Bugs on the Brain

Iacon General Hospital - 

There are many hospitals in Iacon, but none as prestigious and well equipped as Iacon General Hospital. The numerous state of the art facilities housed within the hospital offers around the clock emergency repairs, upgrades, and mundane upkeeps. Iacon General Hospital is staffed by many of the Autobots' brightest minds where the non-combatants can do their part in contributing to the war effort.

 Whirl says, "Uhh, so Torque."

 Torque says, "Hm?"

 Whirl says, "So I've been hearing that you APPARENTLY tried to patch up Backfire the other day."

 Whirl says, "You know, the guy that infested us with bugs?"

 Whirl says, "And has an unhealthy obsession with you?"

 Torque says, "....Yeah. I did. I just slapped on a quick patch since he had, you know a gushing hole in his head."

 Whirl says, "....Why?"

 Torque says, "Because it felt like the right thing to do at the time?"

 Whirl says, "Okay so, let me get this straight."

 Horsepower says, ".. Considerin' it's Backfire, big hole in the head ain't really a loss per say."

 Whirl says, "You'll put be on a medical ban for SOME reason and refuse to fix me but you'll fix Decepticon stalkers?"

 Whirl says, "I'm just making sure I got everything right."

 Torque sighs, "It's more complicated than that.."

While not the obsessive busybody certain powder blue fire engines were, Horsepower did like to keep himself busy. There was certainly no shortage of things to get done, the mechanic trudges through with a storage locker slung over one shoulder, looking for a certain femme in need of one hell of a manicure.

 Whirl says, "You know the more attention you give a stalker, the harder it is to get rid of them, right?"

 Whirl says, "I'm just looking out for your best interest."

<Autobot> Torque says, "......Whirl. You realize what you're saying, right?"

<Autobot> Horsepower says, "Kinda callin' the kettle black thare Whirlibird."

<Autobot> Horsepower says, "More importantly. Hey Torque, which block of medical y'all in?"

<Autobot> Whirl says, "I'm not sure I follow?"

<Autobot> Torque says, "C13, over on the right"

<Autobot> Whirl says, "ANYWAY all I'm trying to say is MAYBE you should stop giving him the attention he craves. I would start by destroying any gifts he's given you, including that.. cat thing."

<Autobot> Horsepower says, "Oh, an a boquete of -arms- is okay?"

<Autobot> Whirl says, "I don't see how those are related in any way."

Hell of a manicure is right, considering she needs nearly completely new hands. The only upside is that the little bugs didn't get too far into the inner workings, leaving the base structure intact. Which leads to why she's still sitting in Iacon's hospital, awaiting Horsepower's arrival to help fix her up since she can barely even hold a tablet pen with the skinny digits, the idle tap of them against the metal bench she sits on echoing through the more quiet ward.

But he shows up soon enough, antennas flicking up in attention as she looks up, greeting Hoss with a large smile. "Was wondering when you'd get here. Didn't get lost, did yah?" She chuckles softly. This place was way bigger than the smaller medbay have at Metroplex, that's for sure.

<Autobot> Torque says, "Okay first of all, /he/ bothers /me/. Not the other way around. And I'm not getting rid of the cat."

<Autobot> Whirl sighs. "Looks like I'll have to take matters into my own hands."

<Autobot> Whirl can be heard cocking a shotgun.

<Autobot> Torque says, "...Don't you /dare/ make me come over there. Don't. You. Dare."

<Autobot> Whirl says, "Or what?"

<Autobot> Whirl says, "I'm just looking out for you, Torque dear."

<Autobot> Whirl says, "Have you ever considered that cat thing is actually a spy? Perhaps there are cameras inside of it, watching your every move. Day and night."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Watching you from the ceiling."

<Autobot> Torque says, "Yeah. No. Just stay away from my cat and my things."

<Autobot> Torque says, "I'm serious about this."

<Autobot> Horsepower says, "Cameras. Right. At least stop bein' hypocritical, Whirl."

Fire Department Lambourghini Countach <Red Alert> rolls into the General Hospital, in alt form for some reason, carefully pulling up to Horsepower and Torque. <<Torque, there are some.. questions I need to ask about your most recent encounter with the 'bugs'.>> he emits, headlights flashing in unison while he talks. He pauses, listening to the idle radio chatter before continuing. <<After your repair, of course.>>

<Autobot> Whirl says, "Don't you get it? That's what makes me such an expert on this subject!"

<Autobot> Whirl says, "I know all the sneaky tricks, all the perfect places to plant cameras."

