Mini-Metroplex Throws Down

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=================[ The Orion Pax ]===============================

The ship's training room, while not as big as Autobot City's, is made with the latest in holographic simulation technology. When inactive, the training room is a large, obsidian-plated room with soft illumination that seems to eminate from no single, definable source. On the wall near the entrance blast door is a computer terminal, allowing a user with appropriate access to active and run a holographic scenario, or program a new one on the fly. A metallic placard sits above the terminal. By the shapes of the letters, the message "THESE FACILITIES ARE INTENDED FOR AUTOBOT TRAINING EXERCISES. ALL UNAUTHORIZED RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY, INCLUDING SO-CALLED 'ROLE-PLAY', IS FORBIDDEN," can still be read. However, for some reason it's been covered over in black magic marker of some sort.

Contents: Skydive Autobot City  Mr. Drone

Autobot City  is in his city mode. In the training room. It's a relatively strange thing to see, but. . . he's tiny right now. He really is. About the size of Jazz or Skydive in a form that used to be able to hold most of the active Autobots at one go. And. . he's just taken a blast from Skydive. It impacts across his dorsal armor and burns a rather large and ugly gash everywhere it hits. "Armor effectiveness reduced." He comments. He still has not transformed yet, though one of the foot-tall drones drops to one knee to take aim at Skydive. Scamper's electro-blasters are almost comical in size, but nonetheless, two sparks of electric blue energy streak out towards Skydive!

'' Combat: Autobot City  strikes Skydive with its Tiny Pew Pew attack! ''

''Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Skydive's Accuracy. (Blinded) ''

Skydive standing more in awe than anything doesn't even attempt to dodge and *smack* like that he falls backwards a skids just a touch. He reaches for his optics and grunts. "That scrambled my optic sensors," he reports. "But If my memory serves me well, you are going any where," and he fires again from his gun.

''Combat: Skydive strikes Autobot City  with his Laser attack! ''

Jazz strolls into the Orion Pax Training Room, looking about for the newest 7th wonder of the Autobot World. It takes only a micro-second for the Special Operations Commander to run his blue visor over Metroplex's smaller form. "Wow! I heard about slimmin' down like this on the TV. Did some woman named Jenny Craig help ya to get down to this size?!?"

As the laser fire starts to fill the room, Jazz ducks for cover as he beams a broad smile, "Now we're talkin'! I could use a little trainin' to get my fuel pump pumpin'!! Let's see if you can still throw down with the best of em' Metro-Man!"

Performing a few acrobatic tumbles, the Autobot rises up with his Solar-Powered Photon Rifle, taking a few low level shots at Metroplex. As Jazz lets a few shots go, he takes care not to aim at the Intelligence Office. Wouldn't want to mess up his Guns 'N Roses posters on the wall.

''Combat: Jazz sets his defense level to Protected. ''

''Combat: Jazz strikes Autobot City  with his Solar-Powered Photon Rifle  (Disruptor) attack! ''

Autobot City  takes a laser blast from Skydive. "Your belief is correct." There is a rather nasty looking crater where he's now been shot twice by the aerialbot. "Beginning transformation." He is in mid-sequence when Jazz's disruptor shot strikes virgin plating, leaving a line of small craters that glow orange and then fade away into grayness. After the long transformation sequence is complete, various turrets appear with various 'tiny' guns coming out on them. One of these turrets moves to point towards Jazz.

vreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeNEEEEEEEEEEEEOW!!!!

This is the sound of a rare anti-matter weapon cutting loose and blasting a black of pinkish lightning towards the Intelligence Officer that seeks to break down his atomic bonds on a molecular level.

"Defense adequate." States Metroplex. "Beginning offense."

Through speakers all assigned around Autobot City a klaxon siren begins to sound as Metroplex's booming voice says, "Stand Clear. Engaging Battle Station mode. Please stand back."

Blast shields begin to fall down over vulnerable windows, towers unfold like flowers revealing gun turrets and plasma blasters. And wheeled treads begin to unfold beneath the base of the Metroplex component of Autobot City. After a minute of shifting and changing, Metroplex has become a giant, city sized battlestation.

