Decepticonz Episode One

< Earth > Soundwave - Across the planet Earth, a strange new show is premiering on www.Decepticonz.com, as well as on Youtube. People were led there by forum posts by anonymous people, saying things like, "OMG you have to check this out!!" And those who dare to view the videos are treated to a strange, guitar-heavy intro song, accompanied by various anime-style Decepticons doing ninja flips, shooting absurdly powerful weapons, and screaming while energy fluctuates around them. And the song goes like this:

"YEAH! Decepticonz! Kicking Autobutt! Fighting to survive, oh oh, Decepticonz! Never givin' in, we'll never surrender! Ohhh, Decepticonz! Fightin' forever, til the end of time! YEAAAHHHH!" *kabooom!*

< Earth > Soundwave: After that wonderful intro, the episode begins. It appears to be set on the bridge of the Decepticon's old headquarters on Earth, the underwater Nemesis. Megatron--Megatron? Oh, yes, the info for this show says that it's set in about 1989 or so--is seen addressing his troops. Soundwave stands proudly by his side, while Starscream is in a corner sulking. "Greetings, Decepticonz!" Megatron says, in a voice that sounds friendlier than what the real Transformers might remember. "We are low on energy, and in order to leave this world before the Autobots destroy us, we require more!"

Soundwave is hunched over a computer console, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he watches his show unfold online.

< Earth > Scrapper, who occasionally looks like Scavenger depending on the angle of the shot, is also in here. "All hail mighty Megatron!" Scrapenger says in Scrapper's voice. He raises his arms over his head and cheers wildly. "But wait, mighty Megatron, what will we do if the evil Autobots try and prevent our innocent and... peaceful and... uh..." the voice falters. Then, as if talking to someone off the mic, Scrapper can be heard muttering, "Are they really going to believe this crap? Ow! Stop poking me!" Scrapper's voice returns fully. "Yes, our peaceful intentions. What will we do if the Autobots try and stop us again?"

Scrapper is watching over Soundwave's shoulder. His arms are crossed. "This is so lame," he says openly.

< O-Decepticon > Soundwave says, "Since the children of Earth have no recollection of the 80's, a "revised" version will alter their perception of what really happened. At least, that's the general idea. :)"

Switchblade arrives from the northwest through one of the sliding doors portraying a Decepticon symbol, one that appeared seamless moments before.

Switchblade has arrived.

Scrapper is watching over Soundwave's shoulder. His arms are crossed. "This is so lame," he says openly. < repose for Switchblade >

Soundwave looks over at Scrapper briefly. "Perhaps. But we must appeal to the weak and simple minded."

Switchblade walks into the room, and looks at Scrapper and Soundwave. "What in Primus are you doing?" He asks aloud. His violet optics look around. Yet, he doesn't get too violent about it, being that they are both higher ranked then he is.

< Earth > Catechism is actually Dirge. See how gloomy gloomy she... he is! Don't you just want to cheer up emo jet? Dirge, who sounds oddly girly, moans, "The Autobots are so mean and make me so sad!" Dirge sniffles.

Scrapper looks towards Switchblade and motions for him to come on over. "Watching TV," he admits. "Soundwave had us make up an Earthly transmission. So far it's pretty bad, though." Not that Scrapper has any idea what counts as good television programming or anything.

Soundwave stares at Switchblade for a moment. "Propaganda effort. Your apparent alarm is unnecessary."

"I dont believe the humans will fall for this..." He looks to the screen in which the episode is being played on. "I mean...look at it." Yet, he bites his tongue and thinks. It is true, Earth does indeed have some incredbily -stupid- programming on their airwaves. Some of it does become really popular with the youths.

< Earth > Scrapper/Scavenger steps over to Catedirge and gives him/her a hug to make him/her feel better, as all Decepticons believe in helping each other out when they are feeling down. "Aww, it's ok, Catechism," Scrapper says, struggling heavily with his lines. "Some day we'll we'll be able to defeat the Autobots and then... ugh.. peace and harmony will... uh... cover the land."

