has Crosshairs met someone who can outsmart bullet? Catechism would like to introduce him to someone who can. So, it's to be a rumble in the slums, is it? Unlike some Seekers, who are ranged specialists who hate to get in close and dirty, Catechism is capable of in-fighting, though it isn't her forte. They'll have to catch up with their contacts later, when they can make a clean getaway. Shnk, her spiked knuckles pop out, as she prepares for the brawl to come. "Y'know, that monkey was trying to pickpocket Cutthroat. When'd you losers start bailing out petty thieves?"

Swindle gives the owner of this alien pretzel stand a shove. "Outta the way, you'll get shot up and I haven't even talked to you about that insurance policy yet." He tosses the Viewmaster into a compartment (along with the till from the pretzel stand) with a subtle, "Yoink!" Then he kneels behind the bready, salty apparatus and aims his gun. "Hey, Autobots!" he yells, "Isn't it a little, I dunno, hypocritical to your creed to start a gunfight in a residential area? Maybe we should move this down to the abandoned warehouse district?"

Combat: Swindle analyzes First Aid for weaknesses.

Bang, bang! Turntail's bullets hit the flying critter in the chest, rattling on through the modest armor and into the bot within. Now, he was perfectly happy to have left it at that. He'd torn apart a bum, near butchered a monkey. He was pretty happy.. then he got shot.

"rrrrAWK!" he shrieked angrily in the air befor stooping into a dive, hurling himself bodily at Turntail to pin him to the ground so that he could ciommence with his bloody work once more.

Combat: Cutthroat misses Turntail with its Smash attack!

&lt;Autobot&gt; Powerglide says, "Ah, you know what? Nevermind. My talent is wasted on you people!"

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; actually has a lot of prime gear inside of him. Very high quality equipment, medical tools, and numerous drugs that could easily be used for illicit purposes. This is a situation the Protectobot didn't realize he'd be in. "H-hey! Stop that!" He protests to the monkey thief inside of him. The grappling arms (thank you, Revenge Of Bruticus!) try to hold the monkey down while also treating the burns. The ambulance is rocking back and forth on his tires due to the monkey struggling to swipe stuff. At least the fire is out. "We didn't choose this place, Swindle!" First Aid retorts to the Combaticon. He might not be able to do much about Swindle targeting him at the moment, but he does know he's there. He is ready to burn rubber if need be, though this is going to cause problems on the medical treatment side.

Crosshairs has his orders, finally. Light 'em up, the boss said. Which is something that he is quite good at. And so he half squeezes Pinpointer's trigger and the sentient launcher locks himself onto Catechism. Then both of them listen to Catechism's words. She makes a very good point. "Innocent until proven guilty, Decepticwench." The old 'bot says. "And further more, where I came from, we don't waste people for stealing. We waste them for, you know, murder, etcera." Another pause and then he pulls the trigger totally and two rocket-propelled grenades go streaking out towards Catechism. Not normal grenades though, these ones seek to stick to her. And beep loudly. And blow up if the sentient rifle can see she is clear!

Combat: Crosshairs misses Catechism with his Rocket-Propelled Grenade attack!

Combat: Crosshairs (Crosshairs) used "Rocket-Propelled Grenade": A Level 6 AREA-RANGED attack.

Turntail widens his optics in horror as the bird thing turns and dives for the Autobot. Whoa! Thinks he. No need for violence, damnit! As the metal creature lunges down, the Scout instinctively spins on his heel, ducking away from Cutthroat's dive as a curved blade slides from his armoured arm - and swings without a second's aim.

Combat: Turntail misses Cutthroat with his Hack'n'Slash! attack!

The monkey thief is a tricky little fellow, but he's severely injured, so the awesome grappling arms do manage to hold him in place. He's still eyeing First Aid's morphine, though.

Catechism does not outsmart bullet, but she does outsmart a part of grenades by leaping atop a small awning, letting the grenades detonate under the awning, where the concussive waves can't touch her. She then back-flips off the awning and tries to land on Crosshairs. "One man's crime is another man's punishment, and on this planet, I think just about everyone's guilty, anyway!"

Combat: Catechism sets her defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Catechism misses Crosshairs with her Stomp (Kick) attack!

Combat: Drained 2 energon.

Cutthroat's diving lunge prooves fruitless. He manages to avoid getting sliced by a narrow margine, which is a good thing. Unable to regain altitude, Cutthroat jogs into a landing, taloned feet scrambling to slow his momentum befor he finaly turned around. He utters a shrill cry of murderdeath befor charging in, wings flapping and beak snapping like a terrifying goose!

Combat: Cutthroat sets its defense level to Fearless.

Kup levels his rifle at Swindle's noggin, growling out, "Oh, sure. We'll follow you to the abandoned warehouse. So what, we walk in first, then the whole place explodes on us? I don't think so, Swindle!"

Combat: Cutthroat strikes Turntail with its Mauling attack! [Pulled -1]

Swindle calls back, "I'm pretty sure you guys drove up and started shooting at us first! I mean, I'm no -scientist- or anything, so I guess I could be wrong about that!" He rolls his optics. "So anyway, I was just trying to be civil and offer some sort of reasonable alternative, but barring that I can just start shooting up the place and whatnot, 'kay?" He squeezes off a shot at First Aid.

