Rebuilding Bob Ross-Bot

Decepticon Island - Arena

Located at the very foot of the massive volcano that is the heart of Decepticon Island, the Arena is nothing more than a giant junkyard of parts salvaged from the sunken New Crystal City that have been placed here for lack of any other location to place them. Some enterprising individuals have created an arena from the remains, and indeed, the walls of the huge facility are crafted from the gleaming white metal of the giant shark's robotic spine. Here and there, severed ribs shore up weaker armored bits and the complete effect is not unlike walking through a giant boneyard. Forcefields have been installed to protect those who are not fighting, though they are barely adequate at best. Someone else has installed standard Decepticon holographic training systems and this is unsurprisingly a popular location on Decepticon Island.

 Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Available Logistics personell are to report to.. the Decepticon Island Arena, immediately. That goes for anyone else, too!"

 Carjack dryly, "Well gee, for once you -don't- need me to put your fool aft back together? Whatever shall I do now."

 Impudent Fool Backfire says, "OBEY."

 Windshear snorts.

 Impudent Fool Backfire says, "See, I commanded Windshear to act like a pig.. AND HE'S SNORTING!!"

 Windshear cant help it and suddenly busts out laughing. "ok.. ok... you won this one, Backfire..."

 Impudent Fool Backfire gloats, "That's why -I'm- in charge, Windshee.. OW!"

So where does an idiot go to do WEIRD SCIENCE?

The Arena, because any sane medic wouldn't allow him to do so within one hundred yards of a proper facility. And so, they let Backfire do.. whatever it is he's going to do, in an area meant to handle chaos, destruction, and idiocracy.

Don't those fit the Seeker to a 'T'?

And so, Backfire is here.. having cleared the main area of any 'crap'. Right now he's struggling with a gigantic box, spare parts spilling out left and right. Dropping the container on the ground, Backfire kicks it for good measure.

"OW!" he gasps, the action sending a vibration through his hole leg.. and so he begins hopping on one foot, repeating the phrase. "Owie Ow Ow Owsers!"

The dead colored Seeker better known as Windshear strolls in smoking his usual enercig. As he enters he sees Backfire hoping around on one foot and owing. He pauses and watches. "Do I want to know?" he asks.

There's a whole set of Logistics regulations SPECIFICALLY for keeping Backfire from tooling around like the tool he is near any sort of important or valuable equipment. They have enough work to do in this lunatic faction without it involving patching some terminal together for the gabillionith time.

Needless to say its more out of his own morbid curiosity at what bizarre hijinks Backfire has gotten into this time than any 'order' to do so that draws Carjack down to the arena. But he just folds his arms as he watchs the simpleton struggle with the crate. "Y'know, there's a reason we have a lug like Deadlift that transforms into a -forklift- around."

Curious about what is going on himself is mostly what draws Buzzsaw down to the arena himself, as he flies into the arena and finds a nearby perch to sit on and watch the events unfold.

Dropping his foot, Backfire limps over towards Windshear and Carjack.. letting out tiny sighs of pain when the foot has any pressure on it. "ow" step "ow" step "ow" step, and so on. Finally coming to their position, the Seeker puts on a big smile. "Welcome my minions, for I.. BACKFIRE have called you here! To do.. uhh.. umm.." Backfire mumbles, trying to get his train of thought back on the right track.

"Oh yes, VERY IMPORTANT WORKZ!"

Hinder is recharging, currently no more than a small rectangle of off-white on the dead-looking Seeker's shoulder.

Windshear stares at Backfire and with a side glance at Carjack he reaches up to make sure Hinders Magna locked onto his shoulder and then just waits Backfire to ... continue..

Carjack lifts one arm just far enough to shake a finger at Backfire. "You may have position given to you but you yet to have the -respect- to be calling people 'minions', so lets keep this profession and just tell us what the slag you're dragging us all down here for, hmm?"

"Windshear, you are released from acting like a pig.. so SPEAK damn you!" Backfire points a finger at his more pale 'brother', "SPEAK LIKE A MECH!"

