Dragged Along, Kicking and Screaming

Northwestern States The Northwestern states, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming range from the rainforests and sometimes volcanic mountains of northeastern Washington to the white-sand beaches and sea-carved monoliths of Oregon to the odd combination of lakes, fertile farmlands, and black lava desert in Idaho to Yellowstone Park in the high plateaus and deserts of Wyoming to the stunning peaks and lush valleys of Montana.

SUNDAY! SUNDAY!! SUNDAY!!

Or so the commerical goes, announcing the newest attraction at a near bankrupt paint supply store.

ONE DAY ONLY.. Bob Ross-Bot will be showcased at.. PAINT WORLD!! As is custom here on Earth, -anything- with the potential to draw Decepticon or terrorist activity.. Autobot security is petitioned. Now whether they show up or not, is entirely up to them. And so here, in Portland, Paint World is a literal carnival of families, merchants, artists, crictics, clowns, etc.. all having came together for the great unveiling!

A paint sale is a perfect place for a Junkion looking for discount enamels and latexes. Not so much the latexes. But he's here with an order list a mile long, and a gumby Junkion transport to load up cans of paint with, and of course he has payment ready.

Would the Decepticons even be insane enough to bother with -paint-? Or desperate. Then again, they are in pretty rough shape over there. Trypticon's paint job is probably shot from re-entry burn.

More seriously, there's a lot of people around, and that's always a tempting target for causing destruction.

Fortunately there's several trees around, so Hot Spot has something to lean on without getting in the way of possibly stepping on a spectator. Far from loitering though, but at the moment he's not got much to say out loud as he coordinating perimeter patrolling by other Autobots around the general region.

Just to be on the same side.

For the Autobots' Intelligence Director, this mission was a little business and a little pleasure rolled into one. Always loving the Earth's many cultures and rituals, it wasn't surprising that Jazz had an interest in checking out this robot painter up close and personal.

Cruising in his spiffy Porsche mode, the Autobot makes his rounds around the city block. <>

Pulling into a parking space, the Porsche attempts to blend in with the crowd, rolling its windows down and offering a little rock 'n' roll from his high-powered sound system. For those passing by, they'll figure the owner's run off to use the porta-potty for a few minutes.

MILES AWAY!!

An ever familiar orange and brown F-16 Falcon streaks through the skies, diving into a cloud formation for the sheer joy of it. Things like subtlety or strategy don't mean much, when this particular Seeker is concerned. <> Backfire emits on the local broadband, well aware that he's being followed once again.

Ever since Ravage caught him in questionable activities in Iacon's Sub-Level Six and the Planet Junk.. the idiot savant has been regarded with a watchful eye. Or maybe they're bored? Either way, they're there.. and Backfire is all aware.

<> the dolt emits back to some gumbie jets.

Once more Darkwing seems to be following the 'con's resident idiot. Though this time more for his own reasons. Being the ever depressive and dour jet he is, he can't resist a chance to disrupt a celibration. Stupid little germs trying to blind theemselves to the futility of the universe with bright colors and rides they think will never break down, or those pale faced fools that make spectiles of themselves to try and make others luaghs. Darkwing didn't give a slag about the goal, he just wanted to rain gloom down and make people's day worse.

Ju-87 Stuka  slots into formation behind Backfire without warning, riding his wing vortex for a little bit of an easier ride.

<> No snide comments, no sarcasm; just simple and professional. <>

IF YOU WOULD ALL GATHER AROUND!

The owner/organizer for this event calls out over a megaphone in front of the store. Sit-Com is regarded with a frown. "Sorry uhh, robot dude.." Mister Roberts speaks through the megaphone to the Junkion, which he thinks is just a third rate Autobot. "The sale isn't until AFTER the unveiling!" And so he turns back to the crowd in general, herding them together and formed into a neat little semi-circle around the display case. A large red cloth is draped over the object.

"Are you ready?" Mister Roberts questions in the microphone, before repeating himself again.. in a louder tone. "I SAID ARE.. YOU.. READY???" The crowd goes wild, a chorus of cries and shouts.

Bob Ross is one of Sit-Com's heros! Reruns of Joy of Painting on PBS are a staple of Junkion midday TV. More entertaining than if Sandra hid the real will. Sit-Com nods at the organizer. "I'm waiting with baited breath."

Everything seems quiet so far... but how long will it stay that way?... He's not trying to be suspicious, but it sort of comes with the job. Especially with this many people around. But an Autobot can still hope nothing is going to happen, Hot Spot crossing his arms over his square chest and watching the show.

<> The Porsche keeps its position near the front of the store, keeping a check on sensors as well. It doesn't take him long to notice /something/ of interest on them. A BLIP lights up his interior and Jazz opens his radio back up.

<> Lowering his rock 'n' roll down, the Porsche makes a check of his tactical systems, powering them up, but still keeping his position hidden among the group of humans and various cars parked in the area.

HIGH ABOVE IN THE CLOUDS!!

The F-16 banks low, already having passed Portland.. it tears through another cloud and comes back around, dead heading for Paint World. <> Backfire lies, acting jovial. In truth, the two have some.. uneasy times between them. Most of the problem lying with the idiot Seeker, rather than the propeller head. <> Crap. Why is everyone so obsessed with plans? Seriously. They're so overrated. Backfire thinks to himself, show up.. shoot at some stuff.. does it need to be complicated?? <>

Transforming and pulling short of main street, the simpleton ducks behind a large outlet store. "This will be easy pickings!"

The F-16 Falcon transforms with that ever-familiar sound to reveal... BACKFIRE!

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Protected.

