Decepticon Board Archive August 2029

All Killer, No Filler (Ramjet)


The winged insignia of Decepticon Aerospace spnins once and then fades, revealing the grim presence of Ramjet. He is leaned into the camera, his right arm propped against the edge of a desk. In his hot little hand is a chunky black box with a slender antenna jutting from the top and a red light set in the center, above two stubby nozzles. It swings slightly in Ramjet's hand, squeaking menacingly.

"Hhhh..." Ramjet breathes but says nothing at all.

Just about any Decepticon will recognize this as a null-ray module. Whirl's null-ray module. Mission accomplished. S-rank. He reaches in, turning a dial that clicks the transmission off. The winged Aerospace insignia returns.

Ramjet just brought pride back to Decepticon Aerospace.



Re: FWD: New Polyhex Expedition (Scrapper)
To: Air Commander Ramjet From: Chief Engineer Scrapper CC: Mixmaster

1. Sealing up tunnels isn't a major problem. The only question is, do we play it safe and just seal them up? Or do we play it /awesome/ and leave it open, but plant a minefield with laser turrets and collapsing ceilings? Decisions, decisions.

2. I've finally gotten some time to look over the asteroid sample since someone else apparently forgot (Mixmaster you giant dope, start reading your emails). Keeping in mind that a sample from one part of the asteroid doesn't necessarily mean that the entire planetoid is like this, but the sample given is suitable for major construction work. This is the sort of thing that we could break down and refine into heavily armoured base building materials.

NCC User Manual (Airwolf) (OOC)
It's now at the Wiki: http://transformers2005.wikia.com/wiki/New_Crystal_City.

Ajax Minor (Catechism)
Text Only

Catechism reporting. Blueshift, Redshift, Scourge, Monitor, Reflector, Fusion, Americon, and myself visited Ajax Minor. We recovered a package that was waiting for us there and it is to be delivered to Ramjet as soon as possible. Monitor also recovered data on Neo-Classical texts. We killed the leader of Ajax Minor, Sorvad, who has clearly been experimenting on our kind of some time and who was an avowed threat to our species. The planet, which was sort of inside-out, then started to fall apart. Two Autobots, Whirl and some random cassette, stowed away on our ship as we escaped. They, uhm, managed to escape us on Earth, but I'm calling the mission a success. We got two things that we wanted, we killed one of our enemies, and we kind of wrecked another planet. Good deal, I say. Commendations all around. Catechism, out.

End File

Re: Ajax Minor (Ramjet)
Text Only.

"Catechism, Redshift, Fusion, Blueshift, well done. Not only have you retrieved what I required but you've also terminated Sorvad. No Transformer shall ever again be slave to another, lesser species! I am raising your mission completion to an S-Rank and updating your service records accordingly. Well done! Ramjet, out."

"P.S. Deliver my package to Scrapper. Inform him this is parcel of what we had agreed upon."

New Agent (Wiretap)
The Decepticon logo appears on screen, along with the initials D.C.I. A new face appears on screen, the face of an oversized robotic weasel(or possibly a ferret, or some other similar Earth-creature). Blue-grey in colour, with piercing magenta optics and small silver teeth. "Decepticon Wiretap reporting. I have undergone appropriate diagnostics and training and am ready for active duty. Primary function: Communications. secondary functions: Scouting, repairs. You might not hear me... but I'm listening. Wiretap out." Wiretap's video feed is replaced by a file photo, along with technical specifications and dossier.

Argosy Salvage Operation (Scrapper)
TEXT ONLY

My apologies for not reporting on this earlier. I blame the problem on a glitch in the NCC computer banks where the C&P function (Compression & Packaging function) failed to save my initial report when in fact I thought it had. I'm having Hook go through the code to find the error.

At any rate, several evenings ago we took the Imperial Submarine Mantis to salvage what we could from the Argosy. We found the sky platform on the ocean floor, resting on its side at an angle. Using integrity enhancer forcefield devices, I, Scourge, Monitor, and Soundwave disembarked the Mantis to board the Argosy. Ramjet and Catechism stayed behind to watch over things from there.

