There Is No "Sides" In Team

This is what happens when Sideswipe gets bored and doesn't have the bearings to pull pranks on mechs back up in the HQ. Not while Jazz is kind of dying and there's just been a lot of drama going on. He's insensitive and knows no boundaries but... Jazz is cool. So he ain't going to be all disrespectful. Now, if it were Mirage, that'd be a whole different story. Regardless, the Lamborghini Countach, since some other Lamborghinis feel the need to not be classics, in all of his epic redness is speeding through the trees and the trenches of the narrow roads, peeling out and generally attempting to make a nuisance of himself. After all, how else is he going to find trouble?

 Sideswipe says, "Aight. Well, I'm gonna' go find some trouble. Probs do somethin' really stupid, really heroic or really both. Don't wait up."

 Shiftlock says, "Y'know what."

 Shiftlock says, "That sounds good."

 Moonracer says, "Why don't you check up on those Marble Valley neutrals? It's been some time... they could use the help. We should really consider a permanent diplomat..."

 Shiftlock says, "Yeah, I should look in on that. I've been trying to help as much as I can."

 Sideswipe says, "Sounds lame."

 Sideswipe says, "But whatever."

 Shiftlock says, "Anything's better than doing nothing."

 Sideswipe says, "See if ya' can keep up, Shifty."

 Moonracer says, "Helping the citizens of Cybertron is not /lame/, Sideswipe!"

 Shiftlock says, "Ha! You know it."

 Sideswipe says, "I love it when ya' say my name like that. Do it again."

 Moonracer says, "And you wonder why Sunstreaker is more popular than you."

 Sideswipe says, "Frag you an' the Marble Whatever."

 Moonracer says, "They've been fragged. That's the problem. You should see about doing some /good/ for a change."

 Sideswipe says, "Pass."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "C'mon Sides, I'll race ya!"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Ask /Sunstreaker/."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Nnrrgh."

<Autobot> Moonracer says, "I wouldn't have to. He's probably out building a protoform orphanage or something as we speak."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Lame."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Uh... Yes..."

<Autobot> Moonracer says, "Stunted vocabulary. Check."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Oh, we got another racer?"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Sweet."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Yes, yes. Let's all bask in th' shinin' light of /Sunstreaker/ because he's sooooooooo good. Th' best this. Th' best that."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Frag off."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Sides."

<Autobot> Repugnus says, "...good luck with that!"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Don't be like that."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker laughs.

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Frag this. I got somethin' for you, th' Marble Nobodies an' Sunstreaker."

<Autobot> Sideswipe desynch.

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Siiiiiides. C'mon."

<Autobot> Moonracer says, "I didn't realize Transformers had teenage cycles."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "He's just stubborn."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "You're gonna' miss all the racin'."

<Autobot> Blaster | http://youtu.be/Gd9OhYroLN0

<Autobot> Moonracer says, "I'll say. You should probably talk to him sometime. Remind him why it is we do what we do."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Hnn."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "He don't listen ta' me."

Shiftlock is just happy to be out of Iacon. She can't take any more of Chromia and Punch's wetnursing. So she may have a life-threatening illness. Big deal. It's not like that's going to change her behavior. No, if anything, it's a convenient excuse to revel in it.

She's enjoying the touge course through the mountains, because the true test of any drift king is a mountain run. She's sliding through hairpin turns and dirt-dropping the edges of steep cliff faces - and she's loving every minute of it.

She keeps Sideswipe in her sights ahead, giving him some space, just in case he needs it.

<Autobot> Moonracer says, "Something for Elita to handle, then. I'll let her know."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "N'... No I got it."

<Autobot> Moonracer says, "That's what I thought."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Hi Sunstreaker!"

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "...Hello Shiftlock."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "How's the paint?"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Don't worry about Sides, I'm ghostin' him."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "It's positively gleaming!"

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Oh..."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Wish I could see it."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "AHAHA YEAH!"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Mountain touge!"

Any foolhardy Autobot I-hate-my-brother angst fest tirade of an escape/runaway scene would hardly be complete without the ubiquitously burly, bruising, war machine of a Decepticon to overcome, now would it?

On cue, Blitzwing traverses a sunset-laden Cybertronian sky, back again to unleash a third round of terrorism upon the neutrals of Marble Valley.

<Autobot> Shiftlock puts on a song. http://youtu.be/tzTLArp6L_c

<Autobot> Blaster says, "AWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH! I got like 32 remixes of this!"

