Blitzwing vs Springer (Full Combat)

A thin but biting wind whips through the ragged spires and antennae that bristle up from the dark, cold surface of Cybertron, cradle of the Transformers' race and battleground of the ages. The occasional robot animal rustles and clatters in the debris scattered across the hard ground or vanishes into a rusty burrow at a sudden sound.

Springer emerges from the Space-Bridge from Six Lasers, pushing away a few persistent and shady aliens trying to get 'donations' out of all passing travellers. "I was AT the K'Tor nebula, you little shrike-bats! We Autobots already did our share to help there!" If by 'help' you mean 'harvest all the available energon within range and fight of Quintessons on general principle', he thinks. But it's good to be back on Cybertron. Springer figures he'll try to have all the rest of his matches here, and may just skip all of the other events completely.

Blitzwing is waiting for Springer already, leaning on his sword. "You get held up, Springer? Had some primitive screwheads to set on fire for Sky Lynx or what?"

A Sweep arrives, and he seems to have an unwelcome passenger. A strange alien fish--which literally appears to SWIM in air--seems to have hitch-hiked a ride on the Sweep's shoulder, and every time the Sweep growls and tries to swat at it, it leaps upwards, only to settle again on the unhappy Sweep.

The Sweep regards the two combatants with a curt nod. "So you need a referee," he murmurs.

"A referee! I can do that!" the Fish shouts.

"Quiet, you," the Sweep growls.

Springer gives the referee a quick look, then turns to look at Blitzwing. Hmm, has he been working out? Finally Springer reaches behind his back and pulls out his own sword. "I'm gonna enjoy every second of this." Being a special sort of Autobot, Sprigner doesn't waste time with preliminaries or letting his opponent attack first. Instead he leaps at Blitzwing, aiming a quick, nasty chop at his upper torso!

Springer strikes you with blade for 6 points of damage.

Blitzwing is fast, but he can still be surprised! He only has time to twist to shift some of the force of the blow onto heavier armor, retaliating with a forward snap of his head towards Springer's own face in a sudden headbutt. "Hope so, because you ain't gonna last too long." You have set the custom name for attack blow in mode 1 to "Cracking Headbutt." You strike Springer with Cracking Headbutt.

The little black-and-red fish fixes his yellow eyes upon the combatants. "Green guy: Half point. Purple and tan guy: Full Point." The Sweep makes a face. "This isn't one of those stupid karate arcade games, you know," he snaps.

Springer's head is smacked back by the return blow, his body arching backwards before he turns sideways so that he can regain his balance. Or maybe that's just what he wants it to look like...once he gets his feet back under his center of gravity, Springer continues the turn, the motion changing into a spin and then slashing out with a backhanded swing that adds the momentum of his movements to the force of the blow. "You ever learn to use one of these? Or is it just for picking Predaking's teeth?"

Springer strikes you with Sword for 10 points of damage.

Blitzwing catches the sword on his left forearm, leaving a nasty gash, but this leaves his right hand free to ignite his own electrosaber with a crackle and a hiss and sweep it up towards Springer in a looping arc. "Yeah, I've picked up a few things."

You strike Springer with Power Sword.

"What, no Tiger Uppercut? No Hadooken?" the Fish says incredulously.

"What did you expect?" the Sweep retorts, "Transformers cannot 'hadooken'. They can do THAT, however," and he inclines his head at Blitzwing's best impersonation of 'Hassan CHOP!'

"I can Hadooken!" the Fish snorts, "OOOH nice chop."

Springer jerks back away from the crackling blade, taking a step back. "Touche," he offers grudgingly. Then he raises his sword over his head, like an ancient Metallikato master...steps forward, sword coming down behind him, chambered for a pear-splitting blow on top of Blitzwing's head. "Uh...actually, I never learned Metallikato," he admits. Instead he lashes one foot out at his rival triple-changer's shin.

You evade Springer's kick attack.

"Me-ta-li-ka...to?" the Fish pronounces, as if he's using Hooked on Phonics: Cybertronian Version. "What's that?"

"It's an ancient Cybertronian martial art," the Sweep replies, "Perhaps you are ignorant of it because nobody's made it into a video game yet."

The Fish glares at the Sweep.

"That's okay," agrees Blitzwing, skipping away with a grin and a swat with his left hand to block the kick and bat it away. "Neither did I. That's why I have one of these." The tank cannon over his head abruptly shifts to one side with a clonking sound, extends upwards a couple feet and then drops down to level itself at Springer over Blitzwing's right shoulder. "I find it usually does the trick."

You strike Springer with Shoulder-Mounted 125mm Cannon.