We entered via the breach in the cargo hold that was caused by the initial Autobot attack and dispersed throughout the base from there. I went to engineering, Monitor to medical, and Soundwave stayed in the cargo hold. Somewhere along the line, the Autobots and EDC must have gotten wind of our operation, as they sent a team against us. Commander Scourge did a great job of holding the Autobots off, keeping both Grimlock and Broadside at bay. I, with Catechism's technical assistance, rewired the ship's energy core to overload and detonate, thereby ensuring the Autobots would find nothing of use in the wreckage.

The Argosy will never fly again, and detonating the core turned even more of the ship into rubble. We escaped with numerous hauls of equipment, and I can only assume the Autobots and EDCers managed to survive the explosion as well.

- Chief Engineer Scrapper

Victory at Kitty Hawk (Ramjet)
Text Only.

"I have killed the remaining Briar model and have conquered Earth's airspace for our own. The Despoiler may need additional repairs. Ramjet, out."

AAR: San Francisco (Blitzwing)
Blitzwing is still fiddling with the camera when the spinny goes away. "Is this thing... oh."

He sits down. "All right, yeah. So I would apologize for not having reported this earlier but it's not real important and I forgot about it and also I hate making reports."

He clears his throat and looks away to gather his thoughts a moment. "Lemme see, a few days ago I guess, one of the filthy hu-mans built a big batch of truck bombs and drove them at Autobot City by remote control to blow it up, which is pretty great I think. I figure we should encourage that kind of behavior among the hu-mans. Anyhow so the human, name like Kids' Shawnburger or Junior Meal Shawnburger, something like that, called me on the phone after the Autoboobs messed up his bomb plot."

Blitzwing indicates who is speaking during the following by using the universal gesture for 'on the phone' on either side of his head, and waggling alternating hands. "He was all 'halp halp Blitzwing Autobots are after me' and I was like 'go away I don't have any siding I live in a giant robot shark take me off your call list' and he went 'no it's me, Shawnburger Royale' and I'm like 'who I don't remember you' and he's like 'I'm a new kind of Shawnburger you remember the original Shawnburger it had a revolutionary two-chamber package that kept the hot side hot and the cold side cold' and long story short I figured out the deal and went to go rescue him from the Autobots so he could keep making truck bombs to try to kill 'em all, because we like when that happens."

Blitz, obviously already becoming bored with having to report, ejects his combat knife from the panel where he keeps it in his forearm and toys idly with it through the next bit. "Me and Long Haul got there a bit before the Bots did, but the Shawnburger with Cheese went back into the hotel to get his luggage full of secret sauce or whatever so we waited around outside and shot a whole grip of Bots and hu-man exos when they arrived. Oh, and Dirge and Ramjet and Fury did too, they showed up a little later. A couple of the hu-mans got out of their pretending-to-be-Transformers shells and tried to keep the Double Bacon Shawnburger from climbing out the window of the hotel but I shot them too and got him and brought him back to the base. So he's around here somewhere, he's probably a little burned from the shooting part because he was kinda close to the gyro shell explosion but he didn't seem too bad. I guess someone who knows about hu-mans and what they need should find him in the shark and make up a cardboard box with a blanket in it for him or whatever until we find a place to put him back on the surface where he can blow up Autobots with truck bombs without them catching him right away."

Blitzwing flicks the knife at the camera and the shot bursts into static which goes HSSSSSS until the spinny shows up again.

re: Cardboard Box (Blitzwing)
Blitzwing's face appears, on a new one of those Logitech Quickcams he buys in bulk. "Oh, but yeah, about the human and someone needing to look after him: NOT SUNDER. It's weird and unhealthy for Sunder and the human and whoever has to watch him cooing over it or whatever freak-out Sunder is on lately. So don't let Sunder take care of the human, all right? Long Haul or Swindle or somebody else who isn't messed up in the head should do it."

Despoiler: Repairs Necessary (Aether)
Aether appears on the vidscreen from the main NCC shuttlebay, looking rather distressed...

"Called into service to aid 'Air Commander' Ramjet's operation against the EDC, the Despoiler has suffered... remarkable damage. The port rocket thrusters are completely fused; most of the armor plating is good for only scrap metal; and the superstructure itself is almost certainly riddled with major stress fractures, from stem to stern, thanks to the 'agressive handling' I was required to perform.