''Combat: Autobot City Battlestation strikes Jazz with its Hot Pink Destruction attack! [Pulled -1] ''

Skydive glances as the lastest attack goes towards Jazz. "Welcome Commander," then he charges Metroplex, "I've always wanted to do this," he cocks back a fist and swings hard...

''Combat: Skydive strikes Autobot City Battlestation with his Punch attack! ''

Quicker than another failed sitcom being yanked off NBC, Jazz is enveloped by Metroplex's pink lightning. "Yoooow!! Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy outside!!" winces the Autobot as parts of his armor are literally burned off his frame.

It's a good thing this is only a training room or Jazz would be toast right about now.

Instead, the cool-headed robot darts for the battlestation, "Good to see ya too Skydive! Let's play Tom and Jerry with our pal here!" And with that, Jazz leaps for one of the turrets, and tries to use his momentum to swing the weapon back at the base itself. With Metroplex in a smaller form, it's certainly easier to pull off.

"Yo Metroplex! Right back at ya!"

''Combat: Jazz strikes Autobot City Battlestation with his Metroplex vs Metroplex (Laser) attack! ''

With a solid metallic clanking sound, Skydive's fist impacts against the cityformer's armored hull; leaving a Skydive-Fist shaped dent behind. And then he is shot by his own turret as Jazz succeeds in his acrobatic move. As he often does when he is fighting, Metroplex has gone into serious business mode and his comments are short and clipped.

"Situation: Unfair. Jazz has performed . . a dirty move! Initiating . . DIRTIER MOVE!"

Suddenly, the turret that Jazz is clinging to is withdrawn into Metroplex's armored hide and another one pops into place and attempts to shoot him with. . a giant rainbow.

Speaking of which, Skydive gets the same treatment from another turret. Man, this is a new interpertation of 'taste the rainbow'

''Combat: Autobot City Battlestation misses Jazz with his Taste The Rainbow Area attack! ''

''Combat: Autobot City Battlestation strikes Skydive with his Taste The Rainbow Area attack! ''

''Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Skydive's Accuracy. (Blinded) ''

''Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Skydive's Agility. (Crippled) ''

Skydive is adversely affected, yet, there are no explosions or scratches or anything. he simply stumbles forward and bangs heavily into the battlestation.

''Combat: Skydive takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass] ''

While Jazz can enjoy a generous smattering of peace and love in the form of tie dyed shirts, this is a little different. For one, there's no strange plant odor in the air that's usually paired with the groovy colors. "No way Jose! You're not gettin' me with your groovy gun!"

Leaping backwards into the air from his position on Metroplex, Jazz drops down into his alternate form, activating his sound system immediately. "Let ME take you back to the 70's man. These are some trippin' jams! Take a listen!"

With that, the sounds of some weird transient Jimmy Hendrix riff lash out at Metroplex. For most, the sound would actually be pretty agreeable, but this song is TURNED WAY UP!


 * SSCCCCREEEECH* goes Jimmy's flaming guitar.

Break it down! With a flurry of sounds, Jazz drops down into a Porsche 935 Turbo.

''Combat: White Porsche 935  strikes Autobot City Battlestation with his 180db Stereo Speakers attack! [Pulled -2] ''

Autobot City Battlestation is banged into like an. . . well, we won't say that here. This episode is rated PG-13. He is banged into like a chevy at a demolition derby, but his armored hide seems to hold out under the strain well enough. He begins to transform again, emerging from the sequence into the powerful shape of his robot mode. Well, it was powerful once; back in the day. Now it's just kind of average. But at least he still has his striking good looks and his sexy visor to woo all of the lady cityformers with.

At that moment. .

CAUSE I'M A VOOODO CHILD VOODOO CHILD

LORD KNOWS I'M A VOODOO CHILD

HEY HEY HEY

I'M A VOODOO CHILD BABY

I DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER

The sheer force of the music sends Metroplex back a step and down to one knee. He's really not used to this. Slowly though, gathering himself he gets back to his feet and attempts to put Skydive between himself and Jazz. Of course, while doing this he attempts to punch the Aerialbot in the face for good measure, but. .