BLAM! A long spear of muzzle flare blazes out of the cannon bore and almost scorches Springer since by tank standards Blitzwing is at point-blank range from his target.

Springer is blasted back away from his opponent, skipping and bouncing across the ground a couple of times but managing to roll backwards to his feet in a three-point crouch at the last one. As he straightens up he reaches behind his back with what was his 'plant' hand to slide free his rifle. Before firing he thumbs a tiny control on the handle to change the setting to wind tunnel mode.

You evade Springer's Wind Tunnel attack.

Blitzwing dives out of the way of the initial vortex, comes up in a crouch behind a bunker that's been peacefully rusting here for a few million years, lunges into the air and ignites the turbojet engines in his legs, hurtling into the air in sudden swooping flight to put more distance between himself and Springer so that he can unlimber his really heavy weaponry. "Hey Springer!" Blitzwing shouts down over the roar and whine of his engines. "I hope it's your birthday... because I GOT YOU A PRESENT!" Both of the panels on his topheavy shoulders flip open, revealing paired banks of rockets. They launch in a hissing, smoking swarm, spreading outwards in a mass of crazy spirals before descending and converging towards Springer's position!

Springer evades your Drunk-Missile Barrage attack.

One second Springer is standing there, Blitzwing's rockets swarming towards him - and the next second he's gone. Or to be more precise, in the air about 90 feet above where he was a second ago, letting the missiles pass by harmlessly below. The hydraulics and servomotors in his legs are so overdeveloped that even with the tiniest flexing of his knees he can leap three times the height of a transformer. Even before he starts to fall to the ground again, he's got the rifle pointed at Blitzwing's aerial form, unleashing a looong stream of lasers.

You evade Springer's Laser Barrage attack.

"Well, if you're going to be so kind as to separate yourself from ground clutter like that..." exclaims Blitzwing gleefully as he transforms into a jet and barrel rolls through the lasers in a mad aerial charge back towards Springer. A pair of much bigger missiles drop from his wings and streak towards Springer on smoke trails as Blitzwing hurtles past overhead with a deafening sonic crack. Blitzwing unfolds and reconfigures himself rapidly, wings snapping out and locking into position as he assumes his aerial form.

Springer evades your AA-6 "Acrid" Missile attack.

The Fish would have been greatly impressed, had someone tried a Chun-Li style Head Stomp. As it is, the battle is still pretty entertaining, if not quite up to Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat par. "Anybody got a harpoon, so you can say, "C'mere!" and then uppercut them?"

"Fish, I swear, you sound just like a Junkion," the Sweep grumbles.

A Junkion pops out of a garbage dumpster. "Hey! I resemble that remark!" He disappears.

Springer's optics widen as the missiles approach - he's got little chance of evading them while falling like a 15-ton hung of Green and Yellow metal. Instead he utilizes one of the gifts shared by all true triple-changers...he transforms instantly into his own aerial mode.

Rotors immediately blur into motion, clawing at the air to bring Springer just over the missile's trajectory. Then he spins around and chases after Blitzwing. Tiny cyber-jets in his 'wings' emit a trail of smoke and he pulls after Blitzwing much faster than a jet has any right to. Springer's entire frame rattles as he approaches the sound barrier himself, but can't quite manage so settles for sending a few lasers streaking after the faster jet. Springer shifts quickly into his helicopter mode.

Green Cyber-Copter  strikes you with laser for 12 points of damage.

MiG-25 "Foxbat" dives back towards the surface as Springer pursues him and rakes him with laserfire. He pulls a Pugachev's Cobra bare feet off the ground, searing the iron soil with his afterburners as he burns off speed so suddenly that he almost stops in midair... then transforms again in a flash and hits the ground with a crash as a tank! His cannon swings up towards Springer and fires again with a BOOM in an attempt to shoot down the Autobot helicopter before he can fully realize what's going on! Falling to the ground, Blitzwing folds himself inwards, armor locking into place and cannon snapping down as he becomes a battle tank.

You strike Green Cyber-Copter  with 125mm Cannon.

Green Cyber-Copter  sees what's happening - it's kind of hard to miss a gigantic tank, but he makes the critical mistake of angling towards Blitzwing, trying to chase him down while relying on his increased aerial agility to evade attacks. But of course, he doesn't actually -have- increased agility in his aerial mode, and instead the cannon blast smashes into him, nearly knocking him from the skies. He manages to angle himself to come down on top of Blitzwing, before transforming trying to plunge his own sword - power field activated this time - down through the top of the tank's turret. Springer shifts quickly into his robot mode.