< Earth > Soundwave: Megatron looks almost sad as he tells Scrapper, "Then we must use force. There is no choice! Without the energy we need, we'll be trapped on Earth forever. And yes, Dirge, I know. They're quite vicious, but it's going to be alright. Now. On to business. Soundwave. You have selected a suitable target, have you not?" To which Soundwave replies, in a voice decidedly not like his real one, "Hellz yeah, Megatron! Check it: There's these abandoned oil refineries chock full of energy. The humans don't need it, so we'll just help ourselves." On the main screen of the bridge, the oil refinery in question can be seen.

Scrapper watches as his character - a badly formed union of himself and Scavenger - hugs Catechism. "I've never claimed to understand the way humans work, so who knows. Maybe if we just dangled a bunch of shiny things over them we'd be able to get their attention."

You say, "Programming of a similar nature routinely achieves high ratings amongst children and mental invalids."

< Earth > Catechism is Catechism now? No, she's still Dirge. He's Dirge. Whichever. Catedirge points out, "Oil pollutes the Earth! We are doing the humans a favour by taking it away, free of charge."

< Earth > Scrapper throws his hands up into the air again, "Yay!" he says in Long Haul's voice. He's just so darn happy to be able to help out the poor and innocent humans.

< Earth > Soundwave: Starscream smiles and says in a voice MUCH whinier than the one he really had, "Megatron, please let me lead this mission!" But Megatron frowns at him and says, "Well... I still don't know if I can trust you Starscream! You have a lot to learn about Decepticon values, like honor and courage! For that reason, Soundwave will lead the mission instead. Starscream, you'll go with me while we stage a diversion elsewhere." Starscream glowers, but nods. Then, Soundwave strikes a dramatic pose, raising a fist into the air as he says, "Oh yeah! Decepticonz, let's ROCK outta here!" He does a double-flip forward, then flies up through the periscoping tower of the Nemesis, and shoots off into the night sky.

You say, "It was an interesting exercise to emulate some of Blaster's mannerisms while portraying myself. Perhaps he will view this program and feel appropriately slighted."

< Commentary > Emily Briar blinks .." Man someone must have spiked their...um energon or whatever they eat.."

Switchblade not actually taking part in the voice acting, takes part into a different way. "Hey Soundwave, you have full control of whats going on in the show, correct?"

< Earth > Scrapper throws his hands up over his head as Soundwave gets permission to command the mission. "Yay-yay!" he exclaims in Mixmaster's voice. Scrapper didn't have time to do the voice-work on /all/ the yays so he had some stand-ins help out every so often. Hands still upwards, he streaks upwards after Soundwave. Crazy anime speed lines suddenly appear while a faux Japanese tune can be heard blaring. There's a slow motion stock shot of Scrapper transforming into his payloader form while the camera spins around, explosions go off in the background, and Scrapper occasionally makes grunting noises as is to express just how AWESOME and BADASS this transformation is. Lasers occasionally shoot off in all directions while the screen rapidly flashes different colours. The end result is the payloader, with a gigantic and sleek purple flight wing, that soars after Soundwave, with more speed lines coming out from behind him. As he flies, one can see other lime green vaguely construction vehicle shaped things going along for the ride.

Soundwave looks up at Switchblade. "The show was animated some time earlier, but I can make alterations in real-time if necessary."

Scrapper says, "You know I think my character could use some more development or something. Maybe he could have several episodes devoted to the adventures of the Constructicons. Maybe they could go kill Omega Supreme or something!"

< Earth > Catechismdirge transforms to jet mode. Curiously, his transformation scheme is pink, sparkly, and involves many strategic ribbons. And a cry of, "Dirge, make-up!" Dirge, now in jet mode, and a pair of generic blue Seekers who have appeared out of nowhere follow after the Constructicons. Dirge opines, "Oh, I hope that we don't run into any of our feathered friends while flying!"

"Excellent, thats exactly what I wanted to hear. Don't forget to try and add a scene with the Autobots concieving an 'evil' plot at the same time. Or the terran children won't get the feeling of why they need to fear the bots..." Hopefully Soundwave can accomplish such a thing.

