2029 Olympics: Curling

Description: A curling match where the Decepticons make up their own rules.

August 17

Nepsa Curling Rink

Inside a picturesque ice haus, there is an ice sheet. Temperature controls keep this ice sheet nearly perfectly level, to tolerances that would make even Transformer engineers satisfied. The dimensions and coloured markings in the ice are laid out perfectly for astro-curling, the only sport that can won while one's team captain is off having an ener-lager with the blue femme.

Blueshift stalks out across the ice on the curling rink, and instantly falls over, swearing horribly. He then picks himself up again, staring at a piece of paper. "So we have to thow disks and SWEEP the ice? WHERE ARE THE SWEEPS! THIS IS WHAT THEY WERE BUILD FOR!" he screams

Brawl is like 'WOOP WOOP' and now he's a man-tank!

Onslaught stands at the perimeter of the curling rink, sweeping his optics back and forth across the rink, before he lifts up his head and trains his optics on Blueshift as the other falls to the ground. "I believe your vocoder unit needs adjustment, Blueshift." The Combaticon leader then takes slow even steps across the ice toward Blueshift.

Brawl had managed to take a single step out on the ice before falling on his tank-cannon-like back, arms and legs flailing like an overturned turtle as he slides slowly past Blueshift. His arms and legs make horrible clattering noises. "Aw, I hate this devil ice! Why can't they use some high-fangled technology to make some kinda thing for... for makin' me not fall?!" He hits a wall, and slowly slides back toward Blueshift, on a very gentle collision course.

Blueshift is hit by Brawl, dropping his broom which flies into the air and impales him in the optic. "OH PRIMUS NO!" he screams, sliding about as he gets to his feet, yanking out the broom with a horrible *POP*. "So where are the /Autofools?"

"... This doesn't look very promising," Magnus notes mildly as he approaches the arena, rotating either large hand with the clicking of metal. The power-armor-clad City Commander looks from Onslaught, to Blueshift, to Brawl. "All Decepticons, huh...?" he muses, gaze drifting back to Blueshift. "Well. At least there's one I don't have to worry about." That said, Magnus steps into the rink, arms crossing over his chest. "They're right here, Blueskirt."

Monstereo has a pair of torn away rubber tire treads strapped to his feet and steps out onto the ice with all the grace and poise of Miss Universe. And look! He brought his own broom! "Hello, ladies. Let's throw some rocks."

Onslaught simply shakes his head in answer as Blueshift damages himself and Brawl is sent spinning like an over engineered robo turtle across the ice. Still moving carefully he moves forward toward the other two, reaching out to seize Brawl's nearest arm, before slowly standing up to haul the over armored Combaticon to his feet. Midway through this operation he hears Magnus's voice and turns his head around to look back at the other before shaking his head and turning back to look at Brawl. "This is not our most dignified moment."

Raptor streaks threw the sky and notices some activity below. His violet optics flicker gently before he slowly comes down and hovers over the ground a bit with his Anti-gravs. He doesn't say anything yet, since he isn't really sure what is going on--

Brawl gets himself hauled up, and immediately stomps both feet, cracking up the ice around him. It's OK, he's nowhere near the actual lane, but this still causes some consternation. He reaches back to smack his cannon a few times, knocking frost off. Crash, crash, crash. "Dignity? Haw! I ain't gave a fat monkey about dignity fer at least four days now!" Giving himself a shake, and clashing his fists together, Brawl works up a good glare at Ultra Magnus, as well as he can with his visor-eyes. His right hand opens up toward Blueshift. "Hey, I think you grabbed one'a their rocks! Pass it here, I'll get it to 'em." Sure enough, the blue-handled curling stones of the Autobots are missing one?!

Blueshift looks at Magnus too and hefts the Autobot curling stone in his hand. "Yeah... we better give it back to the Autobots, wouldn't want them to get disadvantaged after all..." He passes the stone to Brawl, before slipping over again and slowly skidding down the lane

Monstereo shuffle-slides over to Blueshift and hauls him up by the seat of the pants. "Small steps. Watch my feet." Step-slide. Step-slide. Step-slide. "It's all in the hips."

