Rams and RAM

NCC Medical Ward

Like its previous incarnation, this medical ward was designed with the medic in mind, with all the modern advances to make the dirty work of repairs a world easier. It is well lit, the blue and violet metal of the walls and decor is a shade paler here, and the ubiquitous filigree is missing, all to assist in ease of cleaning. Still, the place veritably sparkles. In the furniture, there is a subtle motif of blades and sharp edges, as if to evoke the scalpel of a surgeon, although it is all quite safe. Around two dozen beds, more comfortable than their sharp looks would suggest, fill the medical ward, laid out in a tidy grid, and more can be flipped out of the walls should emergency demand it. A set of tracks on the ceiling mirror the grid of beds, allowing advanced scanning equipment and tolls to be swiveled around to the various beds. Computer terminals and cabinets are molded right into the walls at intervals, and while there are the normal medical security cameras, it appears as if someone has set some of the cameras specifically to watch the cabinets.

From the entrance to the medbay comes a great kerfuffle and a struggle as Blueshift staggers in dragging a furry animal by a chain. "Nnn SILENCE RAM!" he screams as the ram makes various 'baa' noises. "SOON YOU WILL SERVE ME!"

Hook is here in the medical bay, quite thankful to finally have some piece and quiet. With no major skirmishes havig occured this planetary cycle, the med bay is relativly quiet and empty. Hook huddles over the fabled White Book of Primus, comparing the text and making notes on a computer. Hook groans as Blueshift arrives to ruin his otherwise perfect day. "Explain yourself, Blueshift. And make it QUICK or I'll have ewe mopping the floors."

Blueshift manages to skid the protesting ram across the floor. "Well Hook!" he says, somehow cackling as he says it. "As part of my ongoing ambitions to make myself /better/ than my brother, I have purchased this /ram/ with which I will allow myself to ram the Autobots better!"

"As amusing as your ongoing antics and one-upmanship is..." Hook begin, his expression darkening quickly. And he was having such a good day. "We will not tolerate such filthy beasts in this base. Not to MENTION the fact that you are clearly suffering from severe MENTAL problems if you think a furryl ittle creature can be of any such use. When was the last time you had your personality compoment checked for functional errors?"

Blueshift ponders this. "I do not HAVE a personality component Hook, do not try to decieve me!" He picks up the ram and slams it onto the table in front of Hook. "I stole these shock absorbing rods from the Smithsonian AGES ago!" he emits, waving about some cracking rods. "But then I thought 'no, this RAM will do better!'"

Hook looks closely at Blueshift, as if to peer into the very curcuits that make the blue space warrior tick. "Your mastery of stupidity never ceases to amaze me, Blueshift. This is a SHEEP. It has NOTHING to do with anything, and look! It's excreting all over the work table! Put it in a crate or a closet or something while I look over these shock obsorbing devices." He says, his optics gazing over the crackling rods. He begins to punch some data into a pad, hrrmming thoughtfully. "Yes, these should prove useful. I assume you intend for /me/ to install them, no doubt to obsorb the impact created when you RAM things?" The presence of the sheep makes this an obvious conclusion. "I agree ONLY because the less damage you incurr is less damage I have to fix; Also, you MUST have the filthy beast REMOVED from NCC at your earliest opportunity."

Blueshift sighs and starts to shovel the excrement into crates as ordered, as he hops onto the bench aside the ram, patting it. "It will be my new avatar of destruction!" he utters. "It will crush all before it with its horns, like so!" He picks up the ram and throws it at the wall. He stares at it turns into a horrible stain. "Aaah... see... it too can transform!"

Hook groans some more, not entirely happy with the idea of having to work on the no doubt ill-cared for insides of Blueshift. He's probaly full of squirrels or crickets or something. But, the less Blueshift /breaks/ himself, the less he'll be in the medbay. "Get on the work bench and transform, before I change my mind." He says grumpily. He points at a bored-looking medical assistant. "You, clean up that rotten biological mess, have it delivered to Scrapper's quarters with a note saying it's a gift from Blot."

Blueshift transforms into his spaceship mode, which hovers before resting down on the bench. A hatch opens on the back and a cricket hops out. "Hurry!" cries the ship. "Also you must make me /slightly faster/ so I may be faster than my really slow brother!"

Hook begins to have doubts about doing anything to help Blueshift, it might be better for everyone if he just yanked out the ship's laser core and put him out of his misery. Oh, but the paperwork would be too dreadful, even for the vast satisfaction of killing Blueshift. He grumbles some more, and gets to work; Detaching exterior plates and preparing to operate on the blue ship, and barking orders at the surrounding med assistants to fetch parts and tools.

The laser guns on the front of Blueshift's ship mode track about to follow the gumbies as they wander the lab. "Yes Hook, once I can hit people more, and I am faster, the position of space commander will soon be mine. And YOU will be my junior chief scientist!"

"I think I'd rather be dead." Hook mutters with a groan, as he goes about installing the aforementioned shock-obsorbers. "I would not be 'junior' anything, I'm the best technical surgeon on all of CYBERTRON." Not to mention the fact Blueshift would probaly get himself and half of Aerospace KILLED if he were space commander. Redshift, at least, has managed to avoid mass disaster, primarly by not doing anything. The shock-obsorbing struts alone would probaly not be enough to prevent major damage from Blueshift's frequent crashes, but Hook is, after all, a /miracle worker/. Proper reinforcement of Blueshift undercarriage and frontal heat shields should take care of any excess energy imparted on them upon crashing.

"Yessss" utters the spaceship as Hook upgrades him. "And now, my future Junior under-secretary of science!" The ship rocks back and forth excitedly. "And now, make me faster. I can find some sort of really fast bird to tape to me, if it will help!"

Hook continues to work, doing his best to ignore Blueshift's ongoing rambling commentary. He should have shut off the blue Decepticon's vocalizing curcuits before he started working. He moves to the rear of the spacecraft, muttering something about 'incomplete combustion' and 'build up of corrosive compounds'. "These engines look like they haven't been serviced in about two million vorn, and even then, they look like they were cleaned by a /monkey/ with a rusty spoon. Horribly shoddy work..." He grumbles. "These intake manifolds are coming out, along with half the other components." He barks some more orders to his staff, who are sent scambling for the required parts. "The new parts and a proper bit of fine-tunig should be sufficient to give you an advantage over your brother."

"OOK OOK OOK!" From inside Blueshift scurries a monkey with a rusty spoon, which manages to make it halfway across the medbay before being vaporised by a laser bolt from blueshift. "GOTCHA!" Blueshift emits loudly, his lasers smoking. "Finally!" He's not really been listening to Hook. "Yess... manifolds..." he mutters. "I have many folds"

Hook rips out the junky old parts, tossing them over his shoulder like discarded bitd of garbage. "You'll have to refrain from full speed space-flight for a while, wouldn't want to blow out one of your engines. And STAY AWAY FROM ANIMALS. I don't EVER want to see another creature in NCC that doesn't turn into a Deceticon." He says roughly, as he begins to install Blueshift's new manifolds and exhausts tubes and control curcuits and vector thrusters and all that jazz.

"Now, that should be sufficient. Crash into things all day long, just STAY AWAY from my med bay for a while, and take those bloody meat-creatures with you." He says, putting the last few armor plates back into place.

"Does that means I am not on Predacon duty?" Blueshift emits as he hovers into the air and out through the wall. "VICTORY!"