< Earth > Soundwave: Meanwhile, in the Autobot Ark, evil is afoot! In a darkened room, a familiar voice consults the glowing screen of Teletran-1. "Teletran-1, are the Autobots in position?"

"AFFIRMATIVE." "Excellent... Excellent! Hmha, hmhuhahahaha!" The camera switches to an angle of the person speaking. Those antennae are familiar... is that... Optimus Prime?

Soundwave finishes typing something at a mind-boggling speed. "There. A short scene portraying Optimus Prime as an evil force. Perhaps I will do more in this regard later."

Switchblade nods at Soundwave. "This is perfect, if we can trick these primitive apes, things will be alot easier..." He continues to watch as the epidsode plays out.

< Earth > Soundwave zips through the sky, coming to a halt above the refinery. He points down at it, and says, "Ok, guys, there it is! Let's do this quick, aight? Then we maybe we can get outta here before... ah, snap! It's an Autobot trap!" Cue Autobots.

Scrapper hmmms and rubs his chin with a lime green hand. "I don't know... people seem to be pretty pro-Optimus Prime on this planet as far as I can tell." Scrapper is reserving judgement for after this, however.

< Earth > Catechismgrouses, "The Autobots are so cowardly, to use traps! But if they faced us with honour in open battle, they would surely be justly defeated." The two blue Seekers tailling Dirge are now green.

< Earth > Scrapper/Scavenger lands on the ground next to the rest of the Constructicons - of whom there are two Hooks, zero Mixmasters, and three and a half Long Hauls. "Oh no, Optimus Prime has come to stop our good and non-evil ways! What can we do, Master Soundwave, whom we all depend, love, and cherish and would be at a complete loss without?"

Soundwave glances around at everyone. "This is my favorite part."

Scrapper just shakes his head. "I hate this part." He isn't too enthusiastic about this entire plan. The only reason he went along with it was because he owed Soundwave one for letting him experiment on Magma a while back.

< Earth > Soundwave lands next to Scrapper, and says, "Stay cool! Fight back, but try not to shoot the refinery! And take care of yo'selves out there!" However, he is visibly shocked at the arrival of one particular Autobot into the fray, whose heavy footsteps sound like the beating of an ominous drum. "Hey, Soundwave," Blaster says in a booming, horrifying voice. "Long time, no see, buddy." "Not long enough, Blaster! You Autobots are totally uncool, yo!" Soundwave retorts. "Hahaha!" Blaster laughs. "Foolish Soundwave, you cannot stop us." Blaster gestures, and cheesy looking rings of sonic energy are emitted at Soundwave.

< Earth > Catechismdirge squares off against the Aerialbots, except that Silverbolt is a Tupolev instead of a Concorde, and there are two Fireflights. Dirge flies circles around the Aerialbots, sending the two Fireflights crashing into each other. He then makes a big heart in the sky with his jet exhaust to show his love to the humans. Silverbolt, however, breaks Dirge's heart. Oh snap. Now the fight is *on*. Dirge hollers, "You didn't do that, homeboy!"

< Earth > Scrapper and his eight Constructicons go about the job of taking the energon in such a way that makes it look like it's all peaceful and kind - the humans are all smiling and are practically giving it away. Unfortunately, they're suddenly interrupted by a loud and rather booming voice. "ENEMY: LOCATED. IDENTIFICATION: CONSTRUCTICONS. CONSTRUCTICONS: ENEMIES!" The huge and lumbering form of Omega Supreme touches down on the refinery, which for some reason doesn't break like a brittle old man hip. He is titanic, towering over all the other Transformers.

"Oh oh," says Scrapenger, looking up at the giant Autobot. "Looks like we need Devastator power!" he shouts. All the Constructicons suddenly whip out their Constructicon Medallions and hold them out in front of them, doing a little bit of choreography along the way. Suddenly the screen shifts to show a close up of the six (they got it right for his) Constructicons, one at a time while anime flash lines blare in the background. Four out of ten kids are now suffering from epileptic seizures. "Payloader!" Scrapper shouts. "Cement Truck!" Mixmaster shouts. "Crane!" Hook shouts. "Bulldozer!" Bonecrusher shouts. "Shovel... thingee..." Scavenger stammers. "Dump Truck!" Long Haul shouts.