Onslaught looks as if he is about to say something to Brawl but as Blueshift once again falls over and goes sliding he turns to look toward Magnus and gesturing toward the newly recumbant Decepticon. "Evidently Blueshift is volunteering to be the rock."

Raptor watches the events and snerks softly as he at last touches down. "So-- what are you guys up too?" Raptor asked as he moved across some of the ice with ease, since really, for him-- it felt like moving on the air-- expect it was ice!

"... hrm." If Magnus could squint, he would; instead, his optics just sort of flicker in some sort of squinting facsimile, directed at the flailing Blueshift and his cohort. "... Right. Thank you. Where'd you say you found this, then?" The Autobot XO extends a hand, to take the rock from Brawl, considering it with mild suspicion. But -- it's pushed to the side for the moment, as Onslaught speaks. "He'd do good in the role," the City Commander notes wryly, permitting himself a small smile.

Brawl takes the blue stone in a mighty hand, and then does something very alarming, reaching up and cramming it into the tank cannon over his head. "I'll get this right to ya', with Decepticon effishen, effuh, what'stheword, ease!" Legs rotate, arms lock in, and a few other crazy things happen, the end result being that Brawl has transformed into his tank mode! His voice sounds very insincere, "Oh no, this ice makes it so hard to aim this, I sure hope I don't shoot it too hard!"

So, of course, he fires very hard, directly at Magnus's left knee. It's OK, it's a good solid stone, it can probably take it.

Brawl is like 'WOOP WOOP' and now he's a tank, man!

Brawl misses Ultra Magnus with his Curling Cannon attack.

At the very moment that Brawl shoots the disk, something terrible goes off in Blueshift's head and he is on his feet with his broom, racing after the flying disk, uselessly sweeping the ice beneath it, heading straight for Magnus if he's not looking where he's going. "I've got it, I've got it!" he shouts Blueshift misses Ultra Magnus with his ram attack.

Onslaught is just about to engage further witty repartee with Ultra Magnus but doesn't have the time as he notices Brawl stuffing the rock into his barrel before transforming and aiming toward Ultra Magnus. The Combaticon Commander reaches out to seize the upper half of Brawl's barrel to turn it away from the Autobot leader.

Onslaught succeeds in grasping Brawl, throwing him off-balance.

Raptor watches the attacks and just stares, "...You decepticons have like a death wise for attack him.. seriously." The autobot flyer states jabbing a thumb at Magnus.

Blueshift skids past Magnus and into a wall. "WHAT?" He shouts at Raptor as he peels the wall off his face. "What's a death wise?" He starts to clump up to his fellows again, pulling on a wooly hat. "Okay, who's throwing our rock?"

Monstereo watches Blueshift take off like a diarhea out of hell. "Now see here, that's not good sportsmanship."

"I-- what in the world?!" Magnus suddenly exclaims as Brawl transforms. When the stone is launched, the City Commander suddenly sweeps downwards and away, the rock falling into a waiting hand instead of a waiting knee. "-- is that your idea of passing a ball?" The question is posed the moment that Blueshift suddenly shoots forward, moving forward -just- barely enough to get out of the way.

"... ... awfully clumsy there..." the Autobot XO begins slowly, looking from Brawl to Blueshift. "... but thanks for the stone." Could he simply be passing it all off as a happy accident?! Ultra Magnus doesn't seem intent on thinking on it much, gripping his stone as he looks towards the rink. "... Alright. If we're all set?"

Raptor chuckles, "A death wish-- is actually when you wanna be slagged." He smirks and crosses his arms over his chest, "Learn some human culture-- never mind, you decepticons don't have the processors to handle it." this said with a smile and a touch of dry humor.

After Brawl shoots, his fellow Combaticon goes and INTERFERES with violence, grabbing his barrel and giving him a good spin. The momentum rolls the tank over on its side, and the Decepticon flails around after unfolding back to robot mode, laboriously - and cacophonously - getting back to his feet. He frowns at Onslaught, though with a face like that, he might not be capable of any other expression.

The spaceship flips up into the handsome form of Blueshift

Brawl is like 'WOOP WOOP' and now he's a man-tank!

Monstereo twirls his broom and steps out into starting position for a sweeper. "Ready Freddy."