Metroplex shifts up into his robot mode.

Combat: Metroplex misses Skydive with his Punch attack!

Skydive gets his bearings about him just in time and looking at a fist aimed for his optics, they have been abused enough today, he dives and rolls to the side. But quikly leaps back at the Plex with a kick, "HI YA!"

''Combat: Skydive strikes Metroplex with his Aerial Fu! (Kick) attack!''

Content with rocking Metroplex's world, the White Porsche 935 roars its engine to life. A second later, the clutch pops and the race car is sent flying forward. "If you like that jam Metro-Man, you outta' check out my bar in New Orleans. Every Tuesday is Karaoke night and we could use someone with your pipes, ya dig?!"

While Jazz fires off another shameless plug for his fine establishment, he's also busy driving circles around the smaller-than-norm opponent. Firing up his light system, the Autobot suddenly turns into a DJ Light Show on CRACK.

"Once you get the beats goin', ya gotta get the lights to back it up. Look into the colors....you are gettin' verrrrry dizzzzzy.....verrrry dizzzzzy."

THE COLORS MAN, THE COLORS

''Combat: White Porsche 935  strikes Metroplex with his Full-Spectrum Light Show attack! ''

''Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Metroplex's Accuracy. (Blinded)''

Metroplex is jumped by Skydive, and blinded by Jazz. It would seem that things are not going so well for the cityformer in his new and much-smaller shape. Groping blindly and unable to see, he attempts to catch Skydive by the leg as he flies in and redirect his path into where he thinks Jazz is to be found. It's hard to say exactly where that is, given the mess of colors that wash across his vision.

"Offensive status . . inadequate." He states. "Re-routing power circuits to upgrade." Wonder what that means?

''Combat: Metroplex strikes White Porsche 935  with his Skydive meet Jazz and get to know each other. Area attack! [Pulled -5] ''

''Combat: Metroplex strikes Skydive with his Skydive meet Jazz and get to know each other. Area attack! [Pulled -5] ''

Skydive thinks better about his Aerial Fu when Mets grabs his legs and sends him sprawling towards the pretty darn loud and easy to locate Jazz driving around in circles.

Skydive's back, meet Jazz's windshield. *CRASH*

''Combat: Skydive takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]''


 * CLANK*

And just like that, Jazz becomes the victim of another Autobot pedestrian attack. "Next time I'm gonna have to give ya a ticket for jaywalkin' Skydive!"

Coming to a stop, the White Porsche 935 does a quick analysis of its condition. Jazz's computer intones back through a light dashboard, <>

Perceptor had done a pretty good job of giving Jazz's computer the perfect personality.

Popping back up into his robot form, Jazz pulls out his Solar-Powered Photon Rifle again and takes aim. "I'm diggin' this trainin' Metro-Man! Keep up the good work! We're gonna be sendin' Galvatron home cryin' in no time the way we're improvin' in here!"

Get on up! The Porsche 935 Turbo explodes upward into Jazz, Autobot Rock Star!

Combat: Jazz strikes Metroplex with his Solar-Powered Photon Rifle attack!

"OFFENSIVE UPGRADE IN PROGRESS. CONTINUING TO RE-ROUTE POWER TO PRIMARY WEAPONS. RE-ROUTE COMPLETE IN FIFTY STANDARD MICROCYCLES."

Metroplex backs away from Jazz and Skydive after his attack is successful and 'covers up' like a boxer, taking Jazz's return fire on his heavily-armored forearms. The photon rifle sends darts of energy riccocheting off of the renforced metal in all directions, gouging divots and burning holes. Metroplex is damaged though, far more than a simple engagement would normally have caused. Combined attacks have left him with mildly smouldering craters and nasty looking wounds.

The dull metallic buzz of something charging is heard.

"RE-ROUTE COMPLETE. PRIMARY WEAPONS ONLINE. INITIATING OVERCOMPENSATION."

