Fire In The Forest

Summary: (June 2031) Never, ever set fire to a forest in front of Dee-Kal. Seriously.

Black Forest, Germany

The thick forest and the foliage up above make this place as dark as...well, black. Except for the wide expanses of the Autobahn, there is little room to move for giant robots. Smaller humans, and human-sized robots, however, can move about more freely and hide in the underbrush.

Contents: Exo-Tank Hermes  Tank Rammstein Air Base Steel Foundry

Obvious exits: Northeast [NE] leads to Berlin, Germany.

Northwest [NW] leads to Brussels, Belgium.

South [S] leads to De-Militarized Zone.

Southeast [SE] leads to Zurich, Switzerland.

Fly [Up]

Rammstein Air Base A military airbase with both German and American presence! Hangars and various military equipment are present.

Exo-Tank Hermes  Tank is parked next to the mostly-deserted EDC Base, pilot's hatch open. James' head is visible as he talks to a pair of EDC footsoldiers dressed in camo gear.

Dee-Kal has arrived. Dee-Kal combs a strand from her optics.

Summer in Germany's Back Forest. Dappled sun percolates through the thick canopy of conifers and clumps of deciduous trees. Birds sing. Lederhosen are banned.

For a robot in disguise, Smokestack isn't doing particularly well at the 'in disguise' part. Having carefully surveyed the area, he picked a set of semi-disused railway lines near the tree line that once connected to the base and is quietly sitting astride a two sets of rails, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible for a giant black steamtrain. His internal systems are currently directing his smoke into baffles, barely a trickle of steam leaking now and then from his stacks as he inches along the rails beyond the perimeter fence. His senses probe the different hangers before settling on the half-open exo suit, trying to drink in all he can from its unique design.

Something *else* is lurking... in the undergrowth. The occasional bush quivers and rustles. Tree branches sway gently, but there is no particular breeze. Was that a twig snapping? Heat expansion at the EDC base..?

One of the EDC 'groundpounders' looks in the direction of the noise, then nods at the other. James seems completely oblivious until the pair turn and say something to him. That's when his own expression becomes grim. He drops out of sight within his Exo. Soon the Exo rises off the ground as ducted fans spin up to power and lift it on a cushion of air.

The rustling bushes stop. The next set of bushes quake slightly and rustle gently. There is a slight clink of metal on metal. A pause. Then the rustling picks up again. Then a set of saplings further into the forest sway slightly. The EDC craft seems to possess missile pods, and a swivel mounted weapon Smokestack doesn’t recognise. Lift provided by hover fans – the lack of a-grav is a good sign, but the Autobots have never been particularly expert in its manipulation. His observations are interrupted by half sensed movement in the tree line, and the heavy locomotive shifts his sensory locus towards the odd rustling in the bushes, training his various sensors on it. Without question, something is moving out there, something that seems to be metallic if his magnetic sensors are correct. Checking back towards the base, the EDC craft is now active and approaching rapidly. This presents a problem: if he comes close enough to notice the Decepticon logo incised into the centre of the front boiler shield, he cannot fail to realise its meaning. The train slowly inches backwards, barely moving, trying to put a little distance between his front couplings and the disturbance.

The saplings jiggle. Jiggle again. Clink! Scrape. Clink-clink! Squeak! Scrape... Then all falls silent once again.

Exo-Tank Hermes  Tank coasts to a stop at the edge of the tree-line, sensors probing the area. After a moment it reconfigures into a robotic form, using legs to make it's way through the thick forest and occasionally pushing aside branches with a hand or the barrel of a hand-held weapon, sized appropriately for the Exo. The Hermes reconfigures into Exo-Suit configuration.

The exo-suit passes in front of the train, now lurking stationary a few dozen meters away and with all smoke choked off at the source to avoid displaying activity. To his good fortune, it doesn’t seem to notice his presence is anomalous and instead transforms right in front of him. Sensors set to record drink in the sight, watching each piece fold and reconfigure. Akin to the flying suit his earlier opponent possessed in this mode... hrm. Not a good sign. Clearly there had been heavy technological contamination in the fundamental design, for all the vehicle mode appeared human inspired. The weapons technology would be interesting to observe. With luck, the human would be startled into opening fire on the bushes.

Something scuffles in the undergrowth. Another clank, another squeak... In the middle distance an adult tree shakes abruptly as if something has jarred it.

Suddenly; a movement right in front of the exosuit..!