Blueshift rubs his hands together as the scoreboard flashes up with the symbol for TEAM DECEPTICON. "Right guys!" he shouts, hefting the Decepticon rock. "I'll throw the stone, you guys use the magic brooms to get it to the target!" He steps back, then takes a run-up, but at the last moment slips, the rock tumbling out of his grip and into the air. And then it curves down towards the Autobots....

Blueshift strikes Ultra Magnus with Curling Stone.

Raptor watches the stone and optics go wide, "Magnus, sir!" but as he gets ready to warn-- to late..

"..look out.." Cringes, "..for the stone?" Raptor hehes softly and places his hand on his hip, "..so.. is this sport about throwing the rocks at your opponent-- or getting it down the ice?" Thumb pointing behind him at the scoring zone.

Monstereo ahems. "That's a 20 point penelty against the Decepticon team."

Blueshift skims down the ice again on his back as Monstereo calls that out. "Is that... good?" he moans

Onslaught looks Brawl dead on, looming tall above his aggressive subordinate, before pointing at him sternly. "This is an athletic contest, Brawl, and weapons fire is not required."

Monstereo points the handle of his broom at Blueshift. "It means if it happens again we get to jam these broom handles up your aft... all of them."

... and smashes right into Ultra Magnus' left knee. "Gnh--!" The City Commander growls out as the stone impacts with a cracking shatter, splinters of hard earth shooting off from the impact. It bursts the weaker armor of Magnus' joint, energon sparking about chaotically as the XO stumbles and falls towards the ground. "Ugh!" The Autobot XO glares at Blueshift as he attempts to pull himself up... but his knee gives out, causing him to fall to one knee. "Damn -- my knee is completely shot..."

Monstereo shuffle-slides over to Ultra Magnus. "Let the MC Junk Doc take a look."

Blueshift gets to his feet, looking to see where his puck ends up. It has bounced into the stalls. "AHA BEAT THAT!" he shouts, shaking a fist at the Autobots, then whispering to Brawl. "Magnus' knee is very fragile, we better make sure he doesn't hurt it any more..."

Brawl... completely ignores Onslaught, as at that time, he has to sweep! He must sweep! He's never held a broom in his life, but by God he has this handled. Bellowing a challenge to the ice gods, Brawl pulls a collapsible broom from somewhere nebulous, snapping it to full extension, and he starts flailing at the ice as the stone passes above it. "I'm doin' it! I'm doin' it!" After the stone bounces off Magnus, he sweeps his way back, taking great relish in the act.

Blueshift leans in toward him. The only sign that Brawl has listened is a single nod.

Raptor slides over to Magnus and places his hand on his shoulder, "Sir, you gonna be alright?" Sadly, Raptor was a soldier-- not a medic, though he really outa learn a few things just in case he has to work on himself out in no man's land.

Offering a nod to Monstereo, Magnus just grits his teeth, looking towards Blueshift. "Thank you, Monstereo -- and I'll be fine, Raptor. It's probably just Decepticon tricks. Though, with that one, you never really know." The Autobot XO remains on one knee for now, waiting for some rudimentary repairs so that he can begin his own part of the competition.

Blueshift picks up the next puck, hefting it in his hand before throwing it down the ice in a perfectly straight line.

Unfortunately, it isn't actually an official curling stone, but is, in fact, Magnus's left kneecap!

Monstereo crouches to work some magic. He cracks his knuckles and gets to work.

You (Monstereo) jury-rig Ultra Magnus for 15 endurance.

"Thank you, Monstereo. I think that will -- hey, wait." Ultra Magnus stops short, looking down at his knee. Something is off. "Where is the kneeca--" Magnus' answer comes in the form of Blueshift suddenly hurling a piece of shiny metal across the curling rink; Ultra Magnus' mouth opens before his eyes narrow, lifting partially from the ground. "You! Stop throwing that around, that's not a stone--!"

Raptor rubs the back of his neck gently and glares at the Decepticons, "..I don't think they have any clue, expect for maybe him." Motioning to Onslaught. He then looks to Ultra Magnus once more, "Can I--" Then takes note of what Blueshift threw, his optics narrowed and like a snap, his anti-gravs kicked on and he snatched the peice of metal then hovered there, "This," He motioned it to Bluestreak, "Is not a curling stone!"

Raptor then hovered back over to Magnus and handed it to him, "Can I help?"