Ju-87 Stuka  sighs when she hears there's no real plan, her hologram pulling her goggles over her eyes. <>

The Stuka drops down low, theoretically shielded by the terrain from any Autobot sensors. Four fat 250kg bombs hang below her fusellage, while out on her wings there are four smaller, 50kg bombs - with a fifth hidden between the larger bombs. While she doesn't appear on any sensors, Hot Spot and Sit-Com might recognise the unique sound of her Junkers Jumo 210 engine...

A thick fog rolls into the town, blanketing it in what can only be described as.. cotton candy fog. Don't ask. Unbeknowest to the civilians (and probably the Autobots) is a crew of Gumbies set up west of Portland. And as you've probably guessed it, operating a 'Swindle's Fog-o-Matic'. A special device, no lie, that really makes it hard for anyone to get a fix on the surrounding areas.

THEN WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU!!

Mister Roberts announces, yanking the red drape down with one fluid motion. What's revealed, is kinda odd. It's a blocky robot, with an afro. Really. One arm has a giant paintbrush attached for a hand, and the other a large paint tray with all sorts of COLORS already in the small recesses. "GREETINGS, I AM BOB ROSS-BOT. I AM HERE TO PAINT AND CHEW BUBBLE-GUM!" he emits, a tiny red light blipping on and off in tune to his robotic voice, hidden behind a grand smile. "AND BOB ROSS-BOT IS ALL OUT OF BUBBLE-GUM!!"

The joke gets the crowd laughing, as they all pack in to get a better look at him. MEANWHILE, a tiny boy knocks on Hot Spot's ankle. "Are you Superman?" he asks, staring up at the Protectobot.

Hot Spot lifts a hand to rub his forehead briefly as the Ross-Bot starts talking more like a Junkion than anything else. How does he get into these missions sometimes? Then looks up again a few moments later. Was that the sound of a prop-plane nearby? Don't they usually clear flight air near large gatherings such as this. Maybe he should call Blades in to do an aerial sweep, just to make sure...

The light rapping at his leg distracts his attention though. Hot Spot looks down to the child for a moment, then lowers down to one knee so he's not towering over the tiny in comparison boy and smiles. "No, I'm not 'Superman'," he's been on Earth long enough to know that little cultural tidbit at least, "But I do the same job of protecting people in danger."

"O Great Bob-Ross Bot! Show us the miracle of happy lil trees! And happy lil bushes!" Sit-Com calls out.

As the pseduo-fog rolls into the area, Jazz makes an internal check of his calendar, <>

Distracted by the cloudy air, Jazz loses track of the energy signatures on his sensors. He watches the Robo-Ross, hoping this fun event doesn't head south all of a sudden. It appeared like the robot was performing just fine from his humor. Let's hope it stayed that way.

<>

DOWN THE BLOCK!

Trying to keep silent, aided by the fog that rolls through town at exactly the right moment, Backfire sneaks up the street and towards Paint World. One good thing about a local hoo-hah, it usually means the streets are clear. If he were smart, he'd probably be looting something else. But alas, Backfire is no thinker.

Noticing Banshee stay to the air, the Seeker simpleton smiles and opens up their broadband. "Good, keep air support while I and.." Backfire swings around to make sure the gumbie crew are still behind him. "The ground crew move into position!"

 Das Stukacon Banshee says, "Avaiting confirmation of my attack."

<Decepticon> Windshear mumbles, "Im awaiting confirmation of finding a way out of the undersea base without getting wet...."

<Decepticon> Darkwing says, "Just get over tyour Aquaphobia already coward."

<Decepticon> Windshear snorts, "You have no clue..friend..."

<Decepticon> Darkwing says, "I do, you keep going on and on about it. Mech up already."

"HAPPY LITTLE TREES??" Bob Ross-Bot turns to face Sit-Com, "HAPPY LITTLE TREES??" the tiny red light behind his fake smile lights up. Breaking out a canvas, the machination sets it upon a giant easel and goes to work.. spouting all sorts of pre-programmed quotes all the while. "IN PAINTING, YOU HAVE UNLIMITED POWER! YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO MOVE MOUNTAINS. YOU CAN BEND RIVERS!"

Bob Ross-Bot happily denotes, painting a nice scenery of a mountain surrounded by a lake and of course.. happy little trees surrounding the water's edge. Turning around to wink, a bit clunky since it's just a metal shutter closing, "BUT WHEN I GET HOME, THE ONLY THING I HAVE POWER OVER, IS THE GARBAGE!"

The crowd eats it up, laughing and amazed by the technical and artistic display. Across the way, the little boy starts crying.. running to find his mother. In the parking lot, the town drunk is leaning up against Jazz.. guzzling some cheap wine from a bottle, covered in a brown paper sack AND quite possibly wetting himself.

<Decepticon> Windshear laughs coldly, "I am no coward.. and I am mech enough to admit when there is something that does /bother/ me.. instead of faking it and making myself look like even a bigger fool..."

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Stop whining, we're on a SEEKRIT MISHUN!"

<Decepticon> Windshear chuckles, "I missed the memo on it, Backfire."

<Decepticon> Galvatron says, "Why, the more you complain, Windshear, the more I get the idea to assign you an underwater op without a submarine."

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "I was supposed to send MEMOS??"

<Decepticon> Darkwing says, "There is nothing to be afraid of the end is going to come for us all sooner or later. If you just accept your going to drown now, and hav all yoru circuity slowly vower load, while you feel every little thing as your laser core slowly extinquishers, you'll be better off."

<Decepticon> Windshear says, "Yea you have to tell mechs what the orders are or they wont know whats going on -- and my Lord, if I may humbly remind; I am not a recruit from the pits, I chose to join the Empire freely, sir.""