"Respect?" Backfire asks of Carjack, whirling around and striking a pose. "You don't need that to call people minions! I mean, that's stupid. Here, let me show you!" he yelps, stalking off towards a gumbie standing off to the side. "MINION, dump out the contents.." he points to the box he kicked before, "Of that container.. MINION!"

With a halfassed salute, the gumbie.. more afraid for his well being than anything, obliges and dumps the box out. Smiling, Backfire stomps right up to Carjack. "Backfire one, Carjack zero. So.." he pauses, glancing around. "What were you saying, minion?"

Slugfest also stares at Backfire. "Huh? What need container dumped for?" he asks, tilting his head slightly in curiosity. He runs over to Windshear and puts a little foot on Windshear's toe.

Buzzsaw just snickers at being called a minion by someone who he barely even knows.

Carjack looks about as unimpressive as you can as he refolds his arms again, "I'm still waiting for the explaination, 'sir'." The drawn out sarcastic emphasis on the sir is hard to miss. Unless you're a moron.

"Yes, I am a 'Sir'.. aren't I??" Backfire gloats, arms crossed over his chest. Jerking a thumb over his shoulder towards the spilled container, "What's left of that painting robot dude is in there.. pieces and thingie majigs and all sorts of NONSENSE!"

Pulling out a large piece of rice paper, Backfire lays it on the ground. "I want him rebuilt into a.. TERRIFYING DEATH MACHINE OF DEATH!"

The image, looks like something from Twisted Metal with giant wheels and spikes protruding from every possible fold. That's the lower half, the upper half has a giant shield in the form of a painter's tray (where the paint is put) and the other arm holds a giant lance in the form of a paintbrush. Finally, the afro-headed topper with nasty grin.

This is all drawn in crayon, FYI. Robin's Egg Blue, to be precise.

Carjack .... just lowers his face into one palm at the revelation. "You have got to be kidding me..."

Buzzsaw ponders wingpalming at the plan.

"What, are you telling me you cannot pull it off??" Backfire questions Carjack, flailing his arms around madly.

Buzzsaw decides to and just places his beak in his wing.

"No need to bow your beak, Buzzsaw." Backfire asides.

"No, I'm saying it's probably the craziest, most inane idea yet I've heard out of you." With a sigh the mad doctor makes an exaggerated gesture of rolling up non-exsistant sleeves and trudges over to the heap of parts. "On the other servo, I've always wanted to build my own Frankenstien monster."

"Exactly.. wait, what's inane mean?" Backfire asks, trotting over to the collected parts and strewing them about. Pointing at a couple gumbies off to the side, "You there, yes.. NO, the other two incompetent soldiers BEHIND you. Yes, I know no one is behind you.. OH SHUTTUP! Get over here and help Carjack with this Death Machine!"

The two gluttons for punishment nod and go about lining up all the parts. It's pretty tame by Transformer standards, being of human design and all.

Windshear is ignoring the fact that hes being called a minion. Instead when Slugfest puts his foot on his he looks down at him. "I have no idea, Slugfest what hes up to now. As long as we dont get blown up I suppose it will be ok though."

"Eeee blowed up?" Slugfest says, then runs off over to where Buzzsaw is. "No is sleepytime. Why hiding head?"

In the meantime, Backfire starts digging through other scraps off to the side.. soon enough coming back with some random wirings and boxes. "Carjack, I need this completed in a TIMELY manner.. order the others as you would." he offers, pulling a tire out of subspace all the while.

It -was- Backblast's, but the Seeker simpleton 'liberated' it when he was knocked out cold. "Incorporate this as well, another TROPHY from my exalted service!"

Buzzsaw squawks to Slugfest, "Not hiding head, wingpalming"

Carjack idly shakes what looks like it had been a part of Ross-bot's arms at Backfire. "You're just lucky I have a sense of humor." One that mostly just wants to see Backfire beated up again for when this cockamamy scheme of his goes south, but that's besides the point. Sitting down in the center of half sorted mess he pulls out a tool and starts monkeying away. "Pathetic human based materials, no wonder this thing bought it in a few shots."