A purple-and-white something pops up, right in front of James Bailey's exo-suit. A metal round head. With ears. Blue glowing eyes. And with a large chuck of metal (with butterfly screws and bolts sticking out of it), in its mouth. It's either the world's largest punk gopher...

Exo-Tank Hermes  raises it's weapon to point at the something, out of reflex judging by the slight jerkiness of the movement. It points at the something for just a bit, then lowers (much more slowly than it came up). "Dee-Kal?" James' voice crackles from external speakers set on the Exo's head unit. "Dee-Kal, if this is some sort of joke..."

Or Pong, the Junkion Tape-critter. Seeing a large figure directly in front of him, the tape Junk sits up on his back legs and cheerily presents the block of scaffolding to Bailey's exo, tail wagging. And when there's a pong in the forest, chances are there's a Junkion not far behind.

Odd. A cassette creature simply bobbing about in the forest? The momentary possibility of the suit demonstrating the nature and capability of its weapons to his calmly interested sensor packages faded to his regret as the pilot visibly recognised the machine. Hrrm. Now all that remained was for them to turn around and return to their base without paying any attention to him. If he remained in the area long enough, the soldiers would be increasingly likely to dismiss his presence without even consciously noticing it. All he had to do was blend into the background, another old piece of war era equipment.

Dee-Kal is indeed there, or somewhere close by. Since it's easier to get about on hands and knees (something the little Junkion is quite at home doing) she does so, occasionally failing to miss trees as she hunts for 'treasures' or more accurately, scrap metal bits and pieces the Autobots left behind before the move. On hearing her name being called, a more humanoid head pops up, lilac optics blinking in the sunlight. "Ahoy?"

Dee-Kal is indeed there, or somewhere close by. Since it's easier to get about on hands and knees (something the little Junkion is quite at home doing) she does so, occasionally failing to miss trees as she hunts for 'treasures' or more accurately, scrap metal bits and pieces the Autobots left behind before the move. On hearing her name being called, a more humanoid head pops up, lilac optics blinking in the sunlight. "Ahoy?"

Exo-Tank Hermes  stares at the offering impassively, and somehow you get the impression the pilot inside is mirroring the posture and (lack of) expression. "Dee-Kal." James' voice emits. "You can't have this thing roaming around near military facilities." The Exo's free hand raises so that it can point a thumb back towards the base. "Even if they're not seeing active use."

A junkion... potentially interesting. The depths of a forest were hardly a scrapheap, but she might turn up odds and ends. If her people were involved with the Autobots and these EDC people, then the technological crosspollination could be even more extensive than he had thought. Hrrm. They seemed engaged with each other to the point of blindness to him, but movement away was just too risky.

Dee-Kal stands upright fully, her shoulders and wings visible above the line of saplings. "Konnichi-wa, Masuta Baiuri." She flexes her shoulders, and the pannier on her back clanks. "Thing..?" She peers forwards, then spots Pong. "Oh silly, I am back here. That is James-sama. Master Bailey. Oide, oide, come here. What have you found..?"

Pong scampers back through the bushes and presents the scaffolding block to his mistress. She pats the purple head, gives him an energon snack and deposits the block in her pannier. She addresses James politely, bowing slightly to him "My boss at work requires that we recycle most efficiently. I recalled scaffolding left over from Metro-City's last maintenance and... " She pauses, and glances at the steam locomotive. Was that there last time she explored outside the City..? "Aannd... it seemed proper to smurf the pieces to reuse them. "Be Nice To Nature"

Exo-Tank Hermes  trains its optic sensors on Pong's scaffolding, then turns slowly to survey the surroundings. "It found that out /here/?" James' voice crackles out. "That's strange. This area should have been cleared by now." The Exo takes a few steps deeper into the forest, coincidentally sending it directly towards Smokestack's hiding spot. "Wonder what else got left behind when we moved out."

Dee-Kal ahems sweetly. "Gomen nasai, Masuta... his name is Pong, sir."

Smokestack tensed, his internal systems rising towards the threshold of movement as the Junkion femme looked directly at him. His insignia centred neatly on the round boiler plate seemed dangerously prominent to the lurking transformer, a deeply cut flash of violet against his sooty black hide. She looked away, spoke to the suit – and the suit began walking towards him. A decision had to be made: retreat now, while at range, or allow them to come closer with the chance that they would bypass him. A long second passed before he chose. He remained still, though his boiler was visibly hot and fuelled in the infrared.