Yeah, he's most definitely wetting himself. :(

Hot Spot doesn't like this seemingly random shift in the weather. There was just something about it that was making his sparkplugs sizzle in the same 'gut feeling' manner as Jazz is getting. He's about to suggest the boy go find his mother... but it seems like he already is. If he's crying because of the creepy weather shift or not he's not going to waste the time thinking about now, though, and pushes himself back to his feet.

<<I really am not liking this,>> he mutters over the local com-chan. <<You're closest to the artist, Sit-Com, keep an optic on the crowd over there. I'm going to move a bit closer.>>

And that he does. With slow, measured steps, looking down at the ground moreso than usual to make sure he doesn't step on or bump over something down in the fog. At least he's not in the thick stuff near the ground thanks to his height, but it's still getting a bit soupy either way. This fog was a lot more dense than he remembers fog being....

<Decepticon> Windshear answers Darkwing, "Well... "

<Decepticon> Galvatron says, "May I not-so-humbly remind that should it come to it, I would be happy to send you back to the pits that you came from in pieces. You belong to me, now. In pieces, or alone for the Autobots to inevitably destroy or for lack of repairs to cause the toll of time, it matters little to me. Mind your place, very carefully, Windshear. Next time I will not be so cheerful and explenatory."

Jazz usually didn't mind being accompanied by humans, but there was a difference between the norm and the guy leaning against his finely-polished frame.

A yellow stain.

Noticing the foul man and his drunken state, Jazz immediately pops his clutch into reverse and taps the gas pulling out of the parking space. A voice from behind the Porsche's tinted windows calls out, <<Yo dude! I think you better get your pipes checked, because it looks like you're leakin' some quaker state down there!>>

Turning his headlights on, the Porsche slowly rolls away, starting to run a mini-patrol across the block. Although the streets are pretty much empty, Jazz can't help but think something's going on out there. <<Reminds me of that video game Resident Evil I saw some kids messin' with the other day!>>

The Junkion suddenly notices the odor produced by the yellow stain. "They call it mellow yellow," he says to Jazz. Then he turns to the drunk guy. "Get back into life, with Depend."

When Bob-Rossbot speaks, Sit-Com listens. "Hallowed is the black gesso."

ELSEWHERES..

Backfire creeps down an adjoining alleyway, padding up right behind Paint World.. he turns around to regard the gumbies with a finger over his mouth. "Sneaky sneak, all of you!" he whispers, crawling uneasily on the giant building.. flattened out to remain out of sight. The gumbies mill around the back and sides of the building, being of smaller size.. easier to keep hidden.

"This is Ground-Hog to Night-Hawk.." Backfire emits to Banshee. "Pick your targets and fire at will, that goes for you too.. Slightly-More-Emo-Night-Hawk-2! Ground-Hog out!"

And so the simpleton crawls forward, this must be one STRONG building! Or so he thought, when all of a sudden.. the roof collapses!! Outside the storefront, a cloud puff of dust and debris is pushed out the door and douses the general crowd with a pelting.

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "This is Ground-Hog to Night-Hawk!"

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Pick your targets and fire at will.."

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "That goes for you too.. Slightly-More-Emo-Night-Hawk-2! Ground-Hog out!"

<Decepticon> Das Stukacon Banshee says, "Ja."

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire is an idiot, why he's using codenames on the Decepticon channel is anyone's guess. :P

<Decepticon> Darkwing hasn't been listening to Backfire for a while now. Its just white noise to him...

Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> pops up from cover and pours on the power, popping up from cover and gaining altitude, fast. She's rapidly lost in the sun, and gone for long enough for people to think she might be running away..

When she comes into view again moving at an insane speed, in a ninety-degree dive. The sirens on her undercarriage wail their morose note as she lines up on Hot Spot.

A 50kg bomb drops from a wing as she pulls up hard, the maneuvre extreme enough even to make a Cybertronian suffer some; that much is clear from the wordless growl she can't help but broadcast.

The bomb sails down from above with a whistle, heading straight for the big blue mech.

Combat: Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> sets her defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> strikes Hot Spot with her 50kg GP Bombs attack!

<Decepticon> Das Stukacon Banshee says, "...Sheiss. Unt I haff been decorating unt preparing ze Flat Iron. On mein own! Mein kommandant, I must protest!"

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Protest on your own time, Banshee.. uhh I mean. Ground-Hog to Night-Hawk, complain on your own time!"

<Decepticon> Galvatron says, "Paitence, Banshee. Soon things will reveal themselves as appropriate."

<Decepticon> Das Stukacon Banshee opens her mouth to bite back to Backfire when Galvatron speaks. Demurely, she simply says "Jawohl."

<Decepticon> Galvatron says, "Backfire, when you have completed your current operation be certain to give out orders publically and address your 'troops'"

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "At once, Lord Galvatron!"

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "Err, I mean.. once I'm done. Yeah."

<Decepticon> Geo says, "... yes, my Lord."

Throught the fog Darkwing drops lower, he's going after the star of this farce. Having long ago stopped listening to their 'leader'. He activates his targeting systems and aims at the Bob Ross-Bot, and opens fire with a volley of lasers.

"Your slagging happy little tries can go die in a fire!" He growls

Combat: Darkwing strikes Bob Ross-Bot with his JEALOUS RAGE (and lasers) attack!

