In Love With A Transforming War Robot

Synopsis: Can Powerglide save his one true love from the evil Decepticons? More to the point, can he save himself from his one true love?

London

The skyline of the capital of Britain is dominated by various famous landmarks such as Big Ben, St. Peter's Cathedral, and London Bridge. Crowded narrow streets make it very hard for giant robots to walk around in, but smaller robots and humans can move around with ease.

Standing on the edge of London Bridge is a young, beautiful, red-headed woman in a yellow sundress. Her arms are spread wide as she looks out across the River Thames, a smile on her face. Dear God, is she going to jump!? Well, maybe she just likes the view. Who knows.

Candy Apple and Cream white Phantom Jet zips through the air. He has no white on him, but instead a kind of black coloration where he was once white as he glides through the air, dipping low over the mighty Thames.

Rumble drives through London in a Mini Cooper on the wrong side of the street, swerving around all of the other traffic that doesn't swerve around him first. He is wearing a yellow mackintosh and a hat as a sort of flimsy disguise and seems to be looking for something or someone.

Oh hey, what's that up there? OH, YOU KNOOOWW...It's that cool dude, Powerglide! God, he's so cool. So, there he is, cool-ass Powerglide; flying through the air above London like the totally chill and laidback guy he is.

Oh ho ho, yeah right.

"OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD! I THINK I SEE HER!" The Warthog excitedly rocks back and forth. "OKAY, UHM....OKAY...Just...like....PHEW, OKAY...Just stay cool, PG...Stay cool.." Powerglide begins to drop altitude.

The woman looks up, frowning. A red jet? Is that him? The one she is looking for? Hard to tell in the fog. Ah well. Even if it's not him, she should get in touch with him soon, once she... JUMPS! Yes, she jumps over the edge, straight out into the water. Now, of course, surely the Autobots' fliers are skilled enough to save her from smacking into the cold water?

As she falls, she glances up again. Oh, dammit, there he is. She mentally berates herself for not being able to tell a Warthog apart from other jets.

Foxfire is following after Fireflight and Powerglide. He needs more chances to spread his wings. < < Easy, lads! > > he radios the other Autobots. < < Powerglide, stay on your guard. You don't know what might happen. > > As the woman falls, his optics widen. "Oh, SLAG!" He dives.

Candy Apple and Cream white Phantom Jet darts forwards, but then pulls up... too close to the bridge for his bulky form as he watches Foxfire dive towards the woman.

"Stay cool, dude. It'll be cool. I'll go up to her and say 'hey, I'm hot, you're hot, we should date'. Yeah, maybe she's into robot-human relationships. Maybe.." Powerglide turns his attention from this super important thought process to that oh so important woman. Er, that oh so important /falling/ woman. "NO! SEXY LADY! I CAN'T LET YOU DIE! Think of what all the other guys would say..."

And so the HEROIC Powerglide dives down, down, down towards the bridge: transforming mid-air and joining the woman in freefall. That is, untill he HEROICALLY grabs her and tucks her to his chest. Oh yeah, then he falls into the water. HEROICALLY!

Powerglide turns into an AWESOME robot.

Foxfire would facepaw if he was able to at the moment. As Powerglide grabs the woman, he slows his descent and circles above the water, trying not to get splashed.

Candy Apple and Cream white Phantom Jet circles further overhead.

The woman feels uncertain for a moment. Is he... is he coming to save her?! Hurry up already, she can't fall forever! Wait, wait... here he comes! Yes! Soon he will open his cockpit, and then she will safely land in the pilot's seat, settling down on that comfortable, cushioned, seat, and relish the feel of his joyst--

Wait, he's transforming. And catching her. Oof. And sticking her into his chest!? Gah, there's no room in here! And...

"It's dark in here! Eeee!" cries the woman as she thrashes around. "Ow!" she yelps as Powerglide hits the water.

Rumble parks on the sidewalk by the expedient means of crashing into a chip shop, and looks out his window at the jets swirling around the river, holding up a photograph of Astoria Carlton-Ritz which Soundwave thoughtfully de-aged for him digitally. Rumble ignores the polite outrage of the chip shop employees as he rummages around in the car and finds a dossier that had fallen onto the floor, describing Carlton-Ritz's habits, behaviors, weaknesses, associates and most importantly, immense fortune. Rumble kicks the bent door of the Mini off its hinges and climbs out, shoving aside a woman wearing a floral print dress and walking her bulldog, and making for the river.

Powerglide is all about treating women right. Sometimes. Look, whatever, he saved her and he's totally a hero now. Women love heroes. They also love being alive and in one piece, so hopefully that's the case. Powerglide pops his head out of the water and takes a second to reflect on his acheivements. Uh, oh right. Sexy lady.

Powerglide opens up his chest and pulls the shaken woman up and out of the water. ".......Uhm...Uhhh....Eeehhh....UUHHH....YOU'RE HOT."

Fireflight moves to the United Kingdom.

Fireflight has left.