Combat: Swindle sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Swindle misses Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; with his Gyro Gun attack!

Crosshairs is a surprisingly tricksy fellow for an old man. Especially with that funky gun of his. Catechism is entirely capable of outsmarting grenades, but can she outsmart an old bot who must feel up her legs? Wait, what? Is this serious? It must apparently be as he tosses Pinpointer into the air and sidesteps to avoid Catechism's attack. Then he attempts to grab her left leg and tackle her to the pavement below. Combat: Crosshairs sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Crosshairs strikes Catechism with his Smash attack!

Combat: Crosshairs (Crosshairs) used "Smash": A Level 3 MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 8 damage.

Turntail staggers back, away from the squawking creature as it flaps and scratches. Falling back a few steps, the Autobot appears to be ushering the panicking locals away - but.. is there a chance he's just buying some extra time. His deep blue optics scan over the fluttering Terrorcon as he waves his hands away, "Hey- C-Come on there, I was just proving a point. No need to get ah.. shirty about it, eh? I'm sure you can be reasonable.." Combat: Turntail analyzes Cutthroat for weaknesses.

Combat: Turntail sets his defense level to Guarded.

The instant that shot is fired by Swindle, Kup fires off one of his own. "Ok, I'm gonna be civil too, pick your fraggin' aft up, and THROW you at the damn warehouses, how about that, Swindle? How do you like THAT deal!?"

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt;'s interior would be like Christmas time for a thief with illegal connections. As Swindle threatens him, the Protectobot jerks forward, and the blast strikes the building behind him. First aid winces inwardly at this. "Ahh, can I take you up on that abandoned warehouse request?" he asks, trying not to make it obvious that he's struggling with the patient inside of him. Combat: First Aid sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Combat: Kup strikes Swindle with his Angry Old Lasers (Laser) attack!

Catechism hasn't ever really seen Crosshairs before. He's one of those new-fangled Autobots, isn't he? looks awful old for... whoa! Her leg gets grabbed, and she gets slammed cone-first into a pothole. Unable to roll over easily due to her wings, she pushes herself up. Man, Swindle's slick. She sees where Onslaught got those lawyerly skills from. Cutthroat is... good at murder. Catechism doesn't quite rise from a kneel, instead drawing her whip and snapping it out at Crosshairs's ankles.

The monkey thief has to restrain himself from saying rude things about the medic that is tending to his wounds.

Combat: Catechism strikes Crosshairs with her Whiplash Whirlwind attack! [Pulled -4]

Combat: Removing analysis data for Crosshairs.

Combat: Gained 1 energon.

Crosshairs is indeed one of those newfangled Autobots. He is even one of those newfangled Autobots on the ground as Catechism's whip tangles his ankles and sends him to the muddy and ashy ground with all sorts of detritus upon it. But he doesn't hesitate for a split second, transforming and roaring forward -- attempting to snag Catechism's whip in his winch and use it as a guide to run her over like some sort of garbage in the road! Combat: Crosshairs sets his defense level to Neutral.

Crosshairs tosses Pinpointer upwards as his body rotates down. Wheels fold into position and begin to spin as his bulk settles down into teh shape of his Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck Altmode! Pinpointer is drawn to a turret mount on the roof by magnetic grapples. The Autobot targetmaster duo are now in vehicle mode!

Combat: Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck misses Catechism with his Off-Road Rage attack!

Combat: Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck (Crosshairs) used "Off-Road Rage": A Level 3 VELOCITY attack.

Swindle yells, "Ow!" as the laser decimates part of the pretzel stand, showering his face with hot shredded metal. "Oh, come on, this isn't even fair! It's Defensor versus Bruticus, First Aid versus Swindle. Go mind your own business, Kup! Hey, everybody, five hundred rounds in your favorite caliber to the first person to bring me Kup's musket. Oh, and duck." From the large rifle on his arm issue forth big explosive rounds, sailing towards the Autobots and causing at least the frontage of one storefront to implode. Combat: Swindle misses Kup with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

Combat: Swindle strikes Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

Combat: Swindle strikes Turntail with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

Combat: Swindle misses Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

"RAWK!? Reasonable?!" he shouts, lifting up into the air on a few wing beats, the long appendages working to keep him aloft, "Cutthroat be perfectly reasonable-" he continued, transforming in a sudden flurry of movement, flight systems taking over as his wings fold back. "when you are dead! AAAAWK!" out comes his weapon, a double-barral gun of mean. he pulls the trigger.. and if Turntail's not careful he'll find himself trying to rip himself apart. The Cybertronian Tunnel Parrot suddenly begins to transmorphatize itself into the form of Cutthroat!

Combat: Cutthroat misses Turntail with its Double-Barreled Magnetizer attack!

"Saving lives and looking after our teammates /is/ our business, Swindle," First Aid retorts as Kup rushes in to the rescue in what is probably the lamest comeback in history. Despite this, the Protectobot believes it wholeheartedly, and this firm dedication to the Autobot way never ceases to give him strength. Swindle sprays ammunition all over, and First Aid doesn't stand a chance at avoiding it. "Look out!" he shouts as explosive rounds slam against his exterior, blowing a hole in the side of the ambulance. The monkey thief inside will get rocked about, and he's even somewhat exposed to the outside now. Swerving around so his wounded side is no longer presented to the Combaticon, First Aid finally returns fire against Swindle with his double barreled cannon. Combat: Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; strikes Swindle with his Decrystallizer Cannon attack!