There are suddenly shots of all the Constructicons leaping into the air and doing somersaults for some crazy ass reason. The end result is Devastator, also standing on the refinery that just won't buckle under the weight. Devastator is a good head and shoulders taller than Omega Supreme.

You say, "The flashing lights will cause epileptic seizures, generating controversy and increasing attention on the series."

Switchblade looks at the screen. "Soundwave, can you stick a fake company on there. We'll promote some kind of merchandise with that name later."

Soundwave nods, and begins to type again at an amazing speed. "Very well."

< Earth > Switchblade then appears on screen. His body shines in ebony glory, as he strikes a noble pose. He then gets busy, trying to evacuate the humans on the rig. "Hurry, you must get out of here! We can't let you get in the firefight with these -evil- Autobots." Yet, it is in that moment that behind him stands a familiar figure, known as Ironhide. "What do you think you're doing!" He yells in his mock-southern accent. Yet, the Autobot wastes no time, as he goes for the humans. Trying to smash them with a two handed strike. "No!!" Switchblade yells out, and takes the blow. His body shaking with stress from the attack "I will not allow you to harm these innocents, we Decepticonz would never let such a horrible act to be taken out!" He says, and launches up into an uppercut, knocking the Autobot back onto his aft.

< Earth > Soundwave shouts, "No way, two can play!" and places his fingers on his temple as sonic waves are emitted from his head, intercepting Blaster's sonic waves and canceling them out in a blaze of light(??). Blaster grits his teeth, and the size of his sonic waves increases, but then Soundwave shouts, "Ok, no more games! SONNIIIICCC SUUUUPPPPEEEERRRR POWERRRRRRRRR!!!" And then he rears back and three HUGE glowing rings erupt from his chest, smashing Blaster's waves aside like they weren't even there. They then smash into Blaster himself and he screams as he briefly disappears in a huge explosion, Soundwave then strikes a victory pose, shouting, "YEAH!" But is it really so easy?...

Scrapper glances at Soundwave and Switchblade, wondering what the latter has in mind right now. He turns back to the screen in time to see Switchblade appear in cartoon form. "Wow, Ironhide's more of a jerk than I remember," he says with a snicker.

Switchblade turns to Scrapper, "Not much a bot can defend against, if he's gone..." A sadistic smile appears behind his mouth piece. "Im sure you can agree with that?"

You say, "Additionally, to have them be portrayed in such a manner may undermine the morale of the Autobots who remember them."

< Earth > Scrapper is now a part of Devastator. Unfortunately getting Devastator to record lines was more or less impossible, so the Korean animators did the next best thing and just swiped lines from James Earl Jones. "Do not be too proud of this technology terror," Devastator Vader says to the Autobots, gesturing towards Omega Supreme. Omega Supreme lumbers towards Devastator and smashes him over the head with his orange power claw thing of doom, causing Devastator to fall down and accidentally crush a whole bunch of humans, thus showing that all those humie deaths were really the fault of the Autobots. "Impressive," Darth Constructicon replies in a deep voice. "Most impressive." Oh oh, does the evil Omega Supreme have the upper hand on Devastator, or can Devastator pull it out at the last moment and win one for justice and honour?

Scrapper watches this travesty. "This is so bad, Soundwave..." he says in his gruff voice, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "Are humans /really/ this dumb to fall for this sort of thing?"

< Earth > Switchblade quickly turns to look at the screen, showing little lines around him, making him as if he was caught off guard. That's when the -evil- Ironhide has picked up one of the metallic cylinders on the rig. "How bout I make myself a Decepti'creep pancake?" Yet, as the metallic weapon descends on Switchblade, the brave and valient mini-bot has drawn his twin blades and has leapt at the huge tybe. Then the background begins to flash colors, as Switchblade becomes a silhouette and is already passed it. It then shatters and falls into two pieces. "You cannot stand against the Honor we represent."