The woman blushes in Powerglide's hands, looking as vulnerable as she can. "Oh, why, thank you. You're rather handsome, yourself, tiger. Teeheehee," she titters. "Sorry about that fall--I must have slipped or something. But it's a good thing a biiig strong jet like you were here to save me."

The water makes the dress stick to her skin, and also makes it a bit translucent.

"Oh, right, uh, yeah. It's cool. I mean, uh, I, er...uh...fall off stuff..all the...all the time.." Powerglide manages to choke out after some struggle. He just stays there in the water, holding the woman and saying nothing like a big, nerdy loser for the longest time before blurting out another nugget of wisdom. "....LET'S HOOK UP."

Powerglide: Master of the ladiez.

And yes, the woman is, aside from a few minor inaccuracies, a dead ringer for Soundwave's picture. Could it be!?

The woman smiles, and stands up in Powerglide's hands. "Sure, why not?" Wow, who knew women were so easy? "By the way, my name is Jane Gleide. What's yours?" She glances back up at the bridge, to see if there's any cops there, or anyone else she should be worried about. Hm, not just yet. Back to smiling at Big Red! "Teeheehee." She titters at her private nickname for Powerglide.

Rumble grabs the wheel of a velocipede as a man with a handlebar mustache cycles past and flips it over his shoulder rather than walk around it. Rumble has a knack for going through scenery rather than among it, especially when he's on a mission as he is now. He jumps onto the back of a passing red double decker bus, tossing a mohawked punk off into the street as he does so for no good reason, and rides the bus out over the bridge towards Powerglide and the woman he's holding.

Sirens are gradually starting to catch up to the weaving trail of largely meaningless petty destruction that works its way through the city, meandering uncertainly until it bends and makes a beeline for Tower Bridge but this doesn't concern the Blue Meanie. He's almost at the objective and he's ready to roll.

Oh, wow. That /was/ easy. Wait, no, it wasn't really, it was only because Powerglide is so immensely skilled in the art of courting. That's it. "OH MY GOSH, I KNOW! I TOTALLY SAW YOU ON THE NEWS!" Powerglide blurts out. "Uh, I mean. Oh, really? I'm, duhh...Oh! I'm Powerglide! But, ah, you probably know that already, what with me being the most popular and most handsome of ALL the Autobots!" He lifts his other arms and flexes it. Nothing happens.

Nevertheless, "Jane" gasps in astonishment as Powerglide shows off his nonexistant biceps. "Oh, WOW! That's so amazing! You must be the STRONGEST of all Autobots, too! Can I... can I feel your arm?" she coos, pouting. Oh, to touch that cold, unfeeling steel again.

For a moment, her brow crinkles. Sirens? Are the idiot law enforcement agencies of the world finally on to her little ruse?

If only all women were so easilly impressed. "Uh, sure. Why the hell not? Just, you know, try not to faint at how manly and muscular it is," the minibot says with such a smug tone that it just begs for a matching smirk. "You know, it's kinda weird. I mean, you /look/ really familar but I just can't..quite...remember.."

Powerglide silently wonders if past sedative use has anything to do with his convienient memory problems.

The answer to that question is yes, very much so, which is why they had to discontinue that particular brand of sedative.

"Oh, silly," Jane laughs. "You just said you saw me in the news, right? That's where you've seen me before. Gosh, I feel like you know EVERYTHING about me, but... I know nothing about you! It's not really fair..." She sighs. "Hey, I know! You could let me go on a tour with you through Metroplex! Then we could learn so much about each other!" As she goes on, she grabs at Powerglide's arm, shuddering, though mostly that's because she's really, really cold, and groping a cold robot's arm doesn't generally help rectify that sort of situation. "And uh, figureouthowtodestroytheotherAutobots," she quietly mutters.

Rumble leans out from the side of the bus as it reaches the part of the span that Powerglide is beneath, swinging away from the fulcrum of his elbow hooked around the bus pillar. With his free hand he grabs one of the bridge cables and holds on, hard. A medly of (very polite and understated) screams of alarm can be heard along with the screeching and grinding sound of tires and metal. The bus flips up on its end and slowly flops over onto its side with a crash as Rumble stops in its tracks by hooking it suddenly to the bridge cable, which twangs like a giant ill-tuned bass guitar, then drags Rumble and the bus back the other way until the bus slides over the edge of the bridge, dangling uncertainly over the water! Rumble's crooked elbow is the only thing holding it back from falling in, a realization that comes audibly to at least one of the passengers by the sound of someone exclaiming "great scott!"

"Hey! Red and stupid! Up here! I's offerin' youse a trade! That chick for alla these! You gots five seconds to make up yer mind, and you better choose wisely cuz I'm recordin' this fer posterity," sneers Rumble, his tape reels slowly revolving.

Police lights flash into view at the end of the bridge, the whocka-whocka-whocka of a helicopter approaching from further inside the city.

"Hey, sounds like a cool idea to me," Powerglide says with a shrug. "Wait, what was that last part?"