"The damage is far beyond anything I can perform with my basic maintenance training. Someone needs to put the Despoiler back together if you intend on using it for anything more than an auxillery storage bay."

Spinny.

AAR: The Red Book of Sneaky Autobo (Catechism)
The spinny vanishes, showing Catechism with a dented cone, foremost among other injuries, and a disgruntled glint in her optics. She reports, "Discord intercepted chatter from the Autobots about the Steel Balloon and some book. A group of Decepticons hung in the air above the Koriolis Desert, waiting for the Autobots to emerge from the Steel Balloon. When they did, they were in the company of some nervous-looking neutral, who transformed into a drill-thing and dug away. Springer pointed the way to New Vilnacron's ruins, and we tailed the Autobots there. We followed them into a tunnel, where we saw them find a red book. As soon as we entered the tunnel, the Autobots blew a charge, trapping us here, and they revealed that the red book was just their inane Autobot Handbook in disguise." She makes a face. "We were forced into a pitched battle, Commanders Shockwave and Soundwave, Blueshift, a bunch of tapes," read: gumbies, "including Americon," read: not a gumby, "and I against Springer, Whirl, Impulse, Fireflight, and Silverbolt. Those cowardly Aerialbots picked on Blueshift and must be taught a lesson for their impudence! The strange riddler cassette was also there but did not engage, preferring to remain hidden. In the end, the Autobots had enough of the combat and attempted to collapse the entire place, but we escaped. The Empire prevails!" Catechism raises a hand in salute. "This report has been brought to you by the letter R."

Return of the Spinny, now in technicolour

MEMO: Olympics (Galvatron)


"DECEPTICONS.

"Once again, the Olympics are upon us. We have withstood the loss of our Russian campaign... weathered a civil war that pitted comrade against comrade. We have /endured/. But it is not enough merely to survive.

"We must use these Olympics to show that the Decepticons will never falter in their dominance. We must outperform the Autobots in every possible capcity. We cannot simply eke out a mere /victory/... we must /CRUSH/ them!"



"They must know not only /defeat/, but /HUMILIATION/! We must hurt them where Autobots invest themselves the most -- their foolish /pride/ and their belief in /fairness/ and /equality/! I declare now -- these games will /not/ be equal! Because you -- YOU, my /Decepticons/ -- will not allow a single Autobot victory! We must defeat them in every category, every event, every exhibition... and with Americon's little /human/ friend, our glorious propaganda campaign shall destroy their spirits further!

"I WILL NOT accept failure, my Decepticons. I. Will. Not. Accept. /Failure/."



OOC: Past RP! (Galvatron) (OOC)
I forgot to say it in my post on Board 1, but it's especially important for you guys... if you have past RP you need / want me to be aware of, please please please @mail me!

Thanks! Galv

MEMO: Olympic Truce (Galvatron)


"As of today... the... hhcch. /Truce/ begins. All Decepticons are to cease open hostilities against the Autobots and their /human/ allies until such time as the Olympics have ended. I of course expect no fraternization, no camaraderie, no recognition of the Autobots as anything but /scum/ to be /wiped/ from our /HEELS/ -- but I am prepared to /overlook/ it, in the OLYMPIC SPIRIT, provided it results in usable intelligence being gained.

"Your orders for the Olympics are to WIN.

"Galvatron out."



FWD: MEMO: Olympic Truce (Ramjet)
FORWARDED MESSAGE TO: Catechism, Redshift From: Ramjet Text Only

"Frak. Spread word to the rest of the Wings. Make me look bad in front of the Emperor and I will personally frag you. Ramjet."

ATTACHED MESSAGE: MEMO: Olympic Truce

RE: MEMO: Olympic Truce (Thrust)
To: Ramjet@aol.com, Dirge@deadjournal.com From: Thrust@ChiefCasinos.com Text Only

"I will be on Earth for a couple more days scouting out targets for once the truce is over. We really need to win the Battle for Earth soon. I have a huge supply of poker chips arriving and some craps tables arriving from a Rob Leefield's Sewer Services. If I don't have my casinos up and running soon... I'll have to figure out another fundraiser project for Aerospace.