< Earth > Catechismdirge gets into intense, Top Gun-like dogfights with the Aerialbots, who have forgotten that they combine. They're missing their Fireflights, anyway. They even do a slow-mo into bullet time, to show how the Mach waves rolling off Dirge literally deflect bullets. And then... Dirge uses his special. Which is to broadcast "Bring Me to Life". Teen girls instantly mob Dirge in mid-air. Air Raid transforms and claws out his own audios.

Soundwave's reply is simple and to the point. "Yes." He finishes typing with a final CLACK.

Switchblade waves his hand at Scrapper, who's talking as he's trying to speak. "If anything, look at it like this. This makes an excellent diversion, if we wanted to strike..."

< Earth > Scrapper, who is still a part of Devastator, doesn't do anything. Because he's a part of Devastator. Duh. Either way, Omega Supreme is towering over the downed Constructicon Combiner, waving his plasma arm around all threatening-like. "DESTRUCTION: IMMINENT!" he booms. But Devastator doesn't seem to be out of this just yet. He slowly tries to get back into his feet, saying in James Earl Jones's voice, "I'm going to beat you with a crowbar until you leave." Thank you, Field of Dreams. Devastator kicks out with his Mixmaster leg, tripping Omega Supreme and causing the plasma cannon blast to go wide (and wipe out a bunch of humans, naturally. When the Bots do it, though, it's on purpose). Devastator rises back to his feet, now suddenly having the upper hand. There's a close up on Devastator, who mutters in a badass tone, "This... is CNN." He then blasts Omega Supreme with his giant purple pistol that looks like Shockwave, causing Omega Supreme to explode in a thousand parts! "Yay!" all the humans standing around shout.

Scrapper replies to Switchblade, "I don't think I have the mental capacity to do anything after viewing this, let alone go on an attack."

< Earth > Soundwave's victory pose ends abruptly as a familiar laughing can be heard. "What? No way!" Soundwave says. A silhouette can be seen in the smoke, and, as it slowly parts, it eventually reveals... Blaster, completely unscratched! "I told you before, Soundwave. We are invincible." Suddenly, Blaster winks out of existence, reappears right in front of Soundwave, then punches Soundwave hard in the gut, propelling him five miles away, right into a mountain. Soundwave hits the mountain hard, cratering it, but he gets no respite as Blaster instantly appears in front of him again. Blaster pummels his opponent with a blinding flurry of punches. Both characters make "Hoo!" "Uh!" "Uff!" sounds and other grunting noises during the beat down.

< Earth > Switchblade then appears on screen, and promply knocks Ironhide to the ground. His blade coming mere inches from the Autobot's throat. "You best be finishing me here, you foolish Decepti'creep. Or you'll never be getting of this here planet." Obviously the voice over for Ironhide is so far off, but it does the part. Sighing, Switchblade returns his blades to his back, and shakes his head. "A Decepticon could never strike a helpless opponent...." Switchblade turns his back to Ironhide, and begins to walk off. The screen then becomes reddish, as you see a laser shoot through Switch's shoulder. Causing the Decepticon to fall to the ground. "You backstabbing..." He says, as energon leaks from his shoulder.

< Earth > Catechismdirge gives the teenage girls a nice ride around the sky. He nimbly dodges the remaining three Aerialbots' shots. (Evidently, they went to school with the Stormtroopers.) Dirge intones sternly, "Remember to use your seatbelts, girls." One of the girls pipes up, "We want to be Decepticonz like you, Dirge!" Dirge advises, "Study hard at school, eat all your vegetables, wear a lot of purple, and listen to Cradle of Filth, and you just might!"

< Earth > Scrapper remains attached to Devastator, who looks smug after blowing up Omega Supreme with their super duper secret finishing move that wins all their battles. Smoke drifts from the Shockwave pistol barrel, making Devastator look pretty badass. Like on the Brawl scale of badassery, he's at least a 7 out of 10 right now. "All too easy," Darth-Vastator quips over his foe's destruction. The six Constructicons separate into their seven component parts. The eight Constructicons begin high fiving each other, "Woo!" "Good job, team!" "Thank goodness we were able to defeat the evil Omega Supreme." "Say no to drugs, kids!"

