Scattershot misses the party

Transformers 2005 - Monday, September 13, 2004, 7:13 PM ---

 Jazz sings, "C'mon and Ease on down, ease on down the ro-oad-- Don't you carry nothing that might be a load-- ya gotta ease on down, ease on down th'road!"

 Sideswipe says, "MONKEYS!!! JAZZ! Look out for the monkeys!!!!!"

 Rodimus Prime says, "Monkeys?"

 Wipeout says, "Thanks fer screamin' in my ear nimrod! *mutters and turns her radio down*"

 Rodimus Prime says, "Jazz, Sideswipe, what's going on?"

 Jazz dissolves into something that suspiciously sounds like... a giggle. "Careful, man... They're eeevil..."

 Wipeout says, "I think they been drinking too much..."

 Foxfire says, "I agree."

 Chef DepthCharge says, "Monkeys. They would be.. Flying monkeys by any chance?"

 Scattershot says, "Oh yeah...errr...You two should be ashamed of yourselves...Yeah that's right."

 Sideswipe says, "Oh mighty Oz... We're looking for th' wick'd witch but the yellow brick roads a bit bumpy."

 Jazz says, "Ain't touched a drop... it's... um... what was that again, 'Swipe... LOOK OUT! It's a flying monkey!"

 Sideswipe says, "AHHHH!!!!"

 Wipeout heaves a huge sigh. "...Wackos, the whole lot of ya."

 Foxfire says, "...Should I go find 'em before they give the rest of us headaches?"

 Rodimus Prime says, "Yes! Scattershot, Depthcharge, and anyone else, go with him and find out where those two are."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "That include me?"

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "But.. what of the flying monkeys, sir?"

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime snorts, "Damn the flying monkies and yes Wipeout, I did say anyone else didn't I?

<Autobot> Jazz says, "No! Ya don't wanna... " puzzled sounding pause. "Swipe? Where are we goin' again?"

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "Well, I'm not an Autobot, so I wasn't sure...But if ya say so."

<Autobot> Scattershot says, "Allright you clowns where are you ?"

<Autobot> Jazz says, "Oz... ya okay there, bud?"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "What's that word again for whn things ADR?"

<Autobot> Jazz says, "I don' remember, man. I'm.. whassit... a li'l woozy."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "We're goin t' Oz to see Ozimus Prime and these slaggin monkeys..."

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "Hmm. I'm not picking up their ID Frequencies. They must have them turned off. How about we start simply, what planet are you and your flying monkeys presently on?"

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "...Do they do this often, Foxxie?"

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "Fortunately, no. At least, not to my knowledge."

<Autobot> Jazz says, "Oz."

<Autobot> Foxfire sounds like he's getting really annoyed. "Jazz! Sideswipe!  Where the slag are you morons?!"

<Autobot> Jazz says, "We're off t'see the wiz, coz the wiz is a wonderful wiz, the wiz he was..."

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "Rodger that. Cross referencing Oz in Teletran Two."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "Oz is a kiddy's tale."

<Autobot> Scattershot uses his big voice. "Yeeess ? Oz wants to know where you are so he can guide you along the rusty brick road."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "...How much have those two bafoons been drinkin'?"

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "Wait. Oz is another name for Australia."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "That's Aussie DC."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime grumbles, "Do a planet wide search. Wipeout, DepthCharge, and Foxfire, check cybertron.  Anyplace that'll knock out ID frequencies would be good.  Scattershot and I will do the same on earth.  If they're hurt, their logic circuits might be damaged."

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "Right, chief."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "Roger, Dodger."

<Autobot> Jazz says, "Great an' powerfu-- ya don' wanna get too close 'ere."

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "Heading to Cyberton."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Oh great n powerful Ozimus... I'm thinkin here my fellow roadwarrior.. *pause.. snicker* jus' took out a few monkeys with his hood.."

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "I'll check the rusty balloon on Cybertron."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "You flatten'd th' monkey Jazz.. Monkey fall down.. Or somethin'."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "They're not in San Francisco, unless they've masked their energon signatures somehow. Heading out of the city to expand my search."

<Autobot> Smokescreen says, "Waitaminute, what're we looking for?"

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "Jazz n' Sideswipe."

<Autobot> Jazz starts singing again. "The monkeys, the monkeys, the monkeys---"

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "Alright. No sign of them or the monkeys in the steel balloon. But I did run into an empty who, for a price, told me an interesting piece of information. Apparently flying turbo pigs have recently been seen over Cybertron. Coincidence? I think not."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "Jazz and Sideswipe are talking jibberish. They might be hurt someplace.  Their locators are offline as well.  We've got Scattershot and I looking around earth and everyone else are searching on cybertron."