Combat: Bob Ross-Bot falls to the ground, unconcious.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

Mister Roberts calls out, as they're all pelted with debris and dust forced out of the front door. And so, they all run rampantly.. knocking eachother over in the mad-dash, trying to get to saftey.. though making an even bigger mess in the process. Bob Ross-Bot doesn't pay it any mind, however.. even after the wet paint is covered in dust. He just keeps painting, "AND THAT MAKES IT LOOK LIKE BIRCH TREES, ISN'T THAT SNEAKY??" the robot asks aloud.

"IT'S GORGEOUS!"

Meanwhile, the Decepticon gumbies are piling out of the alley-way.. rifles leveled at anything that stands in their way, but given the debris and dust.. all they can find is Bob Ross-Bot.

So they just point their guns at him, "Step away from the painting!" Buzzkill calls out, a medium yellow Seeker.. probably the leader of this rag-tag group. When suddenly, the robot is blown to SMITHEREENS by Darkwing's shots! No more happy little trees. :(

Hot Spot pauses as he reachs the edge of the crowds, confused for a moment as he overhears people muttering about the fog.. tasting like cotton candy? While not having a sense of taste persay, the Protectobot does have fairly strong olfactory sensors, mainly meant for detecting smoke or gas leaks. But turning them on, sure enough, gets an unusually sweet scent from the 'fog'.

Then there's a crash from somewhere in the background.

But more importantly is the sound overhead as the buzz of a propellor plane gets louder, followed by the whistling of a bomb being drop. Oh no you don't, not on his watch! "EVERYONE GET TO SHELTER!", booms his voice to the crowd, even as he braces himself and throws his hands up as if to catch the bomb.

Actually, that's exactly what he does.

The result is a rather vibrant explosion as one would expect, even burning away some of the 'cotton candy' fog with the smoke and flames of impact. When the smoke clears Hot Spot is still standing here, hands in front of his now scorched chestplate holding the smoldering remains of the bomb, having caught it against his body to shield the humans in the crowd behind him from the actual explosion. With a grunt he pulls himself upright fully. followed by the *CRRRK* of metal as he crunchs what remains of the nosecone in between his hands in a display of defiance. "We've got unexpected and unwanted company, Autobots... let's show these fiends why they shouldn't be crashing innocent parties just because they don't like the cheerful mood! These people are counting on us to protect them!"

Combat: Hot Spot inspires White Porsche 935 <Jazz> and Sit-Com with moving and noble words!

"NOOOOOOOO!" Sit-Com screams in anguish, as the gruesome emo seeker guns down Bob-Rossbot!" The pep-talk from Hot Spot inspires him!

"Though I know I should be wary, Still I venture someplace scary Ghostly Hauntings, I turn loose...... Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!" The Junkion raises his sonic pistol and blasts a tune at Darkwing.

Combat: Sit-Com strikes Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> with his IIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S SHOWTIME! attack!

With Paint World coming down in a thunderous crash of dust and....paint(duh!), Jazz realizes something's definitely up now with the screams of humans filling the air. <<Check mic! One! Two! We've got trouble A-Team!>>

Then Banshee's 50kg bomb slams into Hot Spot, sending a heavy vibration across the landscape.

Yea, Jazz would say there's something /definitely/ up.

An invisible force slams the Porsche's gas and brake pedals, sending the car into a tight u-turn. Quickly picking up speed, it isn't long before the Intelligence Director is heading back towards the scene of recent destruction. <<Lock and load A-Team! Decepticons and LOTS of them too! Protect the humans and that paintin' robo...>>

Of course, that's exactly when the Bob Ross-Robot get blasted away by Darkwing. Feeling suddenly inspired by Hot Spot's moving words, the Porsche purrrr's with vigor as it speeds ahead right for....

THE GUMBIES!!

Popping his car doors open at the last instant, he tries to clip as many of them as he can with his version of the Drive-By(tm).

STUPID TERRAN ROOF!

Backfire slowly rouses to life, covered in paint supplies and whatever else could have been littering the shelves inside Paint World. "Oh wow, WING LEADER BACKFIRE.. covered in paint. Ugh." the Seeker grumbles, getting to his feet and stalking back towards the rear of the store.. his head popping through the now open roof. Kicking the back door, it manages to flatten a gumbie who was standing on the other side.. trying to pick the lock.

Backfire steps out, and onto the door that's knocked over.. the gumbie underneath gives out a little "HRMPH!" Glancing around nervously, the Seeker calls out "Duuuuuuuuuude, Refuse.. where are you??" Another muffled "HRMPH!" finally brings Backfire's attention downward. "Oh come on, laying down on the job already?? Jeez." he chastises the garbage-truck moded gumbie.. leading him into the store. "Transform, we need to grab this crap and go!!"

The gumbies in front of the store, well at least three of them, are trampled by Jazz's door trick. Buzzkill, the nominal leader of the pack, takes to the air at the last second and fires his blaster at Jazz. "Aim for his tires!" he calls out, as a chorus of gumbie laser-fire follows.

Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> actually cheers when he sees that inspid painter robot explode so beautiful and paints the landscape with unhappy bits of smoldering scrapmetal. For this Darkwing gets blasted by the Junkion, but doesn't seem to care. "Aw, did I blow up your little idol? Maybe next time you can worship something that can't be destoryed, like Entropy." He replies and fires on the Junkion with his favorite weapon.

Combat: Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> strikes Sit-Com with his Electro-Kinetic Blasters attack!

Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> pulls a teardrop look and then swings around to strafe over the Autobots as a group, now the crowds have thinned considerably. Her wing-mounted guns chatter loudly as she sweeps in low, stitching two rows of little puffs of dirt and mud. Jazz seems to be her primary target, but Hot Spot and Sit-Com are fairly easy to bring into the crosshairs too.