<Autobot> Whirl says, "He's probably watching you right now!"

<<Oh blasted chassis..>> Red Alert grumbles aloud before transforming.

Faster than you can say 'Richard Nixon', Red Alert flips up into his robot mode.

<Autobot> Red Alert has encrypted this channel.

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Are you all daft?"

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Maybe?"

<Autobot> Whirl says, "Perhaps?"

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Don't you know they're ALWAYS listening??"

Horsepower rolls his optics at the radio, muttering "Of course ya wouldn't..." under his breath. But his demeanor brightens again when he finds the right room. "Nah, not lost, just... bigger than accustomed to, that's all." Truth be told, that's why he took to setting up a seperate shop. He didn't like not having everything right in easy reach. It almos made training refugees easier, without having all the hustle and bustle of Iacon Central going on around them.

With a grunt he pushes a cart over with his foot and sets the trunk down on top of it, then turns one of the side handles before letting go. The trunk splits open in several places and unfolds, effectivelly 'transforming' into a smaller version of his portable workstation, designed for smaller intricate work. "Not a problem, Rahd, this shouldn't take t'much longer."

<Autobot> Whirl says, "Okay, see, Red Alert knows what I'm talking about."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "I hope they heard THAT conversation. Being Soundwave can't be fun sometimes."

<Autobot> Whirl says, "Red, please tell Torque why she shouldn't accept gifts from Decepticons."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Because they could be secret bombs that explode into flesh-eating nanomites."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Or secret listening devices."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Or facsimilies that will learn your traits over time and replace you within the faction."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Or Galvatron in disguise."

"Well, glad you made it. You're one of the few I trust to rebuild these things." Torque smirks, flexing skeletal fingers. "A medic is nothing without their hands, so I know you'll do a good job. Besides, you have me specs." Leaning forward like a woman at the nail salon she sets her hands upon the workstation, just relaxing now and letting him get to work.

Should she really be surprised Red would wanna speak to her? Probably not, but she still give him a curious look as he rolls on up in his altmode, offering a light smile and nodding. "Sure thing, Red. I can talk now though, if you don't wanna wait. Not like I'm going anywhere. Oh, and dunno if you're interested or not, but I sent whatever bugs we could salvage to the labs. Just saying."

<Autobot> Torque says, "I.. don't think that'll be an issue, Red"

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "No one ever thinks it'll be an issue, until you have a threat level seven inside confined Autobot territory."

"Oh, the altmode? Yeah, I've got this sneaking suspicion that our energon converters slowly poison us unless we spend equal time in altmode. I've filed a report on my findings, check file number BW one nine nine six." Red Alert rambles off non-chalantly. Walking over towards them, the Security Director takes a seat and waits patiently.

"Well, explain what you left out of the report.." he questions, casting a weary glare around the room.

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Shoot, I've been inside Autobot territory for months and it hasn't been an issue yet."

Someone must be following Red Alert.. suspiciously, because he folds down into his Lambourghini Countach Fire Department vehicle looking to book it!!

Combat: Fire Department Lambourghini Countach <Red Alert> initiates a radar sweep of the area.

You say, "Whew.."

Faster than you can say 'Richard Nixon', Red Alert flips up into his robot mode.

"Good thin' too," Horsepower replies with a smile. "Made it easier to start prefab'ing components soon as Ah heard." He picks up a magnifying visor from one of the workstation's storage compartments and pulls it onto his head over his optics. "Looks like most ya internal structure is in place still though, but still gonna take a new set of tactile sensors and such. On the bright side, means ya already mostly numb an we ain't gotta wait for that." Thus he sits down on a stool and gets to work. "Good thin' Ah work equal time in bot and truck mode then." Sometimes its easier to just humor Red Alert than try to point out how silly some of his theories are.

"I.... right." Torque begins, but quickly stiffles her arguement, not about to start something with one of the most paranoid mechs in the faction. Mouth purses in thought and gaze turns down to watch Hoss work, the femme giving a soft 'hmm' before speaking. "Well.. I pretty much covered everything in the report, but wellll..." Should she even say it? Might as well, since it seemed the right thing to do in her mind. "I ended up giving Backfire a quick patch before leaving, and sent out a broadcast for the Cons to pick him up."

She mentally prepares herself for the backlash, but tries to justify her actions before, or after, he speaks, "I know it's not the most conventional thing, but I would've felt guilty leaving him there to probably die, no matter who he was or what faction he was in..." Whatever hand Hoss isn't working on yet pulls back to rub the back of her neck.