Brawl dives forward again, sweeping furiously. "Onslaught, you shiny purple cow pie, get up here an' start sweepin'!" Ice flies from the front of Brawl's broom like the mist falling from an ancient glacier, such is his fervor for his task. His bristles dance across the ice like a million pirouetting ballerinas. "Hoooyeaaaaaaaahhhh!"

Raptor grabs the kneecap. Brawl continues to sweep, rubbing vigorously at Raptor's wrist.

Brawl says, "It ain't goin' forward! I can't make it go forward!"

A broom shoots from Blueshift's wrist and he runs after Raptor, trying to sweep the Autobot too. "Hey, he's touching our stone, is he allowed to do that?"

Raptor succeeds in grasping Brawl, throwing him off-balance.

Monstereo turns to look over his shoulder, narrowing his optics at the Deceptiantics. The Junkion spits in his hands, rubs them together, and then grabs two curling stones, one in each hand. The Junkion rises and starts to go into a spin, raising and lowering the hefty rocks. He then uleashes one towards Blueshift.

F-35B Lightning II  pokes her head into the curling rink, ever on her quest to discover truth, and... okay. She's usually on a quest to cause violence. Truth is a new and infrequent development. Recent developments have really turned everything upsidedown.

Red Spacecraft struts his way into the space curling rink, fashionably late. "Ok ok, just ONE more photograph, I have more events to win..." He says so some annoying alien poparazzi, while posing with his best winning, charismatic smile. "Now scram!" He adds, making his way over towards his Decepticon compatriots, already deep into the universe's most epic game of space curling EVER. Now, there's only one thing stopping Redshift from brutally crushing the opposition... He has no idea how to play the game.

The Broom comes and he is trying to be swept-- what the slag? Raptor growls and kicks on his anti-gravs and thrusts right in Brawl's face, "Back off!" Then blasts away, with the knee cap, "You guys are like morons-- seriously! This ain't a stone!"

F-35B Lightning II transforms into robot form. Catechism's feet unfold, her arms unfold out of her body, her nosecone rotates through her body and ends up on her body, and her wings rotate into position at her hips.

You (Monstereo) strike Blueshift with Curling Your World One Stone At A Time.

The sleek red spacecraft transforms into the winged warrior Redshift.

Monstereo's stone hits Blueshift, the Decepticon is smashed away, as the cruel Autobot curling stone bowls him off his feet as it rockets down the rink. As Monstereo's is the only one that has actually gone in the right direction, the Autobot/Junkion team is winning by default. Blueshift meanwhile is smashed onto his aft, his broom flying from his hand as it launches into the air, and then tumbles down in the direction of (yes) Magnus!

Blueshift strikes Ultra Magnus with Broom To The Eye.

Blades has arrived.

Another unhappy accident is what hits Ultra Magnus right in the eye in the form of a sizeable broom. If it was anywhere else, it wouldn't have mattered; but the impact against Magnus' optic is enough to crack the more fragile materials that compose it, bringing the City Commander to lurched backward and grip a hand to his face, his eye flickering with power as optic sensory information goes dark in that particular eye. "Ergh --!! Damn it all!" Ultra Magnus is only restrained by the peace treaty as he grits his teeth, considering. "Damn Decepticons. ... I'm going to have to go on like this."

Brawl gets pushed away from Raptor, which isn't a very big deal. However, Blueshift has fallen over, and Brawl has an important duty to fulfill. "SWWEEEEEPPPPIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!" He runs across the ice (he sure has gotten the hang of it), and skids to a halt near Blueshift. He starts to sweep away at the ice as he slides, carefully curving his intended path back toward the scoring zone. Of course, someone of his size may not move quite as intended, and may in fact keep sliding past it. "More rock means more point, I reckon!"

Catechism grabs a broom! She holds it like a bo staff momentarily, and then she totally loses her stance and falls over the ice. Catechism squawks, "What in the name of Straxus's axe?"

Raptor grunts gently as he watches how this unfolds and looks over to Monstereo, "..can't we just say by Default the autobot n Junkion team wins?"

Blades is standing off to the side, arms crossed, bitter look on his face. What are they doing? Are they sweeping the ice? Is that a rock? What is this? He ponders the possibilities for a few moments before posing his question in the most polite way possible, "What the /hell/ are you guys doing?"