And as she blasts overhead, her engine roaring, opera can be heard broadcasting, at volume, from her speakers. The Stukacon herself is also singing along over a few radio channels - and, to be fair, she's pretty good... apart from the fact that she's changed all the lyrics to be about the Decepticons beating everything.

Combat: Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> misses Hot Spot with her Strafing Run (Full-Auto) Area attack!

Combat: Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> misses Sit-Com with her Strafing Run (Full-Auto) Area attack!

Combat: Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> misses White Porsche 935 <Jazz> with her Strafing Run (Full-Auto) Area attack!

NO MORE HAPPY LITTLE TREES! :(

The citizens get to safety, more or less, although the store owner sits across the street.. distressed and crying, his hands on his head and gripping his hair. Slowly tugging at what's left of his comb-over "Bob Ross-Bot, noooooooooooooo!" he weaps, tears flowing down his face.

The town drunkard, Scrappy, is passed out next to him.. likely wetting himself.

Sit-Com gets blasted by the Emo Jet, and himself turns emo. It's contagious! "Conformists," he mutters, "The world is all shades of grey and and sadness and pain!" He aims his blaster, thinking he's aiming at Darkwing. ...or is he?

Combat: Sit-Com's Laser attack on Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> goes wild!

Combat: Sit-Com misses himself with his Laser attack!

BLLOOMMMP! <<That's 1!>>

CLLUNNKK! <<That's 2!>>

BRRROOMP! <<That's 3! Three strikes you're out!>>

The Porsche slams it racing-striped doors shut as it finishes barreling through a trio of un-lucky Decepticon gumbies. At least one of them has sense though as the firing order is given, immediately dousing the number 4 car with gumbie laser fire from all sides. <<Yo!! Watch it! Ouucch! Aahhh!!>> emits the Porsche as it swerves back and forth, getting popped every other second by the low-powered blasts. Somewhere in there, Jazz manages to avoid Banshee's strafing run.

With another set of nimble turns, Jazz heads right back into the hornet's nest, probably still feeling the effect's of Hot Spot's pre-game speech. Noticing the pair of humans in front of the store, the Porsche comes to a halt and opens it doors in an instant. <<Yo!! Get in!! Let's boogey boys before those Decepti-jerks paint ya a new one, ya dig?!>> Usually, the Autobot would be completely opposed to having a guy with a yellow stain in his car, but he makes an exception this time.

Combat: White Porsche 935 <Jazz> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Hot Spot continues to stand tall, intent on giving those people all the cover they need to get away from the ruined shop and out of harms way. Bullets zing past his head and chew up the ground around his feet as Banshee makes another fly-by, but the machine guns by some stroke of luck fail to actually score a marking hit.

Turning at his stance to follow her passing, one hand-cannon appears in his grip as he raises his arm and takes aim at the Stuka. "You like explosions so much, have a taste of one of these!" He pulls the trigger, and with a brief retort the blaster hurtles a highly explosive fireball towards the plane, so hot it's flames are blue instead of red.

Combat: Hot Spot sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Hot Spot strikes Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> with his Fireball Cannon attack! [Pulled -1]

WORK WORK WORK!

Backfire searches quickly for the ROYAL PURPLE paint section and starts chucking the cannisters into the back of the garbage truck. "If you compact these cans, I will.. COMPACT YOUR FACE!" he cries out, obviously settling into his new position with ease. From the back entrance, a gumbie rushes in.. missing an arm and a tire streak over his chest. "Backfire, we are being routed by the Autobot Jazz!"

"Fools, can you do nothing yourselves??" Backfire rages, throwing a can of paint at the one-armed gumbie. "Load this up and get moving.." the Seeker smiles, a green foul charge growing in his palms. "I'LL DISPOSE OF THE NUISANCE!!" And like that, he takes off.. to hover over Paint World. "Jazz, you shall NOT ruin my plans -this- time!!" he calls out, firing off a couple shots from his arm-blasters.

Combat: Backfire misses White Porsche 935 <Jazz> with his Pot Shots!! (Disruptor) attack!

Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> takes the hit and waffles a little, circling around to focus her personal attention on the fireball cannon-weilding Autobot. She climbs to altitude agan and dives down once more, ninety degrees to the ground.

<<Arschloch!>> She barks, one of the fat 250kg bombs swinging down clear of her prop on its crutch before being released.

This bomb doesn't have the piercing whistle of the 50kg bomb. It's much longer, and instead makes the whistle of something one quarter of a ton in mass, moving very very fast. If this bomb hits, it's sure to hurt...

Combat: Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> strikes Hot Spot with her 250kg Penetrator Bombs attack!

Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> remains focused on the Junkion, though seeign jazz join the fray, he decides to open fire on the both of them. "You should both give up now, this day will not be salvaged. The futile efforts to speread happiness and cheer by this little festival has failed. If you leave now, then you will not have to suffer further failure."

Combat: Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> misses Sit-Com with his Full-Auto Area attack!

Combat: Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> strikes White Porsche 935 <Jazz> with his Full-Auto Area attack!

RIP BOB ROSS-BOT!

Mister Roberts snatches hold of Scrappy, the town drunkard who is still passed out, and leaps into the Porsche. "GET OUT OF HERE, THOSE DUDES ARE CRAZY!!" the owner of the Paint World store calls out, who's looking a bit crazy himself.. hair sticking up all sorts of sideways and tear streaks down his cheeks.

Scrappy grunts a bit, laying in the backseat he rolls over face down.. likely wetting himself. :(

Sit-Com dodges the other shots, including the one he'd inadvertently aimed at himself. He shakes his head. "Wait, no! I'm conformist, dammit!" He swings his ball and chain, swinging it at Darkwing. "Let me knock some sense and unicorns and puppies and rainbows into you."

