2031 Olympics - Full-Combat - Carjack versus Apocryphacius

Coruscate Canyon

One of the more remote locations on Pony World, Coruscate Canyon can only be reached through a narrow, rocky valley. The canyon walls rise high, and the canyon widens out on the inside. However, the top of the canyon stays narrowing, vexing large aircraft and flying creatures and providing natural protection for the inhabitants of this idyllic canyon. The vegetation is lush and vibrant, laden with exotic and delicately-scented flowers. The pony aliens here are smaller than elsewhere on the planet, even full-grown, possess a more gracile build, and seem to have some insectoid heritage in their translucent wings and antennae. These pony aliens are monarchial, answering to a Queen, and have a history of appeasement with other regions. They have rough dwellings of wood and stone, and at the centre of the valley, there is a stone circle resembling a henge, carved with strange glyphs. In the middle of the circle is an inclined stone pillar, and resting atop the pillar is an amber-coloured gem of great size, which is guarded by the fiercest of these insect-ponies. This mighty power gem provides the valley with unnatural, uncanny light, sustaining the overly verdant foliage, and gives the canyon its name.

Obvious exits:

&lt;A&gt; Apoidea &lt;U&gt; Utopia Manor  &lt;V&gt; Volcano of Sorrow

Carjack has arrived.

Carjack strides in looking for someone to fix. Or break.

Sit-Com has arrived.

GAME: Sit-Com rolls a (100)-sided die:

ROLL: Carjack rolled a 68

ROLL: Apocryphacius rolled a 24

... "Someone is trying to torture me, I just know it," Carjack hisses as he tromps into the valley, stomping a few of those oh so precious pastel flowers in the process. Good thing he's not as big as some Decepticons.. though his oddly shaped shoulders do scrape at the rocks if he gets too close to the side. He almost gets stuck at one point but manages to pry himself through. "Where's my opponent? I'll redecorate this horrible child's playland in his blood! .. Or whatever passes for it!"

Apocryphacius calls out softly, "Ichor. I have ichor, as well as hydraulic fluid, assorted lubricants, and perfectly normal energon. You are the Decepticon codenamed 'Carjack', I take it?" He swivels his Light face to visually examine Carjack, pausing in gathering specimens of the local flowers for study in neat little specimen vials.

An aged man squeezes through a crack in the canyon, mops his brow, and sighs. "Tight squeeze," he murmurs, in English but with a hint of a Mandarin chinese accent. He's dressed in a sharp red ghi, and looks rather scholarly. "OK! I am here to judge. I am Master Showron. All weapons allowed. Above all, I want to see a clean and honorable match. Shake. Bow. Round one, Fight!" As the participants begin, he sits down crosslegged, then draws a small cup of tea from somewhere in his robe and sips at it.

Honorable? Possibly. Clean?... the old man has no idea who he's talking to. Mewhehehe. "It's all the same!" he retorts to his opponent. And trying not to think about the scenery too much. "Yes, Carjack. And as fun as it was watching the giant lady smack you around," he pauses to grin, showing that he's got some rather sharp looking metal teeth, "Doing it myself will be more fun.. Oh! Before I forget." He opens his chest compartment, pulls out what vagely looks like a biomechanical organ. The same one he picked up off the arena when he 'cleaned up' after the afformentioned fight. "You dropped this last time!" Flings it at the Quintesson's face.

Combat: Carjack strikes Apocryphacius with his Returning your spleen! (Punch) attack!

Combat: You took 8 damage.

Apocryphacius dubiously offers Carjack a tentacle to shake. Carjack seems to be not intention of shaking, just shaking Apocryphacius up. The decayed organ drips down his face, and his face whirl, and the Quintesson ducks behind the stone ruins, shouting, waving his tentacles angrily, "Were you raised in a domicile suitable for the maintenance of livestock? Do you have no idea about the importance of refrigeration to prevent the decay of biological tissues?" He draws his EDC-issue generic weapon and takes a shot at the Decepticon from behind concealment.

Apocryphacius transforms into his Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; mode.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; strikes Carjack with his Disruptor attack!

Master Showron nods. For some reason he's bald except for a long thing ponytail reaching halfway down his back. His mustache and beard are long and thin, reaching down to his waist. He practically squints at the participants. "Excellent, excellent," he murmurs, sipping his tea. Pretty words aside, the Master does love a good messy brawl.

Carjack gets shot back, the blast singing his chest a bit. And doing little to deter him from stomping towards the wall the Quintesson has taken shelter behind. "Well duh! But preserved organs aren't nearly as moraly disturbing as molding ones." Huh. A wall. Obstacles. Minor annoyance. He activates his hydrolic weapon, sets it to piledriver mode as it reconfigures out of his right arm, and slams it into the base of the wall to knock it over. Preferrable on top of his foe.