Ramjet, what is a truce? It means not fighting your opponent, right? I thought we had one with Superion since Monday. He watched you kill that human and left."

Re: RE: MEMO: Olympic Truce (Ramjet)
To: Dirge, Thrust From: Ramjet Text Only.

"Truce means I want you to go hide somewhere, Thrust. Hide somewhere very, very far away and stay there for the next three weeks. Ramjet."

To: Dirge From: Ramjet Text Only.

"Promise me in our next life, we won't reincarnate with him. Ramjet."

RE: Re: RE: MEMO: Olympic Truce (Thrust)
To: Ramjet, Dirge From: Thrust Text Only

"Affirmative. I will be turning off my radio now as I hide in Galvatron's office. I tried to hide where Sunder normally is but there was too much spiny things there for my liking. And Galvtron has a great video game system.

Ramjet, what's your favorite color? Mine is maroon."

RE: Aerospace (Galvatron)
ATTN: Ramjet, Thrust FROM: Galvatron TEXT ONLY

Do you cretins not understand the concept of communicating via personal radio?

Additionally, touching any of my personal belongings shall henceforth be punishable by torture and inexorable death.



RE: Aerospace (Ramjet)
To: Galvatron From: Ramjet Text Only.

"Yes, of course, Great One! Your wisdom is inspiring. Ramjet."



To: Chimera From: Ramjet Text Only

"Break out the emergency enerbooze and bring it to my office immediately. Ramjet."



BOUNTY: Blueshift (Galvatron)
ATTN: All FROM: Galvatron Text Only

The first Decepticon to knock Blueshift out of either Olympic competition shall receive a king's ransom in energon.

Blueshift must not win -- the Decepticons could not afford such a catastrophic joke.



By your command (Geist)
A simple voice message from Geist. "Your will be done, my Lord. Blueshifts journey towards gold in Full Combat has been halted."

MEMO: Olympics Week One (Galvatron)


"/INCOMPETENCE/!

"Not only have you -- ALL OF YOU -- failed me and let the Autobots collect medals, but their awards OUTNUMBER OUR OWN! NNNNNGGHHHG!"



"There are two more weeks left in this vapid and insipid competition, my legions, and if you /fail me/ there, as well, I will not -- be -- quite -- so -- PLEASANT!"



"DO WHATEVER YOU MUST TO WIN. Lie, cheat, steal, sabotage events, I authorize all of it! The Olympics, as far as the Decepticons are concerned, are hereby fair game for subterfuge! We must outrank the Autobots, at /ANY/ cost!

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!"



(OOC: Let's see how far we can push playing dirty, girls.)

Inquiry (Geist)
Encoded text message to Command rank 5 and above I am not aware of how many others have penetrated the Temple puzzles all the way to the Central Glacial Chamber, however I reached it yesterday morning. And no one was there at the time. I returned there shortly after the Sharpshooting contest to keep looking around and see who else may have mastered the riddles to enter. A short time ago I heard the final puzzle door being accessed and quickly cloaked. The Autobots Peacekeeper, Impulse and Sky Lynx entered. They are currently investigating and speculating on what has been found. Communication at this time is limited due to the dragon's annoying ability to intercept radio transmissions. This txt msg is getting xpnsive. Geist. p.s. The promised bounty will be recievable after these games. No hurry.

OOC: Head Mail and You (Galvatron) (OOC)
Just an OOC heads-up.

A few nights ago Galvatron installed Americon's horrible, horrible Head Mail freeware, which was an attempt to sabotage the fake Galvatron during the Civil War. Basically, sending Galvatron an instant message or e-mail via it causes a blinding, crippling migraine. Likewise, using emoticons on the broadband. Geo and Americon have both tried to delete it from him so far, with no luck.

Basically, it makes Galv go all Frank Welker. Exploit it for laughs / drama / whatever as much as you like, I'm not going to ICly kill people over it. But word will have quickly passed around the faction that 1. Americon is handling Galvatron's email, 2. something is wrong with Galvatron's skull thanks to him.

It's not permanent, just something to help liven up the peacetime.