Redshift grabs one of the conviniently available space curling brooms, choosing one with killer spoilers and turbochargers. and bling rims! "OK, Autobots, you're going DOWN!" As soon as Redshift figures out how to play. He still looks fairly lost as the game thus far appears to be some kind of primitive gladiator combat fought on ice.

Monstereo narrows his optics as Magnus takes one to the optic and then turns to Raptor. "We could do that, yes. That's two penelties against them..." He glances to Ultra Magnus as he still holds one remaining stone up.

As he slides across the ice, Blueshift takes out his blaster and starts to shoot laser bolts at the stone that Monstereo threw, the pinging bolts ricocheting everywhere, slowly moving the stone away from his target. "Yesss!" he hisses. "REDSHIFT THROW ANOTHER STONE!" He is still slowly sliding down the lane as Brawl sweeps

Raptor places his hands on his hips and shakes his head, "This is like bad, cruel, joke. No wonder the decepticons haven't won-- They are surrounded by idiots." He says this as Blueshift is being brushed down the ice by Brawl behind him.

Brawl was born to sweep. In another world, he would be a curling God. The Bo Jackson of the broom. The Wayne Gretzy of the stone. The Michael Phelps of having a toned athletic structure. The Bo Jackson of hitting other stones. He directs Blueshift like a man forged with destiny, sliding him onto the scoring lane.

"FOR DECEPTICON VICTORYYYYYY!" Brawl roars out, pulling the broom up and letting Blueshift coast forward. He slams the broom into his face, shattering it, and starts breaking the remaining bits over his knee, certain that he has already won. How could he not?!

Catechism gets up to her fee, and she does something that probably isn't entirely fair play. She hovers a milimeter above the ice, so that it looks as if she is just skating. Catechism, knowing nothign of curling, hefts her broom and tries to skate off to loom behind Raptor. He totally needs a burly conehead looming over his shoulder.

Blueshift curves in a circle as Brawl sweeps in front of him, sweeping the errant Decepticon slowly towards Magnus as he speeds up, faster and faster, like a helpless blue tortoise. "Have I won yet?" he shouts, as he hurtles once more in the direction of the Autobot XO

Oh, well that bit of direction is proving to be quite helpful. Redshift saunters over to the stones like he owns the place, and carefully lifts one of the hefty objects. Looks kinda like Cosmos. Redshift glances down the icy lane, narrowing his optics. The time to curl... Is NOW! Redshift HEEEEEAVES the stone back, then swings it forward, sending it sliding down to where Blueshift and Brawl are sweeping.

Blueshift strikes Ultra Magnus with ram.

Raptor notices the shadow behind him looming over him, "Huh?" He then slowly turns around and looks, "AHH!" Yea-- femme cone-heads were creepy to the autobot 'seeker'. "Crazy lady!" He then jumps back and hovers there in mid air, placing two index fingers together to create a cross, "Back evil! I will not be conformed to this insanity that is you decepticons!" This is where he was glad-- he was built for the autobots.

Redshift strikes Blueshift with Mighty HEEEEEEAVE.

Monstereo loses his grip on the heavy stone and accidentally drops his other stone on Blueshifts head. "Another penelty. You're 40 points down, Smurf."

You (Monstereo) strike Blueshift with Stoner.

 Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "The decepticons are /Insane/!"

"Uh, okay, well, you guys have fun. I'm..I'm just going to watch," Blades scoffs. Like hell he was going to bust his ass on ice.

 Blades says, "What the hell are you guys doing, anyway?"

 Monstereo says, "Curling, eh."

As a note of interest, curling is the olympic sport which has most fatalities year on year. This is because no planet has ever fielded a team which knows the rules. In fact, no-one knows the rules, not even the officials. An alien just saw some Canadians with brooms one day, and thought it seemed like a good idea.

It does not seem like a good idea to Blueshift, when he gets a stone in his head, and a stone crashing into his side, as he rotates slowly on the ice, grinding shards of his shattered frame onto the ground

 Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "This is suppose to be Curling-- apparently The Decepticons have like-- no clue what the slag they are doing, Ultra Magnus is has been smacked with a broom and a stone, and I had a cone-head looming over my shoulder!"