Turntail growls, grimacing his metallic features as he snarls up to the floating Decepticon. "Guess I'll be waiting a long then then, eh?" Aiming his pistol arm for the Terrorcon's waistplate, the Autobot prepares to fire. Then, just at the last moment, a wrist-laser rotates out from his fore-arm plating, firing a precise pulse of energy at what his sensors revealed to be a thinner patch of plati- URK. With a bolt of Swindle's weapon striking the blue Autobot in the back, Turntail staggers, sending his arm flailing. But did the shot make it? Oooh. Let's find out. Combat: Turntail sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Turntail strikes Cutthroat with his Not-so-Precise Wristlaser (Laser) attack!

Kup snerks. "A con-artist with a cannon strapped to his arm versus a medic that would never hurt anybody if he didn't have to? That ain't a fair fight! It's a damn massacre, especially when that medic's got a patient!" The old mech throws himself to the ground in time to avoid getting shot, but alas, avoiding the rounds means they devastate the storefront behind him. "FRAG!" he says, staring at the devastation behind him. Should he have just absorbed the weapons fire? Maybe. In any case, he runs inside to look for survivors. Combat: Kup takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

The monkey thief starts to wonder if being outside and bleeding to death in a ditch while on fire was the better option. Maybe First Aid is going to sell his organs on the open market!

Catechism manages to release Crosshairs with a deft flick of her wrist, transmitted down the line of the whip, before he can try to drag her through the mud and the blood and the crud. Now, she does actually manage to get to her feet, and given that Crosshairs is presenting a quicker target than he was before, she stows the whip and makes use of an arm gun to blob some acid at Crosshairs. She whistles lowly as Swindle unleashes his scatter-blaster, and she calls over to him, "Need any help on the old man front, Swindle?" Kup brings a new meaning to tough, and she's not sure how much help she can give, but the offer is there. At least Cutthroat seems to have an opponent who isn't either a Protectobot or amazingly old.

Combat: Catechism misses Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck with her Acid Strike attack!

Combat: Gained 4 energon.

Swindle hits the deck as First Aid's cannon completely destroys the remains of the pretzel stand, covering Swindle in hot dough. "Oh, it burns! Do you have any idea how much insurance that would've brought in? Why are you being so destructive?" he plaintively wails. Immediately calm in the next second, he tosses a packet to the stand's owner, who is cowering nearby. Aside to him: "Quick, sign all this stuff before they can call us on this 'pre-existing condition' crap." Getting to his feet he starts jogging towards his fellow Decepticons, ducking behind newsstands and roadside signs, taking a single shot at First Aid when he gets the chance. "Hey guys, I need some cover over here!" Combat: Swindle sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Swindle strikes Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; with his Gyro Gun attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt;'s Agility. (Crippled)

Turntail's laser bores right through the terrorcon, digging into the thinner armorings of his midsection. A wounding blow but nothing that would fell him so soon. Cutthroat shakes it off, pushes through it. The rusty, corroded wheels of his mind clanking and turning, shifting into proper gear.

With a raspy squawk of rage, he cast his gun back into sub spoace and drove to engage Turntail directly, claws flicking out from slits in his fingers. "Worthless, stupid autobot! Cutthroat kill you, cutthroat butcher you! Cutthroat leave you strewn out in ally for scavengers to take parts and torment as please. I make suffer, I make scream!" he shrieked, livid, deranged as he attacked, working his arm in a slash, swiping at the mech's face.

Combat: Cutthroat strikes Turntail with its Claw (Punch) attack!

Kup emerges from the wreckage covered in dust. He wipes his hands off, announcing, mostly to himself, "Well, looked like nobody was in there, thankfully--" Looking around, he finds himself surrounded by a group of burly alien thugs, all of whom stand staller than Kup himself.

"You Kup?" one of the thugs asks.

"Nah," Kup sneers, "I'm fraggin' Santa Claus. You boys want a Kwissmiss Pwesent?"

The thugs look at each other ruefully, then one of them says, "Swin-dul promise reward if we get your rifle. Give it."

"Say please," Kup snarls.

Combat: Kup takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck thinks that the power of old is actually doing quite well at the moment. Indeed, gunning his engine he strikes a garbage bin and vaults up as a vehicle just in time to avoid Catechism and her tricksy acidly ways. Transforming in mid-vault he riccochets off a building and lands in a time-honored forward roll -- coming up with Pinpointer in both hands. Now, Targetmasters are a new breed of transformer and have certain things that make them special. Beyond being retarded, that is. Special in this case does not mean retarded! One of them though, is Pinpointer's .003 second lockon time which he demonstrates by emptying one barrel at Catechism and firing the other one at Swindle the other ducks behind a sign in retalliation for his scatterblaster attack. "You're outgunned, Decepticons! Why don't you do us all a favor and surrender?"

Pinpointer ejects from Crosshair's turret mount as the Autobot's vehicle form spins sideways as though in an involuntary roll. But it is not a crash as his legs unfold from beneath the vehicle and his arms emerge. As his head pops into position, Pinpointer is caught in Crosshairs' waiting right arm. The Autobot targetmaster duo are now in Robot mode!