He drops down into his battlestation mode as his main MASER cannon comes up, taking aim at Skydive and letting go a hellish blast of pure white microwave energy. Through speakers all assigned around Autobot City a klaxon siren begins to sound as Metroplex's booming voice says, "Stand Clear. Engaging Battle Station mode. Please stand back."

Blast shields begin to fall down over vulnerable windows, towers unfold like flowers revealing gun turrets and plasma blasters. And wheeled treads begin to unfold beneath the base of the Metroplex component of Autobot City. After a minute of shifting and changing, Metroplex has become a giant, city sized battlestation.

''Combat: Autobot City Battlestation strikes Skydive with his MASER Cannon attack! ''

Combat: Skydive falls to the ground, unconscious.

Skydive falls off of the hood of Jazz and begins to slowly pick himself up just as his head raises the Cannon of Cannons simply engulfs his frame. Armor cracks and chips fly in every direction and even his vocal processors freeze, so no scream of pain. He simply just falls backwards..

Jazz can only watch as Skydive is sent into Training Room KO-Land, "Down goes Skydive! Down goes Skydive! This is like Ali versus Frazier or something!"

Performing a tight cartwheel, Jazz continues to flip himself in the air and out of the way of the powerful MASER cannon. For now, he wasn't collateral damage.

From subspace, a shoulder-mounted device appears on the frame of the Special Operations Commander. Moving his blue visor in the direction of Metroplex, Jazz locks in on the source of the recent attack. "Time to fight fire with fire! Ya dig?!?"


 * WHOOSH* goes the incendiary missile as it streaks towards the still-smoking cannon.

''Combat: Jazz strikes Autobot City Battlestation with his This Missile's For You...And Skydive! attack! [Pulled -2]''

Jazz is packin' heat, that much is certainly true. The MASER cannon steams gently in the wake of such a powerful shot, the barrel super-heated and glowing in the after effect. Though it is already charging, it will be some time before it is capable of making another volley like the last one. Slowly, the battlestation comes about to train another weapon on the Intelligence Officer when he executes his neat little maneuver and the missile goes streaking the way of Metroplex.

Through sheer and utter luck, or perhaps Jazz's own dumb skill, the warhead ducks inbetween the ravaged armor plates that Skydive's initial attacks opened up and with a solid *KRUNK* detonates inside of Metroplex's frame. The attack is far more devestating than a mere blow at the MASER cannon. A gout of fire and electricity rolls out of the open hole, as half of the battlestation's turrets go silent. A low grade fire seems to be spreading throughout the impact site.

Metroplex is silent for a moment. . though sensors will read that he's still in the fight.

''Combat: Autobot City Battlestation takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]''

If fighting a mini-sized battle station hasn't become comical yet, it should be just about now.

As Metroplex starts to sizzle from the incendiary missile, Jazz is awaiting another powerful blast from the MASER cannon. Any second now, the proverbial cane will yank him off the stage. Another second passes.

And then another.

"What's the matter Metro-Man?! Cat got your palate piece?!" emits the Autobot as he creeps toward the eerily-quite foe. Activating his sensors for a short burst, Jazz still detects an energon reading, albeit a smaller-than-normal one.

Deciding to take advantage of the extra time, Jazz picks up one of the smaller cannons that's been blasted off Metroplex. Swinging it back and forth like a baseball bat, the Autobot draws back and takes a few good cracks at the battle station.

"I always wanted to get a pinata to smash! Let's see what ya got inside pal! Ya better still have my Guns 'N Roses posters in the same place!"

Combat: Jazz strikes Autobot City Battlestation with his Pinata Bash (Punch) attack!


 * BONK*

That is the sound that whacking a battlestation with a gun barrel makes. Slowly, almost weakly. . Metroplex begins to transform. useless turrets are drawn down into his body and hidden, locked under panels as the cityformer returns to his actual city mode while Jazz continues to whack at him. And there is no reply from Metroplex.

Silence.

BONK.

BONK.

BONK.

BONK.

Nothing. It is at this point, that Jazz will feel a little taptap on his calf, and if he turns around, he'll see the foot tall shape of Six-Gun. One of Metroplexes Standard-Autobot-Size-If-Metroplex-Was-Full-Size drones.