Catechism waves her broom up at the Autobot homme, and she attempts to play up the intimidation factor. Perhaps all the times that she has pretended to be Dirge will serve her well. In a somber, morbid voice, she intones, "You will need more than that cold little cross to banish me, Autobot!"

 Monstereo says, "You tell that Conehead you don't want to tapdance."

 Blades says, "It looks like it would be fun, if it wasn't for the ice."

Magnus is about ready to pull himself back onto his feet, standing up straight and proud -- when he suddenly sees Blueshift rocketing towards him. With one eye impaired, he doesn't see it nearly soon enough -- a glimpse of Blue is all he ca see before the blue-colored Decepticon is suddenly ramming into him. He hits Magnus knee /again/ and, with it now already injured, the entire thing -explodes- at where the kneecap was, his leg falling off entirely. His working eye narrows. Slowly, he falls towards the ground. And then-- "Wait, don't do that, you'll activate the--" Magnus strikes the ground. His missiles flash as they come online. And then they fire point-blank, right at Blueshift. An accident? It certainly seems that way... except for the fact that Magnus is smiling wryly. "The triggers on that are kind of sensitive. Sorry."

 Red Alert taps a few keys. "Gimme a moment, guys. I can get something for you."

 Grimlock says, "Hit them Septi-cons with ROCKS."

Ultra Magnus strikes Blueshift with missile.

 Red Alert says, "Ah...here we go."

Red and blue pieces of Ultra Magnus' carrier enwrap around him, transforming into his massive power armor mode.

 Monstereo says, "Grimlock, I could kiss you."

Raptor avoids the broom side to side in swift moves, "Go away, shoo shoo- crazy femme! I don't wanna broom with you!"

 Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock not kisser! Me KING!"

 Blades says, "Keep telling yourself that, big guy."

Catechism succeeds in grasping Raptor, throwing him off-balance.

 Monstereo says, "Elvis was King and he was a kisser?"

 Red Alert says, "It's a combination of Bowling and Archery guys. The rocks, as they call them are what you use to get points."

Brawl flings the splinters of broom over his shoulder. "40 points down?! 40 POINTS DOWN?!" His fists clench up, and begin to shake, visor widening. Then--- "WHOOOOO! Lowest score wins!" Brawl's victory theme - horribly discordant bluegrass played at high volumes - begins to blare from somewhere within him, and he starts to high-step on out of the arena, pumping his fists, armor rattling and scraping. The effect is like a tornado of volume. "Lowest score wins! Decepticons forever WOOOYEAH!"

 Red Alert says, "The bullseye at the far end of the alley is your target. If you get it inside of the target, you get points.  the closer you get it to the bulleye, the more points you get."

<Autobot> Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "Red Alert, the issues isn't us not knowing-- Its the decepticons!"

<Autobot> Monstereo says, "I don't think the Deceptcons wanna hear that, Red Alert old boy."

<Autobot> Blades says, "Well, it looks like everyone is just smacking the sludge out of eachother with brooms."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "of course, getting it in the bulleye is one thing...you can always strategize to BLOCK your opponent's attempt to get it in the bulleye."

Blueshift is hit at close range by the missile, body parts flying everywhere. One of his arms flies through the air, palm outstretched towards Brawl, with the potential of a grisly high-five

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "the brooms have an ulterior motive. you're not supposed to wing the rock to the other end since hitting the opposing edge of where you are...is a foul...and you lose points."

Brawl totally high-fives Blueshift's flying disembodied arm.

<Autobot> Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "Apparently-- they like being negative fourty..."

<Autobot> Blades says, "I take it back. This sounds like a stupid game."

Catechism suddenly lunges up, and she grabs Raptor. Her expression is almost entirely deranged, a grin wide enough to fit on a shark's snout. A zombie robot shark. With a hollow voice like wind over gravestones, she suggests, "Ah, but you could leave, you know, little homme. I was summoned here, and I will not be despelled by your foolish words."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "the brooms are there....to wipe away the friction as the rock slides down the alley. the less friction, the farther the rock slides.  the more friction....well you get the point."

<Autobot> City Commander Ultra Magnus says, "Nnh. Good timing, anyway. My leg is completely shot, now."