Combat: Crosshairs misses Catechism with his Rocket-Propelled Grenade Area attack!

Combat: Crosshairs (Crosshairs) used "Rocket-Propelled Grenade": A Level 6 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: Crosshairs misses Swindle with his Rocket-Propelled Grenade Area attack!

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; is a sitting duck in ambulance mode, which is something Swindle no doubt knows all too well! "Note to self... reinforce sides!" First Aid exclaims as this time the gyro gun connects with sweet sweet ambulance, blowing another hole in the Protectobot. Now both sides are open to the air. On the inside, one of the arms holding the monkey thief down fails, having been blown right out of the Autobot. Monkey thief might be right about escaping. First Aid swivels about again, this time presenting his front side to Swindle. Whatever it takes, he cannot give the Combaticon a free shot at the thief through his wounds. His decrystallizer fires another blast - weaker this time as First Aid is losing strength.

Combat: Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; misses Swindle with his Laser attack!

Turntail lets out a mechly and heroic shriek of agony, safely lost in the noise of the battle. At least his pride was in tact. Just. He -knew- he shouldn't have reported the Decepticons here. Schoolmech error that. Still, can't run yet.. not without a decent hit in. Sprawling backwards, the blue 'Bot grabs for his clawed face, where deep scarred trenches appear streaked across his mouth. Regaining his balance, the scout glares deeply at the Terrorcon, snarling loudly as he charges back, scimitar wielded high, his servos pumped and powerful. He knew this was foolish, but a swipe and run can't be all bad. "Damn your optics, surrender!" he roars, hacking for the robot's oil.

Combat: Turntail strikes Cutthroat with his Hack'n'Run! attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Cutthroat's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Swindle's optics widen as the RPG flies right for his face.. and gets caught on the sign. "Holy crap that was close ACK LASERS!" he yells as he has to duck behind a Don't Litter garbage bin. "Huh.. that wasn't so bad. Hey, Autobots, I tell you what. How about we give you Cutthroat, and you give us First Aid, and we'll all go home feeling good about ourselves?" Still ducked behind the trash can, he ejects the clip on his scatter blaster. Just a few rounds left. "Damn. 'Don't bother packing the ammo crate,'" he says mockingly to himself. "Last time I'm listening to Vortex. Ever!" He pops up his head and rifle, spraying a few rounds at the closest Bots.

Combat: Swindle misses Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

Combat: Swindle strikes Crosshairs with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

Catechism continues to outsmart grenades, this time actually catching the grenade and slipping a thin piece of metal into the armament to defuse it. She gives Crosshairs a cocky smile. "You sure like your munitions, huh? Kind of old-styled, though. Guess you've been away for a while. Here, have this one back!" She winds up and chucks the grenade back at Crosshairs.

Combat: Catechism sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Error - Could not find an attack matching 'hand grenade'.

Combat: Error - Could not find an attack matching 'hand'.

Combat: Catechism strikes Kup with Hand Grenade's Huge Explosion #8941 Area attack!

Combat: Catechism's Hand Grenade is destroyed!

Combat: Catechism strikes Cutthroat with Hand Grenade's Huge Explosion #8941 Area attack!

Combat: Catechism misses Crosshairs with Hand Grenade's Huge Explosion #8941 Area attack!

Combat: Used up 1 Bombs. 0 remain.

The thugs don't like hearing Kup tell them no. So, one of them pokes his finger into Kup's chest, grunting, "YOU GIVE US MUSKET OR--"

Kup's hands move quickly, so quickly the thug doesn't have time to respond before Kup has snatched the finger, broken it, and jabbed it back into the thug's eye. The others back away, horrified, as their peer falls to his knees, howling in pain.

Kup wipes his hands again, muttering, "Now where was I?" He looks back to the fight, grimacing as he watches the other Autobots barely holding on! Rushing in, he yells, "Hang on, guys, I'm on the way!" That's about when he walks into a shower of shrapnel from the grenade, flinging him onto his butt. Second bad-ass moment of the day ruined. Kup is not happy.

"I'm gonna fraggin' kill all of you!" he roars as he leaps back to his feet, spraying laser fire at Catechism.

Combat: Kup strikes Catechism with his Acid Musket Laser attack! [Pulled -3]

Combat: Kup (Kup) used "Acid Musket Laser": A Level 3 RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 6 damage.

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; speeds away. His tires screech, protesting this treatment as he evades the hail of machine-gun fire behind him. The wall of the building behind him gets riddled, neatly following after the speeding Protectobot. "Autobots don't surrender, Swindle, and we're not going to just leave here. How about you take your cronies and get out of here while you're still capable of rolling!" First Aid doesn't have a lot of weaponry to choose from here, and he's unwilling to risk a head-on crash with Swindle with a patient on board. As explosives start to go off, First Aid tries his best to maneuver as he takes another shot back at Swindle. Already First Aid is planning how best to let the monkey thief out in a safe place, but he doesn't want to abandon his comrades.

Combat: Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; strikes Swindle with his Decrystallizer Cannon attack!