Galv

Another OOC: Con Meeting? (Galvatron) (OOC)
Hey dudes, sorry to keep dropping OOC stuff on the faction board.

This one's kind of important though, if spur of the moment! Right now the whole game is caught up in the Olympic Fever (or enough to put getting our war on in a half nelson for a bit longer, anyway) but coming out of the Olympics and coming into the big shoes of Galvimus, I think it's prudent to hold some kind of OOC player meeting, just so a good read can be gotten on people's feelings on the faction, where it's going, where they'd like it to go, etc -- not only as a tool to help me as a fachead and tp staffer represent you guys, but so we all have a forum to get in each other's grills and kill each other. I mean, get a view of what our fellow players are interested in and if nothing else, find like-minded souls and possibly get some new fires going!

Due to back-to-school preparation this upcoming weekend will be bad for me -- but what about, like, Thursday, August 21st, at something like 6:00 pm EST, and maybe again on Friday, same time, for people who can't make Thursday? I'm not married to these times, and we can always just do something on Monday so it's after the Olympics, but you know, get back to me on this if you think it's a good idea or a bad time or what! I'm interested in what you guys have to say.

Galv

MEMO: Space Yacht (Galvatron)


ATTN: Engineering

We have come into possession of an FTL-capable space yacht. Prepare it to be used as a short-range shuttle, as well as randomized ID scrambling, modular aesthetic components, and compartments capable of hiding our soldiers, so we may use it as a decoy when necessary.

The masseusses are mine and mine alone.

I want to see results by the end of the Olympics.

Galvatron.

<End message>

OOC: Faction Meetings! (Galvatron) (OOC)
OK!

Now that the Olympics are over, and since no one has upbraided me over the times, the faction meetings are scheduled thusly:

- Thursday, August 21, 7:00 PM EST - Friday, August 22, 6:00 PM EST

Since Thursday is the EDC FFA, Olympics-wise, we can afford to start a bit lated. Those who can't make it on Thursday are encouraged to come Friday -- this isn't one meeting spread across two nights, but more two chances to get involved for people who can't make one.

The tentative agenda of the meetings is thus:

- Are you happy with the current state of the Decepticons, coming out of the Civil War plotline? Why (not)? (Civility is a must in this, of course.) - What sort of plots would you like to see the Decepticons get involved in in the future? Where would you, as a player, like to see the faction go, spatially or metaphysically or otherwise, that would make roleplaying more fun for you? - I'm your new Galvatron. What do you expect of me, and what can I do, in your opinions, to make the Decepticons the most fun for the most people?

Issues can always be suggested via @mail beforehand or at the meeting itself. It's a bit openended, but I hope that makes it more suited to people opening up and getting their thoughts out there. I encourage you to think about the topics and about any issues you might want to add to them. (Just remember that this isn't the spot for airing out interpersonal grievances!)

Any questions, any anything, page me, @mail me, email me, roger me, wilco me, etc.

Galv

New addition to the cause (Shockwave)
<The Decepticon spinny disappears and is replaced by a familiar face with a blinking yellow optic in the middle>

"During one of my recent expedition into Cybertron's underground, I have come across a deactivated seeker. The core was slightly damaged but repairable. I have made the necessary adjustments to make it functional enough for reviving. The body was more easily repaired however. In any case I took it upon myself to reactivate the seeker in question as part of an experiment. He goes by the name of Photon now and will be assigned to Military Operations until his indoctrination is finished. After that he will be transfered over to Aerospace."

His face moves closer to the camera

"Now I know the kind of stupid prank people like to pull on new arrivals. If anyone tries to mess with my experiment during it's early stages, I will be very...annoyed. Until "Photon" has settled in, help him around as best you can."

"End of line."

<Shockwave's face disappears and is once more replaced by the Decepticon spinny.>

ORDERS (Galvatron)
<Video memo from Galvatron, seated atop his throne.>

"DECEPTICONS.

"We did not achieve the ... CRUSHING victory I had hoped for, but we came ahead in the Olympics. This is good. But it is NOT ENOUGH! NOWHERE /NEAR/ ENOUGH! Beginning today, we will redouble and refocus our efforts to DESTROY our ENEMIES and run roughshod over not only Cybertron, but also Earth, and ANY other world we so choose, until the GALAXY is under /MY/ CONTROL!