<Autobot> Blaster sounds of dancing.

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Are you really going after him Shiftlock?"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I got his fine, fine bumper in my headlights."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Tell him I gotta' have a word with him when he gets back."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Sure thing--"

<Autobot> Moonracer mmhmmm!

Sideswipe is paying no attention to anything. He's not checking his rearview or anything like that. He's too busy skidding around this and that, making sure to actually crunch anything that looks like it belongs to a neutral underneath his tires. "Fraggin' Sunstreaker. Oh ya' so cool, Sunstreaker. How ya' get so shiny, Sunstreaker? Be more like Sunstreaker. Teehee!" Sideswipe kicks his accelerator up and skids around another corner, zooming off towards the Settlement, where there may or may not be drama of the rocket kind happening. It doesn't even matter. Sideswipe's pissed.

"... I gotcha' Sunstreaker right here, aftholes." VRRRRRRRM!

<Autobot> Shiftlock laughs.

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Ohhh, it's gonna be one o' them nights."

<Autobot> Blaster says, "DON'T STOP THE MUSIC!"

<Autobot> Blaster | http://youtu.be/F605UQZDhp8

<< Hey! Sides! >> Shiftlock is speeding up behind the red lambo. Her highbeams trace over his bumper juuust a moment. Yeah, gotta memorize that license plate. *cough* << Slow down mech! Mountain roads are nothin' to play around with! >>

MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> tips a wing and streaks across the ruined remnants of the settlement bellow, cackling along with the purposefully explosive flares of his afterburners to announce his arrival to the denizens below. "GUEEEESS WHOOOOOO'S BAAAAAACK! AHAHAHA!" Blitzwing doesn't even skip a beat, unleashing a torrential downpour of muntions all over, carpet bombing a huge swath of land beneath him in a single pass. The triple-changer swoops around for another similar pass...

Combat: MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> sets his defense level to Protected.

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "-- MOTHER. BOARD."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Get the unleaded out, Sides, we got a Con!"

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Aw slag, which."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Scrap, looks like it's Blitzwing, he's doing a bombing run!"

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "...Great."

<Autobot> Springer says, "You need aide, Shift?"

<Autobot> Moonracer says, "Jesus H. Prime. That guy will not rest until that settlement is obliterated!"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I think we got this."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I will let you know if we don't."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Time for a little music change, Blaster."

<Autobot> Shiftlock  | http://youtu.be/xzxd9d41Hhc

<<Th' frag? Th' frag ya' doin', Shiftlock?!>> Sideswipe actually spins himself around and drives backwards, flashing his headlights at her because that's the only thing he can really do at this point. It's kind of like yelling but with lights. Of course, this is the moment that the bombing happens and thus Sideswipe doesn't even see what goes down. It's not until he picks up on the radio channels (because he always turns them back on after he's desynch'd in angst because he's an attention whore) that there's a Con in the area does he wheel back around. And he immediately transforms, jet pack activating and sending him into the sky like some foolhardy Autobot!

"Shiftlock! Reverse! I got this son of a glitch!" And drawing from subspace is his trusty blaster pistol which gets fired in Blitzwing's general direction.

From Lamborghini Countach to Sideswipe in 6.8 seconds.

Here Comes Trouble.

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Sideswipe strikes MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> with his Dee-El .44 Heavy Blaster Pistol (Laser) attack!

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "No. /I/ got this. An' would ya' look at that, I dun need /Sunstreaker/ t' do it!"

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Oh for-!"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Now's not the time, Sides!"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Teamwork, TEAMWORK!"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Th' frag I need with a team. I'm me."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "NOT SUNSTREAKER!"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Oh you wanna play that game, huh?"

<Autobot> Moonracer says, "This is going to be a very painful lesson for you to learn, Sideswipe."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "FINE."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "NOBODY ASKED YOU, MOONRACER! GO SWAP FLUIDS WITH SUNNY! I'M BUSY!"

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "What the frag!"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "... All right, if Blitz doesn't kick his aft I will."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Savin' ya' precious Marbles!"

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "When you get back here I'ma' wrap you in that stupid futon and hurl it off the top floor!"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Who said anythin' 'bout comin' back?"

<Autobot> Sideswipe OMINOUS SILENCE AND LASER PISTOL SOUNDS.

<Autobot> Moonracer pauses to consider Sideswipe's suggestion?