"Wait, how did you find out?" Red Alert averts his attention to Horsepower for a moment, wondering how he knew so early. Shaking the thought aside, he addresses Torque again.

"Oh, I see. Well, between you and me.. you did more good than harm. That mech isn't easy to kill, and if anything, you've created a potential rat in their camp for us to exploit." he smiles, running a scanner over her frame.. just in case there were still bugs inside her. "Unless of course they thought we'd think that and sent him as a potential double spy."

Combat: Red Alert takes extra time to aim his next attack.

"... My alt mode is a towing rig, Rahd. It's -part of my job-." The last part is slightly emphasized, but Horsepower is paying most of his attention to working on reinstalling and recalibrating new tactile controls and micro-actuators in one of Torque's hands. It's a very intricate and important process on someone whom has to be equally capable to handle small parts with care -and- uppercut a Decepticon across the bar.

That went... way better than expected, actually. Torque eyes Red Alert with a quirk of her brow curiously at the lack of freaking out, but hey, she's not complaining. "Maybe, though I doubt it. He may be hard to kill, but he's also not all that.. smart." Hell, Grimlock could likely outwit him. "I actually don't even know if he has a proper processor. Didn't see anything when I was fixing him."

Thankfully she's been scoured over for Insecticlones since coming here, so the scan comes up clean. "Mmf.. easy.." She cycles in a soft breath that hisses through her dental plates, fingers twitching at the sudden sensation of feeling once more after Horsepower calibrates them, the femme biting lower lip a little. "I always hate when I'm the one getting fixed." She puffs softly, shifting in her seat in minor agitation. "It really is true what they say about doctors making the worst patients."

"Well, I'm satisfied with the preliminary questioning.. Torque. However, I will retain your help in any further matter relating to these 'bugs'." Red Alert chuffs out, giving Horsepower a disdainful look.

Likely story.

"Do you know who has been appointed chief sciencel officer to check over the insecticlone corpses?"

Horsepower pauses for a moment when Torque twiddles her fingers in response to the returning feeling. Chuckles a little. "It's true. We can have all the patience in the galaxy for the damaged, but when -we're- the one sittin' on the lift waitin'... Gimme yer other hand to work on while yer internals diagnostics resyncronize the first hand's fine servo controls, and then we'll get ya properly sealed up again.

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Red Alert! I made a terrifying discovery!!! YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!"

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "..."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Are you sure? I am fully capable of believing in things."

<Autobot> Horsepower sighs, "Uh boy."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Your rank is only one and you have access to all of our secure communications and encryption algorithms! THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!"

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "There ya go!"

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Oh, well.. I guess it's time for me to 'come clean'."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Wait, am I going to have to demote you already?"

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "I've been under cover as a private in our Intelligence division, to make sure we didn't have any spies."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Oh, damn! Well, your cover is officially blown!"

<Autobot> Horsepower says, ".. Funny 'nuff, that's the most logical thing he's said all day."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Well, it ran its course."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "I am happy to report that almost seventeen percent of our division have passed the preliminary background and ethics tests."

<Autobot> Whirl says, "That's better than I thought it would be."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Oh, man, I know I've failed at least one of those tests."

<Autobot> Air Raid says, "YES!"

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Well, I factored in your scores Repugnus.. but then I had to factor in you acting in a manner fully knowing I'd be factoring and.."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "I think I blew a diode."

<Autobot> Horsepower says, "Sounds 'bout right."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "I've retired so many psychiatrists that way!"

"Uhhh.. good question." Torque looks to Red Alert with an apologetic little smile, shoulders rising and falling in a small shrug. "I don't really check in with those guys as much as I should, unfortunately. May have to go digging for that info, I'm afraid. 'Course that's no trouble for you." She panders to his better, less crazy side. Can Red even take a compliment?

Looking back to Horsepower she nods, switching hands and slumping against the workbench, puffing a deep sigh. "If this is what it's like for all of 'em, I don't know how they put up with it... I mean, I haven't been allowed /one/ drink since I've been here!" She groans a little at this fact, forehead giving a tsoft thunk when it lowers to rest on the forearm above the hand not being worked on, Torque muffling out in desperation, "Please take me out after this or something. After going through.. that, I seriously need to drown it outta my memory banks for good."

<Autobot> Horsepower says, "Damn glad Ah'm a mechanic then."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Likely story, 'Horsepower'."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "If that's even your real name."

<Autobot> Grapple says, "Repugnus has willingly seen psychiatrists?"