Pong pads back through the bushes towards the exo and keeps to-heel alongside the officer in his machine. Somewhat to Dee-Kal's annoyance. "I think most of the big bits were smurfed, sir, hai. Cleared. But there were small pieces; this is why we came." And as she explains, the tape-critter snuffles at the ground then deviates from James's side. A loud squeak and a snuffle, and he returns (to James?!) with an Autobot size spanner in his mouth.

Exo-Tank Hermes  turns away from Smokestack's position to examine the spanner. "Nice work," James' voice emits from the speakers, a little softer this time. "Well, the EDC's agreement with the German government states that we'll leave this region in the same shape as we found it." The Exo takes a few steps back towards Rammstein, coming across a shallow crater from some explosive impact. It must have happened months ago at the latest, based on the shrubs and grass starting to fill in the crater. "As much as possible, anyway."

[James Bailey returned to base and Dee-Kal returned to her scavenging, eventually joined by Sit-Com. Smokestack remained unnoticed where he lurked. Some hours later... ]

The last armoured suit on the base had trooped into a transport and driven away some hours ago, and Smokestack was slowly coming to the conclusion that for the time being at least, there was nothing further to be gained by observation. The Junkion was still moving about the forest, but he judged the time right to try sidling away. Large wheels ground imperceptibly into motion, then immediately halted as a long spanner flew end over end out of the forest and disappeared under him. Growling a silent oath to himself, the locomotive remained still while the little cassette foraged underneath him, uneasily aware of his presence.

Dee-Kal throws the spanner Pong found earlier. "Totte ni.. Fetch!"

Pong just sits and looks up at her. The little Junkion looks puzzled. "What..? Oh - gomen nasai - Totte koi!"

 Coldwar says, "DEC-511 Coldwar commencing scheduled CAP. Now entering grid Heta."

~Come and dance on our floor...come and dance on our floor...~

~take a step that is new...take a step that is new...~

Sit-Com is beside Dee-Kal, also collecting bits of metal. Being helpful to a fellow Junk. And letting the Three's Company theme from the TV on his wrist.

Pong hares off after the spanner, tail practically whirling like a propeller as he runs. Not that the spanner is going any where. The tapeJunk picks it up off the rail road tracks with his teeth and brings it back.

 Harrow says, "That's awfully close to an Autobot base..."  Smokestack says, "I am observing the base. It is currently quiescent."

Dee-Kal promptly hurls the spanner again. *DINK* It hits the steam locomotive. And once again Pong hares after it. He can't quite get at it. It's under the locomotive. *SQUEAK!*

Coldwar soars over the forests of grid Heta (Germany). There were always unforeseen difficulties while performing even the most standard CAP, but thick forests were among the worst. Supremely difficult to see what lurks beneath the trees, ambush could come at any moment with little to no warning. The Decepticon soldier hugs the tree tops, trying to get as close as possible less he be caught completely off guard by the 'wrong side'.

 Coldwar says, "Copy that. Minimizing radio chatter."

Dee-Kal stands upright. "What now...?" She looks over at the train. "Unos momentos, Sit-Com-kun, I will be right back after these messages..."

The last armoured suit on the base had trooped into a transport and driven away some hours ago, and Smokestack was slowly coming to the conclusion that for the time being at least, there was nothing further to be gained by observation. The Junkion was still moving about the forest, but he judged the time right to try sidling away. Large wheels ground imperceptibly into motion, then immediately halted as a long spanner flew end over end out of the forest and disappeared under him. Growling a silent oath to himself, the locomotive remained still while the little cassette foraged underneath him, uneasily aware of his presence.

The little Junkion follows Pong over to the steam train. She ducks down and looks underneath the wheels. "Oh, smurf..! Pong, you can reach this. Just smurf underneath through *here*... and she indicates a handy gap near the front. Righting herself again, Dee-Kal places her hands on the locomotive's boiler. It's warm. Really warm. OK - it's HOT.

Not alone in these parts it seems, Coldwar's HUD display pinged to life as a blue targetting reticle denoting a 'friendly' unit appeared just on the heels of a transmission. The HV-911 altered his course slightly, carrying him closer to the supposed enemy base for a simple fly-by as his scoutting eye switched to ultra-zoom. Odd it was to find the base almost completely lacking defenses capable of repelling an attack by even the smallest Decepticon strike force. Perhaps though, the base's main defenses were yet to be seen...

The junior Junkette ponders why a train would be stoked and smoking... and yet sat idle on the tracks? Oh, yeah! Midsummer music festival. They love their music and they love their nostalgia here in Europe. This one must be waiting for the time to roll and put on a nice 'this is a locomotive' type show.