Shiftlock would be grinning inside if it weren't for the whole SUDDENLY BLITZWING thing. << Ohhh no you don't, you're not going this alone! >> She protests as Sideswipe transforms and jetpacks over.

Jetpacks. That is so totally unfair.

She doesn't have one, but she DOES have boost turbines. She extends a set of stabilizer fins from beneath her chassis, and ramps off the mountain road, catching air and trying to glide down towards the village below. Hey, if Jazz can hang glide with his spoiler, surely SHE can too, right? RIGHT?

Combat: Shiftlock sets her defense level to Guarded.

Combat: You can only use this command while in combat.

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "OH NO YOU DON'T SIDESWIPE."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Being suicidally brave is MY job."

MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> nosecone shoots up like a shark's nose detecting blood in the water as his early warning systems blare out about the sudden escalation of Autobot presence in the area - huh! Those idiots must have finally gotten around to stationing a watch over this poor, broken neutral band. Blitzwing laughs! All this means to him is that he doesn't have to work as hard to get noticed. "Ah, Sideswipe!" Blitzwing calls out as the red one shifts forms and rockets up to meet him, chasing him with poorly aimed laser fire. The MiG rocks a little as retaliatory blasts lance his armor, but serve more to annoy him than anything. "So good to see you again. I was worried I wouldn't have the opportunity to finish what we started! So what parts of you do you want me to mail back to Sunstreaker? Hahaha!" With that, the triple-changer opens fire on the Autobot with a heavy chaingun, ripping everything in front him wide open.

Combat: MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> strikes Sideswipe with his Vulcan Battery (Laser) attack!

"Nothin'! Frag Sunstreaker!"

That's the response to Blitzwing as the chaingun rattles through him and puts some holes into his body and whatever else is nearby. Energon starts to leak but Sideswipe is not giving up this easy. Not at all. He swirls in his soaring and tries to fire off a couple of feinty shots to cover his sudden and inevitable foolhardy rushing towards the jet, holstering his Blaster Pistol and diving to see if he can't latch onto the damn thing.

"An' frag you too!" Maybe he may not be communicating well but if he can grab the BlitzJet maybe Shiftlock can get some hits in. IT IS WORTH A SHOT. A silent one. Because Sideswipe don't ask for help.

Combat: Sideswipe misses MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> with his JET JUDO (Grab) attack!

You receive a radio message from Sunstreaker: Please don't let him do anything stupid.

You send a radio message to Sunstreaker: He just tried to grab Blitzwing out of the air and missed. I think it's too late for that.

You receive a radio message from Sunstreaker: Glitchin'-!!

Shiftlock hits the ground hard, and rather than crash, she transforms on the roll. She's a whirl of moving copper, yellow and black parts that tuck and tumble out into the form of a fembot. Coming up to her feet in a leap, she unholsters the pistols at her side and takes aim at Blitzwing from the ground. She's got to draw his attention away from Sideswipe before the Lambro gets himself killed.

Tonight is a good night to die.

"HEY BLITZWING! What's wrong, you gotta shoot at unarmed natives 'cause you can't hit a REAL target?!" she taunts.

Combat: Shiftlock sets her defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Shiftlock misses MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> with her Spray-N-Pray attack!

You send a radio message to Sunstreaker: Hey, if I don't make it out of this - make sure Punch gets my medals, okay?

You receive a radio message from Sunstreaker: Girl, just watch my brother's aft! ...I'll give your damn medals to Punch.

You send a radio message to Sunstreaker: Oh I'm watching it. I'm trying to get Blitzwing to give ME a new ventilation system instead of him.

Every night is a good night to die. As long as Blitzwing is the executioner.

The MiG's elevons flare with a slap, and the entire jet rolls gracefully by the melee-bound Autobot with little fanfare about it. As Sideswipe passes by him harmlessly, Blitzwing uses the positioning of the airborne Lambro to evade Shiftlock's strikes, throttling his engines to maintain an adequate degree of impromptu cover, facilitated by Sideswipe's fleeting body. Once the laser rounds dissipate into the air, the triple-changer's big engines shudder with a shift, a heap of mass screaming in one direction and then being forced into another one altogther. Blitzwing loops around while Sideswipe looks on, coming out of his giant maneuver to spear right after Shiftlock, passing underneath the Lambro upside down. "Do you count as /real/ then, little girl? Ha ha ha."