< Earth > Soundwave slumps down to the bottom of the mountain as Blaster stands over him, smirking. "Poor Soundwave," he gloats. "To come so far, only to fail at the end." But Soundwave staggers back up to his feet, clenching a fist tightly. "Not yet, Blaster... Because guess what?" "What?" "You're about to get SERVED!" He then blurs out of existance, fades back in behind Blaster, punts him in the air, follows him up into the sky, and pummels him from every direction. Then, he gives Blaster a huge to the midsection, propelling him to the ground, and Soundwave reaches behind himself, gathering energy between his hands. "Sonnicccchameeehaaaaaaa!" he shouts, as he thrusts his palms forward at Blaster, releasing the energy contained between them. Blaster screams as he is enveloped in the brilliant (???) sonic energy, his silhouette eventually disintegrating under the assault. "YEAH! Come back from that, punk!" Soundwave sagely intones.

You say, "The subject matter is ridiculous, but this is what my procedural software suggested after I inputted data from various children's shows that are popular on this world."

< Earth > Switchblade turns around, in obvious pain from his shoulder. As Ironhide raises his Laser gun to finish his work, yet flames begin to appear around Switchnlade, causing light to just shine from the Decepticon. "Super Phoenix dash!!" He yells allowed, and instantly, a firey bird is sent flying at the Autobot. "Noooo!!!" Ironhide yells, "I was so close to destroying you!!!" Soon his body begins to glow in the cracks and BOOM!!" Ironhide explodes. The human's that Switchblade aided begin to cheer for the injured Con. "No thanks are needed, little guys..." He says, and flies off into the skies. "If you ever need a hero, call for Switchblade!" He points out into the sky in a pose, then flies off.

< Earth > Scrapper and the other Constructicons of variable number and identity apparently did all the energon collection work off screen, because they now seem to have everything ready just in time for Soundwave and Switchblade to finish off their opponents. Dirgism is the last remaining combatant, but the Constructicons don't interfere because that wouldn't be honourable and Constructicons are always honourable, right? "We have the energon, Soundwave!" Mixmaster shouts to the Cassetticon Commander.

< Earth > Catechismdirge sets the fangirls down in a safe area. They chime, "Thanks, Mister Dirge!" He excuses, "No, thank you. It is the young people who give hope to this world. Indeed, with the power of your hope, I can now defeat the Aerialbots!" 'Dangerzone' plays. Dirge zooms up into the sky and dogfights Silverbolt. Suddenly, Dirge's main guns lock up. Is this the end of Dirge???%r%rNo, he transforms to robot mode and shoots Silverbolt! Silverbolt explodes! Haha-haha! Skydive and Slingshot run like the wussies they are.

"Hmm, we might wanna monitor how many humans are actually watching this..." Switchblade says curiously. Yet he does not mess with the controls, till Soundwave says they can.

Soundwave nods, and looks at his screen. "One hundred thousand hits on the Decepticonz website, where this program is primarily being broadcast, thus far."

< Earth > Soundwave strikes another dramatic pose. "OKAY! Let's take the energon and go before Optimus Prime sends more Autobots our way!" He grabs an armful of cubes and streaks off into the night sky. Looking over his shoulder, he calls out, "Thank you, people of Earth! Sorry about the mess!" And a human woman calls back, "It's ok, it's all the Autobots' fault for getting in your way!"

< Earth > Scrapper raises his hands over his head, "Yay!" He and the Constructicons then fly away with the other Decepticons.

< Earth > Catechism dirge cries out, "Dirge, make-up!" Swirly pink ribbons envelope him as his body turns all sparkly and glowy. Then he's in jet mode. A pair of purple Seekers join him, and they fly off into the sunset.

< Earth > Soundwave: Meanwhile, back at the Ark... Optimus Prime stands in almost absolute darkness. "Foolish Decepticonz. My warriors are not slain so easily. And you will never escape the Earth alive! This, I swear!" The camera pans away from him as he laughs maniacally, eventually refocusing on what appear to be transparent tanks with something floating in them. The camera zooms in... The objects in the tanks are the heads of the Autobots that were just defeated! Oh noes! (Wait, weren't some of them totally disintegrated?)

