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Space Ambassador Washington and the Case of the Smashed Angel Delight

Who: Llyra, Velum, Carly Witwicky, Mute, Skullcruncher, Americon, Blades, Swindle
IC Year: 2034
Location: California
TP: The Cybertronian Potential

None



California

Covering almost 158,700 square miles, the Golden State contains everything from redwood and sequoia forests in the north, to the fertile Central Valley, to the deserts of the south and east. A land of contrasts, the lush beauty of forested national parks such as Redwood and Yosemite are matched by the harsh beauty of the Death Valley and Joshua Tree national parks. The coast, too, varies from waves dashing themselves at the foot of the rocky cliffs in the north to gentle swells lapping the sandy beaches in Southern California. The state is not only one of the most beautiful, but is also the most populous in the United States, concentrated mostly in major cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco.


As per the Autobot's request, Llyra has come for further negotiations regarding the pending war on Cybertron. She arrived on Earth a few days ago on a private shuttle accompanied by her most trusted bodyguards and advisors, Since being here, she's sampled a few things the planet has to offer such as food, music, and entertainment. Since this is her first time on Earth, it's all very overwhelming but exciting and for a bit she was able to forget about the responsibilities she held and the decisions she will have to make.. untill now.

Llyra sits in one of the many bars in San Francisco at a private booth. Well, the whole bar is private really since she waved her diplomatic privileges around and was able to eject every other patron from the premises. Posted at the door and by her table are her bodyguards, each one armed with assault weapons on full display and dressed in only the most flattering suits. Llyra herself is dressed extremely low key, trading her elegant gowns for the more common jeans and jacket. Her hair is pulled back into a bun and tucked under a baseball cap while her eyes are covered by a dark pair of designer aviator glasses. She seems to be hiding from the public, perhaps afraid of her reputation should it be known that she was meeting with 'the enemy' at a lowly dive bar.

The princess takes a sip of her craft beer and begins work on the greasy slice of pepperoni pizza one of the barstaff brings to her table as she awaits her negotiators.


Carly enters the bar wearing a casual jacket and a baseball cap on her head, a large bowl tucked under one arm, and a phone pressed to her ear in the other hand. "No, Spike," she says into the phone, "just call the plumber. Please call the plumber. Call the plumber, Spike. No, just call the plumber. Spike, call the plumber. No, no, don't. Just call the plumber.

She smiles as she walks over to Llyra's table. "Lady Llyra!" she announces brightly. "My name is Carly Witwicky of the EDC, on behalf of the EDC I would like to welcome to you Earth and present you with this traditional bowl of Angel Delight!" She puts the bowl down on the table in front of Llyra as a peace offering. It is full of Angel Delight.


Walking into the bar, Mute has opted to try and keep himself discreet. Walking in shortly behind Carly, he acts though he is her bodyguard (and he's bigger than the Nebulons). He too is wearing a baseball cap and moves quitely to stand behind Carly at Llyra. He reaches into a subspace pocket, and pulls out a chocolate cake, which he proceeds to place next to the bowl of Angel Delight before resuming his position standing behind Carly.


Bell UH-1V Iroquois <Blades> is... up in the air, loitering around, making sure that the airspace is clear. If any Seekers (or other Decepticons) try to barge in, they'll get a face full of Blades's rockets for their troubles!

If anyone asks, though, he is a traffic helicopter.


Following after Carly, having driven with her, followed along in another car, or simply stowed away in one of her pockets, is Ion Tzil'Macht. He is dressed just a tad bit more formally, his service uniform clean and pressed for what is possibly the second time for his life in the service. His hair is neat, his hands are clean and his shoes shine. It is rare to see him so polished. Smoothing down his shirt the blue-skinned, green-haired individual approaches Llyra just as soon as the que would allow.

Bending at the waist, he offers a slight bow, lips parting in a ernest.. if somewhat nervous smile, "Princess." he greets her.


Velum is rather surprised by Llyra's choice of meeting place today, not one to expect the flashy princess to hide from the public eye yet remain in plain sight. And while she's glad about not having to wear her uniform, it's still a little strange to be dressed in casuals when meeting the ruler of your planet. Attire is simple for now, just jeans and a tank top accompanied by her usual boots and a leather jacket. And yes, she has a regular sized prosthetic on to stay low-key.


The food offerings, though to be fair it does look good. Hopefully Llyra won't get addicted to human food, even if it is bland with the lack of mercury. "Llyra." Velum greets with a tip of her head before removing jacket and scooting into the booth opposite her. "Thank you for agreeing to see us. I've been eager to speak with you since.. well, since Craniax."


BEGIN COMMERCIAL

Some random Autobots are chasing Americon down a street in a well-animated sequence. "Oh no, how can I get away!?" Americon yells, darting down an alleyway. "I know! I'll don my DISGUISE!" He whips out a trenchcoat, fedora, and a big ugly mask. When the Autobots round the corner and enter the alley, they see only Americon in his disguise! "No Decepticons in here!" The Autobots look at him, look around, shrug, and keep running away. Americon pulls off the mask and smirks. "Works every time, in AMERICA!"

"NEW Disguise Action Actionmaster Americon is the PERFECT spy!" Victor Caroli claims, as some kid fiddles with weird attachments on an Americon Actionmaster toy. When he's slapped everything on, the "mask" has doubled Americon's head in size, the trenchoat is ill-fitting and doesn't cover everything, and the fedora is also way too big. "Wow, the Autobots can't tell he's not really a human!" says the kid playing with him.

"NEW FROM HASBRO!" The kid's eyes grow a terrifying shade of green as he robotically yells, "ROBOTS IN DISGUISE!"

END COMMERCIAL

Meanwhile, in the real world, A very weird person in a trenchcoat and large fedora sits in a booth.


AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO:

Mr. Grax shows up at the bar with his equally well-coiffed blonde date on his arm.

"I'm sorry, sir," protests the host, "but we're hosting a private diplomatic party in the bar tonight. Perhaps I could seat you on the patio?"

"Grax, P. E. Grax, you should see that I have a reservation, if you were to..." Grax protests, but he's cut off by a firm shake of the head and a repetition that no such reservation appears. His date looks bored. Grax mutters something unspeakably obscene under his breath in his own language. The maitre'd comes over and Grax tries unsuccessfully to bribe him. The process repeats. Grax hisses a vile threat at both men under his breath, adjusts his cufflinks, and leaves with his date.

HALF AN HOUR AGO:

Mr. Grax is covered in blood and laughing about something funny only to him.

NOW:

Mr. Grax comes back into the bar with a reservation and without a date, and seats himself near enough to Llyra that he can watch her with detached interest.

FOUR HOURS AND THIRTY MINUTES FROM NOW:

The host is driving home after working the closing shift when his car is suddenly snatched off of the Bay Bridge by a giant robot alligator. He is never seen again.


"Mrs. Witwicky," Llyra greets with a nod. "I have heard much about you. How's being married to a man brainwashed by giant alien robots working out for you?" Aaaand we're off to a great start! She eyes the bowl of Angel Delight and beckons one of her bodyguards over to taste it, just in case someone decided to try and poison her. Llyra is a bit paranoid it would seem. Ion also recieves a nod of greeting, though she spares him a backhanded compliment as she doesn't know much about him. Mute, on the other hand, is greeted with a sneer. Filthy robots..

Her attention is then shifted to Velum as she sits across from her and the princess pushes the desserts out of the way for later consumption. Or just to throw in the trash. Whichever. "Velum. I hope you realize this little meeting is taking a large chunk of my time I can't really afford to spend. Unlike you, I can't abandon my planet and my people to shmooze with robots who want to kill us." For now she ignores Grax's arrival and the shady dude in the corner with the trenchcoat though a few of her guards do keep a close eye on them.


It doesn't matter how hard you try, how many steps you cover up, how much effort you put into not being noticed. When you're a big dignitary visiting another planet on very important business, and taking in some of the sights in the process, word gets out. Word always gets out. Or the paparazzi wouldn't have a job in the first place. Fortunately, no one managed to take any compromising pictures of the princess-in-disguise.

Unfortunately, a photohound did stalk her long enough to find out about the bar, though the bodyguards promptly turned him away as they are paid to do.

But that didn't stop him from selling the location to a very interested contact minutes later, who didn't take long to meet up with said photog.