Crosshairs is actually a fairly slick soldier. Though not the most nimble he knows exactly how to duck behind cover to shield himself from Catechism's blast. See, look at him dodge with skill. And then he dissapears -- gone from sensors. Look! Catechism defeated him! The old armorer is down. But... where's his body? Where could he be? A moment or two later he roars out of a second floor building in a spray of masonry and mortar -- angled in vehicle mode directly for Catechism's back. Or side. Or chest. Somewhere!

Crosshairs tosses Pinpointer upwards as his body rotates down. Wheels fold into position and begin to spin as his bulk settles down into teh shape of his Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck Altmode! Pinpointer is drawn to a turret mount on the roof by magnetic grapples. The Autobot targetmaster duo are now in vehicle mode!

Combat: Crosshairs sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck strikes Catechism with his Off-Road Rage attack!

Combat: Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck (Crosshairs) used "Off-Road Rage": A Level 3 VELOCITY attack.

Combat: You took 8 damage.

There is pain and suddenly darkness. Somehow, Cutthroat's optics go dark from the strike. A wire that was in the wrong place, a energy surge that shut down his visual cluster, it isn't clear. Point is the bird's as blind as a bat!

Cutthroat staggers back, shrieking a shrill cry of pain, clapping a hand over his optics, stumbling over unseen detritus and right into the blast radius of Catechism's returned grenade! It rips through him, shrapnel tearing at his armor and hampering his locamotive abilities. To say the least it is not a plesent experience.

Cutthroat still lives however... and he ain't too happy. He releases a cry of anger that boils up from the core of him befor going for his gun once more, the double-barreled menace flinging lasers in some random direction... somehow in Turntail's general direction.

Combat: Cutthroat strikes Turntail with its Laser attack!

Turntail reels back in agony, bearing it out with a set of clenched servos, whirring tightly together as a stray laser bolt shreds and burns the blue 'Bot's shoulderplate. Falling back, the Autobot rolls and tucks underneath himself, transforming smoothly into the Saleen Supersportscar. He's had enough. No. More than enough. This Autobot's on his way. Outta here. Bye-Bye! Just running isn't this mech's style though, he's got a reputation to uphold. &lt;&lt;This is way too dangerous - move the fight away from the natives, damnit! This.. This kid here always got crushed by Cutthtorat's rampage.. transporting him to a safe location.. You should all do the same! Think of what Optimus woulda done!&gt;&gt; You all saw Turntail take the kid aboard, right? Just before he roared for the horizon, charging and firing a wave of electro-magnetic energy as he flees.

Folding his arms behind his back, the robot's chassis reshapes over the mechanoid and molds into the sleek shape of a Saleen S7.

Combat: Saleen S7 Turbo misses Kup with his Epi-Centered EMP Area attack!

Combat: Saleen S7 Turbo strikes Cutthroat with his Epi-Centered EMP Area attack!

Combat: Saleen S7 Turbo's Epi-Centered EMP attack on Catechism goes wild!

Combat: Saleen S7 Turbo misses himself with his Epi-Centered EMP Area attack!

Combat: Saleen S7 Turbo strikes Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck with his Epi-Centered EMP Area attack!

Combat: Saleen S7 Turbo strikes Swindle with his Epi-Centered EMP Area attack!

Swindle can't catch a break. The trash bin he's hiding behind explodes in a shower of concrete, sending him flying back into a wall, which partially crumbles and falls on top of him. Sputtering and spitting out pieces of rock and dust, he shakes his head and knocks the side of it to get the ringing out of his ears. Recovering quickly after that, he starts retreating back towards Catechism, chucking a smoke bomb to provide some concealment and firing his blaster pistol at First Aid as he crosses through the smoke, then he takes a nice trip face-first to the pavement when the EMP blast shorts out his right leg actuators.

Combat: Swindle strikes Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; with his Blaster Pistol (Disruptor) attack!

The monkey thief says hesitantly, "My organs no good! No good. Smoke a pack a day, twenty years. Stabbed in kidney. Eat fried food!" Just in case First Aid is getting any ideas.

Catechism gets hosed down with acid, which is distinctly unpleasant, and she shakes herself, looking to see if she actually managed to nail Crosshairs or not, because she's certainly riled up Kup. She stares up at Cutthroat, who was unfortunately inside the blast radius of that grenade. Bother. While she is staring up at her friendly fire, Crosshairs comes out of nowhere and runs over her. Gnn! From the ground, she draws her whip again and casts it like a fishing line - back, to hit Kup, and forward to try to snag Crosshairs's muffler and lash it right off. Take that, emissions laws! Via some quirk of magnetism, Turntail's EMP does nothing to her.

Combat: Catechism sets her defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Catechism strikes Kup with her Whiplash Whirlwind Area attack! [Pulled -3]

Combat: Catechism strikes Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck with her Whiplash Whirlwind Area attack! [Pulled -3]

Combat: Drained 3 energon.

Cutthroat's systems fry and crackle, reserves suddenly depleating rapidly. The EMP does it's number on him, scrambling his targeting protocols even further. Bad news though, kiddies, he's still standing. On transformation later and it is the wyvern like tunnel parrot that threatens Turntail. The creature's neck rocks back, intakes at the base of his beak drinking in air with a deeb breath befor his head snaps forward, beak parting to unleash a grand torrent of flame upon the pesky autobot.