Sixgun wavewaves and then?

Yep, you guessed it....

Metroplex says, "Stand Clear. Engaging Autobot city mode. please stand back." and then transforms into a large city.

Combat: Autobot City  strikes Jazz with his Dear God that is a lot of guns in a little drone attack!

Wow! Who knew Six-Gun /could/ pack that much of a punch! Skydive's certainly missing all the fun, but maybe he's busy playing chess with Optimus Prime somewhere with puffy clouds all around.

Jazz is flung backwards and to the Training Room floor from the bevy of blasts from Metroplex's henchman. "Yo man! If knew I was in for this much pain, I woulda' popped a few pills for the hangover my systems are gonna have tomorrow!"

Taking a moment to compose himself, Jazz picks himself up off the floor with an assortment of scorch marks covering his battered frame. Staring at Six-Gun, the Autobot gets another ingenious idea.

Jazz's internal computer chimes in, <>

The Special Operations Commander rubs his chin as he nods in agreeance with the plan. In an instant, Jazz makes a grab for Six-Gun and attempts to send the mini-henchman crashing into Metroplex.

"Metro-Man! Hope ya don't mind me returnin' to sendah'!"

Combat: Jazz strikes Autobot City  with his Six-Gun Crashes The Party attack!

Through speakers all assigned around Autobot City a klaxon siren begins to sound as Metroplex's booming voice says, "Stand Clear. Engaging Battle Station mode. Please stand back."

Blast shields begin to fall down over vulnerable windows, towers unfold like flowers revealing gun turrets and plasma blasters. And wheeled treads begin to unfold beneath the base of the Metroplex component of Autobot City. After a minute of shifting and changing, Metroplex has become a giant, city sized battlestation.

And so, Metroplex's little ruse succeeded. Jazz is caught unaware by Six-Gun's approach and the little (now at least) drone lets him have it in good style. With his bevy of weapon barrels smoking, the little guy is not quite quick enough to counter Jazz's actions and he is sent crashing through a wall of armor plating and somewhere into Metroplex's internals.

Slowly then, the battlestation reconfigures into. . the battlestation and the main MASER cannon turret rotates to face Jazz and the true purpose of the ruse is revealed. Cerulean blue electricity crackles through the barrel as the charge finishes. . gleaming steel pointed straight towards the Intelligence Commander.

Metroplex is certainly hurting, but he's got enough in him for at least one more good one. Through the smoke and steam billowing around him, blue energy gathers around the cannon to create a lens-flare like visual effect on the the barre and then?

FREEYOW!

 Combat: Autobot City Battlestation strikes Jazz with his White-Hot Electric Death attack!

Whatever Benjamin Franklin, a kite, and a lightning storm had going. This was worse.

MUCH worse.

Jazz is completely engulfed in a bath of white energy. For an instant, you think he's been teleported to that chess game in the sky with Optimus Prime and Skydive.

But wait.

As the white energy disappears, Jazz's crumpled form is revealed. "Ugghh...talk about getting beamed up Scotty...I can..hardl...yyy....moo..vvvveee.." emits the Autobot as he speaks with a steady stream of energon seeping from his mouth.

In a normal situation, this would be the time for Jazz to make his great escape, but in the Training Room, there was a different philosophy. "I..gottt..aaa..goooo...big...orrrr..go...hooo...mmmmeee."

Barely being able to transform into his vehicular form, the Autobot decides to go out in a blaze of rock show glory. Cue the Rocky music. Cue Jazz's upcoming demise.

Break it down! With a flurry of sounds, Jazz drops down into a Porsche 935 Turbo.

''Combat: White Porsche 935  sets his defense level to Fearless. ''

''Combat: White Porsche 935  strikes Autobot City Battlestation with his Sound and Light Show attack! ''

''Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Autobot City Battlestation's Agility. (Crippled)''

Autobot City Battlestation is leaking smoke and fire. Jazz is leaking energon. This has come down to being quite the epic slap fest. Truth be told, Metroplex is actually rather impressed that Jazz is still moving after he MASERs him. Most targets, Skydive for example, tend to drop and not move in the face of such firepower. But Jazz is toughter than Metroplex remembers. The problem is, as Jazz transforms and lets him have it. . he can't tell what is Jazz and what isn't.