Combat: Sit-Com strikes Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> with his Ye Olde Ball and Chain attack!

Hot Spot is quite grateful to Jazz helping get the last of the bystanders clear of the dangerous fight. And grateful that they got out of the way before Banshee starts unloading the big bombs. Like the one that just exploded at his feet, with enough force to knock even the big blocky Protectobot on his aft from the shockwave as it leaves a bit hole in the ground.

That's starting to get a little annoying.

"More bombs? A bit of a one trick pony, aren't you lady?" Leaning over a bit to brace himself getting up, he pauses as his hand bumps one of the poles that had been holding up tent awnings before the blasts had knocked them down, and then grins a bit. He grabs the pole on the way up, stepping a foot on the remaining tarp to pull it off.

Then rears the shaft up over his shoulder, and heaves it like a spear with all the strength he can muster. Which is quite a bit of strength, rest assured.

Throwing things at a plane is kind of crazy, but maybe he'll get lucky puncturing a wing or an engine or something.

Combat: Hot Spot misses Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> with his Improvised Projectile Throwing attack!

There's pretty much two reasons to hit the gas although one is more important the other.

Exhibit A) Backfire, Darkwing, and his gumby bunch pouring on the firepower. And then, the more important thing.

Exhibit B) The drunken man strewn across his backseat, urinating himself, and facing DOWN!!

<<Dude!! Could you put a plug on your spout?! You're totally getting the cleanin' bill for this! Gross!!>> At least Mister Roberts was keeping his bowels in check, albeit looking like Nick Nolte in his famous mugshot.

Driving away from the Decepticons, Jazz does get pegged by Darkwing, but he still manages to get away still in one piece and on to safety ahead. <<Time to HOOK it up!>> Just then, the Porsche's small trunk pops open and the tip of a glistening spear appears! (that's where he keeps it)

KAA-FWWWWOOOSHHH!!

The harpoon blasts out and into the air, slicing through the air and on a direct course with the Decepticons' ring leader. <<Time to walk the Decepti-dog!!>>

Combat: White Porsche 935 <Jazz> strikes Backfire with his Let me HOOK you up (Punch) attack!

HOOK, LINE, & SEEKER!

Backfire is surprised. First by Jazz's dastardly manuever, to load up the human hostages AND avoid his laser blasts. Secondly, by the HUGE harpoon that has happened to skewer him through the middle! "AGAH, I'M HOOKED!" he cries out, being dragged along against his will. Struggling against the restraint, Backfire isn't overly strong.. even by Seeker standards, the idiot lashes out against the line.. trying to peel it apart with his fingers.

Growing frustrated, Backfire aims his Hypno-Ray down at Jazz's rear-end. If anything, it will allow him time to unravel this mess.. or confuse him even more!

As if such a thing were possible! :)

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Backfire misses White Porsche 935 <Jazz> with his Confusing by the Confused attack!

Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> jinks to one side an laughs as the uprooted pole sails past her, laughing and pulling a loop to taunt the big Autobot, before hearing Backfire's cry. She turns back on herself and comes down on Jazz, attempting to assist the leader of this mission by harming her assailant - and at the same time, leaving Hot Spot a perfect shot at her underbelly!

The first thing Jazz would know, in theory at least, is when the 50kg bomb goes off ontop of him!

Combat: Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> misses White Porsche 935 <Jazz> with her 50kg GP Bombs attack!

Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> grumbles as being hit by the Junkion's mace. The gloomjet transforms into his robot mode and lands. "Fine, you want to get up close and personal you walking scrap heap. I can do that." He says and stalks over to the junkion, and attemtps to kock some real sense into the Junkion.

With the sound ot turnign gears ans shifting metal, Darkwing changes into his ever blue robot mode.

Combat: Darkwing strikes Sit-Com with his Silent Killer attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Sit-Com's Agility. (Crippled)

WELL.. THERE GOES THE COMFY INTERIOR!

Mister Roberts looks in the rear-view mirror, and suddenly surprised when they have a THIRD passenger.. towed along in the back. "ROBOT DUDE, ARE YOU CRAZY??" he tugs at his thinning hair again, going from Nick Nolte to Mel Gibson in 2.2 seconds. Scrappy rouses from the back, slightly intoxicated still.. but with an empty bladder. "Ah dude, my pants!"

Hot Spot frowns as Banshee veers away from his makeshift throw, though he's frowning more as she goes after Jazz instead. Then it's covered up as his protective mask slides up into place. Scrap just got serious, yo.

He sprints a few strides after them, pulling the second matching weapon out of subspace with his other hand, waiting until he's got a clear shot at the Stuka as she swoops towards her new prey with some more urban renewal the Decepticon way.

"Gotta make this one count." He stops and drops to one knee to brace himself as he raises both hand-cannons. He's got a clear shot at her fuselage, potential to hit either her bomb bay or her fuel tanks. A final adjustment to lead a bit, and opens fire with both weapons at once.

Combat: Hot Spot sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Hot Spot's Fireball Cannons Akimbo attack aimed for Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> backfires!

Combat: Hot Spot strikes himself with his Fireball Cannons Akimbo attack!

Sit-Com gets some sense knocked into him! Or is that out of him? He staggers around momentarily, then ducks behind a tree. "Mayday! Mayday! Danger Will Robinson!" He starts patching up his injuries. "After these messages, we'll be right back!"

Combat: Sit-Com quickly patches up some of his minor injuries.