"This is it, this is the place." The greasy looking paparazzi reassures as the jeep pulls into a back alley.

"You're sure?" a voice emits from the jeep's console, a conveniently placed display flashing purple with the voice. "Seems not very... princessy."

"She's trying to keep it on the low, y'know? Now gimme my money."

"Oh, but of course, my good fellow. Thank you for doing business with the best." The glove compartment pops open, allowing a couple of credit-sticks to topple out.

And as soon as the guy grabs them, the entire Jeep rises up, holding him out by the collar of his gritty hoodie. "Now get out of my face so I can get to work." Unceremoniously he drops the photog in a dumpster and slaps the lid shut, then edges back up against the wall of the building. Hmmm. Just need to find an air system or some such....

The jeep flips back and up, revealing a lean mean black market machine.


Carly looks taken aback somewhat at Llyra's words. "No, no, I only went out with your dad once, and that wasn't even a date, it was a work thing, and /oh/, you mean Spike." She rolls her eyes. "No-one is brainwashed by robots, Llyra. I hope that by seeing our wonderful planet you can realise that Transformer and organic beings can live together in perfect partnership! Surely the binary bonding of many of your own countrymen is proof of that!"


Combat: Bell UH-1V Iroquois <Blades> compares his Intelligence to 60: Success!


<Autobot> Blades says, "Iiiii think I see something in the alley? Should I take a look or maintain loiter?"


If Mute is in any way insulted by the sneer, well nobody would be able to tell since his face continues to just glow blue with nothing on it just now. He really should get a better screensaver sometime. While Carly continues her discussion with Llyra, Mute looks over the various parties in the bar. His gaze lingers on the trench coated figure before moving on. He's sure he's seen that trench coat in an advert somewhere.


One might be wondering why the bar let in the strange man with the trenchcoat. Well, it turns out that there's also an alien dignitary who said he was going to attend the meeting, as well, and said he was going to show up in a trenchcoat, fedora, and mask, just like what he saw in some human movie once. Alas, he did not realize the severity of San Francisco traffic at certain hours, and is stuck.

But Americon, of course, can fly around in eagle mode and has no such problems! "Wilco Tango Foxtrot," Americon whispers into a communicator, then tries to take a seat closer to Llyra. He gets out a camera, zooming in on the Angel Delight Carly gifted to Llyra. "The human gave the Nebulan chick some sort of creamy disgusting substance! I am not sure if it is American!"


<Autobot> Carly Witwicky says, "Blades, be careful, club alleyways are not wholesome places"


<Autobot> Blades says cheerily, "They're a great place to end up in a dumpster... or two."


Velum is right there with Llyra's guards, not too keen on seeing other people here aside from those invited with her. Hrm, she'll have to worry about them later though. For now she just looks to the others accompanying her and offers them a nod along with a pleased smile. "Thank you coming, by the way, everyone. Also, it's good to see you again, Ion. Been a while." Sure, they work for the same people, but that doesn't mean they always see one another.


Back to Llyra, who gets a flat look and a slight raise of brow at her comment. "Considering you came here several days before the meeting, I imagine you found some time to spare." The talk of robots however doesn't sit very well with her, gaze hardening a little. "That's nowhere near the truth and you know it, Llyra. The Cybertronians haven't stepped foot, nor planned to, ever since they left Nebulos. The only things in danger of being killed is the Cybertronians themselves. Which is why I called you here." She leans in, looking deadly serious. "Llyra, are you still willing to needlessly fight this battle? Even after the Coalition's attack, the hostages, and Galen's fight with your father? Have you even considered visiting him in the hospital yet?"


Bell UH-1V Iroquois <Blades> allows his flight plan to drift closer to being above that alley. He thought he saw something fishy going on down there, and well, if it is just swamp gas, he could always light it on fire. Wait, no, Hot Spot would slap him. That would be dumb. Maybe there will be rats he can kill?

Pretending to be a traffic helicopter is boring.


Mr. Grax is wonderfully unremarkable. Remarkable mainly in how much he looks like so many other people. He almost appears to be made of plastic. Silicone, maybe. He could be a TV star if you didn't mind the cold eyes. He meets Mute's passing gaze but rather than catching his "eye," as much as one could with Mute having that sort of a face, Grax more accurately looks through or past him like he was part of the decor. He orders a Tom Collins and nurses it while alternating between watching Llyra and playing with a bar coaster.


"You went on a date with my fath- I mean.. with Zarak?" Llyra frowns and pushes her plate off the table in disgust, letting it shatter on the ground. "I no longer have an appetite. Guards, please dispose of this food so I no longer have to look at it and feel sick." One of the guards grabs the bowl of Angel Delight and the cake and drags it outside where he begins shooting it, stopping only when he runs out of bullets. He lights a cigarette and silently wonders how his career got to this point.

Llyra meets Velum's serious expression with her own stern look. "Yes, I plan on continuing my course of action to destroy Cybertron. Yes, even after the hostage situation and the battle with Zarak and Galen. As for your third question, well, I'm not sure that's any of your business, is it? How about we stick to the topics this negotiation is actually focused on and keep my personal affairs out of it?" For the record, she HAS considered visiting Galen in the hospital but doing so without the media finding out would be impossible. What would the tabloids say if they knew she was going to see her ex-boyfriend, the one binary bonded to one of the first Headmasters to arrive on their planet for that matter, in the hospital?


"Very good, it's been too long." replies Ion to Velum, his smile dimming to something less forced and more sincere. Back to the matter at hand, however. "Waging a war like this can only hurt our people, Princess." he attempts to appeal to her, bringing a chair to the open side of the booth and claiming himself a seat there. "Nebulos does have a place in this battle but I do not think it is the place you have chosen. Not all Cybertronians wish us harm."


Either ignorant or uncaring of the helicopter puttering around overhead, just like he's ignoring the thumping about in the dumpster, Swindle slinks along the side of the building until he finds what he's looking for. It just takes a short tug with his grappler to pull the grating off of the bar's AC vent. "That will do." He pulls a spherical device out of subspace and is -just- about to set the controls when his radio crackles.


There's Decepticons in there spying? "Oh, bother." He looks at the explosive device again. It's only Americon. Wouldn't be much of a loss... if he wasn't one of Soundwave's and would certainly be noticed as missing. Surely Onslaught will understand if he doesn't go through with just blowing the place up to dispose of all the important Human and Nebulon officials inside. Zarak's daughter be damned, it would of been a crushing military maneuver.

With a sigh Swindle puts the bomb away, and pulls out a tiny winged wedge shape instead. "Well, fortunately I have a backup plan. And got a few supplies from the Spy Planet beforehand." Swindle tosses the device up into the vent, then opens an arm panel to tap into it's remote controls with his own comm-link. "Let's see here now..."

The little spy-drone hums softly to life, and starts to putter through the ducts trying to find the main barroom.....


Carly looks absolutely devastated as Llyra orders the execution of her gift. Inwardly, she thanks her lucky stars that she didn't go with her original plan of gifting Llyra a kitten. "No, I didn't that is what I am saying. Anyway, surely you realise that if you destroy Cybertron you will just make the Decepticons angry and likely destroy Nebulos in return? Where do you think all those Transformers across the galaxy will go if you blow up their home? Earth has been a key stone in the war for years, and we're doing fine. There's no reason why the rest of the galaxy which is less involved can't live in even more peace." She picks up a drinks menu and starts to cross out all the rude cocktail names with a pen before handing it to Mute. "Mute, perhaps some drinks might clear the air a bit?"


Bell UH-1V Iroquois <Blades> flies closer and closer to the alley, and he is rewarded beyond his wildest dreams - a Combaticon! The Protectobot then resumes his traffic route, but when judges hismelf out of earshot, he transforms and lands on a roof. Then he begins to creep roof over roof towards Swindle.

Bell UH-1V Iroquois <Blades> transforms into his Blades mode.


The well-manicured businessman on the other side of the bar says something about how it makes him sick too. Well, he might've said something different, the music's a little loud. But it sounds like he said "your mistreatment at that robot's hands also makes me physically sick! Let me buy you a drink!"


<Autobot> Carly Witwicky says, "Mute get a round of drinks in"


<Autobot> Carly Witwicky says, "No rude ones"


If you have E-Senses, Grax actually sounded more like he said "your heart still beating, and not in my robot's hand, also makes me physically sick! I should poison your drink!" But he was smiling when he said it. And he does buy her a drink. So that couldn't be it. The music's kind of loud.