<Autobot> Elita One says, "Ordered to by Ultra Magnus, actually"

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Of course! I just wanted to see what they came up with! According to them, I am diagnosed as being "insane.""

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "They throw that term around a lot."

<Autobot> Horsepower says, "... Dude, none of us use our real Cybertronian names 'cuz other races can't pronounce 'em."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "It's a term of *oppression!*"

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Psychiatrist is just another word for brain ninja."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "Yes, speak the truth, Red! Free your mind, don't be so shallow!"

Nodding along, Red Alert transforms into alt mode.. balancing his times of course, chugging for the exit. <<I'll make the appropriate follow-up, don't worry Torque.>>

Someone must be following Red Alert.. suspiciously, because he folds down into his Lambourghini Countach Fire Department vehicle looking to book it!!

Horsepower laughs a bit at that. "Once yer cleared to leave we'll just have to do somethin' bout that." Then hunchs back over the work station to repeat the process on Torque's other hand. "Take care, Rahd. Don't let that convertor poison ya now."

=
===================== Autobot =================================== Message: 3/121                    Posted        Author Insecticlone Encounter            Mon Mar 11    Torque --
 * Autobot Spinny*

Torque appears on screen, sitting in the medbay as medics tend to both her and Whirl. A few chewed plates are missing, and her hands look skeletal. She doesn't look happy.

"With Whirl escorting me this evening both of us were making our way back to Iacon before Backfire, of all mechs, intercepted us around the end of the Northern Highway. He appeared non-hostile at first, possibly wishing to talk, but things escalated until he and Whirl began fighting, which resulted in the loss of Whirl's optic and Backfire getting hit in the head..." She grimaces at this, as well as a tiny dead Insecticlone the nearby medic picks out from under a plate of armor.

"I assume the knock to his head caused it but.. Dear Primus, it just exploded with Insecticon clones.." Skeletal hand rubs over her mouth, trying to stiffle look of horror, but she continues. "They were everywhere.. crawling in where they could and just /eating/, ugh.. They even got inside Whirl's head, but I flushed them out with some LN2 spray (liquid nitrogen) and sent him into stasis before they did any serious damage to his brain." She sighs and rubs her face, looking down, "Anyway, if Logistics wants to take a look at what's left of the dead little glitches, by all means have at it. ..Torque out."

*Autobot Spinny*

=
=================================================================

=
===================== Autobot =================================== Message: 3/80                     Posted        Author RE: Insecticlone Encounter        Tue Mar 12    Red Alert --
 * TEXT ONLY REPORT*

From the desk of Red Alert, Security Director

Subject: Insecticlone Encounter Location: Northern Highway, Cybertron Operatives: Whirl, Torque

Report: After reviewing the details and interviewing Torque as to what transpired there, I am happy to report that I do not believe we are under an -immediate- threat of bug infestation or attack. Yet. Precautions have already been taken by myself, our entrances and exit stations have been outfitted with amplified scanning equipment as well as the latest weaponized forms of LN2 we could muster under such duress.

I will be awaiting the announcement of the Sciencel officer in charge of disecting the Insecticlone corpses, in the meantime I ask that everyone be on guard and ever vigiliant. You never know when the Decepticons could strike next


 * END REPORT*


 * ATTACHMENT FOR COMMAND OPTICS ONLY*

P.S. I would like Horsepower's full military service record sent to my office, thank you.


 * REAL END OF REPORT*

Torque peeks up from her spot against her arm, propping her head up on her chin to watch Red switch modes yet again and head on out, the femme snorting softly and seeing him out with a waggle of digits. "Sure thing, Red. You know where to find me." And that just leaves her and Horsepower, whom she glances back to. "Good. Cause it was seriously a nightmare. Ugh, they were just everywhere." Armor plates shudder at the thought, Torque giving a disgusted look. "And they just.. just exploded! I've never seen something like that!" She shudders again, though a bit harder this time, and finally sits upright, shaking her head. "I mean, I've seen some things, lemme tell you. But this? No. Just no." She even lost her ration all over the highway it was so gross.

Horsepower doesn't want to stray too much attention from his work, so he just reachs over to pat the arm connected to the hand he's working on. "Thare, thare, it's all over now. Let's just not think 'bout Backfahre havin' a literal hive mind." After the little attempt at making light of the matter he shifts back to making tactile sensor and micro-actuator connections with a tiny fingertip soldering iron. "How's the other hand feel? Recalibrated okay? Figure once ya got actual fingertips ya'll make whatever personal finessin' ya need yerself."