Combat: Carjack sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Carjack strikes Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; with his And the walls come crumbling down attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: You took 11 damage.

Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; screams like a little girl when Carjack buries him under a wall. However, his scream is more than just a little girl scream - it is full of destuctive and disruptive harmonics that can temporarily disorient an opponent. He then continues to seethe, "You are a disgrace! A mockery! You are not even fit to be fed to a car crusher - it would choke on your depravity!"

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; strikes Carjack with his Sonic Screech attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Carjack's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Carjack's Agility. (Crippled)

Master Showron rubs his temples slowly after hearing the Quintesson's shriek-attack. He pours himself another cup of tea, from a small teapot that seems to have been hidden in his robe, as well. "Did I not see this in a Japanese Manga once?" he murmurs to himself.

Carjack puts on foot on the rubble and his weapon fully ready to slam it into the debris farther... but ends up stumbling backwards with a mechanical screech as the sonic blast makes his audials ring bad enough to actually clutch the sides of his head for a moment. "Gah! And people complain about my sirens!" He shakes his head trying to clear it, then pulls out his gun and starts firing randomly in the direction of the Quintesson. Notably not shooting lasers or even bullets, but needles filled of who knows what vile chemicals fly through the air instead.

Combat: Carjack strikes Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; with his Syringe Gun attack!

Combat: You took 7 damage.

Combat: Carjack's attack has damaged your Accuracy!

Combat: Carjack's attack has strange and mysterious effects on Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt;.

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt;'s Agility. (Crippled)

Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; stares down dumbly at the syringes that are embedded into his bulbous body. One even buries itself into his optic, so he switches faces again, squinting at Carjack. Funny, Justice /isn't/ blind. He pulls out a little something that he's been working on, when he wasn't picking flowers. Feeling a bit sluggish - "Sedatives, Decepticon?" - he arms his hand-crafted explosive and throws it at Carjack.

Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; transforms into his Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; mode.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; strikes Carjack with It's a bomb aaaar.'s Huge Explosion #9413 attack!

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt;'s It's a bomb aaaar. is destroyed!

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Carjack's Agility. (Crippled)

Combat: Used up 1 Bombs. 0 remain.

A tiny marmoset climbs down from the canyon wall and settles on the Master's shoulder. It chitters at the old man briefly and he nods. "Very good, N'gilum," Master Showron says, "You may sit here and watch with me, if you like." He notices the Decepticon is slowing down.

Carjack blinks a couple of times as his optical systems start to clear, and cackles at the sight of the Quintesson riddled with several of his projectiles. With a gleeful sneer he arms his hydrolic-cutter again and clicks it a few times. "You're fortunately. I normally don't ansethesize patients before operating.. eh?" He looks down for a moment as the bomb is tossed at his feet... Just before blowing up. And Carjack slams into the ground several meters away after that, smoking badly. And random chunks of armor hitting the ground even farther than that. He snarls, clambering to his feet, and storms back towards Apoc. "I'm gonna see what makes you tick. Literally!" Thrusts the 'Jaws of Death' at the Quint to try and tear into his egg-shaped exterior!

Combat: Carjack strikes Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; with his Jaws of Death attack!

Combat: You took 8 damage.

Combat: You are very aware that your life is in danger!

Combat: Carjack's attack has damaged your Accuracy!

Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; screams again in sheer, utter terror as Carjack threatens to tear him open... and then the scream switches to pain as Carjack really does tear him open with those perverted Jaws of Life. His tentacles go limp as hydraulic fluid, ichor, and energon all spill out, and another set of optics are gouged out of his face. Blinded, he whimpers miserably, "You... are... a /hack/."

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; strikes Carjack with his Sonic Screech attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Carjack's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Carjack's Agility. (Crippled)

The Master's brows raise slightly as the two combatants trashtalk each other during the battle. "Not enough hacking," he mutters. He takes out a small ivory long-stemmed pipe. A small amount of tobacco from a pouch in his ghi is put into the bowl and lit. A small curl of smoke rises into the air.

"Aaauugh!" Fortunately Carjack can't hurt people just by screaming too, because he's screaming pretty damn loudly. "Just shut up already! Screams of pain are no fun when it's painful!" He doesn't even have time to enjoy the display as alien goo and inwards are revealed by his handy work. "What? Hack?! I just did.." Don't mind him, his audials are ringing from the screeches. Not to mention the vibrations started screwing things up inside thanks to the holes made in him by the bomb. "And now for my favor part.." The cutter apparatus retracts, and a pair of defibrillator paddles flick into his hands. "Post trauma!" Clearly those things are putting out more electricity than they should, sparks crackling back and forth as he tries to slam them down on the Quintesson!