And then Rumble goes from unruly punk to terrorist in what is quite frankly an amazing show. If Powerglide wasn't, you know, involved, he would applaud. ".....Can you make it five minutes? This is kind of a hard decision. Uh, I mean, EVIL DECEPTICON! HOW DARE YOU?" He looks to 'Jane', "That's what we're supposed to say, right?"

"I dare pretty easy if you gotsta ask!" replies Rumble as searchlights from the helicopter and the police cars arriving at the ends of Tower Bridge swoop over Powerglide, Astoria, the dangling Rumble and the bus dangling from him in turn. "Two seconds! Don't waste my time, this place ain't no New Yawk an' I ain't feelin' sympathetic!"

Jane looks up as Rumble dangles a bus over the bridge. Decepticons! How DARE they interfere with her reunion, the moment she's been waiting so long for! She bares her teeth and hisses ferally up at the tape. Then, perhaps remembering she's supposed to act "normal," she says to Powerglide, "Uh, yes, that's very good, lover-bot! But..." She looks left, then, right, then flings herself at Powerglide's chest, wrapping her arms around his neck as much as she can. "Don't let that bad robot get me! You have no idea what they'll do to me... probably! Kill the Decepticon for me, Powerglide!" Her tone turns scary, demanding. "DO IT!"

James Bailey has left.

Rumble is emitting that soft watery hiss like a tape recorder playing back a blank tape as he reveals himself and delivers his ultimatum; this is the sound he makes when he's recording.

Not that anyone has heard that sound in living memory in this setting but you know what it means.

After asking his trusted comrades for help with this horrible situation, Powerglide takes the only advice given to him. "SCREW YOU!" Powerglide hollers. Thanks, Kup! Normally that would be enough, but Asto-JANE begins to yell at him and, let's face it, you can't disobey a hot yelling chick. So Powerglide does what any other Autobot would do.

He pulls out his pistol and starts shooting at Rumble. Kapew!

Rumble is tough but small, and the recoil affects him strongly. He lets go of the bus, for one thing, which splashes into the river and immediately begins to sink, passengers swimming away from it as others beat on the windows frantically for help. The other thing that happens is that without the weight of the bus on the other end of Rumble's armspan, the bridge cable snaps back like an immense bowstring, flinging Rumble out over the city and out of sight like a bullet from a gun.

"Save us!" "Oh, this is a spot of bother!" "I believe I've soilt my knickers!" say the passengers unlucky enough to be trapped on the sinking bus.

Jane smiles evilly as she watches the innocent people dropped into the cold, cold river, even snickering a little bit. "Yessss, oh, all those silly people, they mean nothing to *us,* Powerglide, and what *we* have. Let's go, and leave those *worms* to drown, as worms should."

It's at this exact moment that Powerglide reaches a crossroads in his life. He could save those people and probably redeem himself as an actual Autobot or he could just leave and hang out with a totally hot (crazy) woman. This decision is probably the hardest one he's ever had to make. Of course, it could've been avoided had he made the proper choice two minutes ago.

"Sorry, lady, but I've got a bus full of people to save. Nothin' personal. It's an Autobot thing, you know? Just, uh..hang on or somethin'."

And so Powerglide awkwardly swims over to the bus and tries to lift it over his head. Except, you know, there's that whole in water thing. "OH GOD, I AM SO BAD AT THESE HEROIC THINGS! Where's Seaspray when it's the ONLY time you need him!?"

Jane clambers around Powerglide's neck, hissing out commands like the imaginary imp that lives on everyone's shoulder. "Why do these insignificant people mean so much to you, Powerglide!?" she demands. "I thought *I* meant something to you! I mean, just look at them, they're just so..." She cringes as she looks over the innocents, particularly one wearing a monocle and a bowler hat. "...BRITISH."

Powerglide continues to struggle with the bus, kind of dragging it through the water as he tries to get to the shore as quick as possible. Curse not having flight in both modes. "I know, I know! They're pretty horrible human beings and they really don't mean a whole lot to me but, well...I mean...they're people and I'm supposed to help them, you know? It's what keeps me from wearing a purple badge and it's kind of a big deal. You understand, right?"

Jane scowls. "No, I don't understand, Powerglide. I thought it was love at first sight with you, but no, you would put your "duty" and "responsibility" above me. ME. If you can't love me above everything and everyone else, well..." As Powerglide reaches the shore, she hops off, and looks back for but a moment. "...maybe you don't deserve me." Then, she lifts her dress up a bit and scurries off, eventually vanishing into the fog.

Powerglide finally manages to beach the bus. Such heroics! Now it's time for his hero kiss, right? He turns only to see Jane departing in the most mysterious of ways. "Aw, c'mon! It's not you, baby, it's me! Wait, no, it ain't me, it's...it's the Autobots! They have this weird sense of honor and loyalty and AW COME ON! YOU'RE THE SEXIEST GIRL! COME BACK!" But it doesn't matter.

Powerglide suddenly remembers why he feels the need to hit women all the time.