Cutthroat: Terrorize! Cutthroat suddenly transforms into some kind of... birdy... thing!

Combat: Cutthroat misses Saleen S7 Turbo with its Fire Breath attack!

WH-KRAK! Kup gets the whip right in the face, and it leaves a deep gouge there. But the old mech just wades into it, cracking his knuckles. "Deceptifemmes. What is it with you and whips?" Once he gets in range, he swings a ferocious punch at her jaw. If there's one thing Kup isn't, it's chivalrous.

Combat: Kup strikes Catechism with his Whuppin' attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Kup (Kup) used "Whuppin'": A Level 3 MELEE attack.

Combat: You took 13 damage.

"What? No, I'm not going to-" First Aid stammers, "I mean that isn't what w- ARGH!" First Aid's front bumber is blown away as Swindle first chucks a smoke bomb onto the ground, and then fries him once again. Glass goes flying inwards as his windshield explodes. The front passenger side wheel deflates, and the ambulance isn't going anywhere due to all the damage. Both of his sides are still blown out, and the remaining arm holding monkey thief down goes limp. This also means there's no more treatment that First Aid can give to him. Antibiotics, morphine, and other chems have gotten knocked loose, and it is up to the monkey to decide if he wants to try stealing stuff, or abandon ambulance while he still can. Unwilling to fire back at Swindle due to the all-concealing smoke (he cannot risk harming innocents by firing blind), First Aid has no choice but to choose a different target - Cutthroat, in this case.

Combat: Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; strikes Cutthroat with his Decrystallizer Cannon attack!

Saleen S7 Turbo slams on its brakes with a cloud of smoke pouring from under the sportscar's chassis. Whether this is down to the sudden braking, or the rush of flame as it scorches the road Turntail narrowly avoiding in his manuever, none can tell. Barely delaying for a moment, the Saleen's powerful engine roars anew, sending citizen's sprawling for the pavements as the blue shape makes its way deep into the depths of Pzz-Azz's cityhive. Things were likely to get worse for the Autobot, he could tell. But the way home was blocked, and, with the thankful assistance of First Aid's shot, time was pressing. Let's see how things go from here, eh?

Combat: Turntail sets his defense level to Protected.

&lt;Autobot&gt; The gruff voice of Crosshairs says, "Thanks, Kid. I really needed to loose that bit of my hide cause you decided to detonate a /FRAGGIN' EMP/ right beside me?! Why, I oughta carve it out of your stupid hide the next time I see ya! Stupid kids!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "What the?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Jayson Redfield says, "...Who are you talking to?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; First Aid says, "What are your orders, Kup? There's nothing else I can do for the patient while I'm being shot at by Swindle."

Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck is in the middle of manuvering away from Catechism and her silly whip when Turntail's EMP goes off nearby -- momentarialy locking up his wheels. Which permits the seeker female to get hold of his muffler. Now, some mechs would love for Catechism to hold their muffler, but this is not one of those times as it goes tearing off with a horrible grinding sound and his engine becomes that much louder. He goes on a lovely tirade on the radio as he transforms and then lunges for Catechism again. He's not bothering with subtley this time.

Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck totally shoots Catechism with his gun.

Pinpointer ejects from Crosshair's turret mount as the Autobot's vehicle form spins sideways as though in an involuntary roll. But it is not a crash as his legs unfold from beneath the vehicle and his arms emerge. As his head pops into position, Pinpointer is caught in Crosshairs' waiting right arm. The Autobot targetmaster duo are now in Robot mode!

Combat: Crosshairs misses Catechism with his Rocket-Propelled Grenade attack!

Combat: Crosshairs (Crosshairs) used "Rocket-Propelled Grenade": A Level 6 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: Saleen S7 Turbo begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Kup says, "Gah. This is falling apart. Get outta here, all of you! I'll hold 'em off."

&lt;Autobot&gt; First Aid says, "Yes sir."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Talazia Keldahoff says, "you missed a lot, Raptor."

Cutthroat's firey breath does little to help the cause of Autobot murder... Hell on the alley turned battleground though. His movements were sluggish, worn as he reeled to collect himself from the attack. The jolt from Firstaid seers into his shoulder, leaving a red hot hole in his armor. Turntail is too swift in retreat for the Terrocon to hope to catch him as he is. Instead Cutthroat opts to dig into the surroundings. Crawling over, he begins to chew and rip pieces free of a nearby building, crushing them in his beak befor gulping them down and going back for morte.

&lt;Autobot&gt; The gruff voice of Crosshairs cuss, cuss, cusses. Crosshairs: Cuss. You: Cuss. Everyone cusses for Asparagus.

Combat: Cutthroat takes extra time to steady itself. [Pass]

&lt;Autobot&gt; The gruff voice of Crosshairs cusses alot, this means.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Grimlock says, "Hey! You no talk 'bout me Grimlock mother that way!"

Swindle is more than smart enough to stay in the smoke, but apparently whacked out enough to just start firing his Scatter Blaster pretty much blindly around the area. Hello, collateral damage. Hello, hail of exploding bullets. "That's right folks!" he yells. "Step right up and get yourself a fantastic deal on getting SHOT IN THE FACE! Double the pain in half the time! I'll take cash, check, or money order! No offer is refused! Wooo, you can't buy this kind of fun."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Grimlock says, "Wait. Me no think me HAVE mother."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "Yea-- I'm gathering. Guess that is what happens when your earth-locked."