Sit-Com scratches his head as he watches Pong play. "What's that train doing there? Isn't that the train from Octopussy?" He wanders towards it, attempting to see if a prop from an old James Bond movie was sitting here in Germany.

Dee-Kal looks at her hands. Chee, the train's very sooty. There are marks on the boiler after a fashion, but she can't make out what they are, it's covered in soot.

The Junkion’s hand came to rest against his boiler, simmering with the heat of his internal furnace and the compacted soot collecting in his internal baffles as he muffles his usual outpour of steam and smoke down to a small trickle. Drat. He would have preferred with withdraw without drawing the attention of the base soldiers, but now she was certain to- another one. All it would take was one glance at the front of the boiler at his insignia, and that would be that. Smoke began to leak faster from his chimneys, beyond the capacity of his baffles to filter all of it, as he fired up the furnace and increased pressure, ready to move.

Pong scuffles around underneath the engine, locates his spanner and wriggles his way back out. He looks up at Sit-Com and Dee-Kal, tail perked. *Squeak!*

Arching closer to the base, Coldwar's sweep came up dry yet again. The defenses were poor, which gave him no choice but to assume that the forces here were spread too thin to maintain both active patrols as well as an adequate defense of their base simultaneously. Pity there wasn't just one additional Decepticon soldier in the area, otherwise the base would be more than simply a 'tempting' target. Sweeping past the base, just over the canopy of trees lining the railway tracks where the 'friendly' was identified it came as only a mild shock to find two of what appeared to be Cybertronians nearby. "...One's an Autobot," he spoke aloud to himself before relaying his findings.

"I thought it was an underwater car in Octopussy...?" Pong facepaws, sitting and squeaking. Deek takes a moment to recall. "Oh, the circus train? Err, unknown." She chuckles and rejoins her friend at the side of the tracks. "You would think they would smurf the train clean before it sets off. Ah, well, who can tell with Germans?" She beckons to Pong. "Ikimashou!" And the teen Junkette returns to the edge of the Forest to see what other Autobot salvage she can find in the undergrowth.

 Coldwar says, "DEC-511 Coldwar reporting. One Autobot, one unknown investigating unit designated Smokestack. Autobot and unknown unit appear non-hostile at the moment. Orders?"  Redshift says, "Who's the 'bot?"  Smokestack says, "A Junkion femme. Designation unknown."  Redshift says, "Oh, her."  Harrow says, "KILL HER." <Decepticon> Redshift says, "She's non-threatening, but feel free to engage at your leisure, Coldwar." <Decepticon> Coldwar says, "Roger that. Standing by for situational assessment." <Decepticon> Smokestack says, "Understood." <Decepticon> Redshift says, "Be aware that Junks might go down easy, but they won't /stay/ down." <Decepticon> Coldwar says, "Copy." <Decepticon> Smokestack says, "I will block their path to the base. Ensure they do not flee into the forest." <Decepticon> Axis Axis says, "Bring me their heads, Herr Coldwar. It would prove a rather enticing gift to the Fuhrer." <Decepticon> Coldwar says, "Aye, Pilot. Targetting."

Perhaps it was about time. There was little further to be gained from observing the base at this time, and his form was known to EDC agents. It was only a matter of time before his profile was circulated: this likely wouldn’t work again regardless of his actions here. His internal baffles released and a towering column of black smoke erupted from his dual stacks, staining the late afternoon sky. His huge iron wheels stirred into motion, Smokestack feeling a faint relief as he finally got to stretch his pistons, rumbling down the track to block the line of sight between the Junkions and the distant base.

Sit-Com had started to move towards the front of the train when it started taking off. "Oh, it's running away," he says. He looks down at Pong, then reaches into a subspace pocket for an energon chip-treat. He holds it out to the little skunk-tape.

Pong scampers after Deek, spanner in his mouth. She turns at a loud whoosh of steam and the sound of the engine starting up. Wo-o-ow... impressive. Meanwhile Pong drops the spanner and happily becomes Sit's best friend. *munch!*

Swooping in alongside the supply train as Smokestack began to position himself further down the tracks in order to cut off a possible escape route. Pivoting around to face the pair of enemy combatants, the HV-911 took to strafing as it shifted to from flight mode to hover. Coldwar wasted very little time, as a pillar of efficiency his scoutting eye placed Dee-Kal under its sights. <<Locking on.>>

Combat: Coldwar analyzes Dee-Kal for weaknesses.