Combat: Carjack misses Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; with his Shock Therapy attack!

Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; says mildly, though he's shaking, "I find magnetic therapy to generally be better recieved by patients than shock therapy. As far as hacking goes... I would /hope/ that Decepticon is using a firewall to prevent hacking, but if he is not, I would not risk so much as a flashdrive interfacing with that disease-ridden lunatic!" He withdraws his medical kit and gos to work on installing a new pair of optics for this face.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; quickly patches up some of his minor injuries.

The Master nods sagely at the Quintesson. He puffs out a few rings of smoke from his pipe. This match is quite intriguing to him. Nothing like the fights he's overseen at his Dojo.

Carjack growls as his opponent squirms away from him, and then starts patching up his wonderful work. "Oh so you wanna play like that do you? HMPH!" As if attempting to actually show his opponent up Carjack pulls open his chest, pulls out a busted piece of hardware from those sonic blasts, and fiddles to jury-rig some of the remain wires and tactical systems back into working order. Doctor heal thyself and all that. "I'll get back to you in a moment, squid butt!"

Combat: Carjack quickly patches up some of his minor injuries.

The little marmoset jumps up and down impatiently as the opponents pause to patch themselves up. "Patience, N'gilum," Master Showron says, "See, they are ready to engage once more."

Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; steals a sidelong glance at Carjack's repair-fu, and he switches faces again, correcting, "No. I will get back to /you/." His EDC-issue sidearm appears in one of his tentacles again, and he takes aim... right at the piece that Carjack just repaired. Repaired pieces tend to be weaker than normal.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; misses Carjack with his Laser attack!

Carjack may be a medic and not a warrior, but he's been doing this in middle of raging battles for quite some time, he knows better than to leave himself too open while doing a patch job, on himself or otherwise. Helps that he knows his own systems by memory, so he can keep an optic on his foe as well, and ducks out of the way of the laser fire. "That's what you get for not having opposable thumb servos!," he cackles. Reachs over a shoulder to pull one of his other tools off his back, and charges towards Apoc to try and clobber him with his beloved tire iron. "Beatings until morale improves! It's the Decepticon way! Bwahahaha!"

Combat: Carjack strikes Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; with his Do you even -have- a skull for me to bash in?! (Kick) attack!

Combat: You took 9 damage.

Combat: You are no longer worried about your mortal peril.

Combat: Carjack's attack has damaged your Velocity!

Master Showron grins at the various remarks. It puts him in mind of a student that was strong with the wisecracks. "N'gilum! Bring me my sandalwood incense!" He brings out a little incense burner and the Marmoset scampers away, returning in mere moments with a small cone of incense. He puts it in the burner and the old man lights it up with his pipe. The aroma of sandalwood fills the area.

Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; gets hit so hard by that tyre iron that he's not even scared anymore! Though his hover column does sputter and fade. Bolstered and bubbly, he switches back to Light and tries to crack his tentacles across Carjack's face, insisting, "You are small-minded for not considering all the... potential that tentacles offer."

Apocryphacius &lt;Judgement Face&gt; transforms into his Apocryphacius mode.

Combat: Apocryphacius misses Carjack with his Tentacle Crack (Kick) attack!

Carjack does the smart thing, intercepting the incoming tentacle with the tire iron. Though it gets wrapped up instead, keeping him from swinging it more as he has to wench it away. Then starts cackling again, flipping backwards to transform and wheeling in reverse to put some protective distance between them. "I need to redecorate this pastel nightmare anyways, it'll look so much better as an ash covered wasteland!" The flame blaster swivels around atop the truck, and starts spewing out blasts of flame. It's hard to tell if he's actually trying to hit his opponent, or just start the scenery in general aflame.

Combat: Carjack sets his defense level to Guarded.

Carjack hits the ground and folds into a rescue truck.

Combat: Crash Response Truck &lt;Carjack&gt; misses Apocryphacius with his BURNITTOTHEGROUND attack!

The old man quickly jumps up, marmoset still on shoulder, to avoid any stray flames that head his way. He perches, zen-like, on a small crag just up above, so that he can still watch while being relatively safe. Just so long as the Quintesson doesn't get any ideas of flailing his tentacles in the Master's direction.

Maybe Carjack should team up with the witches in the volcano and try a form of chemical warfare...