Mr. Grax raises a toast to the princess with his own glass. "To a free Nebulon!" it sounds like he says.


Velum grimaces at the sound of shattering china and eyes the guard as it takes the gift food outside for execution. Those poor desserts, not even a day old. "They make good points." A gesture to Carly and Ion. "None of us want you in this war, Llyra. We fought the first time around to keep Nebulos safe, and you'll just be throwing that peave away if you jump into this war. Which brings me to my next point." She pulls a datapad from subspace and turns it to Llyra, Silas' mug staring from it. "I imagine K'Gard talked you into joining the Coalition, but our guess is that this man is the one who convinced him first. The problem, however, is that he's done this before with Earth, nearly dragging it to its death. Llyra, I won't allow Nebulos to be another victim to him, nor you."


"I don't care if this is something born of revenge, it's not the right choice. As its leader your first duty is to protect Nebulos, and right now you're not doing that. ...Nor are you even securing this place properly." A glare at Grax and trench coat guy in particular.


Apparently Mute will never find out if that cake was a good choice. Though on the plus side it could have been bad since he raided the Witwicky cupboard for it. Without aknowledging the request, Mute moves to the bar and projects a picture of the drinks he wants. While he waits for the barman to oblige his order, he turns to look at the well-manicured businessman. He stares at him, almost as though he heard every word the guy had said. Or at least might have done (you would think hanging around Blaster would make one immune to loud music).


Suddenly, the trenchcoated man hurries out of the bar without explanation when he hears gunshots! Eventually he returns, standing in the doorway, and it's fortunate that his terrible mask can't convey facial expressions, as he's utterly devastated. In his hands is the bowl of Angel Delight, or what's left of it.

"I was... too late," Americon says sadly.


A waitress brings the drink Grax ordered and sets it on the table in front of Llyra. Llyra glances at one of her guards who sighs and takes the glass in hand, bringing it to his lips and taking a sip. He immediately passes out and is dragged outside by another guard, hopefully not to be shot amongst the desserts.


Llyra frowns at Velum. "What do you expect me to do, Velum? I'm not a leader! I never wanted to be a leader! I never wanted any of this responsibility. I was sixteen! All I wanted to do was flirt with boys and go shopping but then all THIS happened and now I have a whole planet to look out for." She crosses her arms and looks away as she continues. "I'm at a loss here. I've already put so much effort into trying to convince Nebulos that this was the right decision even though I know it's not." GASP. "You don't need to tell me how horrible of an idea it is to even suggest getting involved in another war but what am I supposed to do? I can't just 'change my mind' after all this, it would make me look even worse than I already do to the public. You have no idea what kind of bullshit I have to put up with, bullshit you will never have to deal with." She looks back at Velum and sighs. "I don't see any other alternative other than continuing with my initial plans."


<Autobot> Scoop click-click. "Is this on? Hello? Tracer you didn't short out my comm again did you?" "Holepunch is the one that insisted on interfacing it to a GPS unit, not me." "But it needed network access for the proper geographic cross-referencing."


<Autobot> Velum says, "Scoop, Holepunch, Tracer, good to hear from you three again."


Carly winces as Llyra uses a naughty swear word. She did not realise the Nebulan was so far gone. "People always complain here about politicians never changing their minds when the evidence stacks up against what they plan. There's no shame in doing the right thing! There's more shame in following a course of action that you know is wrong and will lead to the deaths of millions! I-" Her phone rings. She picks it up. "Not now Spike, call a plumber. No Spike, call a plumber. No, call a plumber, Spike, call a plumber."

She hangs up. "If you want to save face and make the right choice, then surely we could help think up some way to make an excuse for a u-turn?"


<Autobot> Scoop says, "Hello miss, it's good to hear you too!" "Does she actually have clearance for this frequency?" "Shut up Holepunch."


Deciding to let a waitress take the drinks back to the table, since Mute figures his presence can't be a good thing, the tapebot continues to watch Grax. While doing so he also sends two text messages. The first to Spike with the radio frequency for Plumbotron. The second to Carly simply stating: Use the crazy aliens the Coalition used as cannon fodder. Reverse decision based on ethical grounds.


Alas, Swindle doesn't notice the Protectobot crawling about overhead, he's too busy watching the screen as he tries to navigate the remote camera-drone throught the duct work. Finally he gets it to a vent above and not too far away from the gathering... and then discovers it's only a camera-drone, and doesn't have an audio input. "Slag it, maybe I should of sprung for the more expensive model." Oh well, at least he can still watch.


Americon slowly approaches Llyra, hands shaking, holding the shards of the bowl that once held the creamy custard. "You... you..." Then Contrail suggests they can reconsitute the custard! "...oh! Uh, ahem! So, uh, Miss Lira!" Americon says, stuffing the shards into the pockets of his jacket as he continues to approach Llyra. "Uh, my name is SPACE AMBASSADOR..." What's a good alien name? "...WASHINGTON, and I am here to help conduct negotations or whatever we are doing here! Say, how about that war? I have heard it is not going so well and maybe we should just call it quits and live in America?"


Blindsided, Ion rocks back in his chair, lips parted but mute of any words. Ion built things, he fixed them, on the rare occasion he fought them... but he never politiced them.

He is baffled until a helpful ambassador of space intervenes...

With brows furrowed, Ion tries to make sense of this new proposal as well, "America might not be the best Idea... You might like France a little better?"


Blades continues creeping rooftop over rooftop until he's on the roof behind Swindle. He drops down. Blades tries to be quiet, but he's not actually sneaky, so Swindle may hear him. The Protectobot draws one of his namesakes as he approaches...


Velum is very, /very/ tempted to just smack Llyra to shut her up and make her listen, but she reins herself back in away the urge and just sighs. "I know you didn't choose your path in life, Llyra. None of us did, but we have to give our best. And there's no shame in withdrawing. I imagine everyone would actually be grateful to keep things as they were before this started." Any drinks that are brought over are waved away from her, the woman not keen on drinking during meetings.


"And you're wrong. I deal with problems every day, on two planets, no less. Granted they're not political, but still. I--" She's cut off by one of the shifty people in the back now approaching the table, Velum leveling gaze on him and giving him a scrutinous look. "I don't recall there ever being an Ambassador Washington. And this is a closed meeting. I suggest you see yourself out, sir."


Mr. Grax frowns, intensely but very briefly, as if it was a facial tic, at Llyra having one of her guards drink the Cosmo he sent her. He immediately replaces it with a bland smile and a 'what can you do' sort of shrug, and gets up to use the restroom.

IN THE RESTROOM:

Mr. Grax punches a wall and screams into his fist, then goes into a stall.


"Well that's just rude," Swindle murmurs when the guard drinks the drink sent to Llyra. Even if it is the sensible thing to do to avoid her getting poisoned. He fiddles with the controls, trying to get a better angle on the camera... Then pauses with a few bits of dislodged grit from the roof overhead clatters down next to him. The Combaticon turns a bit, expecting it to be the annoyed paparazzi again, but he does reach down for his pistol with the other hand, just in case. "I told you, that's all the payment you're getting."


<Autobot> Velum says, "Where've you guys been, anyway?"


Llyra /stares/ at the oddly dressed man who is totally a man and not an overly patriotic robot eagle. She looks up at Kronk, her bodyguard and third cousin twice removed from Krunk, and he steps forward. weapon drawn on the fedora wearing figure. "Step away from the woman, Mister Washington," Kronk says gruffly.

"I think it's time I came clean," Llyra says, taking another sip of her non-poisoned beer. "I don't really care about the Autobots. I don't really care about the Decepticons for that matter either. I care that they came to our planet, took our men, and then ran off only after we poisoned our own atmosphere, yes.. but what I really care about, the only reason I even bothered keeping my poisition in politics instead of handing it over to a more experienced advisor.." She clenches a fist. "I want to show my father that I can do it, that I can fill the shoes he left behind. Or atleast that's what I wanted to do at first.. now I just want him to come back home and stop being the head of a psychopathic scorpion monster."