The single large headlamp on the front of Smokestack’s boiler flickered on and off with his words as he rumbled in his low, rolling tones “Junkions, you are surrounded. Attempting to flee will only bring violence. Stay where you are and you may have a better chance of surviving this encounter.”

Dee-Kal is focused on the train. But does she see the front of the boiler? Only his player knows for sure at this point. She fails completely to see either the purple chevron on the front of the train, and happily yays at the moving steam engine, or to think that it is a Con blocking her immediate route to the base. (Not that this would be a real problem for her.)

The locomotive SPEAKS..?!

"Stay here? STAY HERE?! But I wanted to watch 'Are You Being Served?' on the Big Screen TV in Metroplex in about 15 minutes!" Sit-Com protests, "Come on, have a heart on a guy!"

Dee-Kal turns to her brother. "Metroplex is in San Francisco, Sit-kun. You should have set your TiVo."

Sit-Com facepalms. "Oh yeah, the TiVo," Sit-Com says, then leans in and whispers, <<way to blow our excuse to leave...>>

Coldwar tracks the Autobot Rookie for a few moments, unable to notice the lack of a reaction to his targetting of her person. Strange, perhaps these two are not combatants...but the orders were clear. Take them out. With a series of metallic snaps and clanks, the Decepticon Soldier alters his shape before producing a rifle the length of his arm. No words are offered to the would-be victims before a single shot is taken. No use wasting energon on targets that supposedly go down easy- not yet at least.

Gears grind, pistons pump, and sheets of metallic frame click into place revealing a robot in disguise! But not one of the good guys... Oh no, it's Coldwar! Combat: Coldwar sets its defense level to Neutral. Combat: Coldwar strikes Dee-Kal with its Frostbite Cannon attack!

Dee-Kal ohs, blushes her optics a pretty shade of fuchsia. "(Gomen, Sit-kun, apologies..!)" she whispers back. The suddenly she gets zinged by a very heavy dose of something cold and painful. Hey - who did that?! She whirls around, ponytail, wings, spoiler and all. Coldwar is very obvious behind her. Optics revert to lavender - then dark purple. "You smurfed out of nowhere and SHOT me?" The teenage Junkion marches right on up to him and confronts the assailant.

The little Junkion hips her fists, brushes frost from her frame. "You better have a GOOD reason for smurfing a pot at me like that. Explain. NOW-!" Combat: Dee-Kal quickly patches up some of her minor injuries.

FB 111-Aardvark <Broadside> ascends from the stratosphere, rather hastily, hoping to zero in on the commotion. He circles over the trees, looking for a clear spot to land... and seeing as the clearings are limited, he simply transforms and collapses a few trees, landing near Sit-Com. "Welllll lookie here... Sure hope no 'cons are shootin' on defenseless Junkies!" In a swift series of snaps and clanks, Broadside transforms into his robot mode.

"Hey hey hey, no pot-shooting the Deekster!" Sit-Com shouts angrily, "Here, maybe a shot of the theme from Perfect Strangers will straighten you out!" He gets out his sonic gun and aims a stream of the song at Coldwar.

Combat: Sit-Com strikes Coldwar with his Staaaaaanding Taallll on the wiiiings of my dreams! attack!

Maybe it was the comfy feeling of being surround by huge trees or maybe it was their scent that matched 10,000 of those little pine tree in plastic slips. Either way, Hawkeye was enjoying his time roughing it in the great outdoors of the German countryside. Only a few weeks ago, he had come across an amazing crash site while on patrol. Today was boring thou...*BEEEEEEP* *BLIIIIIP*

Suddenly, the Autobot's distress alarm goes off as he picks up a few energon signatures up ahead. "Hmm, things might just be picking up. Sweet!"

Withdrawing his 75mm sniper rifle from subspace, Hawkeye creeps his way up through the Black Forest, spotting the Junkions being pestered by the Decepticons. Raising his trusty weapon to his targeting visor, the sharpshooter kneels and focuses his sights on one of the do-badders. "I've got you in my sights now Decepti-punks." Combat: Hawkeye sets his defense level to Protected. Combat: Hawkeye takes extra time to aim his next attack.

Despite the banter that many decided to engage in while in combat with the enemy, Coldwar was never really much for words. While he respected all soldiers, both foreign and domestic, Dee-Kal's demand for an explanation none the less remains unanswered. Simple, and to the point, Coldwar remains focused on his objective. Ruby red optics squint, and he takes aim once again just as another pair of blips appear on his HUD. "Slag. Reinforcements," is uttered just before a sonic blast knocks him slightly off of his heading. Still, this doesn't prevent him from firing another shot at the Junkion teen in spite of his urgently relayed transmission to Command.