The Quintesson is busy ducking behind a very lovely sakura-like tree to hide from the flamethrower, so don't worry, Sensei. Apocryphacius tries to pop a little hole in Carjack's tyres.

Combat: Apocryphacius strikes Crash Response Truck &lt;Carjack&gt; with his Pistol attack!

Bang bang bang! Bullets fly, putting some holes in Carjack's front hood and fenders, though it does put out one of his headlights as he stops playing flamethrower and turns his attention back to Apocryphacius, engine revving. "Normally I save this for Autobots, but for you I'll make an exception!" He punchs the gas, dirt flying behind him as his rear tires spin a bit before grabbing traction, sirens and lights abruptly blasting to life as he tears across the canyon in an attempt to smash right through the tree if need be to run down his opponent as well!

Combat: Crash Response Truck &lt;Carjack&gt; sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Crash Response Truck &lt;Carjack&gt; misses Apocryphacius with his Collision Course (Ram) attack!

The Marmoset runs back and forth from one shoulder to another, chattering anxiously. What will become of the pretty sakura-tree?

Master Showron sits quietly, allowing a puff of smoke to form something suspiciously like the Autobot Insignia.

Apocryphacius runs away! He tries to lead Carjack away from the poor, innocent tree and into... a canyon wall. Hey, maybe Carjack is dumb enough to fall for it, though the fellow really seems rather bright... just demented.

Combat: Apocryphacius misses Crash Response Truck &lt;Carjack&gt; with his Run into a wall? (Kick) attack!

Crash Response Truck &lt;Carjack&gt; screechs and veers sideways as Apocryphacius bolts away from the tree, which saves him from crashing into it as well as he tries to turn tighter than intended to follow, and ends up fishtailing a bit before taking off again. Crazy yes, but he -is- smart enough to realize that he's being lead, and instead of barreling headlong builds up just enough speed to close in and then transforms in an attempt to use the momentum to tackle his opponent into the ground first instead!

The emergency response truck opens up into a robot.

Combat: Carjack sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Carjack misses Apocryphacius with his Flying Tackle (Kick) attack!

Master Showron breathes the faintest sigh of relief. The tree is not crashed into. Such a magnificent tree it is! The Master has half a mind to acquire a cutting, after the battle is over, to graft onto a tree in his garden.

Apocryphacius remarks flattly, "Ah. So you are clever, after all, machine. Just... so very unwise." The Quintesson cuts his hover column and collapses down to the flower-carpeted ground to let the tackle fly over him. Then he pops back up and screams at Carjack, switching faces to make it an eerie wail.

Apocryphacius transforms into his Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; mode.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; strikes Carjack with his Sonic Screech attack!

Combat: You are running low on energon!

Carjack ends up just eating dirt, looking up to spit flowers and sod out of his mouth after he skids to a stop. And then gets screamed at again. Gaaah. "That BETTER be your DEATH WAIL, 'Causd I'm getting IMPATIENT!" shrieks the combat medic in return as he pulls himself to his feet, sparks crackling as more interenal systems start to fritz from the sonic vibrations. Wheeling around he charges back at the Quint, reactivating his main weapon and trying once more to rip it violently into the space-squid's exterior. "Breaking your face will be satisfying even if you have multiples!"

Combat: Carjack strikes Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; with his Deconstructive Surgery attack!

Combat: You took 7 damage.

Combat: You are very aware that your life is in danger!

Combat: Carjack's attack has damaged your Accuracy!

Master Showron facepalms as Carjack's face ends up being used as a rototiller briefly. The little Marmoset leaps down and grabs all the pretty posies that spewed forth after Carjack spit them out, and he brings them back to the Master.

Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; quails in horror as Carjack cuts a wicked gash down his cheek... slashing through the other optic. Always in the eyes, with this Decepticon! He plains just tries to shoot Carjack, not caring to particularly aim at anything.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; misses Carjack with his Laser attack!

Combat: You are running low on energon!

Despite being practically right on top of him, Carjack manages to jerk his body to the side to keep from getting pelted with the blaster, the laser shot knocking stone loose from the cliffs behind them. He's trying to use his size and weight to his advantage over the smaller being and keep him relatively pinned down. With the other hand he pulls his gun out again. "This is almost over," he croons in a voice that's just dripping with sarcastic sweetness. Carjack may be a very good medic, but he's got very horrible bedside manners, to say the least. "So take your treatment like a good boy!" Instead of 'shooting' he tries to stab the needle right into one of the wounds and inject its foul concoction directly!

Combat: Carjack misses Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; with his Bad Medicine attack!