... Looks like while HE didn't get shot in the fire fight, one of the rifles did, and promptly does a backdraft impression right in his face! Good thing Hot Spot is flame resistant. He's still left scorched and burning a bit though, thanks to the sprayed fuel though.

"*cough* Well that didn't go as planned...."

<Decepticon> Das Stukacon Banshee says, "Sheiss, I can stay no more. I'm having control system difficulties and I'll be more of a hazard to you than I vill the enemy. Bad flutter in the aelerons and vertical tail."

If Mister Roberts were to check the manual in Jazz's glove box, he probably wouldn't find a section for 'How to Properly Tow an Overgrown Killing Machine'. The heavy-duty stuff was probably more Hot Spot's department.

Struggling to maneuver his way down the empty street, Jazz slows down and figures he should probably get rid of his prized cargo right about now. <<Uh fellas! I think those bushes got your names all over them!! Hold on tight cause you're goin' for a ride!!>>

POP! POP!

In a move that defies any logic (like there was any to begin with anyway), the Porsche opens it doors and ejects the humans into a thick group of bushes. It wasn't exactly a soft bed, but hopefully it would be enough to keep them safe and out of sight. <<Clean up your act next time dude and find a plumber for those leakin' pipes!>>

Up next on the agenda for Jazz is the huge robot he's got in tow. Revving his powerful Porsche engine, the Autobot manages to lurch forward with impressive speed down the still-empty road. <<If I can just hit 88 miles per hour....maybe it'll do the trick?!>>

Spotting Banshee's frame up ahead, the Intelligence Director schemes up another brilliant idea as he continues to gain speed.

50 mph

65 mph

72 mph

88 mph

Jazz let's his harpoon line loose with a little more slack and it's not long before he's flying one moving target into another! <<Where you're going, you don't NEED ROAAADDS!!>>

Combat: White Porsche 935 <Jazz> strikes Backfire with his BACKfire to the Future Area attack!

Combat: Backfire can't seem to think straight...

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Backfire's Agility. (Crippled)

Combat: White Porsche 935 <Jazz> strikes Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> with his BACKfire to the Future Area attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee>'s Agility. (Crippled)

BOWLING FOR GUMBIES!

Once again, Backfire is jerked along against his will.. the tow cable tensing to it's maximum length, appearing one moment to -almost- snap.. but life is much more cruel than that.

And so, the Seeker simpleton is forcibly knocked into the side of a wall.. then takes out a gumbie at the mid-section.. then another building, this one collapsing on his head "OUCH!!".. two gumbies lined up, they're knocked silly.. and finally, towards Banshee!

"GAH, WATCH OUT YOU CURR.. HE'S GOING TO USE ME TO.." Backfire cries out effortlessly, fighting against the harpoon that's imbedded in his waist. "OH FER THE LOVE OF PRIMUS, JUST MOV..OOOOOFFDHA!" Backfire oomphs, knocking into Banshee.

MEANWHILES..

Refuse and the one-armed gumbie get all the supplies loaded up, and they take off.. in the opposite direction.

Back to his senses, well.. what little he -does- have left, Backfire floats effortlessly in the air. Staring down at Jazz, the green glow of toxic energon pipes up occasionally.. giving the Seeker an honestly frightening image. But then, he opens his mouth and ends the fasade. "Oh, you will pay for that.. Jazz!" he wrenches a hand around the tow cable, the other glowing luminescient.

"You'll ALL PAY, so says I.. BACKFIRE, NEWLY APPOINTED GLORIOUS XO OF AEROSPACE!!" he rages, letting loose a powerful blast that arcs all dangerously.

Combat: Backfire sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Backfire's Green with Envy! attack on White Porsche 935 <Jazz> goes wild!

Combat: Backfire misses himself with his Green with Envy! Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Backfire's Green with Envy! attack on Hot Spot goes wild!

Combat: Backfire strikes Darkwing with his Green with Envy! Area attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Darkwing has been temporarily incapacitated.

Combat: Backfire's Green with Envy! attack on Sit-Com goes wild!

Combat: Backfire misses Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> with his Green with Envy! Area attack! [Pulled -2]

<Decepticon> Impudent Fool Backfire says, "DECEPTICONS, MOVE IN FOR THE KILL!"

Darkwing hmphs watching the Junkion stagger off to hide and lick his wounds. "Pathtic pile of junk." Though he seems willing to let the Junkion have a sporting chance. Its almost lucky that he gets struck by the attack that temporarily incapacitates him, as he was planing on sitting this round out anyway...

Ju-87 Stuka <Banshee> blinks quietly and can't really react to the sight of Backfire being towed into her. She knows, the moment she sees him, that the impact is going to happen.

So she opens the throttle. So it'll hurt her more than it hurts him, that's not the point. Any opportunity to cause pain to Backfire has to be taken - and so it is that she slams into him and then spirals out of control, slamming down into a building; she'd been feeling a flutter in her tailplane and... well, the impact with Backfire's just knocked something pretty major loose. A kid'll probably find it later; her entire portside tail elevator.

Banshee's wedged in a building and kind of incapacitated by the feedback from the injury herself. She just remains in her crater, attempting to transform but, without that piece of her tail, she appears to be struggling.

<<Sheiss... I'm out of ze fight unt vill need assistance. Controls are gone, transformation jammed!>>

<Decepticon> Das Stukacon Banshee says, "Sheiss... I'm out of ze fight unt vill need assistance. Controls are gone, transformation jammed!"

JAZZ.. HEROIC TAXI CAB!

Deposited safely away from the ensuing battle, Mister Roberts and Scrappy limp towards the make-shift shelter that's been constructed. There, the other Protectobots are administering first aid (haha) to the wounded and reuniting families.