 Springer used energy_sword. (&combatspam me=1 to stop this.) You evade Springer's Energy_Sword attack.

T-72 MBT reverses hard with a howl from his engines, treads kicking up rust-colored dust as he wheels away from the plunging chopper and sprays it down with machinegunfire from his coaxial gun. "Fall, Springer! Fall!"

Springer evades your 7.62mm Machine Gun attack.

"That 'fall' looked more like FAIL!" the Fish pipes up.

"SILENCE! Or I'll fillet you!" the Sweep roars. "You'll have to catch me first!" the Fish counters.

"I'll just set out a line and bait it with a chicken mcnugget," the Sweep replies.

The Fish takes one look at the Sweep and bursts out laughing.

Springer dives to one side away from the gunfire, rolls a bit and finds himself next to one of Blitzwing's massive tank treads. "Blitz, I've been meaning to ask you...what's with the modes? These have gotta be from the last century. The MIDDLE of the last century. You ever heard of a thing called hover-tech?" He promptly stabs with his sword into the mechanism, trying to jam it in so that the treads lock.

Springer strikes you with Sword for 11 points of damage.

T-72 MBT keeps trying to reverse and throws a tread in the process, rolling back upright in his robot mode and driving a fist forward for Springer's neck almost before he's finished transforming back into his robot mode. "They're CLASSICS, all right? Some of us still believe in robots in disguise!" With a loud clanging and clunking Blitzwing rearranges himself into his imposing humanoid form.

You strike Springer with Flash Piston Punch.

The Fish nods. "Classics are awesome! Like Donkey Kong and Final Fantasy! And Street Fighter II Turbo!"

The Sweep rolls his optics. "Just keep your eyes on the match," he growls, "If you're going to referee, at least pay freaking attention."

Springer catches the fist in one palm, holding Blitz's fist and acting like that didn't hurt. Even though it did. A lot. Owww, Springer things, I have GOT to ask Focus how he does that. But his voice shows no sign of all this, and Springers continues the 'conversation' in a pleasant, relaxed tone. "Classics? If by 'classic' you actually mean 'ancient and outdated', I'd have to agree with you. But c'mon...what kind of a disguise is it if people turn their heads and go 'I can't believe THOSE are still around!'?" With that he pumps his own fist at Blitzwing, in a haymaker to the Decepticon's jaw.

Springer strikes you with Punch for 8 points of damage.

Blitzwing's visor shows a crack as Springer nails him in it, but he responds by twisting away and hooking a heavy foot high towards his opponent's upper body! "Well, so what are YOU supposed to be, smart guy? You're the only one of that kind of... whatever the slag kind of car that is... I've ever seen!"

You strike Springer with Head Hook Kick.

Springer's body is turned sideways by the force of the kick. "UNH! It's just a car, okay? It's Cybertronian. Now THAT'S what you call classic." Still turned to the side, Springer raises the sword in the hand away from Blitzwing - this keeps it partially out of Blitzwing's view as Springer's body is in between. Springer spins it around in his fingers, the energy field crackling to life, ending with the blade held in a reverse grip, extending down from his palm. Then Springer spins more, stabbing it back at Blitzwing in a sudden move to try and catch him by surprise!

You evade Springer's Energy_Sword attack.

Blitzwing dances back from the sword, swats the flat of it away with the back of his hand, weaves a moment, fires his leg jets and suddenly leaps at Springer with both legs whirling in an acrobatic double kick!

Springer evades your Double Dragon attack.

Blitzwing hits the ground again with a screech of metal as he skids to a halt. "It's good enough, all right? If I wanted to go back to my two-barrel space-capable Cybertronian mode I would, but I like to give you guys a sporting chance!"

Springer throws himself flat, letting Blitzwing's kicks pass completely over him. Still on the ground, Springer waits until the instant one of Blitzwing's legs is down before shooting his own foot out to try and knock it away, before Blitzwing can completely bring his other leg down to brace himself. It's all so fast that even if it works, Blitzwing will probably be hanging suspsended in the air for a few seconds with some time to make a comment or two!

Springer strikes you with kick for 9 points of damage.

The Fish regards the moves critically. "Eh. Double dragon was an o-k game. I like Mortal Kombat better. FINISH HIM!" he shouts.

"Stupid fish, they're nowhere near their limit," the Sweep snorts.

"I just want them to know when the time comes!" the Fish protests.

Blitzwing gets juggled! Uhoh... is an aerial combo upcoming? He brings his weight down on Springer (or on where Springer was a moment ago, depending) knee-first in a crushing blow!