Combat: MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> strikes Shiftlock with his Car. Meet Jet. (Ram) attack!

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "--HURK"

Sideswipe wasn't ready for Blitzwing to dodge. "How do they do that?!" His anger is only evident for a moment, before he's watching as the jet goes into some smash and ram motion with Shiftlock. And his optics go from wide to narrow in a split nanosecond. His anger bubbles up and almost over as he kicks up the boosters in his jetpack and takes off in the general direction of Blitzwing with one piledriving arm jack-hammering as he aims for the Wing of Blitz!

"You forgot your boardin' pass! Ja' feel?!"

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Sideswipe misses MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> with his Passenger 57! Wesley Sides! attack!

Shiftlock is slammed into with the force of a jet. Her torso is just not going to look the same, and some internal mechanism have been bent - possibly crushed. However --

She's grabbed onto Blitzwing's nosecone and is flying along with him!

"I counted as real last night when hung Blast Off from a bridge~" Shiftlock singsongs, grinning evilly. "Maybe I'll burn my name into *you too*." She doesn't have long to keep holding on Blitzwing as only the force of air pressure and interia is holding her, so she attempts to press both of her pistols to Blitzwing's nose and hit him point blank.

Combat: Shiftlock sets her defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Shiftlock strikes MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> with her Up Close And Personal attack!

<Autobot> Shiftlock cackles madly.

MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> shifts a series of panels lining the rear edging of his wingspan with practiced fluidity, and effortlessly equivocates another attempt by Sideswipe to dilute this little game into a boring back-and-forth of fisticuffs. "Nah.. Ja' don' 'feel'," Blitzwing grunts with disinterest. Instead, the triple-changer takes Shiftlock along for a ride. His wings shunt out to their full expanse, and with a tilt of metal the MiG rockets straight up into the sky like a space-bound shuttle. "Cute. But your think too small. I'm going to burn much more than my name into your hide! I'm going to burn FEAR into your SPARK! Ha!" Blitzwing reaches the upper reaches of the atmosphere, cresting there at an apex in zero-gravity before thundering back down to Cybertron. "You like waffles, Shiftlock? Ever try pancakes? It's a grain that the germs ingest for their morning meal. They have a saying, y'know - you are what you eat. Ha ha ha. So I turned a few of them into pancakes! Boy, that stuff took weeks to clean out of my gear train! Ha ha ha!" Blitzwing soon delivers the punch line to his sick joke, a blur of motion a scant handful of meters from the planet's surface, arriving there in his most bruising form with an Autobot for a hood ornament. *THOOOOM!*

Combat: Leopard 2A6M <Blitzwing> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Leopard 2A6M <Blitzwing> strikes Shiftlock with his Tank Overrun attack!

Sideswipe has a little bit of time while Blitzwing and Shiftlock are speed dating to death. Which gives him a moment to land himself on the ground and transforms back into his Lamborghini self. Not that he's quite sure of what, if anything, that is going to be able to do to a tank but he'll be damned if he just lets Blitzwing mechhandle her like that.

He's all revved up and tearing across the ground in a fit of speed as he goes to namesake the tank. Which will probably just piss him off or distract him. Whatever gets him away from Shiftlock and paying more attention to the one that was out here to get killed in the first place!

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Aggressive.

From Sideswipe to Lamborghini Countach in 6.8 seconds.

Ride or Die.

Combat: Lamborghini Countach <Sideswipe> strikes Leopard 2A6M <Blitzwing> with his Sideswipe. Get It? attack! [Pulled -2]

Combat: Critical Hit!

"Fear? DON'T KNOW IT!" Shiftlock shouts even as Blitzwing uses her as a tank-based impact cushion. Which, seriously, hurts. Like wow, even.

"This is great, this is GREAT!" she manages to snarl, trapped under Blitzwing's treads, her torso and hips being crushed almost to the point of leaving her shredded in half. Many, she spent WAY too much time around Whirl. Never let the new recruits hang out with the crazies.

Sideswipe slams into Blitz, and Shift is on the job. The grapple goes out, hitting some of the remaining village structures not too far away, and she pulls herself free from being pinned. Her mesh is absolutely ruined, and you can pretty much see her internal components now, some of which are just hanging on by wires. Energon is dribbling down her legs. "Awww, look at what you did," she wheezes among sick little giggles. "Now I gotta pay you back." She loads a secondary cartidge into the bottom of her gun, and fires shots full of needles towards Blitz's treads.