Combat: Coldwar strikes Dee-Kal with its Frostbite Cannon attack! [Pulled -2]

<Decepticon> Coldwar says, "Autobot reinforcements sighted. Strike force is now outnumbered two to one. Please advise. Over." <Decepticon> Crude says, "Need some help?" <Decepticon> Smokestack says, "It may be appropriate."

Dee-Kal narrows her optics and snaps her fingers to her pet, who joins her side. The tape critter swishes his tail back and forth and growls at Coldwar. "By the Black Book of Primus..." which isn't a Decepticon hand book, but it's a Decepticon tome of relevance to their faction. She glances back over her shoulder, then double-takes. "Doshita no..?! By the Creator-!" What is this - Sneak on Deeky day? She gets fired on again?! "*Nobody* fire! As Princess of Junkion - I order! MY ORDER!"

Bar one. She was shot at twice by Coldwar, with no explanation? Well, nobody smurfs Deek and threatens the environment! Dee-Kal says, "NOHOW!"

Combat: Dee-Kal strikes Coldwar with her Stun Setting attack! Combat: Coldwar has been temporarily incapacitated.

Smokescreen remained in train form as Coldwar menaced the Junkions, feeling no need to take part in their dismantling. The orders were unambiguous enough that his room for discretion was nil, but he opposed the pointless waste of potential informants. Broadside's arrival changed that, and quickly. His long trainform split and reconfigured into a towering robot mode, though still smaller than the even more imposing Broadside. His voice level, he responded "Not actively. The destruction of non-combatants does little to reduce the fighting strength or determination of an enemy. They are better interrogated. You, however, are a different matter." Clenching his fist, Smokestack released a scorching blast of flame from his hand mounted flamethrower.

The heavy black locomotive transforms into robot mode, red optics igniting. Combat: Smokestack misses Broadside with his Furnace Cannon attack!

<Decepticon> Coldwar says, "I am hit. Systems going haywire- locking up." <Decepticon> Smokestack says, "With your damage, we are heavily outmatched. Coldwar, withdraw as soon as your systems recover sufficiently to do so. I will cover your retreat."

Dee-Kal totes her triblaster, set to stun, and blows over the tip of the muzzle. Then she goes over to Coldwar. "You smurfed me two, I *should* owe you one." She crouches. "But I will not. No more shooting. Talk to Deeky."

Look, in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's CRUDE! He flies slowly through the air, his big red single optic staring down at the ground below. As he nears the site of the battle, he chortles to himself, dropping from the sky and landing with a heavy shaking. "Autobutts and Jerkions! It is I, the mighty CRUDE! I WILL SLAY YOU WITH THE POWER OF /OIL/!" he bellows, laughing so hard that his body shakes.

Broadside makes a beeline for the locomotive sitting on the tracks. "Sure ain't A-train-!" Smokestack transforms into a sizable mech, but this doesn't stop Broadside from whipping out his giant axe. "Big fella' aren't'cha! 'Cons need more of 'em, I'll say that! Whoa!" Ducking rather fast for someone of his magnitude, the flame grazes barnacles from his armor. "Looks like there's a fire n' ice motiff here! TIMBER!" He swipes his weapon horizontally, hoping to dig the blade into the train's shoulder armor.

Combat: Broadside sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Broadside strikes Smokestack with his Vibro-Ax attack!

"That's right! It's a not-Atrain!" Sit-Com says. Good, Deek seems to have put Coldwar on ice for a moment. "Now tell me," he says to the incapacitated Decepticon, "Why you're not at home, curled up in front of the monitor, watching the I Love Lucy Marathon?"

Pong snarls at Coldwar and boldly hops onto his chest, challenging the Decepticon nose to nose. Then the heavies start assailing each other. What anarchy IS this..? "Sit-Kun - do not let anyone harm this one. Pong - guard!"

Deek makes her orders, crouching over the fallen Decepticon, waiting for him to respond. Hopefully his voice isn't paralysed.

Holding his position ever-so-steady, Hawkeye continues following the form of his target as it moves. The arrival of Broadside sure helps the situation but then Crude lands with a loud *THUMP* and the Autobot sighs. "It's raining robots around here. Time to start turning the side here."