"HEY! Nobody gets to missile Blueshift but ME!" Redshift shouts indignantly, brandishing his broom at Ultra Magnus as if it were a lethal weapon. Redshift grabs another curling stone, and this time he sticks a grenade on top of it while no one's looking. "Hey, Magnus! CATCH!" Redshift slides the curling stone down the ice, complete with it's immiment explosion.

Redshift strikes Ultra Magnus with Explosive Curling Stone.

Raptor misses Catechism with his grasp attack.

<Autobot> Blades says, "Stupid game."

Raptor goes to try and break away, but fails as her grip is rather tight. He nervously laughs as he hovers there, "Ya know-- you make a great vampiress.." He says with a sheepish smile, his violet optics flicker for a moment, "..but-- eheh.. what do you plan to gain by grapping me huh? You guys are already like-- Negatrive Fourty points in the hole."

"Its okay, its okay!" Blueshift staggers to his feet, looking like the walking dead as he slips and slides about the ice, large sections of his armour flaking away. He picks up a broom and jams it into his empty arm socket, waving at Redshift with his broom-arm. He then starts to sweep a part of the ice where no-one is, for no reason. "We WIIIIIN!" he cries. "SWEEEEP!"

<Autobot> Dee-Kal says, "I hear your opinion... a game is only stupid if you do not give it a chance."

"What the--" Magnus gives a surprised stare towards Redshift as he finds a curling stone suddenly flinging at him at high speeds. The City Commander would like to get out of the way, but -- he's had one leg completely severed from the knee down, he's not going anywhere. The stone strikes him in the head, the subsequent explosion completely shooting his vision to hell and knocking the City Commander's head backwards. He does not look happy. "Now that... was /not/... an accident."

Monstereo coughs. "Negative 60 now... aimming for the wrong end of the rink three times... Ahem yes sorry, decepticons... you've lost... I think this is uh... a little out of hand now... yes... um... muther?"

The scoreboard seems to be a negative counter, as the score on the Decepticon's side seems to ding down lower with every second that passes

<Autobot> Dee-Kal says, "It may seem trivial, but... perhaps you can put your own... 'spin' on it, Blade-sama?"

<Autobot> Monstereo says, "We should have wore pads."

Catechism stares balefully at Raptor, and taking a page from Ramjet, she decrees, "You fool! We are playing SPACE curling. It's like golf. The lower the score, the better. I know that your puny Autobot avionics cannot grasp such complex ideas, but there it is." Of course, she is lying, but she has a lot of bravado and bluster.

<Autobot> First Aid says, "Blades, from what I am gathering-- The Decepticons are not even playing the game correctly."

<Autobot> Intel XO Impulse says, "Sounds like the game is pretty much in the bag."

Brawl just leaves the arena right out. He is now raising the roof, while continuing to bellow, "LOWEST SCORE WIIIINNNNSSSSSSSSSS!" Clearly the Decepticons have won, as whoever is loudest about winning has won.

<Autobot> Blurr says, "Ifthey'renotplayingthegamecorrectlythentheyareprobablyyou-know-what. Cheatingcheatingcheating!"

Raptor misses Catechism with his grasp attack.

<Autobot> Blades says, "That's fine with me."

<Autobot> Autobot 'Seeker' Raptor says, "more like trying to /kill/ us.. and this femme.. gives me the creeps."

<Autobot> Blades says, "Just punch her in the face and be done with it."

Raptor just stares at her, "Riiight-- whatever you say, crazy lady." He tries to get away again, his anti-gravs pushing him a tad bit higher, but it seems the femme cone-head just keeps pace. "Ya know-- I bet your /wonderful/ dancer too--"

<Autobot> Blades says, "Play it off as an accident."

Monstereo turns towards the camera. "Dear Canada.... On behalf of my unruly cousins, I formerly apologize for this persersion of this most noble of games."

<Autobot> First Aid says, "Blades--"

<Earth> Monstereo says, "Dear Canada.... On behalf of my unruly cousins, I formerly apologize for this persersion of this most noble of games."

<Autobot> Blades says, "I'm serious."

<Autobot> First Aid says, "And you also know its wrong."

<Autobot> Blades says, "This whole game is wrong."