<Autobot> Victory Leo says, "Scattershot and ME, you cretin."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "Hey, you want me to speak properly and nail this truck in front of me? Or speak poorly and avoid the truck?  Primus...move it you stupid slagger!"

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "Depends. Is the truck Decepticon Motormaster?"

<Autobot> Wipeout sounds a bit confused. "Who the - Nevermind...This is way too odd...I got me a bad feelin'..."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "No, some human cargo transport with 'Wal-Mart' on the side of it."

<Autobot> Smokescreen says, "Roger that."

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "Hmm.. quiet. You still with us Autobots Jazz and Sideswipe?"

<Autobot> Sideswipe sounds just on the other side of disturbed, "Jus' gotta get t' Oz... through.. yeah.. under the tunnel underground... "

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "Tunnel?"

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "What tunnel Sider?"

<Autobot> Jazz says, "... Don't remember no tunnel on th'yellow brick road...You sure this is the way.. um... Side... Er... Sideswipe?"

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "S'like th forest but no evil tree's.. All dark.. full of junk... thinks watcha in there all th' same.. Gotta keep movin."

<Autobot> Smokescreen says, "...Do we even know what planet they're on?"

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "Notta clue."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "Haven't seen anythin' on Cyber."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "Sideswipe, Jazz, stay where you are, help's on the way."

<Autobot> Jazz says, "Trust ya... gotta ... aw.. man... where'd ya go?"

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "Jazz,m did ya lose Sider?"

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "I'm heading to the Cybertronian Graveyard. If there are flying monkeys being created.. I bet they are getting the parts from there."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "Since we're getting a signal from them, triangulate their positions."

<Autobot> Jazz says, "... loosin'... wazzthe word... sens- sensors. fried."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Jus' keep singin to me, Jazz-man."

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "Hey...chief? I think we found 'em."

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "And the monkeys?"

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "No monkeys. Just these two losers."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "No monkeys, but I got a couple of nuts."

<Autobot> Smokescreen says, "Whatcha got, kid?"

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "Where are they?"

<Autobot> Jazz does manage to keep doin' that, and sings "'Cause there maybe times When you think you lost your mind And the steps you're takin' Leave you three, four steps behind... But the road you're walking Might be long sometimes You just keep on steppin' And you'll be just fine, yeah.."

<Autobot> Foxfire sighs. "The Cybertron Highway."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "West, if my sensors are workin' right"

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "Rodger that. Get them to Icon.. err.. Iahex.. err. whatever it is called these days' repair bay. I'll meet you there."

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "Someone better get over here. Wipeout an' I can't handle 'em ourselves."

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge says, "Just wave a energon goodie in front of them."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "Somethin'"

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "Somethin' ain't right..."

<Autobot> Jazz says, "Don' wanna get too close.... somethin'... supposed to remember..."

<Autobot> Rodimus Prime says, "DepthCharge, they'll need medical attention sooner than later. Get there..."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Discontanstro.. no... decontantifi... No.. wash up?"

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "This isn't good. I'm pickin' up some high levels of radiation."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "What does that mean?"

<Autobot> Jazz says, "tha's the word."

<Autobot> Jazz says, "I think..."

<Autobot> Chef DepthCharge sighs and starts flying, "Rodger that."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "...Something tells me that this ain't your normal drunken behavior..."

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "No kiddin'."

<Autobot> Jazz says, "Toldja.. not... drinkin'."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "Unless these guys went way overboard, and I kinda doubt that they did."

<Autobot> Sideswipe says, "Don' drink on missions..."

<Autobot> Foxfire says, "All right, it's official. Either these two are idiots, or they're just really overenergized." He pauses for a moment. "Or they got into the radiation. Whatever."

<Autobot> Wipeout says, "They're crazier than my relatives. An' that's sayin' somethin'.\"

Travel spam

New Cybertron Highway <Far West> You continue your way along the New Cybertron Highway. From this wide open view, your vision is limited only by the gentle sloping of the planet's surface and the odd, small uprising of metallic ground. Nothing of significance is visible to the east, where you can see the great Iacon Plain stretching over the land. Further along the highway to the west, you can glimpse some low hills surrounding the abyss where a vast intersection once was...

Contents: Cybertronian Semi Rig DepthCharge Foxfire Jazz Sideswipe

Sideswipe realizes, rather delayed realization.. that he's being tugged on.. and someone mentioned getting up.. So he works on that with a dogged determination, monkeys or no monkeys. Up to a knee.. then up to his feet, wobbling. "Jazz.. Gimme yer hand.. "pause as he reaches towards the more blinded 'bot. "To yer left. no.. other left..."