Slugfest ohs. "Should me facefeets then?"

Buzzsaw chuckles at Slugfest, "With this plan, I think so."

Slugfest plants his little face right into his feets.

"Sure." Backfire replies, mumbling under his breath. "Whatever helps you get through a rest cycle, Carjack."

Snatching a large metal sheet, the Seeker starts to cut it into the rough shape of the shield.. glancing at the 'plans' early and often in his task. "Windshear, find a long pole.. one that will be FORGED into a great lance for our creation!"

Buzzsaw just shakes his head as he watches the events unfold below him, wondering what is going to happen next, findhing this whole thing high comedy.

Carjack retorts back darkly, "You have no idea how right your are...." as he's assembling what looks like is probably the motor or whatever for this... thing. Pauses just long enough to fling a random piece of metal at the gumbies. "Don't just stand there with your actuators up your exhaust manifold! He told you to help, so get to work already!" More inconsistant muttering under his breath as he keeps building.

With the shape cut, Backfire proceeds to punch the recesses into the metal sheet.. first heating it up to a pliable consistency, so as to not hurt his knuckles.

"Windshear.." BANG "Did you.." KRANG "Hear.." SMACK "Me?" THWACK

Slugfest just stands there confused. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed. "Wait wait wait. This for Galvatron birfday?"

Windshear puts his cig out and raises an optic ridge. "Now where in this room would there be a long pole?" Carjack looks up at the pounding sound, and siiiighs. "Backfire, you dipstick, use a hammer for that! Your knuckles are going to make the surface of the curve lumpy and uneven."

Buzzsaw looks down at Slugfest, "I dont think so. I dont know what this is for, but I dont think this is for Galvatron's birthday."

"It's just superficial, Carjack!" Backfire harks over his shoulder, still slamming his fists into the metal sheet. "They serve no purpose.. OR WAIT! Maybe they purposely serve? Ahahaha, I'm a subliminal genius!" he muses to himself.

When the task is completed, the Seeker simpleton trudges back towards Buzzsaw and Slugfest. "No, this is not for our.. celebration. And be quiet about that, it's a SURPRISE!"

".. Why the fark are you bothering to give it a shield if it's not for BLOCKING THINGS?" Then after the brief outburst Carjack realizes he probably doesn't care what the hell Backfire's warped lack of logic is, and just gets back to work. He pulls down his face shield and starts welding together a basic body frame and such.

"BECAUSE IT LOOKS COOL!" Backfire shouts.

Carjack was right, he really didn't care in the end

"Then what it for?" Slugfest wants to know. He starts running around in circles, revving his chainsaw plates!

"Hrm, I wonder!" Backfire shouts, leaning foward to snatch up the casseticon. "Death Machine of DEATH!"

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Backfire strikes Slugfest with his Idiotic Logic! (Grab) attack!

Carjack mutters under his breath as he works, "Great, now he's being redundant too."

Slugfest eees as he's snatched up! "Want cut something wif me?" he asks.

Backfire tosses Slugfest at Windshear, "No, I want -you- to make use of -him- and DO SOMETHING!"

Stalking back towards the shield, he hefts it up and hands it off to a couple of gumbies for painting. Leaning down to snatch up the old Bob Ross-Bot head, Backfire cradles it in his arms. "How does it fare, Carjack?" "EEEEEEEEEEEE!" Slugfest squeals, as Backfire tosses him!

Carjack picks up another piece of *fsssh fsssh fsssh* with the wielding torch to contiue assembling what at least vagely looks like the bodywork of some sort of contraption at least. "As about as good as it can considering you're using some slackaft human construct as the basis of parts for this thingamadoo."

"It doesn't have to last, only strike FEAR into the servos of my enemies!" Backfire calls back, making some adjustments to the head.

"Or laughing too hard to fight back, if you're lucky." Carjack has no shortage of snark tonight. Though at least he's working, right?