"These are your orders. Listen carefully -- they shall not be repeated.

"Some of you are privy to an upcoming campaign that I will /not/ discuss in this broadcast. This mission will continue as planned. The Retoris tunnels must be properly scouted so that we can concoct proper countermeasures to Autobot security there. This will happen as soon as possible -- DCI and Engineering, this is a job for the both of you.

"Engineering will also begin work on our replacement for the Argosy. We cannot let such a brazen attack on our holdings stand -- and the only option is to go bigger, to create an even more spectacular display of our UNSTOPPABLE MIGHT! More firepower! More protective measures in case of assault! I want an air platform that is not just an /air platform/ -- I want a /space platform/! I want a /STARSHIP/! AND MY WILL SHALL BE /DONE/!

"To finance this construction... if possible, we will work with Shawn Berger to figure out ways to rip off human economic measures and turn their own system against them. In more practical methods, though, Aerospace will continue the planned raid of Junk. We will blitz them until they have no scrap metal left to give! And it will go to /MY/ vision... /MY/ STARSHIP!"

<Video continues>

ORDERS II (Galvatron)
<Continued from previous post; video memo of Galvatron on his throne.>

"Currently in our way, however... are the Autobots and the EDC, who seem to be gaining steam. We must snuff it out as expediently as /possible/. DCI and Shockwave's Military division will get a bead on what exactly these /humans/ are capable of -- spy on them, engage them in 'test' battles, do whatever you must to find their weaknesses that we may exploit them... and the strengths of their technology, that we may /steal/ it and use it /ourselves/, /AGAINST/ them.

"The Autobots remain a thorn in my side. I hereby order random raids and displays of violence and chaos to be employed by anyone who is not busy carrying out my will any /other/, more /useful/ way. Keep them distracted and running around, looking for patterns where /none/ exist... while they struggle with our left hand, they will never see the knife in the right. Hnnh hnnh hnnh.

"To further this... SWEEPS, your new hunt begins. I want the /laser cores/ of JAZZ, BLASTER, NIGHTBEAT, and IMPULSE, and I want them on a chain I can wear around my neck -- so they'll be the last thing Rodimus Prime sees when I finally snuff the life out of him! Without those four, the Autobots' Intelligence is crippled, and so too are the Autobots as a whole!

"GO! FAILURE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! MY /WILL/ WILL NOT BE /DENIED/!"

<Message ends.>

Fission Mailed (Scrapper)
Scrapper appears on the screen, looking roughed up. "Onslaught, Ravage and I partook in an oil raiding operation in Texas. But due to lack of /support/ from the members of the team that weren't me, the mission failed and we were unable to get any energon. Ravage and I are out for moderate repairs. Scrapper out."

Body Recovery (Cyclonus)
Cyclonus appears on the screen, standing in the NCC medbay. Behind him, lying on tables are three ancient dead bodies. One is a Decepticon seeker, one is an Autobot tank, and one is an almost unrecognisable charred robot.

"Decepticons! Upon an excursion to the Nepsan north pole, a squad including myself, Catechism, Barrage and Scourge were able to deal with the Nepsan government and recover the Cybertronian bodies within the glacier. They are now in medbay awaiting examination. This will be MSE's TOP PRIORITY."

"The Autobots Sheng and Keeper were also present, but posed no threat. They did however manage to escape with their lives. But since their lives are worthless, there is little to worry about. Cyclonus out."

The screen goes dead.

Combat analysis (Avalanche)
<Avalanche appears on screen.> My fellow Decepticons, Avalanche reporting in. I would like to report the successful strike near the Autobot's headquarters. Though my team consisting of Bandit, Sunder, Dredclaw, and myself, did more than just show our superior abilities in combat; We were also able to aquire something that I consider crucial data. This is being that the Autobots only sent their more...unique soldiers to engage us. They were ultimately defeated without any hope of victory. To me, this says that they are focusing their forces elsewhere. This may be the time to possibly plan much more...beneficial missions? However, this is simply my analysis on the situation. Avalanche, reporting out. <Avalanche then blips off the screen>