<Autobot> Intel XO Impulse sighs quietly. "I suspect I know why this is happening."

<Autobot> First Aid says, "My point is-- Oh-- nevermind."

<Autobot> Blades says, "What's a little 'accident' to spice things up? Give yourself a little edge?"

Monstereo tries to help Ultra Magnus back up to get a look at his destroyed optics. "Easy there..."

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "Blades....don't start that talk."

<Autobot> Blades says, "All I'm saying, is that maybe, just maybe, it would help, okay?"

<Autobot> Red Alert says, "No."

Catechism is indeed able to keep pace with the little bootleg Seeker. She rather doubts that he could do the same with her in tenser circumstances. She chuckles and cracks her knuckles, remarking, "Oh, no. I don't dance. I had a friend who did. Little pastel guy. He's dead now."

<Autobot> Intel XO Impulse says, "Blades, that's the game they're playing. Let's not sink to their level."

<Autobot> Blades says, "Tch!"

Blueshift slides about, roaring his foot boosters into life... which melt the ice beneath him, causing him to fall into a deep hole. His terrible screams echo upwards for some time :(

An elderly Half-Nepsan Half-Yeti man riding an Ice Dragon rides out in the middle of the rink holding a trophy cup full of fried Ice Snakes. "THE JUDGES THEY TELL ME THAT THIS AWARD GOES TO WINNER OF THIS GAME." He points to Ultra Magnus, Raptor, and Monstereo each in turn. "YOU WEAKLINGS DON'T DESERVE IT I THINK BUT THEY SAY YOU HAVE MORE POINTS! HERE!" The old Yeti-Nepsan man hurls the cup down at Ultra Magnus' head.

<Autobot> Blades says, "Great, it's over. What a waste of my time."

Raptor smiles gently, "That is.. nice?" He tries to get away again, "Now come on-- Let me go huh? I'm sure I ain't your type anyhow."

Raptor misses Catechism with his grasp attack.

Catechism glowers at Raptor and hisses, "No. It's not nice. He's leaking dead!" Under her exhaust, she mutters, "Idiot Autobots. So insensitive. No respect for the dead."

Blades points an accusatory finger, "Hey Raptor! Stop flirting with the enemy! Games over! Let's go!"

Raptor optics dim, "..actually I do-- sense my Mentor is dead and taught me to be highly respective of those whom past because they are the ones who watch over those whom they care for." He cants his head, "So-- perhaps your friend-- is watching over you in some way." He tries to smile slightly-- he didn't realize Decepticon femmes could be so.. sensative. Maybe it was just a femme thing after all.

Monstereo gets a little fried Ice Snake on him while trying to help Ultra Magnus. "Ugh! Troll bogies..."

Catechism isn't sensitive. She's messing with an Autobot. However, Catechism snorts and puts a hand on her hip, insisting, "Oh sure, you're all polite about it now, after a reminder." Then, she shudders and makes a face. "Watching over me? I sure hope not! Decepticons are pretty big on this 'privacy' concept."

Raptor notes she left go and slowly hovers away. Really he would go-- but having a femme keeping pace is rather-- unnerving. "Then-- you best remind your friend of that, huh?" He laughs nervously before he looks over to Blades, then back at Catechism, "Now-- since you guys won-- yea.. hehe.. won.. I'll be taking off now-- See ya!" Then his thrusters slams on and he blasts straight up into the air, snow and ice melting under the intial heat.

Catechism grins slowly as Raptor flees like the cowardly little homme that he is. She rubs her hands together, and she mutters to herself, "One down."

Raptor moves west to the Nepsa Ice Fields.

Raptor has left.

2029 Olympics

Message: 37/51

Curling

Posted: Sun Aug 17

Author: Monstereo

Blueshift, Brawl and Onslaught vs Ultra Magnus, Raptor and Monstereo in a Curling match.... Results:
 * Ultra Magnus loses a leg and both optics.
 * Blueshift gets pummeled from every which direction and sinks through a melted hole.
 * Decepticons penalized 60 points. Brawl declares his own team the winners for having the lowest score.
 * Judges throw a trophy cup full of fried Ice Snakes at Ultra Magnus.
 * Catechism messes with Raptors head.
 * Redshift stands up for his brother.
 * Curling remains a galactic mystery.