<KNUJ> Radio DJ Broadcast starts strumming a guitar live on the radio.

Starfighter <Scattershot> flies silently into the area sensors on full scan. "Sorry I am late I was...delayed...in...errr...a place I looked. Yeah real haystack and all that." The techno-fighter executes a few runs around the immediate area in order to get a good picture of the situation.

<KNUJ> Radio DJ Broadcast plays the accousting guitar and sings, "If you put your arms around me, could it change the way I feel? I guess I let myself believe that the outside might just bleed its way in, maybe stir the sleeping past? Lying under glass, I'm waiting for the kiss that breaks this awful spell. Pull me out of this lonely hell." He continues to play, "Close my eyes and hold my heart, cover me and make me something. Change this something normal into something beautiful."

Foxfire abandons tugging on Sideswipe's arm, looking a bit aggitated, though not as much as he was when he first discovered the two. The cassette cants his neck and spots Scattershot, which causes a little smile to cross his muzzle. "Nice ta see you," he remarks.

Jazz manages to get to his feet, or some semblance thereof, with the help of both Sideswipe and DepthCharge. "Feel kinda.. woozy?" he asks, fortunatly not able to see the glaring orange alt-mode. "I only got one left, y'know." Moving is harder than it looks. "ADR."

Sideswipe smirks.. "ADR..." wicked grin despite the wobbling. "Lead on.. uh.." He stares at Depthcharge.. and freezes, trying to label him into the cracked logic paradigm. "Uh.." wobble.. he stares.. and stares.. and remains frozen, unable to put Depthcharge properly into the paradigm. "ADR."

DepthCharge is completely unaware of Sideswipe's confusion of DepthCharge's presence. He instead just keeps pulling on Jazz's arm, trying to get him into the back of Rodimus, singing all the while and motioning for Sideswipe to follow with a pleasant smile.

Cybertronian Semi Rig would shake his head, if he could. He calls out, "DepthCharge, quit being as crazy as them. They're hurt. Pick their hulls up, put them on me, and strap them down. The sooner they get to Iahex, the less damage you'll have to repair."

Jazz grins for no apparent reason. Just before he trips over one of his own feet, and knocks himself senseless on Rodimus's day-glo-orange badass self. He'll never live this down, will he? Probably not. Which sucks. But since his player has to be up in about 5 hours to go to work, it's about all that can happen.

Starfighter <Scattershot> executes one last pass and transform in order to land not too far from the group. The technobot walks up to Sideswipe and examines him from head to toe. "What is your major malfunction?"

With the traditional sound, Scattershot unfolds into his robot mode.

Sideswipe can't place Depthchange.. so he doesn't exist.. He look over to see Jazz up and on his feet, "Hey..." blink.. stumble.. "Whoah.. Woozy.." And Jazz falls into the orange one. "Jazz?" frown as he limps closer.. "You alri..." there.. comes something flying.. and he turns to stare at Scattershot.. And raises his rifle, "Look.. Monkey.. thing.. I'm too tired to paste your flyin carcass.. Move on along.. I got a bud to get to OZ."

Sideswipe finishes his alltogether brave words with waving this rifle.. and falling flat on his face.. Logic? gone.. and after a point, everything quits.

Cybertronian Semi Rig drives off with Jazz, since he's on the flaming semi. Of course, someone else can pick up Jazz since no one's putting him on Rodimus as well.

Scattershot looks at Sideswipe "Speaking of 'pasting' stuff. Gimme that rifle before ya hurt yourself or someone else ya numbnut." The technobot holds his hand out only to take a step sideways as Sideswipe collapses to the ground. "Yeah that will do too." Scattershot graps Sideswipe's weapons and removes the ammo.

Wraith arrives from the Tunnel of Retoris to the east. Wraith has arrived.

Foxfire apparently can't decide on which emotion to use, as now he looks like a mixture of frustration and worry. The little tapebot tags along after Rodimus, hoping he can at least keep up with him. "Off to Iahex with goooo," he mutters in a sing-song voice, though his 'cheery' words don't match his current expression.

DepthCharge falls into line and follows the chosen one now that Jazz is on the trailer and Scattershot is dealing with Sideswipe. He'll deal with these two back at Iacon.. err.. Iahex.

DepthCharge has left.

Cybertronian Semi Rig moves east to the Tunnel of Retoris. Cybertronian Semi Rig has left. Wraith moves east to the Tunnel of Retoris. Wraith has left. Foxfire moves east to the Tunnel of Retoris. Foxfire has left. Sideswipe has left.

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