"Ah yes, thank you, N'gilum," the Master says, as the marmoset hands him the flowers. "I would have been loath to pick them otherwise, as they are quite rare, but they make a powerful medicine." He pockets the blossoms in a small ziploc baggie. Once the flowers are put away, he takes another long drag from his pipe and ahhhhhs.

Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; ducks behind a flowering bush and mutters, "I would not be worth my scalpel if I could not evade at least once syringe. Speaking of my scalpel..." He flicks that out and promptly tries to stab the Decepticon.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; misses Carjack with his Stab (Punch) attack!

Combat: You are running low on energon!

Carjack snags the tentacle with the offending medical blade in one hand. And pulls out his own laser scalpel with the other hand. "Mines bigger than yours," he sneers, before trying to stab it into Apoc's face violently. To be honest he's not trying to keep going for the eyes, but they tend to be a vulnerable place to hit all the same!

Combat: Carjack misses Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; with his Malpractice (Punch) attack!

The Marmoset gets very excited when the combatants get into closer quarters. "Perhaps," the Master says, "One never knows." It's as if he can understand the Marmoset's chatter.

Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; argues, "It isn't the size - it is the implementation!" Whipping himself into a fury again, he pulls out his sidearm and tries to shoot Carjack poink blank.

Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; transforms into his Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; mode.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; misses Carjack with his Laser attack!

Combat: You are running low on energon!

Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; argues, "It isn't the size - it is the implementation!" Whipping himself into a fury again, he pulls out his sidearm and tries to shoot Carjack poink blank.

Apocryphacius &lt;Death Face&gt; transforms into his Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; mode.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; misses Carjack with his Laser attack!

Combat: You are running low on energon!

Dangit, he wanted to make it a complete set of eye gougings! Oh well. Seeing the blaster come out again Carjack quickly backpedals away from the Quintesson, causing his attempt of a point blank shot to destroy more colorful flowers instead. The Con huffs a few times, trying to vent some air into his cooling systems. Even his energon readings are in the red, but he's still got a trick or two up his rotor cuffs. "Enough of this! It's time I carved you into something worthy of your little squidly exsistance!" To which, he pulls out a robot sized fireman's axe, and lunges towards Apoc while swinging wildly with it back and forth.

Combat: Carjack strikes Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; with his Ax Crazy attack! [Pulled -1]

Combat: You took 9 damage.

Combat: Carjack's attack has damaged your Strength!

Oh no, is that Carjack's Chopster? A few of his tentacles are chopped off, and he winces - he'll have to sew those back on later. he slides another clip into his gun and fire wildly in terror some more, suggesting, "That is why you must be stopped, machine. For you are a butcher."

Master Showron nods approvingly at the continued combat. Someone going to get a' hurt real bad. The Marmoset scurries off to rescue severed blossoms once more, as this is as good a time as any to collect such valuable medicinal objects.

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; strikes Carjack with his Pistol attack!

Combat: You are running low on energon!

Carjack lurchs back to pull his weapon back for another swing, and takes several more shots to the chest, knocking what remains of his chest armor into little bitty pieces. Maybe this is why people should be glad that normally he would be more concerned about being able to put the warriors back together to stick around this long... he's a little psychopath when he does let loose! "Flattery will get you flattened!" Carjack crows at the 'butcher' remark, despite feeling tired and beat up. "Now shut up and fall already!" Running out of steam for fancy tricks, he just hefts a foot and tries to stomp down on the annoying space-squid that's managed to run him ragged.

Combat: Carjack strikes Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; with his Curbstomp (Kick) attack!

Combat: You took 9 damage.

Combat: Carjack's attack has damaged your Agility!

Combat: Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; falls to the ground, unconscious.

Carjack has very big feet for his side we should note, being composed of half of his truck cab in general.

Apocryphacius &lt;Wrath Face&gt; is totally curbstomped. That's really all there is to say. A part-insect pony flits by and frowns at the mess, shouting at Carjack, "You, sir! There is no littering in this canyon! We will write you a very sternly phrased letter if you do not remove that... I have no idea what that even is."

The Sensei gets up as Apocryphacius is defeated. "Stop. Judge. Carjack." he says simply. "And thanks to you both. Without your battle, I would have been unable to procure these heal-all flowers." He smiles at Carjack and the Quintesson. "We may meet again, where silence has leash." And suddenly he and his Marmoset are gone, in a puff of smoke.

Carjack just narrows his optics at the bug pony. "You're lucky I don't have the energy left to dissect -you-.." But then scoops up what remains of his foe anyways. "And -you- are lucky that now that the fight is over, I gotta go back to the medic job." And carries him off to return to the medic tent.

Waking up to see Carjack's evil smiling face is going to be rough for Apocryphacius!