Combat: Swindle strikes Kup with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

Combat: Swindle strikes Cutthroat with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

Combat: Swindle strikes Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

Combat: Swindle strikes Catechism with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

Combat: Swindle (Swindle) used "Scatter Blaster": A Level 4 AREA-RANGED attack.

Combat: You took 9 damage.

Combat: Swindle's attack has damaged your Accuracy!

Combat: Swindle strikes Crosshairs with his Scatter Blaster Area attack!

&lt;Autobot&gt; Nightbeat says, "Ain't heard /that/ one in a long time. Nice."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "And dude with the mouth, ya may want to watch it before Primus comes after you, hehe."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Talazia Keldahoff says, "Good luck, Raptor. He's been doing that since Nebulos."

The monkey is all about stealing the morphine, if First Aid isn't going to steal his organs and sell them. That's what prehensile tails are for!

Catechism pauses to think about Kup's question, and she says, "Hey... you're right! I got the whip from Fusillade, and then Arachnae taught me how to use it. I wonder if Airwolf had a whip hidden away somewhere, too?" It is an odd mental image! While he is pondering, Kup smacks her so hard that half her face comes off. If she was a good guy, she would then start carrying a doing around and flipping it compulsively while on a revenge spree. However, she is safely evil, so that won't happen. She gets back up and ducks behind and organ grinder, letting the musical instrument take the heat to the tune of some sour notes, before popping out from behind the organ grinder to snipe over at Kup. However, as she pops out, Swindle nails her, and her aim goes astray.

Combat: Catechism sets her defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Catechism strikes Kup with her 25-mm GAU-12 cannon &lt;Short Burst&gt; (Pistol) attack!

Combat: Gained 1 energon.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Talazia Keldahoff says, "Just get back safe guys."

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt; can't move, and more of his frame is shot up by Swindle. It is a travesty that this is allowed to happen, but Pz-Zazz is just one of those sucky planets. The Protectobot can also feel things being stolen from inside him, and he decides he needs to kill two birds with one stone. Or save two birds with one... bandage? Something like that. Too weak to give a retort to Swindle, First Aid transforms back into robot mode, which is at least mobile. He holds the monkey thief gently but firmly, unwilling to let him go as he staggers around the corner to freedom.

Ambulance &lt;First Aid&gt;'s front section folds back as a pair of legs and arms pop out, transforming into First Aid.

Combat: First Aid begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Kup, Cutthroat, Saleen S7 Turbo, Catechism, Crosshairs, and Swindle

Crosshairs emits a very long tirade of curses at the entire situation. It doesn't help much, but it makes him feel better as he reconfigures to his alt mode and books it -- roaring away himself. "Complying, as recieved, Boss." He says; slowing down once he gets a decent distance away. He's pretty shot up, but he's not going to leave Kup -too- to himself.

Crosshairs tosses Pinpointer upwards as his body rotates down. Wheels fold into position and begin to spin as his bulk settles down into teh shape of his Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck Altmode! Pinpointer is drawn to a turret mount on the roof by magnetic grapples. The Autobot targetmaster duo are now in vehicle mode!

Combat: Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Saleen S7 Turbo

&lt;Autobot&gt; Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "So-- what happened?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Talazia Keldahoff says, "with what?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; First Aid says, "We're being forced to retreat, but at least we've saved the alien they were torturing."

Kup growls, "I don't even fraggin' wanna know who else has got a whip," just before he is pelted by a veritable hailstorm of weapons fire. It might be disheartening to the Decepticons, however, to see that even this much artillery is barely even slowing him down. "Ya know, Swindle, smoke's great for concealment--usually. But the problem is, when yer setting off a lotta bright lights in there, like say, gunfire, it tends to shine through to the outside. So I can't see YOU, but I can see where yer shootin' from!" He fires his acid musket into the dust, hoping to prove himself right about Swindle's folly.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "They were-- torturing an alien? Why?"

Combat: Kup strikes Swindle with his Acid Musket Laser attack! [Pulled -4]

&lt;Autobot&gt; Kup says, "Because they're Decepticons."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Nightbeat says, "Maybe he knew something."

Swindle swats his hands through the air, trying to clear the smoke. "Oh there we go. Whew, glad this didn't turn into a fire sale. Get it? Fire sale?" he asks the nearby Catechism, deadpan. "Son, it's a -joke-. I.. look, nevermind." He rolls his optics. "Hey First Aid, you forgot something!" He levels his blaster pistol at the fleeing Autobot and fires. "You forgot to tell me how better I am than you!" BLAM, or rather, SPLAT there's a big old gob of acid boring into his chest cavity. "Oh.. uh.. things are looking kinda bad here.. oh yeah.. ow.. that's really starting to burn."

Combat: Swindle sets his defense level to Fearless.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Grimlock says, "What kinda alien? 'cuz some Aliens is jerks."

Combat: Swindle strikes First Aid with his Blaster Pistol (Disruptor) attack!