Springer evades your Jumping Knee Stamp attack.

Springer rolls out from under Blitzwing's blow, and keeps rolling to gain some distance and take stock of his situation. Stopping on his back, he throws his legs up and over his head to launch himself in a backwards roll that brings him back to his feet again, one arm already up. The tiny panel on his forearm swings open to reveal a small energy weapon, which he immediately fires at Blitzwing. "Starting to slow down a little there, Blitz!" he crows.

You evade Springer's Pop-Up Laser attack. Springer says, "Uh...never mind."

Blitzwing IS getting tired. And beat up. But he's still got some moves in him. "I've still got some moves in me!" he confirms. He ducks under the arm, rises back up and brings a massive fist swinging around in a high, slashing arc down towards Springer's cheek!

Springer evades your BEAT KNUCKLE attack.

Springer sees the punch coming, and for the briefest of instants he thinks about raising his palm to try and catch it. Oh to hell with the Cybertronian Martial Arts, he thinks to himself, instead just throwing up a forearm to block, hooking it in Blitzwing's elbow before his fist can reach full extension. Then Springer twists and tries to send his own fist, the one from the other hand, across Blitzwing's chin in his best barroom brawl right cross.

Springer strikes you with Punch for 6 points of damage.

Blitzwing goes flying backwards, hits the ground, rolls backwards, springs up onto his feet and brushes his nose with the back of his hand. "Didn't hurt," he lies, but the oil oozing down his face tells a different tale. He snaps out his left arm as if shooting his cuffs; a panel opens and a giant combat knife appears therein, flips out and lands in his palm. "Hold still, you. The Tooth Fairy and me, we got an understanding." He lunges for Springer, trying to grab him by the jaw and pry out one or more of his teeth at knifepoint!

You strike Springer with Desperate Brutality.

"Oooh forcible extraction," the Fish says approvingly, "Goona make a necklace out of them, like with Sharkticon teeth? Hey greenbot, better get a denture plate, or they're goona have to give you energon through a /straw/."

The Sweep slaps his forehead. "You idiot, energon is already liquid!"

Springer struggles at first, but then can only gape in astonishment as something toothlike gets pried free from his jaw. "Ah..." he slurs, then tries again. "Ah dedn knowww wwe evhen hhhaad thosh!" He complains, before reaching behind his back and producing his own combat knife. This one is huge, curving and serrated along one edge - the TF equivalent of a Bowie knife. And he wastes no more time before trying to stick it in Blitzwing's side.

Springer strikes you with blade for 8 points of damage.

"Just the lucky ones- augh! Just the lucky ones!" replies Blitzwing with a manic grin on his dark face. He falls on Springer as he is jabbed, his own oversized Ka-Bar rising and falling in a simple but effective overhand stabbing motion. A turbocricket can be heard in the background of the clash and rattle of combat, making that repetitive REET-REET-REET-REET noise that they do.

Springer evades your Psycho Ghostface Killa attack.

The Sweep reaches into a bag of energon-popcorn that he'd been holding, and pulls out a handful of fuel-drenched kernels. A few of the fluffy treats fall to the ground, and the Fish is quick to dart down and gobble them up. He then returns to the safety of the Sweep's shoulder.

The Sweep looks askance at the Fish. "You're like a &^$ing Remora, you know that?"

Springer stares at Blitzwing as he goes crazy. He manages to block a few by bracing his own forearm in front of Blitzwing's wrist just before the blade connects, twists aside frantically and throws his head to one side and then the other to avoid the next, then finally gets his own hand up and locked around Blitz's forearm, the one holding the knife. All of this while Springer's knife is sticking out of Blitzwing's side. Springer flashes a sinister menacing grin, the kind you don't see from him too often, and then rams the palm of his free hand against the hilt of the blade, trying to jam it in further!

You evade Springer's twist the knife! attack.

Blitzwing turns his hand, twisting away from the blade as he snaps it off and drops with his weight behind his arm, trying to flatten Springer's face!

Springer evades your Driving Elbow attack.

Springer rolls away just in time, letting Blitzwing's attack crunch into the ground where it no doubt leaves a deep depression in the shape of the armor over Blitzwing's elbow. But then, while his enemy's weight is still supported by the elbow Springer grabs him by the upper arm, pulls it aside while putting a hand on the back of Blitzwing's head and trying to slam him face-first into the ground.

You evade Springer's MMA-style! attack.

Blitzwing reaches back behind his head with a snarl, grabs the hand, clenches his fist around the thumb and digs in, trying to crush the joint.

Springer evades your 1 2 3 4 let's have a Thumb War attack.