<Autobot> Scoop | Tracer deadpans, "Don't let Holepunch insist on stopping to ask for directions." "Oh it didn't take that long." "It did when you kept fussing over him being a mess. Junkions are suppose to look like that." "He looked worse than Landfill does!" Scoop just chuckles softly and mutes the comm so the bickering is in the background. "Off planet. Decepticons have splinter cells all over the place that need rooting out after all."


Americon frowns at Ion. "France!? France is full of..." Careful, don't give yourself away, Americon! "...uh, non-Americans! And that. Is. Okay." He pauses. Finally, Velum rebukes him, and Kronk even draws a gun on him! "Woah, woah!" Americon says, holding his hands up. "I see how it is. I didn't realize you guys were a bunch of SPACE RACISTS against my people, the, uh..." Think of a good alien name! "...Wisconsonites! I'll just be over here, in the segregated booth or something!" He baaaacks away slowly.


Carly looks at the message Mute sends her. She shakes her head. She doesn't think that crazy aliens can help fix the toilet. A lightbulb snaps on in her mind though. "Larraman Jrames!" she exclaims. "Llyra, the Coalition was using the inhabitants of Larraman Jrames as disposable troopers for your war. Citizens who were ill and denied medication. If you wanted a reason to back out, what better reason than that?"

She makes a sad face at Llyra, and offers her a drink from the waitress that she has totally been ignoring. The drink is pink and has a kiwi in it. "Families are important. But there's probably easier and more responsible ways to show him you need him than by blowing up Cybertron, and most likely killing him."


Swindle sees no one, shrugs a bit, and goes back to watching his camera-drone.


"If by 'fill his shoes' you mean follow the warmonger's path and put your people in harm's way, then you're on the right track." Velum says with a sour hint to her words. Clearly she's unimpressed with this meeting as Llyra has yet to change, which she makes all too clear when she suddenly stands. "You two take over for me. I need to have another chat with someone.." A look to Carly and Ion means she's tagging them in to take her place, Velum not saying another word and leaving jacket behind while stalking to the restrooms and entering the mens, allowing the door to shut behind her.

With Grax in a stall she just stands near one of the hand dryers and speaks, "I'm not surprised you managed to get in. But what I'm wondering is why you're even here i the first place. Bit of spy duty?"


<Autobot> Velum says, "You picked a good time to come back, I'll give you that."


<Autobot> Blades says, "This is as much self-control as you will EVER see from me. I'm behind Swindle in a dark alley, and I want to stab him. Will it ruin anything diplomatic if I do?"


Mute pauses to watch the 'space ambassador' approach and get sent packing from Llyras table. He then proceeds to make he way into the toilet as quietly as a bigger than human robot can. Curious to see what the manicured guy is up to. Apparently he is not the first to go in there as he walks in to see Velum there. As he holds the door open he looks at Velum, then at the door which clearly shows the international symbol for 'men' on the door, and then looks back to Velum. A big red question mark appears on his face screen.


<Autobot> Scoop says, "Yeah, I know. Word got to us even out there in the depths of space. We would of returned sooner, but had to finish the mission we were on, first."


Carly turns to see Velum enter the mens toilets. Then Mute. "Well," she mutters to herself, "I'm surprised but not /shocked/..."


Mr. Grax sniffs deeply as he comes back out of the stall, clearing his throat pointedly at Velum as he goes to wash his hands. The fact that she's in the men's room doesn't seem to actually bother him, probably becaus he's not an Earthling, but he does remark on it. "On the other hand, I'm not wondering at all why you're here."


<Autobot> Velum says, "Either way, glad to have you back. And uh.. I don't think so, Blades? Just try not to crash through a wall or something."


The planet LJ and the condition of it's people forced into war was news to Llyra, probably because she's ordered a block on all outside media on Nebulos. Hell, the only stuff allowed on air is stuff she approves lately which is all PSAs about how Zarak is the devil and commercials about joining the army. Velum's words cut her deep with how truthful they are and Llyra can only seethe in anger as the other women rises and departs for.. the men's toilets? Llyra narrows her eyes and begins to question everything she thought she knew about Velum.

The princess sits back and lets out an exhausted sigh. ".../Perhaps/ it is time I sit down and reconsider my future plans for Nebulos."


Blades has used up all his self control today. All of it. The rest of his day is now going to be spent doing his slaggingest to chop Swindle up and hide his pieces in three different dumpsters or, in other words, unbridled hedonism. He extends his sword arm and lunges at Swindle, exclaiming, "A rat!"

He doesn't know that's Shakespeare.

Combat: Blades strikes Swindle with his Rotor Blade attack! [Pulled -3]


Americon watches everyone enter the stall suspiciously. Clearly SOMETHING nefarious is going on in there! "UH. Excuse me, but I just realized that I need to do the peeing ritual! I will RETURN... IN AMERICA!" And so he shuffles off... into the women's restroom.

Americon stands in the women's restroom, marveling at how clean and pink it is. "Wow! I had no idea it was like this in here! Wait, I'm in the WOMEN'S restroom! They went in the MEN'S restroom! How silly of me! But wait, maybe there's a way I can discretely watch them from in here!" He enters an immaculate stall, hangs up his disguise on the coat hanger inside, then transforms into eagle mode to thrust his beak into the wall between restrooms like a woodpecker. They can hear it on the other side--THWACK THWACK THWACK!


"That's good to hear." Carly gives a reassuring smile at Llyra. "And if ever you need any help or advice you can..." She turns around in shock. "Space Ambassador Washington has just entered the women's toilets!" she exclaims.


"..." Swindle swivels the camera drone's position in the air vent to make sure to get shots of the female Nebulan going into the MEN'S bathroom. Well, if nothing else he can sell those to some tabloid and start a smear campain on the EDC. Of some sort. He'll figure out the details later.

But that's probably why he doesn't notice Blades until the Protectobots drops in and shouts, wheeling around just in time to get swiped with the blade. With a grunt he falls backwards on his aft, one hand going to cover the slash put in his armor. "I knew this was going too well to last."

The other hand snaps up and fires off a quick shot from his pistol and toss Blades across the alley with the gyroscopic pulse.


Velum doesn't expect Mute to follow as well, so the tape gets quite the raise of a brow when the door opens beside her to show him there. "Just having a chat. Mind closing the door, Mute?" Whether he comes in or stays out is his own business, as right now Velum is more concerned with Grax, turning back to him and narrowing gaze at his comment. "You know, it's bad form to try and poison a world leader. Especially your own. You planning on leaving after freshening up, or will I have to escort you myself?"

The pecking at the wall gets a momentary glance. Are they doing construction..?


Combat: Swindle strikes Blades with his Gyro Gun attack!


Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Blades's Agility. (Crippled)


International pictograms are powerless against the ignorence of extra-terrastrial entities.


Ion fumbles with ideas of suggestions or advice to someone that has the weight of a entire planet resting on her shoulders. Instead, he just manages to sit uncomfortably for a few moments until the weight of the happenings squeezes a few words out of him, "I-" he begins only to be cut short by Carly's exclimation. Ion shrinks in his seat, the already short man sagging further, "...Normal bars are not usually like this, Princess."


You whisper, "Go in after the Space Ambassador, make sure he is okay!" to Ion Tzil'macht.


<Autobot> Scoop says, "Do I even want to ask how that... meeting is proceeding?" "Hopefully they are following proper diplomatic protocol. I can bring up a reference corrospondence if you need some advice, miss." "Holepunch, relax. Velum knows better than to cause a political incidence, I'm sure."


Ion Tzil'macht whispers: But that is the lady's room!


You whisper, "I can hardly be caught with a male Space Ambassador in the toilets, it would not be decent!" to Ion Tzil'macht.


Ion Tzil'macht whispers: How would it be any better for two men to be seen in the woman's bathroom together?!


You whisper, "Well, then people would know there is nothing funny going on!" to Ion Tzil'macht.


<Autobot> Velum says, "As much protocol as meeting in a human bar allows."


Blades is struck by Swindle's gyro gun, which doesn't cover Blades in delicious tzatziki sauce. Instead, it just scrambles his sensors and makes it hard for Blades to walk. "Nnng!" he groans. Then he demands, "What are you up to, Swindle!?" He tries to grab Swindle to shake him, hard.


Combat: Blades strikes Swindle with his Milkshake (Punch) attack!


Ion Tzil'macht whispers: I do not think that is how this works...