Combat: Shiftlock strikes Leopard 2A6M <Blitzwing> with her Flechette Rounds attack!

Combat: Critical Hit!

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I'mma need medics... when I get done. If I get back."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Shut up. If ya' die out here, they'll blame me. So guess who ain't lettin' that happen?"

Leopard 2A6M <Blitzwing> erupts into Marble Valley, cratering the insignificant (or extremely significant?) outpost for a second time. Before the dust can even settle, the triple-changer is set to grinding his rough-shod tank treads ever so slowly over Shiftlock's body. Lost in his morbid happiness, the tank is oblivious to the approaching Lamborghini - who up to this point has been nigh ineffectual, so could you entirely blame him? Blitzwing pays for his mismanagement of situational awareness, however, and the rigidly-built Autobot does manage to at least get his notice. Blitzwing shouts out after Sideswipe, chasing the autmobile with a quick salvo of tank rounds that puncture the landscape as they miss by mere meters. With his attention now pulled at the crimson car, Blitzwing suffers damages from a terrible explosion that blankets his ablative armor, the normally resilient plating sloughing away underneath that pointed onslaught. Blitzwing growls with growing frustration at this rag-tag tag-team, erupting into robot mode and vaulting over to Sideswipe, as the femme has put more distance between them than the Lambro. With a sinister sword crackling above his head, Blitzwing launches the buzzing blade across his opponent in a two-handed slash.

Combat: Blitzwing sets his defense level to Protected.

Combat: Blitzwing strikes Lamborghini Countach <Sideswipe> with his Electro-Scimitar attack!

Combat: Blitzwing's STUCK attack leaves him unable to transform!

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "You watch your own aft!"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, ".... I g-- argh... I got this."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "No you don't. WE got this!"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR A GRAMMAR LESSON"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "IT AIN'T GRAMMAR YOU DEAD BATTERY IT'S US WORKING TOGETHER MY PRIMUS HOW DENSE ARE YOU"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "WHATEVER"

<Autobot> Arcee says, "Guys, c'mon. Get it together."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I CAN POKE MY T-COG KINDA BUSY BOSS"

The Lambro gets sliced with electro-scimitardom and the only thing that comes from the Lambro is laughter. Even as a what will probably be a scar shows up across the hood of the vehicle. The brakes only slam on to allow the vehicle to twist and flip whilst transforming back into robot mode with epic speed and style. "Now? Now it's my turn."

And as the transformation sequence ends, Sideswipe is standing as close to Blitzwing as he possibly can, hoping that the Photon Rifle that he's drawn from subspace is close enough to disperse of some of this menace with the greatest of ease. "Time t' play, Shiftlock!" Yeah, okay, he's down for this teamwork stuff now. Bah. Pay no attention to the energon leaking out of his chest like crazy thanks to Blitzwing's sword of electro-death.

From Lamborghini Countach to Sideswipe in 6.8 seconds.

Here Comes Trouble.

Combat: Sideswipe misses Blitzwing with his Dodge This. attack! [Pulled -2]

You send a radio message to Sideswipe: Get ready to move!

Shiftlock radios ahead to Sideswipe. Flipping her pistols back into place she dashes foward, transforming with a horrible grinding sound and the unmistakable sound of a pained shriek. The engine of the speeder roars to life, turbines spinning up as she makes a mad dash towards Blitzwing, trying to return the favor he paid her earlier.

Shiftlock crouches and tumbles forward, twisting in the middle as her body compacts rapidly into the form of a Cybertronian Speeder.

Combat: Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> misses Blitzwing with her Under My Wheels (Ram) attack!

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Fffffffffffffffraaaaaaaag!"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Well. At least we can say we went out with a bang?"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock want know if her Shiftlock and him Sideswipe need help wid sumthing?"

<Autobot> Arcee says, "Surely if they did, they would...y'know, let us know?"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "I said I got this!"

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me not sure her Arcee am right. Her Shiftlock really stubborn and him Sideswipe not that smart. Me Grimlock think maybe ought go help."