Oh, look. Jazz is over there by Skydive's corpse. Oh, no, wait. Jazz is standing on top of his MASER turret wailin' some hot lixx and slappin' around a base guitar like some kind of funky priest. Oh, what? Jazz is over there with the entire rock band Parliment and is having a duet with Bootsy Collins.

It's. . . so confusing. But he's still moving. And also, Metroplex hates Bootsy Collins. . so one of his turrets comes online and swings around, an as-yet unused weapon. A little red dot appears and then suddenly an ultra high power laser fires, an incredibly tight beam focusing on an area the size of a penny. . burning through armor like tissue paper as it hits and probably going through whatever target it hits.

It'd better be Bootsy Collins.

''Combat: Autobot City Battlestation's Laser Lance attack on White Porsche 935 <Jazz> goes wild! ''

Combat: Autobot City Battlestation strikes himself with his Laser Lance attack!

Somewhere, the rock gods were smiling on Jazz and frowning on Bootsy Colllins. Maybe it was the bad name, but either way Parliament was now accepting applications for a new bassist.

How did Jazz fit into all this? Well, for one he was still on-line. For now.

Transforming back into his robot form, Jazz stares at Metroplex through half of his remaining visor. For those wondering, YES...he does have blue optics behind it. Although it really looks as awkward as seeing Stevie Wonder without his patented shades.

"I did...nnn'tt...heaaa..rrr...nooo...bellll!!" shouts the wrecked Autobot with another cough of energon.

Like a scene right out of Saving Private Ryan, Jazz withdraws his trusty Solar-Powered Photon Rifle as he lazily aims it at Metroplex.


 * PEW* goes the rifle and *PING* goes Metroplex.


 * PEW* goes the rifle and *PING* goes Metroplex.

Maybe the next shot would be the miracle shot?

Probably not, this isn't the movies.

Get on up! The Porsche 935 Turbo explodes upward into Jazz, Autobot Rock Star!

Combat: Jazz strikes Autobot City Battlestation with his Solar-Powered Photon Rifle attack!


 * ping*


 * ping*


 * ping*

Alas, Jazz is not the grizzled Sgt. at the end of Saving Private Ryan, firing at an oncoming panzer with a 9mm. It's close enough though. Slowly, ever so slowly, the battlestation turns to face Jazz. . and numerous small hatches open up. Obivously, Metroplex has chosen to end this one in style, for he is wreathed in smoke as a dozen tiny missiles go corkscrewing towards the Intelligence Commander even as the other's rifle gouges diviots in his armor.

''Combat: Autobot City Battlestation strikes Jazz with his Guided Missile Launcher attack! ''

Combat: Jazz falls to the ground, unconscious.

Metroplex shifts up into his robot mode.

And when the smoke clears, it will reveal Metroplex standing in his robot mode; his mighty (though small) right hand held out towards Jazz in the offering of a handshake.

And there he was in all his glory. The mighty Optimus Prime battling Skydive in a rousing game of chess!

Peering down at the puffy clouds around him, Jazz doesn't know how he got here, but he figures Metroplex had something to do it. Looking back towards the game at hand, the Autobot grasps for his blue visor, noticing all his damage has been repaired. As Optimus Prime levels a knight in the path of Skydive's king, Jazz pops up from his cloud, "Aww yea! Check mate Prime!"

Walking over to the pair, the Doctor of Style throws up a friendly wave, "How about gettin' down with a game of Chinese checkah's homies!"

Then nothing. Darkness.

Then light!

Jazz rubs his blue visor as the training room does its duty of repairing the temporary damage. Looking /down/ at Metroplex, the Special Operations Commander greets the incoming hand with a firm shake of his own. "That's what I'm talkin' about Metro-Man! Way to throw it down! See? You can still wreck shop with the best of them!"