"Well then.. I believe this little meeting is finished," Llyra says, rising to her feet and brushing herself off. "At least for now. I intend on staying on Earth a few days longer. I have.. things to attend to." She glances over at one of her bodyguards who is already using his Space iPhone (tm) to GPS directions to the hospital Galen is staying at. "Tell Velum after she's done using the urinals that if she wishes to speak with me further to get in contact with my chief advisor on Nebulos for contact information. I'm sure she'll understand that I don't wish to spread this information around right here."


Deciding Velum knows what she is doing, Mute looks again at Grax, silenting scanning him in for later investigation. He is about to leave when there's pecking at the wall. He the proceeds into the toilet letting the door close. He steps into the cubicle where the source of the noise is coming from. He places a hand on the wall gently and analyses the noise, his face screen showing a visual representation of his analysis. Deciding it is a metallic source, and likely to not be a human banging against the wall, Mute pulls out one of his tonfa. Spinning it for a second to give it some momentum, Mute thrusts his weapon into the wall right where a hole is likely to appear if the pecking is left unchecked.


Americon does not stop pecking, of course, and soon his beak bursts through the wall--right into Mute's tonfa! CLONK! "GAAAH!" Americon yells as his beak gets a nasty dent, and in his surprise he flings himself back, right through the stall door, ripping it off its hinges. He slams up against a sink and a mirror, smashing both to pieces. "UH, I'M OKAY!" he yells in a futile attempt to keep his cover, flopping around the floor with shards of porcelain and glass under him. "I FELL!"


Carly nods at Llyra. "Of course. It was very nice to meet you. Now I must make sure the space ambassador is okay." Shooting a glare at Ion, she turns and enters the ladies loos to try to find Americon and prevent a diplomatic incident. "Hello?" she says as she walks into the toilets, only to see a robot bird flapping about. "HEY!" she shouts. "This is the WOMENS TOILETS!"


Swindle attempts to duck the swing, but even with the scrambling Blades is much better at CQC and manages to rattle the Combaticon around. For a moment he's held there, raising an optic ridge at Blades. "Really? A crucial political meeting is going on inside and you have to ask?" But he doesn't elaborate on the matter of what he's actually doing, because that would be giving it away too easily. "How about we discuss something more akin to our own interests instead, hmmm?"


Swindle does his best to squirm himself free. "Do you have any idea how many planets, with the Coalitions' extravagant activities, have begun trying to develope anti-transformer weaponry? You think Cross's work was horrific to experience?" Of course such an enterprenuring Decepticon has a fancy toy for every occasion. He whips a short stocky blaster out of subspace, points the glowing aprature at Blades and squeezes the trigger, unleashing a bolt of corruptive energy at the protectobot. "Check out this sample I picked up off the intergalactic black markets! And be glad Shockwave turned down my suggestion to modify it to use Dark Energon."


Danger and embaressment averted, Ion chickens out on discovering the eagle.


The blue nebulon raises to his feet with word of the princess' departure. Being the last man standing... not in a bathroom, Ion inclines himself in another poor gesture of a bow, "Have a good trip back to your hotel, Princess llyra."


Combat: Swindle strikes Blades with the Swindle-forged Energon Corruptor attack!


While he was about to go out one toilet and in the ladies via the door, Mute decides since Carly has put herself in harms way (now we know where Daniel gets that habit), Mute decides to abuse the weakened wall to simply smash through. Well this is only a bar, chances are the walls are just plasterboard anyway. And so he takes a few steps back, charges and crashes through the wall into the ladies toilet. As his head turns to look at Carly before he checks out the robot bird, one of the cisterns that are up near the roof (crazy toilet designs) falls down onto Mutes head. For one his face screen can't be seen, instead Mute is a cassettebot with a toilet cistern for a head.


Skullcruncher stares at Velum for a long time as he dries his immaculately manicured hands fastidiously under the blower. Specifically at her neck. "Hmm? Sorry, I wasn't listening. So, were you going to assume the position, or are you waiting for... ah, the Autobots join us." He glances at Mute as he comes in. "There's nothing for you here, robot." Grax's fingers twitch as the rythmic slapping noise comes through the wall. Does anyone NOT want his attention in the men's room?


Grax stares at Velum for a long time as he dries his immaculately manicured hands fastidiously under the blower. Specifically at her neck. "Hmm? Sorry, I wasn't listening. So, were you going to assume the position, or are you waiting for... ah, the Autobots join us." He glances at Mute as he comes in. "There's nothing for you here, robot." Grax's fingers twitch as the rythmic slapping noise comes through the wall. Does anyone NOT want his attention in the men's room?


<Autobot> Blades makes a weirdly gurgling splooshy noise.


<Autobot> Scoop says, "That sounded unpleasant. You guys okay over there?"


"UH, SORRY, I thought this was the EAGLE'S room!" Americon says, flopping about and flinging bits of debris everywhere as he tries to right himself. Then Mute bursts in like the Kool-Aid Man... and unlike the Kool-Aid Man, gets a cistern on his head. Americon realizes this is his chance to get out of here before he's blasted! "Uh, so, you didn't see me, human!" He grabs his diguise from where it fell on the floor, and even manages to put it on--sort of. His long wings stick out the sleeves of his trenchcoat, feathers and all, and his mask is just sort of pulled near the breaking point over his beak for a really disturbing look. At least the fedora fits okay. "EXCUSE ME!" Americon yells as he tries to eagle-waddle past Carly.


Blades watches his own energon comes seeping out of his body, warped and twisted to a sickly puce hue. The Protectobot has... never been this fascinated. Wow, this is so cool to watch! he could trip out watching this, seriously, but...

Business before pleasure. He growls, "Swindle, Swindle, Swindle. I think we both know that your courage is only as high as the shanix are stacked! And I don't think they're paying you enough to withstand the pain I'm going to put you through. That, and think about the repair bill you'll save on if you spill the beans now."

He pulls out his photon pistol and ties to blow Sweindle's optics out for the moment.


Combat: Blades strikes Swindle with his Photon Pistol attack!


Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Swindle's Accuracy. (Blinded)


<Autobot> Blades burgle wuuggedy bleargh.


Carly looks at Americon in confusion. She is pretty sure that robot talking birds are not normal, but then again he has the Space Ambassador's clothes. "Just a minute, where's Space Ambassador Washington?" She points an accusing finger at Americon, and then Mute bursts in through the wall with a cistern on his head. She angrily gets her phone out and presses speeddial. "NO SPIKE," she half-shouts into it. "I know you didn't get Plumbotron to fix the toilet because he's standing RIGHT HERE!"


Assume the position? Not the best thing to say to a woman like Velum, who gains a nasty sneer. "Tch, just shut up before I decide to clock you." She'd gladly fight Grax without Skullcruncher nearby, but she's not about to throw the first punch. "Let's go, you're done here." With Mute 'kool-aid man'ing through the bathroom wall Velum takes the opportunity amongst the commotion to strike out with robotic arm and try to grab up Grax by his fancy business suit and drag him from the restroom.

Hopefully Llyra's left by now, cause things are starting to get crazy.


Skullcruncher transforms into his Mr. Grax mode.


Combat: Velum strikes Mr. Grax with her Grab attack!


Fortunately, Llyra left quite some time ago for her hotel. There's no way in hell she'd want to be caught in the middle of what's going on at the bar right now.


<Autobot> Firestar says, "And that didn't sound any better. What is going on?"


<Autobot> Mute texts: Swindle outside with Blades, myself and Carly in toilet with a Space Ambassador eagle thing. Possibly not a Space Ambassador, can't see for the cistern on my head.


<Autobot> Blades says, "The most wonderful... er... I'm bleeding out this fantastic shade of puce? From. Every seam on my frame. Er. Swindle shot me."


<Autobot> Jetfire says, "Blades, are you in need of assistance?"


Mr. Grax's eyes go wide as Velum grabs him by his shoulder. He's going to have to get that pressed! And then burned, because she touched it with her hand. Her filthy robot hand. To what is probably NOT Velum's surprise, she'll find that under his suit his torso is hard to the touch- armored. He didn't come unprepared. "Have you ever listened to the music they play in public restrooms? I mean, really listened to it?" asks Mr. Grax, reaching into his suit jacket with his free left hand and pulling out some kind of yellow plastic gun with a strange shape, which he fires from point-blank range. It has a very quiet report, a sort of whistling snap.