Blitzwing proves too quick for either Autobot! Despite his large size, he is deceptively quick! He reacts to each Autobot in turn with malicious precision. To Sideswipe, Blitzwing wraps a giant hand around the barrel of the Lambro's photon rifle, pushing it away from him with determined strength. The triple-changer sheathes his electron sabre thereafter, waggling a finger ala Dikembe Mutombo at Sideswipe. "Uh-uh. My turn's not over yet." With a smile, Blitzwing then wrenches his waist about and *STOMPS!* on Shiftlock's hood, pinning her helplessly to the ground. "You guys ever hear of this concept called 'team work'? Lemme show you how it works." Blitzwing forces Sideswipe's barrel to pass over the femme held underfoot, then punching Sideswipe's trigger hand in the hand guard in order to cause the weapon to fire.

Combat: Blitzwing misses Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> with his Sideswipe's Photon Rifle attack!

You receive a radio message from Sideswipe: Cover ya' optics!

"Sorry, afthole. I don't have many friends." Sideswipe makes sure to keep that barrel from pointing too directly at Shiftlock. He's not that strong but the arm piledrives enough to try and keep it from firing too perfectly. "So I ain't tryin' t' shoot th' few I got!" And that's when Sideswipe kicks off Blitzwing a bit, igniting the jetpack and somersault soaring away from him just far enough to let his shoulder rocket fly, hurling a flare right in the general direction of his face!

Combat: Sideswipe strikes Blitzwing with his Magnesium Phosphorous Flares attack!

Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Blitzwing's Accuracy. (Blinded)

Shutting off her sensor relays, she waits for Sideswipe's signal. She has to trust him, because being blind right now is a really bad idea.

Trust pays off.

The moment she hears the impact, she can feel Blitzwing's weight change and she peels out, trying to get out from under the Decepticon. Shooting forward, she whips to the right to change directions. She revs her engine, energon puddling beneath her. She has to make this one count, because she's GIVING IT EVERYTHING!

Pedal to the metal.

Combat: Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock> misses Blitzwing with her Tactical Crash attack!

Blitzwing grunts as Sideswipe tests him, shifting the weapon between them at the last possible moment and thereby saving him from putting a dent into his girlfriend. The triple-changer growls, lashing out at after the Lambro as he goes airborne, but all he receives in return is is a bright flash of photons that scramble his HUD something fierce. "ARGH!" Blitzwing curses, stumbling as Shiftlock takes him at his moment of weakness and escapes from under his foot-less boot. Blitzwing claws at the air for a moment, operating on little more than sound until his vision clears again. Shaking his head to speed the process, Blitzwing trips, and just at the most providential of moments! As the triple-changer upends himself, Shiftlock soars harmlessly overhead. Stomping back up to his feet and still struggling to see straight, Blitzwing swings a blind punch. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!"

Combat: Blitzwing compares his Accuracy to Cybertronian Speeder <Shiftlock>'s Agility: Failure :(

Combat: Blitzwing compares his Accuracy to Sideswipe's Agility: Success!

Combat: Blitzwing strikes Sideswipe with his C'MERE! (Punch) attack!

See what showing off gets you, Sideswipe? Socked out of the air. Because in the midst of his soaring around with his jetpack, he comes into contact with Blitzwing's mighty fist and it knocks him for a loop and out of his comfort zone. He sails backwards and collides with some trees, knocking through them and dropping down into the brush to perhaps take a moment to try and regroup. Or he's out of the fight! One can never tell with a prankster like Sides.

Combat: Sideswipe sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Sideswipe takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

"Better mechs have tried and failed." Shiftlock transforms, shearing off transformation plates, her insides exposed even further. She bears through it. She steels herself that this may be it.

"You're right though. No more showing off." She shifts plates on her arm back into a grapple, and attempts to fire it at Blitzwing's neck. If it hits, she's going to try to choke off some vital fuel and ventilation lines.

Combat: Shiftlock misses Blitzwing with her Grapple Garrote (Disruptor) attack!

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Sides... Sides are you on this thing"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Ya' thinkin' we should make like a tree an' get outta' here?"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "We... we can't leave. There's people here...."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Sides... Just go."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Frag it. T' th' death, then."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Hey! HEY!"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Do not make me drive out you!"

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Nuh uh, get your scrappy afts outta' there."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock not far away, me headed that way when hear things going bad like."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Let's. Get. Dangerous."

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Ughhhh."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Keen gear."