Hawkeye quickly analyzes the air density, wind direction, and estimated projected path of his target. Adjusting his aim just a hair, the sharpshooter inserts a fresh shell into his rifle chamber, slamming it into position with a hard locking sound. "Time to see if that training session paid off."

A second later, he squeezes the trigger, sending a spiraling shell in the direction of the same black-armored Decepticon he came across last time in the Black Forest. "Looks like these guys can't take a hint to beat it." Combat: Hawkeye strikes Smokestack with his 75mm Sniper Rifle attack! [Pulled -1]

CLANG! The axe cleaves a ragged gash into Smokestack’s soot black iron plating and he takes a step backwards, the flat iron wheel that makes up the heel of his foot digging a trench through the dirt as he strives to keep his balance. Another hammer blow smashes into his armour, blasting a ragged crater into his side. A sudden explosion of escaping steam boils up from the wound and he growls “These are not good odds. A fair fight is a failure in tactics, and this is not even that-“ He collapses into train form, boiler chewed up and visibly smashed in on one side, and releases a huge blast of steam that blankets the area like fog.

Combat: Locomotive <Smokestack>'s Steam Cloud attack on Dee-Kal goes wild! Combat: Locomotive <Smokestack> strikes Crude with his Steam Cloud Area attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Crude's Accuracy. (Blinded) Combat: Locomotive <Smokestack> strikes Broadside with his Steam Cloud Area attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Broadside's Accuracy. (Blinded) Combat: Locomotive <Smokestack> strikes Sit-Com with his Steam Cloud Area attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Sit-Com's Accuracy. (Blinded) Combat: Locomotive <Smokestack> misses Hawkeye with his Steam Cloud Area attack!

Dee-Kal orders Sit-Com and Pong to guard Coldwar while he's fallen.

Sit-Com indeed guards Cold-War, entertaining him with an episode of "Are You Being Served?". Then a cloud of Smokestack's smoke floats right into him and his filters spasm as he coughs out the particles. He can't see through the smoke either. Hard to watch TV that way!

<Decepticon> Smokestack says, "Given the Autobot tactical strength here, I see nothing that can be gained from further struggle in this forest. I have gathered all the data I can."

Coldwar growls as he is struck by an interesting form of attack, one that causes his his systems to go haywire and relieves him of all form of motor control- leaving him prone. Now, it seemed that the Junkions were moving to encircle him, though the curious words rather than actions give the Decepticon pause, but only the very briefest. After a few moments, looking up at the one guarding him, Coldwar's motor functions begin to return and the advisement of Smokestack chimes loud and clear within his comm unit, and after a brief acknowledgement the Decepticon soldier transformed. "Orders dictate that I take my leave, Soldiers," he offers to Sit-Com and Dee-Kal. "Next time, perhaps." Then, the HV-911 Bell Eagle Eye UAV rises swiftly toward the skylanes and begins to make a tactical retreat.

You receive a radio message from Dee-Kal: You assault without provocation. You have nothing to gain here. Why are you smurfing this battle? You damage the area you presumably wish to study. You waste resources. Stop, kudasai. This is silly.

<Decepticon> Coldwar says, "DEC-511 Coldwar retreating from battlefield in grid Heta due to overwhelming Autobot strength, and zero perceived tactical advantage."

Combat: Coldwar sets its defense level to Protected. Gears grind, pistons pump, and sheets of metallic frame click into place to form a HV-911 Eagle Eye UAV! Combat: Eagle Eye UAV <Coldwar> begins retreating, leaving itself vulnerable to parting shots from Locomotive <Smokestack>

"Git back here ya' glitchin'-!!" Broadside is cut off by a massive plume of black smoke. "Rrrgh, coward!" Vision obscured, he falls to a crouch and switches out his axe for his rifle. "Yer gonna' regret that, mister choo-choo," he growls, firing quite at random and taking down even more trees with beams of plasma. Combat: Broadside strikes Locomotive <Smokestack> with his Plasma Rifle Barrage attack! [Pulled -2]

Despite not being able to see anything due to the cloud of steam, Crude must nonetheless defend his comrades. He points his wrist at the last place he remembered seeing Dee-kal, and shouts, "BURN IN BURNING, JERKION!" Napalm spurts from his wrist in a long stream, lighting several nearby trees ablaze.

Combat: Crude misses Dee-Kal with his Napalm Puker attack!