&lt;Autobot&gt; Grimlock says, "Like them GIANT SPIDERS. Me Grimlock have to kill them things all the time!"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Cosmos says, "Aliens?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "I agree with Nightbeat-- I know decepticons are cruel and all-- but even they have to have some reason."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Turntail speaks, his voice wavering as the distant rumbling of fast driving fuzzes th words. "Kid here.. he says they caught the fellow with his hand in the Terrorcon's jacket. Pretty sure one of the Decepticons said.. said the same thing. Put it down to that one myself."

Munch, munch, munch. Cutthroat continues to chew on the scenery. He'd be doing a public service if he he didn't plan on just burning all of the rest down when he had his fill.

Combat: Cutthroat sets its defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Cutthroat takes extra time to steady itself. [Pass]

Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck is totally gone by now!

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Swindle says, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOH"

&lt;Decepticon&gt; Swindle says, "Uh.. ow."

Catechism raises an optical ridge at Swindle and replies, "I got the joke, you know." Most of the Autobots seem to be pulling out. Of course not Kup, but Catechism thinks it would take much better than the likes of an ex-Seeker, a Combaticon, and a Terrorcon to make Kup run. She orders Swindle, "Get out of here, and..." she pauses to actually radio him.

First Aid, shot in the back by Swindle. This makes his front, sides, and now roof (his back in robot mode) trashed. He stumbles but continues onwards.

You send a radio message to Swindle: ...get in touch with our contacts on this world, though I bet you already have.

Kup doesn't check with the Decepticons to see if they're retreating, too. Considering cover fire adequetely provided, he flips around, falling into truck mode and driving away.

Kup falls forward, folding up into really old looking futuristic truck!

Combat: Cybertruck &lt;Kup&gt; begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

Swindle calls out, "Fleeing with great pride, commandant!" Without any further ado, he transforms and makes haste for the rear, paint and metal still sizzling away from the acid round.

Swindle's no sucker! He transforms into a Jeep and gets ready to roll!

Combat: Vintage Army Jeep &lt;Swindle&gt; begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Cybertruck &lt;Kup&gt;, Saleen S7 Turbo, and Cybertronian All Terrain Tech Truck

Catechism is... the last woman standing? Granted, she was also the only woman in the fight in the first place. Oh wait, she thinks that Cutthroat still has some fight in him. She snaps out a pack of business cards and tosses them at the Terrorcon, commanding, "Show this planet that we mean business, Cutthroat. Let them know that the Decepticons are in town, and no gangsters and certainly no slagging Autobots are gonna stop us!"

Cutthroat cranes his neck around, peering at the remaining Aero-Space Commander, "We win?" he asks, still chewing rubble like a cow with cud.

Turntail moves northeast to the Shopping District - Pz-Zazz.

Turntail has left.

Cutthroat moves northeast to the Shopping District - Pz-Zazz.

Cutthroat has left.

Swindle moves northeast to the Shopping District - Pz-Zazz.

Swindle has left.

&lt;Autobot&gt; Blaster says, "Comin' online just in time to bust some rhyme." He goes all Max Headroom for a sec: "Wh-wh-wh-what's happenin'?"

&lt;Autobot&gt; Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "I think the bots just got out of a nasty fight Blaster."

&lt;Autobot&gt; Turntail says, "Too f-fzzt-g right. This child would've been crushed if I wasn't here to step in.. unsure of my location.. will report in when I know more."

================================= Decepticon ================================= Message: 2/75                     Posted        Author AAR: Pz-Zazz                      Mon Apr 13    Catechism -- Catechism appears, looking rather severely battered, with multiple impact, explosive, and even acid wounds. In the background is a bashed-in storefront, and she is trying on a fancy black hat with a mesh veil and a purple silk rose tucked into the ribbon of the brim. She reports, "Decepticons! We have some holdings on Pz-Zazz, a world known for bootlegging. Usually, we just cash in on the benefits, but the local gangs are trying to muscle in our turf, so we need to show them what's what - and what is that we're on top. With assistance from Swindle and Cutthroat, we managed to oust Kup, one of those new Autobots, another new Autobot but not a weird one, and First Aid. Swindle suffered heavy injuries during the fight, and I suspect that Kup wasn't all that injured. Unfortunately for us, if the Autobots are snooping around, it just makes our lives harder. Use discretion, and if you have pockets for some reason, be wary of pickpockets. Air Commander Catechism, out."

=
=================================================================

================================= Decepticon ================================= Message: 2/76                     Posted        Author Re: AAR: Pz-Zazz                  Mon Apr 13    Swindle -- Swindle, sitting in a lawn chair. Smoking a cigar and drinking some sort of fancy energon distillate from fine crystal. There's a big hole melted in his chest.

"Listen up, kids, I'm taking over this town. I'm going to need a little.. forward from petty cash, but I'm going to pay enough bribes to get every thief, crook, roughneck, thug, hood, ganger, pickpocket, orphan, bully, crime lord, street boss, singing hobo, stabbing hobo, ringleader, goon, pirate, racketeer, footpad, mob boss, arsonist, vagrant, migrant, robber, con man, fixer, hacker, lackey, shyster, shark, cheat, ruffian, scoundrel, latchkey kid, and ne'er-do-well on this stinking planet siding with us. So.. moolah, and lots of it. Pronto. Now go 'way, kid, y'bother me."

=
=================================================================