 * CRASH!* An echo rings out across the settlement as Blitzwing's fist connects hard with Cybertronian alloys, and the triplechanger cackles at his unlikely success! Soon after his small victory, the static fuzzing across Blitzwing's HUD begins to subside, and the triple-changer watches with a sadistic smile plastered across his mug as Sideswipe is assaulted by wild flora. With the upstart brat being cowed for at least the moment, Blitzwing turns his full attention again to Shiftlock, stalking after her while drawing his scimitar into both hands. The weapon barks into ignition, and the triple-changer whips about him in hypnotizing fashion as he approaches. As the fembot launches her grappling hook at his neck, Blitzwing swipes his sword across his body and cuts the thing out of mid-air. "Finally, something we both agree upon! Ha ha ha." Blitzwing closes the distance by an explosion of his thruster-feet, and he comes down upon Shiftlock in a cruel two-handed impaling maneuver!

Combat: Blitzwing misses Shiftlock with his Electro-Scimitar attack!

Insert Transformation Sound.

Tearing out of the foliage and whatever else is in his way is none other than the Lamborghini version of Sideswipe. Speed is of the essence and there's even a chance for the 'Ghini to catch some air as it hits something of a ramp created by fallen this and broken animation that. Just, y'know, in case Blitzwing's thrusters keep him in the air a bit. Either way, that Lambro headed straight for Blitzwing with some serious speed and power and VELOCITY behind him. "Your car, sir."

From Sideswipe to Lamborghini Countach in 6.8 seconds.

Ride or Die.

Combat: Lamborghini Countach <Sideswipe> sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Lamborghini Countach <Sideswipe> strikes Blitzwing with his Kit Cloudkicker's School of Valet Knox attack!

Shiftlock waits until the very last minute, trying to buy time for Sideswipe to line up for the shot.... waiting... waiting...

Blitz charges and the sword flies towards her. She has to get this just right and she's tiring out -- She suddenly jerks to the side, the electro-scimitar smashing into the ground right next to her. The blow is so close it grazes off copper paint.

"Aww, you missed!" she singsongs. "Try again! o/`" She jumps backwards and out of the way so Sideswipe has plenty of clearance.

Combat: Shiftlock takes extra time to steady herself. [Pass]

Blitzwing's savage sword swipe digs no purchase into the femme, instead tearing into the ground until it buries itself to the hilt. The triple-changer growls in guttural barks as he attempts to wrench his blade from the ground, though before he can unsheathe his weapon and claim the crown of Camelot, Sideswipe erupts from the background to bowl him over with serious speed. Blitzwing grunts in pain as he collapses unceremoniously into the ground, rolling with pain and collecting a mess of dirt and leaking energon across his battered frame. With a thunderous howl, the triple-changer rises again to his feet, watching the Lambro speed off onto the horizon, leaving him again alone with the fembot. His sword lost to him, Blitzwing stamps after Shiftlock, cracking the knuckles of each digit in hand as he pounds after her. He lifts one giant fist, swinging it up over head before whipping it back down at her head. "Don't mind if I do!"

Combat: Blitzwing sets his defense level to Neutral.

Combat: Blitzwing misses Shiftlock with his One ah these days Shifty! POW! STRAIGHT TO THA MOON! (Punch) attack!

Here comes the Lambro again. This time coming back in this direction, since that is where all the fun is. He drops into a slow and cinematic spin, tires just sliding and skidding, as the trunk pops open and there be a small turret. It pops out shell after shell of ballistics in the general direction of Blitzwing, while there is nothing but slow motion happening and the vehicle just spins and spins, the mini-turret always managing to swivel just enough that the bullets continue to sail in the direction of Blitzwing, but not really dead aimed.

But then? They curve. Hell, a couple of them even curve around Shiftlock for extra style points.

Combat: Lamborghini Countach <Sideswipe> strikes Blitzwing with his Wanted (Pistol) attack!

Shiftlock ducks down in time for the fist to go sailing past and Blitzwing to get hit with bullets. She remains where she is right now because Blitz is swinging at her and Sides is bringing the pain. They may have to switch it up soon but so far... it's working.

"Nah nah nah, you're comin' at it too wide!" she teases Blitz. Her hand shoots up and whiffs past Blitzwing's face as if she were going to grab it, but she never actually touches him - it's just distraction.

She holds her fist up with the tip of her thumb sticking out from between the curled fingers of her fist. "Got your nose!"

Combat: Shiftlock takes extra time to steady herself. [Pass]

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "...What's going on."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Her Shiftlock and him Sideswipe have party with Deceptibums but not invite others to play."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Curvin' Bullets. Can /you/ do that?"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I'm playin' got your nose with Blitzwing, Grimmy."