<Autobot> Carly Witwicky says, "I would like to clarify that we are just assisting the Space Ambassador"


"... That was worse looking than I expected" Swindle replies as he lowers the still glowing weapon. Looks down at it. "Prehaps I shall have to label it with a psychological disruptiong as well." He shrugs and stows it away. "And true enough! Though there is also the matter of wanting to avoid having another bomb stuck in my processor cortex." And then he's flashed! Fortunately by a blinding light and not someone ripping open their trenchcoat. "Gah, I hate those things!" Swindle stumbles backwards as he rubs his optics with the back of a hand. While using the other to pull out his generic sidearm and fire in the general direction Blades was before he so rudely overloaded his optical sensors.


Combat: Mr. Grax sets his defense level to Fearless.


Combat: Swindle strikes Blades with his Why yes despite everything else at my disposal I do still carry generic armaments why do you ask? (Laser) attack!


Combat: Mr. Grax strikes Velum with his Pneumatic Nailgun attack! [Pulled -3]


Combat: That attack has slowed Velum, making her less efficient.


<Autobot> Scoop says, ".. In.. Toliet... uuuuuh is this some human tradition I am unaware of? Other than standard lavatory use...."


Blades shouts at Swindle, "That gun was boring! You should be /ashamed/ of yourself! It'll ruin your bad repuation of weirdo... bleed-out puce guns." Blades is still bleeding, and he kind of wants to take some time just watching himself, but no, he has to beat up Swindle. He comes at Swindle with an overhead chop.


Combat: Blades strikes Swindle with his Rotor Blade attack!


"SPACE AMBASSADOR WASHINGTON, HE UH, HE IS DEAD!" Americon yells at Carly, and since she presumably didn't get out of the way, he's just going to barrel on right past her!


"Nothin's gonna stand in my way! Not tonight!" Americon squawks as he tries to bust through into the bar, where he will immediately try to scurry out the front door, his big wings awkwardly knocking over all the tables in the way.


Americon's robot legs pop out metallic feather-like objects as they and his lower torso split apart, also revealing an eagle head. The arms and robot head join the main body, and his guns convert into tail feathers and rocket launchers. Americon is now a bald eagle!

Combat: Robotic Bald Eagle <Americon> sets his defense level to Fearless.

Combat: Robotic Bald Eagle <Americon> strikes Carly Witwicky with his NOTHIN'S GONNA STAND IN MY WAY (Punch) attack!

Combat: You took 7 damage.


"DEAD?" Carly squeals in horror, eyes wide both at the needless loss of life of the lovely Space Ambassador who so liked her Angel Delight, and at the terrible diplomatic incident this is sure to create. And on her watch, too! She is thrown violently to the side by Americon, grasping out at his robot tail as he tries to scurry past. "You won't get away with this!"


Combat: Carly Witwicky misses Robotic Bald Eagle <Americon> with her Tail snatch (Punch) attack!


While he can't see a thing currently, Mute can hear everything perfectly. He hears the attack in the toilet he just left, and he hears the eagle trying to make a beeline past Carly. He doesn't fancy crashing through another wall till he at least has a jug of juice. So instead he dives for the eagle attempting to grab it and prevent it from leaving. And hopefully smash this cistern by headbutting it at the same time.


Combat: Mute strikes Robotic Bald Eagle <Americon> with his "Cistern to the wing!" (Grab) attack!


How are suits even able to hide the *Master armor? It will forever be a mystery. The feeling beneath the cloth gives her pause however, Velum eyeing the man warily while turning head away to grab the bathroom door handle, ready to haul his ass out of the bar. "Hn, spare me the-- Hk!" She's cut off by a sudden sting in her abdomen, expression twisting with pain as she looks down to the nail piercing her midsection and spot of blood steadily bleeding into her shirt. That's gonna hurt later. But right now she's not even worrying.


 Slowly, calmly, she lets the door close again and lifts gaze to stare Grax down, fingers already flexing in anticipation. "That was a mistake." And without another word she snarls and flings herself at the Headmaster, already reeling back a punch aimed at his face with metal fist.


Combat: Velum sets her defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Velum strikes Mr. Grax with her Left Hook (Kick) attack!


"As for that repair bill, I'll send it to your group leader!" It's mostly an empty threat, because Swindle wouldn't waste the change on a stamp, but it's the sort of threat people like him make anyways. "I dunno, maybe you're not worth it. First Aid screams more. So does that Empty dame... whatever her name was. Eh. Not important." Ten bucks says he remembers Shiftlock's name just fine and is being a jerk about her former street punk status.


Then comes the rotor-blade sword down, sparks and shredded metal flying as it digs deep into Swindle's shoulder, severing something pretty important. I mean, look at all those sparks. They don't animate that for flesh wounds! Despite a hiss, Swindle glances down at the comm-screen in his arm. "Huh. Looks like the -real- plan is under way." Not that he can see what's really going on, but that doesn't mean he can't make Blades feel bad about being out here instead. "Too late for you, though." Swindle shoves his cannon in Blades' midsection and fires, hopefully before the Protectobot can pull away again.


Combat: Swindle sets his defense level to Aggressive.

Combat: Swindle strikes Blades with his Point Blank Retaliation attack!


"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Americon yells at Carly as he brutally batters her aside. But just as he's almost out the door, Mute seizes him by his trenchcoat! "SQUAWK!" he cries, flapping his wings uselessly, struggling to get free. "Bah! Well, okay, I lied. It turns out..." He transforms into robot mode, taking a moment to adjust his disguise. "...I AM SPACE AMBASSADOR WASHINGTON!"


"NO!" says a man in trenchcoat and fedora, standing in the door, silhoutted against the street lights. "I AM SPACE AMBASSADOR WASHINGTON!"


"Whaaaa!?" Americon manages to say before the real Space Ambassador Washington roundhouse kicks him through the ceiling and into the sky. "AAAHHHH I'll have my revenge in Americaaaa--" Americon cries.


Space Ambassador Washington shrugs at Mute. "Sorry, stuck in traffic. Oh, I call myself 'Washington' because my real name's unpronounceable by most species. Where is Princess Llyra? I wanted to meet with her?..."


Americon undergoes a patriotic transformation into his All-American robot mode!


Combat: Americon begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Blades and Swindle


Mr. Grax slides across the men's room and smashes a mirror with his back, dazed by the impact of the punch! "I see you can take a beating," he wheezes, catching his breath. He slaps something on his chest and with a clacking sound the lapped carbon-fiber Master armor extends along his arms and legs, shredding his suit in the process. The last is his helmet, enclosing his face and his bleeding mouth from behind. His eyes are cold and pale just before they disappear behind the mask and he stands back up.


Combat: Mr. Grax sets his defense level to Guarded.


Combat: Mr. Grax takes extra time to steady himself. [Pass]


Carly clambers to her feet, wiping her brow in relief as she re-enters the bar and sees the real Space Ambassador. "It's good to see you, Space Ambassador Washington!" she says, "but I'm afraid you're too late, negotiations have already finished. Drink?" She gestures to the waitress, who everyone has been ignoring and who has been standing with her tray of drinks looking sad. She then raises a quizzical brow at the absence of Velum. "Do you think Velum is /still/ busy in there?" she asks Mute. "I mean, I would check, but..."


Please wait 2 seconds before nominating someone else.


Picking himself up, Mute looks at Carly. At this point he might say something about how many squishy organics does he need to 'save' in one day. However he's still a Bot. So he turns and walks back into the mens toilet just as Grax puts his armour on. He moves to stand next to Velum, while taking no agressive action there's a definite hum of sound eminating from... well everywhere on Mute.


A sharp smirk crawls on Velum's features when watching Grax sail across the bathroom, allowing herself a low chuckle while flexing robotic fingers after such a hard punch. "You think a nail's gonna stop me? Have to try harder than that." With a grunt she reaches down and pulls said nail out, hissing through her teeth and tossing it aside. "No backing out now, so show me what you've got!" Velum loves a good fight, already grinning at the challenge and making a sprint for him.


If Grax doesn't move he'll find her hands upon her, and not in the good way, and his feet leave the floor as he's hoisted up and over her head to be tossed into one of the nearby stalls and into the toilet. His suit may be heavy, but she's pretty strong with that arm of hers.