< Earth > Scrapper, still in cartoon form, suddenly appears on the screen half-way during the credits. He's standing somewhere in New Crystal City, walking along. There just might be another certainly Decepticon walking with him. Scrapper has with him what looks like a juice-box of energon. Finishing it off, he carelessly tosses it on the ground.

< Earth > Switchblade is indeed walking a little bit behind Scrapper, drinking what looks to be a cola can, with the name 'ener-gon power drink." Finishing the can, the cartoon Switchblade 'Ahhhs' and then just tosses the drink ontop of Scrappers trash.

"Hmmm, we could market the things on this..." Switchblade says, and rubs his chin.

Scrapper says, "The energon drink or the show itself?"

Switchblade says, "The drink, I mean."

Scrapper hmmms and thinks about it. "I'm rusty on my human biology, but don't humans explode if they drink energon?"

< Earth > Soundwave suddenly drops down from the sky in front of them. "Woah, you two! Don't you two know you're littering?" Soundwave gingerly picks up the juice box and soda can. "It's very important that we help keep the environment clean by properly disposing of our trash. Let me show you how." He tosses the juice box into a garbage can (which wasn't present in earlier scenes) and the can into a recycling bin (ditto). "Not only do we have to throw away our trash properly, we have to recycle whenever possible. Cans like that can even be used to make new friends!"

You say, "I would feel sorry for any Decepticons constructed solely from recycled aluminum."

< Earth > Scrapper says, "Wow, it's Soundwave!" as the Cassetticon Commander lands. He watches as Soundwave shows 'em how it's done by throwing out the trash. "I never realized how important the environment is. Now we know!"

Switchblade says, "I agree, I would rather shut myself down for good..."

Soundwave swivels in his chair to answer Scrapper's question. "No. The energon rapidly eats through their bodies, dissolving them. I have conducted several tests in this regard."

Scrapper says, "Oh right. Well they still probably wouldn't buy something that'll make them dissolve from the inside out either."

< Earth > Switchblade says, "Switchblade also gives a look of pure amazement as Soundwave lands. "No way, I can't believe it!" He says in a mock-excited tone. He then nods, as Soundwave demonstrates the proper way to dispose of the trash. "Im so glad that you showed me what I shouldn't do, Soundwave.""

Switchblade says, "No no, I meant the can itself, we market that and sell some kind of liquid for ingestion. Plus, have you seen what these humans drink anyways, it already dissolves their insides."

Scrapper was clearly not designed as a marketing robot. "Well I suppose... if they're dumb enough to watch /this/ drivel," Scrapper gestures at the TV, "Then I guess they'll be dumb enough to do just about anything."

< Earth > Soundwave gives an enthusiastic thumbs-up. "And knowing is half the battle!" Then the Decepticonz logo suddenly zooms in towards the screen against a black background. "DE-CEPT-TEE-CONNZZZZZZ!!!" Dramatic musical flourish. The End.

Soundwave stands up from his terminal, announcing, "I shall analyze critical reviews of the series as well as reactions from younger aged viewers some time later."

Scrapper finally manages to pry his eyes off the TV. "And I'm going to go to the medbay and make sure I haven't suffered brain damage from watching this drivel."

Even though the Decepticons aren't supposed to be playful with this situation. "Also, run a review on the most popular character. We can then use that one, as the protagonist of the series. If anything, it'll pull more children to watch."

Soundwave nods to the suggestions and continues to make his way out. He also hopes Galvatron decides to ignore this little operation, for various reasons. One of them being that he doesn't want to destabilize his state of mind more than it already has been...

Scrapper will let Soundwave deal with the most popular character thing. Being the humble Constructicon, he's cool no matter who gets picked. "Let me know when I'm needed for more voice work, Soundwave," he says. This way he can be far, far away! Bwahahaha!

Soundwave will be sure to find Scrapper when he knows that he has absolutely nothing else to do!