Blitzwing grimaces as he comes under fire, lifting his thickly plated arm and shoulder reflexively as Sideswipe peppers his frame with the turret. The triple-changer wastes no effort in continuing his prosecution of Shiftlock, now that real weapons are back in play, allowing her to live for a scant few more cycles until her inevitable termination by his hand. Blitzwing quite appropriately tanks the rounds, perhaps an unnerving sight to the Autobots, and stalks slowly and methodically back over to the Lamborghini doing donuts a short distance away. Wordlessly, he lifts another giant arm, thrusting the appendage down into Sideswipe's engine block. "I'm putting you in time out, kiddo."

Combat: Blitzwing sets his defense level to Guarded.

Combat: Blitzwing strikes Lamborghini Countach <Sideswipe> with his Nose Go Put Your Nose In The Corner! (Punch) attack!

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "But me Grimlock can rip him Blitzwing nose off for real"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Right, but if you do it, then I won't learn how."

<Autobot> Grimlock says, "Me Grimlock good teacher! Go real slow and explain step by step for her Shiftlock!"

Smashed Front End. That is exactly what happens to Sideswipe at this very moment because he wasn't even ready for that attack. He was too busy trying to show off. "Switch!" is all that's called out to Shiftlock in the midst of the 'Ghini pulling into reverse and trying to put some space between himself and the Blitzwing. "Ya' still hit like a glitch!" Of course, that's kind of hard to make sound true considering the fact that his hood looks like it might as well not even be there. Hell, it's barely there. He's driving around with a Grand Canyon hood. And not even moving as fast as he normally would, but at least he's being just a bit cautious with it. As long as Blitz stays focused on him.

Combat: Lamborghini Countach <Sideswipe> takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]

Shift pulls out the guns again. "How's that joke go again? My dog has no nose? How does he smell? Right." Standing her ground, legs trembling as she forces herself to keep on her feet, she takes a sharp vent of cold air and does her level best to nail Blitzwing in the back.

Combat: Shiftlock sets her defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Shiftlock strikes Blitzwing with her Hey I Still Have Your Nose Dammit attack!

Combat: Critical Hit!

Blitzwing's fist sinks into Sideswipe's hood with a satisfying *crunch*, and the triple-changer manages a sickening chuckle. "That'll remind you where you stand the next time you want to mess around in the heavyweight class, kiddo." Before Blitzwing can further pursue the Lambro, however, the tank barrel slung upon his backside explodes as Shiftlock's pistol rounds erupt into it, taking one of his most fearsome weapon systems offline. The triple-changer wheels around in slow, staggered drags of his thruster-feet, scowling over Shiftlock in turn. Having the two Autobots on either side of him is poor tactical placement, and he doesn't quite have the juice left to pit the two of them back against one another. Lifting his chin, Blitzwing withdraws his scimitar, using it to draw an 'X' in the broken steel of the Marble Valley settlement. "If you bring Rend back here, I will return. And I will murder him on this. Very. SPOT." Blitzwing jabs that 'X' for emphasis. "Fair warning. His blood will be on /your/ hands." Then.... he is gone.

Combat: MiG-25PD Foxbat-E <Blitzwing> begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.

<Autobot> Shiftlock laughs weakly. "... sides... sides we did it..."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Like I said. I got this."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "... mech your hood looks like an ash tray."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "I know it got ya' engine revvin', don't it?"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Come help me bang these dents out."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "My engine is gonna fraggin' fall *out*"

<Autobot> Sunstreaker says, "Sideswipe!"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "We can get you a bigger one."

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "... Are you sayin' I need a bigger block"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "I'mma bang your dents all right"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "WITH MY FOOT"

<Autobot> Sideswipe just revs his engine in response. Which sounds horrible cuz uh... broken.

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "Oh don't you even try that lambo engine with me"

<Autobot> Shiftlock says, "... not 'til it's fixed anyways."

<Autobot> Jazz grunts slightly, "Shoulda...been a...Porsche.." comes the crackly, mostly dead voice.

Shiftlock staggers over Sideswipe. "All right you. How bad is it?"

Lamborghini Countach <Sideswipe> revs his engine again and preps for some exiting. "Just a scratch." And then he's ready to zoom off towards the end credits of this episode. But not before his bumper falls off.

"OH SON OF A GLITCH!"