Out of town, the two gumbies operating 'Swindle's Fog-o-Matic' machine have fallen into a rest cycle, allowing the device to run dry.. the artificial cotton candy fog dissipating in town.

Sit-Com still needs repairs! "Oy, Lucy, Lucy, what have you done," he moans, as he continues to patch himself up. "Poor Bob Ross lies a mouldering in the grave."

Combat: Sit-Com quickly patches up some of his minor injuries.

Hot Spot was going to get up, but ends up ducking again when a glob of that hideous green corrupted energon hurtles past him, making it all the more ironic that it actually hit the Decepticon still fighting with Sit-Com farther across the park. "That's one way to rock two Cons with one ride, Jazz!", he cheers after the super-spy. Standing up and patting out a few lingering flames, he pauses a moment to take stock of the situation now that it looks like the bomber is finally out of the fight.

And glances over his shoulder to see the results of the stray fire having hit the Powermaster, and Sit-Com trying to fix himself up while he's got the chance. Deciding the Junkion probably needs the help more, he trudges over to Darkwing, and taps him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, mind if I cut in?"

Followed by his other arm being reared back, hand clenched, and swinging a fast roundhouse at his head.

Combat: Hot Spot strikes Darkwing with his Couldn't resist a classic setup (Punch) attack!

<<Haha! Think you Decepti-cant's need a flight control tower. One with some dudes that aren't asleep!>>

Still pulling Backfire along through the air, Jazz transforms from Porsche into robot, but he still manages to keep his harpoon line hooked up (again defying logic). Pressing a button on his forearm, the line starts reeling back in towards Jazz and just as Backfire's battered frame arrives, the Autobot leans out and pats the mech on the shoulder. "Thanks for droppin' in dude! You're pretty good in the air, but just don't let it get to your HEAD!"

Clinching the line tight around the seeker's neck, Jazz draws back his blue hand and hammers it down with precision.

Get on up! The Porsche 935 Turbo explodes upward into Jazz, Autobot Rock Star!

Combat: Jazz strikes Backfire with his You've been CHOPPED attack!

FRIENDLY FIRE.. ARE YOU SURPRISED??

Backfire rages again, when his shots go awry.. one even arching back to splatter over his face. Bobbing his head to the side, the idiot manages to avoid the nasty energon powered shot.. though truth be told, Jazz's driving/tugging is really what saved his aft!

Forcibly dragged down to the Intel Director's level, the Seeker fights against the harpoon all the while. "Guh, what a cheap cheap cheap trick! I knew you couldn't fight fair, OBVIOUSLY afraid of my superiority!!" he laughs, even though something wicked this way comes.

In the form of a mighty karate knife-hand.. Backfire's head is dislodged! It sails through the air, twirling all the while and screaming "AHHHHHHHHHHHH, hey I can see my house from here! AHHHHHHHH!" And so it lands in a pile, of robot parts.. Bob Ross-Bot parts to be precise.

Headless, Backfire's body clunks around without much coordination.. jetting back towards his head. Snatching the head and parts, the body shoves them into the chest compartment cock-pit and transforms. <<DESHEPTISHONS, SHRESHREAT!!>> his head calls out from inside the glass area, pushed up against the confines of the compartment.

A shake, shudder, and shiver; and before your eyes BACKFIRE transforms into a F-16 Falcon!

Combat: F-16 Falcon <Backfire> sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: F-16 Falcon <Backfire> begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

Darkwing staggers and actually seems to mutter a bit of thanks, and takes off into the air. He's decided to change targets, but first realizes he needs to recharge. But then his target has decided to take the coward's way out. The powermaster's purple visor glows brightly as he glares daggers at BAckfire.

He'll just pumble Backfire into scrap back at base. He transforms and follows... well more of stalks, if a jet can stalk another Jet...

Leaping into the air, Darkwing transforms into a Panavia Tornado GR1 fighter jet

Combat: Panavia Tornado GR1 Fighter Jet <Darkwing> begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from F-16 Falcon <Backfire>

Hot Spot watchs both remaining Decepticons take off to the skies, and relaxes a bit. ".. Still can't believe they're petty enough to go after a painting robot's convention."

Sit-Com fistshakes at the retreating Decepticons. "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!"

And so, Portland Oregon gets back to normal as best as it can.. with the wanton destruction of their lively downtown area.. and decimated Paint World.

Mister Roberts, in particular, is sobbing in front of his store. Not by the structural damage inflicted, but because his Bob Ross-Bot was first destroyed.. then stolen! "Nooooooooooo, Bob Ross-Bot.." he whimpers, "You were my only friend!"

Jazz walks up to Hot Spot and Sit-Com offering a silvery grin, "That's the first time that dude's flown in a straight line today!" Looking around at the rubble and paint everywhere, the Autobot blinks his blue visor in thought, "You know it's times like this I had one of those EASY buttons I've seen on TV! Looks like we got some work to do!" With that, Jazz starts the process of cleaning up, but then he spots a depressed Mister Roberts sobbing. Always looking to comfort those in need, the Autobot offers, "Could be worse dude! You could be THAT guy!" he motions to Scrappy and his infamous yellow stain.

Of course, the building damage is covered by his ROBOT INSURANCE. It's like, standard nowadays.

"No easy button, Jazz, but nothing a little hard work won't clean up," Hot Spot replies, before going about helping with said cleaning up.

Scrappy has since passed out again, probably wetting himself. :(

Sit-Com realizes that Bob Rossbot is gone! Those stinking Decepticons took him? "No! No! We will make a new one! Bigger and stronger and faster! He will paint a thousand times better than the original! And I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"