"Fiddlesticks, I'm too late," Space Ambassador Washington says. "Oh, pardon my foul language." He looks at the tray of drinks. "Hmm, I am very sorry, but alcohol causes my species to fly into a violent rage, killing everything in sight until it is processed through our SCHLEBSHT organs. For your safety, I cannot drink your alcohol. However, it does look very appealing." he licks his lips a bit.


Combat: Velum strikes Mr. Grax with her Up and Over (Kick) attack!


Blades doesn't like Swindle talking about First Aid screaming. Actually, that about... pushes his berserk button, which is probably what Swindle wanted, but Blades doesn't care.


Swindle's cannon blows a huge, sucking hole in Blades's midsection.


He's already half into a cross-cut when the pain catches up with him. As the blade swings, the Protectobot screeches, "Motherboard fragger!"


Combat: Blades strikes Swindle with his Rotor Blade attack! [Pulled -1]


<Autobot> Mute texts: Are we covered for Nebulon Toilet Wrestling damages?


<Autobot> Velum says, "Ngh, just tell 'em to bill me."


"Oh." Carly looks sad for the poor ambassador. "That's a shame, but it's good to know. I will get you a non-alcoholic drink, and we can talk about your lovely planet." She looks over to one of the waiters. "Can I have a coffee please? Any type."


The waiter begins making an Irish Coffee for the Space Ambassador


"It's a start," Grax replies evenly, getting back up from the smashed toilet he was hurled into. He takes hold of a small T-shaped object attached to a black pod mounted under the right forearm of his armor and gives it a yank. Nothing happens. He yanks it again and there is a sudden blaring whirr and a puff of pale blue smoke as a long straight chainsaw blade slides out of the weapon pod, teeth spinning! Grax comes out of the stall swinging, the teeth of his saw chewing sparks off of the stall door as he cleaves through it on his way towards Velum!


Combat: Mr. Grax misses Velum with his Smoking in the Bathrooms attack! [Pulled -2]


The rotor-sword makes another screeching gash across Swindle's midsection, but even has he staggers back from the blow he has the gall to reply to Blades with his typical greasy smirk despite biting back the pain. "Why yes, yes I am."


Though the effects of that weapon didn't last as long as he had hoped. Oh well, now he had a better understanding of its limitations. "Tch, pity I can't finish the job myself, but at least if you bleed out before your friends come you're already in a dark alley. Tootles~" Swindle flashes chopper-boy a mocking salute, then transforms and books it out of the alley and into the busy streets.


Swindle folds down and in on himself to become a military grade off-road jeep.


Combat: Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> sets his defense level to Neutral.


Combat: Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle> begins retreating, outrunning all pursuit.


Mute moves fast as Grax goes to attack Velum, placing himself clearly between the two Nebulons.


"Oh, thank you, I like coffee," says Space Ambassador Washington, sitting himself down. "Well, my planet..." He goes on and on about his world, which actually sounds like an incredibly terrifying place to live and somewhere Carly might want to avoid at all costs.


<Autobot> Blades says, "Aaaaugh! That wirewicking muffler-sucking son of a Yugo!"


<Autobot> Scoop | Holepunch sighs softly. "Shall I begin filing the request forms to have medical on preparetory standby?"


<Autobot> Halligan says, "Do you require assistance?"


<Autobot> Sanguine says, "Medical is already standing by. We are always standing by."


<Autobot> Blades says, "I require Swindle. Tied up. And plausible deniability."


<Autobot> Scoop says, "Good to hear! Do you need any additional materials to prepare? I can run down to the supply deck if you do."


Carly nods along with the Ambassador. "Oh yes, that sounds lovely, the Acid Pit of Despair does indeed sound like a nice holiday destination. We have something similar here on Earth. We call it 'Cleveland'."


<Autobot> Sanguine says, "For the moment I believe that the repair bay is well stocked. Blades. Are you still discharging a...puce...colored fluid?"


<Autobot> Blades says, "Just a little bit, it's not too impressive."


<Autobot> Spindrift | Tracer murmurs "Sounds almost like when humanoids have blood in their ur--" "Not on the public bands, Tracer."


<Autobot> Sanguine says, "Fascinating. Save me a sample."


<Autobot> Blades says, "...sure thing, sweetheart."


....What's that? A pull start? Velum furrows brows, not entirely sure what Grax is up to as he tries to start something on his arm, her own fists up and ready to defend herself.


 And then a chainsaw comes out. Well shit.


 Eyes fly open in panic, Velum quickly wheeling back as he charges forward, swinging wide and ready to rip her to shreds. Her own saving grace is Mute who takes the attack for her, making Velum halt her retreat. "Mute!" Damnit, she wasn't expecting him to take the bullet. 'No fear' attitude suddenly clicks on and the woman is springing back into the fight, weaving around the two in an attempt to grab Grax's chainsaw arm and twist it behind him to start shredding it into himself. She may catch a few teeth in the process, but she doesn't care right now.


Blades looks rabid as Swindle beats his cowardly retreat. He's frothing angry. Blades stomps around the alley, furious slashing his blade through the air in frustration.


Then he pauses to scoop up some of the puce energon he bled into some sample baggies, because Sanguine wants to see some of the corrupted energon that was courtesy of Swindle.


Combat: Velum sets her defense level to Fearless.


Combat: Velum strikes Mr. Grax with her Reverse American Psycho (Smash) attack!


<Autobot> Blades says, "Sample collected. Anyway, so I fought Swindle in the alley behind the bar, and then he ran away. I couldn't beat why he was here out of him, but he did say that a lot of folks are developing anti-Transformer weapons, figuring that there's gonna be war with us, courtesy of the Coalition."


"*Cleave*land?" Space Ambassador Washington says in astonishment. "It sounds like a truly violent place. I had thought Earth was more placid, but perhaps I was wrong?"


<Autobot> Elita One says, "Swindle at a bar? I wonder who he was selling to."


<Autobot> Scoop says, "Not the most trustworthy of sources, but it is certainly a possibility."


<Autobot> Velum says, "May need to clear a space in medbay for a few more, Doc. Mute and I'll need it after this."


<Autobot> Sanguine says, "You said that you experienced the discharge after he attacked you. Perhaps he was sampling the weapon?"


<Autobot> Perceptor says, "Oh my, will my assistance be desired in the repair bay?"


<Autobot> Blades says, "I'd offer to go in and help you, Velum, but... I'd have to break a wall? - Hah, I think the weapon just hacked up my energon."


"Oh, no no no," Carly says, taking a drink. "Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha." She takes another drink, desperately thinking of something to say. "Ha ha ha." She takes another drink. "Ha ha ha." She pauses and pulls out a data tablet. On the tablet is a picture of a cookie. "Look, see, you just keep clicking the cookie."


<Autobot> Sanguine says, "Energon should not be *puce* colored."


<Autobot> Velum says, "We may be able to handle him, Blades. Just keep an eye out for Skullcruncher..."


<Autobot> Blades says, "Look, he pretty heavily implied that weapon was gonna mess me up! Said I was /lucky/ he didn't put Dark Energon in there. - Skullcruncher, gotcha!"


<Autobot> Elita One says, "Wait, what happened, Swindle was tainting energon?"


Mr. Grax grinds sparks off the brave little Autobot's chest as he lunges between the Nebulans. "These things are always in the way," he snaps impatiently, as if Mute was a section of roadwork, or a mop bucket left in a hallway. As Velum seizes his saw arm from behind and digs the teeth into his own glossy, carbon-fiber armor he throws his head back to try to headbutt her, then lunges backwards, trying to pin her to the wall behind him.


<Autobot> Perceptor says, "Fascinating! Blades, what do you recall about this incident? Puce colored energon, what a peculiar reaction..!"


Combat: Mr. Grax sets his defense level to Aggressive.


<Autobot> Blades says, "Swindle shot me and then I started leaking all over, and it's puce. Pretty neat! Bagged some smaples for Sanguine, 'cos she asked all nice-like."


Space Ambassador Washington stares. "Does... does the cookie do anything when you click on it? Also, is there some sort of renovation going on in the restroom?"


<Autobot> Perceptor says, "Ah, would you mind retaining several for me as well?"

<Autobot> Perceptor says, "What do you recall about this .. weapon Swindle used on you?"