"Funny ha-ha!" Backfire scowls, finishing up the head piece and setting it aside. "But seriously, can you make due with that.. archaic CPU? I'd hate to waste anymore of Lord Galvatron's resources than I must."

The Seeker moves over towards another pile, grabbing out some more sheets for the metal bunker located in the mid-rift of the automation.

"As long as you don't want it to do anything too complex." Carjack pauses a moment. "I wonder if Swindle would sell us Brawl's processor like he did to the humans... not like the big thug is using it any," Shrugs and goes back to work.

Windshear stops his fruitless search for a pole as he sees a stegosaw hurled toward him. He has an instant flashback to the nide some stupid bot used sluggy to hack his side and wastes no time in catching the cassette. He looks at Backfire, "How would you like to be tossed like that?"

"Cease your moaning, Windshear. Slugfest is fine, he probably didn't even feel a thing!" Backfire laughs, setting up the four panels into a crude box.. welding a side in one fluid motion. Slugfest is caught in Windshear's arms! "Good catch!" he says.

Carjack is just ignoring all three morons by this point and focusing on the project, as idiotic as it may be, as a means of keeping himself from flipping out on all three of them for being baffoons.

Windshear shrugs and sets Sluggy on the floor then walks over and starts working on wherever Carjack points him.

With one side welded, Backfire begins work on the second.. and third. Zig-zaggy construction, of course. Not even qualifying for a decent weld, it holds however.. especially when Backfire breaks out the duct tape and starts wrapping it around the metal box.

Slugfest is set on feet. From there, he walks over to where Backfire is working.

Carjack continues grumbling about having to work with inferior parts and help alike as he works on wiring in basic movement controls now that he's gotten around to it. The stuff he puts up with doing for the sake of this faction.

Windshear welds up a corner of this contraption and then gets a call. "Ive just been ordered out on patrol..." he puts the welder down and smirks a bit, "Gee .. this.. sucks.." he can't help but chuckle and then walks out.

Hefting the box over towards Carjack, Backfire lays out the other parts in rough correlation to where they would fit. With the aid of gumbies, the Seeker simpleton manages to make most of the connections and set up the axles with wheels. Impatiently waiting for Carjack to finish his main assembly, Backfire paints some beady eyes over the calm, cool Bob Ross-Bot ones and attaches it to the top.

"Finished?" he inquires of Carjack, having the last piece of the 'puzzle'.

Carjack could say so, so many things about how crappy this is probably going to be... but Backfire said himself it only needed to last long enough to be frightening. Or a laughing stock, he's expecting. Maybe points for effort somewhere in there. So instead of being a snarkass he just pushes his faceshield back up. "As finished as it's going to be."

Backfire clasps his hands together, big smile smeared across his face. "Ahahaha, glorious.. is it not?"

Carjack says, "It's certainly -something-, I'll give you that much."

A small voice emits from wherever she's been hiding out while recharging -- probably now attached to the top of Slugfest's head since Windshear left -- sleepily and tersely, "It's Junk."

Slugfest cocks his head and stares at the object. "What it are supposed to be?"

"Something? No." Backfire replies, cold. Giving the machination a final once over, the Seeker gives a hearty laugh and paces before the contraption. "This is not a meager.. -something-. This is.."

"BOB ROSS-BOT REBORN AS A DEATH MACHINE OF DEATH!!"

Growing frustrated, Backfire walks over to Slugfest and leans down low. "I would think it's TITLE would be obvious, but let me drop some education on yo plated rear!"

"Death Machine of Death." Backfire states, calm. "Say it with me, Death Machine of Death. What's it do? Oh I dunno, it's a Death Machine of Death!"

Pretty soon, Backfire has turned it into a song.. and he's dancing a jig around the casseticon.

~It's a Death Machine of Death, What's it do? It's a Death Machine of Death, What's it do? It's a Death Machine of Death, What's it do?~

Carjack throws up his hands as he turns to tromp out of the arena now that his part of the idiotic scheme is done. "That's it, I'm outta here. I draw the line at rediculous musical numbers."