The Fish looks on in disbelief. Miss, miss, miss... "Are these guys drunk? Or do they both have on Talismans of Evasion? I don't think either had enough time to farm up a Butterfly."

"What in the Swirling Void are you on about now, you wretched ichthian?" the Sweep grumbles.

The Fish grins. "Defense of the Last Hits. Now who's going to get the Last Hit? OMG NOOB STOP AUTO ATTACKING! DENY PLZ!"

Springer's thumb is twisted all out of shape! He pulls his hand away and struggles to his feet, taking a few steps back. When he holds up his hand, his thumb is dangling grotesquely, the digit is set at a clearly unnatural angle. But Sprigner just shrugs at Blitzwing, wraps his other hand around the mangled thumb, and BENDS it back into shape. He holds his hand up, trying to flex the thumb. It twitches a little. He closes his hand into a fist, then manually forces the thumb down to where it's supposed to be. Then he takes the handle of his sword in his other hand and twists it into place in the fist. Finally he looks up at Blitzwing and grins a gap-toothed grin. "Ghhoood ss nnhew!" He slurs, before launching a flurry of slices!

Springer strikes you with Sword for 8 points of damage.

Blitzwing had risen to his feet as Springer had, and was resting a moment with a hand on his knee when Springer suddenly comes for him again with flashing sword! "Okay, okay, desperate times call for desperate measures!" mutters Blitzwing, stumbling back under the assault of slashes and rocketing into the air. He transforms, powers away as a jet, rolls back and power-dives, skimming over the ground low enough for the sharpened edges of his wings to sever heads- and that is indeed his intent!

Blitzwing unfolds and reconfigures himself rapidly, wings snapping out and locking into position as he assumes his aerial form.

Springer evades your ram attack.

The Fish blinks (a fish has eyelids? Yes, when they float in air they do!). "Oooh someone finally got a hit in!" he crows.

Springer watches Blitzwing approaching, thumbing on the control to activate his sword's energy field (with his GOOD thumb, that is). He crouches to leap at the fighter, but when he sees that it's flying straight at him, he realizises Blitzwing's intent. Instead of trying to dodge Springer braces himself, then just before collision he swings mighty chop at the joint between wing and fuselage!

You evade Springer's Energy_Sword attack.

MiG-25 "Foxbat" lifts the wing just a hair, allowing Springer to sever... not the wing, but the hardpoint of an ARMED BOMB. It lands on the ground at Springer's feet and rolls a bit. Then makes a quiet *click* noise.

You strike Springer with Mother of All Bombs.

The Sweep uh-ohs and turns and shields himself with his wings as the bomb goes off. The fish likewise dives for cover, into the inside of one of the Sweep's batlike wings.

A roiling orange mushroom cloud soars up over the blackened terrain as the thermobaric implosion bomb ignites with a sucking WHOOMPH, ripping up plates from the Cybertronian landscape. Blitzwing skids across the ground, spins nose-over-tail and comes to an eventual halt several hundred yards away from the rising, burning cloud. "Gotcha," he laughs weakly.

Springer looks down at the bomb. He knows he's got just a split second to say something witty. Wreck and rule? 'Till all are one? Oh sh--?!


 * click!*

Springer tenses, then makes his decision. When you get down to it, he's sentimental. "Wreck and ruu--"

KABOOOM!

There's a huge explosion, smoke and flame everywhere. Then when it clears, Springer is standing there, swaying on his feet a little, armor scorched and blacked. "Rule", he coughs, a tiny cloud of smoke puffing out of his mouth. Then he shrugs. "You ready to call it a day Blitz?"

"Yeah..." says a voice from the jet. "I guess if you're still standing you win. I got no ordnance left and I can't transform or move."

Springer looks over and spots something - his sword, lying on the ground. Along with the hand that was holding it. He limps over and picks it up, trying to reattach it then giving up and tucking the whole thing, dismembered hand and all, under his arm. "I'll take the win. Something tells me that even lying on the ground without moving, if I took another shot I'd just miss somehow."

"Sanitater!" shouts Blitzwing, but it doesn't come out very loud. Octane, who had been waiting safely in a bunker, comes up and refuels him with the usual fussing snarky banter. "Stow it, 'Tane," grumbles Blitzwing, slugging Octane in the shoulder as soon as he can transform. As most Decepticons are, he is a sore loser.

"That's IT?" the Fish says incredulously. "Whatever happened to "Finish him!"?" The little creature sighs. "Fine, GG Blitzwing. Springer. WIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS. Immobalaty."

The Sweep nods. "I shall report the loss."