Combat: Mr. Grax strikes Mute with his Brawl in the Stall (Ruckus) Area attack!


Combat: Mr. Grax strikes Velum with his Brawl in the Stall (Ruckus) Area attack!


Carly nods quickly, pushing the tablet in the ambassador's face in case someone bursts through the wall in his field of vision. "Yes, it makes another cookie. And no, no, the restrooms are fine, that is the noise of... the noise of normal human waste processing."


<Autobot> Elita One says, "hmm, well he obviously used you as a testing subject. I suggest a quarantine for Blades until this gets analyzed properly. He may be trying to sabotage Defensor"

<Autobot> Scoop says, ".. Now that sounds entirely plausible as well."

<Autobot> Blades says, "Urgh, lemme quote him... "Do you have any idea how many planets, with the Coalitions' extravagant activities, have begun trying to develope anti-transformer weaponry? You think Cross's work was horrific to experience? Check out this sample I picked up off the intergalactic black markets! And be glad Shockwave turned down my suggestion to modify it to use Dark Energon.""

<Autobot> Scoop lets out a low whistle... then pauses. "Wait, Dark Energon?"

<Autobot> Sanguine says, "I agree. All units should keep contact with Blades at a minimum. A full quarantine ward may not be necessary but I recommend isolation."

<Autobot> Blades says, "...oi."

<Autobot> Perceptor says, "Mhm, potent indeed. Intergalatic black markets? That may be a lead worth following. Dark Energon.. I dislike the sound of that."


Having hoped getting in the way would end this, Mute is rather annoyed as Grax continues to attack (okay so Velum pushed the attack first, but still, Grax, grrrr). So fine, can't keep this peaceful, then time to make a noise. Mute reaches his hands out to place them on either side of Grax, letting the Nebulon taste some Earth music. Some really really loud Earth music (yet oddly even Velum only hears it like someone listening on headphones).


<Autobot> Swerve says, "I think they have a salve for that."

<Autobot> Sanguine says, "We do not have a slave for that."

<Autobot> Blades says, "Don't have too much fun in the black markets without me."

<Autobot> Elita One says, "maybe in a weird way, Swindle was trying to help us out by letting us know what was happening. Its implausible, but consider it. He damages Blades then leaves, he might want us to find a cure or vaccine for whatever happened"


Combat: Mute strikes Mr. Grax with his Teen Idol Deluge attack!

Combat: Mute's attack has strange and mysterious effects on Mr. Grax.


<Autobot> Swerve says, "No, like... you know, an ointment. Like for rust-rash. Come on, nobody knows metallurgy anymore?"

<Autobot> Blades says, "No, he left because I beat his skidplate."

<Autobot> Elita One says, "well let me rephrase, maybe he attacked you with the weapon hoping YOU'd retreat and we'd try to find a cure, but instead you discouraged him with brutal efficiency, causing him to retreat..."

<Autobot> Perceptor says, "A valid point, Elita, perhaps the Decepticons are similiarly afflicted already, if not, are afraid they soon will be."

<Autobot> Blades says, "/Maybe/ I just need to go get wasted until my energon runs green and we can just all forget this happened. Eh? Eh?"

<Autobot> Perceptor says, "I would not recommend that Blades."

<Autobot> Scoop says, "I'd wait on getting fendered until after they make sure your energon systems aren't contaminated."

<Autobot> Elita One says, "An energon flush may actually be the right option, Blades, but I will leave that decision to those in the know"


Space Ambassador Washington raises a brow at the cookie. "Well, it seems moderately entertaining I suppose. Hm. So... human waste processing involves..." He puts his hands over his ears. "...extremely loud music? What is the purpose?"


Velum gets a slice on the leg for her troubles with wrestling a chainsaw, jeans already turning dark with the blood that soaks into them. Grax adds insult to injury by catching her off guard and smacking her in the face with his headbutt that connects with a nasty little crunch before she's rammed into the wall. Velum splutters and gasps through the waterfall of blood pouring out of her nose, white hot lightning firing behind her eyes from the pain that has her stumbling sideways against the wall a step or two. "Ergh.. Mute led's ged oudda here.." Talking with a bloody nose is hard.


Hopefully Mute's attack will keep Grax at bay long enough for Velum to stumble out the bathroom door, not interested in getting more banged up than she already is today. She expects the cassette to follow.


Combat: Velum begins retreating, leaving herself vulnerable to parting shots from Blades, Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle>, Americon, Mr. Grax, Galen <Fortress Maximus>, and Mute


<Autobot> Velum speaks as if her nose is blocked, "Blades, can you still fly?"

<Autobot> Blades says, "Yes, ma'am. You need medevac?"

<Autobot> Velum says, "Yeah. Hope you don't mind some blood on your interior. Sorry in advance."

<Autobot> Blades says, "...wait, are we worried about her catching puce?"

<Autobot> Sanguine says, "Are you worried about catching a human cold?"

<Autobot> Scoop says, "I don't recall humans using energon."

<Autobot> Blades says, "Velum's a /cyborg/ Nebulan."

<Autobot> Velum says, "Broken nose, Doc."


Carly pales as Velum staggers out of the toilet. She wheels the Ambassador's chair around to face the other way and presses the tablet right in front of his eyes. "Yes, perfectly normal, just keep clicking those cookies!" She then quickly runs over to give Velum any support she might need. "Velum! What's going on in there?"


<Autobot> Blades says, "Her /robot/ bits can prob'ly catch something off me. Anyway, no, blood's great. Er. Fine. It's fine."


Mr. Grax's armor shivers and vibrates, chunks splintering off of it in several places to reveal the miniaturized machinery beneath. He staggers back against the wall under the window, which also shatters, raining glass down on him. Half-dazed, he presses a flat smooth button on one of his wrists. Almost immediately there is a deep rumbling noise from nowhere in particular and all of the sinks, toilets and urinals (even the bidets, because this is a fancy diplomat restaurant the bar is located in) gush blackwater onto the floor. It sounds like a subway train pulling into the station, except there's no station under this building. "I'll be seeing you," Grax hisses, one eye visible through his cracked protective visor, full of detached reptilian hatred. He slashes at the floor with his chainsaw and stomps hard, falling through and disappearing into the sewer. Something long and dark is half-seen moving with the speed of a running human in the dim light of the main pipe, a glistening surface which fills the pipe, and then the rumbling sound fades into the distance.

Skullcruncher transforms into a giant robot alligator!


Blades transforms into a helicopter and pops open one of his doors. His blades start to spin up as he prepares for takeoff. Whirr-whiir-whiiiirrrrrr!


Blades transforms into his Bell UH-1V Iroquois <Blades> mode.


Combat: Giant Robot Alligator <Skullcruncher> sets his defense level to Protected.


Combat: Giant Robot Alligator <Skullcruncher> begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Bell UH-1V Iroquois <Blades> and Military Gunnery Jeep <Swindle>


Space Ambassador Washington gets to cookie clicking. "Hmmm... this is... strangely addicting!" Click click click.



Standing back as Grax makes his exit, Mute watches for a moment, considering. Then without warning he spins 180 degrees on the ball of one foot and is suddenly walking out the toilet. Where Grax hit him with his chainsaw is leaking normal energon, with the occassional spark. However if he is in pain he doesn't show it. He instead moves to assist Velum if required.


Floating serenely on a puddle of dirty water in the bathroom is a business card, smooth and pale and beautifully typeset. It reads:

                        William D. Grax Jr., Esq

                Mergers & Acquisitions

And then a phone number and an address.


Velum isn't looking too good as she limps to the front door, only for Carly to come up beside her halfway there. "Fine.." She lies with a nod to her, looking bloody alll around. "Might wanna ged oudda here before dhey see the bathroom.." She spits a few blood drops now and then while speaking, continuing to move outside and waving Mute to follow so they can hitch a ride on Blades and ruin his nice interior. She'd rather get medical treatment where she knows it's safe rather than get caught by the bar owner.


Bell UH-1V Iroquois <Blades> looks forward to having his interior ruined! He will carry whoever needs medical attention to appropriate medical attention. Then he will check himself into quarantine. And sulk.


The ambassador is utterly lost in the game, as idiotically pointless as it may be.


Mute follows Velum, and gets to see Blades interior get ruined.

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