Surrounded by a thick black veil of smoke, Smokestack is taken somewhat by surprise by the spray of plasma bolts. Unfortunately for him, several strike home with surprising accuracy. Melted holes are cored through his cab and blast off the hook on his front coupling, melting a hole through his front guard. Quite severely damaged now, a spray of boiling water splashes out onto the track. Enough is quite enough. Firing off a final radio message, his wheels stri into rapid motion and he lunges away down the length of the dilapidated tracks, trying nothing more complex than to get clear.

Combat: Locomotive <Smokestack> sets his defense level to Protected. Combat: Locomotive <Smokestack> begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

You send a radio message to Dee-Kal: I was here to study the corruption of this planet’s technology with ours and yours. I am not responsible for the actions of those who share my symbol. There is nothing to be gained by destroying you or this place. I am leaving before any more damage is caused by this utterly pointless conflict.

Dee-Kal takes to the air and avoids the napalm blast by Crude. "Blast *everyone* - you are damaging the whole forest and you danger the base and its humans!" She growls and her optics glow dark furious purple. "This. Stops. NOW...!"

Combat: Dee-Kal misses Locomotive <Smokestack> with her Smurfed Off And Screaming Area attack! Combat: Dee-Kal strikes Broadside with her Smurfed Off And Screaming Area attack! Combat: Dee-Kal strikes Hawkeye with her Smurfed Off And Screaming Area attack! Combat: Dee-Kal strikes Crude with her Smurfed Off And Screaming Area attack! Dee-Kal screams, smurfed off totally!

Sit-Com eeps quietly. He's never seen Dee-Kal like this. He's totally blown away. "Remind me not to smurf with her," he says to Pong.

Broadside straightens, frowning behind his mask. "Aww frag. He was kinda' fun. Hrnn, ah well." Turning his visor on Crude, he places a hand on his hip and slings his rifle over his shoulder. "You gonna' retreat with the rest a' yer cowardly pals?" Before he can continue jeering, Deeks fries up his audials! "Sunnuva-!" he winces, clapping his hands on his helm. Combat: Broadside takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

"Yes! Right on target!" exlaims Hawkeye as he drills Smokestack with a 75mm shell. It couldn't have come sooner too with all that white smoke filling the air. If Smokey the Bear was here, he'd definitely take offense to the Decepticon locomotive's actions. If he didn't, then he certainly would for Broadside who just finished torching up a half-dozen trees with his plasma fire.

With some flames starting to spark up around him, Hawkeye gets up from his position and looks for a safer location. In the process he receives a radio message followed by an audio-receptor-shattering scream from Dee-Kal. "Yoooww! Easy with that! You're on our side!!"

Joining Broadside in the open, the Autobot sharpshooter levels his rifle at Crude. "You heard Broadside Decepti-jerk. Are you staying or going? If I was you, I'd start running NOW."

Crude shrieks as his audials are fried. His big optic narrows with a reticle around it, not hearing what everyone is saying. "Huh?" He shrugs his shoulders. "Autobutt losers, I'll get you all - next time!" He turns and takes off into the air, flying away.

Combat: Crude begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Broadside, Dee-Kal, Hawkeye, and Sit-Com

Dee-Kal says, "Everyone - this is not how I wished to spend my day - Leave here, now! Leave here alone!"

Dee-Kal flies up even higher. She looks at the singed trees and the burnt grass. the scorched tracks and she shakes her head. No.

Broadside huffs, shaking a fist after Crude. "Won't be a next time, punk!" he yells, then turns to Deeks and Sit-com. "Well you certainly ain't happy but at least you're not dead, eh? Don't worry, they'll get the Protectos over here..."

Dee-Kal flies round in a circle about the battle. Her scream appears to have pause the conflict - for now. She lands right in the middle of it all and her wrist pods open. Nozzles extrude. "Prepare to be stupid, and you will not be disappointed," she mutters. Foam blasts from both nozzles to cover the fires in white cooling bubbles.

Once the smoke clears, Sit-Com is glued to his wrist-TV. Hmmm, no sit-coms on at this hour. However, there is some Dukes of Hazzard! He settles down, listening to Waylon Jennings drawl out the theme.

Hawkeye watches the Junkions depart along with the Decepticons. Turning to Broadside, he shakes his head. "You'd think we'd get at least a thank you for helping them out. Geez, we're the good guys here." Holstering his weapon back into subspace, the Autobot leaps up into the air. "Well Broadside, I'm going to continue my patrol of the area out here. If I come across anything, I'll radio over."

With that, the Apache Attack Helicopter chops through the air and away from the battle site. Hawkeye leaps into the air, transforming into an AH-64 Apache Helicopter.